Title

Don't Dream it - Be it

Scene I

< door chime >

Kathryn Janeway, Captain of the Federation Starship USS Voyager, looked up from the book of poetry she had spread across her lap towards the door, the source of the noise that signaled someone wanted to come into her quarters. "Come in." When Seven of Nine, Voyager's blond Astrometrics officer, stepped inside just enough for the door to close behind her, Kathryn sat up straighter. "Seven, is there something I can do for you?"

Seven scanned the room as her eyes quickly adjusted to the dimness. "Captain, I would like to talk with you."

/Talk?/ "Seven, is something wrong?" Kathryn straightened her shoulders, hoping Seven wouldn't notice it.

"I am functioning within normal parameters, Captain. I was wondering if we could..." Seven hesitated a moment, unsure of herself. "...talk."

Kathryn, hearing the uncertainty in Seven's voice, set her book aside and motioned for Seven to sit down. "Sit down, Seven."

"Thank you, Captain." Seven hesitantly sat down in one of the chairs in front of and off to the side of the couch, her knees primly together, hands folded in her lap.

"What would you like to talk about, Seven?" Kathryn pulled her legs closer to her, thankful she had decided to wear her robe, but painfully aware of the fact she wore no nightgown underneath it.

"I am unsure of the movie that has been playing in the Holodeck, Captain." Seven leaned back a fraction, attempting to imitate Kathryn's relaxed body language.

Kathryn smiled, thinking of the evening the senior officers had shared: The Rocky Horror Picture Show and then dinner in the Messhall. "What don't you understand about Rocky Horror, Seven?"

"I fail to see how a movie about transvestite aliens, one of which who attempts to make the perfect man, and showing a young couple hospitality is considered a 'Halloween movie'." Seven slanted her head slightly, the implant over her left eye allowing her to see things on many levels.

/That's Seven. Always to the point./ "Well, you see, Seven, Halloween began in ancient times, when that time of the year was considered the beginning of winter and the death of the God by many people. It was the day that the veil between the regular world and the underworld was thinnest and -"

"I know the origin of Earth's Halloween, Captain. I have researched the phenomenon of Halloween extensively, both on Earth and the appearance of it in many alien cultures, both in the Alpha Quadrant and the Delta Quadrant. Halloween, especially on Earth in the 20th century, was a time for children to dress up and receive candy. Originally people dressed up to scare away the evil spirits from the Underworld. Once the Movie Industry began, in the early 1900s, it was common for there to be scary movies shown, especially during the time directly before, and during, Halloween. I believe it was for the 'trick or treaters' and public to get 'psyched' for Halloween."

"That's right, Seven. What don't you understand about Rocky Horror?" Kathryn hid a smile, wondering why she always tried to teach Seven things when the younger woman was always one step ahead of her in research.

"I have seen Rocky Horror twice and read the script. I also watched other horror movies from the 20th century, such as the Freddy Krueger series, Edward Scissor Hands, The Exorcist, and 5 different remakes each of Bram Stoker's Dracula and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. While all were not scary to me, I understand how many of them could be considered scary by 20th century teens. Few of them were as funny or silly as the crew of Voyager saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show. If the point of Halloween movies are to be scary, why was The Rocky Horror Picture show so popular?"

"Well, Seven, that's a bit complicated. Rocky Horror originally failed in the theaters, until it was shown at midnight to what later became known as 'Freaks.' They started dressing up as characters, which led to others dressing up, especially during Halloween."

"And Rocky Horror Picture Show became popular because...?" Seven purposely let her voice trail off.

"Well, part of the reason it became so popular was because it is fun and silly. But Rocky Horror also had a lot of good messages in it. Don't be afraid to be yourself, or do what you want, no matter how another may see you. Another reason Rocky Horror became popular is because it allowed people to explore aspects of their sexuality which they couldn't in the 'regular' part of their lives. It gave them some freedom."

"I understand now. Thank you, Captain." Seven stood up, ready to leave.

"I'm glad I could help, Seven. I'll see you tomorrow night?"

Seven didn't attempt to hide the fact that she would prefer not to be at the party. "It is mandatory for the senior officers to be at the party, Captain. Of course you will."

"Not just the party, Seven; you also need to do something for the talent show."

"I do?"

"Yes, Seven. We've talked about this before. Even Tuvok is doing something at the talent show, though he won't tell anyone what it is. Apparently Harry thought it up."

"If Tuvok is willing to participate, Captain, then I will as well.. I must go decide on what I will do. Good night, Captain."

"Good night, Seven." Seven left, leaving Kathryn wondering just what Seven will decide on for the talent show. Standing, Kathryn put her book on one of the shelves and stepped into her bedroom. Taking off her robe, Kathryn blissfully slid between the cool sheets. "Computer, lights off."

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Scene II

"Hello, crew of Voyager! Welcome to the Halloween SENIOR OFFICERS Talent Show!! We have singing, dancing, magic, everything you can think of! All performed by the command crew of this vessel. This show is being taped, and you can get a copy for your own personal viewing. It's also being shown for the next week for anyone to re-watch it, or if they haven't seen it before. To begin tonight's festivities, here is the singing talents of our very own Chief Engineer B'Elanna Torres!" With that, Neelix, in a clown costume complete with a rainbow wig, stepped to the far side of the stage to pull back the dark blue curtains. The curtains opened to reveal B'Elanna sitting on a chair in the middle of the stage. When the spot light hit her, revealing that she was wearing a low cut red dress with thigh high slits on both sides and 4" red heels.

One of the audience wolf whistled, as taught by Tom Paris.

B'Elanna, ignoring the whistler, kept her head down as the first strains of the music filtered through the comm system and she began to sing.

How do you cool your lips, after a summer's kiss? How do you rid the sweat, after the body's bliss? How do you turn your eyes, from the romantic glare? How do you block the sound Of a voice you'd know anywhere?

B'Elanna lifted her head and looked at the audience as she continued.

Oh, I really should have known By the time you drove me home By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual good-byes By the chill in your embrace The expression on your face, told me Maybe, you might have some advice to give How to be insensitive, insensitive ooh, insensitive

How do you numb your skin, after the warmest touch? How do you slow your blood, after the body rush? How do you free your soul, after you've found a friend? How do you teach your heart It's a crime to fall in love again?

"Nah, it's not a crime, Torres. Come on, you can fall in love with me!" B'Elanna raised her eyes to look at Ensign Natalie Purvis, who said that remark. Her eyes swept up and down Ensign Purvis' face, which had turned beet red during B'Elanna's perusal. Pointedly, B'Elanna also let her eyes look over what else of Ensign Purvis' body she could see, which was a lot since Ensign Purvis was in the 2nd row. Without missing a beat, B'Elanna filed away her looks and a note to look for her later.

Oh, you probably won't remember me It's probably ancient history I'm one of the chosen few Who went ahead and fell for you I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch I thought that you might have some advice to give, How to be insensitive

As the music faded, B'Elanna's head sunk down again, her arms curling around her body. The lights faded and the curtain slowly closed. Neelix stepped in front of the curtain again. "Our Chief Engineer!" The audience continued applauding. "Next we have a magic show from the Master Magician Parisini!" Neelix stepped to the side once more, pulling the curtains open.

"Thank you, Thank you, Mr. Neelix! Well, what a crowd we have here." Tom Paris, A.K.A. the Master Magician Parisini, stepped forward as the curtains fell back. Tom was dressed in a 20th century tuxedo, complete with top hat, and a red lined black cape. "Well, what a beautiful woman we have here! A woman as beautiful as you deserves some flowers!" Tom gave a flick of his right wrist and gracefully pulled a small bouquet of fake flowers from under his left sleeve, though the crowd didn't see it coming from his sleeve, of course. With a bow, he presented them to a blushing Ensign.

"Now is time for the trick that all magicians must master. I will put this carrot," Tom held it up "into my hat, along with this book" Tom held up a book on rabbits "and wave my wand over this hat, say the magic words, and pull a rabbit out of my hat! I know what you're thinking.. 'He'll just have one transported in,' right? Wrong! For this trick, I will be behind a force field, which Mr Neelix will activate. No transporters used at all!" Tom stepped next to the table. "Activate the transporter -- OOPS I mean activate the force field, Mr Neelix! Freudian slip, you know." Once the field was activated, Tom took of his hat, showed it to the audience, and placed the book and carrot inside. Covering it with a piece of fabric, Tom waved his wand over it. "Abracadabra!" Tom looked inside, then at the audience with a worried face. "You know, I don't think I can do this alone. Will you help? On three." Tom replaced the fabric over his hat. "One, two, three. ABRACADABRA!" Cautiously, Tom lifted the fabric. "It worked! It worked!" At the audiences laughs, Tom cleared his throat. "Well, of course it worked. I'm a Master Magician, remember? And here it is!" With that, Tom lifted a bright orange stuffed bunny rabbit out. "What, you thought that I'd change them into a *real* rabbit? I'm a magician, not a miracle worker!"

"Now, people, what would you like to see next? A card trick? Levitation? A Great Escape?" Not waiting for an answer, Tom called over to Neelix. "I need a volunteer from the audience." A few people raised their hands, but Tom picked one of the ones who didn't. "Come on up, Megan Delaney!" Pulling a deck of cards off the table behind him, Tom shuffled them and fanned them "Pick a card, any card when I close my eyes. Then show it to the audience and put it back into the deck. Anywhere in the deck." With that, Tom closed his eyes. Megan pulled a card from the deck and showed it to the audience after seeing it herself. Carefully, Megan put it back into the deck.

"You can open your eyes, now Master Magician Parisini."

"Ah, yes. Thank you, Ms. Delaney!" Tom shuffled the cards quickly and pulled a card off the top. "Was your card the Ace of Diamonds?"

"No."

"What about the Ten of Hearts?"

"No."

"Three of Clubs? Eight of Spades? Ten of Diamonds? Queen of Hearts?" As Megan responded negatively to each of Tom's tries, Tom looked a little more worried. After the last time, Tom held up a hand and addressed the audience. "Well, my good fans, it looks like my Magician days are over! Say goodbye to the Master Magician Parisini!!" With that, Tom's hands went up and a cloud of grey smoke rose from the ground. When the smoke disappeared, The Master Magician Parisini was gone. The curtains closed soon after that.

"Well, that was certainly...unusual. Let's give another round of applause for the Master Magician Parisini, where ever he is!" When the audience had quieted down again, Neelix cleared his throat. "Next we have the singing talents of our very own Doctor!" Neelix opened the curtains once again, to reveal the Doctor in a pair of worn jeans, satin shirt left open to reveal an expanse of bare chest, and a pair of standard boots. When the music started, some of the audience members familiar with the song began clapping, snapping, or stomping their feet to the beat of the music. All through the song, the Doctor danced around the makeshift stage to the beat of the music, having the time of his life.

I've got sunshine On a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May.

Well, I guess you'll say What can make me feel this way? My girl. (My girl, my girl) Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl) I've got so much honey The bees envy me. I've got a sweeter song Than the birds in the trees.

Well, I guess you'll say What can make me feel this way? My girl. (My girl, my girl) Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)

Ooooh, Hoooo. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey.

I don't need no money, Fortune or fame. I've got all the riches, baby, One man can claim.

Well, I guess you'll say What can make me feel this way? My girl. (My girl, my girl) Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)

Talkin' bout my girl. I've got sunshine on cloudy day With my girl. I've even got the month of May With my girl.

Talkin' bout, talkin' bout my girl . . .

The song ended to the Doctor raising his arms up in the air, looking towards the ceiling as he sung the last lines; giving the appearance of telling the world about his girl. The curtains fell closed on that scene. "I don't know about you, people, but I for one never knew the Doctor could sing anything but opera! Next, we have another singer, Seven of Nine. Apparently, she's been practicing a new singing style..." Neelix pressed his comm link. "Seven, we're ready for you." Instantly, music partially creepy music started and Seven of Nine walked in from the farthest door. Instead of her normal hair do, she had her blond hair teased until it was in a wild disarray, creating the effect of a halo around her head.

How do you do I see you've met my faithful handyman He's a little brought down Because when you knocked He thought you were the candy man Don't get strung out by the way that I look Don't judge a book by its cover I'm not much of a man By the light of day But by night I'm one hell of a lover

One of the male crew members yelled out from the back of the room "I'd rather not take your word on that! Can you prove it to me tonight?" Seven responded to that by looking at him and dropping the act for a second, raising her eyebrow.

While singing this, Seven walked up the aisle towards the stage. Once she reached it, Seven turned and threw off her long cape, revealing an outfit similar to Dr. Frank-N-Furter's in The Rocky Horror Picture Show: a black leather corset, with appropriate modifications made, of course, black underwear, garters, fishnet stockings, 4" heels, drag queen makeup.. The works. As she finished the rest of the song, Seven danced around the stage and the dance floor, where the audience was seated.

I'm just a sweet Transvestite From Transsexual Transalvania.

Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound You look like you're both pretty groovie Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie

You got caught with a flat Well how about that Well babie's don't you panic By the light of the night It'll all seem alright I'll get you a satanic mechanic.

I'M JUST A SWEET TRANSVESTITE FROM TRANSSEXUAL TRANSALVANIA

Seven prepared to get up in the middle of the next verse. After getting up, She went to the crewmen who had called out and danced in front of him.

Why don'tcha stay for the night (Computer - "night") Or maybe a bite (Computer - "bite") I could show you my favorite obsession

After a second of dancing, she sat down, straddling his lap and licked her lips. Lifting his dark blond air with a finger tipped with a long nail painted in blood red polish, she opened her mouth slightly and her tongue darted out again.

I've been making a man With blond hair and a tan and he's good for relieving my tension.

Seven quickly got up and made her way back to the stage, singing and dancing again.

I'M JUST A SWEET TRANSVESTITE FROM TRANSSEXUAL TRANSALVANIA

Seven once again walked to the door, leaving her cape on the stage. Turning right before she reached the door, Seven continued.

So come up to the lab and see what's on the slab I see you shiver with anticipation But maybe the rain Is really to blame So I'll remove the cause but not the symptom.

With that, Seven backed out of the door, which quickly shut behind her. Neelix stepped forward as the curtain closed to the clapping of the audience; it was a mix of polite clapping and genuine; they obviously didn't know exactly what to think. "That definitely wasn't expected! But let's give her another round of applause. Next in our talent show is Lt. Commander Tuvok and Ensign Harry Kim. The curtain opened, as Harry Kim walked out on stage, his hand on Tuvok's back. Sitting down, he 'positioned' Tuvok so Tuvok was sprawled on Harry's lap.

'How's everyone tonight?" Harry asked, his hand still on Tuvok's back.

"Things are definitely looking up, Harry!" Joe Carey, one of the engineers, yelled from the middle of the crowd.

"That's great to hear." Setting Tuvok aside, Harry stood up. "Like my costume? I designed it myself." Harry was wearing an old fashioned tuxedo with black sequins down the lapels. Paired with it, he had a tomato red 1940s style dress shirt with ruffles and black and white shoes.

"Yeah, we can tell! Bad taste, as always." Jenny Delaney shouted out from the back. (She'd already had too much to drink.) The rest of the audience snickered in appreciation.

Harry, unfazed by the insults and laughter, turned back. Putting his hand on Tuvok's back, he 'lifted' him up. "Like my doll? I found the pattern in the replicator."

"Isn't it supposed to look like you, Harry?"

"Yeah.. But I liked this look better. Shall we get on with the show?"

"A Vulcan dressed up in that outfit is show enough!" Tuvok was dressed in a pink ballerina's dress with a crown and silver wand (Obviously, the outfit was picked out by Harry).

Tuvok, silent until now, spoke in a high falsetto. "It is better than any of the outfits you wear, Crewman."

The crewman, a tall well-built Ensign who prided himself on his good looks and popularity, sat up straighter. "Harry, are you going to let your doll talk to me that way?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders and lifted one hand out. "Don't look at me, he has a mind of his own. Maybe you should apologize?"

"Me? Apologize to a doll?"

Tuvok once again chimed in. "Yes, yes apologize to the doll. Apologize to the doll." Tuvok's voice went deeper, a growl entering it. "Or else you'll regret it."

"Lulu! Behave yourself." To the audience, Harry apologized. "I'm really sorry. I thought all the kinks were worked out. Obviously, they aren't."

"Kinks? Kinks? I'll give you kinks!" Tuvok's falsetto voice was raising with each word.

"Lulu!"

"All right. I will stop. I apologize to everyone in the audience."

"Much better, Lulu." Harry ignored the comment Carey threw out about Harry knowing how to tame wild cross-dressing Vulcan steeds. "What shall we do first for the audience?"

"How about a song? I know just the one." Tuvok cleared his throat." "I'm a little tea pot, short and stout. Here is my handle," Tuvok lifted his right arm as Harry interrupted.

"No, no, no, no. Lulu, it has to be a funny song, not a children's song!"

"Oh. I misunderstood." Tuvok cleared his throat in an exaggerated manner. "I'm a little acorn brown, lying on the cold, hard ground, everyone steps on me, that's why I'm cracked, you see. I'm a nut (click, click), I'm a nut (click, click), I'm a nut, I'm a nut, I'm a nut (click, click)."

"Lulu!"

"What?"

"It was supposed to be a funny song!"

Jenny Delaney spoke up again. "Like a Vulcan knows how to be funny!"

Joe responded to Jenny's comment quickly. "Jenny! Look at how he's dressed! Obviously they do know how to be funny; they just don't want to!"

Tuvok, ignoring them, continued. "That is a funny song."

"Says who?"

"Says me. You just don't know how to be funny, Mr. Harry Kim."

"I don't know how to be funny?!?" Harry's eyes widened in shock.

"At least you admit it." If it was possible for a Vulcan, any Vulcan, but especially one dressed in a pink ballerina's outfit, to look smug, Tuvok would look it at that moment.

"I do not!"

"But you already did."

Giving up, Harry sighed. "Should we tell them a joke?" Harry jerked his head to the audience.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Lulu, come on! We have to do something."

"I don't care. I don't want to tell a joke."

"Than we'll do something else. Do you have any ideas?"

"Yes."

Harry waited. "Well, tell me!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's a surprise. I have to show you."

"Okay, then show me."

"I will." With that, Tuvok jumped up from Harry's lap and ran to get an old fashioned water gun. Holding it like a decompression rifle, Tuvok ran through the crowd towards the exit spraying everyone, but paying particular attention to Jenny Delaney and Joe Carey. Running out the door, you could hear his voice, still in high falsetto. "I warned ya you'd regret it and that I was a nut!!!" with a maniac giggle.

Harry, who had been sitting calmly on the stage, got up to run after him. "I better go catch him. Who knows what Lulu could get into?!? Thanks for watching!!" With that, Harry slipped out the door, immediately getting sprayed from the hallway on the way out.

"Well, that was fun, wasn't it, everyone?" Said Neelix as he dabbed his eyes. "I certainly didn't expect those last two acts! They were kept secret from everyone. Last, but definitely not least, is Commander Chakotay and Captain Janeway!" The curtain opened to reveal Kathryn Janeway lying on a metal table in the center and to the back of the stage.. From the left came a voice..

I was working in the lab late one night When my eyes beheld an eerie sight For my monster from his slab began to rise And suddenly to my surprise

Chakotay, dressed in a 1970s style shirt with a white lab coat and regular pants and wearing glasses walked from the side. As he walked around the table singing, Kathryn, made up as a monster, rose from the table and started singing the chorus.

He did the mash (Kathryn) He did the monster mash (Chakotay) The monster mash It was a graveyard smash He did the mash It caught on in a flash He did the mash He did the monster mash

Kathryn stopped singing and dancing as Chakotay continued singing, giving the drooped look of a puppet whose strings have been cut.

From my laboratory in the castle east To the master bedroom where the vampires feast The ghouls all came from their humble abodes To get a jolt from my electrodes

Kathryn once again started dancing 'The Monster Mash' as she sang the chorus. The rest of the audience joined in, singing with both her and Chakotay.

They did the mash (Kathryn) They did the monster mash (Chakotay) The monster mash It was a graveyard smash They did the mash It caught on in a flash They did the mash They did the monster mash

The zombies were having fun The party had just begun The guests included Wolf Man Dracula and his son

The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds The coffin-bangers were about to arrive With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"

They played the mash They played the monster mash The monster mash It was a graveyard smash They played the mash It caught on in a flash They played the mash They played the monster mash

Once again, Kathryn stopped dancing, this time dropping to one knee on the floor as she lowered her head, as Chakotay continued singing.

Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring Seems he was troubled by just one thing He opened the lid and shook his fist And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?"

Kathryn and Chakotay once again sang together, crew joining in. This time, however, some of the crew members stood up from their chairs and tried dancing to the Mash.

It's now the mash (Kathryn) It's now the monster mash (Chakotay) The monster mash And it's a graveyard smash It's now the mash It's caught on in a flash It's now the mash It's now the monster mash

Yet again, Kathryn stopped dancing, though she did begin creeping towards the side of the stage, as Chakotay sang a verse alone.

Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band And my monster mash is the hit of the land For you, the living, this mash was meant too When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you

Singing together, they completed the song. The youngest crew member and Bridge Assistant, Naomi Wildman, was also on the stage, as Kathryn had pulled her up onto the stage while Chakotay had been singing his last solo. Naomi, dressed as a 20th century Anime character, Sailor Moon, danced the Mash with Kathryn, her hair waving and threatening to come out of the two high pigtailed buns it was pulled up in.

Then you can mash Then you can monster mash The monster mash And do my graveyard smash Then you can mash You'll catch on in a flash Then you can mash Then you can monster mash

The song ended with Kathryn, Chakotay, and Naomi dancing around the stage, doing 'The Mash.' On the last note, all three froze and the curtains closed. Neelix stepped up onto the stage in front of the curtains. "Wonderful!" When the clapping died down, Neelix spoke up again. "Everyone in the talent show, please assemble on the stage for a final applause." Neelix waited five minutes before opening the curtains once more. Assembled on stage was the entire Senior staff, still in costume. They easily joined hands and bowed to the applause. After they all bowed twice, Kathryn stepped forward and spoke.

"I hope you enjoyed this, everyone! We certainly enjoyed doing it for you!" As she said that, Kathryn looked down the line to Tuvok and Harry and raised an eyebrow. Getting no response to her silent question, she shrugged and looked back to the audience, clearing her throat. "See you at the party!!!"

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