She was alone. Alone in the Delta Quadrant. Alone on Voyager and alone in her quarters. She looked at the glass in her hand. It was empty. She glanced over her shoulder and noticed there were now two empty bottles on the table behind her. Kathryn walked stiffly over to the dining room table and carefully set down her glass. She stared at the bottles intently for several moments, as if considering whether or not her mind were sufficiently numb yet. Right now the intrepid star fleet captain simply wished to feel nothing. Silence. She craved a few blessed moments of inner peace. A time and place where there was no pain and no regret. Finally, she executed an about face and returned to her mindless vigil.

 She wrapped her arms around her shoulders and held on tightly. It was as if she were trying to keep herself from disappearing. She squeezed her eyes shut as an imperceptible sigh escaped her lips. Despite her best efforts to the contrary, Kathryn Janeway remembered and the pain was as raw and as fresh as it had been the first time she felt it.

 She recalled the cold, the snow, and the intense physical pain that wracked her spare frame. She flinched at the blinding whiteness of the sun on ice. Ice that was like glass encasing the black depths of subzero waters. Her nails dug into her palms, nearly drawing blood as she felt once again the despair and the loss that enveloped her as the broken shuttle slipped beneath the depths of the hungry sea. Then she began to shudder from head to toe as she remembered her greatest failure, accompanied by the mind-numbing grief and desolation of having not been good enough.

 The petite auburn-haired woman built a wall around her heart that day. She decided that whomever said it was better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all, was a gods-be-damned fool. A raving idiot who had obviously never been in love at all. She laughed. It was a painful sound, like razor blades on glass.

 Oh, the irony of it all. Even when she played it safe she lost. Even foregoing love for the sake of simple companionship had backfired on her. To think she had been so easily forgotten, so easily cast aside. She thought Mark had loved her and would always be there for her. She didn’t think he knew what she felt for him was just friendship. She’d tried so hard to fool him, to fool herself into believing it was enough. Hah! She was the one who was fooled. He must have been using her. He’d certainly cast her aside quickly enough when Voyager went missing. She deserved it though, didn’t she? After the way she had treated him as a child and as a young woman, always taking him for granted. Always looking down on him as if she were so much better than he could ever hope to be. Oh, how he must have enjoyed telling her he was married to someone else, a much younger woman.

Kathryn laughed again; she laughed until she sobbed. She laughed until she felt something tear, until something came loose inside. She felt the tiles that formed the mosaic of her life shatter and spill across the floor. Somehow she didn’t think she would ever be able to fit them all back together again and at this point she wasn’t even sure she wanted to.

 She vaguely registered the fact that someone was requesting entrance to her quarters. She didn’t respond. After a few more moments she heard the door swish open and someone entered her living area unannounced.

 Kathryn didn’t need to turn around. She knew who had invaded her self-imposed exile. She knew the sound of her step, the scent of her shampoo, even the rhythm of her steady breathing. The uninvited guest halted a few paces behind her Captain and waited. She was a very patient person and Kathryn Janeway was worth waiting for whether “she” thought so herself or not.

 “Do you know what day it is?” Janeway asked her visitor in that low, husky tone which was unique to her alone. “Today...Today is the twentieth anniversary of the death of my fiance, Justin Tighe and my father.” The Captain rasped. A bittersweet smile ghosted slowly across her lips as she continued to speak. “My father always used to call me his ‘Little Golden Bird’. He would toss me up in the air when he said it and then catch me as I laughed in delight. Yet, as I grew older we lost that special closeness and I started to feel as though I were a disappointment to him. As if he had wanted someone else for a daughter. Someone I could never hope to be. I was such a foolish young woman, because you see...he always loved me. He loved me so much! I was just so focused on myself and how I thought he should show it, that I never even realized how very much he cared. All those years and I never could see it. It’s funny how tragedy can open one’s eyes. Though ironically, the insight usually comes far too late to make a difference.”

 “Then there was Justin, my fiance. He was so brave and so strong. He overcame everything that fate could throw at him, except me. I remember the look in his eyes as he slowly slid beneath the water. He seemed, surprised at first, then he just smiled sadly and reached out to me and said ‘I love you, Katie.’ Then he was gone. They were both gone.”

 “I could have saved him, but I didn’t. I couldn’t choose. I was so selfish. I wanted them both! So I tried, as I usually do, to bend destiny to suit my wants and needs and condemned the two people I loved above all others to a horrible death.”

 Janeway shook her head slowly and choked back a sob. The sudden silence was deafening. The other woman continued to wait. Finally Janeway spoke again. “Today is also the second anniversary of the day Mark let me go. ‘Vulky’ ole Hobbs Johnson. Even he forgot me as soon as he could.

 I’m tired. So tired and so empty. I don’t know what to do...I don’t know what to do...” A gut wrenching sob wracked the Captain’s small frame as she lifted her fist to her mouth and bit down hard to hold back the dam that was threatening to burst.

 At last, the silent watcher moved forward to rest strong hands on the Captain’s shoulders. “Kathryn. I believe you are mistaken. You are not alone. I am here with you.” She murmured in a soothing tone of voice. She met the Captain’s gaze in the glass of the window. Blue eyes looked deeply into the Captain’s soul.

 Finally, Kathryn Janeway raised a trembling hand to trace over the Borg implant on Seven’s brow. The hand at last came to rest on the taller woman’s shoulder.

 The Captain smiled wanly up at the beautiful blonde. “Why are you here Seven? Why do you keep coming back for more? No matter how many times I push you away, no matter how many times I speak harsh words without a care for how they might hurt you...No matter how dark my moods get, still you come back for more. What do you want from me Annika? What could I possibly offer you? I don’t know if I’m even capable of loving another person anymore.” She said sadly as her voice trailed away to nothing.

 Seven smiled gently as she tucked a stray lock of auburn hair behind the Captain’s ear. “While I may not recall much about my childhood, there is one conversation I had with my mother shortly before I was.... assimilated by the Borg which, I still remember clearly.”

 “It was a conversation regarding my grandmother. She was a strong willed woman who was highly temperamental. Not entirely unlike yourself, Kathryn.” The Borg added somewhat teasingly. Kathryn just snorted and glared briefly at the young woman as she continued her story.

 “She and my mother never got along well. They always disagreed with one another and neither was ever willing to compromise. Then one day my grandmother had a stroke and without warning, she was gone.

 The day of the funeral my mother asked my grandfather how he ever managed to put up with his headstrong and demanding wife for all those years. My grandfather just smiled and patted my mother on the shoulder. Then he said. “I loved her and that was all that truly mattered.”

Seven smiled tenderly at the small auburn-haired woman and said. “It’s just that simple Kathryn. I love you.” Having at last bared her soul the tall blonde leaned over, and taking Kathryn’s head between her hands, kissed her gently on the lips.

 The Captain placed her hands on Seven’s shoulders and pushed backwards in a last attempt to fend of the inevitable. “No.” She protested raggedly as a single tear overflowed her lashes and scalded its way down her cheek.

 “Yes.” Seven replied firmly as she wrapped strong arms around the other woman’s lithe waist and pulled her firmly against her body. Kathryn gasped involuntarily as soft breasts pressed against her own. Bending slightly the blonde pressed her lips against a shell-like ear and whispered.

 “All you have to do...” A soft kiss caressed an ear lobe. “Is let...” Lips pressed softly against an elegant brow. “Me...” another soft kiss to a tear stained cheek. “Love you...” Fervent kisses then rained down upon velvety lips.

 The smaller woman released a sob as she parted her own lips in surrender and let Seven’s lips and tongue command her. Small yet strong hands wrapped around broad shoulders, as she mindlessly strained upwards, seeking salvation.

 When the two women breathlessly parted some moments later, blue-gray eyes glazed with passion and tears peered up into the sky blue eyes of the young ex-borg. “Seven I...I love you.” She said in breathless wonder. “Let me show you...I want to...”

 “No!” Sensuous lips reprimanded the older woman. “No.” She spoke again softly. “Tonight is not about me. Tonight is about you Kathryn. For this moment in time you are not the Captain. You are not my mentor or my savior. Tonight you are simply...the woman I love. This is not the time for you to give anything to me. I am in control. I will love you. I will shoulder your pain. I will carry your burdens and all you have to do is let go. Can you find the courage to do that Kathryn? Will you trust me? Give yourself up to me completely?” Seven asked as she brushed a thumb gently over lips blushed red with passion’s kisses.

 “Yes.” Was the barely audible reply from the normally fearless Starship Captain. Kathryn Janeway trembled in the other woman’s arms. Forcing her eyes upwards she met Seven’s relentless gaze. “Yes.” She repeated more forcefully. “Please.” She gasped her voice raw with pain and desperate need.

 The tall blonde sighed and smiled with pleasure. “Kathryn.” The word fell from her lips like a prayer. “Kathryn. How I’ve loved you. How I’ve dreamt of this moment for so long.” She captured the beautiful red heads lips again in a savage kiss, lifted the still trembling women effortlessly in her arms, and headed for the Captain’s bedroom.

Seven set Janeway down beside her bed. The light of anticipation showed brightly within her eyes. She leaned in again to capture Kathryn’s lips in a gentle, yet thorough kiss, as she began to reverently undress the woman who held her heart in her hands.

Seven removed the Captain’s sweater, letting fall to the floor. She ran long-fingered hands under her soon-to-be lover’s t-shirt and slid them up a sculpted back to unfasten the black silk bra. Pulling reluctantly away from Kathryn’s lips she removed the other women’s undergarments, leaving her bare to the waist. Kathryn gasped as the cool air hit her breasts, her nipples immediately tightening in reaction.

Slowly Seven began a detailed exploration of her long-awaited prize. She planted tentative kisses from Kathryn’s ear, along her jaw line and then across her shoulders. The Borg’s hands trailed up Kathryn’s sides then around her back to meet at her shoulder blades. From there her fingers continued on their gentle dance of exploration as she mapped out the curves and valleys of her new lover’s body.

 At last, she ran her hands down the Captain’s hips and grasping and squeezing the firm muscles of Kathryn’s behind, pulled the smaller body firmly against her own. She captured the Captain’s lips, yet again, in a searing kiss that left the older woman weak-kneed and gasping for air.

 Kathryn tossed her head back and closed her eyes as she felt torturous Borg lips then abandon her own to begin a tantalizing descent down her body.

 Seven knelt before her love on one knee. Her large hands came up under Kathryn’s breasts, cupping them and then pressing them together. She slowly encircled a rosy-red nipple with her lips and began to suckle gently, while slowly twirling her tongue around the hardened nub in circles. Occasionally pausing to give a sharp nip or scrape her teeth over a swollen bud.

 She alternated from breast to breast as she continued to run her hands almost mindlessly over the now fiercely trembling, Janeway’s body. Her hands mapped out a lazy circuit from shoulder, to hips, to buttocks and back up again, innocently driving Janeway mad with desire.

 Gasps of need and pleasure began to vibrate outward from deep in Kathryn’s depths, as she softly moaned Seven’s name over and over. At last becoming aware of the older woman’s hands pressing down on her shoulders in order to remain standing, the young blonde relented and reached to unbutton the Captain’s trousers.

 “Oh My...” Kathryn cried out as nimble fingers slid inside her waistband and began to slowly lower her slacks and briefs to the floor. Hungry Borg lips followed their descent leaving behind a trail of hot wet kisses along the inside of Kathryn’s thighs. As the red head began to sway unsteadily back and forth, Seven helped her out of her pants and removed her boots. She trailed soft fingertips teasingly up the sides of Kathryn’s body as she stood to her full height once again.

 “Kathryn. You are so beautiful it makes my heart ache just to look at you.” The ex-drone stated breathlessly. Then without warning Seven swept Kathryn off of her feet and laid her gently on the bed.

 Backing away from the bedside Seven began to slowly disrobe, moving the skintight bio-suit down her luscious body one breathtaking inch at a time. Janeway groaned out loud as Seven’s full breasts sprang free, the pale pink nipples tightening as soon as they were wholly revealed for Kathryn’s viewing.

 A wave of heat washed over the Captain’s petite frame as wetness began to well up and seep down her legs. She grasped the bed sheets in a white-knuckled grip, as Seven finally stood gloriously naked before. She could smell the blonde’s arousal and see the wanton hunger in blue eyes now gone dark with desire.

 Janeway swallowed hard as nearly six feet of steamy, blonde Borg glided sensuously toward the bed. “Oh God...” The Captain gasped out again as the taller woman’s weight bore down on the bed. Those seemed to be the only two words Janeway could recall right now. Not that Seven certainly didn’t look every inch the goddess as she leaned regally over Janeway. Then attacked her lips with an unspoken need to devour the object of her desire.

After several breathtaking moments Seven pulled away from Janeway’s lush lips and gazed down at her captain in bright-eyed wonder. She marveled at the subtle beauty of the older woman. Her classic features, the porcelain skin lightly dusted with freckles and the glowing auburn mane which softly framed her face.

 Kathryn looked up at the vision of loveliness above her with slitted eyes. She panted softly her chest rising and falling lightly as she waited anxiously for the younger woman’s next move.

 Seven ran her fingers through Janeway’s hair enjoying its rich texture and full body. Suddenly she bent to bury her face in its warmth feeling the silky strands brush against her cheek like a lover’s caress. “Oh, Kathryn.” She breathed in her lover’s ear. “You are exquisite.”

 “Annika.” Janeway gasped in reply as the Borg’s hot, moist breath caressed her ear. Seven smiled as she nuzzled the other woman’s neck. Then planted light kisses along Janeway’s jaw as she traced a pathway back to her waiting lips.

 The blonde ran her fingertips lightly over Janeway’s bare shoulder and across her collarbone, then feathered them gently over her breasts. Shifting her long, slender body to lay along Kathryn’s left side, Seven continued her journey of erotic exploration.

 As she moved her lips to nibble on Kathryn’s ear lobe, her tongue darting out occasionally to flick its shell-like whorls, her fingers continued slowly downward. They stopped briefly at the back of Janeway’s knee and then traveled back upward to rest on a well-toned thigh. Up and down the Borg’s strong fingers slowly stroked as she once again drawn irresistibly to the older woman’s mouth. She ran her tongue over Kathryn’s lower lip gently requesting entrance. Kathryn opened up to her willingly as her chest began to rise and fall more rapidly.

The Captain’s alabaster arms rose to curl around the Borg’s strong shoulders her fingers digging deeply into her sculpted back, pulling the young woman’s body closer. Kathryn whimpered as their breasts mashed together, Seven’s nipples rasping roughly against her own.

 The Borg’s questing hand came to rest on Kathryn’s mound, her fingers spread widely, pressing downward. She could feel the warm wetness welling up and spilling over to run down Kathryn’s thighs. She could feel the other woman’s hips pressing demandingly upwards as they began to slowly undulate.

 Seven broke their kiss as she gasped from the force of her own rising need. Kathryn pressed her head back against the pillows as tears of long suppressed desire threatened to spill down her cheeks.

 A growl bubbled up from deep within Seven’s chest as she bent her head once again to nip and suck at Kathryn’s neck.

 “Annika. Please...” She sobbed and Seven slowly slid inside the woman she loved. Long, slender fingers caressed the silky walls of Kathryn’s womb as she pushed deeply into the warm wetness.

 The Captain whimpered with increasing need as her hips began to push against Seven’s invading digits, seeking a pleasure she had long denied herself. She was keenly aware of the sultry Borg’s smooth skin plastered against her own. Opening her blue-gray eyes she looked into the depths of Seven’s normally sky-blue gaze gone dark and glowing with an intense desire. Kathryn’s heart began to pound loudly against her breastbone as she struggled to breathe.

“Oh! Oh yes!” She moaned as she soared towards release. Only to find herself suddenly feeling empty and lost. Seven peered intently down at the woman writhing beneath her and smiled wickedly. She grasped Janeway’s wrists in a vise like grip and raised her hands over her head.

 Seven shifted to cover Janeway’s nude body completely with her larger form. Kathryn groaned as Seven’s sweat slick skin slid against hers and the Borg’s full weight pressed heavily down upon her. Seven finally wrapped Janeway’s hands around the bars of the headboard and lowered her head to whisper against her lover’s lips. “Hold on Kathryn and don’t let go.”

 Kathryn sobbed her need out loud as the Borg’s words caused a bolt of electricity to shoot through her body making her womb spasm sharply with desire. Her hips thrust upward of their own volition seeking any possible contact with her partner’s body.

 Seven kissed Janeway forcefully searing the older woman’s lips with the heat of her burgeoning desire. The ex-drone groaned into her lover’s mouth as she felt Kathryn’s moisture smear across her stomach. She instinctively pressed downward grinding her pelvis into the soft body writhing with need below her.

 Kathryn parted her legs allowing Seven’s well-muscled thigh to slide between them and press firmly against her hot, aching sex. Seven grunted with an almost animal pleasure as she gripped Kathryn’s wrists tightly.

 She deepened her kiss as the two women began to thrust harder against each other their hot, sticky wetness quickly coating each other’s thigh.

 Breaking the kiss Seven released Kathryn’s wrists and bracing her hands on either side of her lover’s chest, she pressed upwards bowing her back. Using her newfound leverage she thrust harder, grinding her thigh relentlessly against Kathryn’s swollen sex. She opened her eyes to gaze upon her lover’s beautiful face as she neared her release. The pulse at the base of Kathryn’s neck jumped wildly and her lips were drawn back revealing her teeth in a feral grin. She panted rapidly as she released small grunts of satisfaction and occasionally called upon the gods.

 The rhythm of Kathryn’s hips suddenly grew more frenzied as she thrust upward so violently that she nearly threw the larger woman aside. “Oh God! Annika!” she gasped as she balance once again on the precipice, nearly reaching an exquisite and long awaited release.

 With a strength she didn’t know even she possessed, Seven abruptly stilled her hips denying Kathryn the relief she so dearly craved. “Nooooo!!!” The Captain howled in frustration as she found herself once again denied that which she so desperately needed. “Why! Why! Oh God! Please Annika...I need you so badly, Please...” Kathryn Janeway, at last stripped of all her dignity, her carefully constructed walls quickly crumbling around her...Begged.

“Please, Annika. I need release, please...” The older woman painfully sobbed. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut as she reached for some semblance of control, but it was useless. She was helpless. She lay naked, totally revealed and totally at the mercy of her young lover’s desires.

 Seven bent her head and kissed Janeway sweetly. “Tell me, Kathryn.” She demanded softly, yet firmly. “Tell me and I will grant you release.” She waited silently as Janeway struggled one last time with her need to hold onto her illusion of control. Finally, she opened eyes gone a deep blue and filled with raw emotion and need. A soft smile curled the corners of her lips as she gazed into the Borg’s own sky blue eyes which, remained filled with a gentle, loving patience.

With a final resigned sigh, Kathryn Janeway surrendered completely. “I love you, Annika Hansen.” She breathed into her Lover’s waiting lips. Seven rewarded her with a searing kiss that set her body aflame once again. Her sex throbbed with an unmet need and Seven felt fresh wetness well up against her thigh.

 “Tell me again.” She demanded. “I love you.” The Captain replied with conviction.

 The young Borg laughed delightedly and slowly began to kiss her way down Kathryn’s lightly trembling body. She drug her nipples teasingly across Janeway’s slightly rounded stomach, at last coming to a stop, her head poised above her lover’s slick auburn curls. Kathryn swallowed hard, her eyes grown wide with anticipation and perhaps a bit of fear.

 The Blonde settled between her lover’s thighs and wrapped her arms around Janeway’s hips to hold her still. Without warning she plunged her tongue deeply into Janeway’s slit, feeling the muscles of her inner passage beckon her deeper. Kathryn screamed with unadulterated pleasure.

 The Borg’s tongue began to move in and out, drinking deeply of her lover’s essence. As she vaguely registered the fact that Kathryn’s breathing was coming ever more rapidly, she licked her way upward and enveloped Kathryn’s pulsing clit with her hot, wet mouth. She wrapped her lush, full lips around it and created a firm suction, flicking her tongue rapidly back and forth. This caused Kathryn’s hips to buck helplessly upward as she released another heartfelt scream that reverberated loudly throughout Seven’s skull. Kathryn continued to loudly moan her approval as her hips picked up a steady rhythm, speeding toward her long awaited release.

 Seven ground her own hips into the bedding as she brought her fully human hand downward and thrust three fingers deeply into her lover, moving in and out in a pattern which matched the pace of the older woman’s hips.

 Kathryn grunted with satisfaction as she used her vise-like grip on the bars of the headboard to impale herself more deeply on Seven’s long, strong fingers. “Annika! Oh Yes...Yes!” she howled as she once again approached the abyss. She called on every god she knew, begging them not to let her lover pull away again.

 Smiling, Seven thrust her fingers deeply into Kathryn as she twisted them upward to press against that most tender of spot’s in Kathryn’s womb. As she massaged the ultra sensitive tissue firmly, she increased her suction on Kathryn’s now pounding nub and moved her tongue more rapidly back and forth.

 Kathryn screamed again and again as the waves of pleasure raced through her veins like molten lava. The corded muscles on her forearms stood out in stark relief as she gripped the headboard of the bed, her body arching upwards as time came to a stand still. Kathryn felt as though she hung motionless in space for that one precious moment of time and then she tumbled into the Abyss. Seven’s own screams of release rung loudly in her ears as she plummeted back to earth.

 “Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!” Janeway repeated over and over as she trembled against the bed sheets. Seven’s cheek rested against Kathryn’s thigh as she lay stunned and totally sated, one arm draped across her Captain’s hips.

 A shaky hand gently caressed her flaxen hair. “Annika?” Kathryn whispered

 “Are you all right?” “I...I didn’t know. I didn’t realize...” The young blonde sobbed as she pressed her face against her lover’s thigh to hide her tears.

 Finally, Seven recovered enough to look up at Janeway with eyes filled with love and wonder. “I didn’t realize that giving such pleasure to the one I loved...could also bring me such...joy.”

 Janeway laughed gently. “Caught you by surprise, huh?” She rasped shakily. Seven smiled shyly and blushed as she crawled upward and took Kathryn in her arms.

 The auburn haired woman relaxed into the embrace. Resting her head on the Borg’s shoulder as she wrapped an arm possessively around her slim waist.

 They lay together contentedly, just holding one another closely. After several moments, Janeway spoke softly. “It really is enough isn’t it?” She whispered in a voice filled with awe and joyous wonder. “Yes.” Seven replied pressing a soft kiss against Kathryn’s brow. “Yes, it is enough. It is that simple, Kathryn. I love you, and that will always be enough for me.” Annika Hansen snuggled closer to the woman she loved. Finding peace in her humanity and completeness in her heart.

 “I love you too, Annika.” Kathryn Janeway said as she drifted off to sleep. A sleep free from nightmares and heartache. A sleep that healed her and made her whole again. For with her surrender, lying safely wrapped in the arms of the woman she loved, Kathryn Janeway at last found her salvation.