Poetics 4




Seven looked into Kathryn's blue-grey eyes and saw confusion and fear. She noticed the flush on her cheeks and felt the heat and throb of Kathryn's rapid pulse.

“You are frightened.” Seven stated. Kathryn's eyes searched the ready room before returning Seven's gaze.

“Yes, I don't know why, but – well I'm feeling lots of intense emotions lately.” Kathryn looked at her apologetically.

“As am I, Kathryn, intense – overwhelming emotions.” Seven felt her own skin flush, and wonder bloomed in Kathryn's expression. The Captain reached up to stroke Seven's cheek. The young woman's flesh came alive at the touch, she gasped and a shudder of what could only be desire shook through her.

“You are so beautiful.” Kathryn said quietly. Seven swallowed nervously.

“You are beautiful, Kathryn, I am ... Borg.” She dropped her eyes. Kathryn's hands gently lifted her chin so they could look each other in the eye.

“You were Borg, part of you will always be Borg, but believe me Seven, you are definitely beautiful.” Kathryn said this with conviction but her expression had changed. She looked sad and suddenly distant, on the verge of tears.

“Kathryn?” Seven again reached out to touch Kathryn's cheek just as the first tears fell. “I have upset you.” Seven shivered at the feel of Kathryn's skin. Kathryn shook her head and smirked sadly.

“No you haven't, you've made me happy, Seven, happier than – than I have any right to be.”

“Kathryn, that statement is illogical. Why would you have to be worthy of an emotion; you feel it or you do not, is that not a basic truth of humanity?” Seven was aware that she had straightened up and inadvertently pulled away from Kathryn's hands, so she gently grabbed them and pulled Kathryn towards her. Kathryn's eyes were brimming with tears as she looked up at her. Seven pulled her closer still and Kathryn was quickly enveloped in her warm embrace. Her body was tense but her arms found their way around Seven’s waist. Seven turned to whisper into her ear. “I would like to be a source of happiness for you, Kathryn. I want happiness too, and joy, and desire.” Seven pulled back and looked into Kathryn's now intensely blue eyes. “I want to experience such emotions with you.” Seven felt Kathryn relax in her arms and took the opportunity to kiss her. Shocked at the sensation, Seven found herself closing her eyes to focus on the feel of Kathryn’s lips against her own, the gasp of their breath, the half whimper from Kathryn's throat. Suddenly Kathryn's hands were in Seven's hair pulling her closer pressing their lips ever more tightly together. Seven followed her impulse to open her mouth and was rewarded with a sensuous groan from Kathryn and then a gentle swipe of Kathryn's tongue near her teeth. Seven already felt that her Borg systems were about to overload but she returned the caress with her own tongue. An immediate rush of electricity passed between them and Seven felt she might lose consciousness yet she wanted more; more of Kathryn's lips, her skin and the intense emotions she created. Her hands slid and caressed every inch of Kathryn she had access to, she could feel Kathryn's pulse quicken and felt their bodies throbbing with precisely matched rhythm. Kathryn violently pulled away and stood up, she stumbled a step back from the sofa, leaving Seven bleary and bereft.

“Heavens, Seven! We have to stop. We're on duty, we – we can't go any further, not here, not right now.” Kathryn's hair was mussed and her chest was heaving, she looked half wild and Seven wondered if she could be any more beautiful. Seven resumed her normal sitting position and attempted to control her breathing.

“Kathryn, please sit down.” She smiled slightly at the irony of her making the Captain's usual request. Kathryn slowly sat down quite surprised at her own behaviour. She ran her fingers through her hair, certain that it was disarrayed. “You look even lovelier.” Seven said smiling gently feeling overwhelmed with contentment.

“You might want to fix your hair as well.” Kathryn said.

“You wish to hide the evidence of our activities.” Seven looked severe.

“Well, for now, I think it would be best, that doesn't mean I regret or-” Kathryn was stopped short by the sight of Seven grinning and covering her mouth with her hand to try to hide it.

“Kathryn, you are so nervous, it is ... adorable.” Seven smiled. Kathryn blushed.

“You! Oh you're going to be trouble.” Kathryn said it with affection.

“Having been no trouble at all thus far.” Seven joked.

“No, none at all.” Kathryn half laughed, then caught her breath as Seven let down her hair, quickly swirled it in her hands and twisted it back into place.

“Am I acceptable?” Seven asked. Kathryn could only grin and nod. “I should return to my duties, Kathryn, may I – request your company for dinner this evening?”

“Yes, oh – no, I already have dinner plans. I'm sorry, tomorrow?”

“Acceptable.” Seven said standing up. “I anticipate enjoying your company.”

Kathryn cleared her throat and stood up but Seven was already turning on her heel to go.

“Seven,” She half turned and Kathryn was struck by her beauty and grace. “I'm looking forward to it as well.” Seven nodded slightly and strode confidently out the door.

Gathering her thoughts Kathryn paced the room and continued to smooth out her hair. She was berating herself for her lack of control as the entry chime bleeped. “Come.” She walked behind her desk and sat down, looking up at Tuvok's calm gaze.

“My weekly reports are complete, Captain.” He offered her a padd.

“Thank you, Tuvok.” She replied. Her chief of security continued to scrutinize her. “Is there something else?”

“Are you alright Captain?” He asked with the slightest pursing of his lips.

“Excellent Tuvok, why do you ask?”

“Your communicator is askew, your hair is in disarray and you are missing a pip.”

Kathryn's hand shot to her throat, she rolled her eyes and her faced blushed quite red. She shielded her eyes with one slender hand for a moment to muster the courage to look up.

“Thank you for bringing that to my attention, Commander,” she said chagrined, “I assure you I'm quite alright.” Kathryn saw a twinkle of entertainment in the Vulcan's eyes.

“Unless you need further assistance I shall return to my duties.” Kathryn nodded her ascent and he left. She put her head in her hands and laughed silently at her predicament.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before Seven stepped out of the Turbolift her nanoprobes had suppressed 97% of the sensations brought on by her activities with Kathryn. Seven felt another slight surge of arousal which was systematically repressed by her Borg physiology. This situation was unacceptable. How could she pursue a relationship with Kathryn if her own body fought off her response? Seven stopped and retraced her steps, tapping her communicator as she did to alert Tal Celes that she would be further delayed.

The Doctor was in his small office listening to Puccini at maximum volume so he did not hear her arrive.

“Computer pause playback.” Seven said.

“What the – Oh, Seven Hello. What brings you to sickbay?”

“I have a request of a personal and confidential nature.” the Doctor's eyebrows betrayed his curiousity, and a somewhat eager smile expanded across his face. Remarkably he did not speak so Seven continued. “Lately I have been experiencing problems with my nanoprobes,” the Doctor indicated she should move to a biobed and she quickly complied.

“Are they malfunctioning?” he asked reaching for a tricorder.

“No, they are functioning precisely as the Borg intended, which is the problem.” He waited for her to continue, “They inhibit my ability to experience certain sensations, which I would very much like to experience.”

“Sensations? Could you be more specific Seven, hearing – smell?”

“Sexual sensation, arousal and so on.” Seven said quietly. The Doctor's demeanor transformed; he looked at her with shock which became something more like curiousity. “I require complete confidentiality Doctor.”

“Of course, Seven, of course! How could you think otherwise?” Seven regarded him silently, “shall we start with a few diagnostics?”

“Acceptable.”



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kathryn sat across from her First Officer their empty dinnerware crowding the table between them. She realized she had no idea what he was talking about, it wasn't the first time this evening that had happened, she simply could not focus, her mind and body kept betraying her with thoughts and sensations from her all too brief encounter with Seven.

“Kathryn, You’re light-years away.” Chakotay smiled and she did too.

“Sorry, you're right, I haven't been very good company.” He gestured in response to show it didn't matter.

“Want to talk about it? You know I'm always here.” He smiled his most charming smile, but Kathryn had been immune to it for quite a long time.

“Thank you, I think I should call it a night.” Kathryn stood up and Chakotay followed her to the door. “Dinner was lovely as always.”

“Thank you, next time it's your turn.” He said. Kathryn glanced over her shoulder at him as she left his quarters and smiled. She was eager to send Seven a message. The perfect lines had just come into her head.

As soon as she arrived at her quarters Kathryn sat down to search for the poem, it was called “Words to my Friend” by Renee Vivien. On impulse she sent the first three stanza's to Seven, with a few clues to her inner turmoil.

Understand me: I am a mediocre being,

Not good, not very bad, peaceful, a bit cunning.

I detest heavy perfume and shrill voices,

And gray is more dear to me than scarlet or ocher.



I love the dying day which grows dim by degrees,

A fire, the cloistered intimacy of a room

where the lamps, veiling their amber transparencies,

Redden the antique bronze and turn the gray stoneware blue,



My eyes drop to the carpet smoother than sand,

Indolently I evoke rivers flecked with gold

Where the clarity of the beautiful past still floats . . .

And nevertheless, I am quite guilty.

K



Seven was working at her console in Cargo Bay 2 and immediately noticed the message from Kathryn. Her heart accelerated at the single initial. She wondered what Kathryn was trying to tell her with this poem. Mediocre? Kathryn was many things but certainly not mediocre. She looked up the first line of the poem – it was not underlined or emphasized as Kathryn had sent it. It was also several stanza's longer. Seven pondered the meaning of the underlined phrases. She decided to respond in kind with the next three stanza's.



You see: I am at the age when a maiden gives her hand

To the man whom her weakness searches and dreads,

And I have not chosen a companion for the road,

Because you appeared at that turn in the road.



The hyacinth was bleeding on the red hills,

You were dreaming and Eros walked at your side . . .

I am woman, I have no right to beauty.

I had been condemned to masculine ugliness.



And I had the inexcusable audacity of wanting

Sisterly love fashioned with soft whiteness,

The furtive step that didn't trample the fern

And the sweet voice that comes to ally itself with evening



She reread the words she had underlined and smiled. Then she decided to add;

Understand me,

7



Kathryn changed out of her uniform and walked out of her bedroom to indulge in a nightcap. The message icon blinked on her console. Such a quick response! She forced herself to replicate a glass of scotch – neat, before settling down to read. Seven had clearly recognized what she had been trying to say. She had sent her own set of clues which were far more direct than Kathryn's had been. I have chosen you ... Kathryn swallowed passed the growing lump in her throat and stared lovingly at the single digit at the close of the message. She wanted Seven so, she had for quite some time, but she still had concerns about the crew’s response, regulations, and damnable duty. Perhaps the next section of the poem could help explain.



They have forbidden me your hair, the look in your eyes,

It seems that your hair is long and full of odors

And it seems your eyes reveal strange longings

And grow agitated like rebellious waves.



They have pointed at me with irritated gestures,

Because my eyes searched out your tender look . . .

And seeing us go by, no one wanted to understand

That I had simply chosen you.



Consider the vile law that I transgress

And judge my love that knows nothing of evil,

As candid, as necessary and fatal

As the desire that joins lover to mistress.

K.



Seven avoided regenerating just in case Kathryn sent a response. When it arrived containing three more stanza's highlighting her Captains fears and doubts, Seven became agitated. Kathryn was worried about Starfleet regulations and what the crew might think of their relationship. Seven paced back and forth formulating a response; she was having trouble controlling her irritation, which only made her more irritated. She stopped pacing a realized the modified nanoprobe therapy was working; her emotions and their affiliated sensations were taking control. She took a moment to enjoy the flush of anger warming her cheeks and became aware that she was tightly clenching her jaw and her fists. She smiled with relief – knowing this would soon lead to so much more. She decided to let some of her emotions show.



Kathryn,

I know I have been agitating and rebellious, I know many people on board do not appreciate my presence, I know that your life is ruled by Starfleet regulation; but you are guilty of nothing evil, no transgressions. You have faced down many demons – do not fear your own people who love, and respect you. I also know that your 'heart' has already chosen.





They didn't read in my eyes how clearly I saw

The road where my destiny leads me,

And they have said: “Who is this damned woman

Who gnaws blindly at the flames of hell?”



Leave them to the concern of their impure morality,

and let us imagine that dawn has the blondness of honey,

That days without spite and nights without malice

Come, such as lovers whose goodness reassures. . .



We will go to see the clear stars on the mountains. . .

What matters to us, the judgment of men?

And what have we to doubt, since we are

Pure before life and since we love one another?. . .