May all your wishes come true.

Kathryn stood at the edge of the room. Everyone was having a great time, except her. She watched as the Doctor moved through a group of people, taking pictures with his holographic camera. The dance music was turned up a notch, and Kathryn turned her head to see Tom dragging a reluctant B'Elanna into the middle of the room to dance. Her gaze rested on the center of attention for the evening. Seven of Nine. She was standing close to Chakotay, his arm rested protectively around her waist, and she was laughing at something that he had said. It was Seven's birthday and Neelix had organized a party. Kathryn leaned against the wall, folding her arms beneath her breasts, and watched.

Neelix had, as usual, made a cake especially for the occasion, and Seven was being called upon to blow out the candles. "Come on Seven." Neelix said, as he placed the large cake on the table in front of her.

There were several candles on the cake and Seven looked at them with a bemused expression. She looked up briefly and saw the Captain staring at her from the other side of the room. "Come on Seven, blow out the candles." Chakotay whispered in her ear, and she turned to smile at him.

"You must make a wish." Naomi Wildman called, as Seven inhaled deeply.

"A wish?" Seven asked, looking down at the excited child.

"Yes a wish." Naomi said.

"I see, well let me think. I wish.."

"Not out loud! If you say it out loud it will not come true." Naomi scolded.

Seven grinned down at her, and looked back at the cake. "Make the wish as you blow out the candles." Naomi instructed.

Seven looked up at the Captain as she blew, and Kathryn thought she saw something in those piercing blue eyes. But then the look was gone again, and her view of Seven was obscured by the Doctor leaning in to take a photograph. "I hope you wished for something nice." Naomi said as Neelix handed a knife to Seven so that she could cut the cake.

"I did." Seven assured the small girl, and began to slice into the cake.

Kathryn pushed away from the wall and walked across the room. "What did you wish for?" Chakotay asked Seven, as he helped her to pass pieces of cake to the crew.

"Apparently, if I tell you it will not come true."

"But if you don't tell me, how can I make it come true?" Chakotay asked, kissing her ear gently.

Kathryn's stomach churned and she swallowed a bitter pill of disappointment. She knew that she had no right to be jealous, or disappointed that Seven had chosen Chakotay to be her romantic partner, but part of her died every time she saw them together. "Happy birthday Seven." She managed to say, despite the thoughts that were rattling around in her head.

Seven looked up and saw the Captain looking down at her. "Thank you Captain." She said, slightly inclining her head to one side.

Seven swore that she saw a flash of emotion cross the Captain's face, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. "I hope you have an enjoyable evening, now you will have to excuse me." Kathryn continued, struggling with her inner turmoil.

She managed a smile, which she hoped was a lot more cheerful than she felt. Seven returned her smile, as did Chakotay, and Kathryn's heart contracted. She nodded and turned on her heel. As she approached the door the Doctor appeared in front of her. "Smile." He said cheerfully, peering at her through the viewfinder of his camera.

Kathryn grimaced, and put her hand in front of her face. "Doctor please." She muttered, and pushed past him.

The EMH looked at his preview screen and saw that the Captain hadn't managed to cover the look of great distress that was on her face just as he had snapped her image. He turned to watch her leave the mess hall and wondered what had caused her so much upset. Part of him wanted to follow her and talk to her, but he knew that she wouldn't welcome the intrusion into her private life, so he turned back to the room.

"Doctor, come and take our pictures." Chakotay called to him.

Kathryn walked away from the party; she was fighting tears that were threatening to spill down her face, and she sniffed violently. She managed to get back to her quarters before her control broke. Kathryn slumped into the sofa that backed onto the window of her large sitting room. She pulled her jacket open and reached for a tissue from the box that was permanently within reach.

Seven was resting on Chakotay's arm, the party had been going on for over three hours and she was beginning to feel very tired. "I think I need to regenerate." She said to Chakotay and he looked down at her.

"Oh are you sure?" He asked clearly disappointed.

Seven nodded. "I feel very tired all of a sudden." She said, and yawned as if to emphasize the point.

"I will come down with you." Chakotay said, and they turned to the door.

Neelix danced into their path. "Hey hey where are you two off to, as if I need to ask." He said, grinning at them both as he boogied around.

"Seven needs to regenerate, and I should get some sleep, I am on duty in a few hours." Chakotay stated, protecting Seven from Neelix's lurid comments.

They left the room, the door closing on the noise. "What did he mean?" Seen asked, as they made their way towards the turbo lift.

"He, like a lot of the crew, assumes we are sleeping together." Chakotay explained.

"But I don't sleep."

Chakotay smiled. "It is a euphemism for lovemaking."

"Sex? He assumes we are having sex?" Seven said, not quite sure why she was so alarmed at the prospect.

Chakotay smiled at her. "Yes, we have been a couple for several weeks now, and well, people have assumed." He said, as they left the turbo lift again.

Seven let go of his arm in alarm. "Have you told people that we have had sex?" She asked.

"No, I wouldn't do that, even if it were true. Seven, I love you, I am not about to push you into something that you are not ready for, and I sense that you are not ready for us to make love yet." Chakotay said, stopping her and turning her to face him.

She didn't meet his eye. "No, I do not feel ready." She mumbled.

They went into Cargo Bay 2 where Seven's regeneration chamber was waiting for her. She moved across to the control console and tapped a few keys, and then she turned to face her companion. "I will see you in a few hours." She said, and turned to step onto the pad.

Chakotay stepped up to stand beside her. "Sleep well my love." He whispered, and gently kissed Seven's cheek.

She turned her head to look at him, and then smiled slightly. "You too." She said, and stepped into her alcove.

Chakotay stood watching her for several minutes before he turned and left the room. He had been courting Seven for several weeks, and she had been slowly relaxing with him. Although they had kissed, passionately, several times, when he had tried to take things further Seven had always resisted. He was taking it slowly, because he realized that he was her first romantic relationship, but he was wondering whether there was something else that was wrong. He walked away from Cargo Bay wondering whom he could talk to in confidence about his worries.

The door chime awake Kathryn from her slumber, and she sat up painfully. Her neck was sore from leaning on the arm of the sofa, and she felt disheveled. The door chimed again and she rubbed her neck, and then quickly ran her fingers through her hair. She looked at her clock and saw that it was nearly midnight. "Come in." She called, quickly fastening her jacket.

Chakotay strode into her room. "Captain." He stated, as the door swooshed closed behind him.

"Chakotay? What is wrong?" Kathryn asked, indicating to Chakotay that he should take a seat.

He sat down heavily then turned to face her. "I am worried about Seven." He said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

Kathryn sat back, she really didn't want to talk about Seven to Chakotay. So she said nothing. Chakotay didn't seem to notice. "I am worried that her feelings for me are not developing properly." He said, staring down at the floor and twisting his fingers together.

'I couldn't care less.' Kathryn thought, but still she didn't speak.

"I wondered if you could talk to her for me. You and she are still having humanity discussions aren't you?" He asked, finally turning his head to look at her.

Kathryn quickly rearranged her features into a non-committal expression. "Yes from time to time." She said, not elaborating.

"I am not sure, but I think she is scared of sex. She doesn't know what it is about, and she is scared of it." He said, turning away again.

Kathryn grimaced. She really didn't need to talk to Seven about having sex with Chakotay, she didn't really want to talk to Seven about Chakotay at all. "I wondered if you could talk to her, woman to woman, explain to her that it is natural and wonderful, and all that kind of thing." Chakotay finished.

Kathryn remained silent, her mind was whirling and she didn't know what to say to him. "Would you? For me? For Seven?" He asked, looking up at her again.

Kathryn wanted to say no, she wanted to tell him to leave and to never talk to her again about his relationship with Seven. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Then she nodded. "Yes ok I will talk to her. But I must ask you to leave now Chakotay, I have to get some sleep." She said, dismissing him quickly.

He left without further comment, and Kathryn sat back, resting her head on the back of the sofa, and she stared up at the ceiling. She had no idea how long she stayed that way, but the computer warning her that her shift was due to start in twenty minutes made her sit up and shake herself back to reality. "Come on." She said to herself, as she stood up and went into the bathroom to shower.

Chakotay was already on the bridge when she arrived. He looked much better rested than she did, and Kathryn knew that she probably looked like hell. "Are you ok?" Tuvok asked her as she passed his station.

"I am fine, I didn't get any sleep last night is all." She said quietly.

Tuvok looked concerned. "It is ok, this isn't the first time that I have worked a shift after being up all night,: She said, trying to reassure him that she was perfectly ok.

Tuvok clearly didn't believe her, and he watched her carefully as she made her way down to her chair. "Morning Captain." Chakotay said, not looking at her, as she sat down.

"Morning." She grunted as she sat down.

The door swooshed open and Harry Kim rushed in fastening his uniform jacket as he took his station. "Mr. Kim, you are 3 minutes late for your shift." Tuvok said quietly.

Harry smiled ruefully. "Sorry about that." He apologized, tapping the keypad of his computer console.

"Sorry isn't good enough, this is the fifth time you have been late this month." Tuvok continued.

Kathryn turned to face him, and then looked across at Harry. He looked as if he hadn't slept much recently, and she wondered what was keeping *him* awake. "Katherine keeping you up all night?" Tom teased from his position at the helm.

Kathryn started and sat up in her chair. Chakotay looked at her questioningly and she glared from Tom to Harry and then to Chakotay. Harry smiled apologetically. "Yes, we were playing velocity until the early hours." He said, and Tom turned back to the view screen.

Kathryn realized that Tom had meant Ensign Katherine Taylor, one of the ships crew, and she heaved a sigh of relief. She settled back in her chair again, wondering why she her senses were so fragile that morning. She turned to her console and stared at the screen. She didn't see anything in the numbers that flashed before her and she turned away again, unable to concentrate. She stared ahead of her, watching the huge view screen. The stars formed shapeless patterns in the inky darkness of the space that they traveled through. Warp speed making the closer ones distorted and angular in shape. Kathryn stared ahead of her, not listening to the continuous banter of the younger bridge officers that normally would have entertained her during her shift. She thought about Seven of Nine.

She wondered when it was that she had fallen in love with the younger woman, and she wondered how long it would be before the feelings of lonely desperation that came with that love, would die away and allow her to lead a more normal existence. Her love for Seven had made her realize how lonely she was. It had kept her awake at night, during which time she had thought about their predicament, of being stranded in the Delta Quadrant, and of the chain of events that had caused that to happen. Her every waking moment was taken up with thoughts of Seven of Nine, and it seemed that the svelte body of the younger woman occupied her dreams as well. Kathryn pulled herself up again and looked around. Everyone was fully occupied with their tasks, and she leaned back in her chair and turned her thoughts back to Seven. She began to fantasize, something she had been doing more and more in the last few weeks. They always ended up with the two women naked and making love. Kathryn had never made love to another woman in her life, but somehow she knew what she would do to cause intense pleasure for the younger woman. But the empty feeling of desperate loneliness was gnawing at her insides, and she knew that her daydreams were not enough, that she wanted more. She wanted so much more.

"Captain?" Chakotay asked, and Janeway looked at him.

She realized that he had been speaking to her and she hadn't heard a word he had said. "I am sorry." She said, sitting up again.

"I said, I am going to the mess hall for lunch, would you like to join me?" He asked, smiling at her gently.

Kathryn's stomach churned and she struggled to prevent a grimace crossing her face. "No, thank you Chakotay, but I think I will take lunch in my ready room." She said, and he nodded.

Janeway strode across the bridge with more confidence than she felt. Something inside her had died, and it was slowly rotting. The discomfort that she felt was almost painful, and she wished she knew how to stop it spreading. The doors swooshed closed behind her, and Kathryn slumped on the long sofa. She rested her elbows on her knees, and put her head in her hands. With no idea how long she had stayed like that Janeway allowed her mind to wander freely. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't pinpoint why she wanted to cry. She sat back and inhaled deeply, and mentally chastised herself for becoming so morose. The door chime brought her thoughts back to the present, and she stood up. "Enter." She called, and Neelix walked into the room.

He was carrying a tray with a plate of food covered by a large silver dome. "Commander Chakotay told me you wished to dine here today, so I have brought you some lunch." He said, grinning inanely.

Kathryn fought the rising tide of annoyance at Neelix's manner and nodded curtly. "Put it there, I will eat it later." She said, indicating her desk.

Neelix placed the tray on the desk and turned away again. Before he left the room he turned back to face her. His fingers were twisted together in a sign that Janeway recognized as one that indicated that he was about to ask her question and she swallowed her annoyance quickly and stood up. It wasn't his fault that she was in a bad mood, and she shouldn't take it out on him. "Captain, may I ask you a question?" He asked.

She nodded and turned her back to him. "I have noticed that you haven't been very happy recently, and as the ship's morale officer, I wondered if there was anything that I could do to help?" He offered.

Kathryn struggled with herself, a single tear slipped from beneath a tightly closed eyelid and slid down her cheek. She knew that she couldn't let him know that she was crying, and at the same time she knew that she couldn't respond to his question without revealing that she as crying. So she chose to stay silent. After several minutes of uncomfortable silence Neelix took a step forward. "Captain?" He prompted.

When she didn't reply he took his cue and backed out of the room. "Well you know were to find me if you want to talk." He said, and the doors swooshed closed behind him again.

Kathryn stood staring out of the window for a long time before she turned back to her desk. The silver dome of the plate cover reflected her image back at her. She looked a mess and she sighed heavily. She lifted the dome up to see what delicacy Neelix had provided for her delectation that day, and dropped it back with a clang when she saw the pile of blue Klingon noodles on the plate. Klingon noodles were the last thing that she felt like eating. She sat at her desk and turned on her computer. Her stomach growled, and she looked up at the silver domed tray again, and then decided to replicate something more edible.

She took the plate of noodles to the replicator and placed it on the pad. "Computer recycle." She said, and the plate disappeared.

Kathryn rested her forehead on the wall above the replicator and thought about what she would like to eat. Her mind wandered as she stood there, and she remembered Seven's birthday party of the night before. She closed her eyes as she remembered how Seven had looked up at her as she had blown out the candles on her cake. Then Chakotay's face came into her mind, and he was asking her to talk to Seven about love making. She shook her head to clear her thoughts, and sighed heavily. She felt as if she was going to cry again, and she wiped at her eyes aggressively, as if that would stop the flow of tears. "Coffee black." She said, and a mug of steaming coffee appeared.

She took it and walked back to her desk. Once again she attempted to read over the reports of the morning's activity, but her mind wandered off the subject again, and she put her coffee down in frustration. "I need a break." She said to herself and stood up.

Captain Janeway walked back onto the bridge and saw that Chakotay had returned from his lunch. He was smiling cheerfully and her stomach churned again. "Commander, I am not feeling well, I need to go to sickbay." She said, and left the room before anyone could question her further,

Tuvok watched her leave the bridge with an expression of concern on his face. He had been watching her closely recently and had noticed a significant change in her behavior and interaction with the crew. He looked back at his computer console and wondered whether he should talk to her about it or not. Janeway walked towards sickbay, but before she got there she changed her mind, and headed towards her quarters.

Seven walked towards the Captain's quarters. She and Chakotay had had breakfast together that morning, and he had told her that he wanted her to talk to the Captain about romance. She knew that Captain Janeway had been very helpful in helping her to uncover aspects of her humanity that she had never realized were there inside her, and she wondered whether the Captain would be able to help her overcome whatever the block was that was preventing her from progressing with her relationship with Chakotay.

She had tried simulating romantic assignations with the Ship's commander on the holodeck, to try to overcome her reluctance, but nothing that she had tried had worked. The Doctor hadn't been much more help. He had told her to relax, and let things develop naturally, but she could tell that Chakotay was becoming impatient, and that he wanted to do things to her that she didn't feel ready to let him do yet. She wondered whether the problem was her cortical implant, but the Doctor had assured her that was not the case. She stood outside the Captain's door and knocked politely.

There was no response, and she wondered whether the Captain was asleep. She knew that Janeway had been reported to be behaving strangely on the bridge that morning, and that she had informed Chakotay that she hadn't slept the night before, and Seven was reluctant to disturb the older woman if she was catching up on much needed rest. She knocked again just in case and was rewarded with the command to enter. The door swooshed open revealing the Captain's quarters.

The lights were out, and the room was in almost total darkness. The only light was from a group of candles that had been placed on the shelf under the window. "Captain?" She asked, before she stepped into the gloom.

"Seven, what can I do for you?" The Captain asked quietly, and Seven saw that she was sitting on the sofa below the candles.

"I wondered if I might speak with you." She said, finally stepping into the room.

She felt vaguely uncomfortable in the gloom, but didn't say anything. "You may." The Captain said as the door swooshed closed behind Seven.

The taller woman stepped further into the room. "I wanted to talk to you about something personal." Sevens aid, unsure of herself now that she was there.

Janeway indicated that she should sit down, but didn't speak. "I understand that Chakotay has informed you of my problem?" Seven said, sitting on the edge of a chair facing her Captain.

Kathryn's heart rebounded in her chest, and she closed her eyes. It was bad enough that Chakotay had asked her to have this conversation, but now that she was about to have it, she knew that she couldn't carry it off. "Seven I am not sure that I am the person with whom you should be discussing this." She said quietly.

Seven wasn't to be put off. "But you see I care for Chakotay a great deal, but I just don't feel ready to progress to a physical relationship. I am not sure what I am supposed to feel." She said.

Kathryn remained quiet. Seven continued. "You see, the Doctor told me that love was a wonderful thing between two people. He said that I would get great physical pleasure from a romantic relationship. And you see, I don't feel anything. I don't want Chakotay to touch me like that, and I don't understand why not." She said, unaware of the effect of her words on the older woman who sat opposite her.

Kathryn could see Seven's hair shimmering in the half-light from the candles. Her expression was one of confusion and distress and Kathryn's heart melted. She cared enough about the younger woman to want to brush away her worries, but at the same time, she cared too much to be able to advise her on how to love another. "Seven the only thing I can tell you is that you should take the Doctor's advice, don't try to rush anything. If it is supposed to happen it will." She said finally, when she realized that Seven was waiting for her to say something.

Seven looked up, the Captain's voice was strained and sounded harsh. She stood up. "I am sorry that I disturbed you Captain, Tuvok had informed me that you were feeling unwell. I should have waiting to have this discussion with you until you are feeling better." She said, and left the room before Kathryn could reply.

Kathryn turned her head to stare out of the window at the passing stars and didn't stop the tears from flowing down her face.

******************

Seven walked away from the Captain's quarters in a state of confusion. She had thought that she and the Captain had developed a friendship, one in which they could talk to each other on an informal and personal basis, but the Captain's tone had lead her to believe that she didn't want to discuss personal matters with the younger woman. Seven wondered when their friendship had changed, and she felt saddened by that knowledge. As if something was missing from inside her. It was a feeling that she was very unused to, and she brushed it aside, changing the direction of her thoughts to her own problems. She walked towards the mess hall, thinking that she might find someone in there that she could talk to.

B'Elanna was startled when Seven sat at the table with her. "Seven." She said, looking up at the younger woman.

"B'Elanna, I need some assistance." Seven said, and B'Elanna put her fork down.

"Sure, what is your problem?" She asked, leaning forward slightly.

"I am trying to establish a romantic relationship with Commander Chakotay and I am not able to relax in his presence." Seven said.

B'Elanna nearly choked on Seven's words. "Oh I see, well um exactly what is the problem?" She asked, wondering why Seven had sought her out.

"I think there is something wrong with me, because the Doctor told me that when I kiss the person to whom I am romantically attracted then I would feel sensations. I am not feeling sensations when Chakotay kisses me." Seven said.

B'Elanna looked around her. "Seven, this isn't really the place for this discussion. Can we meet later? I have to get back to engineering now, but perhaps we could meet this evening to discuss this further." She said, hoping to put Seven off completely.

Seven nodded her acquiescence." That would be acceptable." She said and stood up.

B'Elanna stood up and followed Seven out of the room. She would have to talk to Tom before this evening, and see if he had any suggestions on how to talk to Seven about romance.

B'Elanna stood in her quarters. Tom was laughing hysterically, he was laughing so much that he was lying on his side on the sofa. "She asked you?" He said, tears of laughter rolled down his face.

B'Elanna was not amused. "Tom you are not helping." She said crossly.

He sat up. "No I am sorry, but Seven asked *you* about romance?" He said, grinning from ear to ear.

"What the hell am I supposed to say to her?" B'Elanna asked sitting next to him.

"Well, why don't you just try answering her questions?" Tom said, putting his arm around her shoulders and kissing her cheek gently.

B'Elanna managed a smile. "I suess. But you will have to make yourself scarce." She said, and he rolled his eyes.

"But I wanted to watch Flash Gordon tonight." He complained.

B'Elanna stood up. "Tough, and she will be here in about 2 minutes." She said, pulling off her uniform jacket.

The doorbell chimed and Tom went to answer it. Seven stood outside waiting to be allowed entry. "Mr. Paris." She said, clearly startled to see him there.

"Don't worry Seven, I am going out." He said, and pushed past her.

Seven stepped into the room. "Hi, come on in." B'Elanna said, and Seven moved towards the large sofa in the center of the room.

"Would you like a drink?" B'Elanna asked.

Seven declined the offer and sat on the edge of the sofa. "Well then, fire away." B'Elanna said.

Seven looked at her curiously. "I mean, start asking questions." B'Elanna said, sitting opposite the younger woman.

Seven sat back on the sofa and thought about where she should begin. All afternoon she had been thinking about what she could ask the Chief Engineer about romance, and she had not been able to come up with anything. "Ok, well how about I ask you some questions." B'Elanna said, seeing that Seven was struggling.

Seven nodded. "That would be satisfactory." She said, and B'Elanna smiled to herself.

"Ok, well how about what do you know about what goes on between a man and a woman?"

"When a man and a woman are romantically attracted to each other, they spend time in each other's company. They will become close, will learn little things about each other that are endearing. They will kiss and be physically intimate, and the physical intimacy will result in sensations." Seven said, trying to piece everything together.

B'Elanna nodded. "And how far along the development of a romance are you with Chakotay?" She asked.

Seven looked up. "We have become close. We have kissed." She said hesitantly.

B'Elanna nodded. "Have you, done anything more than kissing?"

"I do not understand."

"Have you, um, have you touched Chakotay?"

"Yes I have."

"I mean intimately."

"I don't understand." B'Elanna sighed, this was going to be more difficult that she had imagined.

She decided to try a different tack. "What happens when he kisses you?" She asked.

Seven looked at her. "I kiss him." She said, raising her ocular implant questioningly.

"But how do you *feel* when he kisses you?"

"I feel like I am being kissed."

"But do you get any, sensations?" B'Elanna asked, picking up on the words that Seven herself had used.

"Sensations?"

"Yes, sensations."

"Explain."

"Sensations Seven, feelings, strange tinglings in your body." B'Elanna said, sipping her mug of tea.

"No, I don't. Should I?" Seven asked clearly confused.

B'Elanna nodded. "If you are attracted to Chakotay you would feel those sensations." She said carefully.

She didn't want to upset Seven, but at the same time she was becoming frustrated with the conversation. "How do I develop those sensation?" Seven asked.

"You can't develop them Seven. When you are in love they just happen." B'Elanna said.

"Do you get tinglings when Mr. Paris kisses you?" Seven asked.

B'Elanna sat back. She looked down at the floor unsure how much she wanted to divulge. "Yes." She said finally.

"What happens then? Do the tingliings continue?" Seven asked, her curiosity was piqued.

"Yes, the continue, and they develop, and they make you want to do more than just kiss."

"More?"

"Yes Seven more."

"Explain."

"More, touch, stroke, and make love, the tinglings make you want to make love." B'Elanna said in exasperation.

She knew that she wasn't explaining this very well but she was acutely embarrassed now, and she wished that she had refused Seven's request to discuss this further. "And what happens when you make love, do you get other sensations? " Seven asked, her inertest was purely scientific now.

"Oh Seven, when you make love to a man, the sensations become very much more intense. They become so intense that your knees go weak, your mind can focus on only one thing, and your whole body is filled with sensations. All you want to do is be possessed by the man you are with, and you want to possess him. Nothing else matters at that moment, nothing. And the pleasure. Oh Seven the pleasure is sometimes more than you can bear, but nothing would make you stop." B'Elanna said, leaning forward and speaking quietly.

Seven listening intently, found herself leaning forward too. She wanted to experience sensations that made her forget everything else, and made her legs go weak. "How can I experience this?" She asked, and B'Elanna sat back.

"You will when you make love." She said.

Seven stood up. "Thank you for this conversation." She said and turned to leave.

"Seven, what I said just not. Please don't tell anyone else." B'Elanna said, and Seven turned to face her.

"No I will not." She said and left the room.

Seven walked towards Chakotay's quarters. She wanted to experiment immediately, she wanted to know what it was like to feel the sensations, and to feel them so intensely that her knees went weak. She hurried along the corridor. Once outside Chakotay's quarters Seven realized that her heart was racing. She raised her hand to activate the door chime, but the door opened before she could. Chakotay stood in front of her. He was dressed in a silk robe, his legs were bare beneath it and his hair was damp. Seven concluded that he had recently emerged from the shower. "Seven, some in." He said, gripping her elbow gently and steering her into the room.

A feeling of apprehension immediately overcame Seven as the door swooshed closed behind them, and she tried to control her nervousness. Chakotay steered her towards the sofa and she sat down gratefully. "Would you like a drink?" He asked, and for the second time that evening she refused.

He sat next to her, and the silk robe slid to one side revealing a long hard thigh that gleamed in the light. His sin was covered in short, dark, curly hairs, and Seven reached out to touch him. Her hand rested on his thigh and she stared down at his naked leg. "Oh Seven, don't." He whispered in her ear.

Chakotay reached to release Seven's hair from its plait, and ran his fingers through its golden length as it cascaded down her back. Seven moved her fingers across Chakotay's thigh and he grunted. "Seven, do you know what you are doing?" He asked, leaning forward to kiss her neck.

Seven didn't respond, as she concentrated on her own response to him. Chakotay reached his hand around to cup Seven's chin. He turned her face towards him, and then kissed her. His lips were pressed against her, and Seven concentrated on the tingling that she expected to feel. Chakotay's pressed the tip of his tongue against her lips, trying to gain entrance to her moist mouth, she finally parted her lips and allowed him entry,. His tongue slid across her teeth, and then probed more deeply. Seven could feel his breathing deepening. Her hand slid further up his thigh, and his body reacted with a little jump. Seven pulled her head back. "Are you experiencing tingling?" She asked him.

Chakotay looked down at her, his eyes were hooded with desire and he smiled. "Oh yes Seven I am definitely experiencing tingling." He said, and then bent his head to kiss her again.

Seven concentrated on any sensations that she was feeing, but there was nothing. Chakotay pressed his body against her, pushing her back against the cushions of the sofa. Seven resisted and he pushed harder. His hand reached up and rested gently on her breast, Seven pulled her head back. "I." She began, and then her eyes opened wide with shock.

Chakotay's robe had slipped open and his erection was jutting proudly up from the thick thatch of hair in his lap. Seven's mouth opened wide, and closed again. She had never seen such a thing in her life before. "See how much I want you?" Chakotay asked, kissing her hair.

Seven stood up quickly and backed away from him. "Seven?" He asked, not understanding her problem.

"What.?." She asked, pointing to his lap.

Chakotay looked down and then realized that she had probably never seen a man naked before, let along a man in a state of excitement. He pulled his robe over to cover himself and stood up. "Seven it is what happens to a man when he becomes sexually excited." He said, moving towards her, and wondering why the Captain hadn't explained that to her.

"What do you do with it?" She asked incredulously.

The look of worry and concern on Seven's face made Chakotay's excitement begin to fail, and he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and assure her that he wasn't about to force her to do anything that she didn't want to do. "Well Seven do you know about human lovemaking? About how a man and woman join together and gain pleasure from each other's body? " He asked.

Seven didn't reply, she couldn't take her eyes off his body. "Seven?" Chakotay prompted.

Seven desperately tried to think over what the Doctor had told her about sex, and then the reality of the situation dawned on her. "You want to, you, with that, to me? No. No, no no." She said, shaking her head and backing away from him.

"Seven?" Chakotay said, reaching out towards her, but Seven ran from the room.

She ran down the corridor and away from his quarters. Seven ran all the way back to Cargo Bay 2, and once she was inside she leaned against the door. Then quickly turned and locked the door so that Chakotay couldn't follow her into the room. She leaned against the door again, and rested her head against the cool metal. 'How could B'Elanna enjoy Tom doing that to her? How could she possibly get tingles from that? No.' Seven's mind was racing, and she knew that she could never gain pleasure from such an act.

Finally she stepped away from the door and crossed to her regeneration unit. She resolved to speak to the Doctor the next morning, after she had regenerated. With that decision made, she stepped into the alcove and began her regeneration cycle.

Kathryn Janeway stood up, the candles had burned out and her tears had finally dried up. She needed to go for a walk. She stepped out into the corridor. It was late in the evening and she didn't expect to meet anyone, if anyone. She headed down towards the holodecks, wondering if she could find some time free, and perhaps visit that café on the French Riviera, or perhaps take a gondola ride through Venice. As she approached the holodecks Tom and Harry came walking towards her, she pasted a smile on her face, and hoped that her eyes weren't too puffy from crying. "Captain?" Harry said, as they approached her.

Tom was laughing. "Tom, Harry, what is making you laugh?" She asked, not really interested in the answer but wanting to steer them away from asking after her.

"Oh we were just talking about Seven and Chakotay. It seems that Seven went to my wife for suggestions on romance." Tom said, oblivious to way his words turned into a steel knife that pierced his Captain's heart.

"Yes, I bet Chakotay was in for a wild night tonight if Seven used Klingon mating rituals on him." Harry said, and the two men walked away laughing loudly.

Kathryn leaned against the wall, her heart was pounding in her ears, and she felt weak. She couldn't breath properly and her eyes began to mist over. She inhaled sharply as she tried to clear her mind of the fog that had descended. She could hear Tom and Harry laughing as they walked away from her. Their hilarity was bouncing off the walls, and surrounded her, mocking her and pushing her rational thoughts to the very back of her conscious. She turned to watch them walk away. Her stare was desperate, and all she could think was that she needed to get away.

*********************

Tuvok stood watching the stars pass by his window. He was concerned. Captain Janeway had stayed in her room for three days now, refusing to talk to anyone, accepting report pads with out even glancing at them, and strongly rejecting any and all offers of help. Tuvok had just finished another shift with Chakotay in command of the ship. Even the Commander had seemed out of sorts for the last few days, and Tuvok began to wonder if there wasn't a special anomaly in the locality, which was affecting the ships crew. Seven of Nine had also been extremely quiet, only offering reports when commanded to do so. Tuvok decided to try to talk to the Captain. When he had entered her quarters earlier that evening she had been lying on the sofa in the dark. He had asked her if she required the Doctors attendance and she had refused with a shake of her head.

He strode along the corridor, Commander Chakotay appeared ahead of him and the two men matched paces as they walked. "I am on my way to see the Captain." Chakotay stated after a few moments of silence.

"I am also headed to see the Captain." Tuvok stated.

Chakotay looked at him. "I am concerned about her hiding herself a way like this. It isn't like her." He said

Tuvok nodded in agreement. "I too am concerned. I fear that she requires medical intervention." Tuvok said, and Chakotay nodded.

"I hope she allows us in." He said, and they continued to walk in silence.

Tuvok activated the door chime on the Captain's door. There was no response and he activated the chime a second time. When there was still no response Tuvok tapped his comm. badge. "Tuvok to the Captain." He said, and was answered by silence.

"Captain please respond." He stated.

Chakotay looked up. "Computer locate Captain Janeway."

"The Captain is in her quarters." The computer stated.

Tuvok and Chakotay exchanged a look. Tuvok activated the door chime again. "Captain?" He commanded into his comm. badge.

There was still no response and Tuvok over rode the door locking mechanism and strode into the room. It was in complete darkness and Tuvok peered into the room to see if he could see anyone. "Computer lights." Chakotay commanded.

The lights came up brightly and the men gasped. The room was in total disarray; there were sheets and blankets spread on the floor. Cushions from the sofa were scattered around, and the usually ordered ornaments and books were also scattered around. It looked as though a hurricane had swept through leaving devastation and disorder in its wake. There was no sign of the Captain. Chakotay stepped over the piles of bedding and crossed to the bedroom door. He looked in cautiously. There was no sign of anyone in there either, but the room was in as much disarray as the living room had been. He turned to look at Tuvok and shook his head.

Tuvok stepped towards the bathroom door. He was hesitant to enter in case the Captain was in a state of undress, but he knew that he had to locate her as soon as possible. He peered around the doorway, but the bathroom was as empty as the rest of the quarters had been. "There is no sign of her." Tuvok said, returning to the living room.

Chakotay looked around him. "But why does the computer say she is here?" He asked, searching around for Janeway's comm. badge.

Tuvok bent down and retrieved the badge from beneath the corner of the comforter that was heaped on the floor. He held it up to Chakotay. "Damn. Where is she?" Chakotay said, and they turned and left the room together.

Tuvok returned to the bridge, while Chakotay went to sickbay. He wondered if the Doctor had seen the Captain recently. Tuvok immediately initiated a ship wide scan for the Captain's biosigns. "Tuvok? What is going on?" Harry asked.

Tuvok didn't reply but focused on his task. "Chakotay to Tuvok."

"Go ahead."

"The Doctor hasn't seen her." Chakotay said, and Tuvok sighed.

"I can't find her either." He said, noting that his sensor sweep of the ship had not revealed the Captain's whereabouts.

"Tuvok to Seven of Nine." Tuvok called.

"Seven here."

"Seven can you please run a level ten diagnostic of the ships internal sensors?" Tuvok requested, and Seven complied.

A few seconds later Tuvok ran another sensor sweep of the ship. There was still no sign of the Captain, and he was extremely confused. "Lieutenant, I am detecting an intriguing entry in the ship's system log." Seven said over the comm.

"Report." Chakotay said, as he re-entered the bridge.

"According to the log the Delta Flyer was launched approximately 67 minutes ago." Seven said, reading from the logs that she had accessed.

"Tom?" Tuvok said, looking at the helmsman.

Tom ran his hands over the helm controls and looked back with a puzzled expression on his face. "I have no such record." He stated.

"Security Team 3 meet me in Cargo Bay 1." Tuvok said, and rushed from the room.

Chakotay and Tom exchanged looks. "Engineering to the bridge." B'Elanna's voice called.

"Go ahead B'Elanna." Chakotay said.

"Chakotay it looks like someone has set an algorithm running on the engineering control computer. It had been set to disable the warp core in about 2 minutes time. We are working to remove, or at least disrupt the algorithm." She reported, and Tom could tell that she was working frantically to fix the problem as she spoke.

Chakotay looked up. "I am coming down there." He said, and rushed from the room.

"Tuvok to Chakotay, the Delta Flier is missing." Tuvok reported over the comm. as he stared at the empty cargo bay.

Chakotay and B'Elanna worked furiously to cancel the algorithm, but they were unsuccessful, and the warp core shut down. "Damn." B'Elanna said, looking up as she swirling lights of the core slowly dimmed.

"How long will it take you to reinitialize it?" Chakotay asked impatiently.

"Two maybe three hours, we will have to remove this algorithm and reset the controls." B'Elanna said as she tapped her computer console.

"What the hell is going on here?" Chakotay asked.

Tuvok meanwhile was back on the bridge. "All senior officers to the briefing room." He commanded, and Tom, Harry and he walked into the small room off the bridge.

The other senior officers, Chakotay, B'Elanna, the Doctor and Seven of Nine, joined them. Chakotay lead the meeting. "We have to assume that the Captain has stolen the flier. We have no idea why, or where she was headed. Tom, Seven track the flier, Harry work with B'Elanna, we have to get the Warp Core back on line as soon as possible. Doctor, I want you to go through the Captain's personal logs and see if you can find out what is going on. Tuvok, do you have anything to add?" Chakotay finished, turning to the tall Vulcan.

Tuvok shook his head. "Who was the last person to see the Captain?" He asked, wondering if any of them had any insight into her erratic behavior.

Tom looked up. "Well Harry and I saw her the other evening. When was that Harry? About midnight on Tuesday?" He said, frowning in concentration at Harry.

Harry nodded. "We were just leaving the holodeck and bumped into her in the corridor outside. She looked ok." Harry said.

Tom disagreed. "No she didn't she looked like hell, if I didn't know better I would have said that she was very upset." He said.

Chakotay looked at him. "What did she say?" He asked.

"Umm, well, she asked what we were laughing about." Harry said, clearly embarrassed.

"And what were you laughing about?" Chakotay asked.

Tom and Harry exchanged looks. "I don't think that is relevant to the Captain's mood." Tom said quickly.

Tuvok agreed. "You say she looked upset, did she say anything else?" He asked.

Tom shook his head. "I will check the holologs to see if she accessed any programs that evening. Did anyone see her since then?" He asked.

Chakotay nodded. "I saw her Wednesday to give her the ship's reports. She looked fine. Well as fine as I could tell, it was dark in her rooms, and she had her back to me." He said.

"Yes her rooms were in darkness when I spoke to her yesterday. Did anyone see or speak to her today?" He asked.

No one replied, and so Tuvok assumed that he had been the last person to see or speak to the Captain. "Then I have no explanation for her erratic behavior." He stated, and the senior officers exchanged looks.

"Let's keep this between ourselves, we don't want the rest of the crew getting wind that the Captain has gone." Chakotay said, looking around the table.

His gaze rested on Seven of Nine. He had been carefully avoiding her for the past 3 days, hoping that she would come to him. But so far she hadn't even tried to speak to him. She was staring down at the table now, and he wondered what was going through her mind. "Ok, let's get to work, and we shall meet here again in one hour for an update." He said finally, and stood up.

As Seven walked past him, Chakotay grabbed her arm. "Seven we need to talk." He hissed.

Tuvok threw him a questioning look, which he ignored. "No." Seven said, and pulled away from him.

He couldn't go after her without creating a scene, and that was the last thing he wanted to do, so he let her go.

Kathryn sat at the helm of the Delta Flier, her mind was completely blank and she felt nothing. The shuttle was hurtling through space at Warp 9, headed nowhere. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the chair rest. The emptiness of her life was weighing heavily on her heart, and she knew that she couldn't function much longer. When she had set the algorithm to be triggered by a scan for her biosigns she knew that she was playing a dangerous game. That if she were caught she would have to be court marshaled for the sabotage of her ship. Captain Kathryn Janeway of the United Federation of Planets was no longer, she had effectively resigned her commission when she had stolen the Delta Flier, and she knew that she could never go back.

She also knew that the crew of Voyager would come after her, and she knew that they could never find her. For Kathryn there was only one course of action open to her now, and as difficult as that was, she would have to implement it soon. It had been three hours since she had left the ship, and she knew that at best she had another hour before they caught up with her. She leaned forward and activated the computer. "Computer record message." She said, her voice sounding raspy to her ears.

She recorded a brief message, knowing that her crew would pick it up. She didn't try to explain her actions, how could she when she didn't understand them herself. She then left brief, but personal messages for her closest companions from the seven-year mission. Kathryn launched the buoy into space, and left it behind as she continued hurtling along at Warp 9.

Several minutes later Kathryn opened her eyes and stared ahead of her. It was time. She inhaled deeply several times, and then leaned forward and once again tapped the computer console. "Janeway to computer, initiate self destruct sequence, authorization Janeway pi one one zero."

The computer bleeped. "Authorization confirmed."

Chakotay sat in the briefing room waiting for the rest of the senior officers to arrive for their update meeting. The door swooshed open and the Doctor walked in. "Doctor."

"Commander." The EMH said, and sat down.

Chakotay couldn't hold his curiosity any longer. "Did you find anything that might help?" He blurted.

The Doctor looked at him. "Well yes I think I did. Although the Captain didn't make any entries to her log in the last 24 hours, there were several previous entries that implied that she was suffering from severe depression. I just wish that she had talked to me about it." He said, shaking his head sadly.

The EMH had been very disturbed to read of the depth of the Captains despair, and how she had apparently been sinking ever deeper over the last few weeks. He hadn't as yet been far enough back to be able to identify the cause of her depression, but he felt that it was only a matter of time. "I had no idea." Chakotay said, deeply saddened by the knowledge that his friend had been so desperate and hadn't felt that she could reach out to him for help.

Tuvok entered the room with Tom and Harry. He looked from Chakotay to the Doctor and back as he sat down. "You have news Doctor?" He asked.

The Doctor nodded, but waited to speak until B'Elanna and Seven had joined them. When all the senior officers were seated the Doctor rose dramatically. "I have discovered that the Captain was deep in a pit of depression. I do not know the cause of the depression at this time, but I will continue with my investigation. However, there was nothing in her log to give me any indication that her departure from the ship was planned. At least she didn't mention it in her log. However, she didn't make any entries in the last 24 hours prior to her departure." He said, pacing up and down behind Tom and B'Elanna.

Tom turned to face him. "The Captain was depressed?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes so it would seem." The Doctor said, clearly annoyed at being interrupted.

"Did she speak with anyone about this depression?" Tuvok asked looking around the table.

Everyone shook their heads, and looked down at the table. Tuvok looked to Chakotay, but he was clearly wrapped up in his own thoughts. "We all let her down." He said, clearly reading the thoughts of several of the people around him.

Chakotay looked up. "Ok, now we know why she went, let's talk about how to get her back." He said, and looked to B'Elanna for her report.

"The warp core will be reinitialized in about 60 minutes, I am working as fast as I can. It took us a while to work out how to remove the feedback loop of that algorithm she wrote. It was pretty ingenious. Seven managed to help there though." B'Elanna said, smiling across the table and the younger woman.

Seven wasn't able to return the smile. She felt unwell. Her body temperature had risen and yet she felt cold. "Seven?" Tuvok prompted her.

"I am sorry?" She said, not daring to look at Chakotay.

"Report?" Chakotay asked, realizing that she was having trouble behaving normally in his presence.

"I have scanned the area for the warp signature of the Delta Flier, I can find no trace. I have looked for the warp particles, I have looked for the engine signature, and I have looked for Capt.." her voice cracked slightly as she spoke and she swallowed hard. "Captain Janeway's biosigns, I can find no trace of her." She finished, staring down at her hands.

"Tom do you have anything to add?" Chakotay asked.

Tom shook his head. "We have looked for everything that even might tell us which direction she went off in. There is nothing out there." He said.

Tuvok shook his head. "There must be something, subspace transmitter signals, something." He said.

Seven looked up. "We were going to initiate long range sensor scans for subspace transmissions. Mr. Paris reminded me just a few moments ago that the Delta Flier has an inbuilt homing beacon." She said, her voice was slightly stronger this time, but she still felt unwell.

Chakotay looked away from her. "Ok so now we know why she left, and we will be able to go after her soon, but we don't know which way to go. Let us get onto that, Doctor continue your investigation, I want to know what triggered this depression, so that we know what to expect when we find her. Dismissed." He said, standing up.

Everyone filed out of the room. The Doctor followed Seven, and she stopped a few feet outside the door. "Doctor I require an examination." She said, and he nodded.

"Come to sick bay I will conduct one immediately."

"Mr. Paris, I will rejoin you in Astrometrics as soon as possible." She stated, and followed the EMH along the corridor.

"Seems to me that the Captain isn't the only one suffering from depression." Harry said into Tom's ear as they watched her walk away.

Tom nodded. "Chakkers isn't in too good a mood either." He said, and they both laughed.

"Lover's tiff?" Harry asked.

"Mr. Kim, Mr. Paris, we do not have the luxury of time." Chakotay's voice rang out along the corridor and the two young men hurried off to continue their work.

Seven sat on the biobed as the Doctor scanned her with a hand held medical tricorder. "I can't see anything immediately wrong. Your ocular implant is slightly out of alignment, but that shouldn't cause you to feel ill." He said.

"I feel as if there is something inside me that is trying to get out." Seven said, pressing one hand to her stomach.

"I see. What have you eaten recently?" The Doctor asked, getting his equipment ready to adjust Seven's implant.

"I have been avoiding Neelix's newest creations, and sticking to tried and trusted foods." Seven said.

The Doctor adjusted her ocular implant and stood back. "Well that is about it. We shall see if that was making you feel disoriented, which might make you feel ill." He said, replacing his small silver toolkit in the drawer.

"Doctor, there is something else I wish to discuss with you." Seven said cautiously.

The Doctor turned to look at her. "But you have to promise me that you will not talk to anyone else about it." She said.

The EMH realized that Seven looked very nervous, and he nodded his assurance. "Doctor patient confidentiality Seven, you can rely on me to keep whatever you tell me to myself." He said.

"A few nights ago, I was alone with Commander Chakotay," she began, "and he was, excited I think was the word he used. But Doctor it was *huge*." Seven said, turning her face to the Doctor.

He could see her distress and although he wanted to laugh, he knew that he had to tread carefully. "Seven, a man, when he becomes sexually aroused, does get larger in certain parts of his anatomy, but it is perfectly natural." He began.

"But Doctor, B'Elanna told me that I would feel sensations, tingling, feelings that would make me *want* him to do those things to me. I didn't feel any of that. What is wrong with me?" She begged.

The EMH sat down next to her on the bed. "There is nothing wrong with you Seven." He said, taking her hand and comforting her.

"I am supposed to get sensations when he kisses me." Seven said miserably.

The Doctor patted her hand again. "Seven, you will only get those sensations, those wants, when you are with the one you love. You need to ask yourself, do you really love Chakotay?" He said softly.

"How do I know that I love him?"

"Well you have to ask yourself, do you want to be with him, do you want to touch him, to have him touch you? Do you think about him all the time? Does the sight of him make your heart flutter and your mind go blank? Does hearing his voice lift your spirits? Does making him smile give you pleasure? Ask yourself, what would you do for him? Does the thought of him kissing you make your knees go weak?" The Doctor asked, looking up at the ceiling as he spoke.

These were questions that he knew he would like someone to ask themselves about him, but he knew it wasn't likely. "I haven't thought about it that deeply." Seven said, her confusion was even greater.

"Well you need to take some time and ask yourself." The Doctor said cheerfully, glad that he had been able to help.

"But what about sex? When will I know that I am ready for sex?" Seven asked.

The Doctor sighed. "Well Seven, when you know whom it is you love, sex will come naturally. And then you will feel those sensations and tingles just by thinking about having sex with that person." He said, cryptically.

Seven stood up. "Thank you Doctor." She said, and left the room.

The EMH watched her go and smiled to himself. He knew that Seven would make someone a wonderful partner in time, but he also knew that person would not be Commander Chakotay. He hummed the opening bars of Figaro as he sat down at his desk to access the Captain's personal logs again.

Seven accessed the Astrometrics lab and saw Tom standing at her station. Icheb was standing beside him and they were scanning the region. Charts of the star systems in the vicinity covered the huge view screen and they were using long-range sensors to look for the homing beacon on the Delta Flier. "Did you find anything yet?" Seven asked, stepping up to the console.

Tom shook his head. "No, not yet, but I haven't given up hope yet." He said, and then turned to face her.

"Are you ok?" He asked, and Seven felt that he had genuine concern in his voice.

"I am fine." She said, and imagined him kissing her.

There were no tingles, and she crossed him off her list with relief. "There what is that?" Icheb said suddenly, pointing to s speck of light flashing on the screen.

Tom punched a few keys on the pad. That is a subspace transmitter alright, but it isn't the Delta Flier homing beacon." He said, his fingers running over the control pad.

Seven was working equally fast on her pad. "It has a Star Fleet signature though." She said, concentrating hard on her task.

"Do you think it is the Delta Flier?" Icheb asked.

Seven wondered what he knew about their search. "I have no idea." She stated, and then wondered what it would be like to kiss Icheb.

She mentally crossed him off her list as well when there were no tingles in her stomach. "Should we inform Commander Chakotay?" Icheb asked.

"No, not yet, let's try to identify it first." Tom said, adjusting the parameters of the sensors.

Suddenly the ship shuddered and Tom looked up. "The warp core is back on line, I had better get up to the bridge." He said, and left the room.

Seven continued to check the sensors, becoming more convinced that the subspace signal that they had identified had been left behind by their wayward Captain. Icheb was watching her closely. "Seven who took the Flier?" He asked, and she realized that he had no idea that the Captain had left them.

"That is irrelevant." She said, looking back down at her console.

"Chakotay to Astrometrics. Do you have anything to report?" He asked.

Seven thought for a moment. Did the sound of Chakotay's voice make her heart race? The answer was categorically no. "Yes Commander, we have identified a subspace signal with a Star Fleet signature. It is not the Delta Flier's homing beacon, but I do believe that it signals the direction that the Delta Flier took." She said, and the realization that she did not love Chakotay lifted a weight from her shoulders that she hadn't realized was there.

"Transmit the co-ordinates." Chakotay commanded, not realizing that he had just been dumped.

Tom took his place at the helm and immediately jumped to Warp 9, heading off in the direction that Seven had transmitted. Chakotay sat back in his chair, and Tuvok watched the screen with anticipation. "How long till we reach the co-ordinates Mr. Paris?" Chakotay asked.

Tom could tell that he was as anxious as the rest of the crew. "Three hours at warp 9." He said.

Chakotay exhaled sharply. "I will be in my quarters, keep me informed." He said, and left the bridge.

Chakotay walked down to his quarters quickly. He wanted to talk to Seven, now that they were heading in the right direction he knew that they had time. He veered off and headed towards Astrometrics, knowing that Seven probably wouldn't be too keen on meeting with him in his room again. He walked into Astrometrics taking Seven and Icheb by surprised. "Seven I need to talk to you." He said quietly, stepping up to stand behind her.

She didn't turn around. "I need to get this finished." She said, not stopping her work.

"Seven. Please." Chakotay said, and glared at Icheb who was watching them.

"Don't you have anything to do?" He asked the young Borg.

Icheb shook his head. "I am monitoring." He said, and turned back to his console.

"Well go and monitor somewhere else." Chakotay said gruffly.

Icheb left the room and Seven turned to face Chakotay. "Commander." She began.

Chakotay silenced her with a kiss, but quickly pulled back when he realized that she wasn't returning his kiss. She was as stiff as a rod in his arms, and he instantly knew that something was wrong. "What is it?" He asked, letting go of her arms.

"Commander, I have been thinking seriously about my feelings for you, and I have come to the conclusion that I do not care for you in the way that you care for me. I do not wish to pursue a romantic relationship with you any longer." Seven said, she had been practicing what to say to him for the last hour, but when the moment came she just said what was on her mind.

Chakotay backed away from her, stumbling as he went. He reached out for something to steady himself on. Her words cut into him like a knife. He had no warning of her intention, and she was looking at him now as if she had just told him that she would like a cup of tea. "But Seven, I thought, we, I, you." He stammered, trying to regain control of his jumbled thoughts.

"Commander, I do not love you, and I can't pursue a romantic relationship with you unless I love you." She stated.

Chakotay turned pale and leaned against the wall. "But Seven, I love you." He said, as if that would make her change her mind.

She simply watched him as she tried to regain his composure. After a few moments he wiped one hand across his face, then turned and left the room without speaking further. Seven turned back to the console and began scanning the region for any indication of the presence of the Delta Flier.

Tuvok sat in the mess hall sipping his soup. They had been traveling at Warp 9 for 2.5 hours and he knew that soon they would be close enough to ascertain the exact source of the subspace signal that they were still receiving. "May I join you Lieutenant Tuvok." The Astrometrics officer asked, standing before him.

"Go ahead Seven." He said, indicating that she should sit down.

Seven took a seat opposite the tall Vulcan and wondered what it would be like to kiss him. Neelix appeared at her shoulder. "Seven how wonderful to see you in here again." He said, clapping his hands together in his enthusiasm.

Seven studied the Vulcan's cool demeanor and realized that there were no sensations accompanying her thoughts and mentally crossed him off her list. "I require a nutritional supplement." She said, looking up at Mr. Neelix.

"Wonderful, I have several things today that might tempt you. I have some leola root stew, I have a Tarkian omelette, and I have a compote of mushrooms a la Neelix." The Talaxian chef said.

Seven imagined him kissing her, and her stomach churned. She wondered if this was the sort of sensation that she should expect, but the feeling of nausea that accompanied the churning made her believe that was not the case. "I would like the omelette I believe." She said after a moment's pause.

Neelix rushed off to fill her order. "Seven, I couldn't help but notice that you were looking at Mr. Neelix in a very strange manner." Tuvok said, studying her face as he spoke.

"You are right, I am trying to ascertain to whom I am attracted." She stated.

Tuvok raised one eyebrow. "Seven, you don't *have* to be attracted to someone." He said quietly.

Seven looked back at him. "I realize that, however I have been displaying the classic symptoms of romantic attachment. I just haven't identified the source of that attachment." She said.

Tuvok raised his eyebrow again. "What are the classic symptoms?" He asked carefully.

"I have been distracted and unable to concentrate, and I have been suffering from stomach upset for a few weeks now." She said.

Tuvok would have smiled if he weren't a Vulcan. "That sounds like indigestion to me." He said.

Seven didn't pick up on his irony. "I consulted the Doctor and he informed me that I am in love." She said.

"Yes and Commander Chakotay is a lucky man." Neelix said as he appeared at her shoulder, and placed a steaming omelette in front of her.

Seven looked down at the plate, and picked up her fork. "Bon appetit." Neelix said, grinning from ear to ear as he walked away again.

Seven ate her omelette in silence. Tuvok finished his soup and carefully wiped his mouth. "If you will excuse me I should return to the bridge. He said, aware that they were rapidly closing in on the last known location of the Captain.

Seven nodded and he walked away, wondering if he should talk to the Doctor about leading Seven along a fruitless search for romance. As she ate Seven looked around the room. There were several crewmembers in there, and she carefully pondered a romantic assignation with each and every one of them. When there were no sensations, or tingles, Seven crossed them off her list. The list was becoming shorter at a rapid pace and Seven was convinced that it was only a matter of time before she identified the object of her affection. "Seven report to the bridge." Chakotay's voice rang out over the comm.

"Acknowledged." She replied, and stood up.

As she passed people in the corridors on her way back to the bridge, Seven thought about kissing them, and by the time she had reached the command post, she had only got 28 people left on her list. "Seven please assist Mr. Kim." Chakotay said, not looking at her although he acknowledged her presence by giving her the command.

Seven stepped up to stand next to Harry Kim at operations. She looked sideways at him and he smiled back at her. She wondered what it would be like to touch his skin, and she stopped for a moment waiting for the tingles. When there was nothing Seven shook her head. "Seven?" Harry asked, not understanding why she was shaking her head at him.

"Ensign?" She asked, not understanding what he was asking her.

"Commander, the source of the signal is a buoy." Tuvok said suddenly.

They had reached the last known co-ordinates of the Delta Flier. "On screen." Chakotay commanded, and the buoy that Janeway had launched nearly four hours ago appeared on the screen.

"It is hailing us." Harry said loudly.

"On screen." Chakotay commanded, and the screen was filled with Janeway's face.

She looked terrible. Her face was grey and her eyes were blood shot and sunken into her cheeks. Her hair was a mess and her uniform jacket was hanging open at the neck. She began to speak, and as the first words boomed out over the comm. "Computer freeze." Chakotay commanded.

Seven looked up in shock. The sound of Janeway's voice had caused her heart to almost stop, and the sight of her face made Seven's stomach flip flop. She looked down quickly. She had sensations. She was feeling sensations. She closed her eyes and imagined the Captain kissing her, and a flood of unfamiliar sensations raged through her body, concentrating in her groin, and she grunted in surprise. "Seven?" Harry asked, as she bent forward over the console.

Seven looked around her wildly as the sensations in her groin began to settle down again. She closed her eyes again, and gripped the sides of the computer console. She imagined Captain Janeway's lips on hers, her hands on her body, and then she imagined something that she didn't even know that she could imagine. The bolt of electricity that shot through her made her knees buckle, and she slipped to the ground. "Doctor to the bridge, medical emergency." Harry called as he knelt down at her side.

Meanwhile the Captain was frozen mid sentence on the huge view screen. Her words were aimed at the entire crew of the Voyager, and Tuvok could tell that she had been extremely distressed when she had made the recording. "Turn it off." Chakotay said, unable to bear the pain of Kathryn's image any longer.

The screen went blank, and Tuvok stood staring down at him. The Doctor appeared on the bridge with his portable medical kit. "What happened?" He said, quickly kneeling down beside a prone Seven of Nine.

"I don't know, she grunted and then collapsed." Harry said looking down at Seven.

She seemed to have fainted, and the Doctor quickly scanned her. "We had better get her down to sickbay." He said quietly.

"Tuvok, have that message transferred to the briefing room and assemble the senior officers." Chakotay said, and strode from the room.

The fact that he ignored Seven's fainting spell did not go un-noticed by Tuvok or the Doctor, but neither said anything as Seven was transported to the sickbay for monitoring.

Tuvok, Chakotay, Tom, Harry and B'Elanna sat in the briefing room. They had listened to Captain Janeway's tortured explanation of how she had carried the guilt of their being stranded in the Delta Quadrant for as long as she could bear. She felt that she had to leave the Voyager crew and she was sorry for any trouble that she had caused. B'Elanna was close to tears and Tom sat with his arm around her shoulders. Chakotay was clearly distressed and sat with his head in his hands. Harry too was close to tears, but there was no one to comfort him. Tuvok was the only person who seemed unmoved. "Captain Janeway also left individual messages for people." He said, and handed pads to Chakotay, Tom and B'Elanna.

Harry looked up expectantly but saw that there wasn't one for him. "This one is for Seven." Tuvok said, holding one for himself as well.

"I will read mine in private." Chakotay said, and left the room.

"When will we tell the crew?" Tom asked.

Tuvok looked at him. "You are talking as if the Captain is dead. I do not believe that was her intention. We should begin searching for the Delta Flier. We know the direction that she took, there is no reason to believe that she changed direction. We will continue to search." He said sternly, and Tom nodded.

Harry stood up. "I will get down to Astrometrics and see if there is anything on long range sensors. We can't be that far behind her." He said, his voice expressing a sense of optimism that he only partially felt.

Seven lay on the biobed. She hadn't spoken since she had been transported there, and the Doctor was beginning to worry. He had scanned her using every piece of equipment that he had, and he couldn't find anything wrong with her. But she lay, unresponsive to his words, staring up at the ceiling. "Seven come on, I wish you would tell me what is wrong." He said finally, dropping his hands down onto the consol in front of him.

The doors swooshed open and Tuvok walked in. He was carrying a padd and he looked concerned. "How is she Doctor?" Tuvok asked, looking down at Seven.

"I have no idea." The EMH replied.

Tuvok tapped the padd on his hand. "I have something for her. Captain Janeway left a message for her. Do you think you could give it to her when she is well enough to read it?" He asked, passing the padd across to the Doctor.

Seven sat up and took the padd from Tuvok before the Doctor could. She slid off the biobed and walked away from the two men. She was oblivious to their words, oblivious to everything except her pleasure at receiving a message from the Captain. She tapped the padd and the little screen flicked into life. Kathryn Janeway smiled back at her, and she touched the screen with one finger, gently tracing the outline of the Captain's face. Her heart was racing, and she felt stupidly happy at the sight of the older woman. 'So this was what it was like to be in love?" She thought to herself. She liked the sensations that she was experiencing and couldn't wait until she could see the Captain face to face. She tapped another key on the padd and the Captain's voice sent shivers up and down her spine. 'B'Elanna was right about those sensation and what they made you think about', she thought, resting on the edge of a biobed.

"Seven. Dear sweet Seven. I am so sorry." Kathryn began, and then looked away, her eyes filling with tears.

Seven's heart broke and her own tears stung the back of her eyes. She sniffed and touched the screen gently. "Seven I can never find the words to tell you how wonderful it has been to know you. You have meant more to me than any other person alive. I have so enjoyed watching you grow into a wonderful human being. I have enjoyed sparring with you, teaching you and learning from you. I care about you a great deal, and it makes me happy to know that you have found someone to love who loves you back. I hope that you and Commander Chakotay have a long and happy life together." Kathryn almost choked on her words as she spoke them, her mouth twisted and she frowned desperately trying to retain control of her emotions.

A single tear slipped down her cheek and Seven touched the screen wishing that she could hold the woman in real life, wishing that she could comfort her in her distress and make everything better again. She realized that she was crying as well when a fat tear splashed onto the screen and she wiped it away. "Seven I wish that things had been different. I wish that I had the courage to tell you before I left how much you have meant to me. I wish for so many things that can never be." She laughed ruefully. "All my life I have wished, and not once have my wishes come true, you would think that I would know better by now. But I do want you to know how much you have come to mean to me, and how proud I am of you Seven. I am so very proud of you. And I am so sorry." She finished quietly, unable to continue, and she stared into the screen, tears flowing down her face, her mouth and brow twisted in torment, and then the screen went blank.

Harry continued searching on long range sensors. He thought that he had detected the Delta Flier several times, but when he had looked harder there was nothing there. "I am sorry Commander, I can find no trace." He said apologetically.

Chakotay and Tuvok stood next to Harry in Astrometrics staring at the screen. "Scan again." Chakotay said, not willing to give up the search.

"Yes sir." Harry said, and tapped the commands into the sensor array again.

Tom was flying the Voyager as fast as she would go, they were pushing Warp 9.25, the maximum possibly velocity of the huge ship. He was heading in the same direction as the Captain had been headed, desperate to hear from Harry that they had the Delta Flier on sensors. The message that the Captain had left for him and B'Elanna had been brief, but had made both of them realize how much she had thought of them, and how much she cared about them, both as individuals and as a couple. Tom was determined to find her and bring her back into the family. Harry suddenly stared up at the screen. "I have found her." He said excitedly.

Chakotay and Tuvok stared intently at the screen, there was a definite signal. Harry quickly transmitted the co-ordinates to Tom, and Chakotay and Tuvok rushed up to the bridge. "How long until we intercept her?" Tuvok asked as he took his station.

"Twenty three minutes." Tom said, his face was set in a determined grin, as the distance between them and the Delta Flier shortened.

All the senior officers were staring intently at the screen as they approached the co-ordinates that Harry had identified as the location of the Delta Flier. Tom slowed the ship, dropping them out of warp speed as they approached, and they all looked around expectantly. There was nothing there. No flier, no planet, nothing. Just a cloud of floating debris." So where is she?" Chakotay asked angrily.

Harry shook his head. "I am reading that this is the last location of the Delta Flier, but there is only debris. The debris is all that is left of the Delta Flier." He finished, and then stared up at the screen.

The meaning is his words sank in slowly and there was a heavy silence on the bridge. "What do you mean?" Chakotay asked, stepping closer to the screen as if that would allow him to see better.

"I am saying that this debris *is* the Delta Flier." Harry said, his voice was barely above a whisper.

"No." Chakotay said, whirling around.

"No, you are wrong. Scan again." He commanded.

Harry complied with the order, but he knew that his third scan would tell them the same thing. The Delta Flier had been destroyed. "There is no sign of weapons fire." Tuvok said, checking the same data as Harry.

Chakotay whirled around to face him. "Don't tell me what there *isn't*!" He shouted.

Seven stepped onto the bridge and looked around her. "I want to know what happened here." Chakotay said looking around him.

The members of the bridge crew were still in shock and no one responded for a few seconds. Then Seven spoke. "She isn't dead." She said, with a level of certainty that couldn't be explained.

"I know that." Chakotay said, and then he crumpled into his seat.

"Find her." He said weakly.

Harry began scanning on long-range sensors, and Tuvok analyzed the readings from the debris field. Tom maneuvered the ship around so that they could beam the debris on board for analysis, and then headed down to the cargo bay with Tuvok. They scanned the debris, although there was nothing larger than a bolt to study. "It looks as if the ship self destructed." Tuvok said, punching buttons on his tricorder.

Tom was kneeling down beside a pile of debris sifting though it. "There is no biomatter here though." He said quietly.

Tuvok nodded. "No, but I expect that she, that, that any biomatter would have vaporized when the ship self destructed." Tuvok said, with difficulty.

Tom nodded. He picked up a computer node. "I wonder if we can get anything useful from this?" He asked, holding it up to Tuvok's inspection.

Seven stood in the Astrometrics lab staring intently at the screen. She couldn't believe that the Captain had gone. It was unthinkable that she would have taken her own life. Tuvok had managed to ascertain that it was the Flier's own self-destruct initiation that had destroyed it, and that there was indeed no biomatter associated with the debris. Seven tried to think how the Captain could survive such an event. The senior officer's had finally decided that they had to inform the crew that the Captain had gone.

They had assembled everyone in the recreation hall two hours previously and played her last message. There had been a great amount of distress and disbelief from the gathered crewmembers. Seven hadn't been able to watch the recording a third time, and she had slipped out of the back of the hall.

Tuvok had announced that they would be continuing to look for the Captain for another 24 hours and then they would reassess the situation. Seven was not satisfied with that, and had begun her own search. The padd with Janeway's last message to her was resting at her right hand as she furiously entered algorithm after algorithm into the computer, trying to analyze every variable, every possibility. She had scanned the area numerous times, and had found nothing to indicate the presence of the Captain. She sighed and looked down at the padd. The screen showed Kathryn Janeway smiling up at her, and a small thrill went through Seven's body. She knew that she had to find this woman and tell her that she loved her. Seven knew that she couldn't rest until she had found her and brought her back to the family again. She carefully put the padd back down, and continued with her analysis.

******************

Three days later the senior officers were assembled in the briefing room. Chakotay looked like he hadn't slept in three days, as did Harry, Tom looked slightly more rested. Tuvok and Seven were the only ones who didn't look ragged around the edges. "It has been three days since we found the debris. There is nothing to indicate that the Captain survived the blast, and we have found nothing on long-range sensors. I think the time has come to give up our search and accept the inevitable." Tuvok stated.

He had already had this discussion with Chakotay and knew that although the First Officer didn't agree with him, he knew that it was the only sensible course of action. "I do not think that is the best option." Seven stated staring at him.

Tuvok looked at her, and noticed that something about her had changed, but he could put his finger on it. "But Seven you know yourself, we have done everything that we can do to find her. What else do you suggest we do?" He asked.

Seven shook her head. "I don't know, but I do know we shouldn't just give up." She said sullenly.

No one else spoke, and Tuvok ended the meeting. They all filed out of the room leaving only Chakotay sitting staring into the distance. Seven walked away, her mind was whirling, and she knew that she couldn't just give up, but she had no idea what she could do. She walked down to Cargo Bay 2 and switched on her regeneration unit. She knew that sometimes regeneration helped her to resolve complex problems, and she hoped that this time would be one of them.

Eight hours later Seven stepped out of her alcove. She knew exactly what they had to do to find the Captain, and she headed up to the bridge. Once she was there she quickly realized that something was wrong. "What is going on?" She asked.

Tom turned to face her. "We are going home Seven." He said, and turned back to the helm.

Seven realized that they were traveling away from the site of the Delta Flier demise and she spun around to face Tuvok who was staring down at his station resolutely. "Tuvok?" She asked.

"We agreed Seven, we agreed to let go." Harry said, trying to explain to the Borg why they had decided to leave.

Seven stared at him, and then at Tuvok. She knew what she must do, and she left the bridge to execute her plan.

"Tuvok I am detecting an unauthorized launch." Harry said, as Seven took one of the remaining shuttle craft from the Voyager.

"Seven of Nine, return to the ship immediately." Tuvok called into the comm.

Seven ignored him and pointed the small craft away from the Voyager slipping into Warp drive before they could initiate a tractor beam. She had realized that if the Flier were traveling at Warp 9, then it would travel quite some distance between initiation of the self-destruct and the final destruction. She had calculated how far, and was headed to the co-ordinates of where Janeway had set off the sequence. She was hoping that when she got there she would find what she was looking for. She started scanning the region as she approached, and to her great satisfaction she found the evidence that she was looking for. Janeway hadn't died in the explosion; she had left the Flier in an escape pod after initiating the sequence.

Seven laughed out loud, they had been searching in completely the wrong place. She began to follow the faint plasma trail that the escape pod had left. Twenty minutes later she came upon a small M class planet that hadn't shown up on her earlier scans. A cursory scan revealed the presence of the Captain, and Seven entered orbit. She located the escape pod, and then entered the atmosphere just as Voyager dropped out of warp. "Seven of Nine prepare to beam aboard." Tuvok's voice called.

Seven ignored him and continued her descent.

Harry was busy scanning the planet surface. "Commander, I think the Captain is down there." He cried excitedly.

Tuvok looked up in surprised. He had been concentrating on retrieving Seven of Nine and he hadn't been taking any notice of the scans that the young ensign had been carrying out. Chakotay stood up. "Seven, we know she is down there, I will beam down to help you search." He said, preparing to go to the transporter room.

Tuvok started to follow him, but Seven's voice rang out. "Please Commander, let me go alone." She said, her voice was pleading, and Chakotay felt a pang of disappointment.

He knew how much he wanted to be the one to find the Captain and to bring her back to the ship. But he also realized that Seven needed to be more. "Ok, report back as soon as you know what is happening." He said, and Tuvok raised one eyebrow questioningly.

Chakotay shrugged and returned to his chair. Harry continued to monitor the scans, and Tom steered them into a high orbit around the small planet.

Seven landed her shuttle carefully, and after powering down the engines, she stepped out of the small craft. She had landed in a large grassy field. There were trees on all sides, and Seven looked around her. She didn't want to surprise the Captain, but at the same time she was almost desperate to find her.

She ran to the edge of the trees where the escape pod had come to a halt. She saw the skid marks on the ground showing that the pod hadn't landed gracefully, and she quickly scanned the area to look for Janeway. There was no sign of her, and so Seven began to scan the area. She moved into the woods, scanning as she went, looking around her at the beauty of the plants and animals that were watching her. She moved deeper into the trees, wondering if she was headed in the right direction, and then suddenly her tricorder picked up a signal. The Captain was ahead of her, and not very far. Seven walked forward. She was suddenly apprehensive. Her heart was racing, and she felt sweaty and unsure of herself. She patted her hair, wondering how she looked, and then thought how ridiculous it was to care how she looked at this point.

She continued to move through the trees. The undergrowth was becoming denser as she pushed on and she wondered how the Captain had managed to get through. There was no sign of her passage, and Seven was concerned that she was not headed in the right direction. Suddenly she saw a bright flashing light through the trees and moved towards it. She scanned at she went, her tricorder was picking up all sorts of readings, animals and birds hiding in the trees, some were moving around, others were stationary. Seven moved towards the flashing lights, unable to tell what it was that she was approaching. Then, as suddenly as they had begun, the trees ended and Seven stepped out into a clearing.

At the end of the clearing was a blue lake, the sun was shining off the water, creating the flashing lights. And there at the edge of the water was the Captain. Seven walked towards her. Her heart was racing and her thoughts were jumbled. She wanted to run, to close the distance between them quickly, and to scoop the smaller woman up in her arms and comfort her. She felt the now familiar tingling starting in her center and travel with speed around her body as she imagined them falling to the ground, kissing each other passionately. She started to hyperventilate and knew that she had to calm her thoughts.

Janeway suddenly looked around and Seven's heart stopped. She looked old. She looked sad, and she looked very disheveled. Janeway was grubby and her hair was a mess with leaves and bits of twig in it. Her uniform was dirty, and the sleeve was torn, Seven could see a bloody scratch on the arm revealed beneath, and she gasped.

Kathryn stood up. Seven was walking towards her. Tall, beautiful Seven. She looked upset about something, but Janeway could only think how beautiful she was. "Seven." She whispered.

"Captain." Seven replied.

"I should have known you wouldn't give up looking for me." The Captain said as Seven reached her.

Seven wanted to reach out and smooth way the worry lines on her Captain's face. She wanted to reach down and kiss away the tears, and most of all she wanted to take the smaller woman in her arms and soothe away her troubles. But she did none of that, she simply stood and looked.

Kathryn was so very tired. She had thought that she wanted to be alone. But once she had reached the small planet she realized that she wanted to be back on Voyager. There was no way off the planet, and all she could do was wait. Wait to be found. She had been there for 7 days already, and was worrying that the crew would never find her. She was almost starving, having only been able to find fruit to eat, and the water of the lake, although it looked clear, was strange to the taste and she had been reluctant to drink too much of it. And now here was Seven to rescue her. She started to cry.

Kathryn sank to her knees on the ground and cried. She cried for what she had lost, and she cried for what she had gained. She cried for what she had done, and she cried for what was yet to come. Seven stood watching her for a few seconds, and then she knelt down beside her. "Captain?" She said reaching out and touching the older woman's shoulder.

Janeway reached out to her and grasped her arm. Somehow they pulled each other together and were holding on to each other for dear life. Janeway cried until she could cry no more, and Seven just waited, holding her tightly and comforting her gently.

Kathryn finally stopped crying, and she leaned back wiping her eyes with one hand. "Seven I am so pleased to see you." She said, her voice was raw with emotion.

Seven didn't reply. Her heart was hammering in her chest and she wanted to tell the Captain that she loved her. "I made a mistake, and I have ruined everything." She said, and she turned away.

Seven reached for her shoulder. "No you haven't. No." She said softly.

"I can't command the Voyager again, not after this." Janeway said, sitting down heavily.

Seven reached out to her again. "Of course you can. You have been unwell. That is all. No one on the crew will think anything of it, other than being pleased to have you back in the family." She said, her hand resting on the Captain's shoulder.

Kathryn turned to face her. "Seven, you don't understand. I broke just about every rule in the book." She said, and fresh tears began to fall.

"But Captain, isn't it up to the ship's senior officer to punish you for your actions?" Seven said gently, wishing she had the words to comfort the older woman.

Kathryn shook her head and sniffed. "Come on, let me take you back to the ship. We can take things from there." Seven said.

Kathryn resisted briefly and then allowed Seven to help her to her feet. "I must look a mess." She said, smiling through her tears.

Seven smiled back. "Yes you do, but that is nothing that a hot bath can't cure." She said gently.

Janeway groaned. "A bath, oh you know how to torture a person." She said, and they made their way back through the trees.

As they approached the other side of the band of trees Seven realized that if she didn't speak soon that she would never have the courage to say what was in her heart. "Captain." She began.

Janeway looked back at her. "Seven, I am not your Captain at the moment, how about you call me Kathryn?" She said.

Seven stopped walking. Kathryn stopped and turned to face her. "What is it Seven?" She asked, seeing the look of confusion on the taller woman's face.

She had dreamed about that face, imagined what it would be like to kiss those full lips. Seven looked down. "Kathryn, you should know that Chakotay and I are no longer romantically involved." She said, and Kathryn's heart hammered in her chest.

"Oh?" She asked trying to sound nonchalant.

"It turns out that I am in love with someone else." Seven said, looking up finally.

Kathryn was looking at her expectantly. "I didn't realize that when I made my birthday wish, how much trouble that would cause." Seven said, and Kathryn smiled.

"Seven what are you talking about?" She asked.

"Captain, I am in love with you. And my birthday wish was to rescue you from a near death situation after which you would be eternally grateful and would fall into my arms." Seven said all in a rush.

Kathryn gasped. "Your birthday wish?" She asked.

"Well I didn't know it was you that I was in love with at the time, or that your near death situation would be quite so near death. But yes."

Kathryn stepped towards her. "So at what point do I fall into your arms?" She asked.

Seven could feel the heat radiating off the smaller woman, and her breathing increased. Her heart was racing and her mouth was dry. "I do believe that the sensations that I am experiencing are about to make my knees go weak." She said quietly.

Kathryn closed the distance between them and stood looking up at the taller woman. "Seven if you want to, you may take me in your arms now." She whispered.

Seven reached one hand out and touched the Captain's shoulder. Kathryn shuddered and closed her eyes. She leaned forward, resting her head on Seven's shoulder, feeling the other woman's breasts yielding under the pressure of her body, and then the comforting safety as the long arms of the woman that she loved with all her heart wrapped around her body and held her close.

******************

Epilogue

Four weeks later Kathryn sat in her quarters staring out of the window. The door chimed and she turned to face the room. "Enter." She said, and the doors swooshed open.

Seven walked in carrying a kodis kot board. "I bring entertainment." She said, and the door swooshed closed behind her.

"I am going nuts." Kathryn said, as Seven sat beside her on the sofa.

"Your confinement is over as of now." Seven said, reaching to massage Kathryn's shoulders.

"I am still not sure that Chakotay was right in confining me to my quarters for a month. I think my punishment should have been much more severe." She said, squirming under Seven's manipulation of her stiff muscles.

"He did what he thought was right. Stop complaining." She teased, tickling Kathryn's neck.

"Oh you are such a tease." Kathryn said turning her head and offering her mouth for a kiss.

Seven obliged, and they kissed passionately for several minutes. "Do you want to eat?" Seven asked quietly, stroking Kathryn's hair with one hand.

"Not food." Kathryn teased, leaning back and resting her head on Seven's shoulder.

"Neelix has organized a welcome back meal for you in the mess hall tonight, do you think you are up to it?" Seven asked.

Kathryn looked up. "Well I guess I have to face the crew at some point." She said, sitting up.

"What time did he say?" She asked, peering across the room at the clock on the wall.

"19.00 hours. We have a little time before then." Seven said, running her hand up Kathryn's back, then reaching around to grasp her breast, teasing the erect nipple with her fingers.

Kathryn groaned. "Oh Seven you certainly know how to tease a woman." She said, and leaned back again.

Just before 19.00 hours, Kathryn and Seven left the Captain's quarters and headed down to the mess hall. Kathryn hadn't walked the corridors of the ship for four weeks and she felt as though she had come home. Seven walked beside her, her presence a great comfort. "I would like to walk in on your arm Seven." Kathryn said, and Seven looked down at her.

"But that is not possible." She said, and Kathryn shook her head.

"It will be hard enough for us to have a relationship Seven, there is no way that we can be a couple in front of the rest of the crew." She said sadly.

Seven nodded. "I know, but you know what, I don't care how difficult it will be for us, I am prepared to do anything for you." She said, and quickly kissed the shorter woman on the side of the head.

Kathryn smiled. "Thank you Seven." She whispered.

They approached the door of the mess hall and Kathryn stopped. She inhaled deeply and looked up at Seven. The younger woman stepped in front of her and took her hands. "It will be ok." She whispered, and leaned down to quickly kiss Kathryn on the mouth.

Her lips lingered, and Kathryn could feel the love and passion that was being transmitted to her. She smiled again. "Thank you again." She whispered.

Seven smiled and nodded and turned to the door. She stepped aside to allow the Captain to enter the room first.

The doors swooshed open and the lights flashed in Kathryn's eyes. She was momentarily blinded, and then she saw the banner welcoming her back to the family. The entire crew was assembled in the mess hall, and when Kathryn finally stepped into the room they all began to clap. The applause became thunderous, and several people cheered. Kathryn was overcome, and she stepped forward to be greeted by her crew. Seven slipped into the room behind her, and moved around to stand beside Tom. "Welcome back Captain." Chakotay said, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

"And no hard feelings." He whispered.

Kathryn looked up at him and his eyes slid to where Seven was standing. She immediately understood his meaning, and blushed slightly. Tuvok stepped forward his hand extended in greeting. "Welcome back Captain." He said.

"Tuvok I am not sure." Kathryn began

"I am." Tuvok said, stopping her from saying anything further.

"We will talk about this some more." She warned him, and he nodded and stepped back again.

Neelix pushed forward, a huge cake on a tray in front of him. "Although it isn't your birthday you do get a cake." He said, grinning at her.

"And you get to make a wish." Naomi Wildman said excitedly.

"Oh do I?" Kathryn said leaning down to hug the small child.

Neelix lit the candles and Kathryn looked around her. She saw only smiles and expressions of welcome on her crew's faces, and she knew that she was about to cry. "Ok." She said, leaning down to blow out the candles.

"Make a wish." Naomi commanded and Kathryn smiled.

She looked up and saw Seven watching her intently. Kathryn wondered what more she could wish for, and then she bent down to blow out the candles. When she stood up again Seven was standing beside her. "What did you wish for Kathryn?" She asked.

"But if I tell you my wish won't come true."

"But if you don't tell me, how can I *make* it come true?"