I woke up to a very uncomfortable itch. The stitches on my hands were crying out to be scratched and the bandages were loosened to the point of almost falling off. They had been soaked from giving Nika the sponge bath and I had fallen asleep without changing them, I’d have to cut them off, they were completely useless now. I could tell by the dull pinkish light seeping through sheer curtains that it was still quite early, just after dawn.

Nika was still sleeping soundly with her hand resting on my hip. I felt a tickle of arousal thinking about our nocturnal activities, I shifted gently away from her to avoid the urge to wake her and make love again. I stood up and pulled on my robe taking a long moment to appreciate Nika’s beauty as she slept. She loves me. She loves me. She loves me! Grinning to myself I walked to the ensuite and searched the drawers for some scissors. I dropped the stained gauze in the garbage and inspected the stitches. It was clear I wouldn’t have a full range of motion for a while but I wasn’t willing to keep my hands wrapped up like a prizefighter.

Downstairs I flicked through the security channels; the supervisor’s car was in the driveway he was chatting to one of the guards and holding two take-out coffees. On another camera the other guard was walking towards them from the backyard. I turned off the TV and made some coffee of my own. Steaming cup and toasted English muffin in hand I went to my study to enjoy the quiet and do a little research.  Shelley’s professional life had had several ups and downs. Reading through her bio I read between the lines and figured out how old she would have been when Nika first met her and then left her and then… I sighed with frustration; this really wasn’t getting me anywhere. I Googled information on stalking and mental illness; It wasn’t very encouraging:

>>>Stalking as a Mental Illness is known as ‘Erotomania’…

Erotomania is a rare disorder in which a person holds a delusional belief that another person, usually of a higher social status, is in love with them.

>>>The sufferer may also believe that the subject of their delusion secretly communicates their love by subtle methods such as body posture, arrangement of household objects and other seemingly innocuous acts.

>>>Erotomania has been cited as one cause for stalking or harassment campaigns. The assassination attempt of Ronald Reagan …

A soft sigh alerted me that I was no longer alone; Nika was leaning in the doorway looking gorgeously disheveled. I couldn’t help but smile at her.

“Good morning Love.” I said turning towards her.

“What ya doing?” she managed to say before she yawned.

“Did you get enough sleep?” She nodded yes, yawning and covering her mouth while ambling over to next to me.

“Research.” I said swiveling the chair sideways.  I had to squeeze my knees together as she moved to straddle me. She carefully climbed onto my lap, her knees on either side of me wedged between the thick leather armrests and my thighs. “Nika!” I moaned as she leaned down to kiss me. She tasted like mouthwash and honey. Her hands were in my hair as we deepened the kiss. When she finally released me I was dizzy with arousal.

“I love you.” She said with a sexy grin. I grinned in response.

“I love you, Darling.” She kissed me again quickly and then wrapped me in a hug.

“I love saying that.”

“ditto, and I certainly love hearing it!”

“Mmmmhmmm, so what were you doing?”

“Research on stalking…” I said quietly. She glanced at the screen pursing her lips. I watched her read the page I had been reading. The adorable sleepy haze soon disappeared as her eyes quickly scanned. The muscles in her jaw flexed as anger began colouring her face.  I reached up and gently turned her attention back to me, “why don’t we have a little breakfast, darling.”

“Ok.” She said standing up quickly and pulling away. I jumped up and caught her hand; she rewarded me with a shy smile. We wandered to the kitchen hand in hand sharing quick kisses and long looks.

“I meant what I said last night.  You’re not alone in this anymore.”

“I know, I know.” She stopped next to the counter and pulled me into a gentle hug. “We deserve to be happy.” I pressed my cheek against her shoulder and breathed in the scent of her, nodding my head and murmuring my agreement.

“Feel like waffles?” I asked when she eventually let me go.

“I love them! But I thought you said you weren’t much of a cook?”

“I can operate a toaster.” I said haughtily, opening the freezer.

“Oh, those kind of waffles.” She teased. “I thought you meant real ones.”

“I could just let you fend for yourself.” I said.  Pretending to be annoyed I turned my back and poured another cup of coffee. Nika walked up behind me and wrapped her arms around me again, letting her hands explore.

“I’m sure they’ll be perfect, just like you … beautiful.”

“Mmhmm, you think I’ll fall for your sweet talk?” I chuckled and then gasped as her fingers brushed over my nipples and her hips pressed into my behind. She nibbled little kisses up the side of my neck.

“You mean it’s not working?” she asked innocently.

“Perhaps…” I tipped my head to give her easier access and she eagerly took advantage.

“Thanks again for that … incredible … sponge bath … last night.”

“Mmm, you’re welcome. I love it when you punctuate with kisses, darling.”

“Good. But I prefer those moments when I can say it all with a kiss.”

“You are such a cheeseball!” I laughed and turned around in her arms.

“Yeah but you love it don’t you!” I nodded and grinned before pulling her in for another delightfully long kiss.

Nika set the table and found the syrup while I toasted the waffles. We decided to eat out on the terrace.  The sun was just peeking over the trees, the sky was cloudless blue and the resident birds and squirrels were chatting up a storm.

“It’s so lovely out here.” Nika said enjoying the view.

“Yes, quite lovely.” I said looking only at her. She noticed and held my gaze. “I’m going to miss it.” I said glancing away from her.

“What do you mean?” Nika turned in her chair so she was facing me across the small glass table. “You’re moving?”

“I really think I should, I mean it’s a ridiculous amount of space for one person… or even two people.” Her expression softened, but she still looked concerned.

“I suppose we really should figure out what we’re going to do … about that.” She chewed on her lower lip a little, a sure sign of her unease. She looked down at the last piece of waffle as she swirled it around the plate gathering syrup.

“Darling, I know this is all a bit sudden, but I really want you with me.” I reached over and touched her left hand. “I love being with you.” She looked up. “But I don’t want to pressure you into anything either.”

“I appreciate that, Kathryn.” She looked down at our joined hands. “I love being with you too. It’s just that … the only person I’ve lived with was Shelley, and that was so messed up.” I looked into her eyes and tried to communicate everything I felt for her; knowing that right now I needed to just let her speak without interrupting. “I know this is different, you’re different, but I’m afraid that I haven’t changed enough, that somehow I’ll screw it all up.” She was quiet for a moment looking out at the trees and idly rubbing my hand. “I’m just scared, scared of losing my independence, scared of losing myself. I was so lost for so long Kathryn. Its scary how much I just want to hide away from the world sometimes; when I’m here with you it’s so easy to pretend that my past is just the past and that all I need is to be here in your arms and everything will be alright.”

There were unshed tears blurring her eyes. I got up and quickly strode around the table and knelt in front of her. I reached up and brushed her tears away with my thumbs. She pulled me onto her lap and buried her face in my chest. Her breath caught from fighting off more tears.

“It will be darling, it will be alright, and we’ll figure this out together.” She held me tight and sighed heavily. I kissed her hair and held her. She pulled back looking embarrassed.

“I’m sorry.” I shook my head at her and pressed my finger against her lips.

“Don’t be,” I kissed her softly, tilting my head and sliding our lips barely apart. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” I slowly traced my tongue along the inside edge of her open lips, “We’re not hiding.” I kissed her fully, letting my body flow against hers like our lips were. When I pulled away I held her face between my hands and gazed down into her eyes, which had turned an icy blue from her tears. “Nika, I want to share your life, not control it. I’ll support your decisions, respect you, I’m sure we’ll have some differences darling but I’ll never – ever undermine your independence.” A tear coursed down her cheek. “And as for hiding,” I brushed her hair away from her eyes, “I just don’t want to share you with anyone right now, I can’t get enough of you darling, I think that’s a normal response for two people so in love.” She nodded and pulled me into another hug. I held her close and dipped my head to kiss the part in her hair. We stayed that way for several minutes; I looked up at the view of the downtown skyline mostly obscured by the trees. “Darling, I have an idea!” I said eagerly. I stood up and pulled her with me. She regarded me with a shy smile.

“What’s your idea?” she murmured.

“See that office tower with the big green ‘M’?”

“Uu’huh yeah?”

“Well before that, in the foreground, just barely visible there’s a white building with curved balconies.” Nika had moved behind me and wrapped her arms round my waist. She stretched her left arm in front of us and pointed.

“That one there?” I wrapped my right arm around hers and leaned against her trying to get the same angle.

“No, the shorter one, hardly see it, just above the edge of the trees.”

“Yes, I see it now.” I turned in her arms and grinned at her.

“Well?”

“Well what?” she quirked her eyebrows at me.

“Well I own the building and there are a few empty suites.”

“Uh-huh? So …”

“So we could stay there while I organize selling this place and until, you know, this mess with WhatsHerName is settled and then we can go from there.”

“Go where from there?” I could hear the smile in her voice.

“Where-ever we want my love.” I leaned in to kiss her. Just then the doorbell clanged. “Dammit, I guess I should check that.” She was still smirking at me. “What?”

“I guess I’m still not used to dating a billionaire.” She quipped.

“Nika, darling, I’m hardly a billionaire; sorry to disappoint you, extremely well off yes, but by no means a billionaire.” I said turning to go inside.

Kathryn waves her index finger in the air to emphasize her point as she walks into the kitchen, her robe billowing.  I glance around the huge yard with its long lap pool and concrete terrace thinking how this is so much more than what most people would call ‘well-off’, but none of that matters to me. All that matters is that Kathryn loves me – for me, and I love her, for who she is regardless of money. Kathryn returns a few minutes later carrying the coffee pot.  She silently offers me more after refilling her cup.

“No-thanks, I can’t take too much of the stuff…”

“Have you no vices at all?” Kathryn says in mock dismay.

“Only one.” I say watching her relax into her chair, enjoying how the slick fabric slides to expose her legs.

“Really, just one?”

“Mmhmmm.” I say smiling at her.

“So is it a secret?” she asks, her voice low and flirty.

“Surely you know.”

“No, I’m completely baffled.” She smirks at me, and I can barely resist the playfulness in her blue-grey eyes, I envy the cool breeze that toys with her hair.

“Perhaps I’d rather not say…” I try to make her wait.

“Well if you’re too shy…” She takes a long sip of coffee.

“Oh yeah, that’s me, I’m especially shy with sexy executives.”

“Mmm, particularly when they can’t keep their hands off you.”

We grin at each other, and enjoy the buzz of new love.

“Who was at the door?” I remember the thought I had before I got distracted.

“Just security.” She glances away from me for a moment and once again I’m struck by how utterly beautiful she is, utterly unreadable as well.  “You know living downtown might actually be safer, what I mean is, that building I’m thinking of, it’s extremely secure.” Her eyes meet mine again.

“Is everything alright?” I try to find an explanation for her sudden shift in mood.  “Did security? …” she cuts off my question with a small hand gesture.

“No, darling, nothing’s wrong … I think that … well, perhaps with everything that’s happened since we met …” She glances back out at the trees and distant skyline. I feel a swell of sudden turmoil in my stomach.  Images cascade through my mind: Kathryn in the concrete alcove pulling me to her lips, Kathryn acting wobbly after watching the sunset and making out on the hood of her car, Kathryn’s eyes going dark with desire, her voice vibrating my ear, her scent everywhere. Blood on her beautifully hands, fear in her eyes, disgust twisting her lovely lips. I feel faint. Kathryn’s voice reaches me and pulls me back.

“What was it you wanted to say?” I take a sip. It’s tepid.

“Since I’ve met you … more and more I feel … trapped.” Horror and confusion must show on my face. “Not by you darling, Gods no! Darling, not by you! I feel stuck; stuck in the neatly compartmentalized artifice of my life.  Honestly, all the trappings of my position… all this stuff! I just want it all gone, I look around at all these things I have and I don’t see myself in them … I just want less of this … stuff…and more … life…I’m not making any sense am I?”

Still recovering from internal anguish all I can manage for a few moments is a tilt of my head and a thoughtful look, and then I manage to speak. I stare at her knee bouncing with agitation; I’ve never seen her quite like this before.

“Well I suppose I can understand that, since you’ve hardly been able to live your own life.” I glance up to see her purse her lips and look away. She seems to be fighting off tears. I want to go to her, comfort her, but something holds me back.  

“Work.” She says bitterly. “Work and almighty duty! Sometimes it feels like that’s all I’ve got, duty to a man who couldn’t even accept me as I am.” She gets up and storms to the balustrade her shoulders hunch a little as her knuckles go white. I go to her, repressing the urge to embrace her. Instead I silently watch her proud profile as she swipes at her tears. “My whole life Nika, protecting his company, his good name, putting my life permanently on hold; Goddamit I even inherited his friends! I can’t do it any more; I don’t want to care about any of that anymore.  Darling, when I look at you I see the life I’ve been missing, the life I want.” I can’t stop myself; I wrap her up in my arms. She shudders with silent tears and curls into my embrace. After only a few moments she tries to pull away saying “I hate to cry.” I don’t let her go completely; I want to look into her eyes.

“Sometimes cryin’ is the only way to get the dust out of your eyes… at least that’s what Granma, said. Help the pain on its way.” She smiles up at me and wipes a tear I hadn’t been aware of off my cheek.

“Thank you.”

“hmmm?”

“Thank you for listening.”

“Any time, my love, it’s my job.”

“Well, you’re good at it.” The fear and turmoil dissipate as Kathryn looks up at me with devotion. “Speaking of work Darling, you never really told me what your boss said.”

“Stan was pretty understanding actually, offered me a job as dispatch until I’m feeling better.” Kathryn lets her fingertips explore my neck and jaw.

“Would you like that?” She asks before resting her head on my chest.

“It’d be ok for a while I suppose. Eventually I’ll have to figure out what I really want to do when I grow up.” She pulls back and looks up at me.

“Oh don’t do that darling, “growing up” is so over-rated.” She smirks.

“Really?” I make the disbelief obvious in my expression, “from where I’m standing ‘grown-up’ looks pretty attractive to me.” I smile.

“Is that some sort of crack about my age?” She’s doing the mock drama-queen angry face, a sure sign that her anguish has passed and her playfulness returned. This time all I can manage is to laugh in response and pull her a little closer. “Sure, that’s it ignore me! You don’t take me at all seriously, do you?” she jokes while snuggling into my embrace.

“I love you, you madwoman.” I say, Kathryn lets out a quiet laugh. Ripples of contentment vibrate through me. I shift us around so my back is against the balustrade, encourage her to kiss me.  Our kisses are improving, we are moving past fervent to luxuriating; each tilt and slide brings delight.  Arousal creeps over me. I can feel my nipples harden, goose bumps spread, an insistent throbbing begins between my legs, but all that matters are Kathryn’s lips. The taste of her, the silk of her hair through my fingers, the smell of her desire, it’s perfect and I want it to stay like this, somehow kissing like this, always. Her fingertips tease the bottom edge of my white tank-top and trail desire over my hips. The belt of her robe has come loose and I use the edges to pull her closer. Her hands slide up my sides pushing up my top. Our lips and tongues dive and press.

I can feel the heat from her as she slides up my thigh. Both my hands end up on her behind making her moan which is what I wanted.  Her hands are on my nipples and my core aches.  Kathryn is rippling against me; sensations shudder through me, her tiny cries and gasps are making me incredibly wet. She has pushed my top right up over my breasts and dips her head to torture me with her lips and teeth. One of her hands slips past the waistband of my pajamas and into the tangled wet heat of my bush. She barely touches me and I’m shaking. A single fingertip of pressure moving over and around me and I’m breathing hard, wanting more. My body tingles everywhere, excitement building towards release.

Kathryn’s tongue presses into my mouth and suddenly I’m exploding, gasping for air, hips following her fingers in every direction. Cool air on my nipples, I open my eyes to see Kathryn kneel down in front of me. A strong spike of arousal makes me lose my balance for a moment and then her mouth is on me and I feel pinned against the stone railing. My hips follow the slow plunging movements of her head then she slides into me and all I can focus on is her intensity and what it’s doing to me. My hands grip the rough concrete behind me as Kathryn pushes me closer and closer to bliss. She starts to hum against me and I fear I might collapse. She leans her head back and looks up at me hand still plunging rhythmically.

“I’m sorry Nika, we have to stop.”

“wha…?” I look down at her confused.

“The doorbell, darling, it’s been ringing for a few minutes.”

“Fuck!”

“Indeed!” she says slowly sliding out of me as she stands up. “I’m so fucking wet right now.” She whispers before kissing me. The spice on her lips sets me throbbing again. “I’m sorry.” She pulls my top back into place and rewraps her robe before storming back into the house. I quickly collect my scattered thoughts and follow her. She’s at the kitchen sink drying her face with a dishtowel. The bell clangs again. “Just a minute!” she yells; rolling her eyes at me. I follow her to the living room and slowly walk up the stairs as she checks the camera view. It’s Detective Jeffries.

“I’m going to get dressed.”  I say. She looks at me and nods.

I can hear the murmur of their voices as I come back down the stairs feeling refreshed but still a little frustrated. Kathryn is sitting at the far side of the sofa and the Detective is looking uncomfortable in the overstuffed armchair opposite her. Kathryn holds out her hand when I arrive, silently requesting I sit close to her. I get comfortable with my right arm around her shoulders and let her hold my left hand in her lap. Her stitches scratch against my palm and I feel guilty. Sitting this close I can smell a trace of her arousal but I try to ignore it. Jeffries looks a little flushed and I wonder what she’s thinking, sitting there observing our closeness. She clears her throat.

“Miss Raven, good to see you again.” She tries for sincere but doesn’t quite succeed. I nod, and get straight to the point.

“Do you have some news?” She looks relieved.

“Yes, as you know we’ve processed your apartment, you can go back whenever you’re … ready. And we found lots of evidence to link Miss Snyder to the crime.” I nod having heard all of this before. “Yesterday, she managed to escape custody, but she was apprehended quickly, on behalf of the Police service I would like to apologize for any … anxiety, that may have caused.” Jeffries glances at Kathryn who looks angry. “In the process she assaulted an officer so really all she did was add a few years to her sentence.”

“You seem pretty confident that she’ll be convicted.” Kathryn said. I’m glad she spoke up because I can’t think of anything but Shelley wanting to hurt Kathryn and repressing the anger surging through me.

“She didn’t even try to cover it up. We have a witness placing her at the scene.” Jeffries stops speaking and glances back and forth between myself and Kathryn. “Please let us know where you will be staying so we can keep in touch.”

She stands up and there is an awkward silence before Kathryn and I get to our feet. “I’ll see myself out.” She quickly shakes Kathryn’s hand then mine. “Again, sorry for the distress.” She squeezes a little too tightly then quickly turns to go.

Kathryn takes both my hands and looks into my eyes, filling me with love and reassurance.

“I don’t want to go back there.” I say quietly.

“You don’t have to.” She reaches up and caresses my face. “What say I get dressed and we go look at that condominium?” I nod yes to her shy smile.

“I’ll only be a moment darling.” She quickly kisses my fingers and drops my hand. I watch Jeffries on the silent TV talking to the guards and then driving away. There is something I don’t trust about that woman and I don’t know why.

We drive in silence with the top down. Kathryn looks relaxed and contained wearing dark sunglasses. The resident manager of the building meets us at the door and takes us up to the first apartment.  It’s beautiful, bright, with hardwood floors and an open kitchen and living area. The bathroom is huge and the bedroom looks onto the same broad balcony as the living room.

“Well? What do you think?” Kathryn asks walking up behind me as I look out at the view.

“It’s gorgeous, what kind of wood is this?” I look down at the floor.

“Bamboo,” says the manager walking into the room. “Here are the keys to the other two suites Ma’am, if you don’t mind I’ll leave you to it.” She says handing Kathryn a bundle of keys.

“Of course.” Kathryn says absently. The woman’s footsteps echo away from us. I feel a sudden dread and lightheadedness. I walk away from Kathryn and pretend to size up the built in bookshelves at the back of the room.

“Take a look at this darling.” Kathryn pushes one edge and the shelves spin sideways. I laugh with surprise. Behind the shelves is a walk in closet.

“Why is there a sink in here?” I ask looking around.

“It’s a panic room.” Kathryn says. I make a face at her. “Trust me, darling it’s one of the most popular features for upscale homes.

“It’s kind of creepy.” I say. Kathryn just raises her eyebrows a little and shrugs.

“Just think of it as a walk-in closet then.”

“mmmhmmm. Are the other two pretty much the same?”

“Almost, one of them has two bedrooms … do you want to go take a look?”    I nod yes and follow her out of the secret room.  The hairs on the back of my neck relax once we’re in the elevator.

Three storey’s higher makes all the difference. The two bedroom unit has a much better view. I’m drawn to the sunlight pouring in through the living room from the balcony. It stretches along the west side of the building then curves around the corner connecting to the bedroom balcony on the north side.

I lean into the breeze at the corner and Kathryn comes up behind me to slide her arms around me.

“So what do you think? Like it?” She leans sideways to look at me. I half turn to meet her eyes.

“I’d say I love it!” She shares my grin.

“But you haven’t even seen the bedroom…”

“It gets better?” I let her lead me back inside across an expanse of bamboo and along a short hall. The bedroom is huge, certainly twice the size of my studio apartment with several floor to ceiling windows on each side of the balcony door. “Wow! … I guess we’ll have to invest in a lot of curtains…

“Minor detail darling” Kathryn crosses her arms and glances around looking somehow uncertain, “do you think you could be happy here?” she says shyly, her voice betraying a nervousness she rarely shows. I close the distance between us and take her in my arms.

“Of course we can.” I say pressing my cheek against hers and revelling in the feeling of her holding me, tight.