What the hell is going on Owen?

“What the hell is going on Owen?”
Gretchen Janeway was having none of his avoiding eye contact and shuffling from foot to foot.   “Is it about Kathryn?”
   “Of course it is.  Why else would I be here?” He shot back.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t come to…  I came to warn you – to caution you” he amended quickly “that Kathryn won’t be the person you remember.”
“I know that.” She spat, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at the aging admiral.
“Gretchen, you have no idea.  I have no idea.” He added quietly.
“Owen?” she took a step towards him “Worse than Cardassia?” Only Owen could relate to her daughter’s experience at the hands of the Cardassians.
He finally brought himself to meet her eyes
   “Nine years, Gretchen.   She didn’t merely shake hands with the Devil.”
Gretchen’s jaw set hard as she willed herself not to tear up.  She was finally getting her dead daughter back, but she might be dead inside anyway. 
   “She’s resilient.  You know that.  She always righted herself.  She has something inside her that’s so strong… nothing could pervert it.” She stated calmly.  She knew better than to ask about a court martial.  If it was more than a handshake, then it was a deal with Devil, and she didn’t want to know.
Owen reached for his jacket, knowing a dismissal when he heard it. 
   “Just… just be careful with her, Gretchen.  She won’t tell you what’s going on, what’s been lost.” He sighed, hoping he hadn’t inadvertently made things harder for Kathryn.
   “I’ve been saving up almost a decade worth of mothering.  I’ll be whatever she needs.” She said, opening the front door.
   She closed the door behind him and leaned against it.  There was something in Owen’s parting look.  She had learned long ago to deduce the secrets people wanted to tell, but couldn’t. It was part and parcel of being an admiral’s wife. And there was the fact that she had considered an affair with him some years ago.  She knew him better than most.
‘What the hell happened out there?’ she thought desperately, wanting to claw the walls; be distracted by slivers under her fingernails.  She determined to find out soon.  It was less than 48 hours before her daughter would arrive at Starfleet headquarters in San Francisco.  Gretchen would be there, not waiting with the other family members, but in a private room in headquarters.  ‘Captain’s privilege’ Kathryn had written in her letter.  She would watch Kathryn make her homecoming speech on holovids, then her daughter would come to her.  Gretchen understood the letter.  She knew that Kathryn couldn’t speak to her until she was done.  Until all of her crew was safely enfolded in their families’ arms and she wasn’t their captain anymore.  She could only let her guard down after that. 


   Gretchen couldn’t decide what to wear.  She thought Kathryn would appreciate something soft and comforting, but she couldn’t look too old.  She wanted to seem the same as when Kathryn left.  She finally decided on a pale blue cashmere sweater and cream slacks.  She desperately wanted to exude calmness; a serenity that Kathryn could absorb.  “Pastels are good.” She murmured to herself.
   She checked Kathryn’s room one last time on her way out.  She had changed a few things, removed pictures of Kathryn’s ex-fiancee, Mark and painted the walls a pale grey.  The sunny yellow might have been a shock after years of Starfleet’s gunmetal and navy décor.   Everything seemed to be in order, just like the last dozen times she had checked.  She descended the stairs and swept into the kitchen.  She opened the oven door to check the brownies that were baking. 
   “Everything’s turning out perfectly.” Phoebe declared, deftly shaping a crab cake and placing it on an already towering platter of the same fare.  She turned toward the deepfryer, dropping a ball of batter in to test the temperature.
   “Good.  Okay.  I’m off, then.” She smiled and headed for the door.
   “Mama!” Phoebe grabbed her arm, “Tell her I love her.”
   “I will, Sweetness. And you’ll tell her yourself in a few hours.”
   “Okay,” she swallowed hard, smiled big. “Okay.  Good luck.”


   The young ensign looked fairly ready to burst, the muscles in his neck working so fast, he seemed on the verge of seizure. 
   “We’re all so… thrilled that Voyager is back.” He offered lamely after turning to speak, but not saying a word at least four times on their short walk.
   “Ditto, ensign.” He paused by a random door and keyed in the entry code. “You’d better get down to the Square so you don’t miss the captain’s speech.” She dismissed.
   “Yes ma’am.”

   As she entered the room, the lights came up and the huge black window faded to transparent, revealing the San Francisco skyline; foggy, but with bright rays of sun peeking through.  Several large monitors also activated, and she could see the podium at the head of the Square from 3 different angles.
   She walked toward a comfortable-looking office chair, sat, crossed her legs, and then stood to pace.  There was less than half an hour before the situation would explode, but she could not think of a thing to occupy that time. 



   Captain Janeway sat stoically in her prescribed chair on the bridge.  The crew’s usual banter had quieted to a stunned silence as soon as earth had come into view.  The muted beeps and trills emanating from various consoles barely kept her from believing this wasn’t all a cruel dream.  She focused on the words floating around her head; putting them in order, visualizing the most appropriate facial expression.  She was an excellent public speaker, but there were absolutely no words that could properly reintroduce these people to their home.
‘We’ve been home for years,’ she thought.
   She caught Naomi’s eye from the corner of the bridge’s engineering station where the little girl was tucked away so she could have a front row seat.  Naomi stared at her, mouth slack.  Kathryn smiled, allowing it to reach her eyes so they twinkled conspiratorially.  Naomi snapped out of her daze and smiled back, then turned back to the viewscreen.
‘They’ll be fine,’ She told herself firmly ‘therefore I’ll be fine.’  She fixated on the back of her pilot’s head instead of the huge blue planet they were fast coming up on. 
   “ETA: 15 minutes.” The sandy-haired pilot suddenly stated, breaking the silence for a moment.


   The holographic Doctor paced, agitated.  He was glad to have a destination, to know that he wouldn’t be deactivated and stored in some Starfleet database. But the situation disturbed him.  He was no psychologist, but the way everyone was dealing with the situation… It seemed wrong.  Yet he could think of no alternative that would suit the Captain.  So he checked his bags one last time.  He added one more hypospray, panicking slightly at the prospect of performing his duties in a traditionalist setting.  If anything went wrong… a farm was no place for an emergency to take place.


   Gretchen sat now, so close to the screens she could touch them, however she refrained, hands clasped like chainlinks in her lap.  She barely caught the words her daughter was saying, she was focused so intently on her eyes and her mouth and her gestures.  Kathryn was the most beautiful woman in the world right now…  But thin.  Skinny. Gretchen strained to see the musculature beneath Kathryn’s uniform, but could make out only sharp angles hidden with thick uniform material.  Were the others’ uniforms so heavy?  She went back to the eyes, watching as they alternately shone with sadness, with gladness, with… predictability.  ‘She’s conceived every detail,’ Gretchen realized.
And suddenly it was over.  The cheers from the crowd were deafening and Kathryn’s smile was wide as she stepped back from the front of the podium.  Gretchen gasped as she saw Kathryn stumble slightly but a tall blond with a severe French twist was at her side in an instant, then Kathryn disappeared altogether. 
   “Okay.  Jesus.  She’s clumsy.  It’s okay.” She tried comforting herself. 
Kathryn reappeared as her people streamed off the podium to meet their families.  She walked beside the blond, whose hand was at her elbow, and a bald man with a large bag was at her other side.  They seemed almost to be sandwiching her, flanking her.  Perhaps security? Gretchen lost sight of her as she entered the very building Gretchen was in. 
   “How long?  Calm down.  Not long.  Four minutes, maybe. Serene.” She started counting the seconds under her breath, pointedly smoothing her silver-streaked hair and adjusting her sweater.  She closed her eyes, determined not to open them until the door opened.

   It seemed like multiple eternities later that she heard the swish of the pneumatic door.  She forced herself to respond, taking a step forward before she had even opened her eyes.  Kathryn had stepped into the room to allow the door to close, but hadn’t moved from that position.  Kathryn was examining her inch for inch.  Gretchen advanced slowly, never taking her eyes off of her daughter’s.  The two gray storms had her mesmerized.
   “Mama.” She finally said, and reached for Gretchen’s hand. She brought her mother’s hand to her face, stroking her palm and her wrist with feather-light touches. “I missed the way you smell.” She whispered, her voice deep. “Mama?” Kathryn seemed to be asking for something.  “I missed your voice.”
   “Kathryn.” She managed, “Every moment, I…There’s so much… I love you so much.” Gretchen took Kathryn’s face in her hands and kissed her forehead and her cheeks and finally her lips.  She slid her arms around her daughter and hugged her so fiercely there was no room for breathing.  There had been too much breathing anyway.
   “Mom.” Kathryn pulled away “There’s some people I want you to meet.  The situation…well, it’s complicated.” She smiled crookedly.  “They’re coming with me- with us.” 
Kathryn reached into a hidden pocket in her uniform and brought out a silvery ring with a green stone. 
   “I… um.” She offered as explanation, then slipped the band onto the ring finger of her left hand.
   “Oh my gods.” Gretchen gasped.  “Katie?  Really?”
   “It’s complex.” Kathryn answered, averting her eyes.  “Please, I need you to be reserved.” She said as she activated the door.  “Come.” she said.  Ordered, really.
Gretchen straightened herself and tried to regain some of her carefully schooled serenity.
The tall blond and the bald man that were with Kathryn earlier entered the room and took up positions on either side of her.  They did seem like a security detail.  Both scrutinized her, the man with open curiosity and the woman, well the woman was enigmatic.   Kathryn turned toward the man.
   “Doctor, meet my mother Gretchen.  Mother, this is the Doctor.”
   “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Mrs. Janeway.” The Doctor extended
   “And you as well, Dr…?”
   “Just Doctor.” Kathryn offered with a smile
   “And this is Seven of Nine, my wife.” Kathryn said, her hair falling across her face, obscuring her expression as she turned toward Seven.
Gretchen’s eyes glazed over
   “Seven of Nine.” She repeated. Kathryn looked at her sharply. “Please forgive me.  This is such a surprise.” She smiled warmly. “A lovely surprise.”  Seven merely stared at her for a moment, then extended her hand into the space between them.  Gretchen took it, and fought the urge to hug her, sure that the gesture wouldn’t be accepted by the stoic young woman.
   “I look forward to ‘getting to know you.’” Seven said uncertainly.
   “Me too!” Gretchen replied, trying to contain herself, as Kathryn had asked.  There were so many questions.
   “We should go.” Kathryn asserted
   “Okay.  That sounds good.  Phoebe’s waiting, and impatiently by now, I’m sure.”
Kathryn led them to the transporter pad, Seven still at her elbow, Gretchen now at the other.
   “Seven, did you take care of transporting the alcove?”  Kathryn asked her wife. 
Gretchen repeated this over and over in her head, trying to make it seem real.  ‘She is Kathryn’s wife, her spouse, her… lover.’ She was so confused.  She knew there was more to the woman than her blank, if beautiful exterior.  There had to be an undercurrent of something extraordinary for Kathryn to marry her.
   “I have arranged for it to be delivered after we arrive.”
   “Good, we can install it tonight, then.”  Kathryn said. Seven seemed to shrink a little.
   “Kathryn, I do not believe after the…”
   “Fine.” Kathryn cut her off definitively. “Tomorrow, then.”
Well, there was conflict, Gretchen admitted, but was there passion?  Gretchen suddenly remembered Owen’s words of caution.  What the hell did all of this mean?

After they transported to the Bloomington station, they took a hovercar to the farm itself.  Gretchen chatted idly with the doctor in the seat beside her as she drove, but her eyes never left Kathryn for very long.  And she didn’t miss when Seven of Nine discreetly reached for her daughter’s hand.  She merely laid her metal streaked fingers lightly on top of Kathryn’s on the seat between them.  It could have been an accidental brush if the blonde had pulled away, but she hadn’t until they drove up to the farm.  Kathryn seemed to be in lost in thought, and didn’t realize they had arrived until Seven of Nine opened the door for her and reached for her arm to help her out. 
Chivalry? Gretchen gawked inwardly.  Kathryn wasn’t the type to fall for that, was she?  Her daughter hesitated to get out of the car. 
   “Mother?  Will you go explain to Phoebe, please.  We’ll be in shortly.”
   “Of course, Darling.” She acquiesced. 

   Seven’s eyes never left Kathryn, and when the door shut behind Gretchen, she dropped to her haunches and held Kathryn by the shoulders.
   “Is it bad?” she asked gravely
   “Not yet.  Just give me half.” Kathryn said, dropping her head to her chest.  “Doctor?”
   “Captain, earlier today was a close call.” He said apologetically
   “I know.  Just another hour or two.” She caught his hesitation and raised her head to glare at him.  “How many times do we have to go over this?  Do it!” she shouted, her voice husky and near breaking.  The doctor pulled a hypospray out of his bag and set it for a half dosage.  She exposed her neck to him and he didn’t need to even look anymore as he pulled her uniform collar down slightly and pressed the device against the already bruised and swollen flesh at the base of her neck.  She swore that one ugly bruise was better than dozens of smaller ones.  Or at least more easily explained away.
   “Thank you, Doctor.” She said, pushing herself out of her seat.  “You’re going to like my sister.  She adores opera.” Kathryn offered with a quick wink.  “Seven, are you ready?” she asked, touching the small of her back. 
   “I am ready for anything you are.” Seven said, taking a deep breath.
   “And more.” Kathryn added.
   She made her way to the door carefully, still waiting for the affects of the injection to take hold.  As the burning along her spinal column resided with each step, she allowed herself a crooked grin and flung the door open.   The smells assaulted her senses first.  She could identify all of her favorite foods from childhood: caramel brownies, coffee cake, gyro sandwiches, crab cakes, broccoli and bacon salad, and fresh French bread.
   “Phoebs!” she exclaimed, catching sight of her sister bent over, poking her head in the oven. 
   “Kats!” she screamed, running to the front door, trying to put on the brakes at the last second, remembering that her sister wouldn’t be able to hold the weight of someone jumping into her arms.  Seven stepped through the doorway in time to hear screaming and a tall woman hurdling towards Kathryn.  She panicked and insinuated herself between her between them, bracing for impact.  Phoebe was so startled at the speed of the blond Amazon that she forgot to stop herself and collided soundly with the wall of woman, throwing her arms around the stranger’s waist to keep herself upright. 
   “My sister.” Kathryn explained to Seven as she helped to disentangle the two long-limbed women.
   “Kats, this is some bombshell you snagged yourself.  Speedy as hell, too.  I bet she can beat you at Velocity.” She babbled as she threw her arms around the person she had originally intended.  Suddenly the taller redhead shuddered.
   “Phoebs, don’t.” Kathryn ordered. “Everything’s fine now.    I…  don’t cry…  Phoebe?”
   “Okay.  Hold on a second.” She wiped her face on Kathryn’s tunic then pulled away and smiled “See?  Never happened!” she exclaimed. 
   “You’re a rock.” Kathryn teased
   “You’re a giant, big sister.  Seriously, did you shrink out there?” Phoebe eyed her sister speculatively.  “The artificial gravity get to you or something?”
   “You’ve been listening to too many hero stories about me.  I’ve always been this height.”
   “Geez, they ration you too?” she teased, a little alarmed by the lack of curves and the abundance of angles her sister now possessed.  A shadow passed across Kathryn’s face, and she knew she shouldn’t have brought it up.
   “Guess what I made for you!” She demanded, pulling Kathryn toward the huge kitchen. 
   “Everything I could possibly dream of and more.”
   “Correctomundo.  Try this, Kats.” Phoebe suddenly had a spoonful of something orange and was waving it in front of Kathryn’s face.  Kathryn snapped and caught the spoon, her eyes opening wide with delight.
   “Vanilla pudding… with chipotle?”  Kathryn had to turn to locate Phoebe.   She caught her with a spoon in front of Seven’s face.
   “Phoebs!” she admonished, but couldn’t help laughing at the look on Seven’s face. “Seven, it’s quite good, maybe you should try it.”  Seven stepped back a pace where Phoebe could not shove the spoon in her mouth as soon as she opened it and said
   “I do not require nutrition at this time.”
   “Nutrition is hardly the purpose, now is it.” Phoebe teased
   “That’s Seven’s ‘polite but firm’ refusal.” Kathryn smiled
   “What about you, Doctor?” she asked sweetly, wagging the spoon in his general direction. 
He had taken up a post at the entrance of the kitchen.
   “I’m a hologram.” He explained
   “Well that’s unfortunate considering how good of a cook I am.”
Kathryn suddenly looked chagrinned. 
   “I just realized I haven’t made any proper introductions.  Seven, my insufferable sister Phoebe, Phoebs, my ‘bombshell’ wife, Seven of Nine.
   “Howdy.” Phoebe offered. “I’d hug you again, but I get that you’re the strong silent type.”
   “I am pleased to meet you.  Kathryn alluded to your… personable nature.  I was not prepared for the reality of the situation.  I apologize for assaulting you.”
Phoebe laughed
   “Well that’s kind of you, as it was really me who was attacking you, but whatev.  Anything that makes my sister happy is A OK with me.”
   “I am of the same philosophy.” Seven stated
   “Perfect.  We’ll be great friends, then.”
   “And this is the Doctor.” Kathryn interjected
   “It’s great to meet you Doctor.” A wistful look crossed her face, “I’ll just thank you now and every day hereafter for keeping my sister alive.”
   “It hasn’t been easy.” He sighed.  Kathryn glared at him, but Phoebe almost laughed at his put upon tone, then realized it wasn’t a joke. 
   “Yup, she’s a troublemaker, that one.  Redheads always are.” Phoebe responded awkwardly.
   “The data I have collected tends to corroborate that statement.” Seven said.
Kathryn smirked, amazed that Seven knew just what to say to lighten the mood.
   “You don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, Seven.” Phoebe sighed, shaking her head.
   “Where’s Mom?” Kathryn asked
   “I think she’s allowing us a moment.”
   “Well we’ve had quite a few moments, haven’t we.  I think it’s time we get her back down here and eat!”  Kathryn laughed, trying to move the evening along.