You

How will I ever know what you’re feelin’?
How will I ever know what to do?
If you simply refuse to tell me
What’s goin’ on inside of you?
Have a little faith in me
Baby can’t you see
You’ve got to talk to me

Kathryn stared into the singer’s big blue eyes knowing her admirer was in the next room once again. The familiarity of the voice was easily detectable this time. It was an easy guess that the computer was programmed to splice the original voice with the real one.

If the emotions in the hologram’s eyes were evidence, Kathryn was in for a lot of trouble. Despite the fact that they kept hiding behind the holodecks and mystifying notes, whichever female crewmember it was honestly loved her and held no shame about it.

When the music faded, she realized her body was moving in time with the beat even though she was sitting. A smirk passed over her lips as the hologram disappeared and the familiar podium appeared in her place. Remembering the look in the holograms eyes, Kathryn took a sharp breath into her lungs, filling them to their capacity before exhaling slowly and closing her eyes.

The copper-haired, blue-eyed singer reappeared forty minutes after Kathryn’s eyes closed. Moments went by as she stood vigil over her, watching the petite woman and how vulnerable she seemed to be in her sleep. Oh, Kathryn… the voice echoed in her mind twice over with two distinct tones and patterns. “Computer,” she whispered, the computer answering with a beep at the ready, “I need one goose down comforter.” As soon as the blanket materialized at the end of the sofa Kathryn slept on, the hologram picked it up, unfolded it and carefully tucked her captain in.

Kathryn stirred shortly, a small moan escaping her lips as her body unconsciously settled comfortably on the sofa cushions. She pulled the blanket up under her chin then buried her nose into it, content to sleep curled up in the corner. The copper-haired hologram reached down and tucked errant locks of auburn hair behind a dainty ear before stepping back and just watching the woman she loved sleep.

She’d stood for hours before the tired feeling caught up with her real body next door. Not wanting to leave, but knowing she had to, she bent at the waist and placed a faint kiss on Kathryn’s temple. Waiting a few more moments, she knew her actions were right then fizzled away.

In Holodeck One, deft fingers tapped the control console to locate the next song. Finding two that matched the desired criteria, they were downloaded and mixed together to form one response. The fingers picked up the pen and tore a piece of paper from the book to write the meaningful words down before being transported to the table in Holodeck Two where it would be read by smiling blue eyes.

“Computer,” the answering beep rang in Kathryn's ears, “state the time.” She sat up, feeling something brush off her, and rubbed her eyes.

“Five hundred thirty-three hours.”

Looking around, all she saw was a fire burning in a stone hearth. Lovely, I slept on the holodeck. B’Elanna’s going to love me for this. Stretching, something fell even farther off her. Grabbing it, she was surprised to find a soft white material in her hands. At least I know I’ll never get cold at night, she mused, if this actually happens. Yawning again, she stood and stretched her legs. Even in the dark, she saw the parchment waiting for her on the dark grained coffee table.

With a growing smile, she picked up the paper and read:

When she looked up, the lights came up illuminating the deck with a soft glow reminding her of the sunrises back on Earth. With the lights materialized a cup of coffee on the table along with two slices of buttered toast. Shrugging habit, Kathryn bit into the toast before drowning herself in the coffee, which turned out to be the same special blend from the previous day. Smiling still, she bit off another piece of the warm bread, grabbed the pen waiting for her, and pulled the clean sheet of parchment closer.

Amazingly, there was a note waiting for her when she waltzed onto the Bridge not fifteen minutes after leaving the holodeck. A quick sonic shower and another cup of coffee squared the morning off and lead it toward the right direction. The note just added to the day’s delight. Through, she had to admit, no matter which replicator she was using, the one in her quarters or the one in her ready room, where she sat then, the coffee had to be the highlight. She wasn’t sure if the entire replicator system was reprogrammed to give out the special blend or if it was voice recognition on her part that prompted the steamy cups to materialize. Either way, she was smiling genuinely for the first time in a long time.

Looking at how neatly her name was inscribed on the note face made her smile easily grow. The expression slid onto her features quietly and stayed without her realizing.

“Well,” the smile dissipated into a slow grin, “she’s Human and she’s admitted she’s female. I think that’s a start.” Nodding, she continued, the satisfied smirk lingering.

The door chime interrupted her thoughts for just a moment. “Come.” Without looking up when the doors hissed open and closed, she held her free hand out with a finger up, giving up her precious coffee shortly, “One moment, Seven.”

As she completed the note, a soft sigh escaped her lips and she sat back in her chair looking at her Astrometrics officer through a haze. “What can I do for you, Seven?” Janeway noted a curious stare coming from Seven’s lofty height. “Seven?”

Janeway tilted her head to the side, the haze lifting. She detected something more than curiosity behind the cool exterior Seven choose to face off with. Seven? Articulate? Carefully, she eyed her subordinate up and down cautious not to linger on certain curvaceous areas. She sighed. I certainly could do worse. She keeps me on my toes. Smiling mischievously, Janeway spoke, “Just reading another note from my secret admirer.” She was thoughtful for a moment. “I haven’t seen much of you lately, Seven. Care to join me for,” her hesitation was momentary, but she knew Seven caught it, “a game of Velocity and dinner afterward?”

The shock was written neatly in Seven’s expression. Janeway was right. They hadn’t seen one another much outside of duty lately. “That would be acceptable.” She smiled inwardly knowing Janeway saw it despite the hindrance.

“You still didn’t answer my question.” For a nanosecond, Seven looked frightened. Her weakened appearance was quickly covered with a familiar impenetrable face.

“About why you’re here,” she prompted. She grinned slightly seeing the faint relief flood Seven’s azure colored eyes. Right. I could do worse.

“Oh.” Seven straightened then reached out offering a padd. “I realize,” she spoke slowly, “this matter could have waited until later; however, since we haven’t engaged in recreational activities for two point three weeks I thought I’d give this to you now.”

Puzzled and intrigued, Janeway took the proffered padd and scanned it. She looked at Seven, even more confused than she had been. “Is this what I think this is?” Seven nodded, the jitters showing. Another huge smile wiped the bewilderment off her face. “Has anyone else seen it yet?” She was hoping it was for her eyes only. Internally, her voice snickered, Captain’s right, Katie.

Janeway raised a hand to shush her. “No more need be said.” She held the padd to her chest protectively. “For my eyes only.”

Again, the relief flooded Seven’s eyes. Her posture even relaxed. “Thank you, Captain.”

Uneasy with the name, she sat forward, keeping the padd close to her. “I think it’s about time you use my first name,” she whispered as if it were a secret directive. For our ears only.

Seven’s eyes widened for a moment and a smile not so much larger than her normal undetectable one sprouted on her full lips. “I shall see you later, Kathryn.”

Kathryn smiled hearing her name rolling off Seven’s tongue. Not too many people called her that anymore. It felt better to be the woman not the captain. “Eighteen hundred thirty hours. Holodeck two.” Seven nodded then easily strode from her office leaving her in quiet contemplation. “Couldn’t be?” Could be, her mind agreed.

As she pulled the console closer, she felt the padd Seven gave her near her chest and picked it up. She looked at it then looked at the parchment lying on the desk by the abandoned coffee. Debating, Kathryn looked at the padd to see how long the piece was. Not even a page. Debating still, Kathryn drained the coffee cup. Leaving it on her desk, she grabbed the parchment and the padd and exited through the Bridge.

Chakotay didn’t lift a brow. Tuvok kept his eyes on his station. Harry looked up and smiled faintly at her. Tom was busy tapping controls. Seven turned just as the turbo lift doors shut her view out. She shook her head, ordering the lift to deck six. Stepping through the threshold of Holodeck Two, the doors closed and the familiar ‘Holodeck doors are sealed’ by the computer greeted her. The hearth, table and sofa shimmered into existence looking exactly as she’d left it. The blanket was still crumpled in the corner of the cushions. Sitting, placing the padd and the note to the side, she noticed the only difference was a clean piece of parchment and the pen on the table.

“What? No coffee?” Kathryn was expecting it to materialize, but when it didn’t, she laughed and grabbed the pen, pulling the paper close to the edge of the table.

As she soon as she folded the paper and lay it down, it was gone in a glimmer of sparkles. “Computer, play musical selection Janeway two-forty-three.” A compliant beep followed. The soft classical music flowed through the deck. Retrieving the padd, she settled back into the cushions and started to read Seven’s text.

Kathryn looked up and let the padd fall to her lap in a limp grasp. Flabbergasted, she sat on the sofa, jaw hung loosely, wondering just what Seven was talking about. She wasn’t sure if she should call Seven into the holodeck, go to her or let her be until she approached her about the writing she held in her hand. What Kathryn did know was that she’d invited Seven for dinner later that night.

Still dabbing a towel on her sweaty skin, Kathryn led the way back to her quarters to discuss what to have for dinner. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to the Mess Hall, Seven?” She looked up at the woman striding next to her and knew the answer before she opened her mouth.

“I would prefer the privacy your quarters offer.”

Why she bothered asking was beyond her. Kathryn let the doors open then stood aside, motioning for Seven to move through the threshold first. Seven nodded as she entered the living area. “So, what would you like? And,” she countered before Seven had a chance to rebut, “don’t try to get away with a nutritional supplement. How about something light since it is so late?” She passed Seven and made headway to the replicator.

“It’s only late because you insisted upon three games, Kathryn.” Seven stood uneasily in the middle of the room.

Turning back detecting the sarcasm in Seven’s tone, Kathryn smiled. “Do I detect a bit of soreness, Seven?” The ex-Borg shifted her balance. “You’ll get me one of these days, but tonight just wasn’t your night. Now,” she turned back to the replicator.

Shocked, Kathryn swiveled her head around. “Roasted chicken. Wild Rice. Steamed carrots.” She blinked forcefully. “Roasted chicken with wild rice and a side of steamed carrots?” Seven merely nodded at her, wide-eyed and innocent as if nothing was out of the ordinary. “O-okay.” Still lost, she turned again to the replicator and opened her mouth to request the meal.

“It’s not as satisfying from the replicator as it is when I hand prepare it, but tonight it will suffice.”

Kathryn stuttered the order hearing the small confession. Seven can cook? She shook it off and restated what Seven wanted, then added, “Make that two.” With two plates in hand, she turned and placed them on the table. “Something to drink?” She found it hard to find her breath.

Nodding, she once again faced the hole in the wall. “Water and coffee.” Instantly, she sipped at the steaming cup and sighed for the relief and comfort it offered her fraying nerves. Too much new information tonight. Wheeling, cups of water and coffee in hand, Kathryn motioned for Seven to sit and placed the glass before her. As they dug in to their meals, the air hung in silence. Kathryn eyed Seven carefully, just barely lifting her eyes. “I read what you wrote this afternoon.” Seven hesitated with the fork to her mouth. “It’s a private thing to be sharing with me, Seven.”

“You realize you were talking about yourself in the third person?” She’d stopped eating, now, and held the fork in mid-air watching Seven nervously continue the meal.

A small smirk came to her lips. “Yes, and me.” She sipped the coffee again and sighed, closing her eyes. “I wish I knew,” she breathed after swallowing.

Eyes open, Kathryn studied Seven’s face. Curiosity, like a kitten’s, was on her patrician features. “This coffee,” she hoisted the cup then brought it back to her lips for another sip before placing it back on the table. “And my secret admirer. Whoever she is, she has me on my toes. Or, by my toes,” she said thoughtfully, looking to the side.

Laughing lightly, Kathryn asked, “Are you all right?” Seven nodded and swallowed hard. “Yes, she.” Delving back into her meal, Kathryn chewed on some rice before saying any more. Maybe not then, her inner voice was disappointed. The reaction was far too natural and surprised for it to be her. Damn.

A dark smile captivated her lips now as she closed them over a piece of chicken. She pointed her fork at Seven and waggled it a little as she chewed and swallowed. “I wasn’t sure until today. When you came to see me this afternoon, I was reading another note from her and my suspicions were confirmed. She’s human as well, which narrows it down a bit, but not too much. I just wish I knew,” she spoke wistfully. “She’s quite elusive, too. Every time there’s a note, a holodeck program awaits me. Sofa, hearth with a fire and a coffee table and sometimes,” a blush crept up on her, “there’s someone in there to sing to me. And somehow, she’s perfected coffee.” Popping another piece of chicken into her mouth, she watched Seven. They chewed, comfortable in their silence. “What are you thinking?”

Seven stared at her for a long time, her jaw moving slowly to chew the food. “I don’t know.”

Kathryn nodded. “Fair enough.” She smiled wanting to admit her thoughts. Seven’s hand moved another forkful to her mouth. “I admit, she said slowly, “I thought it was you.” Seven never missed a beat. “After I read what you wrote today, I was almost certain, too.” Now, she nodded. “Seven, you’re not making this easy on me.” She was half amused by the other woman’s passive behavior. “Is it you?” The question held hesitant hope.

Seven looked at her. “Would you like it to be?” Kathryn sucked in a breath and held it. “Kathryn, breathe.” When she did, her chest rose and fell heavily for a few moments. “No, I haven’t been sending you love letters.”

“Oh,” she whispered, a tone that gave way to her discontent. Kathryn’s eyes dropped to her plate.

As Seven opened her mouth, the sparkle of a transporter beam illuminated at the center of the table followed by the materialization of a piece of parchment, Kathryn’s name neatly scribed on it in blue ink. She looked at it then at Kathryn who was looking back at her. “Are you going to read it? I can give you some privacy…”

“No, you don’t have to go.” Kathryn reached for the paper and flipped it open. Her eyes fell on longing, hurting words.

Closing the paper, she set it aside. “I’m sorry I assumed it was you. I guess I was hoping, I…” she half laughed. “I never expected this and my mind is reeling with so much.” Finally, she looked at the blonde. “If it turned out to be you, I could only account myself as very lucky. I hope you can find someone who feels the same way for you as she does for me.”

“If there was someone, I’d want him or her to be as similar to you as could be.” Kathryn furrowed her brow in confused flattery. “If you read what I wrote, you understand.”

Kathryn nodded, “I do.” Pausing for a moment, she added quietly, “Thank you.” Seven dipped her head then pushed her chair out. “Where are you going?”

Seven moved around her to the replicator and placed it on the shelf to be recycled. Turning, she hesitated only a moment thinking about placing her hands on her friend’s shoulders before doing so. “I’m allowing you the time to get to the holodeck before you sleep.” She squeezed then moved away. “Good night, Kathryn.” She smiled as the door hissed open.

“Good night, Seven,” she smiled back. With a slight nod, Seven left her quarters. After the door closed, Kathryn shot a glance at the note and picked it up then went over the words again. As she read them, a strong wave of disappointment settled over her. “Damn it, Seven.”

Dwelling on new feeling’s that would remain unexplored, Kathryn dumped the plate into the replicator, recycled it, and then jumped out the door. Reaching the holodecks, both were occupied. She slammed her hand against the bulkhead and swore. An ensign down the hall turned and gasped at the sound. She shrugged and the girl laughed and went on her way.

Though Tom and Harry only had fifteen minutes left, she knew their habits and figured waiting was futile. Still, she took a seat on the floor across from the door and crossed her legs.

She dozed lightly, the doors opening waking her up. When they came out, she kept her gaze on them. Noticing her, they stopped talking and halted. “You’re lucky I’m so patient. If it were the Doctor, you two would have been out of there forty-three minutes ago.” Standing, she passed them both without allowing them a word.

Inside, the doors sealed, the familiar intonation of the computer greeted her before the program, offering the comforts of the sofa, warm fire and a table to prop her feet up on, ran. Tonight, another woman was present. The first blonde appeared on the sofa curled up in her blanket. She was asleep. Not wanting to wake her, Kathryn sat opposite her in front of the fire. Her butt was beginning to tire of sitting on the deck plating, though, and the wood floor of the program reminded her of it.

The parchment was ready for her to write in, pen beside it, but dismissed them to watch the sleeping woman and wondered how exactly a few words could sway her heart. She’d yet to see the actual woman behind the letters and programs and thought about that. Not one to discriminate, Kathryn still wanted to be with someone she was at least attracted to physically. The petite blonde laying before her pleased the eye, but was it a guise totally opposite of who her admirer really was. She shook her head, grabbed the paper and pen and scribbled what was on her mind then found herself rereading it aloud:

“I love you more every passing day,” the blonde spoke quietly, rubbing her right eye. Kathryn looked up with wide eyes not realizing she was awake. “If you don’t… I have no control over you, Kathryn. You can do as you wish, but know that I’ll do everything in my power to sway you.”

A pent up breath escaped her lips as a laugh. “You have wonderful timing. Do you know that?”

“It did well to diffuse our conversation.” Kathryn resisted the urge to sit on the sofa. “Did you have a good nap?” The comfortable, relaxed position the woman sat in made it hard to stay put.

“I’d say quit, but I don’t trust any one else to get us home safe and sound.”

“I’m not so sure about that.” Kathryn adjusted her position on the floor, crossing her legs and leaning on the table.

Kathryn looked to the side, eyes shifting back and forth a few times before settling on the blonde again. “I don’t know. There’s a lot I’m afraid of. It might take a while.”

“I’d say yeah.” The blonde smiled and shimmered away. Kathryn jumped out, heart racing and headed for the door. Exiting, she went to the other holodeck and found it empty. She returned quietly to Holodeck Two and found the parchment again. On the back of it, she started:

Unable to sleep, Kathryn crept out of bed, changed and headed back to the holodeck. As earlier, Holodeck One was occupied. Entering Holodeck Two, she ordered the next program up and settled before the fire with the pen and paper.

This morning I’m aching all over. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep and I can’t rest. I need to go see the Doctor for this aching down deep in my chest. Is there a cure for the common heartache? Some unknown prescription any loser can take. If there were, I’d be the first to become addicted. If there’s a cure for the common heartache, I know right where I got I, this sickness that’s got me laid up. I don’t have the strength to fight it, this old condition called love. Tell me; is there a cure for the common heartache?

As she’d written, another piece of parchment with her name neatly scripted across the front materialized. After placing her note on the table and it shimmered away, Kathryn took up the one just sent.