"In Dreams"

© 1/12/2000

 

Seven of Nine wiped the tears from her eyes and walked into the ensuite. She knew she shouldn't be using the captain's personal shower, but since Janeway was off with her new holographic boyfriend, and Seven had no shower of her own, she decided it couldn't hurt. Besides, the two-year secret affair she had been involved in with the captain had to count for something. Sadly for her, all it seemed to count for now was that she could sleep in the captain's bed when Janeway was off in Fairhaven.

Seven tossed her robe into the recycler and entered the shower area. She paused, confused when she saw steam rising from the closed stall. Someone was already in the shower. The exdrone flexed her hand and then grabbed the doorway leaving a nasty dent in the wall. It was bad enough that she had lost her lover to a hologram, now some member of the crew was usurping "her" occasional use of Kathryn's shower.

She yanked the shower door open, almost tearing the metal from the bulkhead. As she was about to yank the intruder from the cascading water, Seven froze, her eyes locked on the naked body in front of her. Kathryn spun and smiled at the Borg, water running in tiny eddies down her small breasts.

"Seven, darling. Did I wake you?" Kathryn asked even as she pulled the startled blond under the water with her.

"Kathryn?" Seven stuttered, tears forming in her eyes.

"Yes, love. Who were you expecting?" Kathryn joked. "Hey? What is it, love?" Kathryn asked when she noticed her young lover's distress.

"You, you are here," Seven said quietly, barely loud enough to be heard over the pounding water.

"Of course I am. Darling, you're scaring me. Are you all right?" Janeway eased Seven out of the shower stall. "Seven? Are you hearing the voices of those Borg personalities? Should I call the Doctor?"

Kathryn moved Seven away from the shower and quickly wrapped her in a fluffy towel that had been on the counter. She didn’t bother to cover herself, her concern for her lover too intense to worry about the puddle of water gathering at her own feet.

"No," Seven said. She took a deep breath and then looked back out towards the bedroom. Her shoulders began to shake and she grabbed Kathryn in a hug that was more like a strangle hold.

Kathryn followed her line of sight and then closed her eyes and squeezed Seven. "Darling, did you have another nightmare?"

Seven could only nod as she gulped in a breath, then hiccuped and she let her tears fall.

"Shh," Kathryn said as she gently stroked Seven’s dripping hair. "Was it the Borg Queen again?"

"Nuh uh," Seven mumbled. "Worse. Oh, Kathryn…it was horrible." The young exdrone began crying uncontrollably.

"Shh, I’m here, love."

"Don’t go," Seven begged between sobs.

"You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried, darling. You’re stuck with me." Kathryn eased Seven away and looked into her eyes. The ice blue eyes were bloodshot and swollen, but she was still beautiful.

"You will not go to Fairhaven?" Seven asked softly, her lip trembling.

"Oh, darling," Kathryn said with a laugh as she pulled Seven to her. "Is that what this is about? I know you overheard the Doctor suggesting that I date a hologram, but I would never do that. No hologram…no matter how perfect I could program it, could ever hold a candle to you." She held Seven tightly, rubbing her back through the towel, comforting her as best she could. Finally, when Seven seemed more composed, Kathryn led her toward the bedroom.

"It was so real," Seven said as she let Kathryn take the towel off and guide her under the covers of the bed.

"I know," Kathryn said, placing a tender kiss on Seven’s forehead. "That’s what makes nightmares so horrible. I’m sorry you’ve had to put up with them since we…"

"No," Seven said, sitting up. "I do not regret the nights I spend with you. I would endure any nightmare to be with you." She reached out and took Kathryn’s hand and tugged her down beside her.

"I know, but since you’ve been sleeping here every night, you’re having them more often." Kathryn slid under the covers, the sheets sticking to her back wherever the water from the shower still remained. She shifted her weight and moved into Seven’s arms.

"Kathryn, that is because I am sleeping more. I did not ever dream or…what is the term for having a nightmare?" Seven asked, relaxing as she felt the comforting weight of Kathryn’s head on her chest and the warmth of her thigh tossed over Seven’s belly.

"What?" Kathryn asked with a laugh, glad her beloved sounded more like her inquisitive self.

"When a person experiences a dream… the verb form is that they ‘dream’. But when they experience a nightmare…they do not ‘nightmare.’ What is the correct term?" Seven rolled her shoulder and settled Kathryn’s weight into place.

"Um… I don’t think there is a verb for nightmare." Kathryn kissed Seven’s chest and sighed. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes," Seven said, but Kathryn could still feel the tension in her lover’s body. Seven had an athletic, supple body, a body Kathryn knew well. She knew the way her muscles tensed when she was angry, or scared, and she knew how differently those muscles tensed when she was nearing climax, or feeling sexually frustrated when they couldn’t be together. The tension Kathryn felt beneath her now was definitely fear.

"Seven?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes?" Seven answered distractedly.

"What happen in the nightmare that upset you so much?" she punctuated her question by making slow circles on Seven’s chest with her hand, feeling the hammering heartbeat that betrayed Seven’s calm exterior.

"When the Doctor approached you today, he brought up the idea of you taking a holographic lover," Seven began.

"Yes, he did. I can’t really blame him, darling. He really has no clue about us." Kathryn paused long enough to kiss the soft skin beneath her cheek.

"In my dream… you told him… you had fallen in love with a hologram. That you could change anything about it that did not suit you. You agreed that you could not date any member of the crew." Seven took a deep breath and then released it, her entire body shaking.

"Do you think I could love a hologram," Kathryn asked softly, but without confrontation. She wanted Seven to speak freely so she could release the pain the nightmare had so obviously caused.

For several minutes Seven said nothing and Kathryn waited patiently knowing her young lover would speak when she found the right words.

"It would be easier," Seven finally said. "A hologram would never challenge you, never lose its temper when you put yourself in danger. A hologram would not be stubborn, or willful, and … if there was anything about its personality matrix you did not like, you could simply reprogram it."

Kathryn ran her fingers idly through her lover’s damp blond hair. Even wet, her hair was like spun silk. "Seven, all of those things are true, but I couldn’t love anyone who would bend to my will, whether by programming or by the strength of my personality. Do you know what made me fall in love with you?"

"No. What?" Seven eased Kathryn up so that she could look into her eyes.

"You challenge me. You lose your temper with me. You are stubborn, willful, and I can’t change the way you think." Kathryn leaned down and kissed the tip of Seven’s nose. "You are my equal," Kathryn said. She smiled when she saw Seven’s eyebrow snap toward her hairline. "You are my equal, except in rank. I am Captain, but outside of that, you are just as stubborn and willful as I am."

Seven smiled, pleased at the answer, then frowned. "Kathryn, if you did take a holographic lover, the crew would have no objections. You could openly spend time with… it."

Kathryn sighed and rested her head on Seven’s chest. She stayed there for several breaths and then lifted her head. "The Doctor told me yesterday that I couldn’t date any member of my crew because they are all my subordinates. Well, that’s not exactly true. You are not in Starfleet, and I think it’s about time the crew found out that I love you with my very soul. If any of them have a problem with that, I’ll toss them out an airlock."

"Kathryn. You are not serious," Seven said. She looked into her lover’s flashing eyes and realized two things; Kathryn was serious about telling the crew about their relationship, and she was not serious about the airlock. Part of Seven wished she had been serious about both. Undoubted Chakotay would have a very large problem with the relationship, and the thought of him being ejected from an airlock was not entirely unpleasant.

"What are you smiling about," Kathryn asked.

"Nothing," Seven said and then cleared her throat. "Are you sure you want to… announce the nature of our relationship?"

"Well, I’m not gonna’ make a ship wide announcement if that’s what you mean. I will however talk to the members of the senior staff, one at a time, and then you and I will stop sneaking around in shadows." Kathryn caressed Seven’s cheek and smiled warmly. "It’s time, darling. Past time. For two years I’ve kept my love for you a secret. I can’t do that anymore."

Seven tilted her face and kissed Kathryn’s palm. "I do not expect you to do this. I would not do anything to threaten your position."

"You think they’ll mutiny?" Kathryn asked with a wry grin.

"They can try," Seven said with her own smile. "But I will…convince them… how dangerous that would be."

"It will be fine. With the exception of Chakotay and the Doctor, I don’t think anyone will mind."

Seven’s eyes hardened. "Chakotay’s objections will have more to do with his personal feelings than protocol."

Kathryn leaned down and kissed Seven, then eased back and looked her in the eyes. "And so will the Doctor’s."

"Perhaps we could alter the Doctor’s holomatrix. Make him more stubborn, and female, with red hair. I believe that would solve both problems. Chakotay would have his own stubborn redhead."

"I like the way you think, darling." Kathryn snuggled back down onto Seven’s chest. "Do you mind the crew finding out?"

"No, but…" Seven’s voice trailed off.

"But?" Kathryn sat up and looked at her lover’s face.

"Well, now that they will know… they may believe I am… easy." Seven bit her lip as if considering the possibilities. "Perhaps you should… make an honest woman of me?"

Kathryn laughed and pressed her forehead to Seven’s. "Where did you hear that term?"

"I heard B’Elanna Torres use that expression when talking to Tom Paris." Seven’s eyes crossed as she tried to focus on Kathryn, but with their brows touching she couldn’t focus.

"Was that during your little sexual safari? While taking your little dating field notes?" Kathryn shifted her weight and kissed Seven’s neck.

"Yes. You did not respond to my suggestion," Seven pointed out.

"You know, I almost killed the Doctor for insisting that you date that crewman." Kathryn’s kisses became tiny, tender bites.

"He has a name, Kathryn," Seven said as she arched her back.

"Yes, and we agreed we wouldn’t mention his name," Kathryn said possessively.

"I only dated him to learn more about romance so I could surprise you," Seven said. She turned her head and intercepted Kathryn’s lips and gave her gentle kiss.

"I think you did it to make me jealous," Kathryn joked.

"Did it work?" Seven asked coyly.

"You know it did," Kathryn growled. "He’s just lucky you tore his shoulder, otherwise I would have broken more than his arm."

"I only intended to have one date." Seven caressed Kathryn’s back, her fingers ending up on her lover’s shoulders. She massaged them. "You are the one I love."

"I know, but just remember, not only am I stubborn, I am very possessive of what’s mine." Kathryn moaned and twisted her head as Seven continued to relax her muscles.

"I am yours. Forever," Seven said and guided Kathryn’s face down to her and she kissed her, showing her exactly how true that was.

"Good, because I am yours." Kathryn deepened the kisses and then rolled to one side so she could run her hand over Seven’s stomach. She loved the way Seven’s skin would tremble when she ran her fingers over the Borg banding on her waist. "Seven?" She asked after a few moments of bliss.

"Yes?" Seven responded, her hand gripping Kathryn’s and guiding it lower on her stomach.

"Do you want me to ‘make an honest woman of you?’" Kathryn’s fingers traced tiny patterns on Seven’s skin.

"Perhaps someday, but not because of anyone’s opinion. I want to be your wife, but I do not feel there is any rush. I know we will always be together," Seven said with conviction. She again tried to guide Kathryn’s hand lower.

Kathryn leaned over and kissed Seven, their lips lingering even as they paused to take quick breaths. "I want to marry you. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. I just can’t while we’re still stranded here."

"I know," Seven breathed into Kathryn’s lips.

Kathryn’s tongue brushed over Seven’s lips before dipping into her mouth. They melted into each other and forgot about nightmares. Kathryn pulled back, bringing Seven’s lower lip with her as she tugged it playfully with her teeth. "I want to have children with you, my darling. And I want to be your wife when we do."

"What?" Seven said, her body stiffening. Her eyes opened and she stared at Kathryn.

"Don’t you want children?" Kathryn asked, suddenly regretting the emotional confession.

"Yes," Seven said her eyes filling with tears as she nodded her head frantically. "I simply assumed you…we… could not because of your position."

"When we get back to the Alpha Quadrant, I want to spend some time with real, honest to goodness soil under my feet, dirt…terra firma… on Earth. And there’s nothing I’d love more than to walk hand in hand with you along the Indiana plains watching our daughter run through the ripening corn."

Seven smiled brightly and laughed as Kathryn wiped the tears from her cheeks. "But what if we do not find a way to return soon?" Seven asked.

"Well, when we first got stuck here, we discussed the possibility of this becoming a generational ship. Granted, the crew might be a little intimidated about having children when they see how gorgeous our kids are, but that’s their problem."

"I love you, Kathryn Janeway." Seven pulled Kathryn down for a lingering kiss.

"And I love you, Seven of Nine. And I guarantee you no hologram could ever make me feel as giddy as you do." Kathryn wiped away the last of Seven’s tears, then kissed her cheeks tasting the remaining salt.

"Can you tell the Doctor about us? Tomorrow? I want him to quit trying to alleviate your…frustration," Seven said as she weaved her fingers into Kathryn’s auburn hair.

"Yes, Darling. I’ll tell him that task is already being well handled." Kathryn slid her leg across Seven’s hip and began pressing down with maddening gentleness. She knew Seven liked the feel her leg grinding into her pelvis, or rather just below her pelvis.

"And tell him if he complains, we will reprogram him," Seven said as she grabbed Kathryn’s knee and pressed it down as she arched up to increase the friction.

"Yes, ma’am," Kathryn whispered.

The End


Okay…That is how this episode should have ended.

As for the Dallas reference:

In the 1980’s there was television program called Dallas. One season they killed off one of the pivotal characters named Bobby. The entire season was a muttered mess. At the end of the season, Bobby’s wife, Pam, went into the shower and found Bobby alive and well. (That was the cliffhanger.)

The next season, they explained that…the entire season had been a nightmare. Pam had a nightmare that Bobby was killed and she dreamed the entire season. The show then went on as if that season…none of it…ever happened.

The End