In Dreams

Part 1

Seven dreams.

The man had touched her before, in some strangely violent yet gentle way. He had taken her life and given her life, and yet she died as surely as she would have had he never given her that kiss.

And now he approached her again, and she knew the pain and fear in her heart was not just a dream. In her sleep, she saw the eyes of that killer, she knew it had been centuries and she was not meant to see him again.

He would change her destiny.

"But I am done with you." She said to him, and she saw her reflection, a similar face, but without implants, her hair a little more yellow than it was now, and her breasts unnaturally round and pert. "My destiny with you was completed long ago."

"Your destiny with me will never be complete." He said, only his lips did not utter a sound. His eyes glowed with the burn of sunrise. "I will find you again. You come closer now, closer every moment. My sweet, you are coming home."

She saw her reflection, and though she felt his breath on the back of her neck, he cast no reflection.
Her mind could not identify a species with such a talent.

Yet he existed.

This she knew, even as she awoke from the deep sleep of regeneration. She knew.

*

"Captain." Seven had greeted Captain Janeway with a slight nod as the Captain stepped on the bridge and stepped past Seven.

Janeway took her seat, "How long until we reach the edge of this void?"

Chakotay paused before he answered. He saw the sleeplessness in the Captain's eyes; he saw that she was distracted. He answered, "Approximately two hours."

Seven stood at her usual station, and could tell even from here that Chakotay was concerned about Kathryn. Seven corrected her mind. Captain. She is the Captain, and I will address her as such.

Janeway stood unceremoniously, and spoke back over her shoulder, "I’ll be in my ready room."

The crew watched as she went, and when the doors closed behind her, Tom Paris turned to look at Chakotay, who held his hand up. He stood, and followed Kathryn.

Once inside the ready room, Chakotay stood before Kathryn's desk. She sat staring at the wall, a cup of coffee in her hand.

"Kathryn, what's wrong?" Chakotay saw no reason to dance around the subject.

"I'm not sure." Kathryn set her coffee down. "Chakotay, you've been my confidant before. I'm going to ask your confidence again… I need to talk, and I don't want what I'm to say to go beyond these walls. Understood?"

"Of course." Chakotay pulled up a chair, worried now because this wasn't like Kathryn. "What's going on?"

She turned in her chair and faced him, an almost haunted look to her eyes, and she spoke, "I had such a dream last night… I've dreamt before, odd dreams, scary dreams, surreal, as anyone has. But what I dreamed last night-" She stopped herself. "I have never awakened from a dream and thought it was real before, not like this. And you know I'm not one to take fanciful notions of what a dream might mean. I will, if reason dictates, look to the psychology of certain dreams, yes. But not anything more…"

Chakotay saw his friend staring now into that cup of coffee. Something had obviously disturbed her. "Why don't you tell me about this dream."

Kathryn seemed fixed on some point within her coffee cup, and she spoke. Her voice was flat, which bothered Chakotay a great deal. He listened.

"It was the beginning of Seven's shift," Kathryn began. "I had stepped into Astrometrics when she turned and faced me. Her throat-" Kathryn stopped, almost choking on her words. She took a sip of coffee before going on. "Her throat was torn open, her eyes seemed to plead with me for… something… even as she came after me. I ran, which felt so wrong, but I ran into the corridor and Seven came after me. I don't run, Chakotay."

Kathryn's eyes met his. "I don't run."

He nodded in understanding. "Go on."

"I was alone in that corridor, except for Seven coming after me. Doors opened at the end of the corridor, doors which aren't really on Voyager, and a man stood in that doorway… he was a human. He looked human. He reached his hand out for Seven. I looked back at her… her wound was gone. Her implants were gone. And she was wearing a dress, something from the twentieth century. She smiled at him, with such love and lust as I could only hope to see in her eyes and she went to him. And they were gone."

The story had Chakotay feeling a little better. From what he knew of dream interpretation, this made some sense. He reached over and set his hand on Kathryn's in an attempt to comfort her. "Kathryn, I realize this dream disturbed you, but I think it makes sense."

"Please, tell me how." She pushed her coffee away, her steel blue eyes awaiting his answer.

"I know you don't like to discuss your feelings for Seven."

"I'm her Captain."

"I know, Kathryn. Hear me out."

She sat back, and he went on.

"The symbolism is there- you love Seven. But you can't give it voice, and that is what her throat represented. She came toward you and you ran because on this ship, you cannot accept the affections of any member of your crew. The end of the corridor, that man- he's the man you've always feared would come into her life and take her from you."

"A woman might."

"But you fear a man will." Chakotay said. "Because a man took your first love from you."

Kathryn took a deep breath.

Chakotay leaned toward her, "I know how much you care for her. You have brought her almost to full human again, and you've helped her to get as close as anyone who's been through what she's been through can be at this point."

"And I know that if I could be closer I could give her so much more."

"And in your dream-"

"The man in the doorway healed her and made her complete."

Chakotay nodded. "What do you think? Make sense?"

Kathryn reluctantly nodded. "I've been so afraid of losing her lately, Chakotay. And it's ridiculous. How can you lose someone you've never had?"

*

Seven dreams.

He spoke to her, an ancient tongue, and his breath was like fire on her ear, "Soon. Soon, my love."
Seven's tongue was paralyzed. She was helpless as his hands traveled her body. Violation. This was violation.

Stop. The thought would not reach her lips. Stop! STOP!

A voice from nowhere, "Seven! Seven, wake up."

Seven's eyes snapped open. She found herself staring at the sickbay ceiling.

The Doctor stood above her. "Seven. Sorry to have to wake you. You've been sleeping-"

*
She was flustered, angry to find herself not where she should be. "I do not sleep. I regenerate." She sat up.

The Doctor stopped her from moving from the biobed. "I'm sorry to tell you, but you were sleeping." He allowed the tricorder to take readings of her. "You collapsed on the bridge, and when I examined you, you were asleep. That was a few minutes ago."

Seven found the Doctor's eyes on hers an intrusion. He would see her confusion there, her fear. She averted her eyes.

"Seven." The Doctor said, sympathetically. "I can see how upset you are. Please, as your Doctor and friend, I want to help you. No need to hide anything from me."

She moved to her feet, causing the Doctor to move out of her way. "I am sorry to have taken your time."

"Seven, you'll have to stay here. When you were discovered to be sleeping, the Captain ordered me to observe you for awhile… she's on her way now." He stepped in front of her.

"No!" Seven yelled at him, angry that she was being deterred from her work.

The Doctor raised his eyebrows and was uncompromising. "You are suffering from exhaustion. I'm not quite sure why yet. The computer shows you have been getting your regular regeneration cycles. You've had a higher than normal level of REM sleep, and your brain wave activity as been restless, to say the least. But I have yet to determine why you are exhibiting signs of exhaustion."

Seven paced back to the biobed. She felt it now. She hadn't wanted to admit it. But the Doctor was right. "Doctor, I have not been regenerating well. Since we entered this void. I don't know why." She stared down at her hand implant, and found herself momentarily surprised to see it there instead of a human hand, nails painted with red enamel. She felt perplexed just long enough for the Doctor to pick up on it.

"Seven. This REM state you've been experiencing. Tell me about your dreams. Since we entered this void in space, what have you been dreaming?"

She felt a blush of shame. She felt her heart beat faster for just a moment, and she felt she might cry.

"Doctor. I-"

She stopped, as the doors to sickbay opened and Captain Janeway walked in.

Seven looked down at the ground.

"Doctor." Janeway greeted him, and took his tricorder. She read the display, and handed it back. "Seven. How are you feeling?"

Without looking up, Seven answered. "I am… fine."

Kathryn held her concern in check. She knew it was a deeper concern than she should quite have for her Borg crew member, and she didn't care for the Doctor to know. "Seven," Kathryn said kindly, "Please know that I am here for you, as I am for all my crew."

Seven's big baby blue eyes focused up at Kathryn and she wondered if Kathryn could see the fear and shame there… "Thank you, Captain."

"I am concerned about you. I've ordered the Doctor to run battery of tests, and to report to me. In the meantime, your post on the bridge is being covered, and Harry is dealing with Astrometrics."

Seven looked down at the ground again. Inside she felt childlike and womanly all at the same time. Where would she be without her Captain? She would be dead, not even a Borg now, she somehow knew.

Kathryn's heart almost broke seeing Seven in this condition. Whatever was going on with her might be deeper than any of them knew yet. She thought of her dream and dismissed it from her mind. "Seven, let the Doctor take care of you. I know you don't like to admit this, but sometimes you are only human." Kathryn smiled at her. She touched the Doctor's arm. "Keep me posted."

"Of course."

Kathryn left.

Seven felt suddenly very depressed, as if someone had just set a weight on her chest. "Doctor. There is something I need to tell you… about my dreams."

*

End Part One.