An Emergence of Discord

Captain Kathryn Janeway of the USS Voyager looked around the messhall at her crew, feeling intensely proud of what they had accomplished over the past few weeks. The encounter with the starship Equinox had been a trying one -- both physically and emotionally -- for everyone on board the Intrepid-class starship.

At first, they had all been excited to discover another Starfleet vessel in the Delta Quadrant, believing their journey home would be a little easier because they would not be traveling alone. The old adage "strength in numbers" would certainly apply the next time they ran into a hostile species intent on destroying them or stealing their technology.

The Equinox crew, however, turned out to be just as hostile, taking Voyager's field generator. That act left Voyager almost defenseless against the life forms the Equinox had been murdering for fuel.

The betrayal had taken quite a toll as Voyager's crew had had to cope with round-the-clock shifts repairing the damage to the ship, finding a way to communicate with the life forms attacking them, and dealing with a captain who had seemingly gone off the deep end in her obsessive pursuit of the Equinox, and her vengeful desire to punish its captain.

[That's right, Kathryn -- there's no other way to describe it. You did go off the deep end.]

Janeway shook her head slightly, as if in disbelief of what her inner voice was telling her.

The  messhall was decorated with colorful strips of replicated streamers and the light panels had been altered to change colors in random intervals. The music playing in the background was lively, but not intrusive. Voyager. s crew were huddled in numerous small groups, talking and laughing with abandon. There was plenty of food and drink on the tables to keep the festivities going all night.

Janeway took another sip of her bourbon and glanced over at Tom, B'Elanna and Harry. Everyone seemed to be having a good time at Neelix's potluck party, but the captain couldn't bring herself to join the festivities. She didn't feel particularly jovial, and she couldn't help feeling somehow unworthy of the celebration. In fact, a part of her felt genuinely dismayed about her behavior during the crisis. Suddenly, she felt an overwhelming need to be alone, to contemplate exactly why she had reacted the way she had with the Equinox.

No one noticed the captain leave the messhall with drink in hand. She entered the turbolift and was about to say "deck three" when suddenly a thought entered her mind. "Seven," she said aloud. Then, as if anticipating the computer's response, she clarified. . Computer, Deck Eight.. Janeway realized she had not even checked on Seven's condition after captain Ransom had beamed her back aboard Voyager.

She knew Seven would be regenerating in her alcove, as the doctor had insisted she needed at least eighteen hours to make up for the time she had lost while being held captive on the Equinox. Janeway told herself she had no intention of interrupting Seven's cycle...she just needed to see her. And that thought brought a momentary flood of emotions to the surface, most of which the captain of Voyager immediately repressed.

Commander Chakotay approached Neelix and Tuvok, who were talking near the buffet table. His plate was filled to the brim with so much food, it looked as though he were preparing for a two-week away mission!

This was a great idea, Neelix. The crew seems to be enjoying themselves. I notice my contribution to the potluck isn't exactly jumping onto people's plates, though. Perhaps I should leave the catering in your capable hands from now on. It seems my salad-making abilities aren't what they should be.

Indeed,  Commander,. Tuvok responded, . Your replicator skills seem to be somewhat lacking. One can't help but wonder how you managed to survive all these years when left to your own devices.

Thanks, Tuvok. Remind me to never invite you over for dinner,. Chakotay replied playfully. . Seriously, Neelix, you've done a wonderful job. I. ll never underestimate your skills as Morale Officer again.

Well, Commander, I'm just doing what I do best. The crew really seemed to need this little diversion after all we've been through lately. I think the same could be said for the command staff as well, although I notice that Captain Janeway seems to have left the party early,. Neelix said regretfully.

Chakotay looked around the room, then turned back towards his companions. . Could I speak with you for a moment, Tuvok? Will you excuse us, Neelix?

Certainly. Enjoy the rest of the party, gentlemen,. Neelix said cheerfully as he left to mingle with the rest of the crew.

Am I to assume, Commander, that you wish to talk about the captain?. Tuvok asked.

I'm worried about her, Tuvok. You saw how she was during this whole ordeal with the Equinox. She was out of control. She relieved me of duty and, I might add, came pretty close to confining you to quarters as well,. Chakotay explained.

Your observations are correct, but I am unsure as to how any speculation or discussion on our part about the captain's behavior would be beneficial. Perhaps you should mention your concerns to her?. Tuvok suggested.

That's just it, Tuvok. I have spoken with her about it. Her response was not reassuring. That's why I'm talking to you. You know her better than anyone on the ship. I just need to know whether we need to worry...

Tuvok  interrupted him, completing Chakotay's sentence. . You are worried that she will isolate herself from the crew again, as she did when we were traveling through the void,. he offered.

Exactly. I'm not so sure the crew can handle that again, especially now. Morale is already low, Neelix's little party notwithstanding. It was devastating for everyone when the situation with the Equinox didn. t turn out as expected. I don. t think anyone anticipated we. d end up traveling through the Delta Quadrant alone again. If the captain withdraws...well, I'm just not so sure the level of trust and respect she's enjoyed in the past will be given quite so freely.

Tuvok paused before answering. It was true that his long-standing relationship with Captain Janeway afforded him greater understanding and insight into her character and behavior. But he had to admit, the captain was somehow different...something had changed...and he was not so sure he understood her as well as he once had.

Her behavior during recent events had been illogical. Of all the captain's traits he most admired, it was her logic above all others. The truth was, he had seen the captain angry, frightened, regretful, sick, injured, sad, disappointed and mournful...but he had never seen her vengeful and obsessive. Furthermore, throughout their years together, he had never seen captain lose her professionalism. It was true, he was worried about her..but it was not his place to speculate about the captain's behavior and motivation with another crewmember. Especially when he had a fairly good idea as to the causes of Janeway's recent behavior.

I'm afraid, Commander, that we will just have to wait until the captain feels comfortable about discussing this with us,. he finally responded.

Well, I'm  going to be watching her closely, Tuvok. I have no intention of just looking the other way if I think she's losing the ability to make sound command judgments. I'll tell you one thing...this is one of those times when I wish Voyager were equipped with a ship's counselor,. he said. . I'm calling it a night. Enjoy the rest of your evening,. he said as he turned for the door. . Oh, and don't forget. When you have a chance, I'd like to talk with you about possible duty placements for the remaining Equinox crew. I'd like to be prepared for when the captain finally releases them from quarters...assuming, of course, that happens before we reach the Alpha Quadrant,. he added.

Tuvok  nodded, noting the slight hint of sarcasm in Chakotay's voice. He knew the First Officer had been deeply hurt by what had happened, never believing the captain would actually have him relieved of duty for just doing what he believed to be his duty. . Very well, Commander. I shall inform you when my report is complete. Goodnight,. Tuvok said.

Janeway stood to the right of Seven's alcove, unaware that she had been standing there watching the young woman regenerate for the past fifteen minutes. She raised her left hand to her forehead, and rubbed it gently in an attempt to quiet the thoughts that persisted in revealing themselves.

[What are you doing here, Kathryn?]

Janeway allowed her rational self to step in and answer the question, speaking from intellect rather than emotion. I'm here because I'm worried about her.

[And how are your worries going to be alleviated by watching her sleep?]

Well, I don't know. It's just reassuring to see that she's unharmed.

[Good try, but if she had been harmed the doctor would have filed a report about it. Those have been your long-standing orders in regard to Seven of Nine.]

I'm aware of that...but I'm only here because...because it's a captain's duty to look out for her crew.

[Ahhh, duty and responsibility. Come on, Kathryn. There's much more to it than that. The sooner you admit it, the better off we're going to be. Why does it frighten you so much?]

That's enough! Janeway told her little voice, calling a halt to the little internal debate that was raging between her rational self and her emotional self. She found herself becoming more and more uncomfortable with the implications.

There's nothing unusual about my being here, she thought. I'm concerned because I'm responsible for Seven. I'd do no less for any other member of my crew, she rationalized, in an attempt to clamp down on the feelings her heart was desperately trying to express.

The captain looked up again at Seven. She looked so peaceful, so vulnerable...so beautiful standing there oblivious to all that was going on around her. Janeway was surprised by the sudden urge she had to reach out and cover Seven's borg-enhanced left hand with her own. The power of the emotion behind that impulse made her heart flutter. She shook her head, in an attempt to regain some composure and control. Yet, she couldn't take her eyes off the ex-drone.

I am concerned for Seven just as I would be for any other member of my crew, she repeated the words in her head that were now becoming a familiar mantra. Okay, maybe a bit more than other crewmembers...but that's because it was my actions that brought her onboard. I severed her from the Collective, took her away from the only live she had known, forced her to live with us as an individual. I'm, therefore, responsible for her well-being. What is it Chakotay says? Once you save someone's life, you're responsible for it from then on. Well, I saved Seven's life from the borg...not once, but twice.

[And that's your only reason?]

Feeling strangely self-conscious and emotionally vulnerable, Janeway turned to leave the cargo bay. She did not feel like sleeping, and the thought of sitting alone in her quarters was not appealing. The captain decided, instead, to go to sickbay and talk with the doctor about Seven's condition. She had read his report, of course, but for some reason she needed to hear him reassure her that Seven would be fine.

This was not the first time Seven had been abducted, nor was it the first time an invasive procedure had been conducted against her will. Janeway knew that although Seven might recover quickly from the physical trauma she suffered, there were bound to be emotional ramifications. Although he had certainly exceeded his original programming, the captain just was not sure the hologram would be able to help Seven with the intense feelings she was bound to experience.

[That's right, Kathryn...and you're the only one who can help her with those.]

B'Elanna and Harry took one last look over at Tom, who was passed out on the couch of the messhall, and decided to leave him there for the night.

You  know,. Harry said, . he's gonna kill us when he wakes up to find we've left him here.

Well,  it serves him right,. B'Elanna answered. . He should have known better than to try and out-drink me. You'd think after all these times he'd have learned,. she replied with a grin.

Hey, B'Elanna...can I ask you something before you go?

Sure, Harry. What is it?

During the Equinox thing...what do you think the captain would have done if Ransom hadn't agreed to surrender?. he asked. . I mean, do you think she would have destroyed his ship?

B'Elanna paused  a moment before answering. . I don't know...but something was definitely going on with her. It's like she was taking the whole thing personally, you know? I understand she admired the guy, and probably felt as though he had dishonored Starfleet, but it's like she was on a vendetta,. she said. . Considering how crazy she was acting, yeah, I think she would have destroyed them,. she added.

I don't know, I don't think she could have done that...not captain Janeway. I bet she would have just beamed everyone over here and put them in the brig or something,. Harry replied confidently.

Now  who's the crazy one? Are you kidding? There's no way we could have kept that many people in the brig. For how long? All the way back to the Alpha Quadrant? There's no way she could have done that. And she wouldn't have been able to confine them to quarters, either. She'd have to integrate them into our crew eventually, and I can tell you...that would have been a problem. It's going to be hard enough dealing with the ones Ransom beamed over,. B'Elanna replied. . If you ask me, Janeway should have given them a shuttle and left them to figure out their own way home,. she added coldly.

What do you mean?. Harry asked.

Would you have wanted to work with those Pa'toks? They stole our field generator and left us to be destroyed by those...things. You really think anybody would have been happy to have them onboard, to share our resources with them, to be forced to work with them? I wouldn't trust any one of them with my life in a crisis. I can guarantee you there'd be more than a few among Voyager's crew who'd see to it that accidents started happening,. B'Elanna explained.

I don't agree with you, B'Elanna. Sure, there would have been problems at first...but after awhile I'm sure things would have calmed down. It's not right for us to blame them for what happened. That crew, they were only following their captain's orders. What happened to us happened because of him. Can you say you would have reacted any differently if you had been in that situation?. Harry asked.

Jesus, Starfleet, you are so naive! First of all, I can tell you emphatically that I would never agree to murder other life forms just to shave a few years off our journey home. Second of all, I'd certainly never pretend to make friends with another Starfleet crew, only to stab them in the back by stealing their technology and leaving them for dead. I don't care how desperate my situation might be. More importantly, though, I'd never blindly follow orders that I knew to be wrong and immoral. There's no excuse or justification for that, Harry...and I can't believe you'd think there would be,. she replied coolly.

But  murder is justified? There's an excuse for that?. he asked. . You're standing there telling me that Janeway would have been justified in destroying the Equinox?. he asked incredulously.

I didn't say that. I never said I thought she'd be justified. I said that she was behaving so...irrationally, it's possible she might have destroyed them if Ransom hadn't surrendered. And although that realization worries me a bit, I'm not so sure she would have had many other options,. B'Elanna explained.

Well,. Harry replied, . If you're right, a point I'm not conceding, then maybe we should be worried. She's the captain...she's supposed to be trained to handle situations calmly and rationally. She's not supposed to lose control and allow her emotions, whatever they may be, to influence how she ands this ship.

That may be true back in the Alpha Quadrant, Harry, where a captain has the support of the Federation and other Starfleet captains. But we've been lost out here for five years. Maybe it's just finally getting to her? She's not an android, you know. Maybe it's not so easy anymore to be calm and rational all the time?. B'Elanna suggested.

You know what Jennifer Delaney told me? She overheard some crewmen talking on the lower decks. Janeway had one of the Equinox officers shackled in the cargo bay, trying to get him to reveal Ransom's tactical plans. She dropped the force field around the room and threatened to let the life forms kill him if he didn't give her the information. Chakotay actually had to step in and raise the force field before anything could happen. She was that close...she was going to do it -- she was going to sacrifice that guy's life to get the information she wanted. That doesn't concern you?. Harry asked.

Well,. B'Elanna  responded, . some might say he had it coming. Just deserts, if you ask me. Look, Harry, I'm not denying that Janeway lost it. I'm just saying I don't think it's going to affect her ability to command Voyager. I'm not worried that she's going to put this crew or ship in danger. I haven't lost confidence in her, and it's not going to make me respect her any less. Look, I'm really beat. I need to get some sleep. If you have such a big problem with it, perhaps you should talk to someone else about it,. she suggested. . I'm sure Tuvok would love to hear your concerns about the captain,. she added sarcastically.

Yeah, right,. Harry said as he got up to leave.

See you later, Starfleet. And quit worrying so much!. B'Elanna replied.

Computer, activate emergency medical hologram,. Janeway said as she entered sickbay.

Please state the nature of the medical emergency,. the doctor said, once he materialized. . Oh, captain -- it's you. Are you in need of medical assistance?. he asked. The doctor couldn't help but notice the dark circles under the captain's eyes, and he suspected that she was having trouble sleeping again.

I'd like to talk to you about Seven's condition, doctor,. Janeway replied evenly.

At this hour? Surely it can wait until morning, until you've had some sleep,. the doctor responded. . Besides, I've already filed my report on the incident.

Janeway  brought her hands up to her face, and summoned all the self-control she had in an attempt to respond with anything other than a caustic remark. . Yes, I've read your report, doctor. I want to talk with you about any emotional effects the incident may have on Seven.

I  see,. the doctor answered. . Very well, captain. But I still think we should have this conversation after you've had a chance to get some rest.

I'd  really rather do it now, doctor. I want to be prepared for when she finishes regenerating. I understand from your report that you attempted to extract Seven. s cordical array. Can you elaborate on the circumstances of that?. Janeway asked.

The doctor hesitated for a moment and looked down. . Seven had taken the Equinox. s power relays offline and encoded them. Captain Ransom tried to get her to reveal the codes, but she wouldn't. Even after he threatened to take the information by force, she refused to cooperate. She was quite willing to sacrifice herself to keep Ransom from getting those codes and going to warp,. he explained.

Janeway  felt a surge of protectiveness towards her Astrometrics officer, realizing that Seven had once again put Voyager's safety ahead of her own. . Go on,. she encouraged.

Well, Captain Ransom ordered me to extract them...and when I protested, he simply deleted my ethical subroutines. So you see, captain, it's all my fault. I truly regret what I did to Seven, but please believe me, I would never have intentionally harmed her,. he said regretfully.

I  know you wouldn't, doctor. And I'm not accusing you,. she said reassuringly. . I just want to make sure I have all the information about the incident that I need to help her. Now, this procedure you were attempting...was Seven conscious during it?

Yes, she was aware of what I was doing the whole time. She wasn't in any pain, of course, and I don't believe she harbors any ill will or anger towards me as a result,. the doctor answered.

I'm sure she doesn't, at least not consciously. But I suspect the event will trigger uncomfortable memories for her...and I'm anticipating she will experience a certain amount of emotions as a result -- emotions she may not expect or understand,. the captain explained.

Then I will do everything in my power to help her cope with them, captain.. he replied.

That's just it. I want to let you know that I'll be the one to help her with any emotional ramifications she experiences. I appreciate your willingness to help Seven, but with all due respect, I'm not so sure you're capable of it,. Janeway said gently.

The doctor flinched outwardly, not expecting to hear the insult from Captain Janeway. He was about to protest the captain's assessment of his abilities when she continued.

I'm  not questioning your desire, doctor. And I certainly didn't mean that as a disparagement on your abilities. But you realize that as a hologram, albeit one who has admirably exceeded his original programming, you don't have the experiential knowledge to assist Seven in this capacity. You've said it yourself -- your matrix wasn't designed to process psychological subroutines in a therapeutic manner,. Janeway argued. . And surely you remember what happened the last time you tried to incorporate them. The results were not what we'd consider successful. I don't want to take any chances on making Seven go through something like that again,. the captain explained calmly.

The doctor certainly did remember the last time he tried to help Seven with psychological and emotional issues -- it had caused Seven great confusion and distress, and resulted in an innocent man taking his own life. It sadly occurred to him that twice, in the past year, he had inadvertently caused his friend emotional harm.

Very well, captain. Seven should regenerate for another nine hours. Since she won't be able to speak with you until then, I suggest you use the time to get some sleep yourself. I'm sure I don't have to remind you that recent events have been emotionally draining on you as well. You won't do Seven any good in this matter if you're exhausted,. he told her. . If you're having trouble sleeping, I can give you something.

Thank you for your concern, but that won't be necessary. Good night, doctor,. Janeway said as she turned and headed for her quarters.

Captain Janeway threw the covers off in frustration and climbed out of bed. It was clear she was not going to be able to sleep, a fact she begrudgingly accepted after having spent the past two and half hours staring up at the ceiling. She shuffled out to the living area and replicated herself a bourbon on ice, bringing the drink over to the couch. She briefly worried about her choice in beverage, then brushed aside the thought. The lighting in the cabin was dim, but she did not bother to order the computer to increase it.

Taking a sip from her drink, she realized that she still had about two hours before Seven's regeneration cycle would be complete. As she sat in the dark silence of her quarters, her mind slid back to the situation with the Equinox. For a brief moment, she considered that she might actually be in the midst of an emotional crisis...one that was apparently having an effect on how she commanded her ship. And although she had never put much faith in it before, she found herself wishing that Voyager were equipped with a ship's counselor

Okay, Kathryn, you've obviously got a problem here. You can either face it or continue to ignore it. And you've never been one for running away from problems.

[Come on, let's be honest about it. You know exactly what the problem is. It's about Seven of Nine, about your feelings for her...and how you let those feelings affect your actions.]

That's not true,. she said aloud, wishing she could just silence that little voice. . My feelings for Seven had nothing to do with it,. she added, as if saying it out loud would convince herself of it.

Janeway rubbed her forehead, feeling a whale of a headache coming on. Then, gradually, the realization of what she had said struck her. My feelings for Seven? She had trouble comprehending what she had just admitted to herself.

[That's right. And now that we're no longer in total denial, let's explore those feelings.]

Janeway  felt her heart skip a beat and a wave of panic swept over her. . Oh, God,. she said aloud again. Is it possible that what's really going on? She got up from the couch and began pacing the room, running the events over and over again in her head. Sure, she had felt betrayed by Ransom...and there was no denying she was angry and hurt. But she had been betrayed before, and it had never caused her to lose all objectivity.

She allowed herself to think back to Seska, to the time they all discovered that she was actually a Cardassian in disguise. Seska had turned against her, had formed an alliance with the Kazon and actually managed, with their help, to steal Voyager and strand the crew on a hostile planet. Even years later, the memory of that betrayal stung. However, the incident certainly had not turned her into a blindly obsessive person intent on revenge. So, what was different this time? Janeway shook her head, not wanting to believe the obvious conclusion. She stopped pacing and put her hands on her hips.

Seven of Nine. He had taken Seven.

[Go on,] her inner voice urged.

And I had to get her back.

[Why?]

Because she's a member of my crew.

[You've had crewmembers temporarily taken hostage before...it never made you an emotional wreck. What else?]

Janeway paused, having greater and greater difficulty with the turn this internal dialog had taken. Because I care for her...differently than I care for the others.

[How so, differently? Come on! Don't run away from it now...you're so close!]

Janeway sighed and sat back down on the couch slowly, as if in resignation. Because...I love her. Because I don't think I can survive out here in the Delta Quadrant without her. Because every fiber of my being tells me I need to be with her for the rest of my life. God help me, I'm in love with Seven. She brought her hands up to cover her face. . So now what?. she asked aloud, hoping her heart would provide a simple solution that her intellect seemed incapable of grasping.

[You're going to talk to her...tell her how you feel.]

Oh no, I don't think so.

The normally decisive and confident captain of Voyager felt completely lost and hesitant. This was not something she could pursue...was it? She stopped herself...surely she wasn't considering this.

The regulations were absolutely clear on the subject -- it was inappropriate for a captain to become involved with someone under her command.

[But technically she's not under your command -- she's not even a member of Starfleet.]

Janeway ignored her little voice, hoping that by doing so she would circumvent any attempt to convince her a relationship with Seven was a possibility.

[And it's not like Starfleet regulations apply in this instance -- not when you're 50,000 light years from the Alpha Quadrant, unlikely to ever make it back in this lifetime.]

Janeway's rational side couldn't let that one go.

That's hardly a justification...to disregard the rules and regulations just because we're lost in the Delta Quadrant. I. m still a Starfleet officer, and I still have a responsibility to follow Starfleet rules and regulations. However, that first point...well, there might be some validity to that.

Janeway decided to give it more thought, then realized that she had an overwhelming desire to see Seven -- she needed to make sure Seven was all right, to let her know she was available should Seven need to talk about the experience. Realizing she also desperately needed to relax, the captain headed for the bathtub in her ensuite, stripping off her uniform on the way.

Regeneration cycle complete,. the computer announced.

Seven of Nine stepped out of her alcove and headed over to her computer console. She accessed the daily logs for the period during which she was aboard the Equinox, in an effort to learn what had happened after she had been taken by Ransom's crew. Before being ordered to regenerate for at least eighteen hours, the doctor had only told her that the ship and crew were out of danger. Now, as she read the logs, she found that a great deal had taken place while she was gone.

She was particularly intrigued by reports regarding Captain Janeway's unusual actions and behavior during the crisis. Seven noted it was very unlike the captain to function with anything less than rational efficiency when her ship and crew were in trouble. Yet, these logs seemed to indicate the captain had been reacting to the situation with uncontrolled emotion. She had pushed the crew almost beyond their limits in her pursuit of Ransom's ship, had lashed out at her command staff, had nearly allowed an Equinox crewman to be killed by one of the alien creatures, and had made a deal to turn over Ransom's ship to the aliens.

Apparently, the captain had also stopped sleeping and eating. These things concerned Seven greatly, as she knew the captain to be one of the most reasonable and level-headed people she knew. Something must have happened, she concluded.

Seven felt disconcerted by what she was reading, and a sense of worry for the captain came over her. Had the captain been harmed in some way? Seven was surprised to discover the thought of someone hurting the formidable woman brought a wave of powerful emotions. What would cause Captain Janeway to behave so irrationally? Seven looked up from the logs and decided she would ask Tuvok to provide her with more information about what had occurred on Voyager during her absence.

As she was about to leave cargo bay 2, Seven heard the captain's voice over her COMM badge. . Janeway to Seven of Nine.

Yes, captain,. she responded.

If you've finished regenerating, Seven, I'd like to see you in my quarters,. Janeway said.

Certainly, captain. I shall be there shortly,. Seven replied, making a mental note to approach Lt. Tuvok later.

Janeway heard the door chime, but for a brief moment she was unable to move or say anything. She knew that it could only be Seven standing on the other side of that door. The captain wished she had gotten back into uniform after her bath instead of opting for the cool softness of her satin pyjamas. She quickly pulled her robe on and tied it tightly. Although she had been the one to request this meeting, her heart was fluttering wildly.

She also acknowledged, much to her dismay, that she was feeling somewhat nervous...as though she were a school girl about to go on her first date with the boy she had had a crush on for months. Calm down, Kathryn. You're just going to find out how Seven is doing. Nothing else is going to happen here tonight. She took a deep breath before calling out, . come in.

Seven of Nine entered the captain's quarters and stood just inside the door with her hands linked behind her back. She observed that the lighting was lower than usual, there was a half empty glass of an amber liquid on the coffee table and the captain was out of uniform. Janeway crossed the room towards her.

Good, Seven. Thank you for coming so promptly,. the captain said, before she realized the absurdity of her comment -- Seven was nothing if not prompt. Always.

You are welcome, captain. Do you require assistance?. Seven asked, immediately noticing the captain looked tired and...somehow not quite right. Seven could not exactly identify it, but the older woman did not seem herself...as though she were preoccupied by something. Seven noted with curiosity that Janeway was wearing an overly large blue robe that made her appear diminutive in comparison. She wondered why the captain would request her presence if she were intending to regenerate.

No, Seven. That's not why I asked you here. Please, have a seat,. Janeway asked as she motioned to the couch.

I prefer to stand, captain.

I  know you do, Seven, but indulge me,. Janeway said as she reached out, put her hand on the back of Seven's shoulder and guided her across the room. . Would you care for anything?. she asked. She unconsciously rubbed her hand, in an effort to alleviate the electricity tingling through it from the contact with Seven.

No, thank you. I do not require liquid refreshment at this time,. Seven responded in her usual polite and precise manner.

Janeway held out her arm inviting Seven to sit on the couch, then sat down beside her. For a brief moment, she thought she could actually feel the heat radiating from Seven's body. She experienced the simultaneous and contradictory desires to move closer and further away from her Astrometrics officer.

Seven, I asked you here because I heard what happened aboard the Equinox. I am concerned the invasive procedure the doctor performed on you may cause some disturbing emotions...feelings you may not be prepared to deal with. Would you like to talk about what happened? About how you're feeling?. Janeway asked, as she slowly stretched her arm behind Seven so it was resting on the back of the couch.

I do not understand, captain. I see no reason to discuss the event, as no harm has come to me as a result. The situation was neither disturbing nor painful. The doctor would not comply with Captain Ransom's request to extract my cordical array, so they deleted his ethical sub-routines. He was, however, unable to complete the procedure before causing damage to my higher brain functions,. Seven explained.

I'm very relieved to hear that, but I'm not talking about physical pain, Seven,. the captain said as she leaned closer. . There are other ways an individual can be hurt. Sometimes we can feel emotional pain when we've been betrayed or violated, especially by a friend we've trusted,. the captain said gently. . We're not always aware of those feelings unless we talk about them, get them out in the open,. Janeway added.

I  believe your interpretation of the event is inaccurate, captain,. Seven responded. . I do not feel as though the doctor betrayed or violated me. He would not have initiated the procedure had his ethical sub-routines not been deleted. Therefore, one could say he was not himself. He was quite disturbed and regretful about his actions upon our return to Voyager, but I assured him that I harbor no ill will towards him. Thank you for your concern, captain, but I believe I am fine.

Janeway leaned back against the arm of the couch and rubbed her forehead. This wasn't exactly going the way she had intended. Seven was examining the doctor's actions with her head, rationalizing them instead of feeling the effects of those actions with her heart. Perhaps, she thought, a different approach might be in order.

She  looked over at Seven, who was sitting patiently waiting for her to say something. Janeway was momentarily lost, caught in the sparkling, bright blue eyes she found looking back at her. Seeing its moment of opportunity, her inner voice stepped in sarcastically to taunt her. [Go ahead. This one. s right up your alley. Explain why it's not good to be ruled by one's head...why a person shouldn't repress their emotions and put a force field around their heart.]

Seven,.  she began, . I don't think I'm explaining this very well. Let me try it this way. Understanding why things happen is not enough. We are more than just our intellect...we are also emotional beings who feel. And it doesn't matter whether we can make sense of unpleasant events or not...they will, nevertheless, have an emotional impact that we must acknowledge. Dismissing or ignoring them does not make them go away. Do you understand what I'm saying?. Janeway asked.

I am not sure. The borg believe emotion to be irrelevant, therefore I do not have much experience with such things.

Janeway  smiled and reached out to put her hand on Seven's knee. . I know. That's why I suggested we talk about it, Seven. Perhaps I can help you identify, and focus on, whatever feelings you might be experiencing? Are you willing to try?. she asked gently, not wanting to pressure the young woman into doing something she was not comfortable with.

Seven paused before answering. She knew enough about emotional responses brought on by traumatic events, to know that she was experiencing nothing negative in regard to her abduction aboard the Equinox. But obviously this was important to the captain for some reason, so she decided to comply with the exercise.

Seven  wondered whether she should tell Captain Janeway the only strong feelings she experienced, occurred once she was back onboard Voyager. She decided she would just describe them, and let the captain help her to understand them. . Yes, that would be acceptable,. she answered.

Good. Okay. Lean back on the couch and relax. I want you to close your eyes and focus on those feelings. Don't describe the environment or the circumstances to me, I want you to describe any emotions you may be experiencing,. Janeway instructed.

Seven did as the captain asked, and let her mind drift back to those first moments back in sickbay. The doctor had asked her to wait there, until he had a chance to examine her cordical array for any damage she may have suffered as a result of the procedure. She did not enjoy lying on the examination table, and wished the doctor would direct his attention instead to the other crewmembers present.

I was feeling impatient and annoyed,. she said. Seven controlled the urge to open her eyes and look over at the captain, in an effort to determine whether she was doing this correctly. She remembered back to those moments in sickbay when she had tried to get the doctor to tell her how the conflict with Captain Ransom had been resolved. He continually refused to tell her anything, stating she must comply with his examination then regenerate.

Good, that's a start. Please, continue. Don't stop...just say whatever comes to you,. Janeway urged excitedly, glad she had made the decision to talk with Seven about the incident. She wondered whether perhaps she, herself, had some abilities as a ship's counselor.

Captain, I do not see the relevance of this exercise. I do not believe any of these emotions are causing me to function inefficiently,. Seven said, feeling slightly ridiculous sitting with her eyes closed.

That's just it, Seven,. the captain said gently. . You really have no way of knowing how they may be affecting you, if you ignore them. They inevitably will have some influence over your actions; unless you examine them honestly, you'll never understand what that affect will be. If you really aren't having any problems, then no harm is done. Okay?. Janeway encouraged.

Very well. I will continue,. Seven responded reasonably. . In addition to feeling annoyed and impatient, I also experienced confusion and worry,. she added.

Let's focus on those last two feelings and try to identify their root causes. Why were you feeling confusion, Seven? Was it because you did not understand why the doctor was behaving the way he was? Were you worried about your personal safety?. Janeway asked hopefully, thinking they were perhaps on the verge of a breakthrough. Maybe Seven isn't as out-of-touch with her feelings as we think. . Those can be very strong emotions, Seven, so I want you to focus on what may have caused you to feel that way.

Seven opened her eyes to look up at the captain, then hesitated. She knew exactly why she experienced such emotions, but she doubted the captain would really want to hear the reasons. She didn't want to make Janeway uncomfortable, especially considering all she had been through herself lately...but it was the captain who had initiated the conversation and seemed to believe such revelations were important. So, she decided to comply with her wishes.

I believe I experienced confusion because you did not come to sickbay upon my return to Voyager to check on my condition. You have always been very interested in my well being, captain, so your absence on that occasion was puzzling. I began to experience worry, when it occurred to me that perhaps you were angry or displeased with me...that you felt I had failed you, by allowing myself to be captured on the Equinox. These feelings were most disturbing at the time, but I do not believe they will impair my ability to perform my duties. As I do not wish to disappoint you further, captain, I will endeavor to control these emotions,. Seven said earnestly.

Seven didn't blame Captain Janeway for being disappointed in her -- she was disappointed in herself. She only hoped the captain would once again be able to trust sending her on dangerous away missions. The look on Janeway's face, however, made Seven feel very apprehensive.

Tom Paris woke up in the messhall, but it took him a few moments to realize where he was. The room was illuminated by only the nightwatch setting, and there were only a few crewmembers present, people from the gamma shift who were taking breaks from their duties. Obviously, the party had concluded and he had been left alone here. He considered heading to his quarters, but decided he might as well just stay up since his duty shift began in only three hours.

He glanced over to the kitchen, where the lights were a little brighter, and wondered whether Neelix had perhaps left a pot of coffee brewing. He sat up slowly, his head nevertheless protested the movement by sending a sharp jolt of pain to his temples. . Damn,. he muttered, . not again. When will I learn to stick with synthehol?. he moaned. He made a mental note to thank B'Elanna for leaving him passed out on the couch, then gingerly ambled over to the kitchen.

Ah, Neelix...I knew you wouldn't let me down,. he said when he found a pot of relatively fresh-brewed coffee. Carefully, Tom brought his beverage back to a table near the the back of the messhall and sat down. He was staring out the window, when he couldn't help overhearing the conversation that was going on at the next table.

You think that's bad...you should see what I'm doing. They've got me taking inventory of the food supplies down in cargo bay one. Can you believe that? I've got seven years of Starfleet service and four years experience in engineering, and I'm counting turnips. As if being stuck on the gamma shift weren't bad enough!

Tom glanced over to the table, not recognizing any of the three crewmembers sitting there. Of course, he did not personally know every member of Voyager's crew, but he had worked enough gamma shifts during various emergencies over the years to at least recognize faces.

Then, it occurred to him that they were probably former members of the Equinox crew. He knew they were no longer restricted to quarters, the captain having recently released them, but he was not aware they had actually been assigned duties somewhere. If it had been up to him, he thought angrily, he would have left them confined to quarters a lot longer. As it was, he was just glad he did not have to work with any of them.

I don't know how these people managed to survive it all these years, Angelo. We all know what it's like being stranded thousands of light years from home, but that woman has a serious attitude problem! And you know what I heard the other day on the lower decks? They said she's lost it -- that she's making irrational decisions and she flies off the handle at the slightest provocation.

Tom's ears perked up again. They better not be talking about B'Elanna. He realized that she would have mentioned it, if she had come into contact with any of them. His curiosity was peaked now, but he had to strain to hear them because they had lowered their voices. Angelo, that must be Angelo Tesoni. He tried to recall the names he had read in the daily log when Captain Janeway made an official note that she had stripped the Equinox people of rank. Yeah, Angelo Tesoni, James Morrow and Brian...Brian something. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Hey, Paris. Mind if I join you?

Chapman! Sure. What are you doing up this early?. Tom replied. Although he hadn't had much opportunity to interact with Lieutenant William Chapman, Tom found him to be a fairly likable guy.

I've been pulling a double down in Engineering. We've been having trouble with some of the bio-neural gel packs. I've been at it for six hours straight and needed to get out of there for a bit,. Chapman explained.

Why don't you give Seven of Nine a call? B'Elanna says she has a pretty good touch when it comes to the gel packs,. Tom teased, knowing that Bill had recently gone on a date with Seven. The date didn't turn out very well, landing Bill in Sickbay with a torn ligament in his shoulder, but Tom admired the guy's courage in even accepting Seven's invitation in the first place. More importantly, though, Bill had been gracious and understanding with Seven afterwards. It was even rumored that he later endured a great deal of ribbing from crewmates about the incident, and did so in a good-natured manner.

Uh...thanks  for the suggestion, but I think I'll pass,. he replied. Bill took a swallow of orange juice and looked over at the other table. . It's kinda strange working the gamma shift...so many of the crew are unfamiliar to me, I feel like I'm on an entirely different ship. I don't recognize any of those people,. he said.

Yeah,  well, there's a good reason why you don't recognize them,. Tom said, nodding in the direction of the Equinox crew. . That's not our crew -- they're from the Equinox,. he added with a hint of disgust in his voice.

Oh. I didn't know their duty assignments had been made yet.

Apparently they have been...and from what I've overheard, they've pulled some nasty duty. They've been sitting there for the past twenty minutes complaining about it. I don't think they're getting along with their immediate superior, either. I haven't been able to figure out who it is yet, but they've been making some pretty unflattering comments about her,. Tom explained. . If I find out they're talking about B'Elanna, I'm going to pound my fist down their throats,. he added.

Janeway  felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her, and for a few moments she was unable to speak. Unconsciously, she pulled the robe tighter around herself. She was stunned by Seven's admission and could only manage to stare in disbelief, occasionally blinking her eyes in an attempt to make sense of what she had just heard. When she was finally able to speak, all she could muster was a whispered, . Seven.

The captain's unexpected response had not gone unnoticed by her Astrometrics officer, who immediately regretted her decision to be so forthright in her response. She waited patiently for Janeway to regain her composure and say something. Seven noted that the older woman was indeed correct -- emotions could have a very unexpected affect on one's behavior. She wondered whether she should mention that the captain had gone completely pale, then decided against it.

Janeway  shook her head slightly, as though she were trying to clear it of cobwebs, and said . Seven...Seven, what are you talking about?

It occurred to Seven that perhaps her answer had taken the captain completely by surprise...and it seemed to have caused considerable confusion, as well. She was not aware that the mere discussion of an emotion by an individual could cause the same emotion to be experienced by the other party. Seven was beginning to find this examination of feelings very intriguing -- perhaps she should give it further study. She looked back up at the captain, who was staring at her with an odd look on her face.

I do not understand your question, captain. You asked me to explain the nature of my emotional responses. I believe that is what I was doing. Have I made an error?. she asked.

Janeway got up from the couch and walked over to the replicator. She found herself trying to grasp what Seven had just told her. How in the world could Seven's feelings possibly involve her? She felt as though she were suddenly walking on very unsteady ground, that somehow this discussion had taken a very unexpected turn in her direction. Then, the full implication of what Seven had revealed hit her with the force of an uncontested impact from a velocity disk. I. m the cause of Seven's negative emotions!

Janeway turned back around to see Seven watching her intently, waiting for her to say something. [Go ahead, Kathryn. Explain to her why you didn't visit her in sickbay. You can't just stand there and let her think it was because of something she had done.]

The captain cleared her throat and walked slowly back to the couch. Perhaps she could somehow deflect the issue, come up with an answer that wouldn't leave her quite so emotionally exposed? She was not sure whether she was prepared for the kind of discussion an honest answer would provoke. A small part of her, however, doubted that any form of subterfuge would work with Seven -- it was simply impossible to pull one over on her astute Astrometrics officer.

Seven, I was attempting to help you resolve any feelings you may have had while onboard the Equinox. I don't really see how anything I may or may not have done after the fact is relevant to that discussion,. she said quickly, hoping she would be able to get the conversation focused back on Seven.

As I stated previously, captain, I experienced no adverse emotions while onboard the Equinox. The only strong feelings I have experienced recently were concerning you,. Seven said simply.

[Well, that certainly lays it out on the table, doesn't it? What is it you were just telling Seven about the dangers of avoiding her emotions? Don't you think it's time to follow your own advise, Kathryn?]

Janeway wondered how she had managed to get herself into this situation. How could she have allowed herself to be totally blind-sided? And she realized, with a bit of apprehension, that there was no way she would be able to avoid the discussion that was about to occur. She owed it to Seven to be honest with her. [And you owe it to yourself to be honest about this.]

Janeway took a breath, then reached out and took Seven's hand in her own. . Seven, I am so sorry my actions made you feel confused and worried. Believe me, it had nothing to do with your performance. I was not, in any way, disappointed with you,. she said honestly. . It's just that I was very busy with ship's business and didn't have a chance to get down to sickbay,. she lied.

She simply was not ready to admit the real reasons for her absence...that she had felt guilt over losing Seven to Ransom in the first place, and that she had been stunned to subsequently discover just how much the young woman meant to her. . I did read the doctor's report on your condition, though,. she offered, hoping the admission would convince Seven that she had indeed been concerned for her. . I knew you had not been physically harmed,. she added.

Seven  considered Janeway. s response, and it made her feel a little better. At least she knew the captain was not angry or disappointed in her. Still, Seven thought, something was not quite right. In the past, whenever she had been abducted, the captain had always gone after her. She had even risked her own safety, and that of Voyager, to bring her back from the borg.

Yet  according to the logs Seven had read, the captain's decision to pursue the Equinox had nothing to do with her being taken by Ransom. In fact, Voyager. s commanding officer had emphatically denied that conclusion when her First Officer suggested it was the cause of her irrational behavior. Obviously, the borg deduced, Janeway no longer felt the same way about her. This thought made her feel strangely saddened, although she was not sure why.

Captain, I was surprised by the accounts I read concerning your behavior during the crisis. Your actions were very...unlike you -- illogical, insensitive and seemingly motivated by revenge. Perhaps the incident caused you to experience emotions you were not anticipating? If what you said earlier is true, ignoring those emotions may have had a negative impact on your behavior,. Seven offered.

Janeway  could not help but smile at Seven's perceptiveness. She wondered how a person who had been raised by the borg could be so observant when it came to human emotions. She acknowledged she was feeling very drawn to Seven...as though she could trust her with her heart...and that knowledge filled her with warmth, not the dread she had anticipated. All the significant moments of her life passed before Janeway. s eyes, as she realized she was about to have another one.

I think you may be right, Seven. I was definitely not feeling like my old self,. Janeway said with a smile.

Perhaps you should talk about that, captain. As you yourself have said, it can often be helpful to examine the emotions you have experienced,. Seven suggested.

Janeway laughed, noting the irony of the situation. She had brought Seven to her quarters to help the young woman better understand her emotions, and it was now Seven offering to help her. The tables had been turned, so she decided to go with it. [That's right, Kathryn...besides, resistance is futile.] And Seven was probably right -- she obviously needed to talk about it. In an unexpected moment of clarity, the fearless Captain of Voyager knew what she had to do.

Tom took the last bite of his bacon and eggs, then washed it down with another swallow of coffee. The repast had helped ease his hangover, but the headache remained as a dull reminder of the previous night's indulgences. It was not helped by the increased noise level in the room, as more and more alpha shift crewmembers trickled in for breakfast. Tom looked up and saw Harry at the replicator.

Oh,  there's Harry. He better not spend too many replicator rations on breakfast this morning,. Tom joked. . We made a bet last night on our next hoverball match -- a week's worth of replicator rations. He thinks he figured out a foolproof strategy to beat me. Poor Harry...he never learns!. Tom said shaking his head.

Harry  saw them from across the room and walked over to join them. . You're both up early. Good morning, Bill. So, Tom, how are you feeling. he asked playfully.

Just great, Harry. For some reason, I found myself waking up on the couch over there. Do I have you to thank for that?. Tom asked sarcastically.

Don't  look at me,. Harry replied, putting his hands up in self-defense. . You're the one who passed out. Besides, it was B'Elanna's idea to leave you there. She said it would make you think twice the next time you try to out-drink her,. he added with a slightly sympathetic expression.

Harry began recounting the events of the party for Bill, who had been working and missed it, and for Tom who, unfortunately, could not remember much of it at all. During a slight break in his discourse, the silence allowed them to overhear the conversation that had resumed at the next table.

I'm telling you...she's a cold-hearted, stiff, self-righteous and arrogant bitch! Can you believe what she almost did to Lessing? I really think she gets off on power. You know what I also overheard ? She was engaged for years to some guy on Earth, but she wouldn't marry him. I bet she's a dyke...it would certainly explain a lot of things.

Their curiosity peaked, Tom, Harry and Bill glanced at each other with raised eyebrows as they wondered about whom James Morrow was speaking.

You're probably right, Jim. I heard a couple of ensigns talking about how much private time she spends with that pet borg drone of hers. I wouldn't doubt they've got some sick, unnatural thing going. What I can't believe is where she gets off making comments about Captain Ransom's character and professional behavior!

It took a few moments, but as soon as Tom heard Sophum refer to Seven of Nine, he realized who they were talking about. He immediately stood from the table and looked over at the Equinox crewmembers. The fair-haired helmsman briefly considered just leaving the room, then decided there was no way he was going to just let their comments about Captain Janeway slide. Harry and Bill looked up at him, and understanding his intent, also got out of their seats. They followed Tom's lead as he walked over to the next table.

Hey, buddy,. Tom said, . I couldn't help overhearing your conversation and I think you've made a bit of a mistake,. he added.

Oh, yeah? And what mistake might that be?. Brian Sophum answered defiantly.

Well, I might have misheard you, but it sounded like you were talking about Captain Janeway,. Tom replied.

So what? I don't remember including you in the conversation. Perhaps you should mind your own business,. Sophum answered with a touch of challenge in his voice.

That's your  second mistake -- it is my business,. Tom said glancing over at Harry. . That's my captain you're talking about,. he added in a threatening tone. . I think you need to apologize for the comments you made about her.

All three  of the Equinox crewmembers stood from the table and pushed their chairs back against the wall. . Yeah, we were just talking about how much we pity you having been stuck under her command all these years. What makes you think we. re going to apologize for stating the facts?. Morrow asked.

Tom  looked over at Harry and saw that the ensign's hands were balled into fists. Harry took a step forward and said . You don't know anything about facts...and you're going to apologize for insulting the captain.

Morrow looked  over at Sophum and laughed. . Janeway's not half the Captain Ransom was. She's a pathetic, power-hungry, loose cannon who's gone over the edge. If Voyager were in the Alpha Quadrant right now, she'd be busted down so fast it'd make her self-righteous head spin. Too bad you don't have a ship's counselor onboard, because she really needs help. Especially considering that sick sexual thing she has going with that drone. Do you suppose she's thinking of Starfleet protocol when that borg. s face is between her legs?. Morrow asked sarcastically.

That last comment was simply too much to let pass. Interestingly, it was Harry who moved first. He lunged at Morrow, grabbed a handful of uniform and landed a solid right cross on the surprised crewman's face. As Morrow stumbled backwards, momentarily stunned, Sophum stepped forward and hit Harry squarely in the solar plexus, dropping him to his knees as the wind was knocked out of him.

Tom moved quickly and managed to get off a great left-right combination, sending Sophum flying backwards over the table. When Tesoni moved towards Tom, Chapman grabbed him from behind and, pinning his arms in place with what looked like a bear hug, kept him from joining the action. Harry was on his feet again, matching Sophum blow for blow in a furious exchange of punches.

Tom smiled briefly, as he realized he had underestimated his good friend. Didn. t know you had it in you, Harry! Unfortunately, that lapse in attention was all it took -- he didn. t see Morrow coming up behind him, and couldn. t get out of the way before being knocked over the head with a food tray. As he fell to the deck, Tom was vaguely aware of other Voyager crewmembers heading over to their location. The last thing he remembered before everything went dark, was someone's voice calling for security.

S . Well, I'm not really sure I know where to begin, Seven. I think these feelings have been with me for awhile...long before the whole thing with the Equinox happened,. Janeway began tentatively.

She felt as though she were teetering on a precipice, enitirely capable of either standing there forever or jumping. The captain weighed the consequences of both options carefully, then made the only decision her heart would allow. She took an unsteady breath and decided to jump.

Did you know that I often go down to Cargo Bay Two when you're regenerating...just so I can watch you? I did the same thing the night you were returned from the Equinox,. Janeway continued.

No, I was not aware of that. Why would you wish to watch me regenerate, captain?. Seven asked innocently.

Because doing so always makes me feel better, Seven. I'm not sure I understand it, but somehow it makes me feel contented and happy. I just feel better when I know that you're...safe. It also.... Janeway said, before Seven interrupted her.

That is illogical, captain. I am always safe when I am aboard Voyager,. Seven said matter-of-factly.

Seven, please...don't interrupt me, otherwise I'll never get it out. I know it's not logical...but emotions never are logical,. she said, then paused to watch Seven's reaction. Does Seven understand what I just said? Does she comprehend the full meaning of that confession?

Seven merely raised an eyebrow, as she processed the information with a somewhat perplexed expression on her face. Still, she remained silent, allowing Janeway to continue.

Feeling  bold and resolute in her decision, Janeway forged ahead. . It's the same reason I'm constantly coming down to Astrometrics to conduct scans, instead of running them from the bridge as I used to do. Have you ever wondered why I would do that, Seven?. she asked.

It did seem somewhat inefficient for you to constantly leave the bridge for scans, captain, especially when I am perfectly capable of conducting them myself. Initially, I believed it was because you didn't trust in my abilities. I have since concluded, however, that you must simply prefer the equipment in Astrometrics to that on the bridge,. Seven said logically.

It's not that I prefer being in Astrometrics,. Janeway explained. [There's no turning back now, Kathryn, so don't get cold feet.] . It's that I prefer being with you,. she said finally.

Seven  waited to see whether the captain was finished, not wanting to interrupt again. But when Janeway didn't immediately continue, Seven said the only thing she could think of at the time. . I see. That is an...interesting explanation, captain. That is an emotional response for you? I do not understand. Please explain,. she asked.

Janeway  smiled broadly and answered in a soft voice, . Well...yes, I suppose it is. This is not easy to explain, Seven, but I'll try. My desire to be near you is motivated by emotions...pretty strong emotions. And it's not just because you're a member of my crew or because I liberated you from the borg...it's...well, it's more than that.

The captain got up from the couch again and began pacing back and forth. She was suddenly very aware of her informal attire, which only served to increase the nervousness she was experiencing. She had anticipated this was not going to be easy; it was no consolation to discover she had anticipated correctly. Kathryn Janeway had never really been comfortable talking about her emotions -- doing so always made her feel exposed and vulnerable, something she was not fond of in any circumstance. That she had only just recently come to terms with her true feelings for Seven, the task was even more difficult.

She continued, without turning to look directly at Seven. . I didn't understand it for a very long time; once I did, it was difficult to reconcile the conflict I saw between the nature of those feelings and my professional responsibility as your captain. So, I tried to ignore my feelings, tried to shove them back to the deep recesses of my heart. But, as I mentioned earlier, Seven, that rarely works. In retrospect, I think my subconscious attempts to bury those feelings are what affected my behavior while you were gone. When I told Chakotay you were not the reason for my pursuit of Ransom, I was really just trying to convince myself there were other reasons,. Janeway explained. She turned around and captured Seven. s eyes with her own. . I know, now, there weren't.

Tuvok was already awake and preparing for his duty shift when the communication came in from the security team. He hadn't been given much information, only that there had been an incident in the messhall earlier, but it concerned him. Although the potluck party the night before had been lively, he couldn't recall seeing any behavior that would suggest his security teams should be on the alert. Generally speaking, it was highly unusual for there to be incidents that required disciplinary action after such gatherings.

Tensions had been high recently on the ship, and his security teams had reported minor conflicts between members of Voyager's crew and those from the Equinox, primarily in the form of verbal confrontations. He hadn't alerted Chakotay or the captain about it, because he didn't believe they represented a serious problem. The Vulcan castigated himself about it, now realizing he should have been monitoring the situation more closely.

Tuvok entered the brig to find, Chapman, Paris and Kim in one holding cell and James Morrow, Brian Sophum and Angelo Tesoni in the adjacent cell. After receiving the incident report from the on-duty security officers, he approached the first holding cell with his hands held behind his back. He looked first at Harry, who seemed a little embarrassed about being there, then at Paris, who seemed in worse shape physically than the others.

Lieutenants  Paris and Chapman, Ensign Kim,. he addressed them formally. . Would you care to make a statement regarding this morning's incident?. he asked.

Tom  looked over at Bill and Kim. When neither one of them made a move to answer Tuvok's question, he stepped forward. . We got into a fight,. he said simply.

That much is evident, Lieutenant. I am attempting to ascertain the events that precipitated the altercation,. Tuvok responded. . It is uncharacteristic for you gentlemen to engage in violent behavior,. he noted.

Well,. Harry began, . they said some things we didn't like, Commander. We just couldn't let them get away with it,. he explained.

That is hardly a reason for engaging in such activities, Ensign. You are Starfleet officers -- I would expect you to handle such problems in a more appropriate manner. As you are well aware, there are official procedures for mediating personal disputes. What was said that caused you to ignore standard protocols?. Tuvok asked.

Uh...well, it was.... Harry began uncomfortably, when Tom stepped in and interrupted him.

Look, Tuvok...it's no  big deal. Can't you just file the report and leave it at that?. he asked. . It doesn't matter what was said,. Tom added, hoping they wouldn't have to go into details about it. . Just let us know how long we. re gonna have to stay in here.

I am afraid I can't do that, Mr. Paris. Violent  incidents aboard the ship are a...'big deal' and I am required to gather all pertinent facts before presenting my report to the captain,. Tuvok explained. . She will be the one to determine your punishment,. he said calmly.

Bill looked over at Harry, who in turn glanced at Tom. Tuvok noticed the nonverbal exchange and thought he had actually seen Harry  flinch at the mention of Captain Janeway. The Vulcan wondered why they were so reluctant to discuss the matter in more detail. His instincts told him there was  more to this than they were letting on...that they were covering up for someone  or something.

Commander, if we tell you what was said, could you possibly keep it off the record?. Bill asked reasonably. . We'd...uh...rather this didn't get back to the captain,. he added.

The captain needs to know if there's a problem between members of her crew, Lieutenant. As Chief of Security, I am not at liberty to keep information from her,. Tuvok explained.

It's not that, Tuvok. It's just that...well, the comments made were about the captain. And frankly...well...we'd rather not have to repeat it. I mean...we just don't think it's anything the captain needs to  hear,. Tom explained.

Indeed,. Tuvok said, as he characteristically raised his left eyebrow. . It is not your decision to make, however. I will be the one to make that determination, Mister Paris. I assure you, if I deem it unnecessary  for the captain to know the specific comments made, I shall leave them out of my report. That is the best I can do. Will that be sufficient?. he asked plainly.

Tom, Harry and Bill stepped away from the force field to discuss Tuvok's offer. Tom mentioned there was no way Tuvok could force the  information from them, but Harry pointed out that Tuvok, as Chief of Security, was the best person to decide whether the captain needed to know what was being  said about her. Bill added that if the captain did need to be informed, Tuvok  would be the one telling her...not them. He also reminded his friends that since the information would most likely hurt and embarrass the captain, it was better she hear it from Tuvok.

All right, Tuvok,. Tom said, . we'll start from the  beginning. I gotta tell you, though...I don't envy the position you're going to  be in,. he added grimly.

Janeway stood absolutely still, not wanting to break the eye contact. She tried to gauge the young woman's reaction to this information, but could not read her. Seven was merely watching her intently, hands folded neatly on her lap. The captain was not sure whether this was a good or a bad  thing, then she suddenly panicked. Where am I going with this? She realized she had not even thought that far ahead. Do I simply want Seven to know how I feel, how important  she is to me? Or do I wish to pursue a relationship with her? Janeway was slightly amazed she was actually considering the latter. . Oh, god,. the captain  said, instantly regretting that she had said it aloud.

Captain, are you alright?. Seven asked.

Janeway laughed, then said, . That's a good question,  Seven. I honestly don't know.

It is quite late, captain. Perhaps you should...get  some sleep?. Seven asked with concern.

That's the last thing I need right now, Seven. I assure you...I want to continue our conversation. I'll let you know if I need to  go to sleep. Now, can you tell me how you feel about what I just said?. she  asked.

I am not sure. I am feeling...relieved that you were not disappointed in me. And I am...glad that you wished to go after me when I  had been taken aboard the Equinox,. Seven replied. She paused and tried to  identify what else she was feeling. She was having difficulty, however, because  the information was somewhat confusing to her. . You have mentioned having feelings for me, but I am not sure I understand what you mean,. Seven admitted.

[Well...we knew this wasn't going to be easy, didn't we, Kathryn? Seven doesn't have much experience with feelings...certainly not the kind you're talking about. It seems you'll have to spell it out for her.]

Captain Janeway sighed audibly, wondering whether she  was up to the task. She felt absolutely drained emotionally, and had not even  considered how she would deal with it should Seven reject her. Janeway tried to imagine how such an outcome would affect her working relationship with the  ex-borg. And, simply not having any similar past experiences to fall back on, she concluded that there was only one way to find out. She took another deep breath, and returned to the couch to sit next to Seven.

Seven, you have come to mean a great deal to me. My  feelings for you are unlike those I have for any other member of this crew. I've  already told you how I feel when we're together, whether we're working in  Astrometrics, playing Velocity or in the Maestro's studio. What I haven't told you, is how I feel when I'm not with you. And perhaps that will help clarify  things for you,. Janeway said.

Indeed,. Seven responded. . Please continue.

Well, Seven, I've come to realize that when we're  apart I feel a little...lost, somehow -- lost and distracted. I can't concentrate on my duties. I. m not able to keep my mind from wandering to the  last time we were together, or from wondering where you are and what you're doing. I can't stop thinking about the next time I'm going to see you. It's very  inefficient...and entirely unprofessional...but I seem unable to help myself,. Janeway explained in a soft voice.

The captain took note of the fact that her heart had begun to beat much faster than normal. She also detected a slight tingling  sensation in the pit of her stomach. Somehow, the act of expressing her feelings  aloud to Seven was serving to clarify things in her own mind -- there was no  mistaking the true nature of the feelings she was describing. Still, being somewhat rusty in such matters, Janeway had the distinct impression she was  fumbling around.

It's really quite an unusual feeling for me, Seven, to be so...out-of-sorts all the time. I've always been pretty good at maintaining  control over my emotions. And I'm not used to wanting, needing the company of  another person so much. I've always been very self-sufficient and somewhat solitary. Even when I was with Mark, I always enjoyed, sometimes even preferred, being alone. And I never considered myself to be the kind of person who needed  someone else to make them feel whole. But something has changed, Seven. I'm  finding myself wanting to spend every waking moment with you,. Janeway said with  difficulty. She paused to gauge Seven's reaction, which was unreadable. . Am I making any sense here, Seven? I have a feeling I've been rambling, but do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?. she asked hopefully.

Seven considered what she had heard so far, and looked up at Janeway with a hint of surprise in her expression. . Yes, captain. I believe you are attempting to tell me that you enjoy my company. You are also, however, worried that your desire to spend time with me will affect your ability  to command this ship. I wish you to know that I enjoy spending time with you, as  well. And I shall assist you in ensuring our activities do not interfere with your duties. I am borg -- I am quite proficient in time management,. Seven said  sincerely.

Janeway smiled at the offer, recognizing one of the  things she absolutely loved about Seven -- her complete willingness to devote  her energies in assisting someone with a problem...regardless of how insignificant or irrational she might think it to be. Janeway was also warmed by  the young woman's innocence, her apparent inability to believe that someone  would actually enjoy being in her company. But, the nagging fear that she had  been dancing around the issue, rambling incoherently, was suddenly confirmed. Janeway mentally kicked herself for not taking the direct approach. [This is Seven you're talking to, Kathryn. You have got to be more precise if you expect her to understand what the hell you're talking about,] her inner voice  complained. OKAY! Okay, already! she shouted mentally.

That's partly true, Seven. I do enjoy your company.  You are a fascinating, caring, intelligent, curious, compassionate and wondrous  individual. You've even developed quite a sense of humor recently. But the true nature of my feelings are motivated by much more than simply enjoying your  company. I have fallen in love with you, Seven,. Janeway said gently with a quiver in her voice. She stopped there, partly so she could regain some control  over her breathing...and most definitely because she had absolutely no idea what  to say or do next.

Seven of Nine, formerly the Tertiary Adjunct to  Unimatrix 01, tried to logically process that last bit of information. At first,  she thought perhaps she had misheard the captain... and internally castigated  herself for allowing her concentration to lapse during a conversation which  apparently was quite important to the captain. No, you  are not in error. Captain Janeway did, indeed, just say she has fallen in love with you.

Unfortunately, being entirely unfamiliar with such things, Seven had no idea what her response should be. Her lessons with the doctor had simply not included such potentialities as someone declaring their  love for her. In fact, she noted, her . dating. lessons had been insufficient in  many regards. Yet, she knew some response on her part was expected...so she offered one.

I see,. Seven said while the corner of her eyebrow crawled up her forehead. Unfortunately, she was not entirely sure she did see. She quickly accessed all the information she had acquired regarding . love. and . falling in love. and concluded that most such relationships, while encompassing undeniably intense emotional responses, also tended to involve a physical component...often just as intense.

Is that what Captain Janeway desires? Seven suddenly felt very inadequate, very aware of the fact she really had very little knowledge of what that would entail...and whether she would be even be capable of...expressing herself with the captain . that way..  She was not even sure she wished to be romantically involved with the captain.  Not being sure of what to say next, Seven remained silent as she contemplated  the possibilities.

Janeway thought Seven would have more to say, but when nothing more was forthcoming she felt as though she were in the middle of a very  poorly written holonovel. She was acutely aware of the silence that settled over the room. The captain glanced at door of her quarters, then over to the  replicator, then back at Seven. She fought back an overwhelming urge to make  some sort of respectable excuse and flee the room. For a split second, she  fervently wished that Chakotay's voice would boom over the COMM system to inform  her that something, anything, required her  attention on the bridge. Unfortunately, that was unlikely to happen in the  middle of the night...and the Alpha shift wasn't even on duty yet.

Then, the absurdity of the situation struck her. That's it? That's all she's going to say??? She wondered whether Seven's mind had wandered and she missed the confession? [Seven's mind never wanders.] In a desperate  attempt to make sense of what was happening, she postulated that Q had somehow  reappeared and was now torturing her for his personal enjoyment. It would be right up his alley to torment me like  this.

[There's no devious, omnipotent influence here,  Kathryn,] her inner voice reasoned. [This is about one very lonely, emotionally  parched Starfleet captain and one very lonely, emotionally inexperienced ex-drone.]

Janeway realized she needed to know, one way or the  other, what Seven was thinking and feeling.

Commander Chakotay put the padd down and looked up at  Tuvok. He was not pleased about being woken up so early in the morning, but the  security chief had requested a private meeting on an important security matter before the Alpha Shift began. Chakotay could understand, after reading the  report about the incident in the messhall, why Tuvok would seek his advice. Furthermore, as First Officer, he had to be involved in all matters pertaining to crew assignments.

This report is very troubling, Tuvok...and I don't mean just in regard to what was said about the captain, although that is very disturbing enough in itself. It also suggests we might have a real problem brewing with the Equinox crewmembers,. Chakotay said.

That was my thinking as well, Commander. I anticipated there would be initial resentment of the captain on the part of the Equinox people. Captain Ransom was well-liked and respected by his crew, and I am not  surprised they would continue to feel loyal to him,. Tuvok explained. . I did  not, however, believe their resentment would progress to outright hostility. That is not something we can afford to tolerate or overlook, as it could seriously affect discipline and the smooth functioning of this ship,. he added.

I agree with you, but I am also concerned about how  this is going to affect the integration of the Voyager and Equinox crews. We can  probably order Tom, Harry and Bill not to discuss the event in detail with anyone, especially its specific causes, but I'm sure the word has gotten out  already. There were other Voyager personnel in the messhall at the time who witnessed the fight. There's bound to be increased tension and hostility among  the crews. Any ideas about how we can handle that?

It is not logical to separate the two crews, Commander. We can't assign the Equinox crewmembers to their own teams, because  there simply aren't enough of them. And even if we could, I am not sure that  would be a wise approach. We are one ship on a long journey home -- the two crews will have to learn to work together. Perhaps I can assign extra security personnel to monitor their various teams?. Tuvok suggested.

That might work for the time being, at least until tensions die down a bit. And we'll certainly have to let the crew know that further problems won't be tolerated and, in fact, will be dealt with quite  severely,. Chakotay decided. . You might recall we had similar problems when we  first merged the Voyager and Maquis crews, Tuvok. Eventually, those hostilities faded as we all learned to work together. I think the same thing will happen here -- it just might take a little while,. he reasoned.

That is true. Now, regarding our other problem,. Tuvok began. . It is my responsibility to keep Captain Janeway informed of any and all incidents of violence among members of the crew. Furthermore, I also have a duty  to alert her to anything that might present a danger to her person or her authority. The comments made by the Equinox crewmembers could be considered threatening. I do not see how I can avoid informing the captain of what was  said,. Tuvok explained.

Chakotay cringed when he recalled what Tom Paris had said in Tuvok's report. The comments about Janeway's command abilities were  worrisome, but they were probably motivated by some misplaced sense of loyalty  to Ransom. However, the comments regarding the captain's personal life and, more  importantly, Seven of Nine were downright ugly and malicious. Voyager's First Officer was also troubled by the thought that members of Voyager's own crew were  gossiping about, and speculating on, the captain's relationship with Seven.

I agree with you. The captain needs to be informed. At the very least, she needs to know that the Equinox people have some serious  issues regarding her.

I will admit, Commander, I do not look forward to  having this discussion with the captain. As you know, she has been under a great  emotional strain as of late. The knowledge that the Equinox crew harbors intense resentment towards her will only add to that. As for the personal comments made  about her...well, she will no doubt be appalled,. Tuvok explained.

Tuvok knew Captain Janeway would dismiss the attacks on  her command abilities -- she was simply too confident in her own abilities to be affected by the remarks of disgruntled crewmembers. The personal comments and speculations about her private life, especially regarding Seven of Nine, however, were another matter. Tuvok also suspected that she would be devastated to learn that members of her own crew were gossiping about her personal life. He  did not wish to see the likely pain and humiliation on his old friend's face.

Chakotay sympathetically offered a suggestion. . Perhaps you can leave the personal stuff, the parts about Seven, out of it? I mean, all  the captain really needs to know is that the Equinox people made disparaging remarks about her. You don't have to go into detail, do you?. he asked.

That is what I shall endeavor to do. However, captain  Janeway is very thorough and persistent when evaluating the seriousness of crimes brought to her attention. I have every reason to believe she will insist on reading the full incident report...and I will not intentionally deceive her  by deleting those portions of the report,. Tuvok answered.

Well, you're her closest friend, Tuvok. If she's got to hear it, it'll probably be easier coming from you. I have to admit, I. m also  disturbed by the obvious prejudice behind the remarks made about the captain and  Seven. You. d think that by now, in the 24th Century, that sort of intolerance  and hatred would be nonexistant,. Chakotay said with concern.

I have learned, Commander, that prejudice is a human trait not so easily overcome. Thank you for your time,. Tuvok said as he turned  for the door. Although he didn't believe in luck, he found himself wishing for it nevertheless.

Back in the captain's quarters, Janeway leaned back on the couch and looked at Seven of Nine. . Well, that's a somewhat unexpected  response. And, I might add, not very encouraging. Could you possibly expand on that, Seven? How does my saying I've fallen in love with you make you feel?. she asked.

Seven thought about it for a moment, then replied in her usual honest manner. . Warm. Yes, I believe that would be an accurate description of how I am feeling, captain. Warm.

Janeway grinned, as she noticed Seven appeared to be a little flushed. She had no idea ex-drones were capable of blushing, and she had  to admit it was absolutely adorable on her. She wondered whether Seven knew that  her appearance said more about her emotions than words probably could. . Okay,  that's certainly descriptive. Anything else?. she asked patiently as she looked  into deep, blue eyes.

I believe I am also experiencing apprehension. I am  not sure what the standard response for such things should be,. Seven explained. . No one has ever told me they've...fallen in love...with me before,. she added innocently.

Believe me, Seven. If you hadn't spent the past twenty years in the Borg Collective, I'm certain you would have heard those words a great many times. There is no standard response when it comes to love, though.  All that matters -- all that's important to me -- is how you feel about it, Seven,. Janeway said earnestly.

I do not believe I have sufficient information to  answer that question, captain,. Seven replied. Before she could continue,  however, Janeway held up a hand.

Please, Seven...we're alone in my quarters in the  middle of the night. I just told you I'm in love with you. I think it'll make us  both feel a lot more comfortable if you call me Kathryn. Okay?. she asked softly.

Seven raised an eyebrow, understanding that the captain  was requesting their conversation be conducted on a more intimate level. . Very well...Kathryn. You wish me to explain my feelings, but I am unable to clarify  them all. It is pleasing to know that you care about me. It also makes me feel...happy to know you enjoy spending time with me,. Seven stated honestly.

"I don't just care about you, Seven...I love you. The  feelings are similar, but they differ greatly in scope and intensity. Love is a  much more powerful emotion...and it enters one's life much less frequently. I  should mention it's something I haven't experienced many times in my life.

Janeway noticed that Seven seemed surprised by her last  comment. She was glad, therefore, that she decided to clarify it because she  certainly did not want Seven to think she fell in love every other day.

"I see," Seven replied, as she considered the captain's  response. "Do you wish to express this love...physically?

Janeway felt an unmistakable tingling in her fingers and a flush come over her face. She instantly wished she were still in uniform.  [Well, Seven certainly gets right to the heart of things, doesn't she?] She couldn't prevent the gentle laugh that escaped her lips.

You are nothing if not direct, Seven,. she said with affection. "Yes, I wish to express my love for you physically...very much so, in fact,. she added softly. The image that immediately came to mind caused an  identifiable fluttering in the pit of her stomach.

Seven paused before responding, as she processed the captain's words and noted the color that had suddenly infused the older woman. s cheeks. It had never occurred to her that Captain Janeway would consider pursuing an intimate relationship with anyone aboard Voyager. Seven's thoughts then turned to her recent experiment with dating, and she wondered whether her choice in partners would have been different had she known the captain was  available.

Chakotay was not able to keep himself from worrying  about the captain's reaction to Tuvok's report. As he entered the ensuite and  started the sonic shower, he wondered whether he should talk with the captain  about the rumors concerning her relationship with Seven.

Tuvok, as security chief, would most likely merely recount the essence of the remarks made about the captain in the context of the altercation itself -- there was no need for him to discuss the implications of the crew gossiping about its captain. Personnel issues and the smooth functioning of ship's business, however, fell within the scope of the First  Officer's duties. Besides, Chakotay reasoned, Tuvok was not the most sensitive person onboard. If the rumors were true, Captain Janeway might be more inclined to talk about it with him, rather than the emotionally detached Tuvok.

Chakotay could not help feeling a little stunned,  however, by the prospect of the captain being intimately involved with Seven of  Nine. It was not because he himself had been romantically interested in the captain -- he had long ago accepted the fact that nothing would ever happen between them, that their relationship had become more like brother and sister.  It was because he did not believe Janeway would ever allow herself to become  involved with anyone under her command. And of all people, Seven of Nine?

Of course, he told himself, rumors of all sorts were always circulating on the lower decks and rarely was there any truth in them.  Chakotay had always attributed their active imaginations and inclination to gossip to the fact they had very little opportunity to interact with the captain and other members of her senior staff. The captain's closeness to Seven was  fairly common knowledge among the crew. He knew Janeway had a unique relationship with the former borg, but he had thought her feelings towards Seven  were like that of a mentor. If it had progressed beyond that...well, he certainly would not be the only one shocked by the news.

As he finished dressing for duty, Chakotay decided to  stop by the captain's quarters on his way to the bridge. If she wanted to talk about Tuvok's report, he figured she would feel more comfortable doing it there  than on the bridge.

Captain Janeway slowly picked up her drink and took a  sip, waiting patiently for Seven to respond. She concentrated on bringing her heart beat under control, feeling slightly uncomfortable in the silence that followed her confession. Come on, Seven. Say  something.

Intriquing. I was not aware you were interested in pursuing romantic relationships, captain.. Seven said simply.

I may be a bit old, Seven, but I'm not dead,. Janeway  answered with a chuckle. . Seriously, I wasn't interested in such things for a long time...but it seems you have caused that to change.

And you desire me? You wish to...experience sexual intimacy with me?. Seven asked incredulously.

Janeway could not keep herself from blushing at that one. She also felt an unmistakable physical response elsewhere. . Oh, yes...more  than I would have imagined. But this is much more than sexual attraction, Seven.  I love you. I. m not merely interested in physical intimacy. I wish to be close  to you in all ways. I'd be less than honest if I didn't admit it's a little frightening," she explained softly.

Seven considered this and glanced back at the captain, scrutinizing her closely. She could not recall whether she had ever seen the  captain frightened. . Are you feeling fear at this moment, Kathryn?. she asked.

Captain Janeway smiled when she recognized what her  answer would be. She was experiencing more fear now, than she had when she  rescued Seven from the borg Queen. She wondered how many other seemingly fearless Starfleet captains -- captains who had faced down enemies like the  borg, the Dominion and the Cardassians -- were absolutely panicked when it came to matters of the heart. Did Jean Luc Picard quake in his boots before admitting to Beverly Crusher that he was in love with her?

As a matter of fact, Seven, I am feeling a little scared right now. I just took a very big risk by telling you I'm in love with you...that I desire you. You  haven't yet told me how you feel about that,. Janeway said nervously.

I am uncertain as to what my response should be, Kathryn. I feel...pleased that you care for me in such ways, but I am not sure I  am capable of...returning those feelings. I am borg. I do not believe it is possible for me to...fall in love,. Seven replied.

Janeway felt her chest tighten. Although she had anticipated Seven might not feel the same way about her, the words hurt  nonetheless. She concentrated on maintaining a calm exterior, not wanting to let  Seven see her disappointment.

Seven,. the captain began, . you are no longer borg. You are human. You certainly are capable of falling in love. The question is, would that be something you'd be interested in exploring?. she asked carefully.  . And would you be interested in exploring it...with me?. she added. The older woman was not conscious of doing it, but she held her breath as Seven answered.

Are you asking if I would be interested in...dating  you, Kathryn?

I suppose it could be considered dating. I was just  thinking perhaps we could spend more time together...get to know each other  better and explore whatever feelings we might have. Do you enjoy my company,  Seven?. Janeway asked

Yes. It pleases me when we engage in recreational  activities. I particularly enjoy our philosophical discussions,. she answered. . You are, however, a most frustrating velocity opponent. I am not sure I always  enjoy it when we play.

Janeway smiled at the reference to their velocity  matches, knowing her inability to defeat the captain drove the physically superior Seven to the Borg-equivalent of crazy.

Well, that's what I'm suggesting, Seven...that maybe we could expand upon the activities we share.. [And we know what kind of activities you wish to share, Kathryn!] . It's been a very long time since I've dated anyone, but I'm sure I can remember all the nuances,. the captain added  with a grin.

It is likely that had I known dating females was a possibility, my previous attempt would not have been a failure. I believe I would have chosen you, Kathryn, instead of Lieutenant Chapman. You are the most  intelligent and resourceful person on this ship, and, as you already mentioned,  we have many things in common,. the blond woman confessed.

Janeway's heart began to beat faster again, as she recognized where Seven was heading.

I also find you attractive, Kathryn. You are very  visually appealing...and both the doctor and Lieutenant Paris have told me that is also an important consideration,. Seven said honestly.

Now the captain could feel a definite heat spreading through her body. Is it possible? Is this really going  to happen? . Thank you, Seven,. she said somewhat shyly. . I find you extremely attractive, as well,. she added. No, .  attractive. is not quite the right word...exquisite is more like it!

Seven noted with curiosity the physical response the captain. s words caused in her. Nearly all of her human biological components seemed to be functioning at an unusually high rate -- heart beat, respiration, blood circulation -- causing her internal temperature to climb a few degrees.  The young woman recalled she had experienced no such sensations on her date with  Lieutenant Chapman. Perhaps it is required for me to be  with females? She was suddenly excited by the prospect of finding other individuals who might cause these responses in her.

I conducted much research after my unsuccessful date," Seven began, "and have concluded that monogamous relationships are highly inefficient. It is illogical and limiting to restrict oneself to only one partner. I am interested in dating you, Kathryn, but I also wish to experience encounters with a variety of individuals,. she added.

Captain Janeway sat in stunned silence for a moment, unable to believe what she had just heard. She got up from the couch and walked  over to the replicator, standing with her arms folded across her chest. She had  to think. Seven's response had taken her completely by surprise and she had no idea what to say next. It had simply never occurred to her that Seven would be interested in anyone else aboard Voyager. Now, she found her mind racing as it  tried to identify who these other . individuals. might be.

Seven of Nine immediately sensed something was wrong.  Not only had the captain immediately gotten up and moved away from her, but she had done so with a very strange expression on her face. Seven also got up from the couch and walked over to Janeway so she was standing right behind her.

Kathryn, is something wrong?. she asked. . Have I said something to upset you?. she asked innocently.

Janeway took a breath. . Seven,. she whispered without turning around. . What exactly are you saying?. she asked.

I wish to explore this concept of dating further. I am interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you, Kathryn, as I believe we will make a suitable match. Is that not what you wish?. Seven asked. She was  confused by the captain's reaction, but waited patiently for an answer.

Let me get this straight, Seven. You just said you'd like us to pursue a romantic relationship. But you are also telling me you also  wish to date other individuals at the same time?. Janeway asked, trying very  hard to control her voice. She wasn't prepared to reveal how hurt she was  feeling.

Yes, Kathryn. Is that a problem?. Seven asked, honestly not knowing why this would bother the captain. Surely someone as logical as Captain Janeway would recognize the advantages of pursuing relationships with multiple partners.

I'm not sure I can do that, Seven,. she said plainly,  with as little emotion as possible. . Call me old-fashioned, but I've always  been the monogamous sort...even in my younger days.. Janeway decided not to mention, at least not at this point, that she was unaccustomed to being merely one of many...that she needed to feel as though her partner had eyes only for  her. She also didn't want to admit that without the emotional security that came from feeling as though she were everything in the world to her partner, she was unable to let her guard down and open her heart.

Janeway turned around to face Seven, keeping her arms  folded. She struggled to maintain her composure, but she felt absolutely devastated. In one brief moment, she had gone from elation and excited anticipation, to total despair. It had simply never occurred to her that Seven would not be interested in an exclusive relationship. How in the world, she  wondered, was she going to survive this?

There were more than a few reasons why she couldn't  possibly accept the terms of Seven's offer...but she doubted she had the emotional strength to adequately explain them. Perhaps she should buy herself  some time...tell Seven she needed to think about it? [Think about what? You know you're not willing or capable of sharing her with anyone else!]

It's not just that,. she continued. . It's complicated, Seven. There are certain issues that come into play because I am  the captain of this vessel,. she added. I'm not sure I would be comfortable with such an arrangement,. Janeway explained.

I see,. Seven answered, although she was not sure she  did. . You are concerned that your authority aboard the ship will be  compromised, that perhaps I will reveal personal things that may somehow diminish you in their eyes. I assure you, Kathryn, I am capable of discretion. I will adapt to whatever restrictions you place on our relationship,. she added reasonably in an attempt to calm Janeway's fears.

She's certainly not making this  easy! Now what? Janeway rubbed her temples, realizing she had only one  explanation left. And although it was perhaps the strongest of the three, she  was not sure her pride would allow her to state it. Frankly, this last one  caused her a certain amount of embarrassment. It was, however, the one reason likely to make an impression on Seven.

The captain prepared herself for the difficult task  ahead when all of a sudden, the chime to her door rang. Feeling as though she  were a teenager about to be caught skipping class, she momentarily considered not answering. When she did not respond immediately, she heard Commander  Chakotay's voice.

Captain, are you alright?. he called out.

Damn!. she exclaimed to Seven. . I'm fine, Commander...Just a minute!. she shouted to Chakotay.

Computer, what time is it?. she asked.

It is 0740.

Janeway turned to Seven. . I can't believe I lost track  of time. I'm sorry, Seven. I. m late. We. ll have to finish this another time,.  she asked, feeling somewhat frazzled. . Will that be all right?

Of course, Kathryn. I shall look forward to it,. Seven said, as she moved towards the door. She hesitated to look back at the captain. I am sorry, as well,. she added.

The cabin doors opened after a longer than normal delay, and Chakotay had to step back a bit to avoid crashing into Seven of Nine as she exited the captain's quarters. . Good morning, Commander,. she said amicably.

Uh...yes, Seven. Good morning,. he replied, trying very hard to mask his surprise. He did not notice he was still standing in the doorway, until the captain invited him in.

What can I do for you, Chakotay?. Janeway asked as the cabin doors closed behind them.

Uh...I'm sorry to disturb you, captain,. he said uncomfortably, as he noticed she was not wearing her uniform. He worked hard to keep his gaze centered on Janeway, instead of allowing it to drift to her bedroom where his curiousity was trying to take it. He instantly regretted his decision to talk with the captain about the rumors circling among the crew,  especially since it appeared there might be some truth to them. . I thought  perhaps you might want to talk about Tuvok's report here, rather than on the  bridge,. he said uneasily.

Tuvok's report? What report?. she asked.

Chakotay blinked his eyes in astonishment, realizing Janeway had apparently not yet checked her computer for the daily logs and reports. He suddenly wished he were anywhere else right now, other than standing  in front of the captain who had clearly had no sleep the night before.

Uh...well, there was a little incident in the messhall early this morning. I thought you would have read Tuvok's report by now. Why don't I just leave you to it? We can talk later in your ready room if you wish,.  he offered, hoping the captain would allow him to make a quick exit.

I'm sorry, Commander. I'm obviously running a little late this morning. I haven't had a chance yet to check the logs. What sort of incident are we talking about?. Janeway asked curiously as she folded her arms across her chest.

Oh, it's nothing serious...just a little fight between a few crewmembers.. Chakotay raised his hands, as soon as he saw the captain's expression. . Don't worry, no one was seriously hurt and Tuvok assured me he had everything under control. Why don't you take a few moments to read the report?  I'm sure Tuvok included all the pertinent details. I should get to the  bridge...it won't do for both the senior officers to be late for their duty shifts,. he suggested, hoping the captain would not force him to divulge the  particulars right now.

Okay, Commander. I'll see you on the bridge shortly,.  Janeway said, as she led Chakotay to the door. Once he had left, the captain sat  down at her computer console and brought up Tuvok's security report.

Seven of Nine headed for the Astrometrics lab, then  realized she was scheduled to assist B'Elanna Torres in Engineering. She altered  her course, noting she was feeling a little confused by her conversation with  the captain. She decided it was no wonder humans devoted so much time and energy to the topic of love -- it was a most impossible thing to understand.

Seven thought the captain, given her stated feelings,  would have been pleased when she agreed to pursue a romantic relationship with her. However, that did not appear to be the case at all. In fact, captain Janeway appeared to have changed her mind. Perhaps, Seven speculated, her  feelings were not as strong as she originally thought. Or perhaps the captain  was confused by her emotions -- she had, after all, admitted she had little experience in such things. Seven decided she obviously needed to do some more  research before her next conversation with the captain.

Reporting for duty, Lieutenant,. Seven announced, as she approached B'Elanna. The noise level in engineering seemed to drop  considerably upon her entrance, and Seven had the distinct impression she was  being watched. When she glanced around the room, she noticed that all eyes were on her as her crewmates began whispering to each other. It was a most discomfiting feeling, and Seven felt extremely self-conscious and perplexed. . We are scheduled to reconfigure the EPS manifolds this morning,. she said in a  tone that made her statement seem more like a question.

That's right, Seven. Ensign Vorik is already working on it. Why don't you join him and I'll be there as soon as I finish this,.  B'Elanna replied without looking up from her console. She didn't want to make eye contact with the ex-drone, believing her eyes would betray the sudden awkwardness she was feeling.

When Lt. Chapman had not reported for his duty shift,  the chief engineer had been forced to use the COMM system to inquire as to his  whereabouts. Not only had Torres been surprised that Bill, a relatively  easy-going guy, was involved in the messhall brawl...she had also been stunned  to learn the reasons behind the altercation.

B'Elanna was not surprised there were rumors floating  around the lower decks regarding the nature of Seven's relationship with the  captain -- she, herself, had often thought there was something...different about  the way Janeway related to Seven of Nine. The Klingon had always assumed,  however, that she was simply misinterpreting what she was observing -- the  lingering looks they often gave each other, the way the captain often seemed to  purposely brush up against Seven whenever she walked by, the fact that Janeway  touched Seven more often than she did any other crewmember.

If other members of the crew had noticed the same  behavior, B'Elanna reasoned, perhaps she had not been imagining it after all. Perhaps something is going on between them? After all, Janeway certainly seemed to be spending virtually all her free time with  Seven lately.

As B'Elanna watched Seven walk over to Vorik's station,  she wondered how the captain could spend so much time with the defiant, arrogant  borg without going insane. On more than a few occasions, B'Elanna was sorely tempted to toss her out the nearest airlock. Of course, Starfleet captains were  trained to remain cool, calm and collected under all sorts of circumstances...and Janeway probably possessed more than the average captain's  allotment of patience, as a result of being stranded in the Delta Quadrant for so long. But, B'Elanna considered, if the captain were in love with Seven it  would explain a lot...she'd probably put up with just about anything.

The Klingon made her way across the room, not oblivious  to the reaction Seven's presence was causing among her staff. News traveled  quickly on this ship. It was likely everyone was, by now, aware of the incident in the messhall...and, just as likely, of the comments made about the captain.  On top of that, B'Elanna had overheard Susan Nicolleti telling a few crewmembers  that she had seen Seven leaving the captain's quarters very early in the  morning...and that the captain was wearing a robe.

B'Elanna had no doubt her crew was whispering about  Seven's rumored romantic involvement with the captain. In a strange surge of protectiveness, she had a desire to somehow warn Seven about anything she might  overhear. It was entirely possible, B'Elanna thought, the borg was unaware of the messhall fight, or the circumstances which led to it, as she tended to avoid social contact with the crew. The borg would no doubt be affected by the information, regardless of whether she was actually having an affair with Janeway -- she tended to be rather protective of the captain, although she would  probably never admit to it.

B'Elanna decided it would be better to talk with Seven about it in private. There simply was no way of telling what Seven might do to  the unfortunate crewmember caught making inappropriate remarks about the captain.

Seven, I need to see you in my office,. she said, as she quickly led Seven away by the arm.

Is there a problem, Lieutenant Torres?. Seven asked  uncomfortably. She was unaccustomed to making errors in her work, but Seven had to acknowledge she was feeling somewhat distracted and perturbed -- perhaps she  had not concentrated sufficiently on what she was doing, and now the Chief  Engineer wished to reprimand her.

Not a problem, Seven. I just need to talk with you about something,. B'Elanna answered, as she closed the door to her office behind them. Sensing that Seven would appreciate it, she decided a simple, direct approach would work best. . Seven,. she began, . there was an incident in the  messhall early this morning. Some things, unflattering things, were said about the captain...and that's what precipitated the fight.. Before B'Elanna could finish, Seven interrupted her.

What things? Who said these 'unflattering' things? I will make them regret their statements about the captain,. Seven declared  passionately. She found herself wondering what could possibly have been said about Captain Janeway that would provoke a physical altercation among the crew.

You're not going to make anyone regret anything, Seven. Get a grip on those borg implants! The captain is old enough to take care  of herself. I'm sure she'll handle the situation perfectly fine without your assistance. As I was saying, some things were said and I suspect the crew is  already talking and gossiping about it. I just wanted to inform you of it  myself, because it's likely that you're name will also come up. I didn't want  you to be in the position of overhearing it from someone else,. B'Elanna added.

I see. That explains why the crew appears to be  talking behind my back. What is it that was said? Why is it that my name will  also come up?. Seven asked, now feeling a certain amount of uneasiness. She had never really been comfortable with the extra attention some members of the crew paid her, feeling thoroughly exposed and embarrassed being in the spotlight. She would have thought their curiosity about her had diminished by now, considering  she had been aboard Voyager for two years. If she were about to be the center of attention again, Seven thought, she would like to know the reason why.

Well,. B'Elanna began nervously, . a few of the  ex-Equinox crewmembers were making disparaging remarks about the captain's  command abilities and...well...uh, insulting comments about her character and  personality. I'm not going to tell you what the specific comments were, because...well frankly, they're not worth repeating. I will tell you, however, a  few of the comments suggest there are rumors circulating on the lower decks regarding the nature of your relationship with the captain,. B'Elanna said,  rushing out the final sentence in one long expulsion of words.

Seven contemplated that last sentence. She did not quite understand why the crew would expend their time and energy engaging in such an  irrelevant activity as gossip, when there were certainly more important duties that required their attention. Seven was concerned, however, when she observed  B'Elanna's apparent uneasiness -- the Klingon rarely seemed bothered by the crew's proclivity for gossip. Seven linked her hands behind her back and raised her chin, in an effort to present an unaffected manner.

Lieutenant, specify the content of these rumors. I do  not understand why the captain's concern for my well-being would be of interest to the crew,. she said.

Well, Seven...I suppose some of them feel the captain  is more concerned for your well-being than she is for any other member of the  crew. Maybe they're jealous of the amount of personal time she spends with you...I don't really know,. B'Elanna tried to explain. . But I think you should  know there are members of this crew who believe you and the captain are...well,  sexually involved,. she added softly, clearly embarrassed at having to bring it up.

Seven could not keep her right eyebrow from crawling off her forehead. She had simply never considered anyone would perceive her .  relationship. with Captain Janeway in such a manner. Although it did not bother  Seven, given that she really did not care what the crew thought about her, she  realized such gossip would most likely concern the captain. Furthermore, Seven  had to acknowledge that such a perception might affect Captain Janeway's  credibility with the crew.

The crew is incorrect, Lieutenant. Captain Janeway and I have no such relationship,. she stated emphatically, hoping that somehow the  engineer would be able to assist in putting an end to the gossip.

Oh, I see,. B'Elanna said, a hint of surprise leaking  into her voice. She was more than a little relieved that her suspicions were unfounded, admitting she would have been slightly uncomfortable in the presence of the captain and Seven if the rumors had turned out to be true. . Good. Well  then, Seven, there's nothing to worry about. You know how these things are...it'll probably die down once everyone realizes there's nothing to it,. she  added.

No, I do not know how these things are,. Seven responded honestly, . but I am pleased to hear that it will...die down. The  captain declined my offer engage in sexual activities, once she learned I do not wish to pursue a monogamous relationship. I sincerely doubt she would be pleased  to learn the crew has been making erroneous statements about her personal life,. Seven explained.

That one hit B'Elanna like an overloading plasma relay.  She was sure that if it were possible for Klingons to blush, her face would be an extremely bright shade of pink right now. Shaking her head, she wondered how she managed to always get herself into these situations...learning way too much personal information about people. For Kahless. s sake, why is it I keep forgetting Seven's inability to be anything less than completely honest? Then, Seven's comments began to sink in. Did Seven just say she and the captain talked about pursuing a sexual relationship?

B'Elanna brought her hand up to her forehead and rubbed  the ridges there, hoping to somehow wipe away the visualizations that were  beginning to form. . I'm sorry, Seven. I must have misheard you. What the hell did you just say?. she asked incredulously, then instantly regretted her  question.

I said the captain does not wish to engage in romantic encounters with me,. Seven responded impatiently, not understanding what had been unclear about her statement the first time around. . I believe she wishes  us to have an...exclusive relationship,. she added.

B'Elanna sighed audibly. . Seven, you haven't told anyone about this, have you?. she asked, convinced the inexperienced young woman  had no concept of discretion and propriety in such matters.

No, Lieutenant. You are the first person who has asked me.

Good. I suggest you continue to keep it to yourself.... B'Elanna said before Seven cut her off.

However, I believe it would be advantageous to discuss it with someone. This concept of love and romance is most confusing. It appears there is much I do not understand about sexual relationships. It is very  unsettling,. Seven tried to explain, as B'Elanna detected a noticeable crack in her normally confident demeanor.

B'Elanna suddenly felt a little sympathetic towards the  naive Astrometrics officer. It was unlikely Seven had any friends aboard the  ship, people in whom she could confide about personal matters. She supposed  Seven might consider the doctor to be a friend...but she doubted he would be of  any help in this case. Not only was he a hologram, having no personal knowledge  or experience about love and relationships, but Seven probably would not trust  him again after his previous attempt.

No, there was only one person on Voyager who could be  considered Seven's friend -- and how could she possibly seek advice from the  same person who was obviously confusing her? Wait a minute...hold on! Did she just say something about love? Had the captain admitted to being in love with Seven? B. Elanna considered her options -- she could either leave Seven to figure it out on her own, or she could be a friend.

Captain Kathryn Janeway entered the bridge and, without  saying a word, headed directly for her ready room. After a few moments, her voice came over the COMM system. It did not take a ship's counselor to realize  she was not in a good mood.

Lieutenant Tuvok, report to my ready room.

Right away, captain,. Tuvok responded calmly. He cast  a brief glance in Chakotay's direction before leaving his security station.

Please have a seat, Tuvok,. Janeway requested, after granting her security chief admittance. After a long moment, the captain leaned back in her chair and looked up. . I read your security report this morning. I  will not tolerate my bridge officers, or any other crewmembers for that matter, initiating brawls in the messhall...regardless of their reasons,. she said sternly. . Where are Tom, Harry and Bill now?. she asked.

They remain in the brig, captain, as do the Equinox  people.

"The report seems to indicate Chapman and Tesoni weren't involved in the actual fighting. If that is correct, I don't see the need to hold them any longer. As for the rest, I want them removed from duty and restricted to quarters until further notice,. she stated, before turning her attention back to the computer console.

Understood, captain,. Tuvok replied. He remained seated, however, waiting for Janeway to get to the heart of the matter. He  noted, with concern, the strain and exhaustion in the captain's eyes. . Do you not wish to question them?. he asked.

No, I have all the information I need on the matter,.  she answered without providing further explanation. Janeway turned her attention  to her computer screen. Noticing that Tuvok was still seated in front of her, she looked up and realized her error. . Thank you, Tuvok. That will be all,. she  said, in an effort to dismiss him.

Captain, I believe we have other matters to discuss,.  he said simply.

Janeway felt every muscle in her body tense. She had absolutely no intention of discussing the statements made about her by the Equinox people, but she had a sinking feeling Tuvok was going to require they  have such a conversation. She summoned all her command presence and planted him  with a menacing look. Before she could say a word, though, Tuvok continued.

Captain, I respectfully submit that this incident  points to a serious problem that cannot be overlooked. In the course of my investigation, it has come to my attention that a certain amount of animosity  and hostility exists between some Voyager crewmembers and the newcomers. I believe that if something isn't done, there will be more such incidents in the future,. he stated logically.

The captain looked up from her desk, thankful her old  friend's concerns were for the safety and security of Voyager's crew and not her personal life. . Of course, Tuvok. You're probably right, but what information  do you have that suggests this isn. t a one-time incident?. Janeway had assumed  the fight had more to do with the comments made about her...and the gallant  efforts by Tom, Harry and Bill to defend her honor. It had not occurred to her  the problem was more widespread than that.

During my interviews, various individuals mentioned  there have also been minor altercations on the lower decks, many of which were  initiated by Voyager personnel. I suspect there may be a certain amount of  residual anger regarding the attack by the Equinox on this vessel,. Tuvok explained.

I must admit, Tuvok, I anticipated there might be some lingering bad feelings. But I honestly didn. t believe they would progress to  open hostility. I simply assumed that once the situation with Ransom had been resolved, and the remaining Equinox crewmembers were brought aboard, that would be the end of it,. the captain confessed. She regretfully concluded her  preoccupation with Seven, and her emerging feelings for the young woman, had distracted her from adequately assessing the integration of the two crews. .  What do you suggest?. she asked, feeling much more competent talking about ship matters than personal ones.

I am not sure, captain. I do not believe it would be logical or efficient to keep the crews separated,. Tuvok stated.

No, I agree with you. That's not going to solve the  problem. I actually think the reverse approach might be better. Perhaps we need  to increase the contact between the two crews...force them to get to know each other as individuals and depend on each other as shipmates. Let me talk with Chakotay about it. In the meantime, put out a ship-wide memo to all personnel  letting them know that future incidents of any kind will be dealt with severely.

Understood, captain. I shall also endeavor to find a solution. I will keep you informed of my progress,. Tuvok stated, as he rose from the chair.

Something else just came to me, Tuvok. It's possible Neelix might have some ideas and suggestions, as well. He is, after all, Voyager's official Morale Officer...perhaps he can be of assistance. Why don't  you bend his ear and see what you both can come up with?. Janeway suggested.

Very well, captain. Mr. Neelix does seem to have a knack for bringing the crew together.

That's exactly what I was thinking. Thank you, old friend. I'll look forward to hearing your ideas,. the captain said. .  Dismissed.

As soon as Tuvok returned to the bridge, the captain summoned Chakotay to her ready room. It was a tribute to his knowing the captain  so well, that Chakotay was already on his feet and halfway across the bridge by  the time Janeway's voice was heard over the COMM system. He was acutely aware of his stomach doing complete somersaults in anticipation of the unpleasant conversation he was likely to have with the captain.

Yes, captain,. Chakotay said upon entering the ready room.

Commander, I believe we may have a problem. Tuvok and  I were just speaking about it, but I informed him I would seek your opinion as well,. Janeway stated in a very business-like tone of voice.

Uh, well...in my opinion, the captain is certainly entitled to a personal life. If the crew has a problem with your being  romantically involved with Seven of Nine, they can come talk to me and I'll set them straight,. he offered uneasily. . However, under no circumstances are you  required to tolerate disrespectful comments made about you,. he added, in an attempt to sound supportive.

Janeway cringed internally, not expecting to hear  Chakotay refer to the remarks made about her personal life. . I beg your pardon, Commander?. she said with an icy tone that was at least three octaves below her  normal voice. . I was referring to the apparent hostilities between the Equinox  people and Voyager's crew,. she clarified shortly, pinning him to the wall with  a Force Ten stare. She exerted every bit of energy she had, to ensure her  command mask was solidly in place...because on the inside, she was feeling  terribly exposed.

Chakotay shuddered, immediately sensing his error. Damn! When will I learn to keep my mouth shut? He had  mistakenly assumed the captain would wish to talk about Seven of Nine, and now  sincerely doubted she would feel comfortable enough to open up about it. . Oh...yes, of course, captain,. he stammered. . Uh...how do you wish to handle the situation?. he asked.

Tuvok and I believe it might be a good idea to pair  the Equinox people up with Voyager crewmembers on extended duty assignments. If  we can force them to work together, depend on each other in the performance of  their duties, they might come to put their differences aside. As personnel assignments fall within your jurisdiction, I would like you to make the  necessary modifications,. she explained.

Sure. I'll get right on it. It just might work,. he  replied cooperatively.

Good. I'll expect your recommendations on my desk by tomorrow morning. Dismissed, Commander,. Janeway said coldly.

Well, actually, I believe there's one more thing we  need to talk about it. Ignoring it is not going to make the situation any better,. he offered gently. Before he could continue, however, Janeway raised a  hand and stopped him. . Don't, Commander,. she said in a soft voice. . Please,  don't. I am not going to have that conversation with you,. she said, anticipating he was going to ask her about Seven.

Okay, Kathryn, I can accept that. I respect your need  to keep your personal life private, but I wouldn't be much of a First Officer if  I neglected to point out that the remarks made about you indicate a severe lack of respect. They also suggest a dangerous amount of vindictiveness and contempt directed towards you. I don't believe you have the luxury of ignoring them...it  compromises your authority and, therefore, the safe and disciplined functioning  of this ship. There's no telling what sort of insubordination we might be  risking here,. Chakotay explained gently.

Janeway got up from her desk and walked to the window on the upper level. She knew Chakotay was right -- there was a pronounced mean-spiritedness and contempt inherent in the comments Tom, Harry and Bill had overheard. And the remark concerning her sexual orientation...well, the hatred behind the use of . that. word was unmistakable. She had enough knowledge about 20th Century history to recognize the dangerous prejudice that clearly motivated the use of such a derogatory term. The problem was, she had absolutely no idea what to do about it, having never been in this situation before.

Chakotay, I understand your concerns...but what  exactly do you think I should do about it? I'm not going to throw them in the brig just because their misguided sense of loyalty to Captain Ransom caused them to attack me personally. As far as I know, there's still no Starfleet regulation against freedom of speech...against the freedom of crewmembers to talk despairingly of their captain behind her back. Am I right in assuming that no specific threats were made against me? That no mention was made of mutiny or  anything else that would indicate an intent to compromise my command or cause me  bodily harm?. she asked, knowing in advance what the answer to her question would be.

Well...no, I don't believe any threats were made.  But...

Then I don't see the need to take any action,  Commander,. Janeway said as she turned around to face him. . Believe it or not, I can understand their anger. I may not agree with how they've expressed it, but  I understand it. There's absolutely no reason in the world for them to like me,  or even trust me, at this point. In their eyes, I'm the one who broke up their crew and passed negative judgment on their captain,. Janeway said before  pausing.

She had to admit a small part of her appreciated their devotion to Ransom. She also knew there were many captains in the Fleet who  would give their right arms for such a loyal crew. . There's no Starfleet  requirement that says a commanding officer has to be liked. You and I both know, Chakotay, trust has to be earned. I'm not entitled to it simply because I wear four pips and a band of red on my shoulder. I have to earn it...and I haven't  yet done that with these crewmembers. No...I appreciate your concerns, but I'm  not going to take any action on this matter...at least not at this point,.  Janeway added.

I'm not sure I agree with you, but it's your call,.  Chakotay relented. . I will request, however, that you keep your eyes and ears  open,. he suggested earnestly. . I intend to keep close watch on them, as  well...and if I discover anything that troubles me, you can bet I'll be right  back here pressing the point, Kathryn,. he added.

Point taken. Now, if there's nothing else...I need to  head back to my quarters for a little while. Can you cover the bridge for me?. Janeway asked, even though she could simply have ordered him to do so.

Sure. You look like you could use some rest. I'm anticipating it'll be a pretty slow day. According to Seven's Astrometrics reports, we're moving through a pretty unremarkable sector of space,. he explained, then instantly regretted mentioning Seven of Nine when he saw the pained expression on Janeway's face. . If anything serious comes up, I'll let you know,. he said reassuringly.

Thank you, Chakotay,. Janeway said, as she led him to  the door.

Chakotay took the command chair and watched Janeway  leave the bridge. He had a very unsettling feeling that things were going to get worse before they got better. He only hoped the captain would soon face the  issue head-on, since her track record when keeping things bottled up inside was not pleasant.

Lieutenant Tuvok, it's good to see you!. Neelix  exclaimed energetically, as he looked up from the leola root stew he was preparing for the lunch crowd. . What can I do for you? Is this about the fight  that took place this morning?. he asked, knowing that Voyager's efficient  Security Chief would want to gather as much information as possible.

In a manner of speaking, yes.

Well, I don't think I'll be of much help. I wasn't here at the time, otherwise I assure you I would never have let things get so  out of hand,. he added regretfully. Neelix actually felt somewhat responsible  for what occurred. He took great pride in his messhall, knowing that it's orderly and efficient operation was a positive reflection upon his abilities. As a result, he tended to take it personally when things went wrong in, what he considered to be, his jurisdiction.

I am sure that is true, Mr. Neelix, but I am not here  to question you about the incident. The captain has suggested you may be of  assistance in preventing future such occurrences,. Tuvok stated. . I am here to  employ your skills as Voyager's Morale Officer,. he added.

Oh, I see. Wonderful! Wonderful, Mr. Vulcan! I'd be  more than happy to help. Let me just drop a few more ingredients into the stew  and then we can sit down,. Neelix answered enthusiastically.

The colorful Talaxian scampered into the kitchen and put the finishing touches on his creation. After a quick taste assured him the preparations were complete, he joined Tuvok at the far table.

Okay, Lieutenant, you have my undivided attention,.  Neelix said cheerfully after settling comfortably into his chair.

How much do you know about the incident this morning,  Mr. Neelix?

Well, I know Tom, Harry and Bill Chapman were  involved...that apparently they initiated the fight after the Equinox crewmembers made some rather unpleasant remarks about the captain. The crew has been talking about it all morning, I'm afraid. I can't say as I blame them,  defending the captain's honor and reputation like that,. Neelix replied. . I might have done the same thing myself,. he added.

Indeed,. Tuvok said with a characteristic raise of his eyebrow. . Surely you understand that violence is hardly an acceptable response, under any circumstance,. Tuvok challenged firmly. . In any event, there is more  to it than that. The captain and I believe the altercation is indicative of  rising tensions and increased hostility between the two crews. She thinks it  might be wise to engage the crews in social activities which promote and require  cooperation. Perhaps you might have some ideas along those lines?. the Vulcan asked.

Oh, I see,. Neelix said, as he considered the  captain's idea. . Yes, yes...that might just work, Mr. Vulcan. By forcing them  to spend recreational time together, we'd be helping them get to know one another better. And if that happens, perhaps they would stop disliking each  other...right?. he asked, suddenly very excited about his new assignment.

Precisely. Do you have any suggestions that might  accomplish this intended goal?

Neelix thought about it...and, aware his head was  already filling with possibilities, replied, . As a matter of fact, yes I do. There are many games and activities which require team cooperation. I'm sure  it's just a matter of programming the holodeck appropriately...and, of course, creating the teams. But what if no one wants to participate?. he asked, sensing  it might be difficult to create integrated teams, if the level of hostility is as bad as Tuvok implied.

We could make participation mandatory, of course, but  I do not believe that would be a prudent course of action,. Tuvok answered  logically. . It might only serve to anger those involved, and anger is what we are specifically attempting to diffuse by our efforts,. he added, seemingly  perplexed by the possible dilemma.

I have an idea, Lieutenant. Perhaps we could make it worth their while to participate?. Neelix suggested.

Mr. Neelix, I am sure I don't need to remind you of  the captain's views on gambling. She has made it very clear that she will not tolerate gambling aboard her ship,. Tuvok stated.

Of course, but I'm not talking about gambling. There are other, more acceptable ways to encourage participation. We could, for  instance, offer some sort of prize or reward to the winners. Perhaps extra replicator rations or additional personal holodeck time? Possibly even something  as simple as extra time off? Surely Captain Janeway won't object to something  like that?. Neelix asked hopefully. . I believe we'll need to provide some sort  of reward as motivation, if we expect them to participate and work cooperatively,. he explained.

I see,. Tuvok said, as he considered the suggestion. . You may be right, Mr. Neelix, but I suspect the reward will have to be significant. I do not believe merely increasing the time one has to spend on the holodeck will be sufficient.

Well, perhaps the captain can think of something suitable?. Neelix suggested. . She would, after all, have to approve whatever  incentive we devise. Captain Janeway is very smart. I'm sure she'll be able to  think of something. And if we still have trouble getting people to participate, we can consider other alternatives,. Neelix suggested optimistically.

Neelix agreed with Tuvok that forcing participation was  probably counterproductive and unlikely to yield positive results. So, he decided to devote his full attention to finding alternative options. The  Talaxian had to admit, he was infinitely suited for such an endeavor, having a  natural gift when it came to calming and lifting the crew. s spirits. Neelix waited patiently, as Tuvok considered his suggestion.

Very well, Mr. Neelix. I shall present your  suggestions to Captain Janeway. If she is in agreement, you can begin researching the possibilities immediately. Thank you for your assistance,. Tuvok said as he rose from the table.

Wonderful! And please, thank Captain Janeway for giving me this opportunity. I won't let her down,. Neelix said enthusiastically.

B'Elanna Torres stared up at Seven of Nine and immediately felt a twinge in her neck. . Seven, do me a favor and have a seat,.  she requested.

Very well, Lieutenant. Will this take very long? I haven't completed my work yet,. Seven stated simply.

Don't worry about the EPS manifolds right now, Seven.  Trust me, you'll have plenty of time. You mentioned you were confused by  something Captain Janeway said or did. I just thought maybe you'd like to talk about it. Perhaps I can help?. she offered.

Seven considered the offer for a moment, wondering why the engineer would be interested in offering such assistance. The Klingon did not tend to concern herself with the personal lives of those around her,  preferring instead to keep her relationships primarily professional. But, Seven acknowledged, B'Elanna did seem to have experience in such matters...at least, more experience than she herself had.

You wish to assist me with my personal life?. Seven  asked, in an effort to confirm the engineer. s suggestion.

Yeah...sure, Seven...if I can. Believe it or not, I  know what it's like to feel confused when it comes to love and relationships. I  also know that sometimes talking about a problem can help clarify things.

When Seven didn't answer, B'Elanna continued. . Look,  you don't have to take me up on it...it's up to you. I just thought I'd let you  know I'm willing to listen if you want to talk,. she added brusquely, suddenly a  little embarrassed about showing her sensitive side to the ex-drone.

That would be...acceptable, Lieutenant. Thank you,.  she replied. Seven paused, uncertain as to where she should begin this talk.

B'Elanna seemed to sense Seven's hesitation, so she sat  patiently until the borg was able to continue.

I have been unable to determine a suitable course of action, in light of the captain's response to my proposal. I did not anticipate  she would react the way she did,. Seven explained simply, as though that was all the information B'Elanna would need to help . clarify. things.

Okay, but it might be more helpful if you gave me a  little more information. Like, what was your proposal and exactly how did the  captain respond?. B'Elanna suggested gently, hoping she wasn't going to regret this.

Very well. Captain Janeway said she is in love with me and wishes to express that love physically. I informed her that I find her aesthetically pleasing, and would enjoy dating her. However, when I later  mentioned dating other individuals, and that I do not wish to restrict myself to a monogamous relationship, she said she was not sure she could do that,. Seven  explained in the same straightforward manner she might use when explaining how the bio-neural gel packs function.

B'Elanna tried to present a disaffected front, not wanting Seven to see just how much that information shocked her. I don't believe it! The captain's in love with Seven?  Janeway wants to be romantically involved with Seven of Nine? Boy, the crew is gonna have a field day with this one! She looked up at Seven and, for a moment, had absolutely no idea what she should say. Pull yourself together, B'Elanna. Seven's obviously  confused, and you did say you would help her. Before she could figure out what to say next, though, Seven continued.

I do not understand what it is Captain Janeway is  unsure she can do. It was she who initially brought up the subject of physical intimacy. Why would she have stated she wished to...express her love for me  physically, if she was not sure she could do it?. Seven asked innocently.

B'Elanna considered that for a moment, wanting very much to provide Seven with an accurate answer. She honestly did not believe Janeway  was intentionally sending Seven mixed signals...it seemed more likely that Seven's inexperience prevented her from correctly identifying the reason for  Janeway. s hesitation.

Seven,. she began carefully, . Are you sure you didn.  t misunderstand? I mean, I don't think Captain Janeway meant she didn't know how  to...express her love physically for you. She was probably referring to the  monogamy thing...your comment about wanting to date other people,. she added. I can't believe I'm sitting here speculating on the  captain. s intentions!

I realize that, Lieutenant Torres. Captain Janeway explained she was the 'monogamous type' and indicated she was probably 'old-fashioned' as well, although I don't believe that is an accurate assessment. I was not, however, suggesting she date other people...I was merely declaring my intentions to do so. I do not understand why that would affect her ability to be  sexually intimate with me, since she clearly stated she had the desire to do so,. Seven said. . Is it possible for one to suddenly cease desiring another?. she asked, sincerely perplexed by the thought.

Well, uh...I don't think so, Seven. I mean, it isn't usually that simple. It's not like you can just put your mind to it, like  deciding to stop biting your fingernails or something,. B'Elanna said, stumbling  through an explanation she hoped wouldn't be lost on the borg.

Seven did not see the purpose in biting one's  fingernails, wondering why anyone would engage in such an activity in the first place, but she decided not to comment on it. She was more interested in understanding what was advantageous about living with unexpressed sexual desire. . If it is impossible to keep oneself from feeling such desire, why wouldn't one  wish to experience it?. she asked.

B'Elanna folded her arms across her chest and leaned back in her chair, thinking about Seven's question...and it was a damn good question, at that. Leave it to Seven, to search for a logical explanation to perhaps the most illogical of human conditions! She started to question her ability to help Seven with this problem, feeling somewhat in over her head on the subject. After all, she realized, she did not  exactly have a good track record when it came to romantic relationships. Sexual  relationships were hard enough...but any relationship involving a Starfleet captain would certainly create additional complications.

Seven, I don't have the answer to that question. Humans can be...very illogical when it comes to sex and love. I can only  speculate as to why the captain might choose not to act on her feelings, given the circumstances you've described. I really think you need to talk with Janeway  about this. If she really loves you, it might become impossible over time for  her to deny those feelings and desires,. B'Elanna offered, trying to provide  some reassurance. . I don't think you need be confused about the captain's  feelings, Seven. The fact that she's even considering a romantic relationship  with you indicates those feelings and desires are probably quite strong,. she  added. Now I. m helping the borg bed the captain!

Very well, Lieutenant. I shall do that. When I was leaving her quarters this morning, Captain Janeway requested we continue our  discussion at a later date. Perhaps she would be willing to further explain her  feelings at that time,. Seven said hopefully. . Thank you for your assistance, B'Elanna Torres,. she added, as she turned for door.

You're welcome,. the engineer answered. . And Seven? I suggest you don't talk about this with anyone else but the captain,. she added,  not certain whether Seven fully understood the importance of discretion, especially in regard to the captain's personal life.

Seven stopped in the doorway and looked back at the  Klingon. . I shall not,. she said seriously, before leaving the office to begin her work.

The lips were soft and warm as they made their way down her throat to the hollow of her neck. They paused there  for a moment, licking and softly biting her skin, before they continued their  journey downward. The sensation was exquisite, simultaneously tender and intense, and it took her a moment to regain her senses.

. Stop, please,. she heard her own voice plead with difficulty.

. I shall not,. came the familiar and defiant response, as fingers began unfastening the buttons of her satin pajama top.

She managed to grasp those fingers in her unsteady hands, hoping to keep them from completing their task.  But in one swift motion, she felt her arms being brought over her head and held  firmly in place by a strong grip around her wrists. The smooth, cool metal was  unmistakable...and extremely exciting. She tried to lift her body off the bed, but the strong yet soft form pressed against her was too powerful.

She knew she should  resist...had to resist...but before she could manage to get the words out, the  lips that had been on her throat moved to her mouth and captured her own. Their  exploration was gentle and tentative at first, but became bolder at the sound of  her unrestrained moan, capturing her lower lip and sucking on it. She was absolutely unable to control her response...and when she felt the warm flesh of another hand move down to her breast, cupping it firmly through the fabric, she was unable to keep from parting her lips and welcoming the tongue that sought hers.

The kiss was long and  lingering...deeper and sweeter than any she had ever experienced before in her life. She felt a familiar, searing heat radiate through her body as if every nerve ending was on fire. After fumbling a bit more with the buttons, pulling  some off completely, the hand that had been on her breast suddenly found bare skin. When she felt fingers rasping lightly over her nipple, then pinching and  rolling the sensitive tip, she could not restrain the gasp that escaped her  throat. Her mouth was captured again in another overpowering kiss, and as the  manipulation of her breast became more insistent and unrelenting, she lost all reason and gave in to the sensations.

Oh, God,. Kathryn Janeway groaned, as she returned to  wakefulness. She lay in bed for a few moments, trying to get her bearings, then made her way to the ensuite. She started the hydroshower and set the temperature  much cooler than ususal, hoping the cold water would bring her back to her  senses. It was thirty minutes before she realized she had finished washing and  had been merely standing under the spray, completely lost in thought.

Neither the shower, nor the four hours of sleep she had  managed to steal, had done anything to focus her mind. Janeway tried to shake  the dream, but it had been so vivid...in fact, if she closed her eyes, she was  certain she could still feel hands moving down her body. She considered getting  dressed and heading back to the bridge, hoping that work might chase the thoughts of Seven from her mind. She had to admit, though, it was unlikely she would be able to concentrate. So instead, she pulled on her robe and headed out  to the living area.

After replicating herself a strong cup of coffee,  Janeway leaned over her desk to check the computer for any incoming reports or memos. She was pleased to see that Tuvok had already filed a report about his talk with Neelix. If the report had come from any other member of her crew, the  captain would have been surprised by its timeliness...but, she had learned long ago to never underestimate the efficiency of her security officer.

Janeway started reading the report, but when she found she had read the same paragraph three times she decided to put it aside for the time being. She moved over to the couch and put her face in her hands, suddenly feeling very weary. She actually could not remember a time when she had felt  this emotionally drained.

There were more than a few potentially serious issues  with which she had to deal -- the possible insubordination of the Equinox crew  and their apparent contempt for her, the rising tensions between the Equinox people and the Voyager crew, and...the unsettling fact that her personal life was being scrutinized and speculated upon by her crew. Yet, in the face of all  those issues requiring her attention, the usually focused and professional Janeway could think of only one thing -- Seven of Nine.

[You've got it bad, Kathryn. Now you're dreaming about her!]

I'm perfectly capable of controlling my feelings, even my dreams, if I want.

[Sure you are...and you're doing such a good job of it!]

Janeway considered that, and realized she wasn't doing such a good job at all. In fact, it felt as though she were losing this battle.

[It's time to make a decision! What do you want?]

I want Seven, but it's not that  simple.

She reflected on the earlier conversation with her young Astrometrics officer, then realized something that made her feel slightly encouraged. It. s not like Seven said she wasn. t  interested, wasn. t attracted to me. In actuality, Seven had given every  indication that she wished to pursue a romantic relationship.

[Not, romantic...sexual. There's a difference.]

And that difference, Janeway realized, was a big part of the problem. It was true she was extremely attracted to Seven sexually -- she  did not need to refer to her recent dream for proof of that -- but she was also  in love with the young woman. Would she be able to do it? Would she be satisfied  with just having sex? Would that be enough? How would she react, if she happened to see Seven on a date with another crewmember? That, Janeway understood, would  be extremely difficult...because although she did not like admitting it, she had  to acknowledge she had a terrible propensity for jealousy.

No, she realized, there was no way she would be truly  fulfilled with such an arrangement. So, regretfully, she decided she had no  other option than to tell Seven she would have to decline her proposition.  Making the decision was little comfort, though, because the captain knew quite  well she would have a difficult time getting Seven of Nine out of her head...and  her heart.

In the meantime, Janeway concluded, she would just have  to throw herself into her work and hope her responsibilities would keep her sufficiently occupied. Perhaps if she worked herself to the brink of exhaustion,  she would have no energy left for thoughts and fantasies about Seven?

[Yeah, that might work -- that, and a great many cold  showers!]

The captain headed for the bedroom to get dressed, realizing there were still three hours left of her duty shift. With any luck, she thought, there would already be a pile work waiting for her on the bridge.

Angelo Tesoni walked quickly into the messhall,  replicated a glass of vegetable juice and took a seat at an empty table near the windows. He was aware he was being watched, as most of Voyager's crew had by now heard about the fight that had taken place ealier. The tall, dark-haired crewman  hoped nobody would bother him -- he had no desire to make another trip to the  brig. As it was, he was already feeling guilty and somewhat shameful about his  involvement in the altercation.

His behavior had gone against everything his grandmother taught him about being a good and honorable officer. He wondered why he had allowed himself to be influenced by Sophum and Morrow, especially when he had never really been close to them while aboard the Equinox. Angelo could only conclude that it was being aboard this new ship -- feeling like an outsider  among Voyager's crew made him more inclined to stick with his Equinox buddies, even when he did not approve of their actions. He did not share their opinions regarding Captain Janeway, and he knew they were probably going to cause more  trouble down the road...but Angelo also knew it was unlikely he would have much influence over them.

The Equinox crewman took the last sip of his juice and was about to return to his quarters, when he saw Chapman sitting alone at another table. Suddenly, Tesoni had an idea -- if he could make just one friend  among Voyager's crew, perhaps it would not be so difficult to stay away from Morrow and Sophum. He took a deep breath and headed for Bill's table.

"Uh, hello. Chapman, isn't it? Do you mind if I sit down for a minute?" Tesoni asked nervously.

The Voyager engineer looked up in surprise, not  expecting the Equinox crewman to approach him. He briefly wondered whether he  should be concerned, then decided to grant the request. "Yeah. Sure, I guess. Go ahead," he answered.

"I just wanted to apologize for what happened earlier. Morrow and Sophum were really out of line. I don't blame your friends for decking them. I hope we didn't get you into too much trouble," Tesoni said carefully.

"Well, Tom and Harry are still restricted to quarters,"  Chapman said, pausing to gauge the other man's sincerity. "You know, your  friends are wrong about Captain Janeway. Hopefully, they'll come to realize  that. They should also probably know she has complete loyalty from this crew," Chapman added seriously.

"Actually, they're not my friends. Well, I mean not  exactly. Sure, we served on the Equinox together for three years, but I was  never really close to them. Jim Morrow has always been a troublemaker -- I can't  remember how many times Captain Ransom had to put him on report. Brian, though...well, Brian's different," Tesoni explained.

"What do you mean, different?" Chapman asked, clearly  interested in learning more about these crewmen. "He certainly seemed to have  just as much of an attitude problem as Morrow."

"I could be wrong," Tesoni began, "but I don't think Brian is vindictive...at least he never was before. It's just that he was very  loyal to Captain Ransom. He had gotten into some trouble on his previous posting  at Starbase 492 -- a problem with his commanding officer, I think -- and was  almost kicked out of Starfleet. Ransom stood up for him at his hearing and essentially saved his career. Then he gave Brian a second chance, by personally requesting he be posted to the Equinox. I'm not saying he's justified, but he  probably blames Janeway for Captain Ransom's death," Angelo explained.

"Well, I can understand his feeling loyal, but Captain Janeway's not responsible for what happened to Ransom. And if Sophum can't get over it, he's going to have a very hard time aboard this ship," Chapman offered.

"I know. And I hope he does, because Brian's really not  such a bad guy. Misguided, perhaps, but not a bad guy," Tesoni explained, as he  rose from the table. "Listen, I should get back to my quarters. I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry about what happened...and that I hope you won't hold it against me," he added with a smile, as he held out his hand.

Chapman took the hand that was offered and shook it. "Sure. No hard feelings. Maybe I'll see you around later."

"Yeah. And thanks for letting me sit down and talk with  you," Angelo Tesoni said, before moving towards the door.

Bill watched him leave, admiring the courage Tesoni had  shown in approaching him and the obvious sincerity he had displayed. It was difficult enough, Chapman reasoned, to be transferred to a new ship and forced to fit in with a crew that had been together for five years. The circumstances  surrounding the arrival of the Equinox crew, however, made a peaceful transition unlikely. The soft-spoken Tesoni, however, seemed genuinely willing to make the attempt, despite his inauspicious start. Chapman hoped Angelo would be able to convince his friends to do the same...because unless they put aside their anger and hostility, life aboard Voyager was bound to become quite tense.

THE END