Solitaire

 

B’Elanna Torres sighed in frustration, not too eager to engage the voice on the other side of the audio channel in another round of debate. Her former Captain could be as stubborn as...well as stubborn as her and quite frankly she didn’t like anyone infringing on her territory, it was like being bested in her favorite game. She took a deep breath and prepared for another round of trying to budge a brick wall.

 

“Kathryn, come on. Everyone’s going to be there, it’s a big day for Harry and I’m sure he’d love to see you. It’d be a great chance for you to catch up with all of us.”

 

“Lanna,” Kathryn Janeway’s voice came back, it’s timbre of command unchanged from her days on Voyager. “I would really like to but it just isn’t feasible right now. I’ll send along a wedding gift and give him my sincerest apologies.”

 

“Come on, I doubt there’s anything pressing going on in Indiana, especially where you are. Seriously, what have you got to do out there other than watch the corn grow?”

 

There was a pause and B’Elanna wondered if she had lost the channel.

“I can’t. I’m sorry. Tell Harry congratulations. I really have to go now, we’ll talk later?”

 

“Sure, I’ll call you later.” She disconnected the comm line and pushed her chair back from her desk, thinking about the past year and half.

 

Ever since they had returned to the Alpha quadrant Janeway had done everything in her power to avoid seeing any of the old Voyager crew, at least seeing them at any of their gatherings, and there had been several. Oh sure, she had made private visits, and had come to have dinner with herself and Tom on several occasions, but never made it to any of the Voyager crew functions. It seemed like she had stepped off that ship and never looked back, marching steadfastly away from it as fast as she could. In fact, it seemed like the moment they had arrived in the Alpha Quadrant she had been practically jumping at the chance to get back on terra firma. She hadn’t tried to figure it out, too consumed with her own plans she had assumed that that Captain had been too, until she heard that Janeway was on an indefinite leave from Starfleet. And then there had been the anniversary party.

 

When the old Voyager crew had held an anniversary gathering to celebrate their first year home it had been a quite intimate affair, not the wild shindig people had expected, more like a family reunion. The only person missing had been no other than their former commanding officer. Most people tried to play it off, making excuses for her themselves, some even going as far as to imagine incredibly elaborate stories involving secret Starfleet missions that kept her away from the night’s festivities. No one pondered on it too long though, no one wanted to. Her absence pained them, but no one wanted to show just how much.

 

It had been ever since then that B’Elanna began attempting to get Janeway out into public. Kathryn had bought a house down the road from her mother’s, deep in Indiana farm country. They had gone there once, her and Tom, and had spent the day there with her. Kathryn had taken up horseback riding and had two horses of her own. They had had a wonderful time that day, just the three of them, and extra thrill for the parents of a toddler to be able to have some adult time spent with an adult friend. She smiled when she thought of that day, how they went for a ride down the dusty road in front of her house and how Tom had been unable to get his mount to move an inch forward as he kicked at it helplessly with his heels. She had been sitting behind him on the saddle, frustrated but in a pleasant way, and Kathryn had laughed, her gray blue eyes glimmering as she rode back to them and took the reigns to lead the horse alongside hers.

 

The scene had been as ideal as anyone could imagine, even the air seemed to have a dusty shade from the spring sun. She had seemed happy, her red hair a little longer and loose around her shoulders, and she looked years younger than she had that last year on Voyager and B’Elanna began to reason that the past seven years had just been hard on her and that she needed some time and space to unburden herself of all the stress, of all the decisions she had been forced to make. Tom however, did not share her opinion.

 

“She seemed fine to me,” B’Elanna had pointed out when they had gotten home that day. “In fact, that was the happiest I’ve seen her in a while.”

 

“I’m not saying she wasn’t happy, I’m sure she was but look at the situation. Didn’t you feel it? It was like she had created some self-imposed exile for herself out there. I know something’s wrong, you know why? Because I thought of prison when I was out there today, like I was visiting someone in prison, and I haven’t thought of prison in a long time.”

 

Prison, B’Elanna thought as she looked out the window onto their spacious back yard that she cherished more than anything in her whole life. There were days when if she had been forced to choose either the yard or Tom she would have picked the lawn hands down. She had planted oak trees along the back perimeter fence, which was a dark wood the color of rust. No flowers or anything, just trees and plenty of grass to lie on and look up at stars and clouds. They lived in the city, but this little oasis seemed like something from Kathryn’s Indiana.

 

The weather was right today for a picnic and that’s what they were doing. Tom was sitting on a blanket, trying to get their daughter to eat her lunch, which she tossed into his hair every chance she got. Harry was there too, lounging on the grass, his new fiancé sitting next to him, her legs crossed under he as she sipped from her wine glass.

 

When they had gotten back to the Alpha Quadrant Harry had decided he wasn’t cut out to be a command officer and began training for a new career as a pilot, a passion he had gotten from Tom. At his training school he had met the cute little Betaziod brunette sitting next to him. She was technician and had promptly bent Harry to her will like so many other women had. It was good though, Harry needed someone to kick him in the ass every now and then. Aniel was her name, and she was the reserved type but actually quite fun and B’Elanna enjoyed her company, almost more so than Harry’s, as terrible as that sounded.

 

She opened the patio door and stepped outside. Miral looked for a reprieve from her father’s forced feeding and came running towards hers, tumbling into the grass at least once, but picking herself up like a good little warrior, never crying or throwing a fuss. B’Elanna picked her up and walked towards them.

 

Harry looked up at her, the wine relaxing his features into a carefree smile.

 

“What did she say?”

 

She sat down and tried to get Miral to drink her juice. “It doesn’t sound like she’s going to make it. She said she was very sorry though.”

 

Harry sighed dejectedly as did Aniel. They both had been looking forward to her being there; introducing your future in laws is one thing, but to your former commanding officer was a whole different thing all together. It was something Harry longed to do but his former Captain didn’t seem to be cooperating.

 

“I don’t understand. Why not?” He leaned up and took a sip of his wine. “Do you ever get the impression that she just doesn’t want anything to do with us?”

 

“Harry, I don’t think that’s it at all,” Tom said picking a bit of apple out of his hair that Miral had thrown.

 

“I haven’t seen her once since we got back, not once. I don’t think she’s even in Starfleet anymore. No one has seen her except you two.”

“Now that’s not true, I know she’s been out to Vulcan to see Tuvok a few times.”

 

“But that’s it! No one else. I mean, not even the anniversary party. How could she not show up to that?”

 

“Maybe it’s just bad memories,” B’Elanna offered. “Maybe she thinks, I don’t know, that we blame her for what happened.”

 

“Who? Who blames her? No one blames her B’Elanna, that’s absurd.”

 

Aniel popped her head up, like she was about to say something, but then looked away. She seemed to be gathering her thoughts before she spoke.

 

“I think its something, or rather, someone, she’s trying to distance herself from.” She turned to look B’Elanna squarely in the eye. “Seven of Nine.”

 

A tremor seemed to run through everyone at the mention of that name and no one said a word.

 

“Honey, how do you figure?” Harry asked.

 

Seven had been around, she hadn’t gone into complete hiding, but she hadn’t been exactly social either, of course that had never been her strong suit. She had been at the anniversary party, but after making her rounds had exited promptly. B’Elanna had thought it had to do with Chakotay’s presence and their infamous past romance debacle, but now that she thought about it that didn’t make any sense. Seven had dumped Chakotay, and according to her former comrade in arms they had only been on polite dinner dates and aside from minor smooching nothing heavy had come out of it, it had seemed like they had dated more out of curiosity than a genuine interest, nothing to cause heart break over.

 

Did Kathryn feel that Seven had taken Chakotay? Did she have her eyes set on her first officer?

 

“I’ve never told any of you this but I’ve met Seven of Nine. I didn’t think to mention it before because it was really just in passing. The only thing of significance was what I picked up from her telepathically. I usually don’t share such things but I’ve had some wine so what the hell. She was giving a lecture about the Borg technology that had been installed on the Delta Flier, the same one you lectured at B’Elanna, she was there the day before you.”

 

“I didn’t know that,” B’Elanna said.

 

“After the lecture I introduced myself.” She took a moment to recall Seven’s reaction, a raised metallic brow at the mention she was Harry’s fiancé. It had actually been quite funny, and seemed to be intentionally so, at least a little. “I did mention you would be there the next day B’Elanna but she said Starfleet was sending her somewhere ASAP. You know how those Intelligence officers can be, always cloak and dagger. Anyway, when I mentioned Harry and Voyager a flood of things came out of her, images, emotions, all about Janeway, and in a strange way I could sense Janeway in there too, or at least I could feel her through Seven’s eyes. There’s a lot of pain between those two, a lot of pain.”

 

“Do you think they had a falling out over Chakotay?” B’Elanna ventured.

 

“Maybe Kathryn was interested in him, they did spend a lot of time together.”

 

“I never saw Chakotay in the images.”

 

“Maybe it’s not him so much that she feels she took something from the Captain, betrayed her or something.” Tom said. “And the Captain is upset that her protégé upstaged her and took what she wanted.”

 

B’Elanna had almost sold herself on this theory when she thought again of the anniversary party. That wasn’t like her not to show up to such an important event over a territorial catfight. Besides, Kathryn would never deny Seven anything she wanted, even if it hurt her in the process. She loved her.

 

“Oh shit!” she said suddenly, covering her mouth after the words had escaped. “You didn’t hear that, Miral,” she laughed, making a very late attempt to cover her ears.

 

“What is it?” Tom smiled.

 

Aniel cocked her head to the side as she picked up her thoughts.

 

“Well, go ahead, since you seem to know too,” B’Elanna said.

 

“Seven,” Aniel said. “Janeway wanted Seven, not Chakotay.”

 

No one spoke for a moment until Harry seemed to blow a seam.

 

“No way!” he snorted. “Are you two pulling our legs?”

 

“No.” B’Elanna said. “No, not this time. She probably doesn’t even know that they broke up, she probably thinks they went off to go live happily ever after.”

 

“And out of some guilt for stranding Voyager felt she couldn’t intrude on their happiness,” Tom added, seemingly pleased that he could help start to put the puzzle together.

 

“You think she would ask, nose around a little bit.”

 

“Maybe its too painful.”

 

B'Elanna did a quick calculation in her head. She had less than a week to try to sort this out before Harry's wedding. Tom was not so enthusiastic however in her new project and he told her so later that night.

 

"What can you do B'Elanna? You can't fix her life for her. I love the Captain too, you know I do, but this isn't our business. I mean, this really, really isn't our business. Meddling isn't your strong suit and it isn't mine either."

 

It was late and they sat in the living room with the lights off, both dressed in their pajamas.

 

"You owe her Tom Paris, and so do I."

 

"And Seven? What if she's not even interested? Have you thought of that? What if we set her up for a fall like that? She may never recover."

 

"What was it Aniel picked up? I don't think it was guilt. I know we're walking a delicate edge but the Captain deserves to be happy, she at least deserves a little closure. Let's call Seven, you talk to her and I'll talk to the Captain."

 

"What am I gonna say?"

 

"You'll know what to do you old ham. Call Naomi, she'll know how to get a hold of her."

 

"How am I going to...I mean, what..."

 

"Just get her to the wedding, I'll go out to Indiana tomorrow."

 

The former engineer of Voyager made good on her threat. She was in between research projects for the engineering department at the Academy Research Center and had nothing but time on her hands. She came unannounced, afraid Kathryn may try to slip out of seeing her if she was going to push the wedding issue.

 

She came to doubt that wisdom as she stood on the wood porch and banged at the door for what seemed like the millionth time. Her Klingon side had a real problem with the door not being answered and decided to stalk around the side of the house. Fortunately, she saw a figure in the distance pulling something large into the barn.

 

"Need some help?" she asked when she had caught up to her.

 

Kathryn twirled around and about tripped backwards over the hay bale she was moving into the barn. She was in a white T-shirt and jeans, her hair up in a ponytail.

 

"B'Elanna! You scared the hell out of me! Why didn't you tell me you were coming by?"

 

"I was in the neighborhood."

 

"I would hug you but I'm a bit of a mess. You would think after a few hundred years they would find a better way to bale hay that wasn't so damn unwieldy. Maybe I'm just out of shape."

 

"Let me, we'll both take an end." B'Elanna took one of the hooks, hooked it in and they easily lifted the bale and moved it into the barn.

 

Kathryn pulled her gloves off and shook the dust off of them. "This is about that wedding isn't it?"

 

"No actually."

 

"Well, let's go back to the house so I can clean up. It's just about time for lunch too. You know, I was thinking of painting this barn. There's an upstairs level, did you know that? It would be nice to do something with it."

 

"Like what?"

 

Kathryn shrugged and then started to laugh. "I don't know."

 

B'Elanna waited in the kitchen, drinking some coffee Janeway had made as she waited for her to finish cleaning up. As always, the captain was economical with her time and emerged shortly freshly scrubbed and in a dark sweater with matching black pants.

 

"My cooking's getting better if you can believe it. I have some left over stir fry I made last night."

 

"I'm fine, thanks."

 

"Then I hope you don't mind if I eat because I'm starved. How's Tom and Miral?"

 

"Fine. Actually..." Her thoughts flew away from her and she forgot her prepared speech. She swallowed nervously as she watched Kathryn begin to move around the kitchen. She stood from her seat at the kitchen table and leaned against the white topped counter.

 

"I was talking to Harry's fiancé yesterday...she's a telepath did I tell you that? Anyway, I guess she ran into Seven a while back." She watched as Janeway froze, her spine going rigid. She set down the plate she had been preparing and turned around.

 

"Oh?" she said quietly.

 

"Yea." She waited, letting it sink in a little, which it seemed to be doing rather nicely. Janeway turned around and went back to preparing her lunch.

 

"How is she?"

 

"I don't know really, but Aniel said when she brought up Voyager there seemed to be a lot of pain."

 

Kathryn didn't say anything for a long time, keeping her hands busy and her back to her guest.

 

"I hear she's an intelligence officer for Starfleet now."

 

"That's true. She's perfect for that work if you ask me. No one could sneak around like Seven."

 

"How's Chakotay feel about that?" she asked through clenched teeth.

 

"I don't know." She was stopped short when she heard something crash and jerked her gaze back to Kathryn to see she had dropped her plate on the floor.

 

"Fuck!" she said explosively.

 

B'Elanna came around the counter quickly. "It's okay, we can clean it up," she said soothingly. She could see Kathryn's jaw muscles were tensed and she refused to look her in the eye, focusing down on the plate shards. Her face was flushed and she turned away quickly.

 

"I can't do this right now," she said quietly and then marched herself out onto the back porch.

 

The engineer sighed as she kicked a small plate shard over with her foot. This wasn't going to be easy. She had hardly even said anything yet. She looked out the kitchen bay window and could see Janeway standing on the back porch, holding onto the railing as she looked off into the distance, her grip like steel on the wooden banister, as if she was on the deck of a rolling ship. B'Elanna decided she had better give her a second and took a moment to go through the kitchen cabinets, looking for one of her Captain's favorite weaknesses. Her search was rewarded with a twelve-year-old bottle of Scotch. She grabbed a couple of glasses and headed outside.

 

When she opened the screen door and stepped onto the porch her former Captain didn't turn around, just reached up to quickly wipe at her eyes. She sat the glasses down and began to pour, which was enough to get Janeway to turn around.

 

"I take it from your reaction you need some of this."

 

"What reaction? I dropped a plate, Lanna, hardly anything to write home about," she said turning away again.

 

B'Elanna set on of the half filled glasses beside her on the railing and waited. Janeway only hesitated a moment before picking it up and downing the whole thing, then smacking it back down beside her.

 

"Kathryn..."

 

"Could we just pretend this never happened?"

 

"No, there's something you need to know."

 

"What B'Elanna! I don't want to know anymore than I need to. Ignorance is bliss in my case."

 

"But-"

 

"Just leave it-"

 

"She's not with Chakotay!" B'Elanna hollered, finally fed up with her captain's evasion. "That thing ended before it even started. Not too long after we got home in fact. You didn't think that was really going to work did you?"

 

"No," she snorted, handing her glass back for another refill. "I knew so. Admiral Janeway told me as much. She said in her timeline they had been married, but Seven died two years afterwards. Seven's death destroyed her, I couldn't let that happen. I had to change the timeline with her. When I heard about her and Chakotay I just assumed things were following course so I..." She faltered and turned around to look at her friend for help.

 

"So you effectively removed yourself from the timeline, Captain. That's what you've done, you've removed yourself from her life. You saved her from a certain death, that's true, but somehow you've decided her future as well, in this timeline. I don't think that's very fair."

 

"That's not what I was trying to do."

 

"You took yourself out of her life, removed yourself as an option. That's exactly what you did, and tried to shove her towards Chakotay. In the other timeline she married Chakotay and died, I don't think you'd want a repeat performance of that. Besides, the Admiral must have had the same feelings towards her, otherwise she wouldn't know how to push your buttons. She knew Seven was your weak spot. Don't repeat her mistakes, don't curse yourself to a life without her, of unspoken feelings. No wonder Admiral Janeway did what she did. I can't imagine having to stand by and watch her go off with..."

 

"I don't have to imagine," she said, cutting her off.

 

"I don't understand why you just gave up before you even tried, I mean, do you think Chakotay is stiff competition?"

 

"I thought that was how things were supposed to be."

 

"This doesn't sound like Captain Janeway of the starship Voyager at all. Since when did you even give a rat's ass about temporal mechanics? You sure didn't give a damn when you brought us home, why now?"

"I'm just...I don't know. I'm scared."

 

"Of what?"

 

"That I have nothing to offer her, or that even worse I loose her. I couldn't bear that, I've lost too many people already." She took another swig of Scotch. "I wasn't exactly nice to her when we got home. I made it clear that we wouldn't be seeing each other again, ever."

 

"What'd you say?"

 

"I can't remember exactly. It wasn't done with words really. I was cruel, dismissive. No wonder she hurts now." She leaned against the banister and looked down into the amber scotch in her glass for a few moments before looking up suddenly. "How'd you know? About Seven."

 

"Well duh, Captain. I can put two and two together. You need to fix this, get yourself out of exile. Come to the wedding and I'll make sure Seven is there."

 

"B'Elanna, it's too late for this now, don't you see that? Any remote chance I had is gone."

 

"I don't agree. Besides, how can we find out if you don't try?"

 

"She probably won't give me the time of day after the way I acted."

 

"Yes she will, that Borg has always had a weak spot for you. You were the only one who could get her to do anything."

 

Kathryn smiled weakly and shook her head. "Only about half of the time, the rest of the time she just did what she wanted anyway."

 

"Come to the wedding."

 

"No."

 

"If you don't I'll send her to your house and have her knocking on your front door before you know it. You know I'll do it."

 

Kathryn was surprised by the lightness that came to her being when she thought of Seven. It had been a long time since she had thought about her former Astrometrics officer. Not the painful memories but the good things, the things that made her smile even when she at the time had been as infuriated as hell. It was like an emotional drug, and she had to have it back. The casual smiles she could force out of her, the way Seven would sigh when she was exasperated with something and roll her eyes, Janeway found it to be rather endearing.

 

“You know, I don’t think Chakotay could understand her, the duality of her nature. He wanted her to just wipe the Borg away and come out like the girl next door, but that’s not who she is. I admit I didn’t understand her much at first, how she could be part Borg and part human. But you did, you always did, and you never tried to force her to be anything other than who she was.”

 

She took her drink and sat down in one of the patio recliners. “I suppose I have no choice then. Where’s this wedding at?”

 

B’Elanna felt mentally exhausted from sparring with Janeway and was happy to be home. Tom arrived back shortly after her. He had been taking care of Miral all day and was looking forward to a break.

 

“How’d everything go?”

 

“She’s coming. It took a little scotch and a lot of prodding but she’s coming.”

 

He flopped down on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table, content to let their toddler tear around the living room unimpeded.

 

“What did you say?”

 

“I just told her the truth. I told her what Aniel said about seeing Seven and I didn’t have to lead her to where I was going, she went charging there on her own despite herself.”

 

“So we were right?”

 

“Yes we were. It was a little more complicated than what we had thought but we were right.”

 

“Complicated?”

 

“Just some things Admiral Janeway told her about the other time line, nothing important. I think she really misses her. I threatened to send her to her house if she didn’t show, that seemed to convince her resistance was futile. How did things go with Seven?”

 

“She’s coming too, she didn’t take too much convincing.”

 

“What did she say about the Captain?”

 

“Well, you see, we didn’t get to that.”

 

“You just invited her and didn’t tell her Janeway was going to be there! You didn’t even discuss it! I should have sent you to Janeway’s and taken the easy job.”

 

“Hey, I take the breaks where I can get them,” he smiled.

 

Kathryn stayed on the back porch after B’Elanna had left and looked off into the horizon, even as the sun grew dim and the sky grew dark she continued to stare blindly ahead. All of those memories she had blocked flooded her brain, one after another like a chain of images being pulled through her mind’s eye. She remembered a time when Seven helped her put the last pip on her dress uniform, how she had felt the heat coming off her body and the scent of her hair. She had felt wonderfully at ease at that moment, happy to be in the orbit of her shining star, her Seven. She missed the late night or sometimes early morning talks and the way Seven would just march into her quarters. Did she even grant her permission to enter sometimes? It seemed like she hadn’t or couldn’t remember. When they had been on the disabled cube and one of the Borg children had tried to physically intimidate her and how Seven had flown forward to protect her only to be blocked by a force field.

 

She must feel something, she must care, Janeway reasoned. But it had been over a year since they had walked off Voyager and gone their separate ways.

 

“When we get to Earth I’ll take you there.”

 

Her own words flew back to haunt her. She had found Seven in Astrometrics looking at pictures of Earth and she had flipped to a picture on Indiana. She had promised to bring her home once they got to the Alpha Quadrant but she didn‘t. Why was Seven looking at Indiana?

 

Storm clouds gathered and lighting scattered across the horizon. A gust of wind washed over her, heavy with the smell of rain. She had to feel…something, something beyond the hurt she had caused. She went inside and rung up B’Elanna. She only used audio communication, she couldn’t stand the idea of people being able to see into her private home, her life, it was just one more thing she didn’t need. After a few moments B’Elanna answered.

 

“Captain, what’ up?”

 

“Did you talk to Seven?”

 

“I didn’t, Tom did earlier today.”

 

“Ah, a two pronged attack. What happened?”

 

“She said she’d come. I’m afraid Tom didn’t talk much to her about much of anything other than coming to the wedding.”

 

“Oh,” she said.

 

“Are you okay, Kathryn?”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“You’ll be there, right?”

 

“Yea, I’ll be there.”

 

“Come early, that way we can get all the hellos out of the way.”

 

“I will, thanks.”

 

When she ended the call B’Elanna took a breath and stared at the comm unit. She hoped Janeway wasn’t starting to get cold feet, there seemed to be a hesitancy in her voice, like she was looking for a way out.

 

“Come on Kathryn,” she whispered. “Don’t give up now.”

 

Seven had been somewhat surprised when she was hailed in the lab that Tom Paris was there to see her. She wasn’t aware any of the old Voyager crew knew where she even worked at Starfleet headquarters. The lab was a secure area so she met him down at the lobby. He looked a little disheveled as he attempted to maintain some control over his daughter who had no interest in listening to him at all. She finally found a place on the couch she seemed to like and sat still for a moment. He had seemed uncomfortable, even tripping on his own words several times. He finally parlayed the information about Harry’s wedding. Seven didn’t have to be a telepath to sense there was more going on than he was saying. Why would he be nervous about inviting her to Harry’s wedding? And why was he doing the inviting?

 

“I will make it a point to attend,” she said, giving him a nod of her head. Her stomach did a little flip when the thought came to her that Janeway could possibly attend, but she knew that was unlikely. The Captain had been very reclusive since they had returned home, and Seven had not seen her since. After Tom left she went back to her office and sat down for a while. She hadn’t even attempted to contact her former Captain, something like panic flooded her when she even thought about it. How did things get like this? What had happened between them? Why had Janeway turned so cold towards her? What had she done?

 

Going through these questions was an irrelevant exercise, she reminded herself. It wasn’t worth getting upset over, which is ultimately what would happen if she pondered it any longer. She clamped down on her thoughts, deadening her emotions, something she had plenty of practice at. She did however allow herself a moment to look at the holo image she kept hidden in her desk drawer, a non descript image of the Indiana countryside. After a few minutes she turned it back off and returned to work.

 

The wedding was held on Saturday afternoon in an restored twentieth century church within view of the Golden Gate Bridge. Kathryn took B’Elanna’s advice and arrived early. She wore a cream colored pants suit with a white silk shirt underneath. As expected she was inundated with attention and questions. Guilt flooded her when she saw every face and shook every hand. How could she have turned her back on these people?

 

Harry gushed when he saw her and she thought he might sprain something in his excitement. The entire time she was reacquainting herself with her crew she eyed the crowd, looking for a certain tall blonde ex-Borg but she was nowhere to be found. Chakotay was not present either. Tuvok was there and they sat together in the back pew to watch the ceremony. Janeway kept her eyes on all the entrances but began to loose hope as time ticked by.

 

“You seem uneasy,” Tuvok commented.

 

“No, no I’m fine,” she said, turning towards him, pulling her gaze from the door. “I was hoping…I heard Seven was going to be here.”

 

“I would deduce that at this juncture it appears she is most likely not going to arrive. The crew seems happy to see you again. Many have made inquiries regarding your absences.”

 

“I wish they knew how sorry I am. I’m such a fool, Tuvok.”

 

“No, only true to your human nature, as you usually are.”

 

All hope fled from her as the wedding began. Seven was not coming. She tried not to think about it but to focus on the events unfolding before her, but even in the best of circumstances she found weddings to be quite a bore. She looked around the restored church, appreciating the arching wooden beamed roof above her and the intricate architecture.

 

She was happy for them, it was good to see Harry finding a new destiny on Earth, a new career and now a new wife, not hiding out in some house on the plains. Damn she was angry at herself for throwing the time away like she had, like it was nothing to be cherished. She may as well have stayed in the Delta Quadrant. Sometimes she wished she had.

The end of the ceremony cut her self loathing to an end. The reception was in a hall across the street and she caught up to B’Elanna outside as they filed out of the church.

 

“I’m sorry, Kathryn,” she said immediately, giving her a hug.

 

“It’s alright, at least it gave me a chance to see everyone.”

 

“Captain!”

 

She spun around to see a familiar figure hustling towards her from across the tree lined street.

 

“Doctor,” she smiled.

 

He had programmed himself with a new Starfleet uniform and she saw the mobile emitter glittering on his arm.

 

“Long time no see, stranger. How have you been? What have you been up to? You just seemed to disappear when we got home. I feared I wouldn’t see you before I shipped out.”

 

“Shipped out?”

 

“I’m the new chief medical officer of the U.S.S. Glasgow. It’s about the same size as Voyager. I was hoping for a Galaxy class but it’s a start.”

 

“Well congratulations,” she smiled.

 

“I heard from Chakotay. Apparently he’s on a humanitarian mission and couldn’t make it. He said to say hello if you showed up.”

 

“I heard about that. I’m glad to know he hasn’t forgotten his old captain. Come on, let’s go inside and catch up.”

 

When they had gotten inside the hall Kathryn froze, her muscles freezing at the sight she had been anticipating all day but had given up on. Seven stood just meters away, dressed all in black, a form fitting top with matching pants, her hair done up in a loose but exquisitely arranged pony tail, her blonde locks curled slightly. She was talking to Harry, probably apologizing for her lateness. Kathryn bit the inside of her cheek, hoping he didn’t say anything about her being here. She wasn’t ready for Seven to start walking in her direction, she needed time to get her thoughts together. She sighed in relief as she saw Seven turn away to talk with Naomi Wildman, who was nearly as tall as she was now. She needed to sit down. They sat down at an out of the way table with Tom and B’Elanna. Kathryn felt like she was hiding and in a way she was, attempting to stay obscured at the far end of the table.

 

“Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to me,” she whispered.

 

“What?” the Doctor asked.

 

“Nothing.”

 

She couldn’t move, fear kept her in her chair. Even the couple of cocktails she had did not quell her nervousness. People moved around her, conversations ebbed and flowed, the night moved on, time flew by her and still she sat, too terrified to move. There was a slow song playing and the dance floor was filled with couples. She thought maybe it would be best to just slink home with her tail between her legs. She had no plan of action at all, every one seemed to just fly out of her head.

 

“Are you going to sit here all night? I didn’t go through all the trouble of getting this together to have you sit on your ass all night.”

 

“B’Elanna!”

 

“Well I didn’t. You’re acting like you don’t even know her. She’s dancing with the Doctor right now on the other side of the dance floor, go cut in.” B’Elanna had already instructed not only for the Doctor to dance with Seven but to step aside immediately when the Captain cut in, or she would invert his programming and have him walking on his hands and talking out his ass. She didn’t tell him anything about the wrangling she had to do to even get the Captain here, or the motivations and rampant emotions playing out behind the scenes. He was, as usual, clueless.

 

“But I don’t know what to even say.”

 

“Figure it out. I can still have her show up at your house you know.”

 

Janeway pondered this and nodded her head. “Okay.” She had to start moving forward or she wasn’t going to move at all. She stood up and stalked like she had a purpose to the dance floor, the colored lights making everything surreal. She zeroed in on the Doctor’s back and before she knew it she had her hand on his shoulder and he stepped aside without her having to say a word. She stepped into his spot without missing a beat. If she didn’t know better it almost felt like it was planned.

 

“Seven,” she breathed, looking up at the ice blue eyes that had haunted her.

 

Seven jerked upright, like a jolt of electricity had coursed through her. This couldn’t be. That voice, it still sparked a fire in her even now, when she had tried so hard to forget it. She didn’t know what to say. She knew they should be dancing so she decided to go ahead with that. She took Janeway’s hand and moved her left hand to her waist. Kathryn glided along with her, never taking her gaze away.

 

“I’m sorry, Seven,” she said quietly. “I never wanted to walk away from you.”

 

She didn’t say anything for a few moments, she looked away and took a breath. “You…hurt me, Kathryn.” She had fantasized about using her Captain’s first name and was amazing to hear it roll off her lips despite the pain in her voice.

 

Janeway could hear the hurt in her voice and it made her chest contract painfully. “That was the last thing I wanted Seven, believe me.”

 

“I thought when we came home…I needed you, and you weren’t there.”

 

“I know,” she said, sliding her hand up onto her shoulder. “This wasn’t how I wanted it.”

 

“Then how did you want it?” Seven was calling her on the carpet, right here and now. She needed answers, she needed to know what this was. Ever since she had begun to suspect her true feelings for her Captain she could think of little else, even months later she sought answers to the complex relationship they had shared on Voyager and why now she hurt so much without her.

 

“I wanted you home, with me,” she said. Her body was trembling right down to her toes and she felt Seven pull her closer, attempting to steady her.

 

“So did I,” Seven whispered in her ear.

 

Janeway shut her eyes tight and felt a tear cascade down her cheek and onto Seven’s shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought I was getting out of the way so you could be with Chakotay.”

 

“He was not an option. Is that why you have been hiding yourself?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Kathryn,” she chided disapprovingly, sighing in exasperation.

 

“I know,” she said, tickled to hear that irritated sigh she had grown to love on Voyager. “I’ve been an idiot. There’s nothing now, no Voyager, no Delta quadrant to occupy my thoughts, no Starfleet.”

 

“So I heard,” Seven commented.

 

“Only you.” Was it too late? Seven was impossible to read, something she had always thought she had been good at.

 

Seven could say the same, but she wasn’t going to, in fact she wasn’t sure what to say at all. There was too much pain here, pain she didn’t want to be drug through again.

 

“I’ll never hurt you again, I promise,” Kathryn murmured, looking up at her with smoldering eyes the color of a thunderstorm.

 

Seven sucked in a harsh breath and tried to calm her pounding heart. Unbeknownst to her, a small tear escaped from her human eye. Janeway pulled her closer and her body responded immediately, settling comfortably against her Captain’s lithe form. Something happened that she wasn’t expecting; at first she thought it was an itch, then an ache, then it dawned on her.

 

I’m aroused, she realized. This was a reaction Seven was beginning to believe she was not capable of experiencing, perhaps because of her Borg physiology. She had come up with several theories, even that the her Borg nanoprobes did not approve of the waste of moisture. But it was happening, right now. She stood still for a moment and stared down at Kathryn with something of a surprised look on her face.

 

“Amazing,” Seven breathed finally. Everything was beginning to make sense, slide into place.

 

“Seven?”

 

The tall blonde stepped back. “Could you please excuse me for a moment?” she said formally, and then promptly walked away, leaving Janeway shaken and stunned.

 

She walked out the double doors that led to an outdoor patio area that looked out towards the Pacific, which glimmered in the distance. She walked over the marble terrace and leaned against the railing, taking a moment to get her breath and calm her quaking insides. How could this be? All this time. The door opened and shut and she didn’t have to turn around to know who it was.

 

“All this time,” she said quietly to herself. “It’s been you.” She turned around to look at her former Captain, who looked like she was prepared to march into battle but now could only stand there and stare, wringing her hands nervously.

 

“Come here,” she said, holding out her hand.

 

Kathryn placed her hand in the gentle grip of her Borg enhanced left hand and stepped towards her. She didn’t see what was coming until Seven’s lips were on hers, her tongue softly dancing forward and being greeted by her own. When it was over it took her a moment to open her eyes, as if the moment might fly away, the kiss had been so gentle it had seemed like a dream.

 

But it wasn’t and she looked up to see impossibly blue eyes looking back at her. Flutters now, Seven observed. Butterflies, she had heard some people call it. This had been predestined, she reasoned. This was what was meant to be, anything else was unacceptable.

 

“I love you,” she whispered.

 

Kathryn seemed stunned and it took her a moment to regain her footing.

 

“I love you too, I always have.” Inside she was freverently thanking any higher power that could hear her.

 

“I don’t want to be with anyone else, ever,” she said matter of factly.

 

“I wholeheartedly agree,” she breathed, wrapping her arms around Seven’s middle. Before she could say anything more someone opened the door.

 

“Mr. Kim has asked that you perform a toast, Captain,” the Doctor stated, nonplussed by their intimate position.

 

“Isn’t the best man supposed to do that?” she asked, slightly irritated.

 

“I think the crew just wants to hear from you. Come on, Captain.”

 

She nodded and threw a glance at Seven, who followed her back inside, her Borg enhanced thoughts evaluating the situation, and reaching a conclusion in 10.5 seconds. She made a decision. Resistance would indeed be futile. The hall seemed more intimate than it had before, champagne glasses glittering in the raised lighting as the crew gathered together. Kim and his new bride sat at a table, Kim looking apparently red faced from all of the attention. Everyone turned to look at the Captain approaching and someone handed her a glass. She felt a little nervous as she stood in front of them, it had been a long time. She flew into the toast by the seat of her pants, telling them all how much she had missed them, how she wished the best for Harry, and she promised not to stay away so long again. It shocked her how they all applauded her after she had concluded, and she could feel the affection flowing towards her. She raised her glass and took the ceremonial sip after the toast, her eyes dancing over the crowd and in danger of tearing up. They seemed so happy, so close, she wanted the moment to go on forever.

 

“I have something to say.”

 

Seven’s perfectly pitched voice reverberated across the room and everyone’s attention fixed on her. She held no champagne glass and she stood in the middle of the now empty dance floor, her hands at her side.

 

“What’s she up to?” the Doctor asked B’Elanna, who just shrugged.

 

“We’ve been home for over a year now, our lives considerably different than they were before. I’ve realized how important this crew is to each other, and more personally, how important our Captain is. In fact, she’s been the most important person in my life, a bond I would like to make permanent.” She began to walk towards the stunned Janeway.

 

“There is no one else, on this world or any other, that I love more. My course of action is clear.”

 

What is she doing? Janeway thought frantically.

 

The rest of the crew was not as confused.

 

“On your knee,” Paris hissed.

 

Seven turned to look at him, obviously missing what he had said.

 

“On your knee!” the crowd roared in unison.

 

She looked a little confused but she did as instructed, slowly getting down on one knee and as she had heard someone describe the noise once, the crowd went wild. Kathryn couldn’t even think, the torrent of thoughts drowning each other out. Seven was undeniably determined, she could see it in the set of her jaw. What about….What about…The objections she tried to muster just didn’t seem to be manifesting. And why in the hell was the crew so overjoyed? Had they all seen this coming? B’Elanna’s words came back to her. Well, duh Captain. She looked down at the most beautiful creature in the universe who dutifully took her hand.

 

“Kathryn Janeway, will you be mine exclusively?”

 

“Seven, are you asking me to marry you?”

 

“Yes, I’m asking you to marry me.”

 

Again, the objections didn’t manifest, only a yes, which came out as a strangled whisper.

 

“Yes?” Seven asked, hoping she had heard right.

 

“Yes!”

 

Seven leapt to her feet and kissed her passionately, despite the audience.

 

“When have I ever been able to say no to you anyway?” Janeway smiled when the kiss ended.

 

“Are you sure?” Seven whispered.

 

“If you’re sure, I’m sure. Who can argue with all that Borg logic?”

 

“Now I was not expecting that,” B’Elanna said, staring at the newly engaged couple. After all the hoopla everyone had settled down to dinner, the Captain and Seven sitting at their own table, holding court like a royal couple as every few moments someone would go up to offer their congratulations.

 

“I think Harry was upstaged,” the Doctor commented.

 

“I don’t think he minded. If anything, no one will forget this wedding.” Tom said.

 

The Doctor still looked utterly confused as he sat next to B’Elanna and Tom, looking at both of them like they had just sprouted tentacles from their heads.

 

“Am I the only one who sees this as an utterly mind boggling course of events?”

 

“Yup, pretty much,” Tom answered.

 

“I would like to come home with you after this,” Seven said quietly to Janeway, her voice soft with emotion.

 

“Of course,” she responded, her mind spinning with thoughts of the things they would soon be sharing together, exploring together. And she was an explorer after all. In the course of one day everything had changed, she could see into a future that she didn’t imagine she could have. The darkness that had enveloped her was gone, it lifted from her shoulders like a literal weight. It was then that she truly appreciated the gift Admiral Janeway gave her; a new timeline that was hers to live where anything was possible. Nothing was predetermined and their destiny was their own.

 

"What the hell just happened?" Janeway asked. "Have you completely lost your mind?"

 

"It seemed the logical choice," Seven answered. Their chairs were pulled close together and they just stared at each other in utter amazement.

 

Of course. To Seven it would make perfect sense. What had she said once about how the Borg had no need for subterfuge? She reached over and delicately took Seven's un-Borg right hand in hers, laced their fingers together, and settled their joined hands in her lap.

 

"How can you forgive me so utterly for the way I walked away from you?" Janeway asked. "For the way I hurt you?"

 

"I don't believe you would ever try to maliciously hurt me, Kathryn. Make unwise choices, yes, but not with the intention to inflict pain."

 

"Ah, to be on the other side of those crafty insults again," she smiled. She felt her eyes tearing up and she wasn't sure why. She closed her eyes in an attempt to ward it away but still the tears slipped, out of her control.

 

"Everything's going to be all right," Seven whispered in her ear.

 

Yes, all right. After eight and a half years, after the Delta Quadrant, after Starfleet, after all the loss things were finally going to be all right.