In Dreams

Part 3

Seven and B'Elanna worked tirelessly trying to find the Doctor's program, but after eight hours of searching, there was still no trace of him.

“Damn it,” B'Elanna finally said, hands at her hips, and almost growling at the console in front of her. “He is here somewhere, programs don't just disappear.”

Seven was quiet. She had come across a clue herself, regarding the Doctor's disappearance, but found herself skipping over it, as if it were nothing. There was the smallest whisper in her own mind, a doubt, something telling her to stop, go back.

But the rest of her wouldn't listen.

“I'm getting Tom to help us.” B'Elanna tapped a few more codes into the system.

Seven asked, without taking her eyes from her work, “Do you really think we need him?”

“I certainly do, as much as I hate to admit it. He should have been brought in from the beginning.”

“His holoengineering is superb, but he lacks the discipline required for any extensive holographic matrix design, and therefore he lacks the necessary knowledge to be of any aid to us.”

Seven's curt answer gave B'Elanna pause. “Tom is the best holoengineer we have, Seven. You know that.”

Seven felt angry suddenly, and found herself inputting information that certainly wouldn't help the situation. “When you are with Tom, you are distracted.”

“I am not distracted.” B'Elanna's irritation was clear.

Seven turned to face her. “I will not stand here and watch to you and Tom Paris exchanging lovelorn glances and whispering sweet nothings to each other, while you think I can cannot hear.”

“Whoa, there, Seven.” B'Elanna held her anger in check. “If you have a problem-“

Seven had walked out, and B'Elanna was left with her mouth open, mid sentence, somewhat pissed off, but more bewildered than angry.

This was not the Seven she knew. Seven could be arrogant, strong willed, and immovable, but not petty or jealous.

Jealous? It did sound like jealousy, but why? She had heard about Seven collapsing at her station. She imagined this could be a symptom of whatever was going on with the ex-Borg.

B'Elanna pressed her combadge. “B'Elanna to Captain Janeway.”

Janeway answered back, “Yes, B'Elanna.”

“Can I see you in your ready room?”

“I'm there now. See you soon.”

B'Elanna signed off. She really needed Tom to get working on this project with her, and soon. The ship needed it's Doctor. But first, she had to speak to Janeway about Seven's behavior.

She'd speak to Seven herself, but their relationship was a little too fiery and combative, and she didn't have time for a confrontation right now.

She headed to the Captain's quarters.

*

Seven stepped into her chamber. She didn't know what was happening to her, or why she couldn't bring herself to tell anyone.

She was confused, that was certain. Something was happening, and it hurt her to think of it. It brought memories of being a Borg; her mind was not her own.

Headache. Her head was hurting so bad. She'd have to see the Doctor…. But the Doctor had been distributed throughout the ship's files. She was supposed to delete him entirely. She managed to go against that urge, and hid him in pieces.

Pieces.

She leaned her head back into her console, and as the green energy flux took her, she let herself drift into regeneration.

“Are you torn, my girl?” He asked her and his voice was sweet.

“Yes.” She answered. “I am torn. I am awakened. I am deadened. I am lost.”

“Then come home to me.”

Seven lifted her head and saw the sun setting over the bayou. She watched the burnt colors, and spoke to him. “You awaken things in me I have never let myself feel, or couldn't feel. Has it always been this way?”

His hands wrapped around her tiny waist. “Only with me.”

You lie. She thought, but the words stayed hidden deep enough that he couldn't find them. Deep again, she thought, You enlist me in false things… I loved before you. You killed that love… you have me giving it to you. But it isn't real; I will somehow remember that this was meant for someone else.

His mouth was on her throat, and he took her life force. Like the tubules of Borg assimilation, he was taking her identity. This was not her choice.

His power was that of death. And she couldn't fight him anymore than anyone could fight death, because it would always come, and in the end it always won.

*

Kathryn listened to B'Elanna and agreed; this was not like Seven.

“I’ll talk with her.” Kathryn said, and walked B'Elanna off the bridge into the corridor. “In the meantime, you and Tom work on it. I'm sure we'll have the Doctor back by this time tomorrow. And I'm sure he'll have a story to tell us about where he's been.”

“Yes, Captain.”

*

Kathryn took her usual route to Seven's alcove. She thought about what she'd say to her, and wondered what would have caused her small outburst.

B'Elanna had equated Seven's words to jealousy, which worried Kathryn on a personal level. Had Seven gotten herself attached to Tom Paris? Or perhaps B'Elanna.

She could understand if either was the case, but she hoped so much that neither was. She knew that eventually Seven would develop feelings for someone on board ship, and the chances were, it would not be Kathryn Janeway.

Kathryn paused before Seven's cargo bay door. She wondered if Seven would ever want to be assigned real quarters. It would be easy enough to outfit a regeneration alcove to one of the senior quarters. She would have to bring up the idea to Seven soon.

As she entered the alcove, and approached Seven, Kathryn was dismayed at the look on the regenerating Borg’s face.

Eyes closed, Seven silently cried. Tears slowly made their way down Seven's pale cheeks, and one dripped onto Seven's breast.

She quickly but quietly stepped up to Seven, and saw that she must be dreaming.

No, Kathryn thought, Seven's having a nightmare.

Her first impulse was to wake Seven, but something stopped her. She reached out, her fingertips finding Seven's, and she touched the warm skin of the woman who she had helped to become human again.

Seven's crying had slowed, and her lips moved in silent words. Kathryn could not make them out.

And now that the moment had passed, Kathryn felt like a voyeur. She backed away, her fingertips slowly releasing the slender young fingers they so desperately wanted to tighten around.

She should leave. She should come back later.

Kathryn stood there still, and remembered that the Doctor was supposed to come to her with news about Seven's exhaustion and brief bout of narcolepsy.

She made the decision. Suspend Seven from duty. Find the Doctor.

Kathryn turned away, and saw peace on Seven's face now. She did not want to leave her now, but the best way she knew to help her was to put a team together that would find the Doctor, now. She'd be on that team.

*

End Part Three