Songfic Story:

As the laughter died from another boisterous toast Kathryn Janeway’s eyes were drawn to the door of the club. Whiskey burned down her throat and her eyes were stinging, not from the alcohol but from the vision before her. Seven of Nine laughed as she and her brown-eyed escort playfully stumbled down the stairs. A cheer went up from the crewmen gathered near the bar. "Chakotay!" One or two still called out "Commander" Now that they were safely back on Earth, now that the Maquis had been cleared of any wrong-doing, and after several hours of receptions and celebrations the formalities of rank had diminished. Now that Chakotay’s marriage to Seven of Nine had effectively rescued her from Starfleet control, if not their suspicions, much of the young woman’s previous formality was beginning to slip away. Kathryn observed the couple moving through the crowd stopping to chat with several members of Voyagers crew. Well, Chakotay chatted, Seven smiled and nodded politely, often glancing around distractedly.

Kathryn slouched a little further down in the leather booth, hoping the happy couple wouldn’t notice her. She was wedged between Tal Celes and Admiral Alynna Necheyev. It had been Alynna’s idea to follow much of the crew to the after party at a dimly lit nightclub. Celes had come over to say a few words to her former Captain but before she could leave the very drunken trio of Tom, Harry and B’ Lanna had slid in beside the nervous young Ensign trapping her in the booth for much of the night. Alynna’s hand was toying with the hair on Kathryn’s neck, distracting her from what Herron, who had squeezed in next to Alynna, was droning on about. Alynna was making it very clear that she wanted to re-ignite the brief but passionate affair she and Kathryn had shared years ago, before Kathryn had even gained the rank of Captain. Right at this moment Kathryn was seriously considering it, she’d be an Admiral herself soon, and therefore would not have to worry about being involved with a higher-ranking officer. Kathryn turned to look at her former lover, studying her lovely profile, Alynna may be a bit older than she was but still damned attractive. Kathryn slid her right hand over the Admiral’s thigh hidden under the table, trying to picture her undressed. Alynna turned and gave her a quick smile, but truthfully Kathryn barely noticed. Whenever her mind turned in the direction of sex, love or even lust, one image blocked out all others, Seven of Nine. Her eyes were still following them. They had moved deeper into the crowd and Kathryn could only catch glimpses of Seven’s glowing hair, shimmering gown and wide eyes, which were still searching the crowd. She took another quick swig of scotch to keep from choking with jealousy. She slammed the glass down on the table, then let her left hand fall limp on the table. She’d had enough a long time ago she had to stop. Voyager’s former Captain looked down surprised as Celes took hold of her left hand. The young Bajoran was clearly intoxicated, she was cradling Kathryn’s hand between both of her own and holding it against the region of her heart. Kathryn was distracted momentarily by B’Lanna’s raised and waving hand. When she looked back at Celes the young woman was gazing at her with an expression of such devotion Kathryn had the urge to leap over the table, run away, and not look back. However she couldn’t do that to any of her crew, at the very least she had to hear her out, she owed her that much. She owed them all seven years of their lives.

"Captain, Sorry I know you said I could call you Kathryn but I don’t … I just … I have to tell you, that I really really appreciate everything you did for me on Voyager, even though I was a total screw up." Kathryn couldn’t let her go on, she moved her right hand from Alynna’s thigh and clasped Celes’ hands.

"That is simply not true Celes, you were a valued member of my crew, and I’m sure you always performed to the best of your abilities. No Captain can ask for more than that."

"But I just, I just wanted to be better … because, cause you’re so, so amazing and I just never felt like I was good enough to be on your crew." Kathryn was thankful that the noisy conversations around them made it almost impossible for anyone to overhear what Celes was saying to her.

"Celes, we got home safely, each and every one of us was a part of that!"

"Oh Captain!" Celes wrapped her arms around Janeway’s neck and kissed her cheek. All conversation had stopped at their table.

"Cripes, Celes just tell her you’re in love with her already!" Herron bellowed in to the sudden silence.

"It’s true!" Celes sobbed into Janeway’s chest. Kathryn looked up to see the happy couple standing there. Chakotay was smirking at her, peripherally she could see that Alynna had leaned forward, her hand sliding deeper into Kathryn’s hair, she was also smirking at the young woman sobbing into Kathryn’s chest "Someone’s had too much." The Admiral joked. Kathryn froze in Seven’s stare.

"Glad to see you’re keeping busy Kathryn." Chakotay chuckled. Kathryn made a face to communicate her chagrin at the whole situation. Harry handed Celes a tissue and Kathryn extracted herself from the Bajoran’s embrace, only to find herself settling back into the very possessive arm of Admiral Necheyev. She did not miss the tightening of Seven’s jaw or the narrowing of her pupils.

"Seven, Chakotay, good to see you." She lied convincingly. "Having a good time?"

"We’re doing alright." Chakotay stated looking at his wife for confirmation.

"Seven?" Kathryn watched Seven’s eyes dart from her to Alynna, to Alynna’s hand in her hair, to the hand still holding Celes’ on the table. She was clearly not pleased.

"I am well, Captain; though it has been a very long day, I only wished to say goodnight." She nodded at the crew gathered around the table. "Please enjoy the rest of your evening." She strode off. Chakotay chased after her, they spoke to each other for several moments then he returned alone.

"Room for one more?" He shrugged. Herron got up.

"I’ve had enough!" he said. "Well I’d say it’s been a pleasure Captain…"

He gave a half-assed salute and walked away. Kathryn’s glazed gaze seemed to follow him. She was actually watching Seven stride away, a long line of iridescence disappearing into the darkness.

"That guy’s a bigger jerk than the Delta quadrant." Harry mumbled. "he shouldn’t talk to you like that Captain."

"Don’t worry about it Harry, he’s just being himself." Kathryn smirked.

"So, Chakotay have you decided what’s next?" Tom asked him.

"We need another round of drinks!" B’Lanna announced before standing up, swaying slightly. "What’ll ya have Ch’kotay?"

"Honey why don’t you sit and we’ll wait for a waitress." Tom reached out for her.

Kathryn sighed and patted Celes’ hand before letting it go. She stared at the smudged black tabletop patterned with wet rings from various glasses. All she could think about was Seven of Nine, and the look of anger on the her beautiful face moments before. Alynna’s hand was sliding up and down the inside of her forearm sending tingles straight to her core. Kathryn wished it was Seven, she closed her eyes and reminded herself that was never going to happen. Conversation swirled around her as she contemplated her situation. Her Crew was home safely, the woman she loved was married to one of her best friends, and Alynna was practically undressing her at the table. Kathryn had to get out of there, had to get away from the sparkle in Chakotay’s eyes and the smirk on his lips when he looked at Alynna. Kathryn quickly downed the last of her Scotch and put both of her hands on the table.

"Well, folks I think I need to find my way back to the hotel." She said.

"It’s still early!" B’Lanna objected.

"An’ Chakotay just got here!" said Tom. Kathryn half stood and grabbed her jacket from where it was scrunched up.

"I’m sure the Commander and I will have the chance to see each other soon enough." Chakotay stood up so Alynna and Kathryn could maneuver out of the small booth.

"Celes would you like to share a cab back to the hotel?" Kathryn asked.

Tal Celes looked up bleary eyed and surprised.

"Oh, yes! Good Idea." She fumbled her way out of the booth. Chakotay gave Kathryn a hug, taking her by surprise. She returned it half-heartedly, feeling guilty about her lust for Seven. B’Lanna drunkenly bear-hugged her former Captain.

"Have a good night Captain." Kathryn’s response to the half-Klingon woman was genuine, holding her tight for a few long moments. She had grown to truly like the engineer’s personality and hoped they could remain friends. Harry and Tom had moved to spread out more comfortably. Harry tried to stand up and awkwardly reached over the wide table to shake the Captain’s hand.

"Stay in touch, Harry." Janeway murmured.

"Yes Ma’am " he grinned, before flopping back onto the leatherette bench.

"Captain." Tom gave her a salute. She smirked and chuckled returning it.

"Good-Night!" She smiled at them. Celes stumbled as they moved towards the door. Janeway put her arm around the young woman’s waist to assist her down the stairs to the dance-floor, which earned her a raised eyebrow from Alynna. Celes held on until they were up the main stairs and out the door. Holding up Celes, while Alynna flagged a hover-cab, Kathryn didn’t notice the tall, agitated, blonde pacing a mere 10 metre’s away.

Seven of Nine was furious, too many emotions cascaded through her: anger, jealousy, disgust, betrayal, loss, they were too much to assimilate all at once. She turned in her pacing to see the object of her turmoil climbing into a cab with not one, but two other women! She choked back a sob. All this time she had wanted her, all this time she had thought that because she had been engaged Kathryn would never consider a female partner. All this time she had been wrong. She felt suddenly exhausted, as though she hadn’t regenerated for weeks. Not knowing what else to do she flagged a cab and followed them.

It turned out that Tal Celes was not registered that the same hotel so Kathryn paid for a room for her. She and Alynna half carried Celes to the lift and deposited her on the bed in the small room. Before she passed out completely Celes murmured "I know you love her." That sobered Kathryn up. Bajorans were empathic, she had foolishly let her guard down in front of the young woman earlier. Hopefully she’d forget it all by morning.

"What’d she say?" Alynna whispered.

"I couldn’t make it out?" Kathryn lied. Alynna moved in close and slid her arm around Kathryn’s waist as they made their way to the lift, whispering sordid thoughts into her ear as they rode up twelve storeys. Their rooms were conveniently on the same floor. As horny as Kathryn was feeling she wasn’t sure she could go through with it tonight, not with Seven’s wounded eyes haunting her. When they reached her door she turned to the Admiral to say good-night. Alynna’s mouth was on her’s before she could even speak, her hands raking all over Kathryn’s body making her back arch and nipples peak. Alynna pushed her against the wall as their bodies writhed together. Kathryn moaned uncontrollably, she hadn’t felt this aroused in years. She kept thinking of Seven’s hands, Seven’s lips, Seven’s breasts pressed against hers.

Peeking around the far corner of the hallway, using her enhanced vision was Seven of Nine. She held her breath at the sight. Her body responded in ways it had never responded to Chakotay’s kisses. She wanted her hands on Kathryn’s breasts, her lips on Kathryn’s neck, her thigh pressed between Kathryn’s. She felt a full body rush of desire; perhaps too much blood had left her brain to add to the throbbing below her waist? She felt lightheaded. With all her strength she pulled back from the corner. Her heart was racing, her nipples ached. Her mind reeled with thoughts of challenging the Admiral for Kathryn’s love, demanding to know how many women had been in Kathryn’s past. Kathryn! She squeezed her eyes shut trying to block out the images of Alynna pressing Kathryn up against the wall, She covered her ears to block out the soft moans still audible from down the hall. She pressed her back against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor her knees supporting her elbows. She was weeping; she’d never wept before.

"Alynna, Lynna please … stop." Kathryn managed when the Admiral finally released her lips for a moment.

"Come on!" Alynna urged and tried to kiss her again, pressing harder against her, "you can’t pretend you don’t want this!" She pulled back a little to look into Kathryn’s eyes.

"I’m sorry Lynna, I can’t, I do want you, I do, just not like this, we’re both drunk. I’m exhausted." She was still breathing hard from the kisses, Alynna found it difficult to move away.

"Kathryn, I’ve waited so long, I’ve never stopped thinking about you. No one could ever surpass you, Kathryn, please." At that moment Nechyev thought she might be willing to beg. Somehow she knew that would only make Kathryn want her less.

"All the more reason we should wait."

Admiral Necheyev’s shoulders slumped a little and she groaned plaintively for a moment. Then she kissed Kathryn chastely on the lips and pulled away.

"You’re not getting away from me this time." She said taking a step back and let her eyes travel slowly up Kathryn’s body. "I’ll see you tomorrow." She walked backwards a few paces then turned and walked to the door at the corner. Kathryn watched until the older woman had closed the door behind her. She sighed and slumped against the wall. Her head was pounding. Her mind hummed with one thought, one voice: Seven, Seven, Seven. She felt like a fool. She took a moment to calm her breathing before turning to press her hand to the old-fashioned palm-scan to open her door. She heard a noise from the other end of the hall like a gasp, or a sob. She paused for a moment, thinking about going to investigate. There it was again, definitely a sob. This isn’t my ship, she told herself, I’m only responsible for my own well-being now. Still she stood in the doorway hesitating. Most of the guests in this hotel were somehow associated with Voyager… there were lots of politicians and dignitaries too, all of whom had wanted a photo op with the infamous Captain Janeway. She had spent two full days doing nothing but posing for pictures with people whose titles she’d forgotten five minutes after the camera snapped. No, she wasn’t anybody’s hero tonight. She sighed closing the door behind her. She threw the rumpled jacket of her dress uniform onto the chair in the corner, she untucked her top and pulled it off over her head leaving it on the floor next to the bed. Sitting down she wrestled her boots off and peeled off her socks. She lay back and sighed, trying desperately to gather up the loose ends of herself to tie them back together so they made some sense. Still all she could think of was Seven. Some one knocked loudly on the door. Kathryn closed her eyes, thinking ‘Go Away!’

The knocking became louder and more insistent. She forced herself up and stumbled to look at the small screen showing the hallway.

"Seven!" the name caught in her throat. The younger woman’s head was bowed, one hand grabbing the doorframe the other banging on the door. Kathryn swallowed her trepidation and opened the door. Seven looked up her, eyes red from crying, her face still wet with tears. A dozen emotions clashed inside Kathryn, her first urge was to comfort and protect Seven, but she held back afraid of being rejected.

"Where is she." She demanded pushing past Janeway and stalking into her room. Kathryn wisely closed the door and turned up the light a little.

"Where’s who? Seven?" She turned to find Seven staring at her with a frightened look, she was out of control. Kathryn had never seen her this emotional before, it disturbed her. She kept her distance, wrapping her arms over her chest, conscious of being half undressed.

"The Admiral. Necheyev," Seven spat the name, "she couldn’t seem to keep her hands off of you. It was disgusting!" She started to pace around the room, her beautiful blonde hair disheveled, still wearing her long shimmering gown. "What right does she have!?" "How could you?" "I cannot adapt to this … this…turmoil! I feel as thought parts of me have ceased functioning. Data does not connect, I cannot make sense…"

"Seven, please, try to calm down. There’s no-one here but you and I." Kathryn took a step towards her and Seven stumbled back as if frightened. Wary, Kathryn moved to sit down on the bed, leaning against the head-board and covering herself by hugging a pillow. "What’s causing this turmoil?" Seven’s breath seemed to heave. She paced back and forth, hands clenching and unclenching into fists.

"Why do you let her touch you like that?" Her eyes held only fury.

"We have a history together… it was a long time ago." Kathryn was feeling angry being questioned like this. She sat rigid.

"You loved her?" Though she kept moving her eyes never left Kathryn’s.

"What does it matter now? I don’t even know." Only her eyes moved tracking Seven.

"Were there others? Other women?" Seven continued to pace. Kathryn stayed stubbornly silent. "You copulated with!"

"How in the hell is that any of your business, Seven?" Sarcasm seeped into her voice.

"It is relevant data."

"Relevant to what?"

"It is relevant to me! Had I known this before."

"Known what? That I’d had a fling with a superior, I’m not exactly proud of that, it could have ruined both our careers."

"You feel ashamed?"

"What?"

"Ashamed that you loved a woman."

"No. That wasn’t the issue. What’s going on here, Seven? Why is my former love life, suddenly relevant now?" She glared at the angry young woman.

Seven stopped pacing and crossed her arms defensively over her chest, it was such a human gesture, and it made Kathryn even more jealous of Chakotay. Tears started to fall from Seven’s eyes as she stood there regarding her former Captain.

"Had I only known…" Seven closed her eyes in pain. Awareness finally bloomed in Kathryn’s mind. No, it couldn’t be, Seven would never return her feelings!

"Seven…" Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Had I only known, I would not have married Chakotay."

"I thought you loved him …I didn’t want to interfere." A low flat laugh fell out of Seven’s mouth. She wiped her eyes and let her gaze penetrate Kathryn’s.

"My only love is you." The words stopped Kathryn’s breath. When she finally gasped for air she couldn’t stop herself from sobbing. With tears on her face and her lungs tightening, Kathryn fought to regain some control.

"Oh Seven, I love you." Kathryn buried her face into the pillow and let her tears flow. "I never dreamed you could love me." She hiccuped. She felt the bed shift as Seven sat down. "I’m sorry I wasted so much time, I’m sorry I’m such a coward."

"Regrets are irrelevant now Kathryn." She held the Captain’s face between her hands, encouraging her to look up. "We won’t waste anymore time."

"But what about," she couldn’t bring herself to say his name, "but you’re married now." She searched Seven’s eyes for doubts.

"That contract is irrelevant, and easily reversed. Nothing must come between us ever again, Kathryn." Seven leaned towards her and Kathryn’s heart thumped madly. When their lips met, slowly pressing and caressing for the first time all of Kathryn’s loose ends coiled up together. She suddenly felt stronger than she ever had. Throwing aside the pillow she pulled her love closer, crying out from the sheer joy of touching her like this.

ORIGINAL SONG LYRICS:

He was fine for his size

but he was bigger in my mind

well he was doing something right

cause he was hanging on you tonight

Well it was just about Ten to Ten

An’ I was sittin’ with my friends

Yeah, I was sittin’ with my friends

Cause I didn’t think that I could stand

Well I was half in the bag

And the other half was so afraid

That I was doin’ something wrong

Cuz I was makin’ up this song

It says What’s That Story with the Brown Eyed Man

What’s That Story with the Brown Eyed Man?

I was young for my age

But I was living life OK

It was not my first intention

To get to your attention

But I was filled with thoughts of sin

From the minute you stumbled in

And I was battlin’ my head

All the monsters in me said

They said What’s That Story with the Brown Eyed Man

They said What’s That Story with the Brown Eyed Man?

If it’s love with him, I agree

You should run like hell from me

If it’s love with him, for sure

I will find my own way to the floor

Well, What’s That Story with the Brown Eyed Man

Yeah, What’s That Story with the Brown Eyed Man

Oh, What’s That Story with the Brown Eyed Man

Well What’s That Story with the Brown Eyed Man.