All I dressed up for San Francisco

Seven stood motionless as her friend, current housemate and former captain moved around her putting the finishing touches on her attire.  For the dinner she was to attend later on, they’d searched the shops ceaselessly until Kathryn found the right length and color to compliment her friend.  Standing on a stool wasn’t Seven’s idea of fun, at least, now that she had fun.

Three months ago, after returning to the Alpha Quadrant, Seven chose not to look up any relatives she might have and took the Captain’s offer to move in with her until she found a place of her own.  Since that point, she’d found a job outside Starfleet that she enjoyed and was pursuing other activities, but hadn’t left the confines of Kathryn’s San Francisco home, or looked for another place to settle.

Kathryn, on the other hand, decided to take a year off from duty.  She said, after much prying, that the vacation was to acquaint herself with Earth, her relatives and herself again after such a long bout in deep space.  However, from what Seven could tell, the redhead wasn’t happy sitting at home day after day doing, as it seemed, nothing.

“I see no point to this, Kathryn.”  She looked down at the pastel fabric covering her and sighed.  “It itches.”

“Stop wiggling and it won’t itch so much.”

“Borg do not wiggle.”

Kathryn chuckled as she pulled the dress down to its full length.  She stood back and looked over her friend.  “Of course not, but they do look fabulous all dressed up for San Francisco, I’ll tell you that.”  Seven eyed her.  “You’ll kill them all with your looks tonight.  I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a date by the end of tonight.”

Seven noticed the sour expression that washed over Kathryn’s face.  “Am I sufficient?”  She’d only seen that look when Seven went out without her.

Kathryn shook herself from a reverie, “Yes, of course.”  She offered her hand to help Seven off the stool.   To her surprise, she actually took it.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime, love,” she whispered, then froze, as did Seven.  Janeway’s heart beat a million times a second over what she’d just said, her face contorted with fear.  “I-” she tried to explain, but there was no explanation.  She didn’t know where the word had come from.  She just spoke it.  Seven’s porcelain stare bore into her as they stood in silence.

Finally, Kathryn ducked her head and disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind her.  Seven, baffled and confused, stood for a few moments before deciding against waiting any longer.  She stalked easily to the bathroom and opened the door.  Kathryn sat on the floor against the wall with her knees tucked under her chin, her head buried in the crook her body formed.

Slowly, Seven walked over and bent down before her friend then placed a hand on her head, attempting to raise it.  “Will you tell me what’s wrong?”  Her voice was soft, comforting.  In the three months she’d been on Earth with Kathryn, she noticed their relationship shifting into something closer, something more intimate that what it had been on Voyager, and she liked that.  She hoped that bond would allow her to help.

Kathryn rolled her head side to side.  She didn’t want to speak with Seven any more than she wanted to speak with her former fiancé Mark.  Living in the same town with the man was bad enough.  Being able to see how happy and content he was with his life made her feel worthless, insignificant.

She reflected over what she said to Seven again.  Did she want someone to hold so bad as to call her best friend love as if she were her spouse?  Despite the good feeling Seven’s touch was offering, she groaned, “Go away.”

“I won’t.”  Kathryn lifted her head, eyes a raging storm of blue and gray.  Seven sat crossed legged on the tiled floor like a stubborn mule.

“You’ll miss your dinner.  Go.”  Kathryn dropped her head to her knees again.

“Only,” she forced Janeway’s head up, “if you will go with me.”  Something sparked deep down in Kathryn’s eyes, Seven saw, but nothing came of it.  She ripped her face from Seven’s grasp and buried it again.

“I said go away.”

Seven leaned close to her ear, whispering, “It’s okay if you love me, Kathryn.”  When Janeway finally raised her head, Seven stood and offered a hand up.  “Come with me tonight.”  One of the things she feared with Janeway was that she’d slip into depression.  She knew it was possible; she’d seen it for herself in the Void, and it was something she never wanted happen again.  “Please.”  Kathryn shook her head no.  “Why?”  Seven never dropped her arm.

Janeway looked at Seven as if she was stupid in asking the question.  “Your… friends, Seven.  They don’t like me.”

“Anyone who dislikes you is not my friend.”  Her words softened Kathryn’s face some before she left the room.

Kathryn sat wide-eyed at Seven’s hasty departure.  Her jaw dropped slightly.  What does it matter anyway?  Just as she was about to drop her head, so the threatening tears could fall unseen, Seven came back through the door.  “Why did you change?”  Instead of the silky dress she helped Seven get into earlier she had on a pair of cream colored slacks and a light sweater.  “You’re going to that dinner without me, Seven.  I told you, I’m not going.”

“I’m- we are not going to the dinner.  It’s not important.”  Not waiting for Kathryn to take her hand, Seven grabbed her and pulled her up.

“Seven!”  Janeway lost her balance on the way up and felt slightly dizzy.  “You’re the guest of honor!  You have to go.”

“If I’m the guest of honor, I can do as I please.  And, you will come with me.”  Kathryn eyed her with warning.  “Not to the dinner.”

“I look like hell, Seven.  I’m not going anywhere.”

“You look… fine.”  Seven tugged her out of the bathroom, through the bedroom, down the stairs and out of the house.  Not without struggle, though.  “You do not require shoes.”

“My feet are cold.”  Seven only shook her head as she dragged her down the street.

“Stop complaining.  You will enjoy this.”  Within a few minutes, they entered a small park.  Seven knew exactly where she was going and pinpointed the exact spot within seconds.

“Seven, if we’re going to see the sunset, I all ready have.  It’s nothing new to me.”  She sounded bored, annoyed almost.

“Sit.”  Seven pointed to a taller spec of grass on the ground.  Janeway glanced at her questioningly.  “Sit.”

Conceding, Kathryn sat facing the water.  “Now what?”  She looked up at Seven for her next cue, but she only smiled.  Even though she’d grown more since being on Earth, smiling was still something Seven rarely did.  “Whoa.”  Vibrations gradually started up from the ground.  “What the hell…?”  Now, Seven was laughing.  The sensation the tremors were causing weren’t all un-pleasurable.

“I don’t know what it is.  I’ve never felt anything like that before.”

“It’s interesting to say the least, Seven,” Janeway snickered.  She could think of at least three things that provided similar results.

“Have you?”

Janeway stood, not needing that sort of tease.  “Have I what?”

“Felt something like that?”

Stifling a laugh, Kathryn answered, “Yes, something similar to that.”  As she sat on a nearby bench, Seven joined her.  She hoped Seven wouldn’t pursue more answers.  “I’m sorry about what I said back at the house.  I don’t know where it came from.”

“As I told you,” Seven curled a leg underneath her and stretched an arm on the back of the bench, “it’s okay if you love me.  I love you, too.”

Kathryn whipped her head around to face her.  “Seven?”

“Yes, Kathryn?”  Seven was alternatively cool about her revelation.

She immediately dismissed the notion that Seven could be in love with her rather than just loving her.  “Never mind.”

They continued to sit in silence watching the sun set.  Around them, soft lights replaced the diminishing rays of sun.  A few people walked by catching their attention.  Some had dogs, some had children, and others were alone or hand in hand.

One particular couple had caught Seven’s eye as they passed: a pair of males walking slowly hand in hand. Despite knowing the fact that same gendered relationships were common place, she’d never seen a couple in person.  “Are you in love with me, Kathryn?”  Janeway just turned her head and stared.  Seven tilted her head, motioning for an answer.

“Let’s get home.  It’s getting cold out here.”  Without waiting for a rebuttal, Kathryn left the bench.  Seven caught up to her quickly, as she thought she would.  She didn’t count on her sweeping her hand up in her own, though.  It took her by surprise, but she didn’t refuse the warmth and security the touch brought.  Kathryn thought she might and brought Seven’s hand up to her mouth, kissing it softly.

“D-”

Janeway stopped and placed her free hand on Seven’s lips to hush her.  Silence overcame them again as they started to walk, but Janeway soon broke it.  “If I denied it at this point, I’d be a fool.  I’ve been in denial for a long time, I guess.  I’d forgotten.  The emotion was so numb.  Most of me is unfeeling now.  No work; no play; no thought.  Just action.  That’s how I’ve functioned for eight years.”

“I don’t believe that.”  Beside her, Kathryn looked up.  “If you were acting, why am I who I am?”

Janeway thought for a moment.  Seven had a point.  “Who you are was always there, Seven.  All I did was help give it back to you.  You were the one who looked inside for all the answers.”

Seven shook her head, “I don’t believe that either.  Where would I have known to look if not for you?”

“Stop putting it on all me, all right.  I don’t want that responsibility.”

Janeway’s harshness stopped her cold.  Her hand tugged forward until Kathryn stopped and turned, but she didn’t let go.  “Why do you think the things you do?”

Kathryn blinked.  “How else am I supposed to think?  What else am I supposed to think?  I got us all the back here, didn’t I?

“No,” Seven spoke defiantly.  Kathryn let Seven’s hand go, but Seven kept hold and pulled her closer.

“Let me go!”  Janeway struggled to release Seven’s grasp, but she was either too weak or not in the mood to do it.  Both, her mind argued, and she gave up dropping her head to Seven’s chest, the threatening tears of earlier spilling without warning.  “I think we’ve both been in emotional hell the last few years,” Janeway whispered in a hoarse voice after bridling her tears.  She cleared her throat.  “Maybe its about time we get out?”  Seven smiled at her.  “Is it too late to get to that dinner of yours, Ms Guest of Honor?”