Part: Two of Five

Seven let the computer scan the surrounding space; no Hirogen yet.

She kept her eyes on the screen, and was aware of Caela leaning against the console, facing opposite.

“Caela, how did Aonghas know you’ve bonded?”

“He sensed it.” She said, “It’s a basic sense for us, no less natural than smell or sight. We can easily sense a bonded Howl.”

“I see.” Seven couldn’t remember feeling quite so curious as she did now; at least not in the past six months. Who had Caela bonded with? Obviously, there had been no pregnancy. Perhaps that was why she seemed so unhappy. But assuming there could be an interspecies compatibility was optimistic at best. Yet, it seemed the Hirogen female had successfully mated with Aonghas.

This was conjecture, and nothing more. Seven decided to put forth another question.

“I’m concerned about you, Caela.” She glanced at the still quiet Caela. “May I ask what the tests are for?”

“I’m sorry… no.”

Seven put in another command to scan another section of space. “I’ve never known you to be so recondite.”

“Use words I know, please.”

“Apologies. You are being secretive… one could even say mysterious. Why?” Seven turned to her. “We said we would continue our friendship. We could speak with each other about anything before our parting. Why the silence now?”

“It’s been a long time since we spoke on that level, Seven.” Caela looked up at Seven. Blue eyes… those were the eyes she longed to be lost in again. She looked away. “All right, I’ll tell you about the tests. In confidence.”

“You have my word.” Seven said, “As your friend. What are the tests?”

Ignoring the pain that those words ‘your friend’ brought about, Caela answered, “I am experiencing a failure in my empathic abilities.” Caela spoke the half-truth with an unwavering voice.

“I am sorry to hear that. How long?”

“About five months.” She said, “It’s been a steady decline.”

“And your physical health? It’s affected?” Seven asked, “Pardon my saying so, but you don’t look well.”

“Why thank you.” Caela said, “That makes me feel so much better.”

“There is no need for sarcasm.”

“I’m sorry… I am.” Caela said. “I’m frustrated.”

“I would imagine that being without your empathy has been difficult for you.”

“Yes. But I imagine that I am simply experiencing life as others do. No one on this ship has the empathy I do- did. If they knew I’ve lost mine, they might even be more comfortable with me.”

The computer beeped at Seven, and she read the data. “There is a Hirogen ship scanning the near Solar System.” She pressed her combadge. “Seven to Captain Janeway.”

“Yes, Seven?”

“Please report to Astrometrics.”

Caela watched the view screen while Seven finished her scans. “They’re terrible enemies.”

“Yes, formidable.” Seven agreed. “But not undefeatable.”

Caela turned to Seven. “I feel terrible myself, for immediately thinking the Hirogen girl is a danger.”

Seven paused in her scans and met Caela’s statement, “Your experience with the Hirogen gives you a unique view- even beyond that of what we experienced on Voyager.”

Caela had heard of the simulated wars before. “I should know better than to judge anyone of any species before knowing them.” She was thoughtful. “He seemed to be concerned for the crew, you know. I remember the way my people relished the change, yet he does seem to have concern. He wanted to be taken off ship.”

“He may simply fear for his own life.”

“True.” Caela thought about it… something wasn’t sitting right with her. Something was bothering her, on a subtle level. She chided herself. “I’m an awful person, thinking the worst of this Lilak. I can’t shake the feeling that she’s dangerous, though.”

“You’re not awful. Perhaps it is your empathy.” Seven said. “You did say it was in steady decline. Not gone entirely yet? We’ll tell the Captain about your feelings regarding Lilak. She should be informed.” Her Borg eyes could see Caela’s ill health more clearly than most. She would ask the Doctor about the tests herself, later, when the time was right. For now she had other questions on her mind. “Caela, why did we not pursue our friendship?”

The question caught Caela totally off guard. She stammered an answer. “I- I don’t know… you’re very busy.”

“We should make a point to see each other.” She turned back to her console.

The doors opened and Janeway walked in. “Caela? I thought you were going to stay with the Doctor.” She hoped her disappointment at finding her here didn’t come through in her voice or expression.

“I’m going back now.” Caela said, and without looking back, she walked out, “Goodbye, Seven. Captain.”

Janeway watched her leave. “That was abrupt. What were you two talking about?”

“Caela had a feeling about the Hirogen. She feels she’s a danger.”

“One doesn’t need empathy to feel that way about a culture of hunters.” Janeway said, nonchalant. She read Seven’s data. “Lilak’s father, I imagine.”

“Speculation… but possible.”

“Let’s do some deeper scans.” Kathryn said. “I want an eye on that vessel at all times.”

Inside her holodeck, Caela tried to rest. The quiet in her head, coupled by the absence of the woman she loved after being that close to her again was too much.

She wanted to be alone. Let the Doctor find her when he was finished.

Fists clenched, she thought her nails might pierce her skin. But Chakotay would notice the marks. She sat against a tree, and tried to breathe slowly.

Her eyes closed.

Some time passed and the sound of her doors opening brought her to her senses again.

It was Aonghas. Escorted by Tuvok, he stepped inside.

“I apologize for this.” He said, but didn’t sound too concerned. His eyes found his surroundings, and he was in awe. “It’s my world…”

“Caela had a need for this habitat, and we provided it.”

Aonghas nodded. “You did indeed.”

Caela moved quickly to her feet, and hid behind the tree she had been leaning against. She listened.

“We will monitor your cycle. When you are again as you are now, we will release the security locks.” Tuvok turned and left Aonghas to the simulated home world.

Caela peered around the tree at him. He pulled on his hair tie, and shaking his hair out, he lifted his head to the sky, closed his eyes, and let out a howl such as she’d never seen her people do before the change actually took place.

He sniffed the air. “Come out, Caela, I know you’re here.”

She sighed in frustration, and stepped out. “I’d rather be alone right now. So, I’ll leave to your change.”

“This is no way for us to be… we each thought we were the last. And now you’re suspicious of me.” He said nicely, “I’d like to talk. Seeing one of us again is a blessing.”

Caela asked him, “What clan were you with within the tribes?”

“Thunder clan.”

“Your family was clergy? Mine were healers. Rain clan”

“That’s why I know your name!” He said, and slapped his own leg. “Caela, your mother and mine were great friends. We played in childhood.”

“I think I’d remember your name.” She thought about it.

“Not in the condition you’re in.”

She was silent. She looked at his lavender eyes, wanting to read him. Unable to.

“You’ve lost your empathy haven’t you?” He shook his head a little, “Your mother had it. It’s your gift, and it’s gone.”

She remembered the monitoring. “Don’t think there’s privacy here. We’re being monitored.”

He was removing his shirt, “Pardon me, I’d rather not have my clothes torn in the change. But you don’t mind do you? We’re both bonded.”

“I’ll leave you to the change.” She moved to walk out, and remembering the security locks, she stopped. She wondered if she could call Tuvok to let her out.

“Wait.” He said, and stepped in front of her. “Stay, change with me. We’ll run together. Hunt. Howl together.” He smiled.

“No-”

He looked into her eyes, and his smile faded. “I know you’re suffering, Caela.”

“I am fine.” She whispered, her eyes darting to where she knew the cameras were hidden. “I’ll go now.”

He grabbed her arm. “If you want to go, change and defend yourself.”

“Why are you doing this?”

He released her. “Just answering my own questions. He shook his head. “You’ve bonded with someone… you have not remained with him.”

She was angry. “Don’t presume anything.”

“My family were clergy; we know a spirit in distress. You know our people cannot live without their bond mates. The grief is too strong.” He said, and proceeded to remove his boots where he stood. “Don’t you remember those who died of grief when the mates were killed?”

She turned to leave again, and again he was in front of her.

“Aonghas, you’re beginning to piss me off.” She looked up at him.

His face wrinkled. “That sounds ugly. Picking up on the language of your hosts. They have strange words. Yet, so like ours.” The signs of change were in his face. His ears were longer, his teeth were elongating also. His brows were arching higher.

“You’d better get out of those pants.”

“You can’t change right now, can you?” He said, and unlaced his pants. “Why are you not with your mate?”

Caela had heard enough of his questions. She walked toward the trees. She’d find a place to be alone while he was in cycle. When she turned to look back, he was on all fours, and in one moment had become full Howl. He looked at her, and she’d swear there was a smile on his face. He looked very much like she did as Howl; black, with silver fluffs at the tips of his ears. The distinct difference was the adult male marking of a silver streak down the middle of his back. And his eyes matched the sky. He barked at her.

“Have fun.” She said, and moved into the woods.

Chakotay nearly ran in to Caela as she exited the holodeck. “There you are. The Doctor and the Captain are very upset that you didn’t report back to sick bay.”

“I don’t need to be baby-sat.” She said and walked past him.

“Caela stop.” Chakotay took her arm.

“No, you stop.” She yanked her arm away. “Don’t grab me. I’ll return to the Doctor on my own.”

Chakotay could only stand and watch her go. He rubbed his face, turned and walked back toward the holodeck.

The security indicator showed that the deck was occupied. It must be the man Kathryn had told him about.

Chakotay was just about to be off for the next few hours; he decided to go to Kathryn’s ready room and observe this new Howl for a while.

The screen came on, and the Howl was visible, lying in a small clearing, sated on holographic prey.

Chakotay sat back. He hoped that the presence of another Howl would be good for Caela. Maybe it would bring her back to herself.

The male Howl was asleep now. Chakotay scanned back through the recording and found himself watching this Howl bark at Caela just before she disappeared into the woods. He scanned back further, but turned the volume down. He didn’t want to eavesdrop.

He watched this Aonghas as he spoke with Caela. She seemed to be upset, and Chakotay thought she wanted to leave the holodeck… she was locked in. There was anger on her face as she spoke to Aonghas.

He turned off the monitor. Aonghas had somehow upset Caela. He’d see if he could find out how later, just to be sure everything was okay. To be sure Caela was okay. But he was glad to see Caela feeling something.

The Doctor was baffled. “I’m sorry, Caela. The tests aren’t really telling me anything. You do have signs of fatigue, and a slight case of low blood pressure, but why, I cannot determine.”

She nodded. “Thank you for trying.”

Lilak was asleep on the bed in the iso unit.

Caela was curious. “How is she?”

“Good as new, and getting some much needed rest.”

“When will she wake?”

The Doctor wondered why Caela would ask. “You’ve taken an interest in her?”

She shook her head. “Not especially.” She didn’t admit that in her mind she’d already formed the idea that this Lilak may have been there when the last of Caela’s family and friends was killed. She wanted to know something, anything about those last moments.

Sadness dripped a little from her heart. She stood, “Thank you, Doctor.”

“Please come to me if your condition worsens. I will be working on new tests for you. I’m determined to help you, you know.” He smiled. There was a pause, and he asked, “Is there anything more you can tell me? Perhaps something you’ve forgotten?”

She was tempted. But no. “No, Doctor. There’s nothing.”

Kathryn held Seven’s hand and watched the stage with a new sense of awareness. Why hadn’t she seen this before?

Red Riding Hood had encountered the wolf.

Time passed and Red Riding Hood was singing about learning some new things, some of which were exciting but still a little scary.

Seven watched fascinated as the girl sang, I know things now.

‘But he seemed so nice and he showed me things,
Many beautiful things, that I hadn't thought to explore.
They were off my path, so I never had dared.
I had been so careful I never had cared
And he made me feel excited -well, excited and scared.’

Kathryn watched Seven’s eyes. The girl sang some more.

‘And I know things now, many valuable things, that I hadn't known before: Do not put your faith in a cape and a hood
They will not protect you the way that they should
And take extra care with strangers, even flowers have their dangers.
And though scary is exciting, nice is different than good.
Isn't it nice to know a lot! ....and a little bit not...’

That the song said ‘he’ instead of ‘she’ meant nothing. It was a song about losing virginity. That’s basically what the song meant, and Kathryn knew this. But she was astounded at her own blindness to not see why Seven had such a fascination with this play, and with that character. And why Seven didn’t seem to hold that same fascination when it came to the fate of the wolf.

By the time the musical ended, Kathryn had decided she would bring this up at dinner.

Seven didn’t take well to the suggestion that she had a subconscious fascination with Red Riding Hood as a version of herself.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, Seven.” Kathryn tried to think of a way to convey her own consideration regarding the identification with the fairy-tale character. “It makes sense, really.”

“The wolf representing voracious sexuality- you equate him with Caela. The girl in red, representing my burgeoning, innocent sexuality?”

“I never actually said the wolf was Caela, but… yes.”

“In the play, the wolf has a certain degree of power over the girl. Some would even say he manipulates the girl into the sexual experiences with him… which are not even shown on stage, and barely eluded to.” Seven said, “And if I am seeing myself in the girl, then I must see Caela in the wolf. Isn’t that what you’re inferring?”

Kathryn didn’t want to touch the comment about Caela- yet. “The words to the song that Red sings- they speak it as clearly as one can without actually saying it.”

Seven let her fork drop onto the table. “But you agree the wolf has power over her?”

“Yes, I do.”

 

“And you see Caela having power over me?” Seven asked, not happy about the accusation at all.

“No, but she did.”

“I remember the conversation we had, Kathryn.” Seven said, “And you did feel I was confused.”

“I didn’t mean to bring up anything that would cause you to get upset.” Kathryn said, “Let’s drop it.” She smiled at her Seven. “It’s a lovely restaurant, isn’t it?”

Seven was stoic. “Lovely.”

She looked out the window, at the holographic sea below.

Kathryn reached her hand out and brushed Seven’s fingers. “Let’s forget about it.”

“I don’t think I can, Kathryn. I don’t understand why you chose to bring this up.”

Seven wasn’t going to let it go, and Kathryn wished she had left it alone. “It was just the play, Seven. It made me think of it.”

“We’ve watched it together twice before in the past five months. You never spoke of this then.”

“I know. I hadn’t thought of it.” Kathryn rested her chin on her knuckles, folding her fingers beneath. “It’s been your suggestion each time. I can’t help but wonder if it’s a subconscious urge.”

The moment she said it, she saw disappointment in Seven’s eyes. She regretted the words immediately.

“I spend every free moment I have with you.” Seven said, “Until today, I had barely spoken a word to Caela in almost six months.”

“Yes, I know.”

“I’ve neglected a friendship with her because I know it might hurt you.”

“Seven-”

“And now you accuse me of having subconscious urges to be with her? You doubt my love for you.” Seven’s big blue eyes were getting wet. “If I wanted to be with her, I would.”

Kathryn didn’t think before she said the next sentence. This was something that always amazed her about herself; she would say things in relationships that she’d always regret, just because at the time, she needed to get the upper hand. “Caela left you, Seven. Not the other way around.”

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment. Kathryn was about to speak when Seven stood.

“I’m no longer hungry.” She looked down at Kathryn. “If you’ll excuse me.”

“Seven, don’t leave.” Kathryn stood to go after her, but instead watched as Seven left the holodeck.

Kathryn sat back down in her chair.

She’d let Seven cool off, then go apologize later. She shouldn’t have brought this whole subject up, but it was obvious. Seven still thought about Caela.

End Part Two