Part II

Seven sat up stretching the kinks from her back and neck. Not only was sleeping inefficient but painful as well she thought. She was thinner than usual, but as she ran a check, she found that she was functioning normally. The doctor had insisted that she had to either eat more or regenerate more. She had chosen to increase her food intake. She had approached it with trepidation and was surprised to find that the food provided was quite palatable and her stomach's protests were tolerable compared to the violent reactions it had made the other times. She did not think to ask where the food came from. It was irrelevant. It allowed her to function. Though, she thought wryly as her stomach growled, she was looking forward to... she paused as she searched for the word Tom Paris had used, …breakfast. She slid off the bed then froze. Breakfast was forgotten as she looked into blue-gray eyes.

"Doctor," she croaked her voice horse. She swallowed and tried again. "Doctor," she got out a bit louder. "Doctor," she said a third time. This time it came out strong and several octaves higher than normal. Immediately the doctor hurried into the room. Paris was on his heels.

"Good morning. I see our sleeping beauty has awoken," the doctor said calmly, however, if he could, he would have danced a jig. "How are we feeling?" he addressed the captain.

The captain looked at him for a moment, then at Tom, then back to the doctor. "I'm not sure how we are feeling but I feel like shit."

The three crewmembers looked at each other in surprise at the unexpected vehemence of the captain's words.

"Ah well," the doctor interjected, "you went through a nasty incident so its expected that you wouldn't feel your best," he said with uncharacteristic understatement.

"I see." Her gaze passed the three of them again then rested on Seven. "Where am I?"

Seven's eyes widened and she looked quickly at the doctor. The doctor's frown did nothing to reassure her. She looked back at Janeway.

"You are located in sickbay," Seven answered.

Janeway appeared to think about that a moment then nodded her head. "I see."

 

The doctor stepped closer. "Tell me," he said trying to use his best bedside manner voice. "What do you remember?"

Janeway was silent for a minute or two thinking trying to think. It made her head hurt. She brought a hand up to massage her temple. "My name is Kathryn," she said finally "Kathryn Janeway."

"Yes. That's good and what else?" the doctor asked.

Kathryn looked at him a moment then shook her head. "My name, just my name," she turned suddenly to Seven. "Annika. I want to go home."

Seven felt a sudden rush of unease. The captain never called her Annika. Seven tore her eyes from Kathryn's pleading gaze.

"Doctor?"

He shook his head, "I will need to run tests."

"No," Kathryn snapped, "I want to go home. Now Dr. Zimmerman." She grabbed Seven's arm. "Take me home." Kathryn was screaming now. Rage or fear contorting her features. As she slid out of the bed the sheet slipped off her. Tom, with a bewildered expression, looked from the captain to Seven to the doctor. He didn't know if he should help restrain his now naked captain or leave the room. He chose the former as the captain launched herself at Seven. He stopped just short as Seven easily ignored the fists pummeling her chest and pulled Kathryn into her arms.

"It is alright. I will take you home," Seven chanted repeatedly in a soft voice atypical of the borg but lately becoming far too familiar. She slowly rocked the smaller woman back and forth, as they sank to the floor. Kathryn now curled in Seven's lap sobbing.

"Doctor," Seven chanted in the same soft voice, "run your tests then let me take her home."

The doctor nodded and briskly left the room in search of the tools he would need. Tom trotted after the doctor.

"Doc? What's wrong with her?"

The doctor paused, "Memory loss of some kind, but until I can run some tests..." he shook his head.


Seven stood in the captain's quarters with a hand on Janeway's elbow to steady her. Janeway looked around the main room slowly.

"This is where we live?"

Seven hesitated for a moment then answered, "Yes."

Janeway looked at her sharply, "You're lying."

"Borg do not l...." Seven broke off, "you are correct. We do not live here. You live here."

Janeway was silent for a moment. "I see. Why not?"

Seven looked at her captain confused. "I do not understand the question," she finally replied.

Janeway shot her an exasperated look. "Why don't we both live here?" she asked.

Seven shifted uneasily. This conversation was unexpected. "We do not cohabitate."

"I got that much," Janeway said sarcastically. "Why don't we 'cohabitate'?"

Seven sighed, "We do not have an... intimate relationship."

"I see," Janeway said. She looked around the quarters. It all seemed strange. The only thing familiar was Annika. She eyed the tall blonde from under her lashes. She didn't really remember anything about her. She just knew Annika's name and that being with the blonde made her feel safe. She watched as Annika moved agitatedly around the room. She's nervous, Janeway thought suddenly. Her eyes narrowed in thought as she sought the reason for the cool woman's unease. She smiled to herself, then asked, "Why not?"

Seven turned towards the captain. "Why not what?" she asked in confusion.

Janeway smiled and walked over to Seven and placed a hand on her arm. "Why don't we have an intimate relationship?" she asked coyly.

Seven closed her eyes. She could feel a dull throb starting at the back of her head. This was going to be a long night she decided.

"Perhaps we could sit down and discuss this," she suggested indicating the couch in the sitting area. Janeway peered at her closely then nodded. Satisfied that this wasn't a ploy to change the subject, she moved to the couch.

Seven followed Janeway into the sitting area and carefully perched on the edge of the couch. She had not had a chance to speak with the doctor and she was not sure how much she should tell the captain. She searched Janeway's face for a moment then made her decision. It may not be the best decision, but she was going on instinct. She took a deep breath and began to recite all that Voyager had experienced from the time they first entered the delta quadrant.

Seven finished and glanced at Janeway sitting with her chin cupped in her hand. At Janeway's silence, she began to worry that maybe telling the captain about the last six years had been a bad idea. Janeway shifted.

"I see. So I'm the captain huh?"

Seven nodded.

"I see," Janeway repeated. "So why don't we have an intimate relationship?" she asked, setting back, careful to hide her glee at the tall blonde's discomfort. Seven pinched the bridge of her nose. It was a gesture she had observed in her captain quite often, but she had never understood its origin. Now, at the throbbing behind her eyes, she understood too well. She opened her mouth to speak several times but could never quite get the words out. Finally, Janeway took pity on her.

"Never mind. We can talk about it later."

Seven sighed in relief. "It is late," Seven said. "You should rest Captain."

Janeway nodded. "I am a little tired," she admitted. She got up and walked toward the ensuite then paused, half turning to Seven.

"Annika, don't call me Captain unless were on duty."

Seven looked at the captain in surprise then nodded. "Yes cap.... Kathryn."

Janeway smiled in approval then continued into the ensuite. A moment later an incoherent cry came from the room followed by a loud crash. Seven ran across the room to the ensuite. Inside she found Janeway curled in the corner sobbing. The mirror had been shattered. Seven knelt by the smaller woman and pulled her into her lap rocking her slowly.

"Kathryn, what is wrong? Talk to me," Seven said when the sobs finally eased.

"N…no wonder you don't want to cohabitate with me," Janeway choked out. "I look hideous."

Seven looked at Janeway in shock. "What are you talking about?" Seven asked.

Janeway tried to look away but Seven grasped her chin firmly and pulled her around. The muscles in Janeway's neck twitched a couple of times as she clenched her jaw. She raised a hand slowly to her head gesturing the short stubble of hair just beginning to grow back. Seven paused unsure how to proceed. Physical beauty was not relevant, however, she knew it was very important to most species. She raised her hand and carefully caressed the top of Janeway's head.

"It is only hair," she said softly. "The doctor had to shave it to save your life. It will grow back."

Janeway looked at her suspiciously. "How long will it take?" she asked.

Seven thought for a minute. "I believe for it to reach its former length will take 8.2 months." At Janeway's horrified look she hurried on, "However, the doctor can stimulate hair growth and restore it in a matter of days." Seven relaxed as she saw the tension leave Janeway's body. After getting the captain to bed Seven returned to the ensuite and began to pick of the shards of glass. She paused, catching her reflection in the spiderweb cracks. Her image was diffracted and distorted. She touched it gingerly. For once, she looked exactly how she felt inside.


Janeway ran her fingers through her hair. It wasn't as long as she would like it, but it was an improvement on the stubble she’d had when she entered sickbay. She turned to Seven.

"Well now. Since I'm the captain, I guess I'd better get to work," she said. She paused halfway to the door when Seven didn't follow. "Aren't you coming Annika?"

Seven looked at the captain uncertainly. There was no sign of the distraught woman from the night before. "I need to regenerate," she said finally.

Janeway nodded. "Very well. I can find the bridge on my own. The command crew knows I want to meet with this afternoon correct?"

Seven nodded. "Yes. A meeting is scheduled for 1300 hours."

Janeway nodded. "I'll see you after you regenerate then," she said and exited sickbay.

The doctor turned to Seven and began to run the tricorder over her. Seven frowned.

"I am not ill," she stated, despite the extremely pale complexion she had acquired.

"Your electrolyte balance is off Seven," he said ignoring the blonde's frown. "I recommend this supplement," he said programming something into the replicator, "in addition to an extended regeneration cycle."

Seven took the brown beverage from him gingerly. The odor emanating from the glass made her wrinkle her nose." This does not smell palatable," she said uncertainly.

"I assure you Seven I am not trying to poison you," the doctor said with an indignant frown. "Now, drink up."

Seven sighed, "Very well." She took a cautious sip and gagged as the liquid ran down her throat. Seven glared at the doctor as he chuckled. He ignored her look and motioned her to continue drinking. She took a deep breath and quickly downed the rest of the foul liquid.

"So," the doctor began, "how did things go with the captain last night?"

Seven hesitated, "She was disturbed," she said finally.

"Oh, in what way?" the doctor asked.

"I am not sure I can explain accurately," she said. She did not feel comfortable explaining Janeway's questions about their relationship nor did she want to discuss the incident with the mirror.

The doctor considered Seven's words. "I don't think it is safe for her to be alone just yet. Physically she appears to be functioning normally, but there is a minor possibility of a relapse. However, it is her mental state that I am more concerned about," he said.

Seven cocked her head to the side. "Explain," she demanded.

The doctor sighed. "Seven loosing one’s memories can be highly traumatic, especially when there is nothing familiar to you. While the captain may seem to be handling the memory loss at the moment, she must be feeling the emotional side effects."

Seven reflected on the captain's behavior from the night before. She had been so disturbed that she had remained awake in case Kathryn awoke in the middle of the night. She had to admit that perhaps the doctor was correct.

"What do you propose, doctor?" she asked.

"Well," the Doctor continued, "you are the only person she seems to trust, the only person she has a connection to at this time. I think it best if you stay with her until we know exactly how the memory loss is going to affect her."

Seven felt a throbbing begin behind her eyes. The doctor wanted her to stay with the captain. She recalled the conversation from the night before.
 

"Impossible," she declared, "Captain Janeway will not accept my presence," she spoke confidently.

"None the less," the doctor said, "We need to at least try to get her to accept someone. If not you then someone else to stay with her." Seven raised her head at his words. As uncomfortable as she felt with the situation, the idea of someone else staying with the captain troubled her more.

"I will ask her, though I am sure she will say no," she replied.

"Well keep me informed," the doctor said.

Seven nodded and headed to cargo bay two.


Captain Janeway stepped on the bridge. She smiled warmly at her tactical officer.

"Good morning, Ensign Tuvok," she stopped and raised her eyebrows. "I mean Lt. Com. Tuvok. Congratulations on the promotion," she said then continued across the bridge. "Good morning Tommy," she nodded to Ensign Paris. "I'll be in my ready room," she said cheerfully to no one in particular then walked through the door oblivious to the looks of discomfort exchanged among her crew on the bridge.

Janeway looked up from the console at the chime from her panel. She had been studying her logs starting with the most recent ones. She glanced at the chronometer on the screen. It read 1250. It was time for the meeting Janeway realized. A surge of nervousness flooded her for a second but she quickly squashed it down. She was the captain. She knew her job even if she didn't remember most of her crew or how they got here. Quickly she left for the ready room. She was already seated when the command crew began to arrive. Commander Chakotay entered first, his expression hopeful and cautious at the same time. Janeway nodded to him. He smiled a bit relieved to see her looking more like herself, if a little thinner. The command staff filed through the doors silently and took their seats. Janeway sat back in the chair.

"Thank you all for coming," she said breaking the silence. "I know you all probably realize by now that my memory is not what it used to be," she smiled. The soft laughter of her staff letting her know she had released at least some of the tension. "I may not remember all of you," she continued, "or how we got where we are, however, I do remember what it means to be the captain and intend on fulfilling my duties as such." Janeway paused for a moment making eye contact with each person. "I am going to ask you to be patient with me as I get my feet back under me. I know each of you is an outstanding officer," she grinned wryly, "or else I wouldn't have you on my staff. Are there any questions?" When no response came the captain nodded. "Very well. Dismissed."

Commander Chakotay lingered behind. Janeway gave him a quizzical look.

"Its good to have you back captain," he said.

Janeway smiled, "Its good to be back commander," she said warmly.

"If there's anything you need Captain…" he offered.

Janeway nodded, "I'll be sure to let you know commander." She waved at the console in front of her. "For now I'm just catching up on some things," she said wryly.

Chakotay chuckled. "I understand," he said and left the ready room.

Chakotay hurried to the turbo lift to catch up with Tuvok. When the doors slid shut, he turned to the Vulcan.

"So Tuvok," he began, "what do you think?"

Tuvok quirked an eyebrow. "I would assume you are referring to the captain's competence," he said.

Chakotay nodded. "She doesn't seem quite like herself," he said frowning.

Tuvok gave a small nod. "This is true commander, though I believe it would be too soon to make a judgment on her recovery."

The turbo lift doors opened. Chakotay stepped out. "You're probably right Tuvok," he said then headed down the corridor.


"Enter," Janeway called out to the chime on the ready room door. It slid open and Seven of Nine walked in. Janeway looked up from the logs she was reviewing.

"Ah, Annika. I didn't know you had finished regenerating already."

Seven nodded, "I require much less time in the alcove since I have increased my nutritional supplements and have started sleeping."

After several moments of silence, Seven began to feel uneasy under Janeway's stare. "You said you wished to see me when I completed my regeneration Captain?"

Janeway's expression became thunderous. "I told you not to call me Captain."

Seven involuntarily took a step back from the venom in Janeway's voice. "You specifically stated that I was not to use the title 'Captain' when we were not on duty. Since we are both currently on duty I do not see that I was in error," Seven stated coldly with full borg inflection.

Janeway frowned. "I see. Then amend that order. Do not call me 'Captain' when we are not on duty or when we are alone. Is that clear?" she snapped.

Seven nodded her lips pressed tightly closed. She knew she had to make allowances, but she was not willing to tolerate much of this kind of behavior from her captain.

"It is clear. I will call you Kathryn," she said.

Janeway smiled suddenly relaxed. "Good, I'm glad we have that settled. Now..."

"If, "Seven interrupted, "you call me Seven."

Janeway frowned. "Annika is your name," she said.

"No. My designation is Seven of Nine. Annika was assimilated. I am no longer that person."

The two women glared at one another, then Janeway pursed her lips. "Very well, Seven it is," she sighed smiling ruefully, "I guess it is only fair. Now, since you have reduced the amount of time you regenerate, do you plan on continuing a reduced schedule or are you going to return to your regular regeneration regime?" Janeway asked.

Seven looked at her captain warily. The way she had gone from furious to completely calm unnerved the young woman. She took a deep breath. I am borg. I will adapt, she thought to herself. "It would be best at this time if I continue to limit the amount of time I regenerate." She hesitated a moment. "The doctor feels that I should remain nearby in case you need assistance."

Janeway smiled. "Good old Dr. Zimmerman. He is a fusspot isn't he? I understand from my logs that he is really a holographic program. Amazing," Janeway shook her head. "I see no problem with that. Will you be..." she hesitated a moment hiding a mischievous grin before continuing, "cohabiting with me then?" she asked.

Seven visibly started at the captain's question, unsure how to reply.

"It is possible that I could collapse in my quarters and there would be no way you would know about it," Janeway said quickly, enjoying the range of emotions that flowed over Seven's usually impervious face.

"I believe," Seven spoke reluctantly, "that the doctor thinks it best for me to reside in your quarters for the time being."

Janeway bounced from her chair. "I second his opinion. Now, since we are both off duty, let's go home."

She was out the door before Seven had a chance to respond. The beta bridge crew watched as Seven slowly trailed after the captain with a defeated look on her face. After the turbo lift door closed Ensign Rodriguez whistled softly,

"Now that looks like a woman walking to her own hanging."

At Chakotay's stern frown he blushed and looked down at the console. Chakotay glared another moment, making sure everyone took his point on the bridge, then turned back to the front of the ship. Though, he thought to himself, Seven did look a little unenthused.


 

Seven and Janeway walked into the captain's quarters. Janeway immediately pulled her jacket off and dropped in over the arm of the chair. She ran her fingers through her hair causing it to stand up, then walked to the replicator. Janeway glanced at Seven standing in the middle of the sitting area.

"Good grief Anni...Seven, relax."

Seven looked puzzled. "I am relaxed," she replied.

"Well you're making me tense. Sit down or something," Janeway snapped.

"Very well," Seven said and sat poised on the edge of the couch.

Janeway shot Seven an exasperated look. "You know since we are cohabiting you can make yourself at home."

Seven gave Janeway a cold stare. "We are not cohabiting. This is a temporary situation. I will only be here until the doctor feels you are physically recovered."

"I see," Janeway said giving a small snort. "Pity."

At Kathryn's words, Seven raised her eyebrows. "Explain," she demanded.

Kathryn shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. I guess I could just get used to having you close. So what do you want for dinner?"

 

They ate dinner in silence. Seven barely tasted her food. Her mind was racing, trying to analyze the captain's words. She had studied human behavior and it was her understanding that cohabiting was generally reserved between two people who were intimate. The captain - Kathryn, she corrected, had not indicated such an arrangement. There were instances, she knew, where people cohabited for companionship. As she ate, Seven realized that she enjoyed spending time with Kathryn. Perhaps she would consider Kathryn's suggestion. Perhaps cohabitating for companionship would be acceptable. She would wait, she decided until more information was available.

Janeway ate slowly, watching the blonde across the table. It was obvious that she was thinking hard. Janeway could almost see the wheels turning. She smiled to herself. She didn't know what it was that made her want to needle Seven so. She only knew that she enjoyed keeping the reserved woman off guard. She squashed the urge to reach across and touch the young blonde.

It was getting late when Janeway stretched and yawned.

"I think I'm going to turn in," she said walking towards the bedroom. "Coming Seven?" she asked.

"I will sleep on the couch," Seven replied.

Janeway raised her eyebrows. "Suit yourself but a bed is much more comfortable."

Two hours later after tossing and turning, Seven thought that perhaps Kathryn had been correct. The night before she had remained awake, checking on Kathryn often. Trying to sleep on the couch was proving difficult. She considered moving into the bedroom but at the thought of laying so close to Kathryn made her stomach clinch. I am borg. Comfort is irrelevant. I will adapt. She repeated her mantra until, finally, exhaustion claimed her and she fell into a troubled sleep.


Janeway strode onto the bridge and headed straight to her ready room. Seven had left to regenerate before Janeway had gotten up. She had slept on the couch the entire night. Janeway wasn't sure why that frustrated her. Chakotay followed her in.

"Good morning Captain. Bad news I'm afraid. Its time for the monthly personnel reports," he said holding out a PADD.

Janeway nodded. "Just put it on the desk Commander." Then she addressed the replicator.

"Coffee. Black." The cup materialized and Janeway carried it back to her desk. Chakotay chuckled to himself. At least some things haven't changed. Janeway took a sip of the coffee. Chakotay paled as a look of rage contorted the Captain's features. Janeway half turned and flung the cup at the replicator. Coffee washed the walls. She slapped her combadge.

"Janeway to engineering," she snapped.

"Torres here Captain."

"Get someone to my ready room now. I want this replicator fixed."

In engineering, B'Elanna blanched at the captain's tone. She had been on the receiving end of Janeway's disapproval before but even when at her angriest she hadn't sounded like this.

"Well Lieutenant?" Janeway's voice ripped across the com.

"On it Captain." B'Elanna grabbed a tool kit and headed to the bridge at a run.

 

B'Elanna glanced at Chakotay when she entered the bridge. She hesitated but he shook his head and motioned her to the ready room. She took a deep breath then rang the chime.

"Enter." She heard through the door. Her eyes widened as she took in the coffee dripping down the walls and the dent in the replicator panel. Janeway looked up from the desk.

"Perhaps Lieutenant," she said, her voice was ice cold. "It wouldn't be too much to ask that the ship could be kept in working order."

B'Elanna swallowed, "Of course Captain." She hurried to the replicator and pulled the panel off.

 

Seven stepped onto the bridge. The unnatural silence alerted her that something was wrong. She shot Chakotay a questioning look. Chakotay's face was carefully blank, his eyes slid to the side. Seven followed his gaze to the ready room door. Then she heard the sound of raised voices on the other side. She swiftly crossed the deck and entered the room. Seven took in the scene in an instant.

"Consider yourself demoted, Ensign Torres," Captain Janeway yelled. B'Elanna stood frozen, backed against the wall. Captain Janeway was millimeters away. The half Klingon could have easily over powered the smaller woman, but the intensity of Janeway's fury was enough to make her think twice.

Janeway whirled around at the sound of the door. "I don't remember giving you permission to enter," she barked when she saw Seven.

Seven stepped up to the captain, invading her personal space. Her mouth tightened at the look of trepidation on B'Elanna's face.

"Lt. Torres, return to engineering," she ordered evenly looking over Janeway's head.

B'Elanna hesitated but when Janeway didn't countermand Seven's order, she quickly ducked around the captain and literally ran out the door. Seven remained silent watching the captain.

Janeway's chest heaved as fury overtook her. "How dare you," she exploded and launched herself at Seven. Seven easily caught and held the smaller woman's arms. Janeway twisted trying to get away, but she was no match for Seven's borg enhanced strength. Her mouth opened in a half scream, half growl. Seven shifted her grip to Janeway's upper arms.

Janeway's teeth ratted in her head as Seven shook her…hard. As suddenly as it came the rage was gone leaving her feeling cold and hollow. Janeway squeezed her eyes shut. Fear reared up and gripped her in its teeth. This isn't right, she thought. There was no reason for me to loose control like that. She began to tremble and slowly raised fear-clouded eyes to meet Seven's.

"Annika," she choked, "What's wrong with me?" Janeway sank to the floor as her knees gave out. Seven quickly pulled the trembling woman into her arms. She rocked back and forth gently and waited for the sobs to stop. When Kathryn had calmed, Seven sat back and looked into her face.

"Perhaps you should see the doctor," she suggested gently. Kathryn nodded. Seven helped her to her feet. Kathryn went into the small washroom at the back or the ready room. When the door shut, Seven touched her combadge.

"Commander Chakotay. Report to the ready room," she said. The door slid open almost immediately and Chakotay looked around warily.

Seven faced him. "The captain is reporting to sickbay. You have the watch," she declared.

Chakotay opened his mouth to say something then thought better of it. Instead, he just nodded. Janeway stepped out of the washroom. It was obvious to her First officer that she had been crying, but she appeared in control now. She nodded to Chakotay then reached and grabbed Seven's arm. Seven touched her badge.

"Computer site to site transport. Two to beam directly to sickbay."

Chakotay watched as the two women disappeared. The captain was still clinging to Seven's arm as if her life depended on it.

The doctor hurried over when they materialized in sickbay.

"What is the medical emergency?" he asked as he ran the tricorder over Janeway. Janeway hesitated and looked at Seven.

"She is experiencing emotional outbursts," Seven stated calmly.

The doctor nodded. "I will need you to stay here a bit Captain," he said indicating a biobed. Reluctantly Janeway released Seven's arm and climbed onto the bed.

"If you will be alright captain, I have some matters to attend to," Seven said.

Janeway nodded hesitant to see Seven leave.

 


Seven stepped into engineering and looked around. Her collective was not functioning correctly and she needed to correct the problem. She could not ‘fix’ her captain, but she could repair some mistakes. Spotting Lt. Torres, she moved across the room.

"Lt. Torres. I need to speak to you," she said.

Torres looked up from the panel. "Don't you mean Ensign Torres?" she asked sarcastically.

"Privately," Seven emphasized frowning.

Torres looked bewildered but shrugged. "Ok," she motioned to the small office. Once the doors closed Seven turned to B'Elanna.

"You have not been demoted. The captain regrets her earlier outburst," she said immediately.

B'Elanna raised an eyebrow. "That's why you're apologizing and not the captain."

Seven frowned. "The captain is not able to do so at this time. She is in sickbay."

B'Elanna frowned, her anger replaced with worry. "Is she ok?" she asked.

"I do not know," Seven replied slowly. "She is not herself. The doctor is running tests."

B'Elanna gave a wry grin. "I guess everyone has their bad days," she said, generous now that she knew that the attack had a medical basis and not a personal one.

"Yes," replied Seven, "unfortunately today seems to be a very bad day for the captain," she muttered as she left engineering. B'Elanna watched bemused as the blonde woman left engineering. That was as close as she had ever heard the borg sounding self-pitying.


"I don't know how to explain it," Janeway snapped at the doctor. "I just feel raw inside. I don't know why I got so angry with B'Elanna. I was frustrated and she was there. I could feel it and I knew it was out of proportion to the situation but I couldn't stop it. I just erupted," Janeway agitatedly ran her fingers through her hair.

"Perhaps you went back to work to soon," the doctor said. "Maybe you should wait a bit. Give your body time to heal and your mind time to adjust."

At the doctor's words, Janeway felt a chill course through her body. She had woken up and discovered that she was 50,000 light years from home, lost and stranded far from all she loved. She had lost a fiancée, although she couldn't remember being engaged to him. She had lost nearly the entire last ten years of her life. The thought of giving up command, of giving up her ship, even temporarily, filled her with fear. She had lost her past; the future was vague and filled with uncertainty. She'd be damned if she would lose what she held in the present. She squashed the fear down. She couldn't afford to be afraid. Anger reared in its place.

"How dare you," she snarled. She could feel the anger run though her body, warming her, fueling her. "I will not give up my command."

At the captain's anger, the doctor took a step back. "Interesting," he said studying the tricorder readings. "There is a marked increase in the adrenal hormone."

Janeway lashed out and knocked the tricorder from the doctor's hand. "Stop treating me like a science experiment," she screamed.

The doctor looked up, surprise and concern on his face. The captain was not stable he realized suddenly. He hesitated a moment, but the regulations were very clear. He wasn't happy about it but he knew what he had to do.

"Computer. Log record," he commanded. "Captain Kathryn Janeway: under Starfleet medical regulation 121, Section A, I, the chief medical officer, do hereby relieve..." his voice cut off as Janeway intervened.

"Computer deactivate EMH. Prevent reactivation coded Janeway alpha alpha one." As soon as the doctor dematerialized, Janeway went to the computer console. Quickly she accessed the doctors program. She studied it for a moment then nodded to herself as she found what she was looking for. She entered a few commands then walk back to where she had been standing.

"Computer activate EMH. Janeway alpha alpha one," she commanded. The doctor materialized.

"Please state the nature.... Ah Captain. What happened?" he asked looking confused.

"A slight power surge," Janeway said smoothly. "It knocked your program offline for a minute or two. No damage I'm sure."

"Well then," the doctor said cheerfully. "Where were we? Ah yes, emotional outbursts. Well I'm sure there is no real problem. Just the results of the trauma you've been through. Try to take it easy for a few days. I'm sure you'll be back to normal in no time," he said.

Janeway smiled broadly. "Thank you Doctor," she said and headed for the exit.

 

Janeway walked back to the bridge, taking her time to enjoy the ship. She didn't remember it, but if felt familiar. It felt soothing, she thought, stopping to run her fingers along the wall of the corridor. It was almost a lover's caress.


Janeway looked up as Seven entered the quarters. "Hello, Seven," she called.

"Good evening Kathryn," Seven acknowledged. She stepped into the sitting area feeling awkward. She was not accustomed to spending her time in the company of others. This wasn't like when she and the captain played velocity or were having a discussion. She was unsure how to proceed.

"Would you like to eat now?" Kathryn asked.

Seven felt a rush of relief. "That would be acceptable," she said glad to have something to occupy her attention.

Over dinner Seven watched Kathryn and wondered how she should approach what she needed to say. She finally decided that it was best to simply state it and get it over with.

"I informed Lt. Torres that she was not demoted and that you regretted your earlier actions," Seven stated more firmly than she felt.

Kathryn paused with her fork midway to her mouth.

"I see," she said and set her fork back down. "Don't you think perhaps I should have been the one to do that?" she asked evenly.

"You were not available at the time," Seven replied.

"I see," Kathryn said again and resumed eating.

Seven watched nervously as the captain chewed slowly. It was unlikely that Kathryn would let the subject drop.

Kathryn looked up slowly savoring the young borg's discomfort with the silence. She hid a grin as she deliberately ravished the steak in front of her with the knife, cutting it into small pieces.

"And what rank do you hold Seven?" Kathryn asked.

Seven flushed as she realized Kathryn's implication.

"I was not aware a 'rank' was required in order to function on this ship," she replied coldly.

Kathryn glared at Seven. "Rank is required to operate within the chain of command Seven, you should know that by now."

Seven quirked an eyebrow. "And when the chain of command is in the wrong?" she asked archly.

"Then it is up to the chain of command to follow the proper procedures in righting that wrong. What you did can usurp the command authority I need to control this ship. That control is vital to its function," Kathryn explained.

Seven thought for a moment. "Then you wished for Lt. Torres to remain demoted until the chain of command corrected your mistake," Seven stated.

Kathryn nodded. "Yes Seven. It is proper for me to make my own apologies. As captain it is my responsibility to correct errors in the chain of command, even my own.

And have no doubt, it would have been done if a certain sensual blonde had not jumped the gun."

Seven's mind locked up. Sensual?

Kathryn snickered to herself. Bulls eye, she thought, noticing Seven's expression.

Trying to keep a straight face, Kathryn leaned closer. "Now are you going to keep interfering or can I persuade you to come to me and ask me to fix these things?" she asked in a husky voice.

Seven swallowed. "I…that is acceptable," she finally choked out.

Kathryn nodded. "Good. Would you like some more wine?" she asked picking up the bottle and refilling her own glass.

Seven could only shake her head.


Seven looked at the couch distastefully. It had not, she decided, been designed for comfort. She sighed heavily. I am borg. Comfort is irrelevant. She settled her long frame onto the couch and resigned herself to another uncomfortable night. As she lay waiting for the elusive state of sleep to come, her mind replayed Kathryn's words from dinner. The fact that Kathryn thought her sensual had triggered an emotional response in her that she did not understand. Seven sighed as she turned trying to get comfortable. Sensual, Kathryn thought that she was sensual. Seven smiled slightly and closed her eyes.


"Good morning, Captain."

Janeway nodded. "Good morning, Commander," she said waving him to follow her into her ready room. Janeway waved him to a seat as she settled into her own chair. She picked up a PADD and waved it at him.

"I know this is routine commander," she said indicating the personnel reports, "but I'm afraid I haven't quite gotten caught up on everything yet. I have a few questions that I would like to go over if you have a moment."

Chakotay nodded and leaned forward. "I have time now Captain," he said.

Janeway smiled. "Good. Now about the reassignment of Crewman…"

Several hours later they looked up from the reports as the door chimed.

"Enter," Janeway called.

Neelix stepped inside. "Captain. Commander. Is this a bad time? I can come back later," he offered.

"No. Come on in Mr. Neelix," Janeway motioned. "We were just going over some reports. We could use a break."

Neelix nodded cheerfully. "Well Captain, several of the crew have mentioned it, and I thought it was a good idea. Of course I wanted to run it by you first. Just in case you had any objections. Though I didn't really think it would be a problem, although I might need to request a few extra replicator rations…" Neelix rambled.

Janeway held up a hand. "Mr. Neelix. It would help if I knew what you were talking about," she said laughing.

Neelix blushed. "Ah yes. Well Captain, we wanted to have a welcome back party for you tomorrow evening," he said. "But we understand if you aren't feeling up to it yet."

Janeway lifted an eyebrow in question to Chakotay.

He shrugged. "I don't see the harm in it Captain. It would do the crew good to see you up and about."

Janeway nodded. "Alright Mr. Neelix. Go ahead. Try and go easy on the rations though," she said.

Neelix nodded happily. "Yes ma'am. Good day Captain, Commander," he said taking his exit. Janeway sat staring off into the distance for a moment. Then a slow grin appeared on her face. Chakotay shifted nervously. He had seen that look on her face before. It was the look she always got when she was about to do something that might not be approved. She leaned over and typed on her keypad for a moment then tapped the send button. Then she leaned back in her chair with an entirely too smug expression on her face. Chakotay thought briefly of asking her what she was up to, but decided he would find out soon enough. Janeway turned back to Chakotay.

"Now, Commander, where were we?" she asked still smiling.


"I will not comply," Seven stated firmly with only a hint of outrage in her voice.

"Why not?" Kathryn asked brusquely.

Seven watched amused as Kathryn gave the impression of stomping her foot without moving. She eyed the garment the smaller woman held in front of her. It was an exquisitely made dress consisting only of strategic straps and lace. It had been delivered to her in astrometrics earlier that day. Seven blushed as she remembered Ensign Delany’s comment when Seven had pulled it from the box. Wow, Seven. That looks more like it was meant to be taken off, not put on. You’d better not let the captain see you before the party or you guys might never make it out of your quarters. She turned her attention back to Kathryn.

"I do not find it aesthetically pleasing," Seven stated hoping that giving a personal reason for her distaste would convince Kathryn not to push the issue.

"I see," Kathryn said drawing herself up then she turned and stalked into her bedroom.

Seven sighed with relief and began clearing the dishes from the table. She was not looking forward to the party this evening, however, she would try to enjoy herself for Kathryn's sake. Seven looked up as the bedroom door slid open and dropped the plate she was holding. Kathryn stood leaning against the doorway wearing the dress Seven had just proclaimed she did not like. Seven's eyes trailed from the heels Kathryn was wearing up the expanse of exposed leg. She paused for a moment where the dress dipped between Kathryn's breasts then continued up. Her eyes locked with Kathryn's and she swallowed trying to find her voice.

Kathryn watched as Seven's mouth opened and closed several times. Triumph flickered in her eyes briefly.

"Do you still think it is not aesthetically pleasing?" she asked looking at Seven from under her lashes.

Seven felt a warmth suffuse her body and her heart rate seemed to increase exponentially. The pleasure of seeing Kathryn in the dress warred with the desire to see her without it. Seven shook her head trying to change the path her thoughts were taking. She did not understand these feelings, these desires. They unnerved her. She was saved from answering by a chime at the door.

Kathryn walked to the door smiling in amusement when Seven seemed unable to move. Oh you've still got it Katie, she thought to herself. Abruptly her thoughts broke off when the door slid open and she looked down at her visitor. Kathryn stared at the small girl outside her doorway. Apparently I need to catch up on some more logs, she thought in bemusement.

"Naomi Wildman," Seven said from behind Kathryn.

Naomi peered around the captain and found Seven. She gave Kathryn another wide eyed look then quickly ducked around her and charged across the room to Seven. She stopped just in front of Seven and held herself very still. Seven could tell the child was trying very hard to hold back tears. She looked down at the girl.

"Naomi Wildman, what is wrong? Are you damaged?" she asked in a soft tone.

Naomi shook her head then burst into tears. Seven dropped to one knee and Naomi launched herself into the woman's arms. Seven meet Kathryn's eyes over Naomi's head in a clear appeal for help. Kathryn shook her head. She had no experience with children. They were complex alien life forms to her.

Seven spent several minutes trying to calm Naomi down. When the girl finally regained control Seven tried again.

"Naomi Wildman, you must tell me what is wrong," she said.

Naomi hiccupped a couple of times and glanced over her shoulder at the captain. She leaned forward and whispered in Seven's ear.

Kathryn blanched at the hardened look that crossed Seven's face. The look quickly disappeared as Naomi looked up at Seven.

"Your information is incorrect," Seven stated.

Naomi searched Seven's face then she nodded.

"Ok, Seven. I believe you. I know you wouldn't lie to me," Naomi said trustingly.

Seven set the girl on her feet. "You had better go Naomi Wildman, if you are to attend the party this evening," Seven told the child.

Naomi nodded. "You're right. Good bye Seven. Thank you," she said and trotted to the door. At the door she turned in after thought. "Good bye Captain," she said then she was gone.

"What was that about?" Kathryn asked as Seven's frown returned.

"I will take care of it," Seven said coldly.

"Seven," Kathryn started.

"Kathryn," Seven interrupted, "I accept that I must work within the chain of command in regards to the ship's function. Will you accept that in some cases there are things in which the captain should not be involved?"

Kathryn nodded slowly. "Very well," she said. She felt sorry for whatever or whoever was going to feel Seven's wrath. Although, she mused, she wouldn't mind watching.

"So are you ready to go?" Kathryn asked linking her arm through Seven's and leading her to the door. Seven looked at the captain.

"You are not going to wear that," she said indicating the dress.

Kathryn looked up through her lashes. "Why not? Don't you like me in it?" she asked coyly.

Seven stopped. "You are not going to wear that," she repeated firmly.

Kathryn pouted and tugged Seven's arm. Seven stood firmly, refusing to budge.

"Why don't you want me to wear this?" she asked.

Seven looked her up and down and flushed. "I do not wish to spend the evening peeling members of Voyagers crew off of you," she stated dryly.

"Well…" Kathryn drawled. "I know one crewmember I wouldn't want pealed off," she said as her eyes raked down Seven.

Seven crossed her arms and gave Kathryn a hard stare.

Kathryn gave a snort of exasperation then turned back to the bedroom. "You have no sense of adventure," she lamented as the door closed.


The party in the mess hall was in full swing when Seven and the captain arrived. Neelix looked up at their entrance and grabbed up a glass and began tapping it with a spoon.

The crowd immediately quieted as all eyes turned to the guest of honor.

"Captain," Neelix called loudly so everyone could hear. "On behalf of Voyager and all of its crew, welcome back."

"Here, Here," resounded through the mess hall.

Captain Janeway smiled graciously as she began to mingle among the crew. She looked up as Seven discretely touched her arm.

"Captain, if you will excuse me. I see someone I need to speak to," Seven said softly in her ear.

Kathryn nodded and watched as Seven made her way across the room. Kathryn continued to move in the crowd greeting each group as she came to them. She never took her eyes off of Seven. She frowned when Seven disappeared around a corner. She sat her glass down and hurried across the room. She stopped at the corner as she heard Seven's voice.

"Ensign, what you say about me is irrelevant, however, if I ever hear you repeat those remarks about the captain you will live to regret it," Seven said in a dangerously low voice.

Kathryn couldn't hear the reply. She leaned to peek around the corner.

"I am borg," Seven growled.

Kathryn's eyes widened as she saw an ensign backed against the wall with Seven standing over him with her assimilation tubules extended. She covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. The ensign looked as if he were about to wet his pants. She made a note to look him up later since she didn't recognize him. She jumped as a hand clamped down on her shoulder.

"Good evening Captain," Chakotay said.

"Commander," Janeway acknowledged.

"Hello Captain."

Janeway looked down. "Hello Naomi Wildman," Janeway greeted the child warmly.

Chakotay smiled at the captains use of Seven's designation for Naomi.

"How come you're not wearing the dress you had on earlier?" Naomi asked Janeway.

Janeway smiled. "Seven wouldn't let me," she said.

"Oh. Too bad," Naomi said. "It was nice."

Chakotay raised an eyebrow at the captain after Naomi ran to see Neelix.

"Seven wouldn't let you wear a dress?" he asked.

"It was really for her," Janeway explained. "I was simply modeling it for her so she could see what it would look like on."

Chakotay looked thoughtful. "I thought I saw her here earlier in her biosuit," he said. "Did she decide not to wear it?"

Janeway blushed. "I…It…Care to dance commander?" she asked abruptly.

Chakotay laughed. "Lead on Captain," he said letting her off the hook for now, but he definitely was interested in exactly what that dress looked like.

 

Seven stepped around the corner and searched the room for Kathryn. She felt a sharp twinge in her chest when she located the captain and commander on the dance floor.

"Seven, may I have this dance," the doctor said intercepting. Seven sent one last look at the captain then nodded.

"Of course Doctor," she said.

"The captain seems to be doing much better," he said as they stepped onto the dance floor.

"Then I will be able to return to my alcove soon," Seven stated.

The doctor shook his head, "I think it is too soon for that," he stated. "I talked to the captain earlier. She said she felt better if you stayed with her a while longer," he explained.

Seven frowned as the music slowed and Chakotay stepped closer to the captain.

"May I cut in?" Harry Kim asked tapping the doctor lightly on the shoulder.

The doctor smiled and stepped back. "By all means Mr. Kim," he said.

Seven stepped into Harry's embrace.

"You look lovely this evening, Seven," Harry said.

Seven raised an eyebrow. She was wearing a biosuit as she did everyday. Then she noted that Ensign Kim was in uniform.

"Your attire is complimentary this evening as well," Seven replied seriously.

Harry gave Seven a startled look then noticed the corner of her lips twitch. He laughed.

"You are getting quite good with your jokes Seven," he said smiling.

"Thank you Ensign Kim," Seven replied as her mouth quirked upward.

Kathryn looked across the room and frowned as Harry Kim pulled Seven into his arms on the dance floor. Her frown deepened and she stumbled a little as Seven practically beamed at Harry.

"Captain are you all right?" Chakotay asked wrinkling his brow in concern.

Kathryn put a hand to her brow. "I'm feeling a little tired," she said in a weak voice.

Chakotay immediately pulled her to the side. "Let me get Seven to take you home," he said and hurried across the dance floor.

Kathryn smiled as she watched Chakotay approach the couple and a few minutes later return with Seven in tow. She quickly wiped the smile off her face as they approached.

"Captain, you are not feeling well," Seven stated with concern.

Kathryn waved a hand. "I'm just a little tired Seven. I'm not used to all the excitement I guess. I'll be all right by myself. You stay here and enjoy yourself," she said and swayed slightly.

Seven quickly caught Kathryn's arm. "I will take you home," she stated firmly.

"Very well, Seven. If you insist," Kathryn said meekly.

Chakotay frowned as he watched the exchange. He was pretty sure that that was a flicker of triumph in the captain's eye when Seven insisted that they leave. He shook his head as the two women exited the mess hall. Seven didn't stand a chance he thought mildly amused.

Kathryn feigned a yawn as they entered the quarters. "I am going to bed," she announced. She glanced at Seven. "Are you planning on sleeping on the couch again tonight?" she asked.

"Yes," Seven replied.

"I see. Well if you ever change you mind, let me know," Kathryn said and disappeared into the bedroom.

Seven stretched out on the couch. She was glad that the day was over. It had been both long and trying. Shortly the former borg was sound asleep.