Chapter 9 - Broken
"She’s in cardiac arrest," the Doctor said with alarm as he looked between the
Captain and the tricorder.
Seven and B’Elanna emerged from the observation room, clearly stunned. Their
numbness quickly faded as they watched with horror as the Captain’s body start
to twitch and jerk violently.
"Kahless," blurted B’Elanna, realizing with disgust that this nightmare was not
over yet.
"What is happening to her?!?" Seven demanded, looking at the EMH.
"The device is trying to save her," the Doctor said with amazed interest,
reviewing his tricorder.
"Doctor?!?" Chakotay asked, feeling as helpless as the others as they watched
their Captain’s body continue to thrash in the chair. The device didn’t want to
let its power source die.
Seven looked over to Tuvok pleadingly, slightly comforted to see him quietly
approach the Captain. He lifted up a hypo and injected her before the Doctor
understood what he was doing. A sudden jolt of energy crackled and shot towards
Tuvok, sending him flying back into the wall. He slumped down to the floor,
unconscious, as a wisp of smoke rose from his charred uniform.
"Tuvok!" Seven said, immediately at his side, checking his vitals. "He is alive,"
she announced with relief, looking at the Doctor, who was angry and frustrated
as he read his medical tricorder.
"He injected her with a poison! If we were trying to kill her, we could have
done that a long time ago!" the Doctor snapped furiously.
The Captain’s body suddenly stopped thrashing as odd sounds started to emanate
from the device. The tendrils that had been feeding off her, hissed and clicked,
one-by-one, before falling away from the now-spoiled source. The light in the
room began to flicker then dim.
As Chakotay turned on emergency lighting, he asked. "Doctor, can we move her?"
Seven didn’t wait for an answer, swiftly passing him to take possession of the
Captain and lift her from the vile chair. Neither Chakotay nor the Doctor dared
argue with the determined woman.
"Why ask me?" the Doctor muttered sarcastically, as he knelt by Tuvok and
scanned him with a frown.
"Seven of Nine to Voyager. This is a medical emergency. Four to beam directly to
Sickbay," Seven said evenly, promptly dematerializing with her precious cargo
and the Doctor, with his Vulcan patient.
"B’Elanna, we need to get the backup grid on line," Chakotay anxiously called
out. "We have no idea what the device might . . . ." Chakotay said, interrupted
by ominous rumblings from within the computer center. The device’s now-free
tendrils started to twitch and reach out blindly, thirsty for new energy
sources.
"Watch out!" Chakotay yelled to B’Elanna, who barely missed a flailing tendril
as she tried to connect the backup power conduits. The device seemed to shudder
and groan.
"Commander Chakotay, this is Voyager," Ensign Kim’s voice came over Chakotay’s
comm badge. "We are picking up seismic activity, originating from the device."
"Are you picking up any increases in the energy signature?" Chakotay asked as
the room shook again.
"Whoa!" B’Elanna blurted with alarm, dodging another hungry tendril, and dove to
the floor. She crawled to the connection and prayed their plan would work.
"No, sir," Harry responded, providing some comfort to the Executive Officer.
Completing the connection, there was an odd, high-pitched noise, as the device
fought the foreign energy.
"I really think we ought to get out of here," B’Elanna called out anxiously as
she jumped away from another tentacle that desperately reached out for a
biological source.
"Belay that, we are seeing an exponential . . . !" Harry amended urgently.
"Voyager! Beam us out!" Chakotay ordered.
***
When Chakotay and B’Elanna returned to the bridge, Harry stood from the command
chair and returned to Ops.
"Report," Chakotay said, taking command.
Tom looked down at his scanners as B’Elanna went to her station. "The device is
continuing to fight the alternate power grid," Tom said.
Chakotay looked worried. "LT Torres, what is the status of the power grid?"
"The dilithium crystals are still intact; they are withstanding the rapid power
transients and the seismic tremors," B’Elanna said with relief. "And the effects
are starting to diminish," she noted with surprise. "I think . . . it worked,"
she said with cautious optimism, looking at Chakotay, who nodded absently.
"Harry, you’ve got the Con. I’m going to sickbay."
"Aye, Sir."
As she watched Chakotay leave the bridge, B’Elanna noticed Tom looking at her
oddly. "What?" she asked.
Tom smiled weakly. "Must have been . . . exciting, down there," he said with a
wince.
"A bit too exciting," she said, absently glancing at the turbo lift with concern
for her Captain and her best friend.
***
"How are they?" Chakotay said anxiously as he entered Sickbay and approached the
biobeds where his Captain and Chief of Security lay unconscious. Seven stood,
silently staring at her critically injured Captain. He winced at the sight of
the Captain, now under a medical dome which kept her alive. From one device to
another, he thought with a frown.
"As well as can be expected, I suppose," the Doctor said sarcastically. "The
poison to her system had accelerated deterioration of her brain functions. It’s
a wonder I could save her."
"Doctor, I’m not going to say I’m happy about being kept in the dark about this.
But I have to say, poisoning the Captain when Tuvok did may have been the only
thing that could have freed her and saved her life."
The Doctor looked at him with a displeased face. "It may have saved her life,
but I’m not sure what kind of life that will be."
"Meaning what?" Chakotay asked with alarm.
"She may not respond and I may have to keep her on life support indefinitely. Or
she may respond but have brain damage," the Doctor said bluntly.
"Are those the only options?" Chakotay said, startled. He looked at Kathryn with
concern.
"No, they are not," Seven said tersely, finally gazing at them with an air of
defiance. "I am confident the Doctor’s use of my nanoprobes will sufficiently
counter the effects of the poison. Kathryn is strong. She will get through
this," Seven said, daring them to argue.
Chakotay was glad she was on their side, certain no one would ever want to be an
enemy of Seven of Nine. And he was pleased by her unwavering loyalty to Kathryn,
suspecting she was going to need every bit of Seven’s strength to recover.
"There is a chance," the Doctor allowed, not as confident.
Seven sighed angrily and focused on Kathryn with such intensity it seemed she
was willing her nanoprobes to work more efficiently, Chakotay thought with a
wince.
"How is Tuvok?" Chakotay asked the Doctor.
"With his robust Vulcan physiology, he should be up and around within a few
hours. But I might make him stay a few days . . . just to be sure," the Doctor
said with a thin smile.
Chakotay frowned. "I’m going to need him as soon as he’s better," he said and
quickly added. "Notify me of any changes."
"Of course," the Doctor said with a heavy sigh.
***
Tom entered the mess hall, finding it buzzing with uneasy discussion about the
condition of the Captain and fate of the Uttuskan Ambassador and her assistants.
Tom spotted B’Elanna, sitting at a table. Her shoulders were slumped and a
pensive look etched on her face. Something was definitely consuming her
thoughts, he considered with a frown, knowing she was one to keep things inside
until she exploded. And that was never a good thing, he considered with a
grimace.
"Hey, how are you . . . really?" Tom asked softly as he joined her at the table
and sat down.
"Great," B’Elanna said flatly, sipping her juice and staring out the windows at
the stars.
Tom knew enough not to call an upset Klingon a liar and tried a different
tactic. "The Uttuskan people seem to be very happy about what you did . . .
giving them independence from "the Provider."
B’Elanna shrugged, picking up her fork and started poking her food. "It was not
my idea. I would have let them rot," she said bluntly, then felt guilty, knowing
that would not be what Captain Janeway would want, even after everything she
went through.
"Yeah, well, you still helped them," he said, then smiled weakly. "Even if they
didn’t deserve it," he offered, getting a grunt. He took a deep breath and tried
to engage her in conversation again. "I knew it was exciting down there but I
didn’t know how much - Chakotay said that device went after you," he said gently
with a wince, knowing something was really bothering her.
"It missed," she sighed with a shrug, continuing to poke at her food with a
fork.
"Thankfully," he said softly.
B’Elanna looked up from her food and eyed Tom critically, searching for his
sincerity. Instead of his frequent joking or mirth, she saw a startlingly
serious expression on his face. He really meant it, she concluded with surprise.
"That’s not what’s bothering you, is it?" he said, eyeing her closely.
"Tom, we’ve been played for fools and our Captain is in sickbay and may not make
it. And now, we are going out of our way to help them be independent, when I’d
rather unload a few dozen photon torpedoes on them for the hell she went
through! Of course I’m bothered!" She spat angrily bending the fork in her hand.
"B’Elanna, we had no other options than to use the negative setting. The Captain
will understand," Tom said with surprising insightfulness, knowing she had been
in the observation room and operated the switch.
She winced slightly before gruffly announcing "I’m going back to engineering,"
and left.
Tom sighed, looking at the bent fork on her tray.
***
The Doctor sighed, watching Seven continue to stare at Captain Janeway. This was
not helping either of them. "Seven, I recommend you regenerate. You’ll need your
energy when she finally does wake."
"If I need to rest, I will sleep here. I will not leave her side," Seven vowed,
looking at him with determined blue eyes.
"Well, that’s better than I had expected," the Doctor admitted begrudgingly with
a sigh, still not convinced it the best solution. "I happen to have a bed for
you. Thankfully, business has been slow lately. Care to test out the
accommodations now??" He asked, eyeing her, knowing she could benefit from a
nap.
Seven frowned.
***
"You have no idea what you have done!" Dre Gatta hissed at Tuvok as he escorted
her with a firm hand on her arm. Her two assistants trailed behind under the
guard of two armed security officers.
"On the contrary; we are keenly aware of what we have done. We did not give up
as you had expected," Tuvok said as they approached the transporter.
"You’ve ruined everything. You’ve ruined our lives!" She cried, squirming in his
unrelenting grip.
"There is a large percentage of the Uttuskan population that disagrees. They are
celebrating their freedom from the Provider," he said, then nodded to the
transporter chief, who began their transport
As they materialized on the planet surface, the former Ambassador grew more
agitated. "They are fools," she hissed with disgust as she saw four Uttuskan
guards approach with the Prime Minister and Chakotay. Tuvok nodded to the woman,
whose shock of gray hair complemented her handsome face.
"Prime Minister, Commander," Tuvok said, nodding at each.
"Take them to confinement," the Prime Minister said dismissively, not bothering
to acknowledge the resigned assistants or agitated former Ambassador.
"You have destroyed our heritage!" Dre Gatta cried out as she was taken away.
"What will happen to her?" Tuvok asked, watching the Ambassador and her guards
disappear into a building. He knew Captain Janeway would want to know
eventually.
"She and her accomplices will face charges and likely spend their lives in
confinement," the Prime Minister said and looked a Chakotay with great distress.
"Once again, I must tell you how deeply sorry my people are for the actions of
these individuals. We knew we would need to change our ways but we had no idea
that some had decided to break the law and use unwilling providers. I can not
begin to express my horror at this whole situation."
Chakotay nodded and remained silent, not sure what else to say. Although, he
considered Kathryn would have said something fitting; she was a seasoned
diplomat.
"We have never had off-worlders attend our legal proceedings; however,
considering the injury to your Captain and your generosity to help us become
independent in spite of those injuries, I would be honored if you bore witness,"
the Prime Minister said, looking at him with hopeful eyes.
"We are honored by the invitation, Prime Minister," Chakotay said uncomfortably.
"But we are anxious to return to our journey home," he added, not wanting to
offend the leader.
"I understand," she said with slight disappointment. "I hope when your Captain
gets better, she knows not all Uttuskans are monsters," the older woman said
with clear distress.
"We will extend your personal regrets to the Captain and ensure she understands
your people have brought the individuals responsible for her injury to justice,"
Tuvok interjected to the relief of Chakotay, who nodded absently, hoping they
actually got the chance.
***
With Voyager back on course for home, Chakotay noticed an improvement in ship
morale. However, he worried how long that would last as days continued to pass
and their Captain remained in a coma.
At the senior staff meeting, Chakotay sat down in Kathryn’s chair and sighed,
preferring Kathryn to sit there. It struck him as rather ironic that when he
first agreed to become the Executive Officer to Captain Janeway, the former
Maquis captain bristled at the notion of no longer being the one in charge. Now,
having been in the Delta quadrant for many years, he wondered why he would have
ever wanted the job. He had to acknowledge Janeway’s insight into people and
skill at diplomacy, not to mention an incredible steel will, brought them
together and made them a successful crew. He doubted he would have been able to
accomplish what she did with the success she had. He was suited for and enjoyed
his second-in-command position to Captain Janeway. But right now, he didn’t have
the luxury of working behind the scenes to make things run smoothly; the ship
needed strong leadership right now - from him.
"According to B’Elanna’s report, our supply of dilithium crystals will be
exhausted in one month," Chakotay said with a frown, looking at the staff. Three
seats were empty, his, the Doctor’s, and Seven’s. But he knew exactly where they
had been for days.
"We can extend our supply to last a little over two, if we aggressively cut back
on energy consumption now," B’Elanna offered.
"Which, we should do," Chakotay agreed, getting nods from the staff. "Harry,
have you completed your scan for the potential dilithium crystal sites?"
Harry shifted uncomfortably as he looked around the room of expectant faces.
"I’m working on it."
Chakotay sighed with frustration. "We need to get Seven back to work, don’t we?"
"Commander, I’ll get it done by the end of the shift," Harry quickly said, not
wanting to bother Seven.
"I will assist him," Tuvok volunteered.
Chakotay frowned. It was odd how much they relied on the former Borg, who he had
not wanted on the ship; another insight by Captain Janeway, who somehow knew how
valuable Seven would become to them . . . and her. He absently wondered how long
Janeway had harbored romantic feelings for the tall blonde.
"I’ll speak with her," B’Elanna quickly volunteered before Chakotay could say
anything. He eyed her and nodded with gratitude. He really didn’t feel like
getting into a confrontation with an emotional Borg; especially one who didn’t
like him very much.
***
After the staff meeting, B’Elanna went to sickbay, not exactly sure how to
convince Seven to leave the Captain’s side; she knew the former-Borg would deem
work as "irrelevant" compared to the Captain. Although, she had to admit that
she also had difficulty focusing on work when the Captain’s recovery was still
questionable. When she entered sickbay, she was surprised to find the lights
dimmed and Seven reclining on a biobed. She froze, not wanting to disturb her.
"Was there something you needed, LT?" Seven asked, turning her head towards the
Chief Engineer.
"Uh, sorry to wake you," B’Elanna said with a wince.
"You did not. I was merely lying down so the Doctor would stop bothering me,"
Seven stated, getting up.
"Ah. But if you need to regenerate, you’ll just sleep here, right?"
"Correct," Seven said. Her optical implant rose with curiosity. "Why do you
ask?"
"Well, your alcove sucks up a lot of energy and we are cutting back," B’Elanna
said. "The Doctor is currently offline too?" she asked with interest, looking
around sickbay.
"Yes," she answered hesitantly.
"Good. I guess everyone is getting the message to conserve energy," she said
with a shrug, looking at the Captain. "That should help keep the Doctor out of
your hair too," B’Elanna suggested with a smirk, getting a frown from the
blonde, who looked down at the Captain uneasily.
Seven did not like the idea of taking the Doctor offline for long periods to
conserve energy. She eyed B’Elanna critically. "I received no such message. And
our supply of dilithium crystals should be sufficient to last for over eight
months," Seven challenged confidently.
"Not after we gave dilithium to the Uttuskans for their grid," B’Elanna noted.
"I failed to calculate the impacts of our ... donation," Seven said with
concern, her face hardening at her latest failure.
"Hey, we are all distracted and busy. And it’s not like we are in extremis yet.
We’ve got about a month with aggressive conservation protocols. I’m sure Harry
will find some deposits somewhere before we run out," B’Elanna said.
Seven frowned. "You should not have waited to inform me of this. I will route
the Astrometrics computer to the Doctor’s office and assist with the search,"
Seven said surprising B’Elanna, who didn’t expect it to be that easy.
"Oh. Well, we weren’t sure you’d want to be distracted," B’Elanna said
hesitantly.
"Lieutenant, I still am able and desire to assist the crew. However, I require
to be near her," Seven said firmly, in a tone leaving no room for debate.
"I understand. Uh, Chakotay does too. Thanks, Seven," B’Elanna said with a
relieved smile that faltered when she glanced at the Captain.
Chapter 10 - Missing Pieces
"I don’t know what you did, B’Elanna, but within a day, Seven has found three
potential sources for Dilithium crystals," Chakotay said as the Chief Engineer
entered the ready room.
"She had incentive," B’Elanna said vaguely. "So what did you want to talk to me
about?"
"The reports from you and Seven on what happened," he said.
"What about them?" She asked, shifting uncomfortably.
"Well, Seven hasn’t submitted one yet and yours is . . . not the usual detailed
report I usually get," he said cautiously.
"Dammit, Chakotay, I’m an engineer, not a writer," B’Elanna said with
irritation.
"B’Elanna, the report has a noticeable gap in it. You don’t even mention the
negative setting. I’m sure the nightmares Captain Janeway experienced are
disturbing but you wouldn’t want Starfleet to start poking around and wondering
why the Chief Engineer had failed to include key information. Fix it. If you
need help filling in the gaps, Tom is pretty ... creative," the former Maquis
captain said vaguely, getting a surprised look from B’Elanna.
"Just make sure your facts are in agreement with Seven’s. That’s all," he said,
clearly dismissing her.
"Uh ...Understood," she said and left with a frown. She really didn’t want to
write anything about that day.
***
The next day in sickbay, Seven sat next to the Captain’s biobed and read aloud
from the PADD in her hand. From all indications, Kathryn was getting better. She
no longer required the medical dome to support her involuntary functions;
however, she had yet to regain consciousness.
"Nelix reports, in a highly verbose manner which I will not subject you to, that
crew morale has improved since your return to Voyager," Seven said to Kathryn,
lowering the PADD to her lap.
"Although, the crew is still concerned about your recovery, Kathryn. Should you
wish to improve morale further, I am certain your waking would achieve an
exponential increase," she offered, looking at the still unconscious woman a
moment with growing frustration. "Should you continue in this condition for an
extended period, I will be reading his future reports to you verbatim," she
challenged, her optical implant rising in challenge as she eyed the Captain, who
showed no signs of reacting.
She sighed and reached out, compelled to touch the only person she had ever
loved. Her fingers tenderly caressed her brow then cheek before she took a
fortifying breath and continued her reporting.
"Engineering is reporting 96.2% efficiency in the warp core and collateral
systems," Seven summarized the department report. Raising her optical implant at
that unimpressive percentage, she frowned. "I am certain B’Elanna will improve
that, now that her attentions are focused on Voyager and not the Uttuskans,"
Seven noted, then continued. "She reports the supply of Dilithium crystals will
last 1.11 months with aggressive conservation protocols. However, with the
increase in efficiency I project, the duration of the supply can be extended for
1.32 months," Seven said, glancing at the Captain.
"The final report is the most concise, of course," Seven relayed, laying the
unneeded PADD on her lap. "There are three candidate locations for Dilithium
crystals. I recommend the Balleto system which contains many crystal-rich
asteroids. It has the highest probability of satisfactory dilithium crystal
density and the minimum extraction difficulty. While it is furthest away from
our present course to the Alpha quadrant, I believe it would be inefficient to
select a closer location with a significantly higher probability of failure and
risk wasting currently limited resources."
Seven paused, once again compelled to touch Kathryn. She gently placed a hand on
her head and wished there was some way to pull her out of the coma. The Doctor
said her talking helped the Captain and the medical cases on comas she had read
all agreed with that assertion. She found some comfort in knowing her
overwhelming need to communicate with Kathryn was actually supported by medical
science. Taking a breath, she continued.
"In addition to asteroids of interest, the Balleto system contains two Class M
planets with warp-capable species. Mr. Nelix notes the Balleto system is also
known for trade and commerce, which should keep him preoccupied for the duration
of our stay. This location also offers shore leave opportunities, which both Mr.
Paris and Nelix assert is relevant," Seven noted with an arched brow. "I too,
would deem it relevant if you joined me," she noted, placing her hand gently on
Kathryn’s, needing the tactile connection. "Please, Kathryn. Make shore leave
relevant," Seven said in a quiet plea.
The neural activity readings on the biobed monitor fluctuated. "Doctor!" she
called with surprise as she stood, glancing between the monitor and Kathryn’s
face.
The Doctor quickly emerged from his office. Grabbing a medical tricorder on the
way, he flipped it open and read it with a raised brow. "Hmmm."
Seven anxiously awaited his observations.
"She’s fighting to come back. You should continue to talk to her," he
recommended with a pleased smirk at the spark of excitement in her eyes.
Looking at her love, she said firmly but gently. "Kathryn, I require your
presence. Wake up. Please. Come back to me."
At last, Kathryn Janeway’s eyelids fluttered as her awareness of her
surroundings slowly grew.
"You are safe, Kathryn," Seven said softly, squeezing her hand. A smile bloomed
on Seven’s face when Kathryn weakly squeezed back.
The Captain’s eyes finally opened and found Seven.
"Kathryn, you are safe," Seven repeated, looking into her eyes as the groggy
haze was replaced by a rush of panic when the horrific memories flooded back in
a suffocating tidal wave.
"Emma!" Kathryn cried, her long, unused voice ragged and weak.
Seven looked at her uneasily, causing Kathryn to moan with soul-crushing
despair. She realized with dread that her hesitation had made Kathryn believe
the worst.
"Kathryn," Seven quickly said, unable to get a response through the thick wall
of grief. "Kathryn!" she said again, placing her hands firmly on either side of
Kathryn’s face and forcing her to pay attention. "Emma . . . Emma has not been
harmed," Seven said firmly, then glanced uneasily to the Doctor, who nodded with
agreement.
"That’s right, Captain," he said with a smile and reviewed her medical readings.
Stress was certainly elevated. No surprise there, he considered.
Kathryn looked into crystal blue eyes, unsure of what to believe. "Emma has not
been harmed," Seven repeated slowly and confidently. Kathryn finally grasped
onto that information desperately, exhaling with such relief that tears welled
up and rolled down her cheeks.
Seven reached out and gently wiped away the tears with infinite tenderness.
"Everything will be fine," she promised gently, causing the Doctor to glance at
Seven with brief unease. He hoped Seven understood the road ahead was going to
be a long and bumpy one.
When her thumb gently stroked her cheek, Kathryn blinked at her in confusion,
remembering another horrific event where she stood by and just watched,
powerless to stop it. "You were . . . assimilated," Kathryn said haltingly,
searching Seven’s face.
"I was not," Seven said, causing Kathryn to nod weakly at the evidence before
her. "I have not been a drone since you severed me from the collective," she
added firmly.
An uneasy breath escaped as Kathryn’s eyes frantically darted around sickbay,
trying to gain her bearings. "The ship was . . . destroyed," Kathryn blurted,
still disoriented, remembering her heart-wrenching destruction at Utopia
Planitia.
"She was not," Seven said, causing hope to flood back and rejuvenate the broken
Captain.
"Then we still have time - before they get here," Kathryn interrupted with a
surprising burst of energy, struggling to sit up. She didn’t know how it was
possible, but she had her ship, she had Seven by her side, and Captain Janeway
was damn well not going to waste a second chance to stop the Borg from attacking
Earth and destroying her family. It was going to be different this time, she
silently vowed with grim determination, struggling to sit up.
"There is nothing that can’t wait, Captain," the Doctor said firmly. "You need
to rest," he said, swiftly injecting the weak patient with a sedative.
"Noooo! The Borg!" she cried out in panic, desperately battling against the drug
and her heavy eyes. She couldn’t fail again!
"They are not attacking, Kathryn," Seven quickly offered the upset woman,
getting one last confused glance before Kathryn’s eyes stayed shut.
After a quiet moment of looking at the once again unconscious Captain, Seven
glanced at the Doctor.
"Her neurological readings appear . . . normal," Seven stated uncomfortably,
searching for something positive about Kathryn’s condition.
"They are. That is one hurdle she’s gotten over, Seven. But you must realize,
there will be many more ahead. Her physical recovery will be the easy part.
Captain Janeway has been through a traumatic experience; it will take time for
her to grasp and accept what has happened to her. Then there is the emotional
recovery," he said with a sympathetic wince. "It will take time."
Seven looked at him with concern, feeling woefully ill-equipped to help Kathryn
recover from the emotional trauma she had been through. "How do I help her
heal?" She asked, without her usual confidence.
"Be patient. Until we understand what she is thinking and feeling, we can not
begin to help. And you know how difficult it is to get our Captain to talk about
her feelings," the Doctor said, glancing at their patient with a sigh.
"I will research therapy techniques," Seven said firmly, needing something
concrete to do.
The Doctor looked at her with a small smile of encouragement. "That’s a good
place to start," he said kindly, getting a nod before she went to the computer
to begin her research in earnest.
***
B’Elanna sat at her desk in her quarters, staring at the computer screen. Unable
to put what she saw down into words, she growled and got up to go for a walk.
She found herself in sickbay.
She spotted Seven at the Doctor’s desk, scanning something intently on his
computer screen. "Seven?"
Seven looked up and stared at her, waiting.
"Uh, how is she doing?" B’Elanna asked.
"She had regained consciousness a few hours ago," Seven said.
B’Elanna smiled with relief. "That’s great!" Seeing Seven not sharing her
enthusiasm, she added cautiously "Isn’t it?"
"She does not appear to be suffering from any neurological damage," Seven said,
looking to the computer screen worriedly.
"But?" B’Elanna asked guardedly, growing more concerned by Seven’s neutral tone.
"The Doctor says it will take time before she understands and accepts what has
happened to her. She woke thinking she had killed our daughter," she offered
uncomfortably.
B’Elanna winced and looked at the ground. "Chakotay told me I need to expand my
report to include the nightmares," she said uneasily, causing Seven to eye her
curiously.
"You are reluctant. Why?" Seven asked softly.
"I don’t think it’s anyone’s damn business to know what the Captain did while
under the influence of that . . . thing! It wasn’t real. It was a goddamn
nightmare!!" B’Elanna spat angrily. "And what if some idiot at Starfleet reads
about what she did and tries to hold that against her?"
"Do you think that is likely?" Seven asked with concern, not having considered
that possibility.
"I . . . I don’t know. I just don’t trust them. And I don’t think it’s necessary
to go into that detail and risk it."
"But Chakotay told you . . . ."
"He just doesn’t want any obvious gaps or inconsistencies between our reports,"
B’Elanna quickly offered, then added "He never asked for specifics...."
Seven looked at her a thoughtful moment, then glanced at the computer screen,
where she had investigated the psychological sciences, focusing on clinical
psychology and psychotherapy, which she found frustratingly . . . imprecise.
"We will mention the invasion and destruction of Earth and the assimilation of
her mother and sister. That should be sufficient explanation of the resulting
cardiac arrest," Seven said, getting a quick nod of agreement from B’Elanna.
"What about Tuvok?" B’Elanna suddenly said with alarm, having forgotten that his
actions could have killed the Captain.
"He has already thoroughly documented his actions," Seven said. Seeing B’Elanna
wince, Seven added "and my report will reflect my participation."
"What??"
"I recognized that if we failed, I would not have the courage to end her . . .
nightmare," Seven said with distress. "I had requested Tuvok make sure she did
not remain trapped by the device. He agreed."
"You had the courage to ask, Seven," B’Elanna noted softly.
Seven’s eyes dropped, unconvinced of her courage.
***
Almost a day had passed before the sedative wore off and the Captain slowly woke
from a dreamless sleep. Her eyes fluttered open then quickly glanced around the
familiar sickbay in confusion. Seeing the Doctor, her eyes narrowed, recalling
him sedating her.
"Where am I?" Kathryn asked evenly, looking at the Doctor as he held his medical
tricorder over her.
"Voyager’s sickbay, Captain," the Doctor answered with a smile as Seven joined
his side. Kathryn focused on Seven, her guiding light though a stormy sea. Seven
took her hand, which she grasped tightly.
"Your vital signs are strong and . . . ," the Doctor continued but was
interrupted by his anxious patient.
"We’ve already wasted valuable time, Doctor," she spat angrily. "We can’t waste
another minute; we’ve got stop the Borg," she declared anxiously. Noting Seven’s
brief, uncomfortable glance to the Doctor, Kathryn’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"There is no Borg threat, Kathryn," Seven said, earning a sharp, disbelieving
look.
"At least today anyway," the Doctor offered with a smirk.
Kathryn looked at Seven with an impatient glare. "Show me," she growled and
started to sit up.
"Captain, you’ve been through a physical and emotional trauma. You need to
rest," the Doctor said, reaching for another hypospray.
"So help me, if you attempt to inject me one more time, I will charge you with
treason and personally decompile your program," Captain Janeway said with such
conviction the Doctor flinched.
Memories of her home’s devastating destruction as she helplessly stood by
tormented her. She pushed down the confusing ache of guilt, reminding herself
she hadn’t failed yet. The ship was still intact, Seven was here, and Emma . . .
was still at home, furious with her. Which was far better than the alternative,
she considered, vowing for all their sakes, not to let the alternative happen.
With steely resolve, she focused on Seven and demanded "If there is no Borg
threat, prove it."
"Captain, we’ve already told you," the EMH tried again. "Now you need medical
...."
"I need to know there is no Borg threat!" she snapped impatiently. "Telling me
doesn’t cut it! I need PROOF!!"
"Captain," the EMH sighed with frustration. "Please . . ."
Captain Janeway had had enough. "Computer, deactivate Emergency Medical
Hologram. Authorization Janeway, Gamma One Nine Eight," she said abruptly.
An offended look appeared on the Doctor’s face. Kathryn’s eyes widened with
angry disbelief; how could it be that Starfleet overlooked the need to activate
the command protocols for the Captain they had assigned to stop the Borg
attack?!?
Seven quickly intervened. "Computer, deactivate Emergency Medical Hologram.
Authorization Seven Lima Eight Eight Pi."
The EMH’s offended look was now directed at Seven before he disappeared; the
hypospray in his hand dropped onto the tray.
"Someone at Starfleet command is going to explain that to me later!" Janeway
growled. "But first we have a job to do - unless you can convince me otherwise,"
she challenged bluntly, now focusing on the uneasy former Borg. "Show me," she
demanded again.
"Very well," Seven said uneasily, getting a curt nod from Captain Janeway, who
got off the biobed. Her legs, unused to supporting her weight, buckled beneath
her. A meshed hand quickly reached out, preventing her from falling.
"Thank you," Janeway said tightly, uncomfortable with being so weak; she would
also pursue that ‘why’ later. But right now, she had a job to do.
"Computer, site-to-site transport to Astrometrics," Seven said, holding Kathryn
firmly as they dematerialized.
***
Captain Janeway, clad in her dark blue patient tunic, leaned against the console
for support as she watched Seven call up Voyager’s current location on the star
chart. The familiar clusters of stars that appeared were not those she had ever
expected to see again.
"As you can see, there are no Borg vessels within sensor range, Kathryn," Seven
said, knowing the Captain’s original concern of the Borg threat was forgotten as
Kathryn stared at the stars, shaking her head at what she saw.
Confusion, disbelief, then anger washed over Captain Janeway as she stared at
the disturbing information. "No...this isn’t right. We are not in the Delta
Quadrant!" she responded heatedly.
"We are. I know this is confusing, Kathryn, but I will attempt to answer all . .
. ." Seven said with concern, but was interrupted.
"We returned home fourteen years ago!" Kathryn argued vehemently. "We got
married over thirteen! We had Emma . . . ," she continued fiercely then
suddenly, her breath was expelled as if punched in the stomach. ". . . twelve,"
she finished in a whisper as the memory of her daughter’s final look consumed
her thoughts.
It was a look of fear...of her.
Kathryn’s eyes shut tightly as she clung to Seven’s words. Emma was not harmed.
Seven said she was OK, she silently repeated, desperately praying it was true.
Desperately praying she never pulled the trigger....
"Kathryn," Seven said firmly, getting Kathryn’s eyes to open and look at her
with a startling weariness. She abhorred the idea of causing any more pain but
knew Kathryn needed the truth. "We did not return to the Alpha Quadrant," she
informed her, then added gently "We did not get married or have children."
Kathryn looked at Seven with a stormy mix of emotions. What the hell was going
on? How could the woman with an eidetic memory not remember all those years
together? How could she possibly forget?!?
"But we did!" Kathryn responded with frustration, grabbing Seven’s right hand as
proof - only to find the gold band missing. Her exasperation was suddenly
strangled by her surprise. They never took their rings off. Kathryn released
Seven’s hand and looked at her own, noting with a sinking feeling that her band
was also gone. "No," she uttered under her breath, unbelieving, as she shook her
head. They must have taken them off for some reason. But they never took them
off. "No."
Seven reached out and firmly grabbed Kathryn’s shoulders, looking into her
uncertain eyes.
The Astrometrics doors whooshed open as a whistling Harry entered reading a
PADD. Spotting Seven with the Captain, he stopped dead in his tracks. "Captain!
Seven?"
Captain Janeway glanced over to Mr. Kim, startled by his appearance. He only
wore an Ensign pip, yet - he had become the Captain of Endeavor. Her head
dropped down as she struggled with the contradictions. Everything was telling
her that she was back in the Delta Quadrant . . . all those years ago. But . . .
how? What of Emma?
"Seven, is she all right? Should I get the Doctor?" Harry said worriedly,
glancing over his Captain still in her blue patient tunic, shaking her head, not
wanting to accept what she was seeing.
"Mr. Kim, if the Captain requires assistance, I will ensure she gets it. Leave
us now," Seven said evenly.
"Uh ... right. Welcome back, Captain," he said uneasily, then left.
Chapter 11 - Explanations
Materializing in the Captain’s stateroom, Kathryn slowly looked up into
concerned blue eyes.
"I will get you more suitable clothing," Seven offered softly, quickly glancing
over her patient tunic.
"Time travel?" Kathryn guessed weakly. "Did . . . Did we avoid the attack by
going back?" she asked with a wince, desperate for an explanation. Though there
must have been a huge miscalculation. Certainly she wouldn’t have picked a time
they were still stuck in the Delta Quadrant. Before Emma....
"No, it is not that simple," Seven said, taking her hand and leading her to her
bedroom and bed.
"Time travel is never simple," Kathryn argued weakly, then eyed her
suspiciously. "Q?" Captain Janeway thought with growing anger, tired of his . .
. .
"No. Not Q," Seven said and sighed.
Kathryn blinked, feeling lost.
"Sit. I will gather your clothes and you will change. Then we will discuss what
happened," Seven said and efficiently collected comfortable casual wear from the
bureaus as Kathryn sluggishly nodded and sat, looking around the familiar
bedroom she hadn’t seen in over fourteen years, or so she had thought.
Glancing out her bedroom window, she frowned at the Hurio nebula. Its beautiful
purple and blue hues would have been far more beautiful if they were in the
Alpha Quadrant, she considered. Yet, they weren’t. It was a familiar Delta
Quadrant nebula, meaning they were in the Delta Quadrant as the star chart and
Seven had told her. Seeing a young Ensign Kim placed them at a time before
returning home all those years ago, but according to Seven, time travel was out.
And if she was in the past, before they went home, before she and Seven married
then . . . what of Emma? The ache in her heart grew suffocating as she stared
out at that damned nebula.
Seven returned to see the quiet misery in Kathryn’s eyes. Silently, she placed
the clothes on the bed.
"I didn’t get us home, did I?" Kathryn asked, the old burden of getting her crew
safely home returned, crashing down upon her with a vengeance.
"You will," Seven said with soft conviction, feeling the intense sadness
radiating from the older woman, who glanced away, not so confident of anything
anymore. Everything she had lived through the past fourteen years . . . never
happened? Everything she had wanted and thought she had . . . was gone? Kathryn
took a shaky breath. Emma....
As Seven tried to unfasten the blue garment, Kathryn gently stopped her with an
uneasy hand. Her eyes briefly looked over Seven with uncertainly. "I’ll,
uh...take care of that," she said uncomfortably. "Could you please get me a cup
of coffee?" she added.
She eyed Kathryn a moment. "I will return shortly," Seven finally said, standing
up and leaving Kathryn to dress herself.
"Ah, I’ll meet you in the living room?" Kathryn countered awkwardly, unable to
look Seven in the eyes.
Seven tilted her head curiously a moment, then concluded the independent Captain
needed some control of the situation. "Very well."
***
In her most comfortable slacks and blouse, Kathryn finally emerged from her
bedroom. As she headed for the couch, she took stock of her old quarters, hoping
to find something out of place, something that would reveal this was all a cruel
trick. But everything looked . . . disappointingly normal.
Seven silently watched her, noting the haunted look in her eyes as Kathryn
searched the room for understanding. She had read various studies on loss and
trauma and the associated stages a person goes through emotionally.
Unfortunately, none of the studies offered a precise time line for when the
stages would occur. And even more frustratingly, the stages did not necessarily
occur in sequential order, she recalled, wondering if the Science of Psychology
would be more aptly named Chaos Theory. Her frustration was also accompanied by
a persistent doubt of her ability to help Kathryn through this emotional maze.
Taking a fortifying breath, the former Borg returned to Kathryn’s side with a
beverage in hand.
"Thanks," Kathryn said softly, receiving the cup as they sat on the couch. Seven
nodded.
"Uh," Kathryn said with a frown as she looked in the cup. "I realize my memory
is a bit unreliable at the moment, but this isn’t coffee."
"Correct. You have not ingested food nor drink in 15.3 days. Nutritional
supplement 33 will be easier on your stomach," Seven responded.
Kathryn looked at her, startled by how long it had been since she last ingested
something. Knowing Seven would eventually explain, she simply nodded and
hesitantly sipped. Her eyes widened in surprise. "Chocolate?"
"Nutritional supplement 33 also contains a variety of important nutrients which
your body needs," Seven offered, also knowing that chocolate was considered a
comfort food.
"I had always thought nutritional supplements and bad taste were synonymous,"
Kathryn offered dryly and sipped the drink her stomach accepted without protest.
"Having come to the conclusion that taste is actually relevant, I have developed
a number of nutritional supplements that are pleasing to my palate," Seven
noted.
Kathryn nodded and finished her drink. As she placed her cup down on the coffee
table, she stared at the table and absently traced her fingers upon the surface,
remembering how Seven had given it to her on their first real date. She pulled
back awkwardly, wondering if that even happened.
"I am uncertain as to the least upsetting way to explain what has happened to
you," Seven said with her usual blunt honesty.
Kathryn glanced to Seven, her eyes dropping to her hands. With all the confusing
information swirling around her, contradicting everything she thought she knew,
oddly enough, what preoccupied her most at the moment was the absence of her
gold band. Her eyes returned to the coffee table.
"I have researched therapy techniques to find the most suitable method to engage
in discussion with you that factors in all the emotional stimuli you have
experienced. Unfortunately, out of the eight hundred and twelve applying to
humanoids, I have only been able to narrow down the field to twenty three and I
am uncertain as to which one would be the most eff...." Seven rattled on
nervously at her failure to know precisely how to proceed as Kathryn stared at
the table, unlistening.
"Seven?" Kathryn interrupted hesitantly, touching her own bare ring finger as
she stared at the table with a perplexed look. "You stated we were never . . .
married. But did we, uh, ever, were we. . . ?" Kathryn said, her words tumbling
out as she awkwardly motioned between the two of them.
Seven realized with great distress that she had failed to anticipate Kathryn’s
need to know where their relationship stood. It was logical that Kathryn needed
something concrete to rely on before she could move forward. "We were in a
physically intimate relationship for 10.34 months before this happened. It
commenced 2.12 days after your bond with Jerran was transferred to Captain
Ba’Re."
Kathryn silently nodded with some solace that she hadn’t lost everything . . . .
"We have copulated on 139 separate occasions, averaging 3.7 org...." Seven
continued.
"Well now," Kathryn quickly interjected uncomfortably. "Uh . . . wow," she added
with stunned amazement. She had never heard of one of her relationships in terms
of those "statistics" before. But she didn’t need exact numbers to know her past
relationships were never that . . . active. She was torn between feeling proud
the ol’ gal still had it in her and worried the ol’ gal sounded rather... needy.
"Indeed; however, during many of those months you were unusually preoccupied
with the K’Ta delegation and then later the Renthren pirates. Once you are fully
recovered and without those distractions, I am certain we will improve upon the
frequency of both copulation and orgasms," Seven said confidently, startling
Kathryn a moment before she noted a familiar mirth in Seven’s eyes.
"Sounds like I will need to be fully recovered," Kathryn countered dryly. Her
amusement faded as guilt welled up. "I had to ask; I didn’t want to presume,"
she offered with an apologetic wince.
"Kathryn," Seven said, taking the Captain’s hand in hers. "There is much for you
to understand and you will. It will be difficult to reconcile what did and did
not happen, but you will. I will help you through this," Seven vowed.
Kathryn Janeway looked into crystal blue eyes. She blinked and nodded, wondering
if she really deserved the love so clearly reflected in them.
"So . . . what happened?" Kathryn asked, looking at Seven uneasily.
"The Uttuskan Device happened," Seven said tightly.
"The device that got us home?" Kathryn easily countered; but as soon as she said
it, she knew that couldn’t be true. She had seen the star chart. She could see
the damn Hurio nebula out her damn stateroom window. "But it didn’t," she
amended with a heavy sigh.
"Their device used you as an energy source for their urban centers," Seven said,
causing Kathryn to scoff at the idea.
"One person supplied all their energy?" Kathryn challenged the clearly
unbelievable explanation.
"You do have a strong personality, Kathryn," Seven countered with a raised
ocular implant, surprising Kathryn, who looked at her a moment, then frowned as
Seven continued.
"We had not planned to alter course to Uttuska Prime, but our long-range scans
detected a wormhole event. As we approached the planet, the wormhole event
appeared to be stable. Once we arrived, you and the senior staff attended many
meetings over many days with the Ambassador and her staff to negotiate use of
their technology. However, the Uttuskan delegation appeared reluctant to part
with any of their technology. Ambassador Gatta appeared to be sympathetic and
found you . . . intriguing."
Kathryn looked at Seven uneasily as she vaguely recalled the discussion at those
meetings but clearly remembered Dre Gatta’s flattering attention.
"She extended a . . . personal invitation to you for a private dinner. You
accepted. You thought you could convince her to help," Seven said tightly.
"I didn’t go to that dinner," Kathryn quickly countered, shaking her head. "I
knew you were upset I had accepted. I spent that night with you," she said
confidently, vividly remembering that special evening.
Seven sighed, wishing that had been the case. "You did not. We argued as you
were getting dressed. I was upset you had never told her about us. You never
told anyone, even after ten months as a couple," Seven said uncomfortably.
Kathryn cringed. How could she have been so oblivious to Seven’s feelings? And
why didn’t Seven ever say anything, she wondered helplessly - then wanted to
kick herself; it was Seven’s first intimate relationship. She was probably
uncertain how to address things about their relationship that bothered her. Good
going, Katie, she thought derisively.
"I knew she wanted you; however, I had not anticipated in what capacity," Seven
said with a scowl. "Had I been less jealous and more rational, I could have
prevented...," Seven offered guiltily.
"Whoa, hold on," Kathryn interrupted. "I may have more than a few jumbled
memories up here," she said, tapping her temple. "But the responsibility for my
actions rest with me. I’m not surprised you became upset. I’m only surprised it
took 10.34 months before it grew into an argument. And I should have stopped to
think of why you were so upset. But I didn’t. I remember . . . I was convinced I
could get us home with this technology. I wanted that so badly," Kathryn
admitted softly, shaking her head with a heavy sigh.
Seven nodded, understanding how much Kathryn wanted to get her crew home; and
that great yearning frightened her.
"I am supposedly a seasoned Starfleet officer, trained in the art of war and
politics. And yet I bought her story, hook, line, and sinker," Kathryn said
derisively.
"The data and the Ambassador were quite convincing," Seven allowed.
"Not to you," Kathryn added.
"Unlike you and most of the crew, I did not want to trust them. I did not . . .
like Ambassador Gatta," Seven admitted.
"That, I do recall," Kathryn noted and frowned. "I’m sorry I dismissed your
concerns as just jealousy."
"I was jealous," Seven confirmed uncomfortably.
Kathryn lifted her hand to Seven’s cheek and looked into her eyes with great
regret. "I’m so sorry I hurt you."
"I know, Kathryn," Seven responded, turning to kiss her palm before taking
Kathryn’s hand in hers and resting it on her lap. "You are tired. Perhaps you
should rest . . . ."
"No," Kathryn said firmly. "I can’t rest until I know why the past fourteen
years that I remember apparently never happened," she said tightly, part of her
still not convinced it didn’t.
Seven sighed and nodded before continuing. "The device induced a deep dream
state, where your desires and wishes were fulfilled. It sustained your body with
nutrients, while in return, you provided it energy."
"How?" Kathryn asked with genuine curiosity.
Seven looked uncomfortable. "We know very little about the operation of the
device. Our scanners were unable to penetrate the protective plating and their
databases contained no useful information on the design. We also found that the
Uttuskans who were operating it were not knowledgeable of the scientific
principles, even though their society had been using it for over a millennia,"
Seven noted with clear disapproval.
"So they’ve been using people to supply their energy for over a millennia??"
"Yes. The Ambassador had informed Tuvok that a Uttuskan can produce energy for a
year or two before they die. You had been projected to provide them energy for
six, maybe seven years before you were . . . exhausted," Seven said
uncomfortably.
"So they prey on unsuspecting visitors?" Kathryn said with irritation as the
memory of a dark room surfaced, causing her to blink. There was a chair, with
someone already in it . . . attached to it, she recalled and shuddered at the
disturbing memory.
"Their practice of using off-worlders started only recently due to a sharp
decrease in Uttuskan volunteers - even with the promise of their dreams being
fulfilled," Seven noted. "However, the Uttuskan law forbids use of off-worlders
without their consent. But the Ambassador disregarded that law."
"What happened to her?" Kathryn asked hesitantly. She glanced at Seven
uncomfortably as she tried to remember the details of her encounters with the
woman who had played her so easily.
"The Uttuskan authorities took her and her staff into custody. We received a
transmission two days ago that they have sentenced them to life imprisonment,"
Seven said.
"Who is supplying the energy for their cities now?"
"No one," Seven answered. "We have provided them with alternate power sources.
The device is no longer used. Once you were removed and the defensive mechanisms
became inactive, the Prime Minister had the device dismantled. The majority of
Uttuskans, including the Prime Minister, were highly receptive to our help to
achieve energy independence. We believe they were truly unaware that the
Ambassador was using off-worlders without their consent."
Seven saw a pleased smile form on Kathryn’s face. "I am proud of you."
Seven’s eyes dropped. "You should not be. I was tempted to implement B’Elanna’s
solution; however, I anticipated Voyager would need her photon torpedoes."
Kathryn’s smile grew. "That is why I am proud of you."
"It was a group effort," Seven said dismissively. Kathryn nodded, sure it was.
"You said . . . they tried to recruit people with promises that their dreams
would be fulfilled. But I know no dream of mine would have the Borg destroy
everything. They lied about that too?"
Seven tensed. "No. There are different settings on the device. The Uttuskan
practice was to induce positive brain activity which would provide the subject
in the chair with a positive dream experience; however, the device can also
induce negative brain activity, resulting in nightmares. We were . . .
desperate," Seven said, her eyes dropping to the floor as she continued. "The
device’s defensive mechanisms were designed to prevent disruption to the power
source, either through tighter controls over the source, you, or injury to the
intruder. We were unable to scan it and attempts to gain control over the
operating circuitry proved unsuccessful. We spent eight days testing various
theories.
"How long was I . . . in the device?" Kathryn asked with a wince.
"Approximately nine days. I do not have an exact time since we were unsure when
you were first attached," Seven said uncomfortably, getting a startled, then
perplexed look from Kathryn.
"Fourteen years in nine days," Kathryn uttered softly with amazement, shaking
her head unable to believe she could have lived so much in such a little time.
Seven did not know how to respond so she continued her explanation.
"We theorized that if you woke up on your own, you could free yourself. Tuvok
performed a bridging of minds between you and Chakotay, then between you and
Harry," Seven said, getting an uneasy look from Kathryn. "Both attempted to
contact you and get you to wake up. However, they found the device’s connection
to you and your thoughts too resistant to outside influence. The away-team
reports contain more detail of the experience," she said, noting Kathryn’s
preoccupied look, suspecting she was trying to recall those encounters.
"We believed we had exhausted our options until Mr. Paris had inadvertently
found an observation room."
"Observation room?" Kathryn said with alarm, correctly guessing it’s function.
"The Uttuskans would use the room to observe the energy source’s dream life. It
is unclear what the exact purpose was, neither the attendants nor the Ambassador
elaborated."
"W...What did Mr. Paris observe?" Kathryn asked with dread, wondering if someone
had actually witnessed her ineptitude and final, monstrous act.
"He found you being intimate with my dream counterpart," Seven said.
A wave of relief washed over her, followed by one of embarrassment as Kathryn
pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned "Oh God."
"B’Elanna pulled him away and put a guard on the door," she offered, getting
Kathryn to move her hands to her temples.
"Anyone else get an eye-full?" Kathryn asked uncomfortably, massaging her
temples slowly as she looked at Seven.
"No one else saw anything they should not have, Kathryn," Seven said firmly,
receiving a weak nod.
"Go on...."
"In the room we discovered a control that would not trigger the defensive
mechanism. It provoked negative thoughts," she continued, getting a surprised
look from the Captain. "The only option we had left was to induce nightmares.
The hope was that we could get you to want to wake up on your own."
"That’s when the Borg came . . . ." Kathryn said softly, staring across the room
as she remembered the horror as they took everything she cared about and
destroyed it - except for Emma. She had done that herself.
"Yes. Tuvok and I tried one last mind meld to wake you but it was no use. Tuvok
broke the meld just before I was to be assimilated on the Queen’s ship."
"You were with me?" Kathryn asked with surprise that quickly turned to certainty
"You were with me," she said with wonder, remembering feeling a difference.
"We were unsure of what would happen with the negative settings; I did not want
you to be alone," Seven said uneasily, making Kathryn’s heart clench at her
thoughtfulness. "You were so happy before we interfered. Then everything was
destroyed."
Kathryn looked at Seven, whose eyes dropped guiltily. "Seven, you made the right
choice. I promised to get this crew home and doing it in my dreams doesn’t
count."
"You will succeed," Seven offered softly.
***
The morning sky is dark. The clouds of black smoke, billowing up from the
decimated cities and towns, block the sun. I want to kick and scream as my wife,
once again a drone, roughly presents our struggling daughter to the Queen, who
clearly savors her thorough victory against humanity . . . and me. How could
Seven not feel something? How could I just stand by and let this happen??
Somehow, Emma breaks free from the drone Seven’s grip and runs into the barn.
Misplaced hope fills my heart as I run after her and barricade us behind flimsy
wood doors, no more able to protect us from the Borg than from a strong wind. I
realize I can do nothing to protect my daughter from a life of inhuman
servitude. With Earth destroyed, who will rescue her?
"Come now, Captain. You know nothing will stop the Borg," the Queen says silkily
as she eyes the barn door with amusement, enjoying the moment.
"What’s that?" Emma asks, looking at the small box in my hands curiously.
She was always a curious child, like both her parents I’d like to think. I was
always proud of her, certain she would surpass my accomplishments. But it is not
to be. I look at her with immense sadness. There would be no more family
picnics, no more school concerts or science fairs, no more . . . just no more. I
can not even protect my own child.
"A phaser," I say softly, then take the safety off with frightening ease. The
Queen will not have my child too.
"Is it enough to stop them? Mom? Mom?!? Why are you pointing it at . . . NO! I’d
rather be a Drone than dead. Don’t kill me . . . please!!!" Emma cries out in
fear as I coldly pull the trigger.
"No!!" Kathryn cried out from her troubled sleep for the third time that night.
Sitting up in a sweat, Kathryn anxiously looked around her dark bedroom. Only
the dim light from the nebula and stars provided illumination.
"Kathryn, it is another nightmare," Seven said softly, sitting up and gently
rubbing Kathryn’s back.
Kathryn took a long moment to gather her wits, forcing calming breaths. With
frustration, she threw her legs over the side of the bed and ran a trembling
hand through her damp hair. Her eyes drifted out her window to the goddamned
Hurio nebula.
"Should I get a sedative?" Seven asked gently.
"NO!" Kathryn snapped, immediately recalling her helplessness when the Doctor
injected her. She sighed, knowing Seven was only trying to help. "No," she
repeated more softly. "No drugs," she said, standing up. Her arms crossed
protectively across her chest, which also helped stop her hands from trembling
so much.
"I understand."
The words triggered incredible anger. "Do you?!? Do you understand what it’s
like to take your child’s life?!?" Kathryn challenged.
Seven stiffened at the attack. Understanding that anger was one of the stages of
grief was far different than experiencing it first hand.
"I’m sorry," Kathryn immediately blurted and shook her head. "You don’t deserve
this," Kathryn added, pinching the bridge of her nose. "But you should know what
the person you are in bed with is capable of," she added coldly. "I killed our
daughter so the Queen would not get her. I took away her chance for life."
"Kathryn, no. It was a nightmare. You did not kill our daughter," Seven argued
vehemently, disturbed by the hard look on Kathryn’s face.
Kathryn’s eyes dropped to the ground. "I guess it is hard to kill someone who
never existed," she said as she pushed down the profound ache of loss.
"Precisely," Seven said, then realized her error with Kathryn’s next comment.
"Well, I’m so relieved we straightened that out," she said tersely, continuing
to pace, hugging her arms around herself more tightly.
"Kathryn, I did not intend to dismiss your feelings. Your experiences were real
to you and you have every right to be . . . ," Seven tried again, recalling
several medical references stressing the importance of validating an
individual’s feelings.
"Do. Not. Patronize. Me," Kathryn snapped. "For all I know, this is the
nightmare," she said angrily, waving her arm around the bedroom grandly. "How
the hell am I supposed to tell what is real?!?" She asked heatedly.
"I ... I do not know," Seven whispered uneasily, taking the angry wind out of
Kathryn’s sails.
Kathryn’s head dropped tiredly as she sat on the bed, her back to Seven.
"I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that either," Kathryn said softly, running her
hand through her hair uneasily.
Seven moved closer. When she reached out, Kathryn got up, leaving Seven’s hand
to awkwardly grasp air. She frowned and dropped her hand as Kathryn announced "I
think I’ll take a long soak in the tub. I don’t think I’m going to get much more
sleep this morning." Kathryn quickly retreated to the ensuite, without glancing
back at Seven.
***
Seven had already read the previous day’s logs and was now preparing breakfast
while Kathryn continued her bath. She keyed in the selection on the replicator
then glanced back to the ensuite worriedly as two mugs materialized. She
expected Kathryn’s nights would be fitful. She also expected that Kathryn would
become angry about her confusion. And she expected Kathryn would need space to
deal with her feelings. But what she did not expect was how difficult it would
be to watch Kathryn go through all the things she had expected.
When Kathryn emerged from her bedroom, Seven looked at her uncertainly, not
wanting to say something that would further provoke the older woman, who seemed
less edgy.
"Uh, I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier," Kathryn said uncomfortably as she
approached.
"It will take time for you to reconcile what has happened, Kathryn. You do not
need to apologize for your frustration while you do," Seven said, setting two
mugs on the table.
"It’s not fair to you. I know recovery can be as hard for loved ones as it is
for the . . . patient," Kathryn said awkwardly but was relieved to see a smile
appear on Seven’s lovely face.
"Your loved one has breakfast prepared," Seven said and motioned to the mugs,
prompting a small smile from the older woman.
She sat at the table and picked up the mug and inspected the unexpectedly
colorful contents. "What is it?" Kathryn asked, a bit dubious of any food that
was turquoise.
"Nutritional supplement 47," Seven said and sat across from her. "It will be
easier on your stomach than coffee."
"When will you let me drink coffee again?" Kathryn asked with mild amusement,
knowing Seven would ensure she had a proper diet, in spite of herself.
"Soon," Seven said as Kathryn hesitantly sipped her mug of turquoise liquid. Her
brows rose in pleasant surprise at the subtle vanilla.
"For someone who prides herself on being precise, that’s a bit vague," Kathryn
said and eyed her.
"Indeed," she acknowledged without apology and changed the subject, causing
Kathryn to smirk. "I have downloaded the relevant logs on the Uttuskans and our
attempts to free you to the PADDs by your computer console. They are in an order
I think most efficient to relay what had happened."
Kathryn glanced over to the console and the stack of PADDs a moment. "Thanks,
that should keep me busy for a while. You’ll be in Astrometrics while I read?"
Seven looked at her a surprised moment. "I . . . was going to stay here and run
a diagnostic on the Astrometrics sensors from your console."
"Wouldn’t it be more efficient to do that in Astrometrics?"
"It is not an urgent task requiring maximum efficiency," Seven countered easily.
"Oh," Kathryn said absently and sipped her drink.
Seven looked at her an uneasy moment, sensing disappointment. "You would prefer
me not to be here," Seven guessed hesitantly.
Kathryn cringed guiltily and put her hand over Seven’s. "I really don’t want you
staring at me while I read," she said honestly.
"I would not be staring," Seven quickly countered, then reluctantly added
"much."
Kathryn looked at Seven with a small smile and squeezed her hand before
releasing it.
"You wish to deal with this alone," Seven concluded in a small voice.
"I just think I need some time to read and catch up at my own pace, Seven,"
Kathryn said gently. "Besides, reading is not a very good spectator sport," she
joked gently.
"Watching you, in any endeavor, has always fascinated me," Seven admitted
softly, making Kathryn drop her eyes with conflicted feelings; the predominant
one at the moment was guilt. "But I will conduct the sensor diagnostic in
Astrometrics," Seven offered, yielding to Kathryn’s desire. "I do not wish to
make things more difficult for you."
"Oh Seven," Kathryn said regretfully. "Just because I don’t want you watching me
read doesn’t mean I don’t need you," she explained, hoping Seven could
understand. "Your love is the only thing keeping me sane," she admitted with a
tense look on her face, not entirely convinced of her sanity.