Captain Kathryn Janeway quirked a half grin and looked across the table to where her first officer sat perusing a Padd. Commander Chakotay sighed and deposited the Padd on top of a growing stack in the centre of the conference room table. They had been at this for several hours and, although they had found a few inspirational ideas, something truly unique was yet to appear.
"Chakotay, I think I've found it." Jane way spoke in a low voice, a sure sign of her fatigue.
Chakotay picked up the Padd his captain had slid across the table and quickly scanned the summary.
After a few moments his _expression changed from resignation to relief.
"I think you're right Captain, thank the Gods, I was about to suggest rerunning Fairhaven for the duration, but this" he waved the small panel up and down, "this is by far the best I've seen yet." He looked at the stack of unread proposals and then glanced at Janeway "I suppose it wouldn't be fair to stop looking, would it?" The question was belying the obvious hope in his eyes.
The Captains blue eyes sparkled conspiratorially, but her commitment to fairness out weighed her own desires. "Let's take a break Chakotay, we could have dinner here and finish up ... or we could each take half and sort through them on our own." She yawned suddenly, covering her mouth with one hand.
"Well that settles it I think." He said stretching his arms and shrugging his broad shoulders, before standing up and sorting through the unread Padds, "We don't have to decide tonight after all."
"I know, but we'll reach the void in only two days, I'd like to have this up and running by then. I can't have a repeat of..." She trailed off, the guilt of her past selfishness catching in her throat. Chakotay watched her in silence for a moment before he spoke; "Kathryn no one really thinks less of you for what happened ... it was a difficult time for everyone." The memories of the months of pitch-blackness were still quite fresh in his mind too. "Besides this time we're prepared, plenty of supplies and a solid plan to keep us all sane." He handed the Padd back to her completely oblivious to the sting of his last statement. The captains eyebrows furrowed together as she carefully picked up her half of the Padds, 'I hope you're right ' She thought "Goodnight Chakotay."
"Goodnight." he said to her back as she left the room, silently vowing to himself that this time things would definitely be different.
*************
Most of the crew had gathered in the mess hall to hear the Captains announcement, talking excitedly, wondering whose holoprogram had been chosen to carry them through the seven week journey through another barren area of space. In an effort to boost morale and distract the crew’s attention away from the impending blackness the First officer had come up with the idea of making it into a contest of sorts. Looking around the room he smiled to himself, the idea had certainly worked well. When the Captain arrived it only took a few moments for the chatter to subside. Janeway graced them with her generous smile, unaware of how many hearts she set fluttering.
"I'm glad to see you all here. It was difficult decision and I want you all to know that Commander Chakotay and I chose the program designed for maximum entertainment value," she paused dramatically knowing how to work the crowd. She held aloft the small Padd. " This ones got it all! Dancing all night long, moonlit beaches ... It begins with twelve full days of Revelry in the spirit of a Caribbean style Carnival complete with singing, dancing, and steel drum competitions running 24 hours a day! And If we all survive that the following weeks will be spent in all manner of activities from surfing to hiking and hang gliding. Both Holodecks will be used for the duration, however if nothing appeals to you here, which isn't likely, we'll set up a small holodeck in cargo bay one." Chakotay moved to stand beside her, "Now We'd like to express our thanks to the creators of this marvel, they're obviously quite a team, Crewman William Telfer and Tal Celes!"
Cheers and applause thundered through the mess hall as the two stepped forward shyly accepting the commendation plaques from the first officer. Celes' eyes were wet with emotion as she thanked the Captain uttering a small "Thanks."
"No, Thank you, Celes." Janeway purred as she wrapped her arm around the young woman's shoulders, "this program of yours might just save our sanity." The young Bajoran thought she might faint from the sensory overload of Janeway not only touching her but her voice, that rich, gravelly, voice so close to her ear. Janeway squeezed her shoulder before releasing it to shake Telfers hand.
"Well done, William!" She smiled. He stuttered his thanks and pulled Celes away waking her from her reverie of Janeway induced ecstasy.
"Carnivaal will begin at 0900 hours tomorrow. Feels free to bring your dancing shoes and get plenty of rest tonight, you'll need it. Commander Chakotay has something to tell you about the schedule." Janeway stepped back to give him the floor, her eyes meeting Celes's who was still staring at her. She smiled at her. The beautiful young woman's eyes sparkled and her cheeks flushed. Janeway tried to ignore the girls obvious crush and scanned the crowd. Chakotay was announcing a switch to six hour shifts for the duration of their crossing which elicited louder cheers from the crew. Her eyes settled on Seven of Nine, who appeared to be glaring in the general direction of Telfer and Celes. The former borg moved her eyes to the Captian, running an appreciative gaze up the smaller woman's trim compact form, taking in every detail of her: the line of her thigh muscles, the strong small hand on her hip, the curve of her jacket over her breasts, those incredible greyblue eyes. Seven jumped slightly when she realised the Captain was returning her gaze and was suddenly self conscious of what she'd been thinking. Janeway knew exactly what kind of looking over she'd just received, she was surprised at its source and even more surprised at its effect on her. She found herself intrigued and, yes, excited at the attention, however at the same time damned afraid of what it could mean. Seven turned and hurried out of the messhall. Janeway watched her leave.
After a few minutes of chatting with various crewmen from the lower decks Janeway left.
"Computer locate Seven of Nine." She asked after the doors closed behind her.
"Seven of Nine is in Astrometrics." The computer informed her, Janeway walked towards the nearest turbo-lift but paused before stepping inside. What are you planning to do exactly? Go down there and ask her if her hands would like to follow the path her eyes had? The thought sent a shiver up Kathryn's spine. Still uncertain but unwilling to stop herself she strode into the lift.
Seven of Nines hands flew quickly over her main console entering data projections and calculations in an attempt to distract herself from the ideas and images that had almost completely taken over her synapses in the past few days. She heard footsteps approaching and the quiet whiisss of the doors opening behind her. It was quite late and she wondered who would be wandering around her lab at this time. Arching a brow and looking over her shoulder, her breath caught for a moment before she composed herself and turned back to her calculations "Captain Janeway, ... do you require my assistance?
"Yes, Seven, I think I do..." The silky contralto vibrating pleasantly in Seven's ears. Janeway was soon standing next to her looking over the projections her console was generating. "What are you working on, Seven?"
"I am conducting further sensor sweeps of the dark sector we've just entered. I would prefer to avoid any surprises." Another pang of guilt struck Janeway's stomach. She looked at Seven's face, her smooth spotless skin, the elegant line of her nose and the full beautiful lips, she studied the star shaped implant at Sevens ear and followed the shimmering hairline up the young woman's face.
"Captain?" Seven turned to look at her, her blue eyes vibrant with barely restrained emotions. The look of fear and confusion reminded the Captain just how young and inexperienced her former Borg was. Your Borg Katie? Janeway cleared her throat, trying to control herself.
"How have you been Seven?" That seemed like a safe place to start. Seven relaxed a little.
"I am well, thank -you. How have you been?"
"Never better, Seven. Looking forward to a little R&R. How about you?"
"I do not require R and R. Besides my time will be occupied with the children." She avoided the Captains eyes but clearly heard her sigh. Then felt fire race through her blood when Janeway put a hand on her shoulder.
"I disagree Seven, you do need some. Besides, Celes included round the clock activities for the children in the program." Sevens nostrils flared ever so slightly and her jaw tightened at the mention of the Bajoran. "So you have nothing to worry about." Jane way tried to turn the young woman towards her to look into her eyes. "Seven, I can tell something is bothering you, please tell me about it." She rubbed a comforting hand up and down her arm, trying to ignore the growing desire to wrap her arms around the tall blond. Seven managed to move away slightly, lessening the Captains grip but not losing it completely. "Are you regenerating enough?" Janeway knew that Seven shared her habit of working overtime.
"Captain when Tal Celes looks at you ... how does it make you feel?"
"Celes? I ... I'm not sure what you mean Seven..."
"Just now in the messhall, she looked at you with obvious ... desire? How did that make you feel?" Seven clenched her jaw, afraid of the answer but glad she'd been so direct.
"I know she has a bit of a crush on me, which is flattering, but if anything it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable." Janeway saw the colour rise in Seven's cheeks.
"Uncomfortable? Why? Do you reciprocate her feelings?" Seven turned and looked directly into Janeway's eyes, which widened in surprise. The Captain blinked a few times.
"Reciprocate? No, Seven, certainly not! She's just a girl! ... I wanted to maintain the connection we'd made on our away mission, which I suppose she turned into something more." Seven did not look convinced. "I'm uncomfortable because I don't want to ignore her but at the same time she'll misinterpret any attention I pay to her. It's a very delicate balance."
"So you do not desire her? You do not wish to pursue a ... an intimate relationship with her?" Seven swallowed her fear, keeping her eyes locked on Janeway's beautiful blues.
"No, Seven, I do not," Janeway stated in her firmest voice. Jealous, she's jealous! Kathryn's head swam with a combination of horror and pride. "Besides, Seven,” she dropper her voice to a husky whisper, “she wasn't the only one looking at me with desire in her eyes." What are you doing, what are you doing? What are you doing!
Seven dropped her eyes and looked like she wanted to flee, "I ... I am sorry, Captain, but you are a very attractive woman and... and ... it was inappropriate. I am sorry. It shall not happen again." Seven turned back to her console and tried to stifle the unfamiliar urge to cry or scream. Janeway noticed the trembling of the younger woman's fingers and knew she had to intervene. Reaching to clasp both of Seven's hands in hers Janeway turned her so they were once again standing face to face.
"Seven, listen to me carefully. Never, ever apologize for your desires, especially not to me. Learn to control them perhaps, but never apologize." The fear in the stunning blue eyes lessened but a new confusion shone through. Her voice was more tentative than Kathryn had ever heard.
"You are not angry with me for feeling, for looking at you in such a manner?"
"No! I'm flattered Seven, how could I not be? It makes sense that you might develop a crush on me, you're still exploring your humanity, we spend a lot of time together..." You don't have that excuse though do you? She chided herself. Seven's eyes darkened.
"This is not a crush. It is not a fleeting nor temporary sensation, Captain." She pulled her hands away and crossed them defensively over her chest. You're in trouble now Katie!
"How long have you felt this way, Seven?" Again, Janeway choked back her apprehensions.
"I do not remember a time when I did not feel a strong desire to share your company, whenever possible. However, in the last six months I stopped thinking of you as merely a mentor, Captain, or friend, but as ... as a woman. I find myself wondering what your skin feels like or ways to make you smile so your eyes sparkle, or if you would ever... ever" She stared down at the floor.
"Would I ever what, Seven...?" Kathryn waited, holding her breath for her reply.
"Ever desire a more intimate relationship with me?" Seven continued to look at the floor not seeing Janeway's jaw drop, her chest heave, pupils dilate or her mouth begin to water with just that desire. Can't Can't Can't Oh God I want to! What the hell is happening? I Can't!
"Seven, I can't, I can not involve myself ..." Why Not? Why Not!
"You do not desire me," Seven stated with a painful finality. "I am sorry,
Captain," she shut down her console, "I must regenerate now." And then she was
gone, door sliding closed behind her, leaving Janeway immobilized with fear of
her own desires. When the Captain finally escaped her stupor she strode out of
Astrometrics and headed straight to Cargo bay two. Perhaps I should just let
it lie, let Seven believe the lie? You owe her the truth at the very least.
Seven had already initiated her regeneration cycle when the Captain arrived.
Though she had done it on several occasions Janeway could not allow herself to
interrupt this time. Instead she stood silently watching, taking in the
exquisite beauty of Seven of Nine. As she watched a single tear slid down
Seven's cheek. An ocean of restrained emotions broke through her barricades and
Janeway collapsed to the floor sobbing quietly, gasping for air, gasping for
life. She rested her head and arms on the step of the alcove. Gradually the
anguish subsided and she slept.
Seven awoke in mid-cycle, heart pounding, a strangled cry in her throat. In front of her, curled up like a frightened child, lay the very substance of her dreams. Seven carefully and quietly moved to crouch beside the woman she loved. The skin around the Captains eyes was red, her face streaked with tears, Seven realized Kathryn must have cried herself to sleep. Seven felt a new kind of warmth spread over her, filling out the edges of her desire. She wanted to hold Kathryn in her arms and protect her, caress away her pain, soothe her spirit. Seven reached out and stroked a redbrown lock of hair from Kathryn's cheek. Perhaps I was too quick to assume how she feels ... Perhaps the look in her eyes was not simply confusion but fear as well ... fear of her own desires. A fear Seven had recently become well acquainted with. Knowing that Kathryn would awaken sore and stiff if she spent any more time on the floor, Seven decided to carry her back to her quarters. With her Borg enhanced strength she easily lifted the smaller woman in her arms. Janeway didn't stir except to snuggle her head against Sevens chest, reaching up to place one hand on Sevens left breast which immediately roused itself. With the Captain safely in her arms, Seven's nipples ached to be touched. She looked down at the peaceful face of her loved one and wondered how she could feel so many intense emotions at once and remain standing, breathing?
Seven strode cautiously down the hall not wanting anything to disturb her
Captain. A surprised ensign stepped off of the turbo lift then turned to hold
the door open while Seven and her precious cargo stepped in. Safety protocols in
the lift system made it a completely illogical action but Seven nodded a silent
thank-you to him regardless. The door to Janeway's quarters opened noiselessly,
Seven moved directly to the bedroom and leaned over placing Kathryn on top of
the covers. The Captain held on, refusing to let her go. "Rest now, Kathryn, you
are home. Rest, ... my love," Seven whispered and Kathryn's hold on her
slackened enough that her jacket could be removed. After laying her down, Seven
slipped out of her arms and pulled the spare quilt over her. The Captain pulled
the fabric to her and curled up once more, mumbling 'Sev-en'. The former Borg
held her breath, afraid she'd disturbed her sleep. Kathryn's breathing remained
the same. She is dreaming of me! Seven gloated as she slipped Kathryn's boots
off and set them on the floor. She stood watching her Captain sleep for a long
time unconsciously hugging Kathryn's jacket. She thought about all of the times
she had been aware of the Captain watching her regenerate. Another wave of
warmth crashed over her. She Does desire me ... it is merely her fear that is
keeping her from me ... I shall prove to her there is nothing to fear. Seven
placed the jacket on the chaise and pulled the blanket higher. Her fingers
barely made contact caressing Janeway's jaw. Her lips were feather light on her
forehead, "I love you, Kathryn." she murmured, then quietly slipped out the door.
*********
Captain Kathryn Janeway awoke with a slight headache, her eyes were stinging and her back was unusually stiff. Feeling slightly muddled she stretched her arms and realized she was still in her uniform. Then everything came flooding back. She sat up, looking around, noting her jacket and boots right where she would normally drop them at the end of her shift. "Seven!" she gasped, as her body reminded her just how she got home. “Dear god what if someone saw us?” Who cares? She walked out on you and all you did was cry yourself to sleep at her feet! Excellent strategy, Captain! Definately maintaining a balance there! "Oh God." Just go to her and explain it again. You can, it's that simple. No, it's not. You do want her, Katie, exactly the same way she wants you! No-one has ever made you FEEL like she does. My God, she's too young! She doesn't know what she's doing ... I've just got to find a way to make her understand. What? find the right LINE and it'll all work out? Tell her how you really feel! "I Can't!" It took every once of willpower she had but she managed to silence the warring halves of herself. She got up and grabbed her jacket intending to replicate fresh one. A faint whiff of Seven filled her nostrils, without thinking she brought the jacket to her face and breathed in deeply. The young woman's scent sending a wave of desire down her thighs. Coming to her senses she calmed her breathing. Quickly removed her pips and tossed the jacket on the replicater. The rest of her uniform soon followed. She barked instructions for a fresh one before stepping into the shower.
Lieutenant Kim was surprised to see Captain Janeway on the Bridge; he immediately jumped out of her chair. "Captain, I wasn't expecting you. Aren't you scheduled for leave starting today?"
"Don't worry Lieutenant, I just have a few things to take care of, you still have the bridge."
She made a small gesture with her hand and turned to enter her ready room. As the door closed behind her she felt her composure slip a little. She spent the morning 'going over reports' which really meant staring at her computer screen while she rehearsed what to say to Seven of Nine.
At 0930, precisely two hours after she had arrived, the chime to the ready room sounded.
"Come In." She called, in her slightly annoyed this-had-better-be-good voice. Her first officer strode into the room right up to the edge of her desk. He leaned over, spreading both hands on her tidy tabletop. Normally it would be a menacing pose, however dressed as he was in sequined green gauchos, green body paint with green scarves tied around various parts of his anatomy, menacing wasn't quite the effect. "Chakotay?" Janeway smirked up at him, "Can I help you?"
"What do you think you're doing, Kathryn? You're on leave as of 0600 this morning, we didn't go through all of this for a few members of the crew, it's for you too. I won't allow you to go about business as usual when you're supposed to be relaxing." The Captain opened her mouth to speak, but Chakotay just kept on going. "I won't take any excuses, if you don't turn off your computer this instant and join us for Carnivaal, I'll throw you over my shoulder and carry you there!" The look in his eyes sharply contrasted the humour of his outfit. Janeway knew she couldn't hide forever.
"Over your shoulder hmm?" She quirked an eyebrow at him.
"That's right."
"Kicking and screaming?" she smirked.
"If that's what it takes." The smallest hint of a smile played around his eyes. She stood up, giving him a long measuring look.
"I believe you would." She closed her console, "Besides, like I've always said, never argue with a first officer in sequins." She smiled and Chakotay surprised her with a flourishing bow.
"Wise decision, Captain. After you," he grinned. As they walked out of the ready room, Harry glanced up at them barely restraining a smile. Chakotay paused.
"Is there something else I can help you with, Lieutenant?" He asked casually.
"No! No sir, thank-you for responding so quickly." Harry avoided the Captain’s fierce look.
"If there's any more trouble you know where I'll be." Chakotay turned towards the lift.
"Aye Sir." Harry's voice smiled. In the turbolift Chakotay met the Captains scathing look with one of total nonchalance.
"What's going on here? Mutiny?" She asked only half joking.
"I told you we weren't going to make the same mistakes, Captain. I promised myself you would have fun this time, lots of it. So I'll wait for you to change into something more appropriate and then we can go to the holodeck." Chakotay crossed his arms over his broad chest and waited just inside the door to her quarters. The Captain chose a white linen tank top and loose light cotton pants, and a simple pair of comfy leather sandals. "That's much better." Chakotay smiled and gestured towards the door, "After you." Kathryn smirked at him and shook her head.
"Now don't expect me to join your dance troupe just yet, Chakotay, I'd really just like to relax, lie around, read a little ... Would that be acceptable commander or must I too go sequined?"
Chakotay smiled down at his outfit, "Quite something isn't it? ..." She nodded. "You can do what ever you like Captain, long as it's done on the holodeck and isn't ships business"
"And if I leave the holodeck, will the ship go to red alert?"
"Not quite, but if you spend more than 48 hours in your quarters the computer will let me know."
"I see."
"Don't worry, Captain, Celes set aside the best villa in town just for you." He grinned.
**********
Her Villa was indeed the best available. It was located high on the sloping cliffs, her front veranda overlooking the town, the beach and the ocean, the rear veranda had a clear view along the main road to the Plaza de Fiesta. Kathryn closed her eyes and let the cool breeze wash over her. The entire setting reminded her of many small Mediterranean coastal towns she'd visited, with it's steep terrain, curved waterfront and narrow winding cobblestone streets. The architecture was completely different, it was an odd mix of Dutch colonial and Club Med Cabana. She scanned the streets, some were clogged with people, real and holographic alike, dancing, drumming and chanting. Others were near deserted with only a few of the crew relaxing at a café or strolling in the shaded lanes.
Kathryn replicated a jug of cold ice tea and a tall glass then settled herself on a comfy lounge chair under a large umbrella. A part of her felt guilty for keeping to herself while her crew partied all around her, but she'd never really been one for crowds and knew that nothing relaxed her more that a good long uninterrupted read. She'd make an appearance later, for now she was going to follow Chakotay's instructions to the letter. She cracked open her new novel feeling deliciously decadent.
Later when the jug was empty and the Captain feeling quite relaxed she noticed the music, which had been a constant thrum in the distance, was growing louder, drawing near. Through the gaps in the balustrade she could she a long line of colourful dancers winding up the main street. Kathryn stood and walked over to get a better look. It was really quite a spectacle, hundreds in bright or shimmering costumes, some were so large and elaborate they had wheels and attendants to support either the costume or the person inside of it. Each troupe had a main colour or theme. The first group to pass below her balcony were covered with blue body paint with short skirts or head-dresses of shiny green leaves. Kathryn was a bit surprised by the amount of nudity, but then reminded herself it was supposed to be as authentic as possible. Right in the thick of things she spotted a familiar face. Mitchell, who spent most of his time on decks 14 and 15, was surrounded by writhing bodies who were undressing him, smearing blue paint over his arms and chest and tying leafy armbands around his biceps. He looked like he was thoroughly enjoying himself . The right corner of Kathryn’s mouth curled up as she watched him. She refilled the ice tea and sat on the wide solid banister content to watch the loud, vibrant spectacle snake by. An hour later the last troupe came into sight, these revelers sparkled silver in the evening sun. The usual mass of dancers, jumping, wining and shaking were followed by six lines of well muscled men pulling ropes attached to a platform. On top of which stood a lone figure wearing the largest most ornate costume Kathryn had seen all day. From a distance it was difficult to discern what the silver person was supposed to be but as they got closer the Captain noticed the platform was shaped like a cresent and the men had white cresent moons painted on their chests. Kathryns face flushed a little when she could see just how little they were wearing. Most men, in her opinion, should never wear Speedos let alone silver thongs, but these guys were more than perfect enough to carry it off. She turned her attention to the float. Under all the sequins, pole-flags and tin was a woman who, due no doubt to the weight of the costume, was far more reserved in her movements, swaying her hips and occasionally sweeping her arms out wide, rising them up and waving. As the float got even closer Kathryn saw that the woman's headdress was a silver crescent moon, and that above her left eye... "Seven!" She gasped.
Her eyes trailed over Seven's outfit, lingering on the rather revealing bikini top, down her sparkled abdomen to the equally revealing bikini briefs. The layered rhythms of the huge steel drum band pounded Kathryn's chest, her legs drained of blood and her mind felt faint. She closed her eyes and tried to steady herself. When she opened them Seven was quite close, looking directly at the Captain.
Her Borg implant arched slightly higher over her eye. Holding the Captain's gaze, she began to move her hips in a more circular fashion while running her hands up her thighs and belly, sliding them up over her breasts, the barest hint of a smile on her lips. As her platform passed under the Captain's balcony Seven turned to the side her head tilted up to keep her eyes locked with Kathryn's, who was now a mere six metres away.
Though she felt exposed and self conscious, for some reason the Captain found she was incapable of looking away, could think of nothing else she would rather do. Her mouth was quite dry and she felt uncomfortably hot in the temperature-controlled holodeck. Seven finally broke their eye contact as her float rounded the last corner. Kathryn immediately hopped down and raced to the back balcony, catching a quick glimpse of Sevens exquisitely muscled back and legs. She closed her now watering mouth.
"Captain!" Someone yelled, and Kathryn scanned the crowd annoyed at the interruption.
She spotted the Doctor at the head of the Steel drum band that was following
Seven. Lifting a hand to return his wave she felt suddenly very annoyed with the
idea of him staring at Seven's behind, but forced a smile. The Plaza was a
throbbing mass of musicians and dancers. The best troupe of the day would soon
be chosen. In an attempt to clear her head Kathryn retrieved her iced tea and
stood staring out at the gathering dusk. Regardless of where she tried to
channel her thoughts they always returned to Seven of Nine. Eventually she gave
up and went inside to lie down, pursued by the persistent rhythm of the music
and the images it evoked. Images of Seven haunted her. She drifted into sleep
with visions of silver flashing in sunshine and the knowing smile on Seven's
Moon Goddess lips.
********
She was awakened by a door chime. Finding herself topless and flushed atop tangled sheets, Kathryn fumbled out of bed and pulled on her top.
"Just a moment!" She called straightening up the bed and hiding her bra under the pillow.
'When did that come off' she wondered. She pulled the ornate door open to find a familiar Bajoran smeared with zig zags of red and purple paint.
"Celes, How are you?" Kathryn asked, her voice husky with sleep.
"Great, Captain, um did I wake you up? I'm so sorry... I should go."
The Captain raised her hand and smiled a little, "It's OK Celes, would you like to come in?" She stepped back to give the young woman room to enter, closing the door silently. Celes walked towards the front veranda, chewing her lip nervously, Kathryn noticed. "Would you like some iced tea?"
"Yes Ma'am" Celes squeaked nervously, 'Prophets what am I doing here, this is nuts!'
"Let's go outside," Kathryn replicated a jug and two glasses, handing one to Celes. " I really have to thank you for this view, Celes, it's wonderful."
"I'm glad you like it, Captain." She sipped her iced tea like she was afraid of spilling it.
"Please, call me Kathryn, Celes. After all you don't really get more off duty than this. Where are you staying?" Kathryn noticed the Bajoran was blushing under her face paint. Celes noticed the Captain was not wearing a bra, she gulped some tea and tried not to look. After a few moments of awkward silence, Celes realized that Kathryn was waiting for a response.
"I Um, have a little place on the beach it's just one room really, I wasn't planning on sleeping there." The Captain nodded and looked out at the sunset, gathering her thoughts.
" Did you like the parade, I saw you watching and I wondered..." Celes started and then stopped, seeing by the Captains face that her thoughts were light years away. "I shouldn't have come, I'm sorry I disturbed you." She put down her glass on the banister and fled towards the door. She was surprised when a hand grabbed her just as she grasped the door handle. She looked down and the small strong fingers, amazed.
"Celes, I think there's something we need to talk about ..." Kathryn turned the girl around her and looked her straight in the eyes. "Why did you come to see me tonight?" Celes' hand gripped the handle with fear, unlocking it and pulling the door slightly ajar.
"Captain, Ah Kathryn I, I just wanted to make sure everything was perfect for you, I" She dropped her eyes, no longer able to lie with those grey-blue eyes searching hers.
"Celes, I think I know why you're here..." The Captain grasped the young woman's hands in her own. Celes looked up to see Kathryn's eyes looking nervously down at their hands. "I'm not sure ... how to..."
Celes, acting on impulse blurted out, " I'm in love with you Captain. I ... I know you're probably not in love with me ..." Kathryn felt the tension in Celes' arms disappear, in an instant she was basically holding the now limp crewman up. Celes squeezed her eyes shut until her dizzyness passed. "Of Course you aren't! I'm such an idiot! I'm sorry Captain, I'll stop bothering you." Celes' head hung so low Kathryn had to crouch down to look up into her eyes. Still holding the girl’s arms tight, Kathryn tried vainly to make eye contact. She soon gave up and stood up but didn't release her hold.
"Celes, You're not bothering me. I know, that is, I've guessed ... how you were feeling ... and I'm really very flattered, Celes, I am, but..."
"But you don't care about me at all, I'm so stupid." She shook her head slowly, not looking at the Captain's face.
"I do care about you Celes, I care about all of my crew. But even if I did ... have such feelings for...someone on Voyager, I could never allow myself to ... it wouldn't be appropriate."
Celes stared open-mouthed at the Captain, amazed at what she'd just said.
"So , because you're the Captain you're supposed to be dead or something! We could all be out here for a long time and"
"And that's my fault, Celes! That's why I can't allow myself. All of my focus has to be on getting us home, Celes.. Do you understand?" Celes looked into her Captains eyes and saw, for the first time the burden of guilt and the sharp edge of loneliness hidden there. Tears welled up in her own eyes, and she wanted nothing but to hold this woman in her arms and take all of the guilt and pain away. However she realized that if the Captain ever did let someone get that close it wasn't likely to be her. She let the tears slide down her face. Then grabbed the Captain in a tight hug. Quickly pulling away, shaking her head, She said "I'm sorry Captain , I'm so sorry for you ... sorry"
Kathryn realized what Celes had said as she watched her hurry away down the shadowy lane.
"Sorry for me?" She wondered aloud.
"As she should be." The unmistakable tone of Seven of Nine's voice reached her.
"Seven, How ... long have you?" Kathryn's voice was suddenly too hoarse to continue.
"I heard everything Captain." She emerged from the shadows near Kathryn's door. "How could you be so foolish Captain, and so cruel. Cruel to Celes, to me, and most of all to yourself. It would appear Tal Celes is not the only Idiot on this ship." Eyes brimming with tears Seven turned and ran from her, wanting only to get away. To escape all of this new emotional turmoil. In the Collective emotion was irrelevant. For the first time in over a year Seven longed for that sterile, safe, emotionless place. She ran without thinking of where she was going. She simply ran through the increasingly shadowed streets. She ran until she could no longer deny the pain burning in her chest. She stumbled to a stop in the darkened corner of a narrow laneway. As the sobs took her she leaned against the wall, sliding down to crouch with her head in her hands. It wasn't long before all manner of fluids were coursing through her fingers, she had never felt so ... wretched. Yes that was the word. She gave herself over to the sensation, somehow, though she didn't understand why, it made her feel better. Well, slightly better. She was quite thankful that she had run away from the crowds, she did not want to share this new sensation with anyone else. Just as that thought entered her mind someone appeared at the far end of the lane. Seven instantly recognized the Captain's silhouette. Kathryn leaned against the wall holding her side, gasping for air. She peered into the shadows, noticing the movement as Seven turned away from her. She forced herself to jog closer, then stopped, bent over, her hands braced on her knees.
"Seven!" She gasped. "Please , Seven, let me explain."
"No, I will not listen to you! What can you explain to me? Why you deny your own humanity while I cannot? Why you are allowed to hide from you emotions, when every day, simply by existing, you force me to face mine?" Seven pulled herself up wiping her nose on a silver scarf that still hung from her wrist, and rubbed the heels of her hands in her eyes. The Captain stood wide-eyed before her. "Why did you come to me last night? Why watch me regenerate? Why follow me now if you do not desire me?"
"Seven, I know this isn't fair"
"Fair? It is utterly illogical! I know you feel what I am feeling, I knew when I held you in my arms last night, when you called out to me in your dreams. Yet you deny it!" Seven could see tears welling up in the Captain's eyes, but continued, feeling that she must say everything now.
"Why must you punish yourself Kathryn? Why punish me? You told me to never apologize for my desires Kathryn, Why do you? Why can't you let me love you? Let yourself love me?" The last question came out as a sob and Seven turned to lean against the wall. Kathryn also leaned against the rough stucco, her forehead braced on the wall, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs, tears dripping to the cobblestones. Sevens sobs subsided more quickly this time, she blinked away her tears, studying Kathryn's profile, caught up in her beauty even now.
"I can't..." Kathryn began.
"You Won't!" Anger flaring inside of her, Seven felt her face flush red.
"God! I want you! I do" Kathryn croaked. "But..."
Seven would wait no longer, would hear no more excuses. She took Kathryn in her arms and kissed her cheek then her forehead, tilting her chin up she pressed her lips against the Captain's. All anger and sorrow suddenly disappeared. A small sound escaped the Captain's throat as she pulled Seven to her, deepening their kiss. For several long exquisite minutes theirs lips and tongues danced together. They paused only when the Captain gasped for air, then they continued; their hands and bodies quickly copying their mouths explorations. Seven lifted her beloved Captain up and sat her in an alcove which should have held a statue of some local deity. With their faces level, Kathryn rested her head on Seven's shoulder, tears once again falling. Soon she was sobbing into Seven's chest her arms and legs wrapped around her, holding on desperately.
"I'm scared ,Seven." She finally managed.
"You have nothing to fear Kathryn, while you are in my arms nothing can hurt you, except of course, yourself." Seven kissed Kathryn's hair.
"But, out here, what if ... something happened to you or to me, it would be too much Seven!"
"Would the pain be any less? I think not. It would likely be more painful knowing we loved each other and never shared it, in that case. Don't you agree?"
Kathryn looked up at her in the moonlight and saw the clear purity of Seven's love sparkling in her vibrant blue eyes. She pulled the former Borg into another kiss, wrapping herself even tighter around Seven's frame, spreading her knees wide, the hot core of her desire pressed tightly against Seven's hips. This time it was Seven who moaned. Her hands on Kathryn's buttocks pulling her even closer, before sliding up the Captain's back. The sensation of Seven's hands up her spine made Kathryn pleasantly drunk. The mere thought of those same hands sliding over her, possessing every millimetre of her body was enough to make her cry out with desire.
Dozens of thoughts raced through Seven's mind. She wanted to tell Kathryn that she would share her sorrows as willingly as she'd share her happiness, that she could not remember a time when she did not love her, and many ideas concerning how she could demonstrate her love for the Captain. Kathryn had however, completely occupied her lips with a long passionate kiss and her fingers traced a ten-fold trail of ecstasy over Seven's bare back. Seven decided to act on some of her ideas and began pulling the Captain's blouse up, sliding her hands up her ribs, thumbs brushing Kathryn's taut nipples. Her auburn haired Goddess moaned in response.
"Not ... not here Seven." Kathryn managed between kisses.
"Agreed ... this location is ... insufficient." Seven eased the Captain down from the alcove, Kathryn took the opportunity to pepper Seven's throat with small bites and kisses. "Shall we return to your Villa or go to your quarters, Kathryn ?"
"Quarters Definately." Kathryn laughed for a moment then she sobered looking up into Seven's eyes, "I love hearing you say my name Seven." Suddenly overcome with emotion She rested her head against the younger woman's chest. Tears of joy slowly escaping her eyes.
"Kathryn? Why are you crying? Are you damaged?"
"No Seven, I'm ,,, I've haven't felt this way since ... I've never felt like this before Seven.
I've never wanted anyone like this, I think about you all the time, I've dreamt of holding you like this..." Kathryn grinned her half grin. The grin that Seven had come to look forward to seeing.
A full grin parted Seven's lips as she stared down at her love.
"I have never felt this way either, Kathryn."
New tears welled up in Kathryn's eyes, she reached up to cup Seven's beautiful face.
"I love you, Seven of Nine. I'm so sorry it took me so long to admit it, but I can't deny it anymore, darling. You took part of my heart that first day in the brig." Now Seven's eyes were wet.
"Oh, Kathryn."
They continued kissing for some time. Expressing every hidden thought, every smothered desire with their lips, their hands, and their bodies. Eventually they stopped and turned toward the main street hand in hand. Kathryn paused just before they exit the shadows.
" I don't know how we're going to deal with this Seven, but we have to find a way, fear is no longer an issue, I'm not giving you up Seven." Kathryn held her hand tight and stared out at the crowd.
"We will adapt." Seven stated reassuringly.
"We won't be the only one's" Kathryn's patented half grin returned as she slowly shook her head.
"The other members of Voyager's crew will also adapt. They have no choice, I've no intention of letting you go now." Seven raised her eyebrow and ocular implant imperiously. Janeway couldn't help but smile.