Control
[… so all I really have is control. I suppose it's no surprise, really, that my fantasy life is so consumed with having control taken
away. Lately it's been all Seven of Nine in my dreams. . .
completely calm and serene, certain in her authority, never
belittling or humiliating me for my need – just taking me thoroughly
and not letting me fall or run away . . . sigh . . . Last night's
made it almost impossible to look at her today without giving in. I
kept picturing her removing me from my chair – not roughly, but in a
way that fighting would have no purpose – pushing me to the wall and
forcing me to and past the point of orgasm with my clothes still in
place. I crave that abandonment with . . . ]
The fragment of journal entry showed up in the Astrometrics database
with no particular explanation. Seven knew by the end of the second
line that it wasn't meant to be heard by anybody but the Captain, but
was human enough that she did not terminate playback.
The second time, she listened as Borg – searching for signs that the
entry was a hoax, that this wasn't really her Captain articulating
something that Seven never even dreamed she could have with the often
aloof Janeway.
The third time, she had no excuse at all, but couldn't concentrate on
anything in Astrometrics but the sound of Kathryn Janeway's desire-
laced voice.
The fourth time, she berated herself for indulging in irrelevant
pastimes, but all the determination of the Collective couldn't stop
her from clenching a fist between her legs to ease the want.
Thereafter she abandoned all attempts at self-justification.
Somewhere around the twelfth time, she stopped pretending not to
consider acting out Janeway's fantasy for her, and started
speculating on the intensity of the punishment if she'd judged wrong.
Three days later, she realized that she had learned far more about
herself – her humanity – than she had about Janeway. Understanding
that her pre-occupation with the recording was beginning to seriously
impair both her functioning in Astrometrics and her relationship with
the Captain, she resolved to settle the matter in typical Seven
fashion.
"Come."
That the Captain's typical instruction made Seven smirk struck the ex-
Borg as another sign of increasing humanity. She came to rest just
far enough into the Captain's quarters that the door would close, and
assumed her usual posture, hands behind her back. She could taste
her own agitation as she waited for the Captain to finish a paragraph
and acknowledge her.
Janeway looked up from the couch with a smile.
"Hello, Seven. In the mood for a philosophical discussion?"
Clearly prepared to indulge in such a pastime, the Captain set down
her book and leaned back with coffee mug in hand. Seven took in her
casual attire, the open buttons, and her bare feet with an awareness
she wasn't altogether sure she'd had scant days ago, but which was
undeniably there now.
"Yes and no," Seven replied. "I feel that I must bring something to
your attention."
"All right," the Captain agreed. "Do you wish to sit?"
"No thank you," the ex-Borg replied. She debated adding, 'you may
want me to leave immediately,' but thought better of it almost
instantly.
Janeway, expecting her reply, simply waited for Seven to say what was
on her mind.
Awkwardly, Seven handed the Padd she was carrying to her, saying, "I
found this file embedded in the astrometrics database. Upon
reflection, I determined that you did not consciously intend for me
to see it."
The Captain took the Padd with an air of curiosity. Preparing to
activate it, she angled the screen toward her.
Seven said, "it is audio only, Captain."
The captain nodded in reply, and activated the audio playback.
It took the Captain almost 12 seconds to identify the content of the
file, but Seven could see the recognition as her face turned white,
then red, and a finger stabbed out to halt playback.
After an agonizing silence during which Janeway failed to meet
Seven's eye, the Captain croaked, "I assume you listened to this."
"Indeed," Seven replied. "Until I had, I assumed that it was
intended for me. In fact, even when I discovered that it was only a
fragment of a log entry, I considered the possibility that you had
placed it for me to find. It was only upon reflection that I
realized you would not be likely to choose to reveal that much
vulnerability to a member of your crew."
The Captain looked uncomfortable at hearing this, and that spurred
Seven to finish saying what she had planned to say. She hoped to get
it all out before Janeway recovered her voice.
"I am aware that this unintentional release of information will make
you uncomfortable. You may be assured that I have removed all traces
of the log. . ."
The Captain nodded at this, but Seven did not give her an opportunity
to speak.
" . . . and I shall not speak to anyone about this matter, nor will I
attempt to initiate a philosophical discussion with you about it."
Janeway looked very relieved to hear this, and Seven thought she
might interject before Seven was finished.
She rushed on, "I wish to say one further thing. . ."
At Janeway's nod, Seven stated flatly, "I wish to make you aware that
all you need do to make that. . ." Seven gestured at the
Padd, "happen is to send a two-word message to me stating a safe
word."
Janeway's face turned white again at that, but Seven forestalled the
expected outburst with a raised hand.
"I will adhere to what I have said, Captain. Unless you choose
otherwise, the matter is closed."
Janeway again looked as though she needed to speak, but settled for a
sharp nod. After a moment, she added, "thank you for your
discretion."
"Always, Captain," was the reply. "Now I believe I should take my
leave. Good night."
"Good night, Seven," Janeway replied. The lightness of her tone was
belied by the way she stared at the door for a good ten minutes after
Seven's departure.
Seven fully expected that to be the end of the topic, but had been
unable to refrain from at least making the offer.
While she certainly found herself imagining scenarios where Janeway
would admit her needs and take advantage of Seven's offer, she was
confident – although disappointed – that the Captain would choose the
safety of self-imposed isolation over the comfort of embracing
uncomfortable needs and desires.
Seven strongly considered whether she should reveal her own desire
for the Captain to her, but ultimately decided that would drive
Janeway further into her isolation. She resigned herself to waiting
for an overture that she did not really expect to receive.
Voyager floated dead in space as repairs were undertaken. After
almost a month being pursued and harried by various representatives
of the Gulteckt Triumvirate, they had finally left Triumvirate space
and could regroup.
Both the flight and the repairs had taxed the whole crew fully, and
18 hour shifts were only now winding down. After 57 hours on duty,
Seven had finally retired for a full regeneration cycle.
When the cycle ended, Seven – as always – moved to the computer
console to review ship's logs. The 'message waiting' light flashed
as she called up the data.
Noting that 'text only' was indicated, Seven activated the display.
The message was from the Captain. This was unremarkable for Seven,
but the content caused her eyebrow to rise and her chest to tighten.
The two word message said: "Safe-word: Voyager."
Seven took a deep breath as years worth of desires and suppressed
thoughts flooded her cerebral cortex. It too her enough time to
gather her composure that she arrived at her post almost 20 minutes
late.
Quite unintentionally, Seven arrived at the senior staff briefing
that afternoon slightly early. She stepped into the conference room
and discovered herself alone with the Captain. The look on the
Captain's face was equal parts of fear and anticipation. Realizing
the Captain's ambivalence – would Seven discuss the message? would
she arrange an assignation here and now? – Seven simply nodded,
said "Captain," and sat down.
Once she saw Janeway relax marginally, she spoke, engaging the
Captain on one of her concerns as Astrometrics Officer. Seeing
Janeway take a deep breath, Seven nodded internally, knowing that the
Captain was settling into their normal relationship once again.
Three long hours later, Janeway's day finally ended. Dragging her
tail more than a little, she entered her quarters, immediately
removing her tunic and dropping it on a chair.
Rubbing her sore neck, she moved to stand wearily in front of the
replicator. She was about to request a drink when she saw movement
out of the corner of her eye. Before she could turn around, she
found herself pressed against the face of the replicator by a soft
but unyielding body.
As she took a breath to protest, her captor spoke softly against her
ear. "I know you are tired, Kathryn. Even though I am aching for
you, I will go for now if that is what you wish. But know that I
wish to stay. I wish to take you, and take care of you, and exhaust
you so that you can sleep with a smile on your face for once. Allow
me."
Feeling Janeway relax marginally into her, Seven spoke again. "Tell
me your safe-word."
When Janeway muttered, "Voyager," Seven bent her head slightly
further so that her lips met the Captain's neck. The reaction was
instantaneous. Janeway moaned briefly, turned her head to give Seven
better access, and arched her back to lean further into the taller
woman.
Seven responded by wrapping one arm around the Captain's waist and
threading the other in her hair. Using this leverage, Seven angled
the Captain's neck even further and gently sucked on a pulse-point.
When Janeway began to whimper, Seven – sounding much more confident
than she felt – began to speak again against Janeway's ear.
"You cannot begin to imagine how much I want this, want you. I have
been distracted all day by the thought of having you tonight. It has
taken all of my will power – and you know how strong that is – to
refrain from touching myself in anticipation."
Janeway drew a ragged breath at that unexpected statement. Clearly
aroused at the mental picture, she began shifting slightly in Seven's
grasp.
In response, Seven steered the Captain away from the replicator and
pinned her against the wall. Now Janeway could feel her Borg against
both her back and legs. The warmth and sensation were amazing, and
Janeway wanted more.
She didn't have long to wait. Seven's hand left her hair, and moved
down over shoulders and arms to rest at her hip. Shifting slightly
to the right, Seven insinuated a leg between Janeway's and slid both
hands up to cup the Captain's breasts through the older woman's
undershirt.
The Captain's breathing grew shallow at these touches, and she
slipped further from her usual control into desire.
Seven capitalized on this, wanting equally to arouse the Captain
forever and to satisfy any desires she was able to create in her
usually stoic mentor.
Using her enhanced hand to begin stroking and pinching a nipple,
Seven slid the other down, halting with fingers just resting against
the heat between Janeway's legs.
This action seemed to complete the process of shutting off
the 'Captain' part of Janeway's brain. She began to press her hips
forward against Seven's hand, urging her to stronger contact. To
Seven's delight and immense arousal, Janeway also began to talk.
"Oh, Seven," she began in a voice even lower and sexier than her
usual growl.
As Seven's hand began to move ever so lightly over Janeway's ache,
Kathryn continued, "please, Seven. Harder. I need you."
This last statement ended on a gasp as Seven did exactly as she was
asked. She shifted forward so that Janeway could only move against
Seven and not away. Janeway's head fell to rest against the wall.
Her hands came up and back, pulling Seven's head against her neck,
silently urging Seven to be more forceful.
From this new angle, Kathryn could hear that Seven's breathing was as
harsh and labored as her own. The knowledge that she was arousing
the ex-Borg was possibly even more exciting for her than Seven's
touch – if that was physically possible.
Seven felt Kathryn begin to turn to face her, but halted the movement
before it could come to anything. She wanted the Captain just
exactly like this – molded against her but focused on herself. She
moved her hand away from the Captain's heat, provoking a whimper of
protest and then a moan of relief as the hand found its way under
Janeway's waistband and back down against her skin.
The silk of Kathryn's wetness took Seven's system by surprise. She
surged against the woman she was holding so carefully. This set off
a chain reaction as Janeway's engorged nipple was driven against the
mesh of Seven's fingers and her cunt was pushed more roughly against
Seven's fingers.
Instantly wanting more of that feeling, Janeway began to rock her
hips hard against the invading hand, working Seven over her clit and
right to the edge of her opening repeatedly.
In return, this caused Seven to tighten her grasp of Kathryn's mons,
which set off another chain of reactions in the older woman. In less
than a minute, this chain pushed Kathryn into an orgasm which left
her sagging against the wall, breathing heavily.
Seven, guessing at the right thing to do, stilled the motion of her
hand, gently cupping her fingers against Janeway, feeling her pulse
steadily slow. She remained completely unaware that she had not
stilled the motion of her own hips until Janeway's hand snaked around
to rest between Seven's legs. That one touch – even though the
biosuit that she'd worn – was enough to push Seven into a completely
unexpected orgasm. She whispered, "oh, yes, Kathryn," against
Janeway's hair as she too sagged from the release.
It took a moment for Seven to gather her thoughts enough to move.
When she did, she gently swept her Captain up into her arms and
carried her to her bed. Lying Janeway down gently on her coverlet,
she tenderly began to undress the unmoving officer.
At this, Janeway made an effort to rouse herself from the pleasant
haze she'd been floating in. Predictably, she began by
saying, "Seven, I can't do this."
Seven looked up at her face with a smirk. "In fact, Kathryn, you are
doing this. Relax. I am not changing the parameters. You cannot
afford a partner, I do not want a partner, nobody will know this is
happening, and we need never discuss the matter. I am simply going
to give and take pleasure with you, and you are simply going to enjoy
it. You know how to make it stop if you need to."
Having continued to undress Janeway as she spoke, Seven punctuated
her point by taking one of Janeway's nipples into her mouth. That
derailed the Captain's train of thought, and she simply wound fingers
into the ex-Borg's hair as she began to suckle. By the time
Janeway's higher brain functions had re-started, she had worked
Seven's hair out of its customary bun, and Seven had stripped
Janeway's pants to her knees.
When Seven broke away from her breast to finish removing pants and
boots, Janeway – rather than continuing her protest – simply finished
removing her undershirt and gazed down the bed at the object of her
desires.
As Seven eased the last of the Captain's uniform off of her body,
Janeway caught her eye and said, "you too," in her best command voice.
Seven merely smiled and shook her head, saying "you are not in
command here, Kathryn."
"Please," came the reply, without comment on the change in
command. "I want to be able to touch you too."
Seven's eyebrow rose as she moved back over her lover's body. "I had
not considered that you might want that."
Seven was treated to the amazing experience of watching Kathryn
Janeway's pupils dilate with desire as the Captain responded, "very
much so. That was part of the fantasy – that you would demand that I
pleasure you."
"I see," Seven replied. She reared up from her position straddling
Janeway's legs to release the catch on her biosuit. Almost too
quickly for Janeway's taste the biosuit hit the floor and a
completely nude Seven slunk up her body.
When they were eye to eye, Seven smiled with a seductive tilt to her
face Kathryn didn't know she was capable of showing. "Now, Kathryn,
I believe we must get clear on who is actually in charge here." The
ex-Borg's authoritative rasp affected Kathryn every bit as much as
Seven had hoped, and with her enhanced hearing she could actually
monitor the Captain's rising heart-rate.
"You have made me very wet, you know," Seven started. To illustrate
her point, she shifted so that one leg fell between Janeway's on the
bed and lowered herself onto a waiting thigh. Both women moaned –
Seven at the sensation against her achingly hard clit and Janeway at
the wetness she could feel.
Janeway's immediate reaction was to reach a hand down, this time to
touch Seven without clothing between them. Seven resisted
immediately, grabbing both hands and raising them above the Captain's
head. "Oh, no, Kathryn," she murmured. "I'll decide when it is time
for you to touch me."
With that, Seven began to assert her power over Janeway, nipping
throat and collar-bone on her way to a pair of visibly aroused
nipples. That she did this without releasing Janeway's hands only
served to further arouse the Captain, who responded by pushing her
thigh up into Seven's wetness.
Seven, trying very hard not to reveal the extent of her arousal to
her lover, replied to this by using her teeth on Kathryn's nipple
hard enough that Janeway's shoulders came up off the bed to ease the
pull. Seven quickly glanced up, trying to gauge whether this was a
good thing or a bad one for the Captain. Even with Seven's rather
limited people-reading skills, it was quickly evident to her that
Kathryn approved of this slight pain.
Seven repeated the procedure on Kathryn's other nipple before working
her way down the Captain's torso. Eventually she had to release
Janeway's hands, which she did with the admonition, "keep those where
they are."
Not bothering to look to see if her directive was being obeyed, Seven
slid further down Janeway, eventually moving so that her whole body
lay on the bed between Kathryn's legs.
Looking up to make sure she had Janeway's full attention – which the
Captain's face revealed she certainly did – Seven tilted her head
down so that her nose and mouth rested lightly against the slightly
curly hair between Janeway's legs. With a deep breath to savor the
lush scent of her Captain's arousal, Seven slid her tongue out and
over Janeway's labia and into the desire pooled there waiting for her.
A simple taste was enough to make it clear to Seven that she never
wanted to leave this place. Kathryn was utterly magnificent. All
the words in all the languages of the assimilated Borg didn't even
begin to describe the pleasure that tasting Kathryn brought to Seven.
She barely even registered the pressure when Kathryn's hand came down
to her hair to urge her on. Her own raging desire was pushing her to
be progressively more insistent in her nuzzling and suckling, and
when the muscles of Kathryn's vulva spasmed against her questing
tongue she didn't even need to think before sliding fingers into the
opening to allow the muscles something more substantial to grasp.
Kathryn bucked hard at that invasion, but another glance at her face
convinced Seven that it was a good thing. This belief was confirmed
by Kathryn's guttural demand: "fuck me, Seven, please."
Seven was more than pleased to comply further, sliding three slippery
fingers further into Kathryn's wetness. When this simply caused
Kathryn to further spread her legs and force her pelvis harder
against the fingers, Seven added a fourth. Kathryn's response was a
sob of pleasure.
Seven began to rotate the fingers slightly in a twisting motion as
she continued to penetrate her Captain thoroughly. At this, Kathryn
disengaged her fingers from the ex-Borg's hair, and pushed her upper
body up from the bed. She used this added leverage to force herself
down harder against Seven's hand.
Feeling yet more wetness against her fingers, Seven tucked her thumb
under her fingers, and Kathryn's next thrust effectively forced
Seven's whole hand inside. Carefully curling her hand into a gentle
fist inside her lover, Seven continued to rotate as her hand slid in
up to her wrist. If anything, Kathryn's efforts to force Seven
further only increased as her motions grew less controlled and her
breathing more ragged.
Finally, with a shout of complete triumph, Kathryn collapsed back
onto the bed. Seven stilled her hand, in awe of the tremors released
by the muscles around her, and looked up at the stunned look of
pleasure on her lover's face.
After a few moments during which the only sound was Kathryn's slowing
breathing, Seven felt the muscles around her begin to relax, and
eased her way out of Kathryn. This left Seven uncertain of how best
to proceed – torn between her desire to simply hold the amazing woman
sprawled out beneath her and her desire to continue with what Kathryn
had stated as her own desire.
As Seven moved up beside Kathryn, the Captain solved the dilemma for
her, opening her eyes and looking at Seven with undisguised
eagerness. Kathryn moved to touch Seven, then quickly caught
herself, remembering the earlier directive. It was enough of a
movement, however, to indicate to the ex-Borg that Kathryn was more
than willing to fulfill any demands Seven might have.
Seven's mind raced, hoping to find just the right words to phrase her
need and to further enflame her Captain. After a moment's pause, she
settled on, "inside me, now."
With a sound that might have been a sob, the Captain moved up and
over Seven to comply. Her fingers brushed lightly over Seven's clit
as she sought out the source of Seven's wetness. As Seven moaned in
aching desire, Kathryn caught her breath at the tangible evidence of
how much Seven really wanted her. Far past any ability to reason
successfully, Kathryn's instinct guided her inside, immediately using
her fingers to soothe the ache. She started an immediate rhythm,
pulling almost completely out then sharply pushing back in until she
met resistance. In seconds, Seven's hips began to match the rhythm,
continuing it, drawing it out to enhance the pleasure.
Wordlessly, Seven reached a hand to guide Kathryn's mouth to her as
well. Seven was shocked at the accuracy of her human nervous system
as it reported to her in detail the sensations of Kathryn's tongue
and teeth against the most delicate parts of her body. When Kathryn
began to flick her tongue sharply against Seven's own hardness at the
apex of each stroke Seven felt reality begin to shatter around her as
her awareness imploded to focus on nothing but her Captain.
Everything turned to white noise for Seven as her body blossomed into
sheer pleasure. She temporarily lost the ability to track events
around her. When she came back to herself, she found that Kathryn
had slid out of her and was sprawled on top of the whole length of
her body, watching her intently.
Before Seven could speak, Kathryn leaned down, whispered "thank you,"
and kissed her. Having not really expected Janeway to allow a kiss –
and the different level of intimacy it implied – Seven found this
soft contact as arousing as what had gone before. She opened her
mouth in a groan and startled both herself and her lover by very
distinctly coming again as Kathryn's tongue slid into her mouth.
Kathryn's eyes were darkening again into intense arousal as she
reared up to meet Seven's startled gaze in the wake of this further
pleasure.
"You're downright dangerous, Seven," she smirked.
Catching her breath, Seven replied, "on the contrary, Kathryn, it is
you as catalyst that provides the danger."
The Captain was feeling cocky enough at this point to only smirk in
reply. Although she did not move to kiss Seven again, she showed no
sign of moving from her perch atop the Astrometrics Officer either,
so Seven took the opportunity to wrap her arms around her Commanding
Officer and simply hold her.
After a few moments of sheer contentment at this connection, Kathryn
stirred enough to whisper to Seven, "will you stay?"
Utterly tempted, Seven needed all of her analytical detachment to
reply, "you know I cannot, Kathryn. As you have stated, you cannot
do this. . . and I cannot be here when you begin to regret this."
Seven could feel Kathryn's nod against her neck. Janeway lifted her
head enough that Seven could see her face as she said, "I feel like I
should apologize for that."
Seven stopped her with a soft kiss. "Please do not," she
replied. "I wanted this; you wanted this. Neither of us wishes to
complicate it at present. Just leave it at that."
When Janeway nodded again, looking marginally less pained, Seven
continued, "please be aware that you can call on me again. If you
tell me your desires, I will endeavor to meet them."
Hearing a quick intake of breath from the Captain, Seven expected to
hear an unequivocal denial of this possibility. She found herself
completely taken aback when the Captain said instead, "thank you.
You may ask the same of me, if you wish."
Seeing Seven's shock at this, Kathryn gave her a trademark Janeway
smirk, and said very seductively, "what? you don't think I'd enjoy
the opportunity to take you wherever you might want to go?"
At Seven's denial, Janeway finished, "the very thought is making it
tough to let you leave, Seven. You'd better get out while it's still
safe."
Clearly understanding that the balance of power had shifted back to
Janeway, Seven gently rolled the Captain onto her side and gracefully
began to re-dress. Only after Seven had finished and was lifting
hands to her hair did the Captain speak again.
"Would you leave the hair until you've gone, please, Seven? I'd like
to retain that image."
Tilting her head slightly in the manner that Janeway so enjoyed,
Seven replied, "yes, Captain." Then she swiftly bent to tuck her
Captain in. With a final gentle kiss, Seven said, "good night,
Kathryn" and moved quietly out of the Captain's quarters. Shortly
after, the sole occupant of those quarters began to drift into sleep
with the promised smile on her face.
END