Fire Side Thoughts
By K.M.S
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Sitting here, around our fire, late at night is something we have done often for
the last six years. I have realized that many things in my life have changed.
I am no longer a lone Borg Drone. Life has made me stronger, wiser to the
universe around me. I have seen things that know one should see and yet, I would
not change anything, for to do that would mean changing who I have become.
Looking across the fire, I see the one person who, know matter what, has been at
my side. Yes, there have been times when our worlds have been torn apart, those
we have loved have died, our dreams have turned to nightmares but through it all
one thing has always remained, our love and friendship.
Friendship survives because without that nothing in this life makes a difference,
to be there when another is in need to hold them. To just be by their side makes
this life worth all the pain. Our friendship is worth the fight.
Love came with that friendship. It did take a while, but little by little, I
found a way into a heart covered with stone. One where friendship and love had
been replaced, leaving only duty and command. Oh, you many laugh, it is true. I
was not the one that needed to be romanced.
I have heard over the years all the stories of Starfleet command, seen the
painful memories in her eyes when she hears the lost one’s names. I saw the pain
for a second in those haunted eyes, her fears that perhaps she could have done
better. Would we have returned home sooner if only…….?
She has never tried to make her self out to be more then what she is, a starship
Captain like know other. Never promised me things she could not deliver.
Even at the beginning when I became separated from the Borg, and first started
to travel with her, and her crew. I saw another side, a warm heart, and a caring
soul, hidden beneath years of training.
Looking through our conservatory windows to the world beyond it is truly hard to
remember the time spent lost and alone, with only our selves for protection. I
have to laugh, saved by an older and wiser Captain, one who knew our future, and
risked everything to change it.
I remember visiting her not long after our return, when all the red tape and
fan-fair was over, and we could all begin to restart our lives. When I stated
that my brief romance with Chakotay had ended I watched her face. There was a
glimmer of hope in her eyes just for a moment then it was gone.
We spent much of our time together. I visited her home, met her family and
little by little, our relationship grew.
Today we said goodbye to an old friend, Chakotay. All the old faces returned to
be together to share stories and remember the days aboard Voyager. Then we were
not only a crew working together, but also a family.
It has been hard for her, for some reason she still feels as if she stole me
away from him. She told me of the future we would have had, if we had remained
in the Delta Quadrant. Perhaps it would have been, but this future, the one we
have and continue to live, is the only life I wish. To have spent it loving her,
touching her, seems to me the only future for which we were destined, and one I
would not change for anything.
My lover and friend may appear older now, but de-spit the years know less as
beautiful to me. Hair that has turned to dusty silver, and a face that know
longer has a youthful glow may have faded. As I am sure my own has, but my
feelings remain as strong as the day I heard her say ‘ I love you’ when we
committed our lives together and joined our souls. Her smile still lights up my
days, and my dreams.
I have spent the better part of 27 years loving her, a love that continues to
grow with each passing day and into eternity.
The end.
K.M.S
I hope you enjoyed.