Heart's Desire
 

Personal Log Seven of Nine. Sleep, I would like to try it sometime. It would have to be someplace safe, protected, her bed. I know her secret, her desire. What would she do if she found me in her bed? How many scenarios have run through my mind as I study the stars to bring her home? A home I do not care if I ever see.

Would she gaze at me and slowly reach out? Touch my shoulder and my face, ease into the bed next to me and run her hands over my body? As I awoke would she stop and look for permission or just slowly continue with her hands, with her mouth? Or maybe she would be angered by my presumption. Stride over to the bed in full captain mode and pull the covers off of my naked body.

I can see her raking over my form with hungry eyes as she is climbing over me taking my mouth in hers roughly, punishment for my knowing. The duality of Janeway, will she be the gentile woman who held me in the brig, or the fiery commander who would pilot thorough a pulsar when pushed?

In my worst moments I believe she would be the duty bound Starfleet officer who can ignore her needs, forever putting her crew first. I fear she would notice my occupation and walk away. Denying herself, denying me.

"End log." Seven of Nine, Astrometrics officer of the Federation Starship Voyager, stepped into her alcove. The former Borg drone set her cycle and began to regenerate.

Captain Kathryn Janeway was lost in thought as she walked away from cargo bay two. She didnít even want to think about what brought here to this particular part of the ship at the same time of every evening. But tonight she couldnít stop thinking about the former Borg.

What would she do if I stepped up on the dais and ended her cycle? When the computer awoke her if my face was close to hers, would she push me away like she first did in the brig, hiding behind her superior strength and then reach for me and let me hold her? Or would she reach out and touch my face trace my lips with a finger as she arches her metal eyebrow and smiles that faint smile, waiting for me to state my intentions? Would she speak to me?

I know she is aware of me. I feel her eyes follow me on the bridge. Would she smile and let me kiss her or with her typical efficiency move forward and do the kissing? In my nightmares she steps back not knowing why I am there, not responding to my desire.

It was a long week in the Delta Quadrant. The crew of Voyager had come across a dilithium rich planet. Unfortunately while attempting to mine some of the power source Voyager found herself in the middle of a territorial war between two other warp-capable species each claiming dominance. The captain was able to secure peace and dilithium, but not without many hours of mediation on her part and that wasnít until after she got them to stop shooting at her ship.

How do I get into these situations, and how am I going to explain how I get out of them? Janeway shook her head as she rested it in her hands. Thank goodness Seven was familiar with these particular races. Negotiating wearing synthetic dominance pheromones may have been cheating by some standardsÖstop it Kathryn. Thinking pheromones and Seven in the same thought is not good for you.

Before she even realized what she was doing the good captain was up and on her way to the cargo bay.

Seven of Nine stood in her alcove preparing for her nightly regeneration. We succeeded. I was sufficient. Seven was remembering Janewayís praise as they left the dilithium rich planet with their cargo bays full of the power source. She was once again lost in the heat caused by the captainís hand on her shoulder and look of pride on her face.

I want to be close with her. Sevenís face looked pained as she prepared for another cycle accepting the fruitlessness of her dreams.

Captain Janeway walked in to the cargo bay. Her shoulders were slumped with fatigue after hours of battle and days of negotiation. With no more then six hours sleep in the last three days the woman was running on coffee and stubbornness.

I will just peek in and make sure Seven is settled before bed.

The sight of the tall blond in the green glow of her alcove caused Janewayís heart to jump. Janeway smiled a little half smile as she recognized the feeling. Thatís why you come here Katie, just to make sure you are still alive. The woman is still here under the captainís pips. You still have feelings and desires that havenít been choked completely out by this damn trip. Just because you canít act on them, canít talk about them, doesnít mean they arenít there. It doesnít mean you donít need to feel them.

Janeway moved over to base of the alcove. Iíll just sit here for a moment, pretend I belong here, and pretend she would want me here. Janeway wasnít aware that she was falling asleep, just that she felt warm sitting in the green glow at the feet of her beloved.

Seven of Nine stepped out of her alcove and almost tripped over the body of her captain. Fear shot through her as she saw the form lying on Voyagerís deck. She sat down on the small raised platform and pulled the smaller woman into her arms as she tried to assess what injury had caused this startling event. As she cradled the captain in her lap she realized that she was only sleeping. Her sleep was so deep that Sevenís ministrations did not wake her. The sensation of being held must have registered however, because Seven found her neck being circled by two strong arms as the sleeping woman snuggled her head into the Borgís chest.

I am not sure of the protocol for this particular situation, Seven thought and smiled slightly at her own humor. I do not believe that the captain would want to be carried through the ship and I do not want to wake her. Being the efficient being that she was Seven came to a decision and acted on it. Using her Borg ingenuity she was able to override security protocols and beam both women right into the captain's bedroom, a place that Seven had only seen previously in her most private thoughts. Placing Janeway gently on the bed Seven tried to pull away, but the arms around her neck would not let go.

As she gently tugged to try and free herself Seven felt Janeway gripping her more tightly and sighing deeply. Maybe if I lie down for just a minute she will loosen up and I can go. Positioning herself next to her love Seven was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Voyagerís computer, not being sentient, was unaware of the great crime it was committing by announcing the arrival of morning. The two women who were cuddling comfortably awoke simultaneously. Seven was completely alert from the moment she opened her eyes. She looked down at the less than completely conscious woman in her arms and had no idea what to do.

The captain was much slower to become aware of her surroundings. All she knew was that she was comfortable and warm and just had the best night's sleep since she took command of Voyager.

"Mmm,í said Kathryn as she nuzzled her face between Sevenís breasts.

Suddenly the captain became very still. Her face moved out from Sevenís cleavage as she rotated her face upwards and met her eyes. The two women just stared at each other speechless.

Seven finally broke the silence. "Good morning, Captain. It seems that you slept well."

Kathryn opened her mouth to speak, and then closed it again. "Seven I donít know what to say."

Kathryn moved slowly away from her bedmate. Okay I have my uniform on, thatís a good sign. "Can you tell me how it is we came to be in bed together?"

Seven sat up in the bed putting space between the two of them. "I found you asleep in the cargo bay, and when I carried you to your bed, you would not release me. I lay down for a moment and joined you in sleep."

Kathryn stuttered, "You carried me to bed? From the cargo bay? Did anyone see you?"

Seven began to smile a little at Kathrynís discomfort, "No, Captain. I felt that you would not approve of being hauled through the ship so I initiated a transport." Kathrynís relief at that information was almost visible. "But I am wondering Captain; how it is you came to be asleep in my alcove?"

The discomfort was back. "I came down to thank you for your help with the dilithium negotiations, but you were already regenerating. I sat down for a moment and must have dozed off."

By now the two women were standing in the bedroom. Seven crossed the distance between them. She loomed over Janeway and held her in her gaze. "I do not believe that is the entire story, Kathryn." Janeway started at the Borgís use of her given name. "I believe you are attracted to me."

Seven left that statement between them like a photon torpedo and waited for a response. None was forthcoming. After a few moments Seven continued. "I believe you desire a more intimate relationship with me."

The captain still stood quietly locked in Sevenís gaze not responding. After another moment of silence Seven pulled Janeway to her, the captain did not protest. Slowly Seven lowered her head and touched the smaller womanís lips with hers. She gently pressed their mouths together and felt her whole body begin to shake.

For her part Janeway was in shock. Seven of Nine is kissing me in my bedroom. She spent the night and now she is kissing me. Janewayís lips started twitching with humor. Well that is kind of backwards. Leave it to me to finally get someone in my bed after seven years and I donít even get my first kiss until morning. Hell you would expect a Borg to be more efficient than that!

Janeway broke away from the kisses as laughter bubbled up inside her. The tension of the previous days and the shock of this morning all game out in one giant guffaw! Her laughter completely over took her as her eyes started to water.

Seven of Nine backed away in shame. Of all the responses she had imagined laughter was not one of them. She began to blush with her humiliation. Janeway noticed the changed and quickly sobered up. "No Seven please, wait."

"You find me insufficient and laughable. I will go."

"Seven no. I find you beautiful and wonderful. Laughing in moments of tension is one of humanities less than admirable traits." Okay, Katie, time to decide. I think it is clear how she feels about you. There is no doubt how you feel about her. What are you going to do about it? "Seven as Captain I have believed I have to keep myself apart from the rest of the crew. But you are right. I am attracted to you and I do desire you. Donít go."

Seven took a deep shuddering breath. "And if I stay what will you do."

Now it was Kathrynís turn to close the space between them. With tender hands she cupped Seven's face and moved her own in close. "This," she said as she joined their mouths together slowly and gently stroking full lips with her tongue. "And this," she said as she began to run her hands up and down Sevenís back. "And maybe even this," she said as she gently moved Seven towards her bed.

"Computer, log Captain Janeway off duty for personal priorities and inform Commander Chakotay he has the watch." Janeway grinned at Seven as she pushed her back on the bed. "I am glad you are rested, I have been dreaming of this moment a long time."

The two women spent the rest of the day acting out their fantasies and beginning their life anew together.

The End.