All Dressed Up For San Francisco:
All To Myself

The restaurant was buzzing with voices, loud and soft, laughing and serious, but only one was keeping her direct attention.  Seven had donned the pale lavender colored dress again before they’d left the house.  Kathryn decided on something a little less showy, but a tad more daring with a lower neckline, settling on a faintly shimmering dark blue fabric that hugged her upper body but flowed gently to the ground.  Whoever said fashionably late was something to be frowned upon obviously didn’t have them in mind.  She smiled recalling how the group reacted as she strolled in hanging off Seven’s arm like a handbag.  It was as if someone halted a holodeck program full swing.

Now, the young woman was standing behind a podium speaking about something she couldn’t entirely comprehend.  Though music wasn’t something Kathryn took up herself – she’d die before even attempting to sing for an audience, even herself – and she understood all the words coming from Seven’s mouth, the phrases went in one ear and out the opposite.  A rough poke in her ribs rudely woke her from the reverie, and she knew exactly who it was.

The Doctor, after returning to Earth, had been declared a sentient being by the appropriate officials.  It still shocked her how inviting Starfleet had been to listening to the idea at all and then accepting it and making it a fact.  Though the hologram still hadn’t come up with a name for his self, he was doing very well going so far as to opening a private practice outside of the organization.  Now, Kathryn wished he’d just go away.

She turned her head slowly, hoping the anger she felt rising didn’t show on her face, but the grimace on his own told her he regretted that little jab.  “Doctor,” she whispered sternly, not wanting to disturb Seven’s speech, “later.”  Despite her not being his captain any longer, he sat straight and shut his mouth keeping his hands to himself before she returned her attentions to Seven.  She damned him as she caught the guest of honor striding back to the table.  Quiet and controlled clapping finally drummed into her ears.  Kathryn took in a deep breath to check her irritation.

Seven took her seat to the right of Janeway and instantly grabbed the glass of juice she’d left before, chugging the contents in record time.  She turned her head placing the glass on the fabric-covered table noticing the amused look on Kathryn’s face.  “Do not say a word.”

Sitting puzzled in his chair, the Doctor shook his head and spoke up, “Seven, that was a wonderful speech.  You’re a natural.”

Hearing that, Kathryn had to cover her mouth to prevent laughter from spilling out.  She knew Seven hated speaking, alone, in front of a crowd, be it strangers or peers.  Seven’s eyes were sharp and on her.

“Thank, you, Doctor.”  Despite the frustration she had concerning her date, Seven stood and offered her a hand.  Kathryn looked at it then up at her face, confusion lacing her features.  “I wish to dance.”  Seven was sure she saw a flash of fear cloud Kathryn’s eyes at the thought; however, the storm quickly dissipated and Kathryn took her hand gently.  “We will return,” she spoke to the Doctor as her partner settled beside her.  His matrix was perplexed by the looks of his face; Seven smirked as she turned and walked to where other couples were moving with the rhythms of music, Kathryn’s hand inside her own.

“I think we just gave the good Doctor a bit of a shock,” Kathryn giggled as they swayed along.  “You could have asked him; you know?”

Seven tilted her head back a little, “Why would I have done that when I wish to be with you?”

She felt a blush creeping up her neck, flushing her face.  “I see your point.  I thought maybe you wouldn’t want to be so open with me in front of your friends.”  Kathryn felt slightly embarrassed in stating her apprehension, she whispered.

Keeping in time with the melody, Seven raised a hand to a troubled face and lifted it, “Since when do you know me to be withdrawn?”  Kathryn’s eyes darted from side to side a few times before resettling.  “You, as well.  I’ve never seen you so reticent before.”

Not wanting to fight her inner demons anymore, Kathryn let them out to play.  “I don’t know who I am anymore,” she choked out in a raspy whisper before laying her head on Seven’s chest.  The tight hug Seven’s arms pulled her into forced a tear from her closed eyes.

“The answers are there,” Seven whispered into Kathryn’s ear, “you just have to know where to look.”

“And, what if I don’t know where to look?”  She felt her tears coming steadily now, falling freely wetting lavender to dark.

“Then, we will take that journey together.”  The auburn head beneath her chin shifted upward, Kathryn’s eyes locking onto her own.  “If you wish.”  She wiped the tears gently from her face after a minor nod.  “I don’t enjoy seeing you cry, Kathryn.”

Through a rueful, somber expression, a soft smile appeared.  “I promise I won’t make a habit out of it.”  Still flowing with the motions of the song, Kathryn balanced herself uneasily on her toes, leaning up to place an engaging kiss to Seven’s lips.  She was very glad Seven still had her arms around her waist; her legs were feeling like jelly and she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to keep going for much longer.  “I’m falling,” she whispered after dropping her weight onto her feet.  When Seven gripped her tighter, she laughed silently.

“I will never let you fall.”

The sincerity in Seven’s voice made her laugh a bit more.  “Does that mean you won’t let me fall in love with you?”  Seven was taken aback by the question.  “Because, I think I am; or, at least, like I said, I’m finally allowing myself to feel it.”

“Which ever the case may be, I’ll always be here to catch you when you fall.”

Kathryn smiled.  “You have, haven’t you?  Since we’ve been here, I’ve been struggling with myself.  Seven,” her low voice was grave, hardly heard over the music, “I’ve thought about taking my life in the last two months, but,” Seven’s eyes went wide, “every time I thought I wanted to, you were there making me laugh and keeping my mind off I thought I wanted.”

“Why?”

She ducked her head to the left, “I’m…  I don’t want to get lost again.”

“You’re afraid that if you accept another command, something similar to Voyager will happen.”

Hearing the words coming out some someone’s mouth, rather than hearing it in her mind, that mocking, childish voice somehow made her fear irrational and thick.  “Yes, I guess I am.  It’s stupid, isn’t it?  To think that.”

“It’s a valid concern, but an illogical fear since it’s unlikely it will happen again.”  Seven squeezed Kathryn again for reassurance, an act that didn’t go unnoticed.

“May I?”

Kathryn suppressed a groan when she heard the Doctor.  She looked up at Seven who seemed amused by the intrusion.

“I must speak with Chloe about our next performance.”  She placed a feathery kiss on Kathryn’s forehead and squeezed her hands before departing, leaving her with the Doctor.  Seven could only imagine what the man would say in her absence.

The Doctor smiled as he picked up Kathryn’s hands and continued where Seven left off in the dance.  Only he stayed quiet.

“Your thoughts?”

He didn’t look anything close to surprised at the question.  It was exactly why he’d come over.  “It was only a matter of time.  I’ll have to send a communiqu頴o Tom about this so he can end his betting pool.”  He watched Kathryn’s eyes widen in distress.  “It was a joke, Captain, calm down.”

“You’ve kept in contact with Tom?”

“A few messages here and there.  What can I say?  The crew misses me.”

Kathryn laughed.  At least the Doctor’s ego was still in tact.  “Not that you need to hear this, but I’m glad you approve.  I’ve been in seclusion about my feelings for her for a very long time, I was so afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Everything.”  The song finally ended giving Kathryn the way out she wished for.  “Why don’t we finish this at the table, hm?”  He nodded politely and led the way back through the crowd still on the floor.  He even held her chair out and pushed her in.  “Thank you.”

“Have you heard from Chakotay lately?”

She ducked her head.  She’d been avoiding her former First Officer since their return to Earth.  After three weeks, Seven took it upon her to speak with him when he called.  “In a way, yes.  Seven relays his messages to me,” she added in a mumble, “when I’m in the mood.”

“Why have you been avoiding him?”

Kathryn looked at him, her eyes sharp.  “Is this you asking or Chakotay?”  A cloud passed over his holographic eyes.  “If he really wanted to talk to me, he’d come see me.”

The Doctor was shocked.  “You know he can’t.”

“That’s not my problem.  You’re his doctor, you fix him.”

“So I am; however, I can’t fix all that damage within three months.  His body needs time to regenerate.  He’s been through a terrible ordeal and I can’t just go in and fix it in five minutes.”

Sighing, she leaned back in her chair.  “I’m sorry, I-” Chakotay’s accident was still breathing in her mind.  There was no one to blame for it, being a random accident, but Kathryn still felt as if part of it was because of her.  “Considering I gave him the order, I guess I blame myself a little for it happening.”  She raised her hand to stop him from speaking, “I know; I shouldn’t, but I do.”  From behind, she felt a hand on her shoulder.  Instinctively knowing it was Seven, Kathryn closed her eyes and leaned into the pressure.

“Are you ready to leave?”

“So soon?”  Kathryn looked up to find Seven upset.  “What’s wrong?”  She hopped up and turned in one motion grabbing Seven’s hand.

“It’s nothing for you to worry about.  If you wish to stay, we will.”  Seven moved to sit in the chair she previously inhabited, but Kathryn kept her standing.

“We can go.”  She turned back to the Doctor, and, keeping Seven’s hand in her own, she leaned down to hug him.  “We’ll see you soon?”

He nodded, “Of course.”  He turned his head toward Seven.  “Congratulations and good luck.”

A small smile sprouted over the frown, “Thank you.  Good night, Doctor.”

Kathryn led the way to the door, not stopping for anyone to say good night to her or Seven.  A simple phrase would do, rude or not.  When they reached the end of the block, she spoke up.  “Just because it’s minute doesn’t mean I care any less.”

“I told you, it’s nothing you need to worry about.  Our next performance has been canceled.  That’s all.”

“You’re sure?”  Kathryn wasn’t buying it.  Something big had to have happened for the level of distress Seven was showing.  “I know you better than this, Seven; there’s something more isn’t there?”  Although her pace was slow, it was choppy indicating she wasn’t happy and when Seven sighed she knew her intuition had been correct.  “It’s Chloe, isn’t it?”  She received no answer.  “She never did like me.”

“No, she doesn’t.  She is no longer a problem.”

“I can only imagine what she said to you to make you that upset.”  Kathryn thought about the second statement.  “You didn’t dismiss her did you?

The thought had crossed her mind.  “Chloe quit on her own.  I gave her two options, she opted for one of her own.”

“Isn’t it good to be head of the class?” she laughed.  “Messing with you is not something anyone should make a habit of doing, and she seems to have had her fair share of your ‘bad side’ lately.”

“She’s simply jealous, Kathryn.  A week after I joined the choir, she mad her intentions toward me clear.  I made mine clear toward her as well.  The day she met you, she decided to hate you for something no one had control over.  This situation is her fault.”

Smiling, Kathryn remembered when jealousy overcame her.  Nevertheless, for Chloe, she felt no remorse.  Whatever she had said to Seven was obviously rude, out of line, and her dismissal warranted.  “I’ve had my fair share of being jealous.  It’s fortunate I know how to control it or I’d never be where I am today.”

Seven walked, complacent, beside Kathryn a few blocks.  The quiet was welcome after the noise of the small banquet.  She’d overheard some of the conversation her companion had with the Doctor and felt compelled to say something, though.  It did bother her, as much as it bothered the Doctor and Chakotay, that Kathryn refused to speak with the man.  She’d planned to bring it up eventually, but since the Doctor all ready had previous, she guessed it was a good time.  “Would you come with me tomorrow?”

Intrigued, Kathryn momentarily looked over at Seven.  “Where to?”  Instead of the distress she noticed before, unease laced Seven’s features.

“You will not decline?”

“That depends on where you’re taking me.”  Sighing, Seven quickly spit the sentence out in one breath.  “I don’t want to see him, Seven.  You know that.”

“I do; however, he wishes to see you.  What harm is there in taking an hour from your time of doing absolutely nothing to see the man who helped you through some of the roughest times in your life?”  Seven cringed the instant her words left her lips and Kathryn halted.  “I apologize.”  Despite the petite size of the woman before her, anger seemed to make the redhead grow to an immense size.  “I only meant that since you have the time to see him, you should go.”  Oddly enough, Kathryn still held her hand and even picked up the opposite one.  “Are you angry with me?”

“You know I blame myself for what happened to Chakotay.”  Seven nodded.  “Good.  Then you also know that I have to decide to see him when I am ready to see him.  Conversation over.  Let’s go home.”  Walking backward, she pulled Seven along almost skipping.  “Don’t you agree it’s a beautiful night?”

The sudden mood change puzzled her, but she went with it.  “I agree that you are beautiful.  This night is hardly of note in comparison.”  Seven tugged Kathryn back and into an embrace.  Kathryn looked up into the night sky, so she did, too.

“The moonlight catches in your eyes.”

She felt her brow reaching for the moon in question.  “It could also be the street lamps, no?”

Kathryn nudged her hard, amused, pushing her away.  “Stop ruining it for me!”  Seven pulled her back again, wrapping their arms behind her small back.  She looked up at the stars again wondering what was going on beyond her reach.

“You wish you were up there.”

“Sometimes I do,” she whispered.  “But then sometimes,” she leaned up to lay her lips upon Seven’s, “I’m totally happy here.”  Before she pulled away to drag Seven home, she found herself swept up in a whirlwind of emotion.  Seven’s lips against hers sent electric sensations to every point in her body; she felt heated from the enthusiasm her partner exuded.  A sharp, honeyed, sense of lightheadedness washed over her before she came to her senses, and even then, the feeling lingered making the kiss feel like a dream.  “I think we should get back,” she was breathless, “so I don’t collapse in the streets.”

Giggling, Seven started walking, holding Kathryn’s waist just in case she did start to fall.  “Are you sure it’s not that you can have me all to yourself?”

She was glad for the support around her waist.  Despite knowing she was walking one foot in front of the other, Kathryn felt as if a cloud was doing all the work.  “Having you all to myself for a while is a benefit, too.”  After a few minutes of comfortable silence, she decided to drop a bomb; or, at least, she thought it was a bomb.  “They keep offering me a ship.”  Seven merely shifted her head slightly.  “The Edificate.  Akira class; nice vessel.”

“Why don’t you take it?”

Kathryn stopped on the first step and turned around to look at Seven.  “I told you.  I need to feel grounded, both mentally and physically, before I can take something like that again.  I want to be out there looking for new people and discovering new things, but I- Akira class vessels are sent into deep space because of their ability to travel long distances quickly.  And with the advancement in the slipstream drive,” she changed tones shortly, “thank you very much, Starfleet decided to install the damn drive in every new ship.  After they get the new ships fitted, they’re going to start calling others back to be refitted with it.”  She sighed, “It makes me feel as if I’m never going to see Earth again if I go back out there.”

Seeing the tears begin to well, she pulled the falsely tall, diminutive woman toward her, Kathryn’s arms reaching around hugging her tightly.  “I know.”  They kept still for a few minutes, Kathryn absorbing Seven’s strength, until she leaned back wiping her eyes dry.  “Like with Chakotay, you’ll know when it’s time.”  Smiling, Kathryn stepped backward up the stairs leading Seven into their home.