A Change in the Air
During her long, leisurely stroll up the river to helplessly weep in private, Kathryn Janeway, the starship Voyager's redheaded matriarch, pondered her personal life more in those few, fleeting moments than she thought she had done in the last year. Desperately she fought for what seemed like hours, but was only a little more than forty minutes, to pick up the shattered pieces of her broken heart. It wasn’t the toughest battle she had ever endured, but it ranked high on her ever-growing list. Through tears that blurred her vision and shook her body with maddening fury, she went round and round in her mind, trying to find the best solution to this problem. Her first reaction was to flee. She had spent several minutes trying to figure out how to just walk away from her vacation and her feelings without doing more damage than she felt she had already done. However, for several reasons, most of them regarding the functioning of her ship, and her acute need to take a break from her duties, she had decided to see this through, no matter how trying it would be. Even though she was certain she wouldn’t feel a bit more rested after this trip, she knew that after it was over, getting back to what she knew, what she relied upon…her duty…would be a welcome occurrence, and that was always good for moral. So, after deciding to not run away from the situation, she fought another battle of tears and soul quaking spasms as she thought about how to face Seven and B’Elanna.
Her chief engineer didn’t pose as great of a problem, she figured. She had already come clean with Torres, and since B’Elanna was a woman experienced with romance and attraction, she was fairly certain that all she had to do was pull her aside, tell her that for everyone’s sake, they needed to refrain from any more intimate contact while they were on vacation. The captain really didn’t have it in her to out and out tell Torres that they should refrain from expressing their emotions physically ever again, so she thought if she could just get through a few days of normalcy, she would be in a much better place to broach that subject later. She certainly thought she’d have a much clearer head about it, at least. Of course, she didn’t know how B’Elanna would respond to her, but she had a pretty good feeling that Torres would understand…and for all Janeway knew, Torres would bring it up herself.
The problem staring down the captain right now was Seven of Nine…or rather, herself with the cool blonde. Seven wasn’t someone Janeway felt she could act differently with…no matter how hard she tried to treat the woman like she was simply a regular member of her crew, the cold hard truth was that in all actuality, she was not. She was not Starfleet, she was not Maquis…she was Seven of Nine, and she was Kathryn’s responsibility, solely. Janeway knew that there were other members of the crew that cared for Seven and looked out for her as well, but no one as much as Kathryn. What had started out as some kind of project to restore Seven to Humanity, had turned into something quite the opposite. Now, it felt like the more time she spent teaching Seven how to be an individual, the more the redhead realized that she needed to hear her own lessons on Humanity just as much as Seven did. The captain didn’t know when she had become so far removed for the woman she was before their doomed mission to the Badlands, but it scared the hell out of her when he realized the truth. On her really dark days, sometimes she felt that Seven was probably more Human than she was. The understanding that she was now just as dependent on Seven as Seven was on her left the captain with little choices. She couldn’t switch off for Seven. Not only would she undoubtedly demand an explanation as to the captain’s change in behavior, she would probably just continue to try and show her appreciation for the compact woman. And that was one thing Janeway didn’t think she could take anymore of. Seven’s affection ripped through her defenses as if they were made of tin foil, and no matter what she did, every single time Seven showed her that she was cognizant of the bond growing between them, she could do nothing but go along with whatever Seven wanted or needed to do, holding on tight to the one decision she’d made in the Delta Quadrant that she never questioned. There had been a few moments when she had wondered if she had done the right thing, but mostly just because she was trying to see all sides of the situation. Deep down, Kathryn never, ever believed that severing Seven of Nine from the Collective was a mistake.
As all good captain’s do, she finally made a decision, picked up the remains of her heart that she felt had been ripped out of her body and put on display for all to mock, and headed back to their campsite after she was certain her eyes were dry and no longer showing any signs of her turmoil. There had been a slight moment of awkwardness after she returned, mostly because she had been gone for so long, but it passed with relative ease, and the three women had started their meal without event. The captain had remained fairly quiet, but not pensive, and toward the end of the meal, sipping wine, she was actually laughing with Seven as B’Elanna offered her not-so-kind, but completely accurate in Janeway’s eyes, description of the Borg Queen.
When the laughter died down, Torres said, finishing the remains of her salad, "So, what do you girls want to do tonight…roast marshmallows?"
"Mmm," Janeway responded, pulling the glass from her lips before Seven could respond, "I don't think that's a good idea…there are coyote tracks all over the place up stream…and it's getting pretty cold outside. I saw some clouds building on the horizon earlier…I think it might rain tonight."
"Kathryn, you should not have gone walking alone when there are wild animals afoot," Seven schooled, taking a bite of a tomato, and then wishing she hadn't. Scrunching her face up as if she was eating the most repulsive substance in existence, she chewed for a long as she could and then gulped the criminal vegetable down, reaching for her water to help it along. Then looking at both women who were watching her with a combination of humor and anxiety in their expressions, she explained, "I do not believe I like tomatoes in this form."
"I think 'not like' is an understatement, Seven," Janeway chuckled, then said, "and, the coyotes in this area are completely nocturnal, if you must know."
"How do you know this?" asked Seven, taking the remaining tomatoes in her salad and moving them to the edge of her plate.
Jumping in before Janeway started to feel too mothered, something Torres knew probably wouldn't sit well with her right now, considering the kind of day she has had, she explained, "We've seen them two nights in a row, and at no other time, even though we've been all over this area of the canyon during the day."
"This is unfortunate…I was looking forward to the campfire ritual," Seven said, getting up from the table and programming another glass of water, obviously still tasting the tomato.
"We can still have a campfire, dollface," Torres said. "We'll just have to start them earlier, that's all. You can't say you've been camping unless you've roasted marshmallows, right Red?"
"Absolutely," Janeway responded, pushing her unfinished dinner away. The meal itself had been very good, but as most people who spent any length of time with Janeway when she was feeling stress would attest, her appetite was the first thing to bite the dust. The few that knew her fairly well could further inform accurately that once her appetite went, her ability to sleep wasn’t far behind, and if this went on long enough, her smile became an anomaly rather than a daily occurrence. There were probably less than five people in her life, currently, that also knew that once her smile vanished, so did Kathryn, either physically or emotionally, and at the worst times, both, leaving only a cold, practically unfeeling and unreasonable captain in her place…that is when she was visible. During those rare times, if she wasn’t locked in her office, she was in her quarters…or in the corridors between the two destinations.
While Seven finished her meal, Janeway remained completely silent, and attempted to enjoy her wine, only nodding her head to show that she wasn’t ignoring them as they continued to talk. When Seven finally had her fill of solid nutrition, Torres cleared the table. Finished with her wine, Janeway began to stand up to offer her assistance, but feeling a sharp pain in her neck, another sign of her increasing unease, she winced and sat back down, clutching at her shoulder.
Hearing the distress in the captain's hiss, Seven turned from were she stood, helping Torres place dishes into the replicator and asked, "Kathryn, are you damaged?"
"Mmm," Janeway said, rubbing out the knot in her neck and shoulders that she hadn't realized were extraordinarily tense, "Not quite…I think I'm just getting too old for all of this fun."
"You simply do not allow yourself to regenerate completely. This reaction is your body informing you of your negligence. Age is only a minor factor," Seven explained, looking down at her.
When a cold gust of wind burst through the open door of their habitat, and blew back the captain's blankets that were on her cot, Janeway got up and noted, ignoring Seven’s comments, "Looks like we might be in for a storm."
"Great," Torres said, sulking as it started to rain, "there goes the neighborhood. Are these things waterproof?"
Poking her head out of the doorway, clutching her bare arms as the temperature continued to drop, she said, "Last time I checked." When the wind picked up steam, blowing steadily now, ripping the river and sending the rain spraying into the front of the habitat, Janeway frowned slightly, realizing that this spring thunderstorm might turn out to be a little more troublesome than she first thought. Walking over to her cot, she picked up her duffel and located her tricorder. Just before she went outside and take a look, she heard Seven ask, "Kathryn, what are you doing?" Looking back at Seven, she answered, "I'm going to check on the storm. I'll be right back," as the sky was ignited in a furious electric display. The ominous crackle of thunder that followed caused all three women to twitch in surprise as the deafening rumble shook the ground under their feet steadily for several seconds.
When Janeway continued to proceed outside, Seven followed her saying, quickly, "Kathryn, it is not safe for you to stand out there. Give me the tricorder, and I will take the readings."
Rolling her eyes, Janeway sighed as it began to rain heavily, "Seven, no offense, but you're a walking lighting rod. Go back inside before you get all wet…I'll be fine."
"I will go inside, but I will stand by the door until you return…Kathryn," Seven said, her defiance threading through nicely, informing the captain that as of the moment, they were still on vacation, and she was not in charge.
"Suit yourself," Kathryn said, under her breathe, all though knowing that Seven most likely co uld hear her, even though the rain was coming down harder as the thunder rumbled continuously over their heads. Opening her tricorder, and squatting down, so she wasn't as nice of a target for a supercharged bolt of lightning, and frowned when the atmospheric readings started coming through. Closing the device up, after a few minutes, thankful that it was waterproof, she scurried inside, now almost soaked to the bone. Closing the door behind her, she said, excepting the towel that Seven was holding for her, "Well, I hate to say this…but we better abandon ship until this storm passes."
"Really?" Torres asked, obviously unhappy with that. In truth she had always a little frightened of thunderstorms, although she wasn’t likely to admit it, but the alternative to waiting it out was returning to Voyager…and that was something Torres wasn’t certain she was prepared to do yet. Not only did she not want to see Thomas Eugene Paris for several more days, but she knew that considering the captain’s demeanor, she would be lucky to see her the rest of the night. Even though she too felt slightly on edge, that notwithstanding, there wasn’t a single part of her that wished to be away from the redhead, or Seven of Nine. However, Torres was fairly certain that if they did return to the ship, Seven would undoubtedly spend the evening with her, getting to work immediately on their plan to revive the slipstream project.
"I’m sorry, but this area is prime real-estate for flash flooding, and that storm over head is just getting started," she explained. "I can't take the chance." When Seven and B'Elanna both nodded, Janeway slapped at her comm-badge, "Janeway to Chakotay." When the small device let out a pathetic little chirp and then ceased to function further, most certainly due to the rain, she sighed, then nodded to Seven, who immediately tapped hers, "Seven of Nine to Commander Chakotay."
"Chakotay here…what is it, Seven?" came the soft, comforting voice of the ship's first officer.
"The captain wishes to speak with you…please stand by," Seven said, removing her comm-badge and handing it to Janeway, who was beginning to shiver slightly due to the cold rain that had soaked her thin clothes and hair.
"Chakotay, do you read me?"
"Go ahead, Kathryn."
"Looks like we’re in for some severe weather. The storm passing over this area is a high precipitation, supercell. I'm not picking up an evidence of mesocyclonic activity, but there is significant upflow, and the possibility of microbursts and damaging straight-line winds. I hate to do this, but flash flooding is too much of a threat. I want you to gather the crew and have them beamed aboard Voyager immediately," Janeway ordered, already making the transition back to command mode. "Have them take what they can, but don't worry about leaving the habitats…we'll just have to take care of the clean up later".
"Acknowledge…what about the three of you?"
"We'll be right behind you. I'll contact you again from Voyager. Janeway out." Then handing the communicator back to the Borg, she said, "Thank you."
Staring at Kathryn, Torres said, hands on her hips, "Mesocylonic?"
"It’s a meterological term. No mesocyclone…no tornadoes," the captain explained, rubbing the towel in her hair.
"It there anything you aren’t at expert at?" Torres inquired, folding her hands over her chest, truly impressed, yet again.
"Let me get back to you on that one," Janeway smirked. Throwing the towel onto her bed, she scurried, shivering into the back part of the habitat, changing into a pair of dry jeans, and said, "Alright, gather as much stuff as you can…and we'll just leave the rest…and hope we don’t have to spend the rest of the week trying to locate it all." Just as she was zipping up her pants, the rain started coming down in thick sheets of water, and a strong gust of wind blew open the door to the habitat, splashing muddy rain all over the floor and drenching the foot of the captain’s cot. Hurriedly putting on her river sandals, she rushed out front to help Seven and B'Elanna push the door closed.
"Kahless," B'Elanna huffed as the door was finally closed. Putting the security seal on it, hoping it would hold as their habitat started to feel more like a tin can about to be crushed at any moment from the force of the rain and the wind, she said, "I'm no weather expert, but I think it's getting worse."
"Agreed," Seven said, standing near the door and keeping her Borg enhanced hand on it, prepared in case the seal gave way, urging Torres to stand behind her and out of harm’s way.
Grabbing Torres' communicator that was sitting on the small table near her cot, she said, walking up to her, "Put this on."
"Aye, Captain," Torres nodded, seeing the worried expression on Janeway's face and recognizing the tone, she answered appropriately.
"Seven, contact Voyager and request a beam out," Janeway ordered, standing in between them.
Tapping her comm-badge with her free hand as the habitat began to creak and rock steadily as the wind pounded the outside mercilessly, the cool blonde said, "Seven of Nine to Voyager." When no one responded immediately, she tapped the communication device more solidly and requested, her voice crisp and demanding. "Seven of Nine to Voyager, respond."
Sighing, Janeway nodded to Torres, who immediately repeated Seven's query with the same, unfortunate result. "Damn," Janeway bit off, walking away from the group, rubbing her forehead with her hand, feeling the beginnings of a major headache. Forcing her brain into action, she snapped, "B'Elanna, try to use the spare tricorder to boost our signal. It's possible that all the lightening in the area is disrupting our communications." Turning around after she heard Torres march into the back of the habitat, trying to locate the spare tricorder, Janeway peered at Seven as her Astrometrics officer stared directly at the door, silently, almost as if she was looking through it. Curious and concerned, she asked, coming up to her, "What's the matter?"
Not looking away from the door, keeping her focus on something unseen, she answered, flatly, "The river has risen. I can hear it moving swifter."
"Can you tell how much?" Janeway asked, deep furrows forming in her forehead while as looked at the door and then back at Seven a couple of times.
"No."
"What's wrong?" questioned the stocky brunette, coming out of the back with her tools and the tricorder, sitting at the table.
"Seven says the river is rising," Janeway said, grabbing her tricorder from the bed and opening it, trying to get some kind of reading. "Damn…I can't get a clear reading through the habitat at this distance…there's too much electromagnetic interference in the air." Releasing the seal on the door, she said, "Too bad I didn't bring a rain coat."
Holding the door closed, Seven said, "Kathryn, do not go out there. It is not safe. We will find another way."
Tensing, she said, her words clipped, "Seven, I'm not going to have this conversation with you. There is no time to think of another way. I have to check on the river and the progress of the storm. How's that communicator coming, Lieutenant?"
"Couple more minutes, Captain," Torres said, not looking up and staying far out of yet another battle of wills between the Borg and the captain.
"Good…as soon as it's done, try to contact Voyager…don't wait for me if I'm not back. Seven," Janeway said, looking up, "I need you to stand by this door and keep a look out of me, alright?"
"Yes, Captain," Seven responded, nodding, understanding that she should comply with Janeway for several reasons, even if she was not at all pleased that the captain was risking herself. Inflaming the situation by irritating the captain would not help them, and would more than likely cause Janeway to act more hastily than she already tended to do. And if that caused anyone, except herself, harm, Seven would not be able to live with that with any ease.
"Can you still modify your optical implant so you can see in the dark?" ask Janeway, uncertain, knowing as the years progressed the more technological abilities the woman lost as her body rejected her harsh reminders of her time with the Collective.
Quickly doing as she was asked, Seven said as her vision changed to that of a flat, green plane, "It is done."
"Thank you…alright…just stand here and keep an eye out for me. If I get in trouble…I'll call out to you." Then smiling some, she said, "I'm sure you won't have a problem hearing me." Opening the door when Seven stood back, she brought her hands to shield her eyes from the wind and rain, having to struggle to continue forward against the force.
"Please be careful," Seven said, quietly before the older woman stepped out into the storm.
"This is why they pay me the big bucks, Seven," Janeway grinned, then nodded at her, and ran outside.
Seven immediately took her position keeping her eye on Janeway as best she could. There was little ambient lighting outside since this planet had no satellites to illuminate the night sky, so her night vision did little to help, but it was better than what her normal, human vision would have been able to do. Primarily relying on her superhuman hearing, she focused her energy on filtering out the rain, the wind, the rush of the river, and small tinkering sounds of B'Elanna behind her, and just concentrated on the sounds the captain was making, which were rather profane in nature as she was pelted with the unforgiving rain, and splashed with mud by the now saturated ground. When the captain's cursing ceased, Seven held her breath for a moment, but then exhaled as she heard a series of beeps that were undoubtedly being emitted from the tricorder. Then seeing the small, green light from the device though her night vision, Seven got an exact fix on the captain. When cloud to cloud lightning filled the sky with a wondrous array of purples and blues, Seven closed her eyes, the blinding light painful to her ultra sensitive acuity. Almost immediately, she heard Janeway yell to her, "Seven…disengage the night vision! I don't need you blinded." Doing as she was told, she opened her eyes again to the pitch blackness, but as the electricity filled the entire sky again, its frequency increasing, she was able to keep her eyes opened and spot the captain easily.
Crouched low, practically sitting in a pool of water and mud, Janeway took her readings of the situation. The data was not coming as quickly since every time the lightning filled the sky, the sensors were scattered for just a moment. Finally, after what seemed like half an eternity, but was only less than a minute, she was able to determine that the water had risen less than half a meter, but it was definitely moving swifter since the last time she took readings when they first beamed down to survey the area. Then turning the device to the heavens, she laid on her stomach as the danger of lightening increased, cursing the universe for continuing to test her reserve. "Why can't I just once…just once, get a goddamned break, huh? I’m lying in the mud with god knows what crawling around out here…trying not to keep my ass from being burnt to a crisp…are you quite happy now?"
Getting an accurate reading on the storm took her about three more minutes. After modifying the tricorder’s sensors to their lowest level, which was the only setting that kept the device from becoming overloaded each time the sky was set ablaze, she was not surprised to find out the worst part of the storm had yet to pass over them. At the speed in which it was moving, she knew they had less than ten minutes to be beamed out, or hunker down and hope the river didn’t overflow its shallow banks. About to stand, but changing her mind as a rather large lightening bolt impacted with a tree at the top of the canyon wall, approximately fifty meters to the right of her, but several hundred meters higher, she stuck the tricorder in her back pocket and crawled on her stomach to the door of the habitat, where Seven was waiting for her, looking as ill at ease as Janeway had seen her in a few months. Then standing and looking down at her mud covered body, resisting the urge to curse again, she ordered, walking inside and allowing Seven to close the door, "Report."
"It's no use, Captain…I've tried everything I can think of…there's too much interference. We could try it outside, but these communicators don’t work worth a damn once their wet," Torres said, grabbing the towel from the captain‘s cot and handing it to her.
Wiping off her face and throwing the towel down, not pleased, she said, spinning around, "Seven…can you modify your cortical node…and try to pick up one of Voyager's frequencies? Try to find out if the rest of the crew made it back."
"I will try, Captain," Seven said, instinctively looking up, squinting her eyes, obviously trying to filter out the static electricity noise. An instant before the rest of them heard the monstrous crackle of lightening, Seven shrieked in pain, her face contorting with her agony.
When Seven fell to her knees, bringing her hand to her head, Janeway rushed over to her, on her knees as well, putting her muddy hand over Seven's hand that was pressed against her forehead, "Seven…turn it off!" When she could tell that Seven had done as she was requested, she asked, her voice full of worry and apologies, "Seven…Seven…are you alright?" When Seven did not respond immediately, she said with a little more authority, "Seven…please, answer me." But still, Seven didn’t acknowledge her hails. It was clear that she was conscious since she continued to squeeze her eyes and hold her hand to her head, but it was not clear if she was lucid, or if she could hear Kathryn. Her heart now firmly lodged in her throat, Kathryn did the only thing she could think to do at this moment. She took a deep breath and barked as harshly as she ever had before, willing the Borg back to her, "Seven of Nine…respond! Comply, dammit!"
Opening her eyes wide to see Kathryn’s stormy grey eyes pinning her with the captain’s level ten stare, she said, shaking her head, "I am…functioning, Captain." When Janeway’s face changed from one of steel to one of worry, she reassured, "That was…unpleasant…but I am...undamaged."
Sighing with relief, and helping the Borg have a seat on her cot, she said, clasping Seven's head in her hands, "I'm sorry…I should have anticipated that…are you sure you’re alright?"
"Yes. What is our situation?" Seven asked as the searing pain in her skull began to slowly abate with more than a little help from the captain’s hands still clasped around her face.
Releasing Seven, Janeway stood, wiping more dirt from her face, futilely, and said, "The river has risen less than half a meter, but it won’t take much more rain like this and the water will be at our front door. Since we can't contact Voyager, we're going to have to ride it out. I can't risk trying to make it to higher ground…there's too great a risk that you'll be struck by lightning." Fighting the urge to wrap her arms around herself to keep from shivering, she said, "B'Elanna, get the inflatable raft from my survival pack. Don't inflate it, but keep it handy. I want you to replicate some rope and tie yourself together…after you put on some sturdy clothes and shoes…and gather as much food and water as you can, and combine it into one survival pack. I want a working communicator, tricorder, phaser, if we have one, your tools, sunscreen, and anything else you can find in case we have to go down the river. I'm going back outside and try to get the awning down, in case we need the blankets."
"Aye, Captain," Torres said, snapping into movement, finally breathing now that she knew Seven wasn’t seriously injured.
When the blonde started to push herself up, but was clearly still feeling disoriented, Janeway said, "Seven, just relax. I'll need all of your Borg efficiency if the situation gets worse…so just rest right now, alright?"
"I will comply," Seven moaned, leaning back against the wall, holding her head.
Nodding, not having time to worry about Seven, just hoping that if her cortical node was damaged beyond repair, she would tell her, Kathryn opened the door, shielded her face and rushed outside. What was left of the awning was barely hanging on by a thread. It took several attempts, but she was finally able to jump at just the right moment and grab the section that was flapping in the wind against the habitat, yanking as hard as she could. The thin rope holding the durable, silver blanket in place gave way fairly easily, and in a huff, the already muddy redhead didn't mind too much when she feel backward as the thermal sheet came loose. The blanket was of little use to them right now since it was damp from the rain, its waterproofing obviously impaired by B’Elanna’s earlier reconstruction, but if they did have to brave the river, Kathryn had no idea how far down stream they would end up, and she didn't want to get caught without any kind of blanket during one of this high desert's frigid nights. Pulling out her tricorder again, staying on her knees, she took a few minutes to take another reading of the river and the storm.
The situation was not getting better.
Now with the worst of the storm just minutes away, that section of the supercell undoubtedly planning on dumping them with even more torrents of rain, the river had risen another sixteenth of a meter. With the rate it was rising compared to the very slight incline of land that was just outside their door, Janeway knew that if the river rose only another forth of a meter, they’d be ankle deep in water in no time. Estimating that the main part of the storm would probably raise the water another sixteenth…or possible an eight, she figured that they had about a half an hour, if the rain kept up, before they were in serious trouble. A half and hour was not very long, but Janeway also knew that there was still a chance they’d be fine. Thunderstorms were anything if they were fast movers, and this one wasn’t an exception. As long as it kept moving and more didn’t build behind it, a half an hour just might be long enough to save her from having to do something she absolutely did not want to do: go down an unfamiliar, flooding river with two women that barely knew how to swim.
Crawling back inside, she didn't even realize she had cut her exposed forearm on a rebel stick until Torres came up to her saying, "Are you alright?" Looking down, seeing the crimson line of fresh blood trickling down to her elbow and dripping slowly on the ground, she said, "Oh." Not worried about getting dirt in the wound since she was now covered from head to toe, front and back, with mud, she wiped the blood away with the towel, taking stock of the wound. It was only a scratch…just one of those ones that tended to look worse than they really were. "I'll be fine," she said, brushing it off. Putting her tricorder in her back pocket, and stuffing what was left of the blanket into the survival pouch, she grabbed the rope sitting on the table, and said, tying it around B'Elanna's waist, "The river is still rising…and the worst is almost upon us." Tying the knot and pulling it tight, she looked at B'Elanna and said, "If we are forced to use the raft, this will help keep us all together. If one of you goes overboard, remember to let your body relax. Try to put your feet out in front of you to protect your vital organs. We'll pull you in." Once she was happy that B'Elanna's knot was as tight as she could possibly make it, she took the other end over to Seven who was still sitting down. When Seven moved to stand, Janeway put her hand on her shoulder, urging her to remain seated. Kneeling in front of Seven and repeating her knot around the Borg's small waist, she said, "If, for some reason, this rope breaks, and you end up in the water, alone…just do the same thing, and I will come and get you…just remember not to panic, alright?"
"Yes, Captain," they both said in unison.
Replicating another piece of robe, she attached that piece to the other one so that they would have plenty of range of movement once she secured herself. As the habitat began to be pounded even harder by the wind and rain, the center of the storm now right over them, the captain requested that Torres go sit by Seven so that all of them would be near the door if they had to make a quick escape. When their fairly durable habitat began to shimmy and groan under the assault, Janeway hurriedly tied her end of the rope around her waist as tight as she could stand without cutting off her circulation, and braced herself against the door, holding it shut as it bounced inward steadily, the security seal being pushed to its limits against the awesome force of nature. As murky water began to seep slowly underneath the door where the seal had been compromised, she cursed, somewhat under her breath, when the distinct sound of hail began pounding and denting the roof, "Shit."
"What is that?" asked Seven, getting to her feet and pulling Torres with her toward the door.
"That’s hail…that means that there is a significant difference in the air masses of this storm," Janeway explained, looking down at her feet trying to judge if the water coming in was from the river, or just from pooled water. Since the hail was pelting the metal top of their shelter, she was having trouble making out if she could hear rushing water.
"That’s good right…frozen rain won’t make the river rise as fast?" Torres asked, coming over to Janeway and holding the door with her, able to feel the wind pressing against the thin paneling underneath her hands.
"It’s not necessarily good…but it does decrease the chance of flooding," Kathryn said, trying to keep the dread out of her tone. Putting her hand on Seven’s back, she requested, "Seven…I know you’re hurting, but I need you to stand here and listen…you’re the only one who can."
Seven merely nodded, and focused all her resources to listening to the storm outside. Then curious, she asked, "What is it that I am listening for?"
As the hail started to come down in larger pieces, she took a quick breath, knowing she couldn’t keep the truth from them, and answered, "A change in the sound of the wind. Inform me at once of any dramatic increases…or if you hear a suction sound. Do you understand?"
"Yes," said Seven, turning back to her task, determined to not fail.
"Suction?" Torres gasped, as this situation started to take shape. "You’re taking about a tornado!"
Untying the knot around her waist, she nodded. Then gathering their things and walking behind Torres, putting the pack on the Klingon’s back, she said, "It’s a possibility." Rubbing her arms to stimulate heat for a second, she said, "If that happens, I want you to immediately go into the ensuite in the back, understood."
"We can’t all fit back there, Captain."
"No…but you and Seven can," Janeway untying the knot around B’Elanna’s waist, having a hard time since her hands were ice cold. "There’s still a possibility of a flood, but I can’t have us all tied together right now." When she sensed that the brunette was about to protest, she grabbed her by the arms and said, "B’Elanna, I want you to go into the ensuite and wait. If I send Seven back there, then I want you to hang on to each other and don’t let go for anything. Is that clear?"
"Yes, Ma’am," Torres nodded, scared. When Kathryn turned just the edge up her lips up, and squeezed her shoulders, Torres spun immediately and went into the small bathroom.
Scurrying over to Seven, and untying the knot around her waist, she asked, "How does it sound?"
"It is chaotic, Captain," Seven explained, not looking away from the door, "but there has been none of the changes you explained."
Pressing her ear to the door, Janeway looked down at the muddy water on the floor. It was still trickling in, but it wasn’t significant enough to be from the river. As her teeth started to chatter uncontrollably, she closed her jaw hard and wrapped her arms around chest, forcing the shivering to be focused silently through her body as she listened to the wind and hail pound their habitat, testing it for all it was worth. So intent on what she was doing, she barely flinched when Seven of Nine wrapped her human hand around her shoulders and pulled her into the space between herself and the door. Suddenly concerned, she asked, "What is it?"
Now wrapping her arm around the captain’s chest and pulling her back into her body, she said as the hail abated, "You are uncomfortable. I am attempting to compensate by warming you with my body heat."
"Then you’ll be wet and muddy as well," Janeway argued.
Holding her tighter, she said, "My nanoprobes will adapt…as for the mud…it is irrelevant."
Smirking, she gave up and allowed herself to be caressed by Seven. It didn’t do much to warm her body, but it did wonders on her heart. There really was no way she could resist Seven…she always had a logical comeback…no matter what the situation, and was never worried about expressing her opinion. Keeping Seven’s arm close to her body, she eased them forward as she pressed her ear to the door again, and said, "I think the worst it over." Sliding out of the embrace, she said, "Go tell B’Elanna she came come out now. Stay close to the door…it’s still raining heavily…we’re not out of the woods yet. I’m going to go check on the river again."
When the captain returned from the rain, now not a single part of her body not soaked through, she said, closing the door and looking upon Seven and Torres who were huddled at the top of the captain’s cot, "I think any possibility of tornadoes has passed, but it’s still raining pretty hard. I’m not sure how much more the river can take." After using the towel to wipe the water from her face and arms, she grabbed the rope off the floor, handing it to Torres and said, "Tie yourselves up again…just in case." Then taking up a steady post near the door, putting her ear to it and listening, she flinched when Torres came up behind her, wrapped her arm around her waist and tied the other end of the rope to her.
"Can you tell if the river is rising?"
"No," Janeway whispered, looking over her shoulder and glancing down at what B'Elanna was doing. Her smile crooked, she said, "Guess I forgot that part."
"Typical super-hero behavior," Torres smiled. When she heard Seven moan behind her, she turned around and asked, "You okay, dollface?"
"I believe the term is called 'having a headache,'" Seven said, rubbing her temples. "Kathryn, if this is anything similar to what you went through when those aliens were conducting experiments on the crew, you have my sympathies."
"B'Elanna, there should be a hypospray in the medkit…get it for me, please," Janeway requested, taking a seat next to Seven.
"I do not believe it is wise to waste our supplies for a headache, Captain…I will adapt," Seven stated, forcing her face to remain smooth, but the small squint in her eyes betrayed her.
Taking the hypospray from Torres, and putting it to Seven's neck, she said, "You can thank me later."
For the next hour they were on pins and needles. Every fifteen minutes, Janeway would untie herself and take more readings of the river. For the first half an hour, the water had risen another eighth of a meter, and at that point, Janeway was fairly certain that they were in trouble, but after another fifteen minutes of deathly quiet waiting, Janeway had gone back outside to see that the worst of the precipitation had passed over them. It was still raining but at least it wasn't coming down in torrential downpours. The threat of lightening hadn’t subsided though, so she knew it was still too risky to move from the shelter that the habitat provided. Her body now stiff and uncontrollably tense due to the cold and the stress, she had finally given into the need for warmth and wrapped herself up in her blanket, knowing that she was getting mud and gunk all over it, but beyond caring at this point. Torres has replicated her a mug of coffee, and before she had a chance to protest, saying she didn't have time to sit and have a cup of coffee, Torres set the cup down with an audible thud and said, "You can thank me later." Knowing she would do them little good if her body seized up do to hypothermia, she bite back her protests or any comments to the woman's behavior, as far as ordering the captain to do something, and gulped down the coffee as fast as she could.
Coming in from the cold, wet rain again, the trip undoing all the good the coffee had done, Kathryn said, "Looks like the worst is definitely over…go ahead and untie yourselves, but keep everything handy just in case. Seven, let's try your communicator again."
"Seven of Nine to Voyager…please respond," Seven said, after activating the small, triangular device. When there was still no response, she demanded, angered, "Seven of Nine to Voyager…respond…you must comply!"
Sighing and chuckling just a tad at Seven, Janeway said, "I don't think that's going to help…but I appreciate your enthusiasm." Standing up and getting another cup of coffee, she said, "Well, I guess we're stuck here…at least for now."
"Could be worse, cowgirl," Torres offered, hoping that meant that she could stop calling her by her professional title.
Looking over at Torres, she asked, pausing for a moment, just to be dramatic and see the slight twinge of doubt on Torres' face, then finally revealed her crooked grin, "How so?" Of course, Janeway could think of a million things that could have been worse than this, but she wanted to hear what Torres had to say, hoping her quirky sense of humor would lighten the mood a little.
True to form, B'Elanna remarked, "Well, Seven's accident could have triggered something in her neural processor that caused her to sing shows tunes and tell bad knock-knock jokes." Laughing, Torres elbowed Seven who was looking at her like she was not amused, which of course she knew was a complete charade.
"Or perhaps we simply could have been subjected to your cooking," Seven came back.
"You're right…that definitely would have been worse," Torres agreed, elbowing Seven again.
Pulling up a chair right next to the door, prepared to keep her vigil until the rain stopped or Voyager made contact with them, she wrapped herself in her dirty, damp blanket and chuckled as Seven and B'Elanna traded harmless insults back and forth. Once they both grew quiet, tired of laughing and running out of things to say, Janeway leaned up close against the door and just listened to the softness of the rain falling for a little while. Now that the threat of flash flooding was over, Janeway let herself finally relax and enjoy the sound of the storm. The distant, almost constant low, malevolent rumble of the thunder that every now and then still shook the ground beneath them steadily bought the captain back to her youth, for just a few seconds. Kathryn has always been fascinated with weather, especially severe weather since she was a small child. During the spring and summer months on her family’s farm, she would sit out on the porch with the dogs and watch as the cumulonimbus clouds built themselves into gigantic, towering anvils in the sky, and when their dark, seething masses churning with unfathomable amounts of energy moved over her head, she would stay outside and watch the show as long as possible. It usually only took seconds for her mother to call her inside, but Kathryn was always supremely grateful for those few, fleeting moments when she was in complete and total awe of the power of nature. Her nostalgia causing her to sigh audibly, she wasn’t surprised in the least when she heard Torres snicker and ask, "More farm memories, Red?"
"Uh huh," Janeway nodded, taking another sip of her coffee putting her head back against the habitat, but not sharing this story with her friends. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t expressly want them to know, but sometimes, Janeway thought, certain memories were just to simplistic, yet deeply personal to explain correctly. Now that her body was coming down from the stress induced high, Janeway suddenly felt not only completely frigid, but extremely weary. Putting her ear to the door again, now only hearing the slightest sound of rain that seemed to be slowing by the minute, she said, looking over at Seven and B’Elanna, "Well, looks like we're in the clear. I don’t know about the two of you, but I’m beat. I’m going to go try and clean up a bit and then turn in."
After rummaging through their survival gear, Janeway gathered a canteen full of water and a wash cloth before she headed for the back of the habitat to give herself some privacy. Peeling off her damp and caked with mud clothes and throwing them in the corner to be washed out later, she couldn’t help but shiver uncontrollably as she washed the mud from her arms, face and neck. Her hair had faired fairly well, as far as the mud went, so she didn’t bother trying to clean it. Still feeling grimy and not able to get off all the mud, she gave up trying, and put on her flannel pajamas and a pair of socks. When she finished changing and went into the other room, wondering what Torres and Seven were up to since it sounded like they were rearranging furniture, she swallowed back her protest as she saw the sight before her. Her roommates had apparently decided that the captain’s cot was too damp from the rain, since hers was right near the door, so they had set up all their gear on it, making it readily accessible in a pinch. Then they had pushed together the other two cots and put the only two, clean and dry blankets on top of it.
"Feel better?" Torres asked, looking up at Janeway from where she sat at the table, while Seven remained standing, reading a PADD intently.
"A little…but I’m not sure I’ll ever get all the mud out of my clothes," Janeway said, grabbing her half-full coffee cup and taking three, large gulps. Then putting it down and shaking her hands, then clasping them together, she said, "Oh, I’m freezing though." Rubbing her arms to stimulate warmth, she laughed sardonically, "Hot, cold…flash floods…what a day."
"It wouldn’t be the same if we didn’t have some crisis to overcome…seems to just be our luck," Torres replied, standing up and retrieving the emergency medical kit. "Roll up your sleeve."
Remembering that she had cut herself, Janeway did as she was asked and let Torres scan her arm. "What’s my prognosis?"
"Looks like you’ll live," Torres said, closing the device. Then grabbing a hypospray, she said, pressing it Kathryn’s neck, "but take this just in case."
"What’s that?" she smiled.
"Antibodies…I think," said the brunette, joking. "Hopefully your hair won’t fall out."
Snorting and rubbing her neck where the medicine had been administered out of habit, she laughed, "At least I wouldn’t have to fuss with it anymore."
Wiping the area with a sanitized cloth, blowing on the cut when Kathryn hissed at the stinging sensation, she asked, shocked, "You don’t like your hair, Red?"
"I never know what to do with it…cosmetology was never my strong suit," answered Janeway. "What do you think looks better…short or long?"
"Short," Torres asked, putting a long bandage over the wound since this medical kit didn’t have a dermal regenerator, and bosted on the most simplistic, but always useful, no matter what the century, medical supplies. "It suits your personality more…and you look younger, much more your age. And," finishing wrapping the captain’s arm, "you’re more intimidating."
Chuckling, she asked, "I’m more intimidating without the bun…how does that work?"
"Simple…before you came off as intelligent, arrogant, pretty, but reserved," Torres explained, seriously, folding her hands over her chest. "But now, when you meet someone, they see you as intelligent, cocky, fearless, and beautiful." Winking, she finished, "and that combo, Red, scares the shit out of most people…especially men."
"You got…all of that…out of my hairdo?" Janeway asked, nonplussed.
"Just call’em like I see’em," Torres laughed, putting away the medical case. Then looking at Seven who had stopped what she was doing to listen to the conversation, she asked, "Don’t you agree, dollface?"
"I agree with you assessment of the traits the captain displays," Seven answered. Then looking at Janeway would was obviously curious, she said, "In fact, the Borg Queen admires you, Kathryn."
Snorting in disbelief, Janeway said, "I highly doubt that, Seven."
Raising her eyebrow, Seven explained, "That is why she did not attempt to assimilate me a second time. She wished to add your distinctiveness to the Collective through me, knowing that was the most efficient way."
"How was kidnapping you more efficient than just assimilating me?"
"She knew that you would resist, and more than likely destroy yourself before you would allow that to happen. Furthermore, she was also aware that I would find that unacceptable, so she compromised. If I went willingly, she would spare you and the crew. It was an efficient plan; however, she clearly underestimated at what lengths you would go to retrieve a single drone. I know you see the Borg as a ‘thorn in your side,’ but believe me when I say, the feeling is quite mutual. As much as the Borg wish to assimilate Humanity so that they may understand your contradictions, I believe they will continue to fail because they do not understand them."
Stymied and wondering how the conversation went from her hair to the assimilation of Humanity, Janeway shook her head, grabbed her coffee, gulping it down, and said, "Guess that means I should keep my hair short…for Humanity’s sake." Then looking at the bed, she queried, "So, who’s stuck in the middle tonight…or should I even ask?"
Breezing past the captain and going to change, Torres answered, "You’re the smallest."
Setting down her cup, and crawling into bed, needing to warm up, she came back, "I’m taller than you are."
From behind the partition, Torres said, "Not without those heels you parade around it, you aren’t. Plus, you’ll have to pick a cot to share…I don’t think you want to actually sleep in the middle…that is unless you like sleeping on metal bars?"
Realizing that Torres was right, she said, relaxing into Torres’ cot, deciding she should sleep with her instead of with Seven, simply because Seven was not accustomed to sleeping at all, and Janeway didn’t want to make the task any more difficult for her by hogging her space. Laughing away her anxiety of having to sleep with either of these women, she said, playing Torres’ game, "Could be worse, I guess."
"How so?" asked B’Elanna from the back.
"I could be stuck between Tuvok and the Doctor," Janeway announced.
Coming out form the back now in her nightwear, Torres scrunched her face and said, "Good point." When she saw that Kathryn had picked her cot, she immediately felt nervous, so she picked up what was left of the captain’s coffee and gulped it down. Then squeezing her eyes tight, swallowing, she coughed, "Christ…how do you drink that stuff?"
"It’s my own personal recipe…coffee laced with adrenaline, remember? It requires a sensitive palate," answered Janeway, wrapping herself up into a tight ball, fighting the intense cold. It took quite a bit for the older woman to get really cold, but once she did, it took even longer for her to warm up.
"More like a nonexistent palate," replied Torres getting into the bed. Feeling the coolness coming off of the captain’s body, even without touching her, she said, "Kathryn, you’re freezing."
"When did you catch on?" she asked, sarcastically, looking up at Seven who was still standing and pursuing a PADD. "Seven, aren’t you coming to bed…you’ve got to be tired?"
Looking up from the hand held device, she said, "In time, Kathryn. I am not accustomed to this form of regeneration yet. I require more time to ‘unwind’ before I can attempt it."
"Alright…will you try to contact Voyager again before you go to bed?" requested Janeway, trying not to make the question sound like an order since she felt that she should probably be the one attempting it. After Seven nodded and returned to her reading, Janeway closed her eyes and tried to settle her shaking body. When B’Elanna closed the distance between them and wrapped her strong arm around her waist, Janeway automatically tensed.
Leaning in close and whispering in Kathryn’s ear, so only she could hear her, she soothed, "Relax, Red. This isn’t first contact either…just the benefits of a Klingon physiology." Only when Kathryn nodded and settled into the embrace, did she slip her hand underneath the older woman’s oversized shirt. Pressing her warm skin to Kathryn’s ice cold, torso, she pulled her back against her chest, attempting to put as much of her warmer body against the captain’s.
The warmth felt entirely too good for her to not allow it, so she forced herself to relax. Then after a few minutes, still feeling inhumanly cold, Janeway turned over, not caring where B’Elanna’s hands touched her now, as long as they did and buried her face into Torres’ welcoming chest. Putting her arm around Torres and slipping her hand under her shirt, trying to make as much of her skin come in contact with the Klingon’s as possible, she said, her voice distressed and small, "I’m freezing."
"I know…you’ll get warm though…it’s just going to take some time," Torres whispered into the captain’s hair. Feeling the captain shivering in her arms as she held her tight, she said,looking up a bit, "Seven, replicate a shot of whiskey, straight up for Red."
When she put down her PADD, Seven walked over to the replicator, then asked, "What does ‘straight up’ mean?"
"No ice…no nothing…just whiskey," Torres answered.
Looking up, and forcing a crooked grin, despite her trembling, she asked, her voice, hoarse as ever, "If you’re trying to get me drunk…I’d like to point out, that I’m already in bed with you."
Taking the glass from Seven, who immediately went back to her reading, obviously trying to give Kathryn and B’Elanna some privacy, despite the fact that they were all in the same room, she laughed, impressed, "And I thought I had a screwed up sense of humor? Here, drink it."
Taking the glass, toasting Torres first, she opened her throat and tossed back the liquor in one gulp. Then handing the glass to Torres, who put it on the floor, behind her, she rather impatiently waited for the brunette to turn toward her before she wrapped her arm around her again and buried her face into her chest, saying, "Thank you…that feels a little better."
Rubbing the captain’s back softly, the act itself purely chaste, not meant to arouse, only stimulate heat, she asked, her voice a whisper, "Is this bothering you?"
"Heavens no," Kathryn said into the fabric of Torres’ shirt. "Is it bothering you? You must feel like you’re hugging a block of ice."
"Not quite…but close," Torres chuckled. "You owe me one, though."
"Just don’t make me sing Klingon drinking songs, alright…I can’t hold a tune to save my life."
"Finally," Torres sighed, their voices still deathly quiet, "something she can’t do." Then squeezing her a little tighter as their bodies began to mold into each other’s form, "Okay…no drinking songs…on my honor."
"Mmm…thank you," Janeway smiled. Speaking louder, she asked, "Seven, are we disturbing you?"
Looking up from her PADD, smiling openly at the sight before her, she said to the captain’s back, "No Kathryn…please do not concern yourself with me. I am merely reading."
"What are you reading?" asked Janeway, honestly curious.
"A section of Voyager’s database on particle physics," Seven explained, but did not go into it further, hoping Janeway would not inquire.
"Sounds stimulating," Janeway teased.
"It is informative," Seven said, then looking at B’Elanna, silently telling her to keep the captain occupied, she sighed when Torres redirected the captain’s attention to her.
"Are you getting warmer, or do you need another drink?" Torres asked quietly.
"No…no more booze…my body’s been beaten up enough today," Kathryn answered.
"Do you want me to shut up?" Torres chuckled.
"Mmmntmm," answered the captain, pulling Torres even closer. "I’m still too cold to fall asleep."
"What do you want to talk about then? If you answer particle physics, I’m leaving."
Laughing silently, she answered, "I don’t know…the weather?" After they both stopped chuckling, she said, sighing, "I can’t think of anything."
"Me neither," responded Torres, truthfully. "Do you think we can get Seven to sing show tunes?"
"That possibility is highly unlikely, B’Elanna Torres," said Seven, smirking and not looking up from her work.
The Borg’s response sent the other two women into a first class giggle fit, and by the time they had calmed down, not only was the captain feeling quite a bit warmer, but both were now wrapped up tightly and perfectly comfortable…and what seemed somewhat strange to them both, was that they both knew it. There was no tension, no more awkwardness…nothing but warmth, comfort and relaxation.
Now that Janeway’s body didn’t feel like she had ice water running through her veins, she sighed, the peace of sleep calling out to her, and her body suddenly felt exhausted and heavy. She barely moved and muscle when B’Elanna rolled onto her back, wrapped her hand underneath Kathryn, and pulled her into the crook of her arm. Snuggling into the engineer’s neck, wrapping half of her body around Torres’ muscled frame, Janeway slurred, sleepily against the Klingon’s neck, "Hmm…thank you."
Torres placed her other arm over the captain’s outstretched limb, and replied, "Goodnight, Red."
Yawning, Kathryn answered, "Night, ‘Lanna."
"Captain?"
Woken, feeling disoriented and entirely too warm, it took Kathryn Janeway a few moments to realize where she was, why someone was calling out to her, and why she felt like someone’s hands were all over her body. Opening her eyes and groaning as a blinding light was shining at her, she removed her hand from underneath B’Elanna’s shirt, were it had been nestled comfortable between her breasts for quite some time, just then realizing where it was, and shielded her eyes, croaking, "What’s going on?" Before she had a chance to say anything more or unwind further from Torres’ body, which she was practically lying on top of, Seven of Nine was up and out of her bed, snapping, "Commander Chakotay, perhaps you should have knocked on the door rather than intruding upon the captain’s privacy?"
"Hmm?" mumbled Torres, attempting to pull Janeway close to her again as she felt the chill of the air. Then hearing Seven’s voice, she opened her eyes to the bright beam of light directed at her. Instantly cranky, she was about to throw her pillow at the unwanted visitors for disturbing her sleep when she remembered that not only had they been unable to contact Voyager, but she was sleeping with the captain. As fast as she could, she scooted out from underneath Kathryn’s warm, slight body and stood up, trying not to blush.
As soon as Kathryn felt Torres pull away from her, she crawled out of bed, slamming down her command mask to hide her embarrassment and said, "Seven, that’s alright." Shielding her eyes from the light until the Away Team, which consisted of Chakotay and a few others that had remained outside, lowered his wrist light, she said, activating the habitat’s lighting system, "Commander, it’s good to see you. Did the rest of the crew get back safely?"
Sighing, Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder, obviously relieved to know she was not hurt, and said, "Yes, Captain, barely. I’m sorry for barging in on you, but when we hadn’t heard from you, I thought…"
"Don’t worry about it…did Voyager sustain any damage?" she asked, shrugging the intrusion off as if she had nothing to hide, even though inside she was cringing at the knowledge that Chakotay obviously saw the compromising position she was in before she woke up.
"We took a few lightening hits, but nothing the shields couldn’t handle. A few conduits were overloaded while we were transporting the crew back to the ship, but they’ll be repaired shortly…nothing to worry about." Then noticing the captain’s bandage and the dirt on her skin and the mud on the floor, he said, "You ladies must have had a bumpy ride, though…everyone okay?"
"The captain has a minor laceration, but we are undamaged," Seven replied, arrogantly and caustic, obviously not as forgiving of the abrupt intrusion as Janeway.
Glancing at Seven and silently informing her to tone down the attitude with a quick narrowing of her eyes, Janeway said, "We’re fine, Chakotay…thank you. Are the transporters working, or did you have to walk here?"
"They’re working now that the storm has passed, but it looks like we’ve got another series of storms moving this way...just as powerful," explained Chakotay, regret clear on his face.
Sighing, Janeway said, turning around and retrieving her slippers, "So much for shore leave." Looking at Torres and Seven, she smirked ruefully, "Grab your things girls…it’s time to go home."
As soon as everyone was safely aboard the ship, Janeway ordered that the shields be raised, and that she be notified immediately if any damage was incurred as she walked with Chakotay to Sickbay. After getting her wound properly tended to so that she wouldn’t be left with a scar, she said to the commander as they entered the turbolift, heading toward Deck Three were both of their quarters were located, "Chakotay…I know I don’t have to explain myself, but I feel like I should…since that looked much different than it really was."
Chuckling just a little, he said, "Kathryn, I’m not going to pretend that I don’t know what you’re talking about. I admit that I was a little shocked…okay…a lot shocked, but once I saw what condition you were in and your habitat, it made sense."
"Computer, halt turbolift," Janeway said. Once the lift stopped, she turned toward him, worry clear on her face and asked, "Did…anyone else see…um…where my hand was?"
"I don’t think so," he smiled. "I ordered them to stay back until I assessed the situation." Folding his arms over his chest, he said, "Despite what Seven says…I do care about your privacy."
Putting her hand on his arm, she smiled, softly, "Don’t take it personally …she’s been overly protective lately. I think she’s just starting to understand what it means to truly care about someone’s feelings. I’m sure she’ll adapt soon enough." Then releasing him and leaning against the turbolift doors, putting her hands over her face, she laughed, "And by the way…thank you. God, I don’t know what I would have done if anyone other than you walked in and saw…that." Taking her hands away revealing her blushing cheeks, she said, "Computer, resume."
Once the doors parted evenly and they stepped onto the dimly lit corridor, since it was still the middle of the night, Chakotay said quietly, "I know from experience that you aren’t the first person to suffer from wandering hands while sleeping…don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m sure B’Elanna won’t hold it against you. She certainly didn’t look uncomfortable."
Coming to a stop in front of the door to his quarters, which were right next to hers, she asked, her face hardening, "What’s that supposed to mean?"
Walking into his quarters, requesting that the lights be brought up, hoping that Janeway would follow him, he answered looking over his shoulder as she stepped inside and let the doors close, "It means that you shouldn’t worry about it." Then turning around and eyeing her, he said, "I’ve known you a long time, Kathryn Janeway. If there wasn’t something more going on in your head, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. I’ve also only seen you blush twice prior to today…and now you’re blushing for the third time in an hour. It doesn’t take a telepath to see what’s written all over your face." Walking away from the glare she was attempting to smite him with, he asked, approaching the replicator, "Coffee?"
"No…thank you," she responded, crisply, still staring him down. Walking up to him, she requested, "I would like to you to tell me what it is you think is written all over my face, however."
Throwing her corrosive attitude right back at her, he responded, "Kathryn, I’m sorry that you are having a personal dilemma right now, but don’t take it out on me." Grabbing his coffee, he turned toward her and said, "And don’t think I don’t understand. You and I went through this before, remember?"
Softening some, but not much, she said, "Chakotay, if you are suggesting what I think you’re suggesting…then I don’t think you know me as well as you think."
Sitting down on his small couch, leaving her standing, he said, "That’s where you’re wrong. I know you better than most. I know that you’re a passionate woman. I know you’re lonely…and I know when you’re attracted to someone."
Lifting her chin and straightening her back, she spat, "So suddenly because I don’t want to spend my personal time alone, that means I’m after B’Elanna? I guess I’m really not allowed to have friends like everyone else."
Keeping his voice even and smooth, he responded, "This has nothing to do with you inviting B'Elanna, or Seven, to spend time with you. Nor does it have to do with me walking in on the two of you tonight. This is about me knowing you, Kathryn. Why does this bother you so much if it isn’t true? You never reacted this way when the whole ship thought you and I were involved." When she turned his back to her, he stood and went up behind her. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he whispered, "In fact, we had quite a few good laughs about it…so why aren’t we laughing about this too?"
Crossing her arms over her chest and bowing her head, she whispered back, exhaling, "I don’t know…I’m sorry for getting angry."
Wrapping his arms around her, letting her rest against she broad chest, he said, "Kathryn, I know this is hard for you, and I’m certainly not going to give you advice, but I’m here to listen if you need to just talk through it."
Putting her head back on his shoulder, she said, patting his arms affectionately, "Thank you, Chakotay…but I think I need to work this out on my own."
Smiling, knowingly, he said, "Of course you do."
After saying goodnight to Chakotay, Janeway made the short trip to her quarters pensively, and almost didn’t notice her visitor as she entered them, prepared to take a long, hot bath, to get then thin layer of mud from her tight, dry skin, and then an ice cold shower to squelch all of her emotions. Seeing Seven of Nine standing by her large window quietly watching the electric show in the distance, she stopped dead in her tracks and said, hoarse, "If I remember correctly, these are the captain’s quarters, Seven."
Seven immediately turned around, placed her hands behind her back, kept her expression pleasant and said, "Captain, I apologize for the intrusion, but since you are not wearing a communicator, I was not able to inform you privately that I required your assistance regarding a personal matter."
Snapping out of her irritation immediately, regretting her sometimes short fuse, she replied, walking up to Seven quickly, "It’s alright. What’s wrong?"
Letting her hands fall to her sides, Seven relaxed fully now that Kathryn was no longer agitated and explained, "The lightening damaged several of the power conduits in Cargo Bay Two. Until they are repaired, my alcove will not function adequately, therefore I cannot regenerate." When Kathryn looked as if she didn’t quite understand, she finished, "My body requires that I rest now due to the day’s strenuous activities. However, since I do not maintain standard crew quarters, I was hoping that I could utilize yours until the repairs are complete, instead of having to spend the time in Sickbay where I would not feel comfortable."
"Of course," Janeway nodded quickly, even before she realized what she was allowing as her inner voice sinkered at her, sounding distinctively like that of her younger sister, Phoebe, "Seven says, "Kathryn, can I…" and you automatically say "Of course, Seven…here let me help you." Geeze, you’re an easy mark these days." Ignoring her self-castigation, she cleared and throat, determined at act like nothing more than this woman’s mentor. Since Seven was still wearing jeans and a t-shirt, she said, "Let’s go see if I have something in my closet that you can sleep in, huh?" Just as she and Seven were about to walk into her bedroom, her door call sounded several times, quite urgently. Sighing, she said, rubbing her temples, "Will this day never end?" Then crisply, she snapped, "Come in."
"Captain!" Torres yelled bounding into the room. Then stopping short when she saw the tall blonde standing with Kathryn near her bedroom, she nodded and said, "Seven." Then turning toward Janeway and marching up to her, her fists balled, she explained, "Captain, I’m sorry to bother you this late, but I have talk to you right now!"
Noting the tension and anger in Torres’ eyes and body language, she figured this was a personal issue, so she nodded and said, "Seven would you excuse us, please."
"It’s fine, Captain…I’m sure she’ll find out sooner or later!" Torres came back quickly through clenched teeth.
Closing her eyes, sensing she was not going to like what she was about to hear, Janeway asked, "What’s going on?"
Exploding into a mass of muscled limbs and Klingon ire like a time bomb, Torres shouted, turning around and throwing her arms in the air, "Someone broke into and accessed my personal logs while we were gone!"
Tensing, Janeway asked, unbelieving, "What? How do you know?"
Spinning around, she explained, "Because I don’t trust anyone! So, I have secondary safety systems set up to inform me if they’ve been accessed by anyone other than me, Tuvok, and you." Fuming, she seethed, "I just know it was Tom, Captain! I know it! When I went to see him he said," pausing and trying to calm down before she said anything she’d regret, "some things that just didn’t make sense to me at the time…but now, I know where he got his ideas from! Who else would want to read my personal logs? I know it was him, Captain…god, I should have killed that piece of targ dung when I had the chance!"
"B’Elanna, calm down!" Janeway urged, grabbing her by the shoulders, "Do you know for a fact that it was Tom?"
"No…but he couldn’t have known what he knew unless he did, Captain…I never talked about the things I put in those logs with anyone…anyone, ever!" Bringing her hands to her face, she said, "Captain…you’ve got to stop him before he tells everyone!"
"Seven," Janeway sighed, looking back to the blonde who watching this scene intently, "would you please excuse us for a moment?"
"Of course, Captain…should I inform Commander Tuvok of the situation?" Seven asked, heading for the door.
"No…not yet…but thank you…why don’t you just go into my bedroom and try to get some rest? I’ll probably be detained for a while. Help yourself to anything in my closet," she offered, waving her hand behind her, motioning toward her bedroom.
Nodding, Seven spun on her heels and made her way toward the captain’s bedroom.
As Seven walked past them, Torres said, "I’m sorry, Seven…I don’t mean to bother you either."
"Do not distress yourself further over me, B’Elanna Torres. Please inform me if you require my assistance," said the tall blonde, placing her hand on Torres’ shoulder, mimicking the comfort device Janeway often used with her crew.
"I will…thanks, dollface," Torres said, forcing a smile, despite her boiling blood.
After Seven went into the bedroom and closed the door, Janeway motioned for them to sit on the couch. Once they were seated, she said, "B’Elanna, I’m not saying that I believe that Mister Paris would do this. Although, I admit, that if someone did access your personal logs, then he would be the primary suspect considering the circumstances. But why do you think if Tom, or anyone, did access your logs that they would tell anyone about it…surely that would give them away immediately?"
"Captain," Torres said, looking away, "I realize that I’m putting you in a terrible position, but now that there’s a crime involved, I guess you’re going to have to know." Sighing, she pulled her socked feet to her chest and started, "When I went to see Tom early yesterday, he accused me of things…personal things…about me…and others that he couldn’t have possibly known if he hadn’t read those logs. When he first brought it up, I just thought he was lashing out…trying to put the blame on someone else, but now…now I think he really knew that what he was saying was at least partially true…and he was jealous and trying to hurt me."
"Okay…but why do you think he’ll tell these things to others?"
"I don’t really know?" Torres explained, rubbing her forehead, "but if he does, you need to be prepared for it."
Swallowing, not liking the sound of that at all, she said, "I’m not about to find out you’ve been planning another mutiny am I?" When that got a small smile out of Torres, she said, "You can tell me…whatever it is…you can tell me."
"Kathryn," she whispered, needing to bring this to a personal level, "there are things in those logs that…"
"Go ahead," she encouraged, nodding her head.
"That," looking away, she admitted, "that…you probably don’t want to know." Growling, she amended, "That you definitely don’t want anyone else to know."
"Like what?"
Putting her hands over her face, not able to look at Janeway, she exclaimed into her palms, "That I’ve been crazy about you for more months than I can remember." She pulled her hands away, after a moment, but still didn’t look up at Janeway, and explained, "For a while it was just a harmless crush, but then it didn’t go away…and I felt like I was starting to go crazy if I didn’t talk to someone, so I confessed everything I was feeling to my journal, hoping it would help get you out of my system. But it didn’t. It just got worse, and after a while talking about you became sort of a ritual, since that was the only way I could keep myself from letting my secret out. So, I talked a lot about you…a lot…but only during those times, and it helped me stay in control the rest of the time. If I didn’t talk about it, I knew I’d never be able to hide it…and well, since you’re the captain, I knew it was never going to happen…so I had to deal with it somehow." Finally looking at Janeway, she said, "I’m so sorry, Kathryn…there are so many personal things about you in those logs…things you do, things you say…stupid comments about the way you look at me, that anyone who wasn’t me couldn’t understand and they would assume things about you that just aren’t true."
Swallowing back her tears and her anger, Kathryn whispered, "’Lanna," trying very hard not to lose control of her emotions, "I had no idea. I understand…why you didn’t tell me…but I’m sorry…that you felt you had to hide that. I’m sorry…I didn’t know you felt that way."
"That’s why you have to stop him…everything is in those logs…my dreams, my wishes…fantasies. Kahless, I think I even talked about your butt after one of your surprise Engineering inspections," she cried, throwing her hands over her face. Shaking her head, "Kathryn…if those things I said got out…it would be so awful for you…I’d never forgive myself."
"B’Elanna…look at me," Janeway said, scooting closer and pulling Torres’ hands away from her face. Putting her hand on her chin, forcing Torres to look at her, she said, "I appreciate your concern, but I don’t want you to worry about this. Those are your private thoughts…and no one has a right to them but you. You have done nothing wrong. And anyone who thinks otherwise will just have to be reminded that it could have easily been their logs that were accessed. I will not allow this incident to damage your reputation, or anyone else’s if your fears come to fruition, alright? The crew might suddenly become more interested in my backside than they normally are, but I think they’ll get over it quick enough. I am still Janeway after all…you know, the woman who’s lectures can peel paint…at least, that’s what I’ve been told."
Chuckling, and nodding, wiping the tears from her eyes, Torres said, looking down, "Okay…I’ll try."
Releasing Torres’ face, but putting her hand softly on her forearm, squeezing gently, she asked, "And if Mister Paris turns out to be the culprit…you’ll leave him to me?"
"Yes…I think you can probably do more damage than I ever could hope to do," Torres smirked.
"Damn right," Janeway said getting up. Switching back to captain mode, she ordered quickly, "I want you to stay out of your quarters until Tuvok and I have had a chance to investigate the situation. You can stay here with Seven for the night, and I’ll see to getting you some temporary quarters until this is straightened out later." Opening the door to her bedroom to find Seven wearing a long t-shirt and seated uneasily on the lounger, looking at one of Kathryn’s books that were on the small end table like it was the strangest thing she had ever seen, Janeway said, having a hard time not smiling at Seven for being so darned adorable, "Seven…B’Elanna’s going to stay here with you tonight. You two can share the bed. I’ve got to go talk to Tuvok and straighten this mess out. Is there anything you need before I go?"
Putting down the book, Seven said, standing, "No, Kathryn…where will you sleep?"
"I’ll probably be up for sometime going over the security logs with Tuvok, but if I get a chance, I’ll just nap in my Ready Room," Janeway answered, replicating a fresh uniform and a new communicator. "You two just make yourselves at home and try to get some sleep…it could be a long couple of days."
"Captain on the Bridge," Ensign Kim snapped as he looked over her shoulder from the command chair, and immediately jumped to his feet.
Raising her hand, signaling that he should relax, she smirked, walking toward her office, "The Bridge is still yours, Harry…just pretend I’m not here. Enjoying the fireworks?"
"Yes, Ma’am," Kim smiled brightly, looking over at the main view screen and watching the storm, not fearful of displaying his pleasure in seeing the compact redhead, since it was no secret that he was one of Kathryn Janeway’s biggest fans. Considering she was the only captain he had ever served under, that was to be expected, but as the years passed and their relationship developed, he came to look upon her as so much more than a captain. Of course he would never tell this to anyone, but she has become something akin to a surrogate mother, and with that, finally came the relaxation in her presence he had always tried and failed to achieve. He still caught himself twitching like a insect every now and then around her, especially when she wasn’t pleased, but now, he reacted more out of trying to show his undying respect, rather than his immense unease. "Reminds me of home…it’s nice."
"I know what you mean, Harry," she smiled, crookedly. Then turning around, she said, "Carry on, Ensign…and if anyone other than Commander Tuvok comes to speak with me…do me a favor, and tell them I’m busy, alright?"
"Aye, Captain," Kim nodded, sitting back down and turning his attention back to the sensor scans he was conducting, using this opportunity to catalogue this planet’s rather violent weather patterns which produced abnormal levels of electromagnetic interference. Not wanting to have to cut their shore leave short because their transporters couldn’t cut through the interference, he planned on figuring out a way to compensate of the extra interference knowing that would please the captain immensely since she obviously was having to get back to work on some problem, despite the fact that she was still technically off-duty for several more days.
Walking immediately to her replicator and ordering a large mug of her strongest blend of coffee, guaranteed to waken the most tired of souls with its caffeine content, she snatched the piping hot mug from the energy grid, bringing it to her lips as she climbed the short flight of stairs to the upper level of her Ready Room. Taking a seat on the blue-grey curved sofa, she sighed heavily, looking out the large, bay windows as another storm churned above, but not even her favorite drink or the beauty of the scenery could help to lighten her mood. If B’Elanna’s accusations turned out to be true, Janeway knew she was facing one of the worst personnel situations she’d ever faced since taking command of Voyager, and if the culprit turned out to be Tom Paris, she wasn’t quite sure what she was going to do about it yet. Pushing that thought from her mind right now since she didn’t want the circumstances to cloud her judgement, she tapped her communicator and said, "Janeway to Tuvok."
After a few seconds, her chief of security answered, obviously being summoned from his sleep, "Tuvok here, Captain."
"I’m sorry to bother you, Commander, but something has been brought to my attention that requires your expertise," Janeway explained, tracing her finger along the rim of her coffee mug. "Please report to my Ready Room as soon as you’ve had a chance to wake up…there’s no need rush."
"Understood. I will be there shortly, Captain. Tuvok out."
Getting up from her couch, she made her way toward her desk, and sat down, still guzzling her high-octane beverage, fighting her extreme exhaustion for all she was worth. Accessing her personal computer, she logged in and requested that the computer access B’Elanna’s personal logs. Once she had access, she requested that the computer seal them under her command codes, which meant that she was the only member on the ship that could access them now, and if anyone else tried, she would be notified immediately. After that, she sent a small note to Torres informing her what she had done and that she should not attempt to gain entry to them until further notice. Finishing her first cup of coffee, Janeway also requested that the computer search each of the other ship’s databases and to inform her if copies of Torres’s logs were being kept in another place.
Knowing the search would take several minutes since Voyager’s databanks were extensive, even for the advanced computer processor that Voyager utilized, the captain retrieved another cup of coffee and took a seat back at her sofa while she waited for Tuvok. Laying her head back and closing her eyes, she forced herself to breathe deeply. Even though Janeway had done her best to show the engineer that there was nothing for them to fear, the captain was actually very much afraid, and fear wasn’t something that sat well with Captain Kathryn Janeway. However, there was little apprehension when it came to the crew discovering Torres’ feelings for the captain. Janeway knew that she was probably thought to be involved with practically every member of her senior staff, at one time or another…that was just something that came with being a captain. Talking about the captain and her surmised ‘wild side’ made for stimulating and amusing conversation on the lower decks where things tended to be pretty dull, and Janeway was used to it. In fact, she had engaged in that sort of harmless behavior many years ago when she got her first posting. It certainly wasn’t her favorite thing about her job, but it wasn’t the worst part either. What was really bothering her was the uncertainty with how she would go forward with her relationship with B’Elanna, professionally and personally. Professionally she was fairly certain that things would get back to normal fairly quickly, although, she wasn’t certain she’d ever be able to go into Engineering again without recalling Torres’ comments about her ass. That memory graced the captain’s thin lips with a subtle smile, despite everything, as she shook her head and sipped her coffee. But personally, she knew that she and B’Elanna would never be the same. There would always be the knowledge that Janeway was aware of her feelings, and that they both were aware of each other's attraction. That was knowledge that could destroy a friendship faster than an antimatter explosion, and that was the last thing that the captain wanted.
"I can’t let that happen," she thought, setting down her coffee and lying back on her sofa, looking out the window as lightening filled the sky. "I can’t let her feel like she’s done anything wrong. It’s not fair…those are her personal thoughts. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t practically told her the same thing…nothing to that extent, but it has the same meaning. We were going to have to deal with this anyway."
"How am I going to deal with this? God…I don’t know? I just don’t know…it’s all so…it just doesn’t make sense. How can I feel this way for her in one instant, and then feel the exact same way for Seven in the next…or at the same time? It's just crazy. I’m not like this… This shouldn’t happen to me."
The sound of the door call pulled her out of her cogitation, and sitting up, straightening her uniform, she said, "Come in."
"Good morning, Captain," Tuvok greeted, entering his commander’s office and ascending the stairs.
"Have a seat, Commander," Janeway said, reaching for her coffee. "Can I get you anything?"
"No thank you, Captain," answered the Vulcan, sitting perfectly erect and folding his hands neatly in his lap. "I’m assuming there is a security matter you wish to discuss with me."
"Yes," Janeway replied, crossing her legs and leaning back against the couch, feeling the need to be lax since Tuvok was so stiff. "Lieutenant Torres believes that someone has accessed her personal logs without her authorization. She says she has security measures in place to inform her if they have been tampered with. Do you know anything about this?"
Raising his eyebrow, he said, "No, Captain. I am not aware of any breach in security. As far as Miss Torres’ security measures, I installed them myself at her request. At first I believed that she was being overly paranoid, but it seems that her fears were not without merit."
"Yes, well, we don’t know that for certain. I haven’t had a chance to go back through the security logs…I was hoping you could do that for me since you’re much better at it than I am," Janeway smiled. "I have secured her logs under my command authorization to prevent any further indiscretions, and the computer is searching all databases for duplicate copies as we speak…should be done any time."
"A wise precaution," Tuvok nodded. Then getting up from the chair and ordering himself and cup of spiced tea, changing his mind, realizing that this situation was much more serious than he had first assumed, he asked, "Does Lieutenant Torres have any thoughts as to whom would wish to access her personal logs?"
"Yes," Janeway said, softly. "She thinks it was Paris. I’m not sure you know this, but they’ve recently ended their relationship."
"I had my suspicions considering Mister Paris’ attitude as of late, but I had not received an official confirmation," Tuvok explained. Sitting back down, he continued, "As you are aware, Tom Paris is not my most trusted colleague. Nevertheless, it seems unlikely to me that he would violate B’Elanna’s privacy and Starfleet protocol in this manner." When the captain gave him a look that told the dark Vulcan that she wasn’t entirely convinced, he asked, "Is there something else I should know, Captain?"
"Yes," Janeway said, looking down into her coffee cup. "Apparently, there’s information in those logs that was deeply personal to B’Elanna…some things that she had not shared with anyone, not even Tom. When she went to see him early yesterday to end their relationship, some of his comments eluded to the fact that he had read them. Of course, I don’t know what it was that he said, but from B’Elanna’s reaction, I’d say he was fairly specific."
"Indeed," Tuvok muttered. "Captain, I don't want to pry, but in order for me to investigate this situation thoroughly, I will need to know of what these personal things consisted."
Sighing, Janeway stood up and descended the steps so she could pace. She felt uncomfortable having to confess the circumstances to Tuvok, but she knew it was required. Although, she figured telling her oldest friend whom she knew would not pass judgement either way, or divulge the information was probably a lot better than having to tell someone else, so crossing her hands over her chest and walking slowly, looking down at her feet, she said, "As I said before, I don’t know what Tom said to her…but from what B’Elanna told me, I assume that he accused her of being unfaithful…or at least having feelings for someone else. Apparently, she’s had feelings for another person for quite sometime now, and to help her deal with them, she talked about the situation in her personal logs."
"Intriguing," Tuvok remarked. "It is curious that she did not end her relationship with Mister Paris and pursue this other person."
Turning around and looking at Tuvok, Janeway said, "Normally, yes, that probably would have been best…but in this case, she felt she couldn’t. This other person isn’t really approachable."
Nodding his head, Tuvok said, "This other person is already involved. Yes, that does complicate matters."
Shaking her head, Janeway looked down and said, quietly, "No…this other person…is…her commanding officer." Pursing her lips, and lifting her head, she said, "So, you can see why this is a delicate matter."
"Indeed," Tuvok said, seriously, finally understanding the captain’s reluctance to get to the point. Standing and walking up to her, he said, "I do not envy your position, Captain…this is undoubtedly a trying situation for you. However, I assure you that I will discover if Miss Torres’ logs were indeed compromised, and who committed the infraction, if that is the case."
Squeezing his shoulder, she said, "I know you will…and thank you for understanding, old friend."
After two hours of searching through security logs and decoding encryption algorithms, several of which were enhanced using Borg technology, which made the captain chuckled fondly at Seven’s never-ending ability to optimize this ship’s efficiency, they had discovered that much to the captain’s dismay, Torres’ logs had been accessed illegally several times in the last month, all occurrences corresponding to times when Torres was away from the ship. Upon discovering that, they were able to determine how the culprit bypassed B’Elanna’s secondary security systems…and this time, to Janeway’s outrage, they had been circumvented using more Borg encryption techniques. Of course, Janeway knew that Seven of Nine would never conduct herself in this manner. If she wished to read Torres’ logs, she would simply ask…or she would ask direct questions of the engineer, deeming that as more efficient. Now, what was compounding the situation was that suddenly it looked like either Seven of Nine had been used in a way unbeknownst to her, which of course infuriated the redhead well beyond acceptable levels, or someone else had learned the intricacies of Borg algorithms, which the captain would admit that even she had trouble wrapping her mind around from time to time.
During their small coffee break while the computer ran a more detailed analysis of the data, Tuvok and Janeway started coming up a list of suspects. Considering the details, the only other suspect, other than Tom Paris was Harry Kim, which didn’t make the captain feel any better at all. Tuvok, of course, was just stating facts since other than Seven of Nine, he was the only other person aboard that had taken then the time to study the Collective’s data encryption processes. Even though Janeway couldn’t argue with that statement, she herself had employed the young ensign to decrypt Seven’s personal logs shortly after the young blonde had arrived aboard Voyager and took off chasing after a Borg resonance signal one day, she simply wouldn’t believe that Harry would ever violate B’Elanna’s trust in such a manner. Finally convincing Tuvok of that, which wasn’t very difficult since the Vulcan completely agreed with her, they had settled on the fact that Tom Paris was still their primary suspect, and now it looked like he had used the talents of one or two of her crewmembers to gain access. Since she knew Harry was green behind the ears, but not completely naïve, she figured that if Tom had indeed committed this crime he had probably used Seven’s innocence since she would have assisted him willingly, trying to be helpful, not knowing much of anything about trickery, something Janeway knew Tom Paris was well versed in.
When the computer had finally come back with the final data, Janeway brought her hands to her mouth as they read it together. The computer had crossed referenced the five occurrences with the whereabouts of the crew. Three of the five break-ins had occurred during the wee hours of the morning, and had been tracked down to the computer console in the holodeck. Since that time period was considered open time, no one had to reserved it, so no definitive conclusion could be made, even though everyone on the ship knew that Tom Paris used the holodeck more than anyone else. However, the final two breaches, the two that sealed the case, had occurred in the last week, both of which were conducted from one of the terminals in Sickbay, where Mister Paris had been working during one of his recent medical shifts. With a definite crack of hurt in her voice, she had ordered Tuvok to detain the helmsman in the ship’s Brig until she could figure out what she was going to do.
Immediately, she had accessed the ship’s legal database to search for a precedence to help her determine how she should handle this problem. Not only did she not want to overreact and let her personal involvement in the matter shade her view of the penalty, but as much as she wanted to kick Paris off her ship for yet again proving that he couldn’t be trusted to do anything other than what was in his best interest, personally, Janeway knew that she could not afford to lose him professionally. He might be a complete ass as a man, but as a pilot, no one even came close to his skills. Still, she knew that she couldn’t let that shade her judgement either…not only was it not fair to Torres, but it wasn’t fair to any of her other crewmembers that could conduct themselves according to Starfleet protocol. There were several instances where personal logs had been tampered with, or accessed illegally, and Janeway was a little surprised to find that it was considered a minor infraction…at least the first offense was. The penalties ranged from detention to the loss of replicator privileges for thirty days. There had been one instance of a demotion, but that situation was considered more severe since the accused had accessed the captain’s personal logs and traded the information contained within for holodeck privileges. What Janeway understood from that, was that this matter was left up to the captain’s discretion, and that she had the power to punish Tom Paris however she saw fit.
It took two more cups of coffee and an hour’s worth of contemplation before Janeway made her decision. Exiting her Ready Room, her command mask firmly wiping out all signs of her personal turmoil regarding this situation, she marched to the turbolift without speaking a word to anyone, preparing herself for the confrontation, hoping that the situation wasn’t about to get much worse.
Taking a deep breath before she entered the Brig, she didn’t remove the prominent frown from her features as she entered the small room. Nodding at the security guard manning the station, she said, her voice low and menacing, "Wait outside." After the tall, dark haired ensign exited the room, she turned toward the Brig and looked directly at Tom Paris who was sitting on the cot, leaning over, resting his hands on his legs, looking at the ground. Walking slowly up to the cell, she disengaged the forcefield and said, flippantly, "Mister Paris…here we are again. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting pretty damn tired of having to throw you in here. I assume Commander Tuvok has informed you of the charges against you?"
Looking up as she stepped into the cell, he said, coldly, "Yes, Captain."
"Good. How do you want to proceed then?" she asked, stepping into the cell. "I’d really not rather have to waste resources investigating this further, but you have a right to legal council and to a fair trial. What’s it going to be Tom?"
"Sounds like you already think I’m guilty, Captain…how is that supposed to be fair?"
"If a trial is what you want, Lieutenant Paris, then that is what you’ll get. Mister Chakotay I’m sure will be happy to preside over the hearing," Janeway said, clipped. "Shall I inform Mister Kim that you require his council?"
"No…don’t drag Harry into this," Paris sighed. Throwing his hands up, he said, "And I don’t want a trial. I admit it, okay. I broke into B’Elanna’s logs!"
Putting her hands and her hips and standing directly in front of him, she said, "Even though I can’t and won’t condone your behavior, I can partially understand why you continued to read Miss Torres’ personal logs after you discovered what they contained. What I can’t understand, is why you accessed them in the first place, Mister Paris. Would you care to share that with me…help me understand why you would not only break Starfleet protocols but also personally violate the privacy of a colleague?"
"A colleague…that’s very diplomatic, Captain," Paris snorted. "Don’t you mean my girlfriend…or at least ex-girlfriend, thanks to you?"
"I’m not going to tell you how to conduct yourself with regards to your romantic relationships, Mister Paris," the captain barked. "How you chose to act on your own time is your business, but when you purposefully and willfully violate protocols, especially when your indiscretion affects a member of my crew, then it becomes my business, for that reason alone. Now answer the question."
A little deflated since Janeway wasn’t giving in, Paris sighed and yelled, "Why do think I did it, huh? Things were going awful for us…all we ever did was fight. She stopped wanting to be around me, so I thought maybe was screwing around on me and I wanted to find out!"
"And it never occurred to you to simply ask her instead of snooping through her private business?" asked Kathryn, hissing slightly.
Standing up, now directly in the captain’s face, he said, "You don’t ask a Klingon if they’re fucking someone else, Captain…not unless you have a death wish. I figured you’d know that by now..."
Her face now becoming the epitome of controlled rage, Janeway growled, taking a step forward, toe to toe with Paris, "Sit down, Lieutenant." When he hesitated, but finally did, she bent over him, putting her face directly in his, and said, surely but deathly quiet, "If…you…ever…speak to me that way again…you will no longer be an officer…on…this…ship. Is that clear?" Once he had answered affirmatively, she stood upright and said, starting to pace around the room, slowly, "Now that I know why you did it…that just leaves me with one question." Turning around and facing him again, she asked, "What you going to do with that information, Tom?" Pointing at her chest, she continued to make a point, "Forget that I have a personal stock in this. I don’t give a damn about what you say about me. If it makes you feel better to blame me for your shortcomings, then that’s fine…go right ahead, but I will not allow you to badger or blackmail a member of my crew."
"Please, Captain…do you really think I’d tell anyone that one day while I was snooping through my girlfriend’s personal logs that I found out that not only did she not love me anymore, but that she was infatuated with the captain?" Paris said, folding his arms over his chest.
"I don’t know, Tom…I never thought you were the type to snoop through someone’s logs this morning, but now I know that you are," Janeway came back quickly, talking with her hands. "But I guess that’s the whole point of this, isn’t it? I can’t trust you. I guess I’ll just have to hope that you’ll use better judgement in future." Walking up to him and leaning down again, she said, "Consider yourself on report, Lieutenant Paris. Commander Tuvok will escort you to your quarters today where you will remain for three days. After that, Chakotay will inform you of your new duty shift, which will be reviewed after a period of no less than thirty days. If I feel that you’ve acted accordingly, I’ll consider reassigning you to the Bridge."
As the captain walked away, Tom said, "Don’t you think that’s a little harsh, Captain? All I did was read a few personal logs…you’re acting like I tried to steal your command codes."
Turning around, she glared at him and said, "Actually, I think you’re getting off pretty easy, Mister Paris. Personal privacy might not mean a whole lot to you, Lieutenant, but out here, our logs are all some of us have. Not only have you disappointed me more than you ever have before…and we have been here before…you’ve negligently tossed aside common decency, willfully gone against protocols more than once, I can’t prove it yet, but I’m certain you used Seven’s innocence to gain access to B’Elanna’s logs, and you’ve personally insulted me. Which, in case you didn’t know, isn’t a smart thing to do…and I have no use for stupidity, Mister Paris…not now, not ever." Stepping out of the cell and reactivating the forcefield, she finished, "Maybe you’ll think about that the next time you get the urge shoot off your mouth."
"Permission to speak freely, Captain," Tom said, jumping to his feet and walking toward the forcefield.
Shaking her head back and forth, she said, "You lost that privilege the moment you decided to personally attack me today, Lieutenant. I came here to not only inform you of your punishment, but to try and understand why you would ever do this to B’Elanna…but now I realize that I don’t understand you at all, and I’m not certain I ever will."
"But, Captain…you don’t…" he started.
Spinning on her heels and cutting him off before he could say anything more, she barked, loudly, over her shoulder, walking away, "Permission denied. Good day, Mister Paris."
Sleep was a futile quarry for the redheaded captain this morning. Laying on her office sofa, her body curled up loosely as she looked up at the sky that was finally starting to clear to reveal a crisp, blue, brightly illuminated by this remote planet’s binary suns, sky and couldn’t help but scowl. Even though her body was beaten down with the last thirty hour’s emotionally and physically trying events, she had more than enough caffeine and distress pulsing through her veins that she knew it was unlikely she would sleep at all for the rest of the day, and possibly the following night. Try as she might to not dwell on the conversation she had several hours ago with Tom Paris, she couldn’t get his words out of her mind. The way he had implied that she had actually been the reason for his and Torres’ failed romance hurt her deeply personally, even though she knew they were just the words of an angry, jealous man who had suddenly realized what he lost, but that, notwithstanding, couldn’t stop her from feeling their implications slice through her skin like it was paper. "Did I give B’Elanna mixed signals? Were all of my attempts to make her feel better about herself the cause of all this? Did I interfere with their relationship?"
"No…no, I didn’t interfere. I was merely a friend…any friend would have done what I did. I can’t blame myself for Tom’s indiscretion. No matter what B’Elanna felt…feels for me…or what I feel for her…that’s no excuse for his behavior. She hasn’t done anything wrong and neither have I. Romance, attraction…none of that ever came up once…and I had no idea how she felt. I won’t blame myself for this."
Sighing and rolling over on her stomach, resting her head on her arm, she further contemplated the other difficulties facing her. In fact, to the captain, nothing seemed to be right at all. This planet looked dead set on keeping them from enjoying themselves fully, she was without her best pilot to fly the ship off of it, and she still had yet to speak with any of her senior staff about the situation with Tom. Also, she knew she was going to have to face Torres again shortly and explain the situation, and Janeway had no idea how she was going to respond to the captain’s choice of punishment. And finally, she was going to have to have a conversation with Seven of Nine that she wasn’t sure she was prepared to have. She knew that sooner or later that Borg would have to learn the harsh truth that not every one always had unselfish and benign motives behind their actions, but she had hoped that she would learn that lesson from a stranger, or someone that she didn’t trust and have to see every day. Janeway had no idea how Seven would react to this, but she knew that she couldn’t keep it from her. She had to tell her that Tom had used her innocence and willingness to assist others for his personal and criminal benefit. Some things that the woman-child did completely astounded Janeway with their clarity to instinctual understanding, but more than not, whenever Seven has to learn this type of lesson, it did not go over smoothly, and typically, several other problems arose out of the situation. The captain was downright pissed at Tom for many reasons, but this one really ruffled her feathers for its complete lack of sensitivity to Seven’s situation or feelings. If Janeway wasn’t the dignified and responsible woman she was, she figured she would have liked to pop Tom Paris right in the mouth and few times just for what he was putting her through, and subsequently, what he was going to put Seven through.
When her door call sounded, softly, she pinched the bridge of her nose and said, "Come in," not bothering to get up since she knew it was her first officer. She had sent him a personal message right after informing Tuvok of Mister Paris’ punishment, and requested that he come to her office as soon as he logged in for duty. After that, she had informed the entire senior staff, with the exception of Paris, that due to circumstances that would be explained later, they were all to remain aboard the ship and arrive at their posts as soon as they were able. She knew she couldn’t expect all of them to be on time since she had sent the message in the wee hours of the morning, but she hoped that they would all at least be up and moving around before her afternoon staff meeting.
"You wanted to see me, Captain?" Chakotay asked, coming into the office, looking down at a PADD, holding a cup of coffee to his lips. When he didn’t see her at her desk, he looked up at the couch. Immediately realizing that something was definitely wrong since Kathryn rarely ever presented herself in such a manner, he decided to remain silent and just let her inform him of the bad news.
Finally taking her hand away from her head, she turned on her side, still lying down and said, "Thank you for coming so promptly. I’m afraid I have some bad news." Sitting up and reaching for her coffee, sighing when she tasted it to find it had grown cold, she said, stopping herself from getting more as Chakotay beat her to it and ordered a fresh mug from the replicator, "I had to throw Tom in the Brig this morning."
Almost tripping on the stairs as he climbed them, he was so shocked he asked, handing the mug to Kathryn, "What did he do?"
"Thank you," Janeway said, softly, her features still creased with unhappiness. "Off the record, he was basically a complete and total ass. For the record, he illegally accessed B’Elanna’s personal logs, as well as did a few other things that don’t really matter right now."
Shaking his head, Chakotay asked, obviously disgusted, "Why did he do it?"
Leaning back and running her free hand through her hand, she said, "That doesn’t really matter…I’ve already dealt with that…and I’d rather not get into it. Not that I don’t trust you, Commander, but for B’Elanna’s sake, I don’t think I should go into it. The less people that know, the better."
Nodding, not taking offense, he said, "Of course…I understand. So, where is he now?"
"I’ve confined him to his quarters for three days," she explained, removing herself from her couch and going back to her desk, just to keep moving before she collapsed from exhaustion or starting screaming at the top of her powerful lungs just because she couldn’t think of anything else to do right now. "I need to you to find a replacement for him for the next month…and possibly longer."
Standing up himself and taking a seat at the chair in front of her desk, he said, "I’m assuming you mean that you don’t want him on the Bridge for the time being?"
"No, I don’t…not for any reason," she said, crisply, leaving no doubt. "I’ll leave his duty assignment in your capable hands...I’m sure you’ll figure out where to put him until I review his status in a month."
"No problem, I’ll get right on it," Chakotay responded, sipping his coffee. "That does leave us with a pretty major problem though…he’s our best and most experienced pilot."
Holding her cup to her lips, but not drinking, she said, quietly, "I know…any ideas who could step up to the plate?"
Setting down his mug and crossing his arms over her chest, leaning back, he answered, "Actually, this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I wasn’t necessarily waiting for Tom to screw up again, but I was sort of preparing for it."
"Oh…have someone in mind?" the captain asked.
"Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of candidates," the tall, dark commander admitted. Scratching the side of his face, near his tribal tattoo, he said, "Kathryn, next to Tom, you’re the highest rated pilot on this ship."
Normally such an admission would give the good captain’s ego a shot in the arm, but knowing that she couldn’t possibly take over for all of Paris’ shifts, she sighed, "I was afraid of that…who’s next in line…that’s not a senior staff member?"
Thinking for a moment, he said, "Well, there’s Lieutenant Nicole Fowler from the Gamma shift rotation. She’s no Tom Paris…or Kathryn Janeway," he smiled, "but she’s pretty good. I think all she really needs is a chance."
"Fowler, yes…the tall brunette," Janeway said, pretending like she barely recalled the woman, when in all actuality Janeway thought she was a downright delicious looking woman, and had spent many minutes one day several years ago admiring her from a far in the Officer’s Mess. "I’m sure she’ll do fine. I want to get her up to speed as soon as possible…but don’t interrupt her shore leave time. I don’t want this incident to ruin anyone else’s personal time. As soon as we get back underway, schedule a meeting for the three of us."
"Aye, Captain," Chakotay bobbed his head once. "Do you want me to prepare to her to replace Tom Paris as a senior officer?"
"No…not yet…let’s see how Mister Paris handles himself," Janeway answered. "But, it can’t hurt to give her all the opportunities possible to prove herself capable either. Go over her service record, and keep and eye on her. If in a month’s time you feel that she can fill Paris’ shoes on a permanent basis, I’ll consider it, if I feel that Tom can’t handle the job anymore."
"Will do…only one more thing," he said, standing up, grinning, knowing that he was being dismissed. "Who’s going to pilot the ship when we depart?"
Smirking, Janeway said, "I might be an old Starfleet captain, Commander, but I think I’ve still got the right stuff."
"Never a doubt in my mind, Kathryn," Chakotay said shaking his head and walking away.
"Thank you all for coming on such short notice," Janeway said, looking out the window of the Conference Room with her back to her staff, that was short one member. "I promise to not keep you all long…I’m sure you’d all much rather be fishing." When that got a few chuckles from her officer’s that understood the colloquialism, she turned around, forced a small smile and continued, leaning in on the back of her chair, "I’m sure you’re all aware that Mister Paris isn’t present today. The reason for that is why I have summoned you. As of today, Lieutenant Paris has been reassigned to other duties for thirty days, pending my approval of his reinstatement as a Senior Bridge Officer." Sitting down when Harry Kim’s face turned ghostly pale and Neelix practically fell out of chair, she explained, "Normally, this isn’t something that I would call a staff meeting about, but this isn’t the Federation, and I don’t have the luxury of simply dismissing your concerns." When no one spoke up right away, most of the staff still in shock, she went on, "Lieutenant Nicole Fowler will take Mister Paris’ place on the Bridge during Alpha rotation once we disembark. It will take her a while to get used to operating under these different conditions, so I need all of your help to make her feel welcome. I’m sure she’s going to be apprehensive about this, but it is imperative that you all remember that this is not her fault, and I will not tolerate anything but you welcoming her with open arms. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Captain…Aye, Captain…Of course, Captain," came the melody of voices from around the room in unison.
"Good," she smiled, nodding her head, knowing that at least the people in this room wouldn’t see Nicole as some kind of opportunistic woman trying to take advantage of the situation.
"Captain, what did he do?" asked the Doctor, obviously curious.
"Doctor, that’s not something I’m willing to discuss. If you really must know, I suggest you ask Mister Paris once I release him from his quarters…I’m sure he’ll be spending a lot of time in Sickbay," Janeway said, instantly cranky. Once the holodoc relented looking like a puppy that had just been chewed out by his mistress, she said, "Now, Mister Kim, you said earlier that you had something you wanted to say?"
"Yes, Captain," Harry said, trying to put his mind to his task, but having trouble considering the news. Finally brushing the moment off, he said, "I’ve been working on a way to boost our transporter and communications signal to cut through the interference in case these storms persist, which looks like they plan on doing. I think we’ve landed right in the middle of this planet’s monsoon season."
"I’d have to agree," Janeway said, grinning crookedly remembering the ‘fun’ she had endured last night as Torres, Seven and she rode out one of the powerful thunderstorms. "Have you had any success?"
"A little," Harry nodded, "but, as much as I hate to say this…for the time being, I can’t recommend that you allow the crew to remain on the surface until I’ve had more time to work on it. All current weather projections show that we can expect similar storm fronts to move through this area for the next few days. The morning and early afternoon hours should be safe, but once the air starts to cool, more storms will develop."
Impressed that Harry would actually presume to recommend anything to her, she smiled and said, "Thank you, Mister Kim. Keep working on it today, though," turning to Seven of Nine, she said, "Seven…work with Harry and see if you can help speed things up a bit." Then looking at Chakotay to her left, she said, "Commander, inform the crew of the situation and set a curfew for sundown for the time being. Oh, and tell everyone that has campsites set up to return to the surface immediately and take them down. The same goes for the rest of you…whatever you have to do can wait until we’ve picked up after ourselves." After everyone nodded in unison, she said, "Thank you again…dismissed." When everyone got up to leave, she said, quietly, "Seven of Nine and Lieutenant Torres…a moment please." Once the rest of her senior staff has left them in private, Janeway requested, "Seven, will you wait for me in my Ready Room?"
"Yes, Captain," Seven nodded and then departed quickly.
Now that she was alone with Torres, who was still standing, she stood herself and walked slowly over to Torres and said, "Thank you for keeping a cool head about this, B’Elanna…I know it must be difficult."
Finally unclenching her fists and her jaw for the first time in what seemed like days, Torres sighed, "You have no idea."
Leaning up against the large table, crossing her arms over her chest she said, "Well, I guess it’s sort of obvious that your assumptions were accurate…I’m sorry I didn’t have a chance to talk to you personally until now, but it couldn’t be helped."
"It’s alright, Captain…I know you weren’t convinced immediately, but I was…I know better, I guess. And when I got your message that you were calling a staff meeting, I figured it out," Torres said, quietly, looking down at her feet and drawing small circles in the grey, threadbare carpet. "I’m just sorry that this has ruined your vacation…I get the feeling that you won’t be fishing again any time soon."
"No…probably not, but," Janeway said, dipping her head so she could at Torres’ face, "this isn’t your fault. You don’t owe me any apologies…understood?"
"Yes…but I still feel like shit about it."
"I know…can’t say I feel much better myself," Janeway said, her voice soft and comforting. Bringing her hand up to her chin, she said, "However, there are some things we have to talk about. I’m not going to order you to be nice to Mister Paris, but I do expect you to act civilly around each other. No matter how you feel about him personally, he is still a member of my crew and I can’t afford to lose both of you over this. He is being punished accordingly for his indiscretions and I need to know if you will continue to let me handle this. Can I assume that won’t have to throw you in the Brig as well?"
"Yes, Captain…you have my word. The only reason I’ll ever touch that man again is to save his miserable excuse for a life," Torres said, still looking down.
"That’s all I can ask," Janeway said. Then sighing as her engineer still refused to look at her in the eye, she said, "I guess that only leaves one thing then…what are we going to do about this…about…us?" When Torres still didn’t respond other then growing inhumanly still, Janeway admitted, "I don’t want to lose you."
"I’m not going anywhere, Captain," Torres said, now kicking her feet against the carpet again. "You still need an engineer…right?"
"Yes…but I also need my friend as well," Janeway reminded. "’Lanna, I know you’ll continue to do a marvelous job keeping this ship running smoothly, but since you still haven’t been able to look at me in the eye, I’m not sure…I just don’t know if we’ll get past this personally…and even though I don’t like that one bit…I can’t blame you for not wanting to be around me. All you need to do is say the word, and I’ll stay away…whatever you need, I’ll accept it, I promise."
Finally looking up at Janeway, Torres smiled modestly, "How do you do that?"
Not understanding, but smiling just the same since Torres was starting to come around, she questioned, now sitting on the edge of the table, "How do I do what?"
"How do you always know how to say the right thing at just the right time?"
Her smile now beaming as her eyes started to mist over on their own, she whispered, "Just luck…I guess. Does that mean…what I think it means?"
"Permission to speak freely, Captain," Torres said with more vigor.
"I thought that’s what we were doing?" Janeway came back, surprised.
"Just making sure."
"Go ahead."
Stepping up close to Kathryn, touching her legs with her hands, she smiled, "Red…I don’t know what that means other than I’m pretty sure you’re going to have to beat me off with a stick to keep me away from you." Taking one step back from Janeway who looked to be enjoying herself quite a bit, despite the fact that this was all occurring in the Conference Room with several people just on the other side of the door, and holding her arms out wide. "A big one." Then putting her hands back where they were and easing the captain’s legs apart so she could stand closer to her, she said, moving her hands up to the captain's waist, "I’m not going to pretend to not be crazy about you anymore. I can’t do it…and I don’t want to do it." When the next breath Janeway took caused her chest to shudder slightly, Torres went on, "I think you’re amazing, Red…you’re charming, intelligent, compassionate, stubborn, cocky, beautiful…and so goddamned sexy when you march around in this uniform that sometimes I can’t see straight." Her body now a mere centimeters from Janeway’s, she finished, "Like I said…it’s going to take a big, a very big stick to keep me away."
Her body now pulsating with sexual energy, Janeway brought her hand up Torres’ face, and caressed her cheek with her knuckles, whispering seductively, "I’m not sure…but I don’t think I have one big enough."
Grabbing Janeway’s hand and bringing it to her lips, backing away some, she said, "Good…and I’ll be sure I delete all large stick like objects from the ship’s replicator database." When Janeway chuckled, she eased her off the conference table, and said, "Red, I know this is weird…and tough…and you’ve probably got a million and one things running through your head right now, but just know that I’m not asking anything of you…other than that you keep an open mind."
Nodding, not really sure what that meant but glad that Torres had backed away because she certainly could not at this moment since her body was crying out to be touched, Janeway said, "Alright…as long as you promise to be patient with me. There are things that…"
Bringing her fingers to Kathryn’s lips, silencing her, she said, "Deal…and you don’t owe me any explanations. You’re a Starfleet captain, cowgirl… that automatically means you’re complicated." Then backing away and walking toward the door, slowly, she smiled, "Now I think you should go talk to Seven before she starts rearranging your office to make it more efficient." Just as she was about to walk out, she said, "And in case you didn’t know…I like complicated women…makes life interesting."
"Seven," Janeway said walking into her office after taking a few moments to settle herself, "sorry to keep you waiting." Not surprised to find that Seven had not taken a seat even though she had kept her waiting for almost a half hour, she said, walking up to the replicator, "Can I get you something?"
"I do not req…" Seven started automatically, then nodding, she amended, "No thank you, Captain."
Smiling crookedly over her shoulder, Janeway remarked, ordering a cup of coffee, "Well that’s new. Someone been giving you lessons, or is ‘No thank you, Captain’ simply more efficient?"
Seven stared at her for a moment, nonplussed, then said, "You are being facetious." Unraveling her hands from behind her back and following Janeway up the stairs, sitting down with her without being asked, she said, "Nevertheless, I was attempting to be more polite than I normally am considering the circumstances regarding this discussion."
Furrowing her brow, the captain asked, "Seven, do you think I asked you hear to yell at you?"
"Yell would be an inaccurate term since you do not normally raise your voice unless provoked, but yes, I am aware that you wish to speak with me regarding my involvement with Lieutenant Paris’ actions. I am here to inform you that I will not make this situation more difficult for you or B’Elanna Torres than it already is. I am prepared to accept my punishment, Captain."
"Seven," Janeway said, setting her coffee down, "I appreciate what you are trying to do…really, I do, but I didn’t bring you here to punish you." When Seven looked confused, she explained, "I know that you may think that you are partially responsible for Mister Paris’ actions, but you’re not…not in the least."
"Captain…it was I who accessed B’Elanna’s personal logs for Lieutenant Paris," Seven reported, her features narrowing in frustration. When Janeway nodded to her, informing her that she should continue to explain, Seven lifted her chin and began stating the events exactly as they had occurred, "Twenty-eight days ago, Mister Paris hailed me from Cargo Bay Two and informed me that he required my assistance in the holodeck. I met him shortly thereafter where he informed me that he needed to gain access to Lieutenant Torres’ personal logs, but he was having problems getting past the security protocols. So, I assisted him using various Borg encryption algorithms so his entry would not be detected."
"Did Tom tell you why he needed to get into B’Elanna’s logs without her knowing?" Janeway asked, certain that there was more to the story than Seven was stating.
"Yes, he stated that he wished to ‘surprise’ B’Elanna Torres with an anniversary present, but that he was having difficulty deciding upon a suitable gift, so he wanted to know if she had made mention of something she required in her personal logs," Seven answered, plainly.
Nodding her head, keeping her temper reigned in, she said, "And you believed him?"
Tilting her head slightly, a crease forming on her usually smooth forehead, she answered, "Yes, Captain. He was involved with Lieutenant Torres at the time, and even though their ‘anniversary’ was still several months away, I am aware that it is customary to exchange gifts on these occasions since they mark significant events in an individual’s life. Was I in error, Captain?"
"We’ll get to that in a moment," Janeway responded. "Did he say anything else to you?"
"Yes, he told me not to tell anyone what he was doing or it would ruin the ‘surprise,’ so I did not, until now, because I wished for Lieutenant Torres to enjoy her anniversary."
"How many times did you assist Tom?"
"Two more times, Captain," Seven answered. "After that, he thanked me for my assistance and told me that he thought he had acquired sufficient understanding to perform the task on his own."
Putting her chin to her chest, Janeway asked, "Did Mister Paris give you anything in return for your assistance or threaten you in any way if you divulged this information?"
"No, Captain…I do not believe the lieutenant would attempt to harm me. He would be at a clear disadvantage in a physical contest. Such attempts would be futile."
Chuckling just once, knowing that Seven could easily turn Tom Paris into Swiss cheese, she asked, "Did Tom ever tell you that he was accessing B’Elanna’s logs for any reason other than to find an idea for a present?"
"No, Captain."
"Seven," Janeway asked, her voice becoming quite and more comforting, "did you ever feel like you were doing something you shouldn’t be doing?"
"For two point three minutes I felt that his attempts to access B’Elanna Torres’ personal logs were unwise considering her volatile temper. However, when he explained to me the reason, I recalculated the risk, understanding that he was attempting to please her and that she would be appreciative. Considering her reactions last night and this morning, it is clear that she was not pleased in the least."
Sighing, she shook her head and said, "No…no she wasn’t, but not why you think…and thank you for explaining the situation to me. I want you to know that I believe you…I know you would never lie to me."
"No, Captain, I would not…I find that unacceptable."
Scooting over close to Seven and putting her hand and the tall woman’s thin thigh, she said, softly, "I know you do…and that’s what we need to talk about. As much as I hate to say this…sometimes…sometimes, Seven, not everyone finds deceit unacceptable, especially when they are trying to hide something, or trying to get someone to do something for them that they know they wouldn’t do if they knew the true reasoning behind their motives."
Nodding, looking down at Janeway, the Borg responded, "I am aware of this. I have seen you deceive many different individuals in attempts to protect this vessel and its crew. Are you saying that this is not acceptable behavior?"
"No…no I’m not saying that. You see, Seven, there’s a difference between lying to protect the lives of people, and lying for your own personal gain."
"Explain."
"Alright," Janeway said getting up and walking down the steps to the lower deck of her office, needing to move her body to stimulate the thought process. "Let’s use you and me for an example, okay? Say you and I were on an Away Mission, and we came across a species that hated the Borg, absolutely loathed them, and it was their sworn duty to kill any Borg drone, severed or not, that they encountered. So, I tell them that you are not Borg, and that you’re implants are simply…jewelry, or some kind of body art. That of course, is not true at all, but it is acceptable because it not only saved your life, but it possibly saved theirs as well since I would have been forced to destroy them if they continued to try and harm you."
Raising her eyebrow as her lips turned up slightly, Seven said, "You are assuming that I would not simply beam aboard their vessel and render them incapable first, Captain."
Smirking, Janeway said, "Right, but do you understand why that is acceptable behavior?"
"Yes."
"Okay, now say that…let me think…okay, say that you and I had a date all set up to go swimming together. We’d been planning it for days, and suddenly that day, I inform you that I can’t go swimming with you because I have too much work to do, but really, I decided that I didn’t want to swim with you as much as I wanted to have lunch with Chakotay…or Tuvok…or whomever. Instead of simply telling you I didn’t feel up for swimming and wanted to spend time with someone else, I told you a lie so that you wouldn’t get upset at me. I know that is probably a poor example, but do you see the difference?"
Straightening, not at all looking like she approved, she said, "Yes, I see the difference. My reactions to your first scenario were of endearment and gratitude, but this last example makes me uncomfortable to think about it. It is unpleasant to think that you would do that to me."
Suddenly worried that Seven was taking her example to the wrong way, Janeway bounded up the stairs, knelt in front of Seven and said, touching her hands, "Of course, I would never do that you, Seven. It was just an example, but do you see what kind of damage lying can inflict when it is used for personal gain at the expense of others?"
"Yes," Seven said softly. After remaining silent for a few seconds processing the data, she body growing inhumanly rigid, she said, "I believe I understand why you brought me here today. Lieutenant Paris lied to me. He had no intention of pleasing B’Elanna Torres." Suddenly very angry feeling like she had been used and tossed aside like she didn’t matter, Seven stood up, walked to the other side of the upper deck so she didn’t step on Janeway who was still on the floor, and shouted, "I find this unacceptable!"
Getting to her feet, knowing that this moment was going to come sooner or later, she said, "I know you do, and you have every right to be angry and feel hurt. What Tom Paris did was very wrong, and I’m so sorry that he dragged you into it."
Not as loudly, but still very tense and aggressive, Seven said, "I do not like this feeling. It is…uncomfortable to know that I cannot trust members of this crew. I do not know how to function with this knowledge."
Walking up to Seven and turning her around, she said, "Seven…I know this is hard for you, but I’m going to help you through this, alright?"
"How do you function when you cannot trust your collective?" Seven asked, her tone and demeanor desperate for answers now.
"It’s hard to explain," Janeway answered, rubbing the blonde’s thin arm, "but even though I know that some people may lie, I trust them anyway. Don’t let Tom Paris shade your view of this crew. The people on this ship are good, honest people. Yes, some of them more than others, but most of the time, they are trustworthy. When they are not, they are punished as Tom has been…as you have been when you’ve disobeyed my orders. Now I know there is a difference, you did what you did…well, because you’re you and it’s taken you a while to adapt to the changes in your life." Urging Seven to sit down with her, she put her arm around her shoulders and she finished, "And I don’t expect you to understand all the intricacies of human behavior either. I can understand them, most of the time, because I’ve lived my whole life as a Human. I merely have more experience than you do."
"Captain, I feel as though I will not know how to act around anyone else, other than you, now that I know that they would try to deceive me," Seven admitted, looking down at her hands. "How do I proceed?"
"Well, first of all, you have to put away your fears and go on faith that the individuals on this ship are being honest with you. It’s not fair to you, or them if you don’t trust them simply because they have the ability to lie to you. I could lie to you…but I choose not to do that," Janeway explained. "As for Tom Paris, well, if you never trust him again, I can’t say that I blame you, but you have to learn to separate personal feelings from professional ones. You may not wish to interact with him on a personal level, but professionally, he is still a member of this crew. Do you understand?"
"You have punished Tom Paris for lying, Captain…this is a contradiction since he was not on duty when the infraction occurred."
"No, I’ve punished Tom for breaking Starfleet protocols by violating B’Elanna’s privacy," Kathryn clarified. "I cannot punish Tom for tricking you or for why he did what he did…only for the rules that he broke."
After several minutes of quietly sitting and contemplating all the she knew and all that Janeway had told her, she finally said, "I believe I understand…and I will attempt to continue to trust my colleagues." Turning to Janeway, obviously still having difficulty, she asked, "Captain, I believe I will require your assistance in adapting."
"Of course…you know I’ll do whatever I can to help you…always," the redhead, responded without pause, patting Seven’s shoulder. "Do you have a plan of action…or was that just a statement to prepare me?"
"I have a ‘plan.’" Seven nodded. "Would it be acceptable to come to you and request your opinion whenever I feel as though I am being deceived?"
Nodding, although knowing that she was possibly putting herself into a situation where Seven of Nine would be at her front door every five minutes for the foreseeable future, but also know that she couldn’t decline simply because it would be inconvenient, she replied, "Sounds fair." When the tall blonde seated next to her seemed to relax a little bit, she asked, "Feel better now?"
"No, but I will adapt," Seven stated, standing. "Thank you for explaining this situation to me, Captain, and for offering your assistance. If there is nothing else, I wish to return to my duties…I believe Ensign Kim requires my assistance."
Resisting the urge to sigh, knowing that Seven was still having problems, but also knowing only time could heal her wounds, Janeway said, getting up herself and walking toward her desk, "Very well…let me know what you two find out." Just before Seven exited, she stopped her by saying, "And Seven…remember, this collective cares for your feelings just as much as anyone’s. Tom Paris is only one. One voice, one mind…that’s all he is."
"One voice is significant, Kathryn," Seven responded, softly, stopping and turning around. "Without that knowledge, I would not be here right now."
"No, you wouldn’t," Janeway acknowledge, being challenged yet again by Seven’s ability to turn the tables on her. Reaching deep down, hoping to find the right words to make Seven understand her point, she tried again, "But you are just as significant, Seven. One voice has power…great power, but only if you give it that power. Take back what he took from you…don’t let him have that power over you. I know you can do it."
Her voice small and uncommitted as she frowned and queried, "How is it that you have this ‘faith’ in me when I do not?"
Smiling brightly, Janeway said surely, leaving no doubt that it was gospel, "Because I trust you."
The next few days proved to be as troublesome as the captain has sensed that they would. Not only had this planet’s weather patterns turned out to be too chaotic for even Seven of Nine and Harry Kim to find a solution to their communication and transporter problem, but the knowledge of Tom Paris’ situation as spread like wildfire. Of course, no one, except a spare few that would never divulge that information, knew what he had done to warrant being confined to his quarters for three days, but rumors were as wide sweeping as Janeway had ever heard. Most speculated that it had something to do with Paris’ and Torres’ break up, which seemed to be common knowledge, although Janeway had no idea how that got out, but figuring Tom Paris had probably let it slip, or used it to his advantage to try an win the sympathy of another young woman he fancied. Some went so far as to say that Tom had finally pushed B’Elanna too far and she had beat him to a bloody pulp, which is why he was being confined to quarters while he recovered. Although, no one could ever explain why Torres wasn’t in the Brig if that is indeed what happened. There were a few more subtle, and slightly more accurate ideas floating around that it had nothing to do with B’Elanna at all, and that the captain had finally caught Tom doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing, which apparently, from the rumor mill, was any number of things, but of course, that wasn’t nearly as exciting, so the bloodshed rumor was the one that was gaining steam. Thankfully, no one seemed to be aware in the least that Tom had accessed Torres’ logs, and furthermore, no one seemed to have any idea of what they contained. That, notwithstanding, didn’t make the captain’s job any easier. Not only did she have to constantly put up with hushed tones whenever she walked around, as well as sideward glances, but she still had to bring a completely innocent woman into the fold of her senior staff for the time being, which Janeway knew, would probably set off a whole new set of rumors.
By the end of the third day, not only did she want to throttle Tom Paris for further complicating her already grossly complex existence, but she had to finally put an end to the crew’s liberty after a number of close calls. Hoping to make it up to the crew, somehow, she had informed Mister Neelix that he could plan a celebration for this evening as sort of a going away part since they wouldn’t attempt to leave the planet until the morning when the weather tended to be more amicable. As standard operating procedure, she had ordered that all members of the senior staff make an appearance, with the exception of Paris who would not be released until the morning, which meant that somehow she had to put on a happy face and face practically her entire crew compliment in less than an hour. She figured that her only saving grace was that both B’Elanna Torres and Seven of Nine would be there as well, the only two people the captain figured could get her to smile at this point. Since the other day after she had spend several private moments with each of them, she had barely had the opportunity to say five words to them combined while she worked double shifts trying to fill in for her crew so that they could take the few hours available each day to take some time off. She was not surprised when neither of the women returned the planet’s surface other than to gather the remains of their habitat, but she was slightly surprised when she hadn’t seen either of them except for a few quick moments here and there as they passed each other in the hallway or one of them delivered a report. And to her utter shock, but ultimate satisfaction, Seven of Nine had yet to approach her requesting her opinion on whether the captain felt that someone was trying to deceive the ship’s resident Borg. If Janeway didn’t care for them both deeply, she imagined that she probably would have been a little jealous since they seemed to be spending more of their duty shifts and off hours together, but truth be known, there wasn’t a jealous bone in the captain’s body with regards to their obvious, yet newfound closeness. She was slightly envious, but only because she wished that instead of running around her ship trying to finish one report just as five others were being thrust in her face, she could join them and simply delight herself in watching them be themselves.
Finally giving up on the Science report she had been trying to get through for the last half-hour, Janeway stood up from her desk into a full stretch, instantly regretting that. As her shoulders seized up on her, she groaned loudly, clutching her right deltoid muscles, trying to work out the painful tension. When her door call sounded, she couldn’t help but bark, cranky, "Yes, what is it?" Instantly regretting her mood as B’Elanna Torres appear behind the door, she said, rubbing her shoulders and sitting down, sighing, "Come in, Lieutenant."
Walking into the room to give the captain some privacy, she said, "If this is a bad time, Captain…I can come back…it’s not important."
"No, it’s fine. I’m sorry…you’ll have to forgive me…it’s not the company," she said, smiling some, just happy to see someone who wasn’t trying to get her to okay a special side trip to the rainforests on this planet and requesting that they stay an extra few days to allow for a geological survey. Janeway absolutely loved scientists, being one herself, but sometimes, their overzealousness made her job difficult since they never seemed to care too much about anything other than their work, whereas she had to balance the science out with resources and common sense. "What can I do for you?"
"This isn’t a professional visit, Captain," Torres said, folding her arms over her chest and looking down. "I know you’re busy, so if you don’t have time right now, I understand."
Her shoulder now working fairly well, Janeway stood up, rounded the corner of her desk and said, heading toward her replicator, "Can I get you anything, ‘Lanna?"
Sighing with relief on the inside, Torres said, brightening, "No thanks…don’t take this the wrong way, but you like hell. You okay?"
Looking over her shoulder quickly, then turning back to the replicator, trying to decide if she wanted coffee or something stronger, she chuckled, settling for coffee right now, but looking forward to having a nice, stiff drink later in the evening, "You noticed." Then more seriously, she said, "Yes, I’m fine…thank you, just tired."
"Well, I came here tonight to see if you wanted to grab a quick bite to eat before the party," Torres said, following Janeway up toward her couch, "but it looks to me like food isn’t what you need." When Janeway looked at her with a mixture of curiosity and trepidation, she said, taking the captain’s mug from her and said, "Take off our jacket."
"I beg your pardon?" Janeway said, her mouth falling open in surprise.
Rolling her eyes, Torres laughed, "Kahless, I’m not trying to jump your bones right here." Scooting in behind Janeway, putting one leg on each side of her, she said, reaching around and unzipping the captain’s tunic, "Do all Starfleet captain’s have such a dirty mind, or is it just limited to the cute ones?"
Finally understanding that Torres was about her give her a massage, and not able to resist since they always made her feel so wonderful, Janeway said, pulling off her black and red jacket and tossing it to the other side of her couch, "Let me get back to you on that one…it’s been awhile since I’ve talked to any." When B’Elanna put her strong hands on her shoulders and began rubbing them firmly, she moaned, her head falling forward, "Mmm…bless you child."
"My god…I didn’t think it was possible for someone to be this tense," Torres said, having a hard time getting her hands to loosen up the muscles in the captain’s shoulders, "Is this normal?"
"You think this is bad…mmm...you should have seen me the first year we were out here," Janeway snorted. "You could have repaired the hull with my back muscles. This...mmm...is nothing."
"Well, I guess I’ll just have to stop by for coffee more often then," Torres whispered. "As long as the captain doesn’t object, of course."
Smiling, Janeway said, placing her hands on Torres’ legs, "As long as it doesn’t interfere with our duties…mmm…I don’t see a problem. I’m sure the Doctor would be thrilled… you can't believe...mmm yes...um, how much he nags me." When her muscles finally started to become pliable and Torres was able to really work her magic, Janeway hissed, clutching B’Elanna’s legs firmly, "Hmmmno…I can’t see a problem at…mmm…all…mmm with that…mmm. God, ‘Lanna…that feels so good…youhavenoidea."
Now way beyond turned on thanks to the sounds Janeway was making, Torres swallowed and said, "Red, you’ve got to shut up now…you’re killing me."
"Hmm?" mumbled Janeway, not understanding. "What did I say?"
"It’s not what you say so much as how you say it," Torres explained, moving down the captain’s spine. When Janeway moaned again, Torres said, "You’ve got to have the sexiest voice known to man…so, please, stop talking…or I’m gonna have to go."
Chuckling, she said, pouring on the sultry tones purposefully, "Well…I guess I’ll just have to...mmm...be quiet then…because I certainly don’t want you to leave." When B’Elanna pinched her arm, she laughed, "Alright…I’ll stop…don’t go." After a few minutes of silent pleasure, Janeway said, "I know I’m supposed to remain quiet, but I was wondering…how is Seven doing? I’ve seen her as much as I’ve seen you."
"She’s okay," Torres smiled. "She told me about helping Tom, in case you’re worried I didn’t know."
"Mmm…I’m glad she told you, at least her honesty hasn’t been affected by all of this," Janeway said, her whole body almost completely relaxed now. "I’ve noticed you two have been working a lot together this last couple of days…has she talked about how she feels about what happened much?"
"About every ten minutes she asks me a question about something someone said to her, wanting to know if I thought she was being deceived," Torres chuckled, mildly, remembering how cute Seven looked when she asked those questions. "I think we’ve gone over every conversation she’s ever had, except the ones she had with you, since coming to Voyager in the last three days, but she’s doing better now. I think she’s starting to understand how to tell when people are possibly lying to her…it’s a hard lesson to learn though, not growing up around it."
"Mmmhmm," Janeway nodded. "I’m glad she felt like she could come to you with those questions…that says a lot about what she thinks about you. And thank you for being there for her…when I can’t be. It means a lot to me."
"No need to thank me, Red," Torres said, easing up on the massage. "All of this craziness this week has really given me a new perspective about Seven…one I like…a lot," admitted the brunette. "I’m just sorry it took me so long to see what you saw from the beginning."
"Well, thank you nonetheless," Janeway said, softly. Turning around sideways so she could see Torres’ face, she said, "I couldn’t be more pleased knowing that you and her have worked out your differences and developed a close relationship."
Feeling a little uneasy, B’Elanna asked, "You’re not…jealous, are you…that we’ve been spending so much time together?"
"Heavens no," Janeway came back quickly. "Maybe a little envious that I can’t share in the fun as much as I’d like to, for obvious reasons," she said, moving her arm about motioning toward the ship, "but that’s not something that can be changed. But jealous, no…because I know that Seven and you both are enjoying yourselves, and that makes me happy. Plus, for some reason, which I can’t figure out, you both seem to like me a great deal…and I get to have my moments with each of you. They sustain me…more than you know."
"I know you might not believe me when I say this," Torres said, running her finger across Kathryn’s jaw, "but there is not one moment of the time Seven and I spend together that we don’t wish you were right there with us."
Bowing her head, turning up one corner of her mouth, she said, "You’re right…I don’t believe you…but thank you." When the door call sounded, she sighed, and said softly, touching her hands to B’Elanna’s lips, "It never ends." Then not sure she was ready to have visitors since she was technically off-duty, she asked, "Computer, who is at my Ready Room door?"
"Seven of Nine," answered the computer’s feminine, monotone voice.
Smirking, she said, standing up, but not bothering to put on her tunic, "Come in." Once Seven entered, she grabbed her now cool coffee and asked, "Were you’re ears burning, Seven?"
Coming to a stop just in front of Kathryn on the lower level, she said, raising her eyebrow, "Captain?"
Waving her hand, not feeling like explaining, she said, "Nevermind. What can I do for you?"
First nodding at Torres who was still lounging on the Captain’s couch, she said, "B’Elanna Torres." Then turning to Janeway, she said, "It is fortunate that both of you are here. I came to ask if you both would accompany me to Mister Neelix’s social gathering this evening."
Spinning back, glancing at Torres who looked like nothing at all was strange about Seven’s request, she turned back around and asked, "You want to escort…both of us?"
Nodding once, affirmatively, she stated, "That is correct. I do have two arms, Captain."
Standing up, Torres jumped in, "Yea…she’s got two arms." Then walking down the steps and standing next to Seven, she said, "Come on, live a little."
Crossing her arms over her chest, looking very defiant, she said, "And give me one good reason why I should listen to you?"
Putting on her most stubborn face, throwing it right back at Janeway, she said, "Why don’t you give me one good reason why you shouldn’t."
Finally throwing her hands in the air, turning and putting on her tunic, she huffed, "I can’t think of any."
"Efficient," Seven said to Torres, smirking.
"Thanks," replied Torres, elbowing Seven, "I’ve been taking lessons."
Zipping up her uniform and smoothing out any creases, she said walking down the steps and toward the door, "Why do I get the feeling I’m out numbered here?"
After turning over the Bridge to Ensign Kim who had elected to remain on duty for the night, wishing to gather as much sensor data as possible about this planet’s severe weather systems, since they continued to wreck havoc on the ship’s ability to communicate with and transport personnel off the ship, hoping to learn a few new tricks that they could use down the road, Janeway entered the turbolift just ahead of Seven and B’Elanna. Once inside she requested, "Deck Two." Then turning to Seven who was standing in the middle, she asked, "Seven, since when have you been so eager to attend a social gathering?"
Looking down at Kathryn, she answered, her voice as pure and arrogant as ever, "Since the possibility arose of escorting this vessel’s two highest ranking, female officers."
"Good one, Seven," Torres laughed, patting her on the back. "Don’t forget…the most attractive, as well…right?"
"You are correct, B’Elanna Torres. I did not mention that because I assumed it was obvious," Seven stated, now looking at Torres.
Laughing, thinking this whole thing was some kind of joke Seven and B’Elanna whipped up to try to make her smile, Kathryn said, exiting the turbolift, "Seven, dear, did you hit your head?"
"No,why do you ask?"
"Don’t take this the wrong way…but you’ve never been one to bother with flattery before," Janeway remarked, continuing down the hall.
"I have discovered a new avenue of research on social interraction," Seven explained, taking Janeway’s and Torres’ arm simultaneously. "It has been much more informative than the Doctor's previous lessons."
"And where did you find this new…avenue?" Kathryn asked, taking her arm out and showing Seven how the gesture should actually work.
"I read the books on the table in your bedroom," Seven explained, looking down at how Kathryn was holding her arm and memorizing the image. Then turning to Torres who was happily holding Seven’s arm, not as gracefully, but still relaxed, she memorized that image as well.
"Now I understand," Janeway laughed, speaking more to herself, quiet. Shaking her finger at Seven as they neared the Mess Hall she said, "I should have known. Well, did you like them…or was it a purely scientific endeavor?"
"Their premises were simplistic in nature, but not unappealing," answered Seven.
Finally speaking up, Torres leaned forward, looking over Seven’s chest at Janeway and snickered, "Thank god she didn’t find my stash of trashy romance novels."
Before Janeway could respond, they walked into the crowded Mess Hall. Thankfully, for the captain, the party was in full swing, so only a few people turned around to gawk at the female trio. Turning to Seven immediately, Janeway bowed her head, unraveled from the tall, Borg, and said, "Thank you for escorting me, Seven. If you’ll excuse me."
As Janeway walked away and began slowly making her rounds, Seven turned to B’Elanna who had not let go of her arm and asked, "I do not understand…was I in error?"
Patting Seven’s hand, Torres explained quietly, "No, Seven…she’s the captain…she has to mingle with the crew. It’s part of the job, don’t take it personally."
Raising her eyebrows, understanding to a certain degree and trusting that Torres was telling her the truth, she said, "I believe I understand." Then searching her eidetic memory for the appropriate gesture, she asked, "B’Elanna Torres, do you require liquid refreshment at this time? If that is the case, I will retrieve it for you."
Smiling brightly, Torres said, "I’d love a drink…I’ll have a beer."
"Very well, I shall return," Seven said, turning and marching toward the Mess Hall’s main replicator. Ordering a beer, using the recipe she knew Torres preferred, and then ordering a whiskey and soda for the captain, she gathered the contents from the energy grid and proceeded to the captain’s position. Coming up behind the smaller redhead, not knowing how to proceed since she didn’t see her and was obviously involved in a conversation, Seven trust the tumbler into Janeway’s vision, stating, "Captain Janeway, your liquid refreshment."
A little startled, Janeway took the glass and said, as the whole group around them became silent, "Thank you, Seven…that was very thoughtful."
Nodding, Seven said, hoping she was using the correct phrases, "It was nothing, Captain. If you will excuse me…Lieutenant Torres also requires liquid refreshment." Then turning quickly again, making her way back to Torres, not paying any attention to anyone else who happened to be in her way, she said, handing the bottle to Torres, "B’Elanna Torres, your liq…your ‘drink.’"
"Thanks," Torres smiled, taking a healthy swig immediately. Then looking up and Seven, she asked, "You’re not having anything?"
"Synthehol adversely affects my neural processor. I find the sensation unpleasant."
"Well that stinks," Torres snorted. "Well, we’ll just have to come up with something you can drink that doesn’t do that then."
"That would be acceptable, since it seems that the primary purpose of these gatherings is to ingest liquids," Seven said, looking around the room. Watching Janeway glide around the room, making the task look so simple to the Borg who thought that socializing was one of the more difficult aspects to her new found Humanity, she asked, "B’Elanna Torres, how is it that Kathryn can move from one conversation to the next without pause and remain focused?"
Leaning against the bar of the kitchen, Torres said, eyeing Janeway and smiling, "It’s a gift, Seven. It’s what she does. I don’t really know how she does it either…but that’s just her." Watching Janeway laugh and lean against one of her science officer’s shoulders while she cackled, then lifting her glass and making a rousing toast, Torres said, "She certainly does make it look easy, though."
"Indeed," Seven nodded. "Are you not comfortable with social gatherings?"
"Oh, they’re okay," Torres admitted. "But I usually just hang out with my few close friends, though. But since Harry is on the Bridge, and Chakotay isn’t here yet…and well, since Tom turned out to be a weasel, to be nice, you’re really the only one I want to talk to…other than Red, but she’s still doing the captain thing right now." Nudging Seven, she said, "Let’s go grab a table before they’re all taken."
Finding a small table in the corner where they could not only talk without being heard, but had a fairly unobstructed view of the captain, Torres said, sipping her beer, "You know, dollface, I’ve got to hand it to you…asking the captain and me to accompany you tonight took guts. I don’t think I could have done it." Leaning back, she asked, "Was that just a random thought, or have you been thinking about what we talked about two nights ago?"
"I have been pondering what you said,and I believe that Kathryn is not yet prepared to hear what I have to say," Seven said, looking back at Torres. "My attempt tonight was to merely help her adapt to the idea of spending her time with the two of us together, instead of separately."
"Well, I think it was a good idea," Torres nodded, watching the captain who had finally stopped moving all around the room and took up a post amongst a group of scientists. "And if you aren’t ready to tell her, then I’m not going to push you to do it. I think you probably know her better than anyone…certainly better than me."
"Have you given any more thought as to when you wish to approach her about reinstating the slip stream project?" asked Seven.
"Yea…I’m gonna wait ‘til we take off and the new pilot has had a chance to be acclimated," responded Torres, finishing her beer. "I think Red’s gonna have her hands full for a while…so I don’t want to push our luck. We’ve got to catch her at just the right moment…hopefully, I’ll know when that is." Leaning forward, resting her head on her elbow, she continued, "In the meantime, we’ll just keep working on it when we can…thankfully, I’m the Chief of Engineering, so no one will think anything of it. And what we can’t do in Engineering without making people curious, we’ll just download to my quarters or the holodeck."
"Acceptable," Seven nodded. Then softening some, she asked, "B’Elanna Torres, there is something that I have been meaning to ask you for thirty-seven hours and fifteen minutes. It is a personal request, so I have not had the opportunity. May I make it now?"
"Sure."
"I know that I do not have to say this, but I must do so anyway. This information is confidential. You cannot inform the captain until I have had a chance to do so."
"My lips are sealed…what’s up?"
"The Doctor has informed me that my body is beginning to reject my abdominal implant as my human physiology continues to assert itself," Seven explained.
"Whoa," B’Elanna said, shocked. "Seven…are you saying that you’re going to lose your abdominal implant totally?"
"That is correct," Seven nodded. "It could still be several weeks, but it is inevitable."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that I will no longer be able to regenerate using my alcove. I will need to sleep and ingest solid nutrition at regular intervals, as you do," responded the Borg, obviously not liking that idea at all. "I will be different…I will not be what I am now. I will lose a good portion of my regenerative abilities. I will be more susceptible to illness. I will no longer be as efficient."
"That sounds serious…why haven’t you told the captain?" ask Torres, frowning.
"I have been under going treatment for this condition for several months. Until my examination today, it was not certain that it would have to be removed. I hoped to inform Kathryn of the situation after this evening’s festivities, but I wish for you to accompany me," Seven said, looking away. When she felt Torres’ hand on her arm, she turned and said, "This news will undoubtedly cause Kathryn a great deal of pain since she feels responsible for my well being. I am uncomfortable performing such tasks. I will require your assistance."
"Of course, I’ll help you, Seven," she vowed, squeezing the blonde’s arm. "There’s more that you aren’t telling me…isn’t there?"
"Yes, but I only wish to experience the process of divulging the information a single time. Would it be acceptable for you to wait until Kathryn is present as well?"
Swallowing hard, not liking the sound of that at all, Torres forced a smile, and said, "Sure…anything for you, tootse."
Smiling softly, Seven closed her eyes and nodded.
"Hey B’Elanna…Seven," Harry Kim said, coming up to the table. "Mind if I join you?"
"Pull up a chair, Starfleet," Torres teased. "I thought you were on the Bridge?"
"Commander Tuvok took over for me so I could come down," Kim explained, taking a seat across from Seven and B’Elanna. "So, have I missed anything exciting?"
"Ensign Kim, do not attempt to engage us in irrelevant conversation," Seven informed, sounding very much like the woman she was three years ago.
Taken back, then noticing the smirk on Seven’s face, he laughed, "That was good, Seven…you had me going for a minute."
"Thank you. Do you require liquid refreshment? I would be happy to supply you with some."
"Thanks, Seven…I’ll have a beer, I guess," Harry smiled. Once Seven had left, he asked, "What’s gotten into her?"
Smiling, Torres said, "It’s complicated…don’t ask."
Walking up to the captain who was in the process of exchanging stories with a few fellow scientists, Seven came to a stop directly beside her and waited patiently for the conversation to stop, or for Janeway to notice her. When the captain put her arm around her and asked, "What’s up?" Seven turned to her and said, "Captain, may I have a word with you for a moment?"
"Sure," Janeway smiled. Then turning toward the group who were watching the two with a good deal of interest, she said to Samantha Wildman, "Take notes for me, Ensign…I’ll be right back." Following Seven into the kitchen, curious as to what was going on, she asked, "Is something wrong?"
"No," Seven explained once they were in private. "I merely have a personal request to make and I did not wish for it to be made in front of the crew."
"Oh…okay, what is it?"
"I need to speak with you regarding a personal matter after tonight’s festivities."
Sighing with relief, Janeway smiled, squeezed Seven’s arm and said, "Oh, is that all? I thought you were about to drop a bomb on me."
Not understanding the expression, but filing it away so she could research the meaning later, Seven said, "Yes, that is all. Since I do not know when you will be departing, I thought I best that I come to you now. I will remain in the Mess Hall until you are prepared to leave."
"Alright…sounds like a plan," Janeway nodded, taking her hand away. Leaning back and folding her arms over her chest, she asked, "Are you having fun?"
"No, but I am not as uncomfortable with this ritual as I normally am," Seven answered, plainly.
"Well…you know what they say," Janeway said, heading back for the main gathering area, "practice makes perfect."
Sighing, having heard that expression many times and never believing it once, Seven straightened her shoulders and followed Janeway’s path. Shaking her head as she saw the captain already back at the conversation looking like she had never left, Seven went to the replicator and retrieved two more beers. Taking back to the table were Torres and Kim were now laughing and swapping jokes, Seven said, setting the beverages on the table, "Your liquid refreshment." Taking her seat and alternating between watching Harry and Torres whoop it up, and Janeway wow the significant crowd now gathered around her, Seven silently prepared herself for the conversation she knew was unavoidable.
Taking with her arms and smiling brightly, Janeway kept one eye on Seven of Nine for the rest of the evening. After retrieving another drink for herself and listening to a few more stories, the captain started to grow concerned as Seven’s face took a definite downward turn. During a lull in the conversation, Janeway politely excused herself and slowly walked toward Seven who was now looking down at the floor obviously deep in thought. Not quite sure how to approach Seven without drawing too much attention to herself, she stopped at the buffet and nibbled on a few crackers while watching the blonde out of the corner of her eyes. Harry, B’Elanna and Chakotay were all gathered around the table, drinking and laughing, and just when she was about to become slightly annoyed with Torres for neglecting Seven, she saw something that not only warmed her heart, but stuffed it into her throat as well. From her vantage point, she could see under the table…and under the table, she saw Torres move her hand to Seven’s thigh and pat it lightly. At first she thought it was a simple act of comfort, but when Seven placed her hand on top of B’Elanna’s and entwined her fingers with the engineer’s, Janeway knew that it was a least a little more than a comforting gesture.
Taking a healthy swig of her drink and a deep breath, she turned around facing her senior staff and walked over to them like she didn’t have a care in the world. Staying away from Seven and B’Elanna, not wanting to interrupt their moment, she came up behind Chakotay, elbowed him softly and asked, "Room for one more?"
Resisting the urge to make a comment about the captain sitting on his lap, he said, "I think so…make room for the lady, Harry."
After Kim had scooted farther over in the booth, she said, "So, what have I missed?"
Putting his arm around her, knowing she was comfortable with that, Chakotay said, "Oh, you know…just swapping our favorite Captain Kathryn stories." After receiving a sharp elbow in the stomach, he said, "Not too much…but you missed Seven’s fascinating explanation of why we all should be fitted with neural transceivers."
Looking up from the floor, Seven stared at Chakotay and Kathryn for a moment, not understanding why Chakotay would say something that was not true. Just before she lost her temper, Torres squeezed her hand, signaling that it was a joke. Then raising her eyebrows, and tilting her head, she said to Janeway, "He is being facetious, Captain." When that caused all of them to burst into laughter, Seven continued, "However, if you wish to hear a detailed explanation as to the benefits of neural transceivers, I have detailed data on the subject."
After everyone finally stopped laughing, Janeway said, stilling trying not to break out into another giggle fit, "I’m sure you do, Seven." Winking at her and clicking her tongue, she said, "I’d expect nothing less." Raising her glass, she announced, "Here’s to Borg efficiency." When all of the color drained from Seven’s face, Janeway set her glass down, instantly worried and inquired, "Seven…what’s wrong?"
Letting go to Torres’ hand and standing abruptly, Seven said, "It is nothing…Captain. If you will excuse me…I must…I must return to my alcove." Ignoring the captain’s hails Seven made tracks for the doors, moving as quickly as her long, powerful stride would take her. Once she was through the doors, she took off for the turbolift, running as fast as she could, thankful that the corridor was empty.
"Shit," Torres allowed, getting to her feet and running after the captain who was halfway to the door. "Captain…wait!" she yelled, catching up to her. Not wanting to make bigger scene than she already was, she whispered, putting her hand on her back and urging her toward the exit, but not as quickly, "I’ll explain on the way."
Once they were out of ear shot, Janeway asked, slowing her pace, but just barely, "Was it something I said?"
"Yes," Torres nodded, then explained, "but not why you think."
"What on earth is going on?" Janeway asked, approaching the turbolift.
Stepping inside, she said, "It’s not my place to say. Why don’t you go to your quarters and I’ll go get Seven?"
"Why my quarters? Why can’t we just both go to the Cargo Bay?" Janeway came right back, impatient.
Sighing, Torres pleaded, "Kathryn…you’ve got to trust me on this one, alright…please, for Seven’s sake, just go to your quarters and I’ll go an get her."
Crossing her arms over her chest, Janeway nodded and said, "Deck Three."
The next fifteen minutes felt like some of the longest moments of Kathryn Janeway’s life. Now dressed only in her pants and grey, form-fitting t-shirt, minus her shiny, black boots, she stood staring out at yet another churning thunderstorm, her heart and stomach feeling very much the same as the black rain clouds. Sipping another whiskey and soda because she desperately needed to settle her nerves and since she had only had half of the other one she abandoned due to her quick departure from the party, Kathryn placed her other hand on her narrow hips trying to figure out not only what set Seven off, but what it was that she was about to find out. It was obvious from the way B’Elanna had acted that she knew exactly what was coming, which didn’t make Kathryn feel any better…not after what she had witnessed them doing just minutes ago.
"Is that what this is all about? Does Seven want to tell me that she’s fallen for B’Elanna and she thinks I’m going to be upset? God, am I really that transparent? Has all this attention recently been her trying to let me know that even though she cares for me…she doesn’t love me…not like I love her?"
"Oh god…that’s it! That’s why she hasn’t come to me with her questions like she said she would. She’s been avoiding me…trying to show me that she doesn’t need me anymore."
"But what about B’Elanna…what’s she doing then? Is she leading Seven on? Maybe she doesn’t know how Seven feels? No…she has to know…she was holding her hand for Christ sake. B’Elanna doesn’t just hold someone’s hand…that’s not like her. I don’t understand…how can she tell me she’s crazy about me in one minute and then be with Seven the next?"
"It doesn’t matter…that doesn’t matter now. I’ll just tell B’Elanna that I’ve thought it through and I can’t get involved. Then Seven can be with her…I’m sure B’Elanna won’t turn her down. Yes…that’s what I’m going to do. I can’t hurt Seven by stealing B’Elanna away from her. It’s not right."
"But…what am I going to do about me?"
"I don’t know…but I’ll think of something," she said out loud, rubbing her head out of habit, not because she was in any pain, other than the pain that she already was feeling in her heart. "God…I’ve lost them both." Spinning around at the sound of her door call, Janeway quickly put down her drink and said, her voice cracking, "Come in," as she held her hands together at her waist, something she only did when she was a nervous wreck. As soon as Seven appeared, looking pale and worn, her shoulders hunched down, being guided in by Torres, Janeway started for her, but then stopped after only one step, realizing she would have to tone down the affection from now on, for everyone’s benefit. Coming to a halt, abruptly, she said, "Seven…I’m sorry if I upset you…that was never my intention."
Leaving Torres where she stood, Seven quickly closed the distance between herself and Kathryn, threw her long arms around the redhead’s shoulders and said, "You do not owe me an apology. I did not mean to embarrass you in such a way. I could not help myself."
Now totally confused, Janeway hesitantly wrapped her arms around Seven at first, but when Seven didn’t let go immediately, she couldn’t help but embrace her back equally as strong saying, "It’s okay. You didn’t embarrass me. But if I didn’t upset you…then why did you leave?"
Pulling away, her normally crystalline eyes becoming faint blue pools of agony, Seven said, "I…I… " Craning her long neck back at Torres, who was standing at the door looking like she’d rather be ejecting the warp core instead of witnessing this, she said, "It is unacceptable…I will not do this."
Recognizing the tone in Seven’s voice, Torres snapped out of her selfish desire to flee and rushed over to Seven, recommending, "Maybe we should sit down." Helping Seven to the captain’s couch that rested against the wall underneath one of her large windows, which was not an easy task since the Borg was quite a bit taller than her and practically unmovable at times, Torres said to Kathryn who was about to sit on the single chair adjacent to the couch, "Kathryn…over here…please." Once they were all seated, Torres took Seven’s hand in hers and urged, "Go on, Seven…you can do it."
"I do not wish to do it," she whispered futilely considering Janeway was sitting right next to her. Then with more vigor, she stood, practically knocking Torres off the couch and stated, "I have changed my mind. I will find another way. I apologize for disturbing you both. Good night."
Before Torres could say anything, Janeway was on her feet, her mind racing at the speed of light, trying to determine the best course of action. Falling back on what she knew best, Janeway barked, authoritatively, hoping this tone would get through to Seven, "Seven of Nine…stop right there." When Seven’s hasty forward moment halted, she ordered, "Turn around and look at me." Seven did turn, hesitating for an instant, but she refused to look upon the captain. Morphing just as quickly back to Kathryn, Janeway made a path to Seven, her footsteps, that normally commanded the very ground beneath her feet, were silent but equally steady, "Seven…please…look at me. I need to see your face." As Seven looked up at her, her blue eyes red with tears that she refused to let blemish her alabaster cheeks, and her full, coral lips trembling, Janeway whispered, "Whatever it is, you can tell me."
"I do not wish to cause you pain, Kathryn," Seven cried as the first tears dripped from her eyes, her eyes now longer able to contain them.
"You can’t hurt me," Janeway explained, whipping the tears away as her own eyes started to mist over just from watching the normally ice cold blonde give into her delicate side. "You can only hurt me if you don’t tell me the truth. Tell me the truth…whatever it is…I need you to tell me."
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, her chest convulsing, Seven of Nine responded, trying to speak clearer now, "Then I will tell you."
"Do you want to sit down?" asked the captain.
"Yes."
"Alright…come on," Janeway cooed, putting her free hand behind Seven’s back, leading her back over to the couch where B’Elanna was sitting patiently, the corner of her mouth turned downward severely. Putting Seven back in the middle, but not letting go of her hand, she said, "Okay, Seven…go ahead."
Taking another ragged breath and reaching for B’Elanna’s hand, now feeling anchored by the two women she loved, Seven began, "Kathryn…"
Urging Seven on with her head, dropping her chin to her chest, the captain responded, "Yes…"
"My…my…my," she stuttered, shaking, her emotional mind spinning out of control. Then stopping for a few seconds, forcing her analytical mind to take over, finally steeling herself and prepared to recite facts without acknowledging the emotions that came with them, willing herself to say the words, she explained, "As my Humanity continues to assert itself, my body has begun to reject my abdominal implant."
Not expecting that at all, Janeway blinked a few times, nonplussed, before what Seven said actually hit home. Once the captain realized that this was a medical condition and not a strictly personal matter, Janeway’s cheeks began to drain of all their previous brightness, and she asked, seriously, "When?"
"The process began several months ago. I have been undergoing treatment during that time, however the Doctor’s attempts to counteract the process have failed. It will need to be removed."
Looking down at Seven’s spined stomach, seeing the edges of the implant and how they stretched from just below her breasts to her hips, Janeway inquired, her words still deep and pure, "What does this mean…exactly?" When Seven began to tremble again, Janeway cracked, fast and hard, "Seven…tell me what this means."
Looking over at B’Elanna, more tears falling now, she nodded once and pleaded, "Please assist. I cannot complete this task."
Recovering from the harshness of the captain’s voice, shaking a little herself now, she explained, bobbing her head rapidly, rubbing Seven’s arm, "Without her implant, Seven won’t be able to use her alcove to regenerate. She’ll have to eat regular meals and sleep like the rest of us. She’ll be more susceptible to disease…and she won’t be able to recover from injuries as quickly."
Taking a moment to think all of this through, Janeway finally said, sighing with relief, changing again to the woman with ease, "Seven…I know that this is going to be a major change for you, but you’ll get through this. I know you’ll adapt just as well as you’ve adapted to everything else. And B’Elanna and I will help you through it."
"Yea, Seven…it won’t be so bad. Sure, it might take you a while to get used to Neelix’s cooking and sleeping lying down…but just think of all the good stuff. You’ll be able to have your own bed where no one will walk in on you in the middle of regenerating. You’ll have a place to put your private things and a place to go when you don’t want to be around anyone else," Torres said, brightly, trying to bring Seven around. "Hey, we’ll even have a housewarming party for you. Those are the best because everyone has to bring you gifts…great way to get free stuff."
When Seven still did not stir or respond in the slightest, Janeway’s heart began to beat against her chest furiously as she sensed that there was something she was missing, and apparently so did B’Elanna because the brunette’s eyes were beginning to darken with worry and fear as she did everything she could to lighten the mood. "Seven," Janeway croaked, her voice failing her miserably, but not able to help it, "is there something you’re not telling me?"
"I am Borg. Fear is irrelevant. Pain is irrelevant. I am Borg." Repeating her mantra several times before she moved a muscle, Seven of Nine finally stood with purpose in one fluid movement, using only the muscles in her legs to lift her. Her body rigid and mechanical, she stated, walking away so she could pace back and forth, holding her hands in fists at her sides, "Kathryn, my abdominal implant masses one twelfth of my total body weight. Several of my bodies systems depend on it to function. The procedure to remove it will be extensive."
Standing herself, not even realizing she had done so, but not moving other than that, Janeway asked the question that had to be asked, but scared the life practically out of her, "Are you saying this procedure is life threatening?"
"That is correct." Turning around and looking directly at Kathryn, Seven said, placing her hands behind her back and stating the facts as if she were not speaking about herself, "There is a thirty-eight point seven chance that my body will no longer function without the implant. For the procedure itself, there is a twenty-six percent chance that the Doctor will not be able to remove the implant completely."
"Is this an all or nothing kind of thing…can he remove only part of it?" asked Torres, she too on her feet.
"No…it is ‘all or nothing,’" Seven responded, her focus centered now. "If the procedure is successful, and my body adapts accordingly, the recovering period will be extensive. After which, I will no longer be able to function on this ship as you are accustomed." Looking away for a moment, then demanding that she not depart from her objective, she continued, "I will not be as efficient. Nor will I be as strong. I will be fragile, easily damaged…unremarkable." Now having to look away from Kathryn’s eyes that were swirling with extremes like the clouds of a typhoon, she finished, "I will not be the same. I will no longer be…me"
"Seven," Janeway jumped in immediately, determined to end Seven’s pain, finally finding her legs and moving over to the ex-drone, "You’re abdominal implant doesn’t define you…you make you who you are. Everybody changes…we’re all changing every day." When Seven did not look convinced, she said, "Seven, if B’Elanna cut off my arm, and the Doctor couldn’t repair the damage…would you feel differently about me? I wouldn’t be the same. I wouldn’t be able to do everything I used to do as easily. It would take me more time to accomplish tasks. I’d probably get tired easier. I’d certainly look different. If that happened to me, would you think I was a different person?"
"No, Kathryn, I would not," Seven said, certain.
Palming Seven’s stomach softly, she said, "And I, nor B’Elanna, or anyone else is going to think you’re a different person just because you won’t be able to do all the things you used to do. We’ll adapt…you’ll adapt…we’ll all do it together."
Kathryn’s touch killing her reserve, Seven whispered, scared to utter the words too loudly, placing her hand on Kathryn’s, "I am…frightened of these changes, Kathryn. I do not want them to occur, but I cannot stop them." Grabbing Kathryn’s shoulders again and clinging onto her, she cried, " I do not wish to be terminated."
"Seven," Janeway gasped, feeling as if her heart was being ripped from her chest. Then setting her jaw and swallowing back her tears, forcing herself to be strong, she pulled away some and said, her voice now strong and sure as it had ever been, "You will not die…do you hear me? I didn’t risk everything I have in this world to get you back from the Borg to let this take you away from me. It’s unacceptable, and I will not allow it."
Wiping away her own tears, joining the group, Torres chimed in, "And neither will I. You’re a long, long way from StoVoKor, dollface…that’s a promise." She squeezed Seven’s shoulder and her vowed, "On my honor."
Gathering both of the smaller women into her chest, Seven said, nodding her head, "I will comply. I am Borg. I will adapt."
In unison they all said, "Resistance is futile."
Freshly showered, wearing a crisp, clean uniform, Janeway marched down the corridor, feeling like she was preparing to go into battle. Not only was Sickbay her least favorite area of her ship, but the knowledge that she was going to have to endure that Doctor’s highly irritating personality, as well as the troubling specifics of the ship’s resident Borg’s condition didn’t bode well for the captain’s mood this morning. Rounding the final curve, completely lost in thought, Kathryn almost ran into Torres who was obviously fairing just as well as her commanding officer. Stopping short, just before she plowed into B’Elanna, Janeway said, touching the brunette’s arm to keep herself steady, "Lieutenant…I’m sorry, I didn’t see you."
"My fault, Captain. I wasn’t watching where I was going," Torres said, shaking her head. Then holding out her arm, she said, "After you."
Resisting the urge to straighten her collar and tuck her hair behind her ears, Janeway slammed her command mask down over her features which effectively whipped all emotions, good or otherwise, from her classic features and stepped through Sickbay’s silver, pneumatic doors. Not stopping immediately, leaving enough room for Torres to come through, she took a few steps to her left as she tried not to stare at the Doctor and Seven of Nine. Seven was lying flat on the biobed, stiff and unmoving as the Emergency Medical Hologram ran a scanner over her midsection.
Looking up from his task, the Doctor raised on eyebrow, and said, "Good morning, Captain. Lieutenant, is there something I can do for you?"
Answering for Torres, Seven said, "She is here at my request, Doctor. Her presence is required."
"Hmm," he mumbled, curious. Then waving his hand, he said, "Well, the more the merrier, I guess. Please go wait in my office…we’ll only be a few more minutes."
"Thank you, Doctor," Janeway said, ignoring his attitude, for the time being, although knowing that it wouldn’t take much to set her off this morning. Taking a seat in front of the Doctor’s curved desk, nearest to the door, she sat, crossing her legs and folding her hands in her lap, not uttering another word.
After a few minutes of silence, Torres finally said softly, not looking at the captain, but leaning in closer, "I feel like I’m gonna puck."
Sighing, Janeway admitted, equally quiet, "I know what you mean. I’m so tied up in knots I couldn’t even stomach coffee this morning…and I didn’t get a wink of sleep."
"Join the club," Torres smirked, ruefully, looking over at Kathryn.
When Seven and the Doctor appeared in the window, Janeway immediately stood, holding one hand to her trim torso, flat, something she only did when she was either feeling completely in…or out of her element. "Seven, do you want to sit down…I can stand?"
"No thank you, Captain…I prefer to stand," Seven said, placing her arms behind her back, looking as calm and collected as she had ever been.
Leaning back in his chair smiling, the Doctor said, "Well, since it seems like we’re all friends here…I’ll forgo the introductions."
Narrowing her eyes, pinning the hologram with her most powerful stare, sure to reduce mere mortals to quivering balls of flesh instantly, Janeway barked, irascible, "Doctor." When the holodoc twitched ever so slightly, she asked, crisply, still eyeing him, put turning off the laser beams, "What precisely is Seven’s condition."
"Vorik to Lieutenant Torres."
Sighing, Torres slapped her communicator angered, and asked, "What is it, Vorik?"
"We are experiencing problems with the deflector shield’s primary systems. Power output is down to sixty-one percent and continues to decline."
"Fine…on my way," the engineer growled, clenching her fist. Standing, she said to Seven, "I’m sorry, Seven."
"Do not apologize. I will ‘fill you in’ at a later time."
"Keep me informed, Lieutenant," Janeway asked as Torres bounded for the door, a tight, tense ball of nerves, irritation, and clenched muscles. After Torres responded with a quick, "Aye, Captain," Janeway, under any other circumstances would have probably chuckled as she heard, "I’m gonna kill those idiots," just before the door closed, but today all she could do was sigh. Turning back toward Seven, she said, "Why don’t you sit down now, Seven."
Missing the comfort of her half Klingon companion, Seven nodded, moved the chair right next to Kathryn’s and sat, remain quite since she already knew most of what the Doctor was going to say.
Putting her arm around Seven automatically and stroking her back softly, Janeway said, "I’m sorry, Doctor…you were saying?"
"As I have been informed that you are aware, Seven’s abdominal implant must be removed. Her body will simply no longer support its functions."
"Do you have any idea when this will have to happen?"
"Yes, it will need to be removed in the next seven days," responded the Doctor.
Feeling like she was just punched in the stomach, Janeway gasped, "So soon? I thought this was weeks away?"
"As you well know," the bald, hologram said, "the Borg are anything, if they are efficient." When Janeway didn’t find his comment the least bit humorous, he continued, "Now that we have exhausted all efforts to counteract the process her body is rejecting the implant at an increased rate. After examining her this morning, I’ve come to the conclusion that we cannot afford to wait."
"Maybe B’Elanna can do something to slow the process…she has a great deal of knowledge when it comes to Borg technology…just to give us a little more time to prepare for the procedure," Janeway jumped in, thinking on her feet, something she had always been good at, but never realized her full potential until she was flung to the far reaches of the Milky Way.
"It is futile, Captain," Seven answered, looking over at her. "I can no longer regenerate in my alcove."
"Maybe B’Elanna could help with that too. I think we should at least try," she informed, desperately.
Sighing, Seven said after closing her eyes for a moment, "It is futile, Kathryn. Last night at 0300 hours my regeneration cycle ended abruptly. When I attempted to resume the cycle, the computer stated that I was no longer compatible with my alcove. B’Elanna Torres and I spent the entire night attempting to reconfigure the primary matrix. We were unsuccessful. My physiology is changing too rapidly. Once we were able to recalibrate for the changes, my cycle was terminated almost immediately. There is nothing more we can do."
Nodding once, turning back toward the Doctor, she asked, "Alright, then how do we proceed?"
"Assuming Seven’s body doesn’t begin rejecting the implant at a move rapid pace," the Doctor said, leaning back in his chair, and kicking his legs up on the desk "I’d like to perform the procedure in six days. I’ll need Lieutenant’s Torres and Paris to assist me since it will be complicated and extensive to say the least."
"Unacceptable!" Seven yelled, standing. "Lieutenant Tom Paris may not assist you."
"Why not?" the Doctor asked, aghast and sitting up straight now.
"Seven," Janeway tried, standing and well and grabbing her arm.
Shrugging away from Janeway, Seven ranted, flailing her arms about, "No…I will comply. It is unacceptable. We will find another way."
"What’s going on here?" asked the Doctor, perturbed and shocked.
Turning only her head, Janeway asked, her voice growing low, "Doctor, will you give us a moment…alone?"
Realizing that he should not argue with Janeway’s tone, he said, nervous, "Uh…yes…I’ll just…be around." Then quickly, he mumbled, "Computer, deactivate EMH."
Once the holographic doctor has dematerialized, Janeway went over to the Doctor’s desk, pressed the sensor pad, which sealed the door and dimmed the windows before she spoke. Sighing, talking to Seven’s reflection in the window since Seven’s back was to her, she said, "Seven…I know how you feel about this, but Tom is the Doctor’s assistance. If the Doctor says he needs him…then we have to let him help."
"Irrelevant!" Seven yelled, folding her hands over her chest and looking away.
"You’re wellbeing is not irrelevant," Janeway came back, her voice starting to lose it’s even timbre as Seven continued to balk.
"I will not allow Tom Paris to touch me. It is unacceptable."
"Seven," Janeway said, moving one step closer, "Please try to calm down and list…"
Turning around toward Kathryn, she continued to rave, "I will not calm down. I am angry. I do not like this situation. I do not want Tom Paris’ assistance. We will proceed without him."
"The Doctor can’t do that," Janeway said, talking with her hands, trying to remain calm. "He said it’s too complicated of an operation."
"Insufficient. He will adapt," Seven spat.
Her fuse almost out, Janeway responded, folding her hands over her chest, "You’re being unreasonable…and illogical."
"Irrelevant. I will not comply."
Janeway’s face now solid and a rock, she took a deep breath and warned, her voice softer, but with more of a foreboding edge to it, "Seven…I don’t want to order you to let Mister Paris assist the Doctor, but I will if you force me to. Please reconsider."
Her eyes growing wider, Seven said, disbelief clear in her tone, "You would not."
"Oh yes I would," Janeway responded without missing a beat, leaving no doubt whatsoever.
"Unacceptable!" Seven shouted stalking about the room now.
"Irrelevant!" Janeway barked, harshly, speaking to the Borg in familiar terms in an attempt to get through.
Spinning around, now across the small room, staring at the smaller captain, "Why would you do this to me? Explain!"
"Because I’m not going to lose you dammit!" Janeway rallied, completely losing her cool. Spinning around, squeezing the bridge of her nose, taking a few moments to pull herself back together, she said, softer, "I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to yell at you like that…I just…"
Never before seeing her captain, her mentor, her most trusted friend give into her emotions like that before, crashed through the Borg’s automatic defenses like they were made out of paper. Her voice now small and devoid of her previous ire, she urged, "Explain 'I just.'"
Looking up at Seven’s reflection through the window, with tears of hurt, sorrow and regret in her eyes, she said, "I just can’t lost you, Seven…not when there’s something I can do about it." Turning to face her, she continued to explain, "Even if you hate me for the rest of your life…at least I know you have one. I can’t lose you…you’re too important to this family…too important to me. I…I…" she stammered, the words she had been longing to say on the tip of her pale lips, "I," losing her nerve she amended, "you have no idea how much I care about you. I can’t lose you. Please…don’t make me do this." Then hardening again, but not as much, she declared, "But I’m telling you…as God as my witness, I will do it if I have to."
While Janeway had been pouring out her heart to her, Seven had slowly closed the short distance between them. Once Janeway had finished, Seven threw her arms around Janeway, now certain that Kathryn loved her, even though she had not spoken the words, and said, "I will comply. Please do not be distressed. I will allow Tom Paris to assist the Doctor."
Pulling away enough she could wipe the tears from her face, she whispered, "Thank you."
Holding Janeway’s shoulders, Seven said seriously, "But you will have to inform, B’Elanna Torres."
"Oh god, I forgot," Janeway sighed, lowering her head. The nodding and pushing herself away, she said, "Alright, I’ll tell her." Walking toward the Sickbay’s ensuite, she sniffled, "I’ll be out in a moment…go ahead and bring the Doctor back."
Nodding and taking a deep breath, placing her hands behind her back, straightening, showing no signs of the altercation, she said, "Computer, activate the Emergency Medial Hologram"
"Please state th…" the hologram stated, only because it was hard-coded into his programming. Then amending as soon as he was able, he asked, looking around the room, "Where’s the captain?"
"She is using the facilities, Doctor. She will rejoin us momentarily."
"Well, would you mind telling me what is going on? I am your doctor, Seven," he huffed, sitting back down in his chair, noticing that the doors were now sealed and the window had been darkened for privacy reasons.
Sitting down as well, folding her hands primly in her lap, Seven stated, "The conversation is irrelevant. I will comply with the captain’s wishes. Lieutenant Paris may assist you."
"Nevermind my wishes," he mumbled as the captain exited the small bathroom, her face serious, but not revealing any of her inner turmoil, except for a small redness around the eyes, but it was barely noticeable and made her look tired rather than emotionally overwrought.
Hoping she didn’t look as haggard as she felt, Janeway said, sitting down and putting her arm back around Seven, just to keep up the façade that nothing was amiss, and asked, "Where were we, Doctor?"
Rolling his eyes, and sighing, he said, "As I was saying…I will need Tom and B’Elanna to assist me." Pausing to see if anyone was going to further object, she nodded and continued, "We should begin preparing immediately. We’ll have to run simulations in the holodeck for several days so ensure that Tom and B’Elanna are totally prepared."
"Of course, Doctor. Anything you need, just let me know. This is top priority."
"Thank you, Captain," the Doctor, smiled, curious. Then waving it off, he said, looking at Seven, but speaking to the captain, "As for Seven, she’ll need to relax and remain off duty."
"Done…what else?"
Wondering how far he could take this, but then deciding he should press his luck, he further explained, "As the next few days progress leading up to the operation, it is vital that she maintain her strength. Since she cannot regenerate, she’ll have to be on a strict regiment. She’ll only be allowed to ingest water and her liquid nutritional supplement, and she’ll need a place to sleep. She can stay here in Sickbay, of course…"
"I’ll take care of it," Janeway broke in. "What else?"
Furrowing his brow, he said, "Alright then…let me see…oh yes," now looking directly at Seven only and speaking to her, he explained, "Seven, there’s a good possibility that going without regeneration for several days will been to take its toll on your body. You may begin to feel nauseous due to the changes in how you are providing your body with what it needs and while your digestive system…what’s left of it…begins to adapt." When Seven looked at him like she did not understand, he sighed, rolling his eyes and said, "You’ll probably get sick to your stomach and vomit."
Scrunching her face, not liking the sound of that, Seven said, looking at Janeway, "That sounds…unpleasant."
"Well, it’s not really a pleasant feeling…or so I’ve been told, but it is a natural human reaction." Turning back to Janeway how was doing her best to keep Seven comforted, he said, "Captain, someone will need see to Seven’s needs since Tom and I will be occupied preparing for the procedure. She should not be left alone for long periods at any time during this week…there’s too much of a risk that her condition could worsen, or that she could faint and hurt herself as days wear on."
"Understood, Doctor…I’ll see to it personally," nodded the redhead. "Is there anything else?"
"Yes…try to keep us out of harm’s way for a while…if that’s at all possible. We’ve got enough variables to deal with."
Stepping into the carriage of the turbolift after Seven, Janeway said, once the doors were closed and she had selected their destination, "Seven, I can’t take the whole week off, but I’m going to arrange my schedule so that I can work from my quarters. I do have a few meetings to attend to today, so it is okay with you, I’ll have Commander Chakotay come and take my place while I’m gone. You’re comfortable with him, right?"
"That will be acceptable," Seven said, staring straight ahead.
"Seven…look at me…are you okay?" asked Janeway, stepping in front of the tall Borg and looking up at her.
Doing as she was asked, Seven said, "I am distressed. This situation is difficult for me to accept."
Clutching Seven’s arm, Kathryn said, "I know…but we’ll get through it…and you’ll be fine, Seven. The Doct…"
"That is not the reason for my distress, Captain," Seven interrupted, but not rudely. "I am confident that the Doctor and B’Elanna…and Lieutenant Paris will be successful."
"Then what’s wrong?"
"I am burdening you once again," Seven explained, crisply and detesting the words. "This is why it was difficult for me tell you. And know I have not only caused you pain, I have forced you to give up her personal time to care for me because I cannot do so myself. Your responsibilities are great enough without my influence on them…however, there is no alternative that I can see since B’Elanna Torres and the Doctor will be occupied. I am not pleased by these series of events. They are unacceptable."
Allowing Seven to talk even though she wanted to stop her instantly, knowing she had to let Seven get this foolish idea out of her system before she could deflate it, Janeway responded, folding her arms over her chest once Seven was done, "Computer, halt turbolift." Bringing her hand her chin, Janeway said, "Seven," exhaling loudly, she changed her mind and said, "You have to be the most stubborn, thick-headed woman I’ve ever met in my entire life." Looking up at Seven, grabbing her by both of her arms, but not harshly, she said, "I don’t want to have this conversation again…ever. You are…not…a…burden…to…me. Do you understand?"
"But Kath.."
"No!" Janeway stopped her. "You have never and will never be a burden to me. Period. You are Seven of Nine…you are my Astrometrics officer. You have created systems on this ship that have saved us from destruction at least ten times and taken five years off of our journey home. You are a member of my senior staff. I put the lives of the rest of my crew in your hands every single day." Taking a breath, trying to calm herself, she said, softer, "And you’re Seven…my friend. We play Velocity together…we paint together and pretend," he smirked, "to sculpt together…we share meals and stories…we’ve stayed up all night arguing…we’ve stayed up all night whispering. You come to me when everyone else is afraid to and tell me when I’m being foolish, or narrow-minded. You give me a whole new perspective when no one else is able or willing." Stepping in close to her, their faces only centimeters apart, "You make me laugh when no one else can…you make me so mad I could rip my hair out. You walk right into my office without knocking, then turn away without being dismissed. You do things that you find irrelevant and inefficient only because I ask you to do them. You work god-awful hours trying to please me." Placing her hands on Seven’s face, standing as tall as she could, she said, "I have watched to grow into the most extraordinary thing, Seven of Nine, and it has been a defining moment of my life to witness that. You are so many things to me…but a burden is not one of them." Backing away some, she grabbed Seven’s hand, held it to her heart and whispered, "Remember that piece I told you about?"
Seven merely nodded, her voice stuck in the back of her throat along with her breath.
"It grows a little more everyday…please, please don’t ever doubt what I’ve just said…or you will cause me pain."
"Then I will not."
Smiling, Janeway said, releasing Seven and taking up a post next to her, "Computer, resume." Once they were on Deck Three, both of them stepped out of the turbolift and made the short walk to the captain’s quarter’s in silence. Pressing her long elegant finger to the sensor pad to open the door, she said, over her shoulder as she stepped inside, "Welcome home."
"Kathryn," Seven asked, fondling the tulips in the vase on the captain’s table, "what is the purpose of displaying decomposing organic materials were you consume your nutritional supplements?"
Seated at her desk, logging in for duty, preparing to inform Chakotay via a memo of the situation, Kathryn chuckled, "They’re called flowers…and I think they’re pretty. Don’t you like them?"
Eyeing the pink and white pedals, Seven responded, "I am aware of their designation. However, I do not understand their purpose."
Smiling and shaking her head, wistfully, she said, "They’re purpose is that they make me happy."
Filing that bit of information away, and reminding herself to ask B’Elanna Torres if flowers also pleased her, Seven said, "I have researched various cultural customs and have learned that giving flowers to someone is deemed an acceptable gesture for a great many occasions. Were these given to you or did you re…" Seven started to ask, but then stopped as her enhanced hearing picked up the vibrations in the floor before she actually felt them. Grabbing onto the edge of the table as the floor beneath their feet lurched and shimmied, Seven said, "I believe the there is a malfunction with the landing struts, Captain."
Jumping to her feet, holding onto the edge of the table with one had while she tapped her comm-badge with the other, Janeway barked, "Janeway to the Bridge…report."
"Captain…the ground beneath us is saturated. We’re starting to sink into the mud." Harry Kim said, his voice full of apprehension.
"Mister Kim, set Condition Blue…I’m on my way," Janeway said, heading toward the door. Motioning toward Seven, she said, "Come on, Seven…you’re with me, Doctor’s orders." Then picking up the pace, turning stride into a jog, she said, tapping her comm-badge again, "All hands, this is the captain. Prepare for emergency take-off. Secure all stations and seal any emergency bulkheads…you have one minute." Stepping into the turbolift, shaking her head she said, "Bridge."
The ride in the lift taking less than thirty seconds, Seven and Janeway stepped out of the lift. As her tall Astrometrics officer started for the auxilary tactical station, Janeway ordered, "Seven…take my seat." When Seven balked, Janeway said, crisply, "Now." Then turning to Kim, who was up at Operations as Tuvok and Chakotay stepped out of the other turbolift, she asked, walking down the steps reaching the command deck, "Status, Ensign?"
"Condition Blue is set, Captain. All stations are reporting ready," Kim said, looking up at her, obviously relieve that reinforcements had arrived.
"Hull pressure around the struts is at maximum, Captain," Tuvok reported from Tactical. "We must disembark immediately, or they will give way."
As Tuvok was reporting the situation, Janeway was already making her way down to the conn where a young brunette, Ensign Roxanne Baker sat looking more than a little uncomfortable. Since this not being the time for pleasantries, Janeway lightly shoved her out of the way with a smoky, "You’re relieved, Ensign." Sliding into the chair, thankful that Baker had had the sense to power up the landing thrusters, she engaged them to maximum, yelling as the noise of the thrusters and the shaking grew loud, "Everybody hang on!" After ten seconds when they had still lifted more than a few meters, the suction of the ground versus the weight of the ship testing Voyager’s thruster capabilities, Janeway slapped at her communicator, yelling, "Janeway to Engineering…whomever is down there…I need more power to the thrusters now!"
"Torres here, Captain…I can give you another twenty percent, but that’s it…any more and they’ll burn up."
"Let them burn, Lieutenant…I need everything you have…and I need it now!"
"Aye, Captain…thruster output now at one hundred fifteen percent and rising."
"Tuvok," Janeway said, looking down at her board, "Let me know the moment we’re airborne."
"Thruster output at one hundred and twenty-eight percent, Captain…reaching critical velocity."
"Come on…just a little more…I know you can do it," Janeway whispered, coaxing her beloved ship to do her bidding.
"Twenty seconds until critical velocity, Captain…I can’t stop it…"
"Tell your team to stand by for damage control, B’Elanna…let the thrusters go," Janeway commanded, her fingers at the ready. "Mister Kim…route as much power as you can to the inertial dampers."
"We have are clear, Captain," Tuvok said with as much enthusiasm as a Vulcan could allow. "Thruster failure in ten seconds."
Engaging the impulse drive at full, needing to get forward movement as quickly as possible before the thrusters failed, Janeway brought the ship to a safe height, free of any obstructions like mountains and other things that could demolish the tiny ship at those speeds if they were unfortunate enough to get in the path of one, drastically, praying that there was enough power being routed to the inertial dampers to compensate for the drastic change in speed and altitude. Only being pulled back in her seat slightly, she sighed, knowing that it wasn’t enough to cause any serious injuries to any poor souls that might have not be prepared. Once they were twenty thousand meters from the surface, she finally let out the breath she was holding and leveled off the nose of her ship, stopping their rapid ascent. Noticing the red blinking sensors on the helm board, she tapped her comm-badge again, slowing the ship to one forth impulse and said, "Janeway to Engineering…report."
"Well," Torres sighed audibly, "the thrusters are officially toast, Captain. We can’t land the ship again until their repaired."
"How long?" Janeway asked, rubbing her forehead and resting her arm on the edge of her flight control board.
"I’m guessing, but I’d say three days…at least…I’m going to check them out now."
"Alright…and be careful!" she quickened her meter abruptly, thinking through the possibilities. "I want you all in full environmental suits. It’s probably hotter than hell down there. Report to my Ready Room with Lieutenant Carey as soon as you have an estimate."
"Aye, Captain. Torres out."
Taking the ship into a low orbit, and then nodding to Ensign Baker who was standing to the side of helm, still holding on to the handrail, she said, getting up from the soft, black chair, "As you were, Ensign." Then turning around, getting a small chuckle out of seeing Seven seated in her chair and Chakotay next to her, his knuckles white as they’d ever been, she said, walking to her office, "Seven, Chakotay…you’re with me. Tuvok…she’s all yours." Then stopping and spinning around, she smiled, crookedly, "And Harry…you can breathe now."
Once inside her Ready Room, she said, going over to her replicator, "Commander…something to take the edge off?"
"No thanks, Captain," he smiled, shaking his head, completely bewildered at how she could manage to continue to crack jokes when they came so close to being stuck in the mud for god knows how long, or unflattering decoration on the side of a cliff.
Ordering a coffee for herself and water for Seven, remembering the Doctor’s orders and prepared to follow them to the letter, she said, handing the glass to the beautiful blonde, "Why don’t you have a seat on the sofa and drink this."
Knowing that Kathryn was completely in her element at this moment and not wishing to deter from it since she enjoyed watching her express this side of her, Seven responded, smirking some, "Yes, Captain," and did exactly as she was told.
Sipping her coffee and coming around to her desk, ignoring the bewildered look on her commander’s face, she said, "Have a seat, Commander." Plopping down into her chair and staring at him for just a moment, enjoying this little game she was playing probably too much, but needing the tension release, she finally smiled and said, "Don’t worry, Chakotay…I haven’t hit my head recently."
Finally smiling a little, realizing he was being played, quite well, he said, scratching the area around his tattoo, "Good…you had me wondering for a minute."
Chuckling, she set her coffee down, glanced over at Seven, not surprised to find she was not attempting to ignore them, and said, "I’m sure." Then folding her hands together, leaning on her desk, becoming more serious, she explained, "Seven is ill. Her body is starting to reject her abdominal implant. So, until the Doctor has had sufficient time to prepare for its removal, she’s under my supervision."
Looking at Seven who was now eyeing more of the captain’s flowers which where scattered liberally around her office, he said, "Sounds serious."
"It is," she said, a little more solemnly that she wished. Then pushing off her fears for the time being, she said, leaning back, "So, I can’t really have her following me around like she’s my shadow. She needs her rest and that’s what she’s going to get." Tapping her personal computer and logging in, she said, "For the next six or seven days I’ll be working from my quarters where Seven is staying. Lieutenants Torres and Paris will be assisting the Doctor in the holodeck and wherever else he needs them to be to prepare for the operation. I was hoping we could stay planet-side until after the procedure…but that’s a moot point now. I’m going to place Lieutenant Carey in charge of Engineering while B’Elanna is detained, and I’ll schedule a meeting with Nicole Fowler for later today." Looking over at him, she said, "I’ll leave the rest of the wrangling to you. I know it’s going to be tight for a while, but I’m sure we’ll manage."
"Of course, Captain…is there anything else I can do?"
"As a matter of fact," she smiled, knowing he had no idea what he was getting himself into, Janeway said, "You can escort my patient to our quarters and keep her company until I return. I’d let her stay here, but," looking over at Seven who had stopped studying the flowers and was now watching the duo closely, "there are a few matters I must attend to that require a little more...discretion." When Seven raised her eyebrow at her and titled her head, Janeway shook her head and chuckled, rolling her eyes. "She needs to rest, drink plenty of water, and ingest her liquid nutritional supplement every four hours. The Doctor’s specific instructions are in memo on my personal computer, if you have any questions."
Giving her a look that said many things, all of which meant, "You owe me big time, Kathryn," he nodded, standing, "Aye, Captain." Then turning to Seven, he said, "Seven, you heard the boss...let's go."
Walking down the stairs, taking her water with her, she asked Chakotay, "Commander, are you also in the habit of displaying decomposing organic materials in your quarters as well?"
When Seven did not wait for an answer and left him standing their, bewildered, he turned around as Janeway started cackling and mouthed, "I’ll get you for this."
"Come in," Janeway said, fighting a yawn that the interruption tried to induce and turning toward her door.
Marching into the captain’s office with Lieutenant Carey in tow, both of them looking a little worse for the wear, Torres greeted, coming to stop in front of Janeway’s silver desk, "Captain."
"Have a seat," Janeway offered, grabbing her coffee and leaning back. Once they were both seated, she said, "I can tell by the look on your face that I’m not going to like what you’re about to tell me, Miss Torres."
Sighing, Torres said, "Captain, the thrusters are beyond toast." When the captain didn’t look the least bit surprised or upset, she went on, "The intake manifolds are gone…as in non-existent. What’s left of them is on the soles of our environmental suits. The power converters are fused and will have to be completely rebuilt…and," she said, folding her arms over her chest, "the Jefferies Tubes on that deck are filled with smoke. I’ve shut down the ventilation system on Deck Fourteen and ordered everyone out of there until the air can be recycled and the filters cleaned."
"That’s about what I figured," she sighed. "What about the landing struts?"
"Two of them have sustained significant hull damage," answered the chief engineer. "But the other have checked out so far. I’ve got Vorik and Nelson down their scanning for microfractures."
Nodding, pleased, but not surprised that Torres had been thorough, she questioned, "Good. How long?"
"Three days, minimum, Captain…assuming we don’t find more problems."
Bringing her hand to her chin, lightly tracing the strong curve with the back of her index finger, looking now at Lieutenant Carey who seemed puzzled as to the purpose of his presence, she asked, finally looking back at Torres, "How long without you?"
Expecting that question, she said, "Four days…maybe five."
Eyeing Torres closely for a minute to see if she was possibly exaggerating, then finally accepting that, she explained, "Mister Carey, due to circumstances beyond my control, Miss Torres’ talents will be required elsewhere for the next several days. I’m putting you in charge of Engineering and thus, the repairs. It is imperative that B’Elanna’s attention not be taken away from her other tasks. If you have a problem, I want you to come directly to me... I don’t care what time of the day it is, and I’ll see to it. If it is beyond my control, then I, and I alone will request her assistance. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Captain," Carey nodded his balding, blonde head quickly.
"Good. Be sure to relay that message to your staff, Lieutenant. And thank you…I’m sure your team will do a fine job. Dismissed." When Torres got up to leave as well, she said, "Not you, B’Elanna." Once Carey had departed, she asked, "Can I get you something?"
Loosening up a little, but not totally, she said, sitting back down, "No thanks…everything still smells like scorched metal."
Smiling ruefully, she said, "I’m sorry for destroying the thrusters…but it couldn’t be helped."
Shaking her head, she smiled, shrugging, "Hey…it’s your ship…I just work here."
Changing her face and looking at B’Elanna seriously, but softly, titling her head to one side, she asked, "Has the Doctor contacted you?"
Looking away for a moment, then facing front again, she said, her tone quite and controlled, "Yes, Captain."
Janeway set down her coffee, got up from her chair, maneuvered in front of Torres, leaning against her desk, and said, "I assure you…Seven was none too thrilled about it either…but I’m going to ask of you what I asked of her."
Lifting her chin so she could look Janeway directly in the eyes, Torres said, "You don’t have to ask, Captain. It won’t be a problem."
For several seconds Janeway held Torres’ stare. Looking deep into her brown, shadowy eyes, searching for any reason as to why she shouldn’t believe her, and finally not finding any, she nodded, proud and said, "Very well, Lieutenant. I’ll inform Mister Paris of the situation and then tell the Doctor that he can begin immediately tomorrow morning. I want you to take the rest of the day off to rest, considering you were up working all night."
As Janeway sat down and was about to dismiss her, Torres spoke up, "Captain…I think it might be best if I talk to Tom about the situation."
Pursing her lips for a moment, Janeway responded, "I don’t think that’s such a good idea."
"Will you at least hear me out before you decide?" Torres asked, not arrogantly or irritated, but plainly and honestly.
"Go ahead."
"I’m not saying that I like the idea of working side by side Tom so soon…especially around the Doctor," Torres said, getting to her feet and walking around, "but I know that it has to be done. And I plan on doing the best job I can, Captain."
Bobbing her head once, Janeway replied, "I know you will."
"And I know that Tom will as well. He might be a prick," she said, forcefully, " but he’s certainly not the type not help someone when they’re life depends on it."
"I agree."
"But, even though I hate to admit it…it’s possible that we could royally screw this up because we haven’t dealt with our personal problems like we should have done a long time ago." Turing back toward Janeway and walking over to her desk, leaning on the smooth, shiny surface with her hands, she said, "We’ve got to get it out…if it takes up all day, we’ve got to put this to bed once and for all….for Seven’s sake, we can’t let our feelings get in the way." Leaning in closer to make her point, she said, "Kathryn, no matter how much we don’t want to screw up, if we don’t clear the air, I’m scared we will. I want to approach Tom. Let me tell him. We need to fight it out…and then let it lie. It’s the only way."
Standing, her face close to Torres’, she said, her voice low and smoky, "Alright…go ahead, but consider yourself under orders to keep yourself reigned in. If you so much as lay a finger on him, I’ll throw you in the Brig so fast it will make your head spin. Are we clear on that, Lieutenant?"
It had been quite sometime since Janeway’s level ten look had been directed her way, so she had forgotten the pure, deadly force behind it, she said, backing away, automatically becoming submissive, swallowing, "Yes, Ma'am."
Holding her intense gaze a moment longer, she said, "Very well…inform me when it’s over, and I’ll tell the Doctor he can proceed. Dismissed."
Turning away, Torres said, "Thank you."
Sitting down, Janeway responded, softly, "You’re welcome…don’t make me regret this."
Looking back as the door opened, the engineer promised, "I won’t…on my honor."
"Lieutenant," Janeway said, standing and smiling kindly as the tall, athletic woman entered her office, "Have a seat," the captain said, motioning toward one of the chairs in front of her desk. Moving toward her replicator, she asked, "Can I get you something?"
Feeling like she had suddenly been flung into the chapters of some sadistic, convoluted story, Fowler requested, taking a seat, "Thank you, Captain…coffee."
Smiling wryly over her shoulder, she chuckled, more to herself, "I like you already, Nicole." Grabbing the mug from the blue energy grid, not retrieving one for herself since she already had a cup waiting of her desk, she made her way back toward the lieutenant and said, "Here you are."
"Thanks, Captain…and if you’re going to use my first name, I insist that you call me Nick…I always hated Nicole," Fowler informed, taking the cup evenly and not changing her face much.
Surprised and delighted by the woman’s forwardness, something she admired and demanded out of her senior officers…when it was appropriate, of course, she smiled again and said, "Alright…Nick…I planned on having this first meeting with the commander, but his absence couldn’t be helped. I assume he’s explained the situation?"
"Yes, Captain."
"Good," the captain said, leaning back. "Then, I won’t waste your time rehashing it. I’m curious…how do you feel about all of this? Feel free to speak frankly."
"How do I feel? Jesus, who starts a conversation like that?" The captain’s directness and the intensity of her level, blue-grey eyes unsettling her some, she shifted in her chair and finally answered, "Uh…well, honestly…I’m excited…and nervous as hell."
Turning up one corner of her mouth as she sipped her coffee, Janeway said, "Sounds about right." Staring her down for a few more seconds, sizing Fowler up, something the captain was fairly good at, she acknowledged, "The nerves will pass…I’m sure, and my staff and I will do everything in our power to acclimate you as quickly and as easily as possible." Smiling fondly, she continued, her voice softening some on its own, "They’re an honorable group of people, whom I admire and depend on both professionally and personally. And, as far as the being excited…I’m glad to hear it." Setting down her coffee and folding her arms one over the other on her desk, she said, "I’m not making you any promises, but I am advising you not to hold back just because this is a temporary posting. Show me what you’ve got…and let me make the decisions, alright?"
"Is she for real? Show me what you’ve got? This can’t possibly be happening…can it?" Responding immediately, even though her mind was still trying to figure out if she was dreaming or not, she said, "I will, Captain."
Nodding once, happily, the captain said, "Good." Then leaning back and crossing her arms over her chest, she said, "I’m curious, Nick…you’ve been in command for over ten years, but never requested a senior posting. I hope you don’t think I’m trying to pry into your life, but you will be piloting my ship for the next month or so…and I try to get to know the people I work closely with. Out here," Janeway said, motioning toward the window, "it kind of comes with the territory."
"This is your chance, Nick…don’t blow it. How long have you been waiting to say this…say it…say it now, dammit!" Making up her mind, Fowler set her coffee down a little harder than she planned and asked, crisply, "Permission to be blunt, Captain."
Nodding once, somewhat worried but far too intrigued to deny the rest, she said, "Go ahead."
Getting up from her chair and starting to walk around the room, she explained herself, "Don’t be alarmed, Captain…I just think better on my feet sometimes."
"I’ve been accused of the same thing myself," Janeway came back, promptly.
Glancing back at the captain for a second, having a hard time figuring out who this woman was the was masquerading as her captain… "Has she always been like this? She wasn’t like this when I first met her…she was all protocol, ‘and don’t call me Sir,’ Janeway. Maybe she’s changed too? Maybe this isn’t so bad after all?"… "Don’t get me wrong, Captain…I like command. It always came fairly naturally to me."
"I’d have to agree…at least from what I read of you service record," Janeway admitted. "You looked like you were well on your way…but then you just stopped pushing forward. Why?"
Crossing her long, strong arms over her tight, fairly flat chest, Fowler said, "My parents were killed in a commuter shuttle accident. I’m adopted, and they were practically all I ever knew of family." Turning toward Janeway, leaning against the hand rail, she said, looking at Janeway directly in the eye, not hiding her turmoil, especially for the captain’s sake, "I have a younger sister…more than ten years younger…she just turned twenty, two months ago. I had to stop my command track and take care of her. So, I took small, short postings where I could, here and there. That’s why I took a post on Voyager…it was only supposed to three week mission…if I remember correctly."
Forcing herself to hold the woman’s stare and absorb the impact and pain of this moment even thought the look in the tall, powerful woman’s green eyes was breaking her heart, Janeway didn’t speak, didn’t move, just continued to accept the responsibility for this woman’s clear anguish, taking it into her chest and letting it sit there…letting it remind her of the price her crew had paid for her decision to strand them here. The captain certainly didn’t enjoy torturing herself, but she knew that she couldn’t back away from this burden just as she couldn’t stand back and let the Kazon ravage the Ocampa seven years ago. It was part of the price she paid, and she accepted it willingly, even though a little regretfully.
Amazed that the captain hadn’t thrown her out of her office, looked away, or said something to redeem herself, Fowler went on, the ice of her breath giving away some to admiration for the redhead’s toughness, "So, you see, Captain Janeway, I wasn’t your biggest fan for a long, long time…and I’m sure I’m probably still not. I left my sister with my girlfriend…who wasn’t the most responsible woman in the galaxy, but at least she liked Jess."
"I understand," Janeway said clearly, not harsh or cold, but not compassionate either. It was a plain statement that left no doubt that she did indeed understand and she wasn’t just trying to make her officer feel better…or herself either, for that matter.
Seeing her captain through completely different eyes now, although not sure if she trusted what she was seeing, Fowler scratched the back of her neck, and said, sighing, "But I’ve gotten over that now…mostly, and it won’t affect my performance. I’m grateful for whatever opportunity I have to help get us home as soon as possible."
Standing and walking over to Fowler, extending her hand, she said, "I’m sure you will…and thank you for your candor."
Shaking the captain’s hand, surprised at how strong the grip was despite the fact that in all reality, Kathryn Janeway was a slight woman, even though her personality seemed larger than life, Fowler said, now pretty much awe-struck, "You’re welcome, Captain."
Somewhat distracted, Janeway lazily gliding into her quarters, barely looking up at the two beings currently within. Janeway immediately went over to her replicator to order a cup of coffee and a glass of water for Seven. Retrieving the mug first, bringing its piping hot contents to her lips taking a small sip, she grabbed the cold glass of iced water and turned to Chakotay and Seven who had stopped watching her and turned back toward their chess game. Setting the tumbler on her glass kitchen table, she said, walking toward her desk, "Having fun?"
Pulling her attention away from the board since she precisely knew where each piece was and what her next move would be, Seven said, talking to the captain’s back, seeing the stiffness in her shoulders, "Yes, Captain. However, I do not require liquid refreshment at this time."
Raising one finger above her head, not looking at Seven as she rounded her small desk and sat down, she said, "Drink it…Captain’s orders." Then touching her hand to the small sensor of her computer, she said, grinning slightly, "There’s no rush, Chakotay. I think Tuvok can handle the ship on his own for a while longer."
Frowning a bit, getting tired of drinking water, Seven took the glass and brought it to her lips, glancing at Chakotay who seemed to be enjoying himself more now that their compact commanding officer had arrived, and stated, "It is irrelevant. This match will soon be over."
"Quit stalling, Seven," Chakotay came back, obviously stressed over this game. "It’s still your move."
While continuing to drink her water, Seven moved her bishop, putting it in a direct path with the tall commander’s king and said, "Check."
Sighing, knowing from previous games he was definitely out matched, he said, pushing away from the table, "I give, Seven…well played."
"Thank you, Commander. I find your skill level acceptable. If you wish to play again, I would not object," Seven said, continuing to drink the water, which was almost gone.
"Next time I want to get my ego smashed…I’ll let you know, " he chuckled, walking over to Kathryn who looked to be reading some sort of report. Coming up next to her, he asked, his voice soft, "Have a minute?"
Looking up and him, blinking her tired eyes once, she responded, "Certainly."
Turning his body and leaning against the edge of her desk, folding his arms over his chest, he asked, "I was wondering how your meeting went with Lieutenant Fowler?"
"Fine," Janeway nodded, sipping her coffee. "It went fine. I think she’s the right choice."
When Janeway refused to elaborate, or mention anything that she liked about the tall brunette, Chakotay thought for a moment to ask her to be more specific, but then noticing the lines around her eyes and her mouth, he thought again, and asked, "Good. I think so too. Do you want me to get her started right away?"
Clearing her throat, Janeway said, looking over at Seven for a moment, then back up at him, "Yes. I’ve given her the rest of the day off to rest. I want her to start first thing tomorrow morning. So, hopefully," she continued, getting to her feet and rubbing her neck, "she’ll be used to the different hours by the time we leave orbit. Give her all the time you think is necessary in the holodeck simulations. Since the Doctor and company, will be using the other one, if you have to bump some folks out…you have my authorization."
"Alright…any thing else?"
Grabbing for her coffee again, she said, "Yes, give her some time to inspect the Delta Flyer this week, as well."
"Captain?" he queried, not really understanding what she meant.
Smiling crookedly, albeit the look wasn’t as endearing as it usually was considering her mood, Janeway explained, "She is a pilot, Chakotay. I’m sure she’d appreciate the time to get to know the crafts she’ll be piloting." When Chakotay acknowledged her with a crooked smile of his own, she said, "Keep me informed of her progress…and schedule a meeting for all three of us after Seven’s surgery."
"Aye, Captain," the Native-American bobbed his head once. Then glancing over at Seven who was watching them as she finished her water, he said, "Well, I guess I’ll get back to work…and try to forget that I just lost three games in a row." Scratching his check, he sighed, looking confused that those events had occurred, "I’m glad Professor Pultivnk isn’t here…he wouldn’t be please."
Patting Chakotay on the arm, Janeway said, "I highly doubt Doctor Pultivnk ever played against the Borg." Seeing him to the exit, she finished, "Thank you again for looking after Seven."
"No problem, Kathryn," he answered. Then looking over to Seven, he said, "It was a pleasure, as always, Seven…I hope you feel better."
"Thank you for your assistance, Commander. I will endeavor to do so."
Once the doors had closed behind her first officer, Janeway walked back over to her desk, set her coffee down and unzipped her tunic. Hanging the thin jacket over her chair and gathering up her mug again, she silently made her way to the table. Sitting in Chakotay’s spot, eyeing the board, Janeway asked, keeping the mug close her lips, "How are you feeling?"
Certain that the captain was not well since her mood had not changed with the commander’s departure, something that normally happened when they were alone together, Seven answered, "Better now that you are here, Kathryn."
Letting out a small sigh, turning up one corner of her mouth, the redhead said, "You’re sweet, Seven…did you have your nutritional supplement?"
"Yes," Seven answered as Janeway reached for her king and moved the piece out of harm’s way for the moment. Examining the board for a moment, then letting her brain process the possible moves while she continued to converse, she remarked, "You seem…distressed." A moment later she had made her decision and moved her queen diagonally, moving in for the kill.
"It’s nothing…just a little tired," Janeway said, trying to decide whether to continue to move her king out of trouble or make a counter attack, she changed the subject and inquired, "Did you rest at all?"
"I have yet attempted to regenerate, but I did not tax my body this afternoon. The commander and I simply sat and conversed about a variety of subjects and then began to utilize your chess board when we had exhausted all areas of conversation that the commander wished to discuss," answered the blonde.
"Well," Janeway said, deciding to go on the aggressive and moving her rook decisively, "that’s certainly more rest than you would have got if you were on duty, I guess. Check."
Raising her eyebrow, Seven said, "Impressive," as she began to formulate a new plan of attack.
"Thanks."
Placing her knight in the captain’s piece’s path, blocking her attack, Seven remained silent, observing the captain. Even though Seven felt that Kathryn was always a lovely woman to look at, she did admit that Janeway had seen betters days. The darkening areas underneath her eyes did not tell the tale as much as the captain’s mouth did. The definite downturn to her thin lips and the small, crescent shaped creases on either side told Seven that Kathryn had been feeling this way for several hours. Her slight shoulders were hunched, mimicking her mouth, and even though she was not certain, Seven thought that Janeway was clutching her coffee with greater pressure than she normally did.
Sensing an opportunity, Janeway moved her queen across the board horizontally and said, glancing up at her opponent, "Seven…I’m fine…please don’t worry yourself. It’s nothing." When Seven looked at her, silently questioning how she knew that Seven was pondering her condition, she smiled, "I can see you watching me."
Looking down at the board, quickly sizing up the playing field, Seven said, "I apologize. It is ‘habit.’" Then moving her other bishop, she said, "If you say that you are fine…then I will trust you."
"Thank you," Janeway said, now having to go back on the defensive and moving her knight near her king. "And what do you mean by habit?"
Smiling softly, Seven answered, removing her queen from the board, "It is habit for me to observe youn. You are multifaceted and in order for me to ascertain how to best approach you, I must observe your behavior." Placing the queen in her desired location, she said, "Checkmate."
"Damn," Janeway sighed, but not unkindly. Not wanting to get into a conversation with Seven regarding her never-ending curiosity, especially when it came to her, or how that made the captain feel, Janeway got up from the table, taking her coffee and Seven’s empty glass over to the replicator to recycle the remains back into the ship’s systems, and said, trying to brighten her mood, "You know what?"
Remembering this phrase was not a real question, but just a sort of preamble to a statement, Seven answered appropriately, "What?"
"I think," she said now at her desk, pressing a few sensors on her computer, "that I am going to take the rest of the evening off as well. I’m exhausted."
Pleased that Kathryn was not attempting to push her body to extremes as she often did, Seven said, smirking, "A wise choice." Now not knowing what they would do to pass the time, Seven asked, "Do you wish to play again? If so, I would be agreeable."
"Maybe later, " Janeway yawned, sitting down on her couch and kicking off her shoes. Then flopping back and putting her feet on the coffee table, she said, to Seven who was still sitting at the table. "I don’t think I’d give you much opposition right now."
"Very well," Seven nodded, standing. Looking around the room, not having anything else to study since she had already done so at other times or earlier in the day, Seven finally turned toward Janeway, placed her hands behind her back and asked, "May I sit with you?"
Opening her eyes, she smiled, patting the cushion next to her, "Of course. You don’t have to ask…this is your home too, for the time being."
Sitting on the cushion next to the captain but leaving a comfortable space between them, sitting up straight and folding her hands neatly in her lap, she explained, "I am not accustomed to having a ‘home,’or rather," she amended, when Janeway looked displeased for an instant, "I am not accustomed to having a private area in which to spend my time regenerating. I do not know what is acceptable behavior."
Yawning, stretching out even more, folding one arm behind her head, she said, "Home is where you do whatever you want, Seven…there are no rules…that’s what makes it your personal place. Do whatever you feel is comfortable." Then smiling, she said, "Just be yourself."
"I will comply," Seven nodded. Then looking around, still not finding anything more interesting than sitting next to the captain whose mood seemed to be slowly improving, Seven looked over at her, watching her closely once she knew the captain’s eyes were once again closed. After several minutes, Seven, imitating Janeway, slumped her shoulders and leaned back against the couch. Still watching Kathryn, she placed her hand behind her back and attempted to relax her body, which did not come naturally to the Borg. Lastly, she placed one foot on the coffee table, still wearing her heels since they were part of her biosuit and exhaled, forcing her body to remain lax.
Hearing Seven’s foot hit the coffee table, Janeway opened her eyes to see Seven lying, unceremoniously, in the exact same position she was in, and the captain couldn’t help but be completely endeared and flattered. Reaching over and placing her hand on Seven’s thigh, patting it lightly, she asked, "Doesn’t that feel better?"
Turning only her head, Seven answered, "It is inefficient…but not unpleasant. I believe I see the appeal…although, it will take me some time to adapt to this position. It feels…unnatural."
"Just wait until your implant is removed…it will feel far better once you don’t have all that metal wrapped around her waist," Janeway said, squeezing Seven’s thigh.
"You are probably correct…I had not thought about how my abdominal implant restricts my movement," Seven said, looking down at the captain’s long, graceful fingers that were resting comfortably on her leg. Placing her hand on Kathryn’s she said, "I believe that would be what B’Elanna Torres refers to as a ‘plus.’"
Hesitant at first as Seven’s hand covered her own, but not wanting to offend her friend, Janeway finally turned her palm over, wrapped her fingers between Seven’s and said, "Yes it is…a definite plus." Settling into the feeling of holding Seven’s hand as she lounged together and not able to stop herself from enjoying the closeness that she felt, Janeway finally turned her head away from Seven when she did not attempt to continue the conversation and closed her tired eyes.
Many minutes were spent in exactly this same position. Neither of them were sleeping and neither of them were much interested in speaking either, and they continued to hold hands. Their fingers were relaxed, now barely holding on to each other, and it seemed that both of them were aware that at any moment the contact could be broken, but neither of them wanted to be the first one to separate their connection. When Janeway started rubbing her thumb lightly over Seven’s flesh, not tracing any sort of natural indentation in the Borg’s hand, or making a point to avoid the potentially damaging mesh that encased her left hand, the normally cool and detached Borg, although, she would be the first to admit that she had been acting out of the ordinary in the recent weeks, looked over at Janeway and smiled. It was small, almost barely noticeable since she showed no teeth, but it was there, nevertheless. The smile was brought on more by the peaceful upturn of the captain’s lips more than the soft movements of her thumb. Curious, Seven asked carefully, not wanting to draw attention to the captain’s behavior, but to merely make mention of the warmth she felt in her chest, "I find this most pleasing. I have never ‘relaxed’ before."
Apparently, Janeway wasn’t totally conscious of what she was doing, because even when Seven broke the comfortable silence, Janeway didn’t cease her fondling. Merely nodding her head at first, she finally said, not turning toward Seven or opening her eyes, her voice rough and sexy, although not purposefully…it simply couldn’t be helped, "It is nice when it happens…far too infrequent for women like us, I’m afraid."
Nodding, then realizing Janeway couldn’t hear her silent affirmation, she said, trying hard to make her voice smooth and calm, considering the atmosphere, "Agreed. However, I believe that we should endeavor to ‘relax’ in this manner more often. It has a calming sensation that I have never experience before. I do not wish to halt this moment, but I feel the need to explain myself verbally, even though silence seems appropriate."
Chuckling once, Janeway smiled, still keeping her eyes closed, supremely happy that Seven understood something so simple, but so hard to grasp sometimes and explained, "It’s the surest sign of true friends, Seven." Then turning her head to Seven, and finally opening her eyes, she continued, "Remaining comfortable in silence, I mean…but don’t feel like you can’t talk if you want to express yourself…that doesn’t count."
Slightly displeased that Kathryn had ceased rubbing her hand, but not letting that deter from the moment since she was still holding her hand, Seven said, turning her head all the way toward Janeway, her left check resting on the back of the high-back sofa, "You are referring to irrelevant, idle conversation, or ‘small talk.’ I am aware of the difference. I find ‘small-talk’ confusing." Then leaving that statement behind, she said, "Would it make you uncomfortable if I explained what I am experiencing right now?"
Squeezing Seven’s hand automatically, Janeway said, her brow furrowing slightly, "No, Seven…never…why do you think I would be uncomfortable?"
Smirking, looking at Janeway like she was being overly simplistic, Seven said, "Kathryn, as you are aware, not everyone is comfortable with my…method…of explaining my emotions or observations."
Smiling some, Kathryn said, "Okay…I admit that…but I’m not everyone." When Seven agreed with her, she encouraged, "I always want to know what you are thinking or feeling…and I want to hear you say it how you want and need to say it, alright? So no more ‘Kathryn are you comfortable’ questions…you’re home, remember. Be you."
"You are correct…my memory must be inhibited by all of this ‘relaxation,’" Seven smirked. When that elicited a wry smile from Janeway, Seven said, "Please resume your previous position, so that I may explain the sensations as they were prior to the interruption." When Kathryn went along with her, although her smile much more prominent now, Seven explained, "As you know, I am sometimes uncomfortable with silence. It has been the most difficult aspect of my return to Humanity. Many times, even recently, I find myself increasing the volume of the sensors in Astrometrics to compensate for the silence. However, in this room, where the only sounds I hear are the sounds of our respiration, I am not uncomfortable. I am in a position that is inefficient. It restricts my blood flow and the capability of my lungs from taking in oxygen, causing me to compensate by not inhaling as deeply, but I still remain comfortable, nevertheless." Looking down at their entwined hands again, she said, "Even though you have made me feel welcome in this cabin, the analytical part of my mind is aware that this room is yours and that I am merely your guest. Furthermore, I am experiencing severe malfunctions. I am aware at this moment that my body is rejecting a part of me that I have utilized for most of my existence. Malfunctions are unacceptable to the Borg, and even though I am no longer fully Borg, I still do not like them." Concluding, she sighed and stated, "I have never been able to relax in situations were all of these things occurred singularly or simultaneously, however, I am relaxed. If I were not aware of the reason, I would be troubled by this event, undoubtedly."
"What’s the reason?" asked Janeway lazily but very much paying attention to Seven.
"The reason is twofold," Seven responded. "Even though when you returned from your duties you were troubled, you have attempted to ‘relax.’ I may not know what was troubling you, but I am aware that as the captain of this vessel your responsibility is significant. When I see you do this despite your distress, I feel as though I should attempt to do the same. Knowing that you have succeeded, helps me to succeed."
Rubbing Seven’s hand again, although knowing it this time, she asked, "And what’s the other reason?"
Smiling softly now that Janeway resumed her stroking, Seven said, "I know that I am accepted by you. There has not been any doubt about that for quite some time now, but still you continue to reaffirm that often, each time finding a different way in which to express that. You have demonstrated that today on many occasions, however I am speaking specifically of how you continue to hold my hand."
Smiling and turning back to Seven, Janeway said, shaking their hands slightly, "There’s not much that gets past you, is there?"
"The Borg assimilate knowledge, Kathryn…it is ‘habit.’ Since I do not wish to assimilate you to better understand you, I must make observations," Seven explained.
Yawning, not able to stop it, Janeway said, "Well, I’m glad you don’t want to assimilate me…I think I’d look awful bald." Finally letting Seven’s had go, giving it a pinch, she said, "I’m just going to lay back and rest my eyes for a bit…keep talking if you want…it doesn’t bother me."
"I am finished," Seven responded. "Do you wish for me to move so you may utilize the length of this piece of furniture?"
"No…don’t go…it’s nice to have company. I don’t get many houseguests," Janeway said, leaning into the corner of the sofa, yawning again. "If you get tired and want to sleep…feel free to use my bed."
Looking at the captain and deeming that her position was not acceptable since it did not look comfortable at all, Seven pondered the situation for several minutes as she observed Kathryn ‘resting her eyes,’ then finally reaching over, she said, clasping onto Kathryn and pulling her into the crook of her arm, "I believe it is time for me to reaffirm that I accept you. I have witnessed Samantha Wildman and Naomi utilize this position while Naomi rests. I am I doing it correctly?"
Startled by the somewhat abrupt movement, but finding not only Seven’s words but the comfort of her body so much more inviting than the corner of her sofa, she laughed, "Like I said…you never miss a beat." Resting her head against the soft swell of Seven’s bosom, Janeway sighed and said, "and thank you for accepting me."
"You are welcome. Rest now…I will not attempt to leave or disobey the Doctor’s instructions while you sleep."
"I’m not sleeping," she yawned, "just resting my eyes…"
Captain Kathryn Janeway’s blue-grey eyes fluttered open, foggy. Seeing the sharply ribbed abdomen of her Astrometrics officer directly in front on her vision, realizing that her head was resting in Seven’s lap, the captain immediately tensed at that knowledge and at her obvious disorientation. Feeling sleepy and hazy, knowing that she had clearly been a sleep for at least an hour since she usually felt completely rejuvenated after one of her quick, power naps, Janeway held her breath when Seven’s arm that was draped across her waist twitched slightly and began to urge the captain closer to Seven’s body. Lifting her head slowly, having a hard time seeing over the Borg’s amble chest, Janeway relaxed some and couldn’t help but smile as she caught the view of Seven’s defiant chin jutting out as she head rested far back against the top of her sofa.
Seven was sleeping.
Carefully, Janeway ducked her head and eased out from underneath the tall blondes’ long arm. Sitting up, facing her crewmember, Janeway pushed off from the couch just as Seven started to stir. Knowing that Seven still needed more rest, Janeway quickly placed her hands on Seven’s shoulders and guided her to lay down across the plush cushions.
"Kathryn?" Seven mumbled drunk with exhaustion.
"Shhh…go back to sleep," Janeway whispered, placing her hand on Seven’s forehead. When the upper half of Seven of Nine’s lengthy body was resting on the sofa, Janeway picked up her legs, amazed at how heavy they were and urged them to lay horizontally as well. Thankfully for the captain, Seven’s body took over automatically and assisted her toward the end.
"You will not leave?" Seven asked, curling up, talking slowly and keeping her eyes closed, half of her face pressed into the soft surface on which she was reclining.
Grabbing her afghan and unrolling it over Seven’s body, Janeway said, "I’ll be right here the whole time…go back to sleep."
"Mmm…Kathryn?"
"Yes, Seven," Janeway sighed, feeling very much like a mother with this woman…again. When Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix 01 first was severed from the Hive mind, Janeway welcomed the maternal instincts that arose in her where the cool, perfection driven blonde was concerned, but now, now that they had grown closer and their relationship began to change into something more, even though Janeway wasn’t certain what that was yet, feeling like Seven’s mother didn’t sit well with her, even when she continued to take care of her and guide her as a parent would guide his or her child. Just because it made Kathryn uncomfortable to have such strong feelings for this woman-child even when her maternal side took over, she knew she couldn’t stop being Seven’s mentor simply because she had a problem. It was her problem, and she wasn’t about to make Seven pay the price for emotions she couldn’t seem to control no matter how much she tried. As Seven of Nine would say, that would be ‘unacceptable.’
"Do you enjoy the song, ‘You are my Sunshine?’"
"Yes…now I want you to go back to sleep…Captain’s orders," Janeway schooled softly and very sweetly.
"I will comply…" the Borg trailed off as the omnipotent wave of sleep washed over her again.
Pulling the blanket up high on Seven’s shoulders, her hand lingering on her back as Janeway slowly got to her feet and pulled away, the captain sighed heavily, her eyes and mind swirling with turmoil and bliss at the same time. She smoothed back her hair, tucking the right side behind her ear as she went over to her desk to check her messages. Before she had left her Ready Room, she had sent a memo to the crew informing them that she would be working from her quarters for the rest of the week and that they should contact and report to her via memos and personal communiqués, unless it was an emergency. Sliding into the firm but accommodating surface of her black leather desk chair and accessing her personal workstation with a single touch to the sensor pad, she wasn’t surprised to find five messages waiting for her. Checking the time, realizing that she had been asleep for almost a full hour, she accessed Lieutenant Carey’s first Engineering report. It was short and to the point, for which she was grateful. The other two struts had checked out, and they had begun repairs on rebuilding the thrusters, leaving the damaged landing struts for last since the ship couldn’t utilize them without the thrusters. The repair time estimates had gotten any worse, but they hadn’t gotten any better either. She acknowledged the message with a quick, ‘keep me informed,’ and moved on to Doctor’s message which simply stated that he would be by tomorrow morning at 0730 hours to make a house call. She didn’t bother sending a reply back to that one since there was no need. He was the chief medical officer, which meant that he didn’t need the captain’s approval…even if it was her quarters he would be entering at such an early hour.
The third message was from Commander Chakotay in which he said that he was taking over any non-crucial reports to give her more time to tend to Seven’s needs and that he would update her himself every night before he retired. Furthermore, he said that if any time during the week she needed a few moments alone, all she needed to do was ask and we would be happy to fill in for her. Smiling at the never-ending sensitivity for her needs from her first officer, Janeway sent back a short but sweet reply thanking him. The final two messages were from Lieutenant Torres. From the time stamp they had been sent one right after the other. Accessing the first one, she held her breath as she opened and read it:
|
Thank you.--Torres Ps: I'm taking the rest of the evening off, as you requested. |
Before she responded, Janeway accessed the second message sent only a minute later, curious and hoping that things hadn’t suddenly changed in the few seconds between communiqués. It read:
|
Hope Seven is well. Tell her I said ‘Hey’ and that if she doesn’t take it easy I’m gonna kick her butt once she can put up a real fight. Oh, and remind her to check her messages too. I miss your
voice, Red... but I didn’t want to bother you. This memo business stinks...
but don’t tell the |
Resting her face in her hand, smiling fondly, Janeway snatched up the communicator on her jacket and went into her bedroom. Sitting on her bed, speaking softly she pressed her thumb to the device as it sat in her hand and said, "Janeway to Torres."
"Lieutenant Torres does not wish to be disturbed. Do you want to override?" asked the ship’s computer as standard procedure when a crewmember placed a privacy seal on their communicator when they were engaged in a personal activity and didn’t wish to be interrupted unless it was an emergency. Because Torres was a senior officer, simply stating yes would not override the privacy seal. That required a command code authorization, something only senior staff members possessed. Janeway, of course, could override any ship’s function with her authorization, but that didn’t always mean she should.
Deciding against that, knowing that B’Elanna probably needed her privacy after her ‘conversation’ with Tom Paris, Janeway said, quickly, "No," and ended the transmission. Pining the device on her shirt, Janeway went back into the living area and retrieved a cup of coffee, taking a moment to gaze upon her sleeping friend, before she sat back at her desk. Deciding the start with the Doctor first, the captain wrote:
|
--Capt. K. Janeway |
Moving on to Torres’ messages, responding to the business one first, needing more time to think about the personal one, she wrote:
|
Lieutenant--I've informed the Doctor that you two will be available to
assist him whenever he is ready I'm proud of you.–Capt. K. Janeway. |
After sipping on her coffee for a few minutes, rereading Torres’ personal message, she finally wrote with little trepidation, speaking from her heart:
|
Lanna—As soon
as 7 wakes, I'll give her your message. I know you'll be busy this week, but
don't be a Ps: You never bother me, except the way I love to be bothered. I miss your face. |
After rereading and sending her final message, Janeway couldn’t help but feel wistful. Maybe it was the difference in communicating? Rarely did the captain find herself in a position not able to speak one on one with someone to express herself professionally or personally, but whenever she did have the rare opportunity to type her thoughts and feelings rather than speak them or at least record them to be sent in an audio transmission, the sensation sparked strange and somewhat romantic feelings in the captain. She wasn’t certain why that was, but she couldn’t deny that receiving and sending personal, written message had a simple but warming appeal. The feeling still lingering in her mind and on the small regretful smile that graced her lips as she sat back looking out at her cabin but not focusing on anything in particular. Feeling the need to record her thoughts in her personal log, something she didn’t do nearly as often as she knew she should, she brought up the program and selected the manual input interface. It certainly wasn’t as efficient as simply recording her voice as she talked, but not only did she not want to wake Seven, she didn’t want her to hear what she needed to say…and, the captain just felt the need to be fanciful…something she had trouble doing when she could hear the words falling off her tongue. So schooled and trained to choose her words carefully, it wasn’t as easy to speak from her heart as it was to write form it.
|
7 of 9 sleeps
on my couch, in my quarters, in my heart. I cannot start loving her and I
can't stop either. In And I'm damned to this hell. It's not that
there is something missing, but just more that I feel. There's more that I
can't let go, and I Lanna doesn't
sleep in my heart. She beats on it like a warrior's drum. My heart pounds,
my hands tremble, In my heart
she dances: fast, chaotic, erotic... burning. She'll stop by soon enough, I
know, and send my nerves humming. And she'll look at me the way she does,
when she can manage it, and I'll see passion in I love 7 of
9, I know this for certain now. It's a truth I feel like I've always known,
but just wasn't strong And I'm damned to this hell. Why can't I desire 7 or why can't I love Lanna? And why does this matter when it is all so futile anyway? Neither can be mine. I'm not sure how to go forward; it's getting so difficult to hide all of this. I feel like a wretch, who should be damned. Yet, I smile, nonetheless. Through it all, they make me smile... |
fin