A Voyager tale by katharsis (no relation to Seven of) nine
The time is now 1800 hours...
Computer.
Brooo bop-bop.
Play Habanera from Bizet’s Carmen, Instrumental.
Brooo bop broo.
Party at Harry’s place!
Just kidding.
Actually, Tom, B’Elanna, Harry, and Neelix were
congregating at the Chief Engineer’s quarters. Their purpose was to check out
those Holodeck files that were recorded during the Hirogen occupation. For
nearly two months, Voyager was under siege by the nomadic hunting party,
who used the Holodeck to hunt down and dispatch several members of the crew,
carting them off to Sick Bay to be treated, then sent out to fight again. The
scenarios selected consisted of wars of Earth and other Alpha quadrant worlds,
including the Crusades, the siege at Khitomer, Viet Nam, and World War II.
Harry was spared from the carnage, only to be dispatched to maintain and expand
the Holo-grid onto twelve decks. When he finally gathered and looked at the
files in which most of the crew, including Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay,
Lt. Commander Tuvok, Lt. Paris, Lt. Torres, Seven of Nine and Neelix were woven
into the scenarios by means of a neural device interfaced with the Holodeck, he
was shocked, to say the least. When it was all over, he dropped off those files
to the Captain at her Ready Room. Ten minutes later, he was called back and was
ordered to do with them as he would. It seemed nobody really wanted to see
themselves in scenarios in which they were killed and/or maimed. Thankfully,
those neural devices that made them believe they were part of the stories also
wiped their memories. Captain Janeway had woken up pointing a pistol at Seven of
Nine’s head.
If you were in her place, would you have a look?
I didn’t think so.
So, Harry was left with a whole bunch of files
taking up space in the database. When the five of them had been discussing the
infamous little …ah…conversation at the Captain’s quarters and it turned out not
to be “Sex! They’re having sex!”, Harry had put onto the table “a fucking
bombshell.” Hearing that, B’Elanna had immediately announced that they would
watch those files at her quarters. Commander Chakotay had ordered Harry to pull
up those files in question and set up a playback. And Tom Paris’ eyes had bulged
with disbelief and a trickle of drool had made its way down his mouth, but not
before gallantly offering to haul up his television set. “Ya know, for the whole
experience, and it’s bigger than a console, ya know?”
Hell, if the Captain didn’t want to look at them,
why couldn’t they?
And that was where we last left them. Now, Neelix
Meanwhile, Tom was trying his damnedest to
sweet-talk Harry into starting the show early…
“Please, Harry?”
“No, Tom. We wait for Commander Chakotay.” He
tried to move around the bulky television set, but it was kinda hard with Tom
moving around to get in his way.
“Oh, come on. Just a quick peek. Here. Let me help
you with that…”
“What? Maybe I wanna make sure this works right.”
“It’s a simple playback, Tom. Besides, I’m done
now.”
“Well…okay. Chakotay had better wrap up his
meeting with the Captain pretty damned quick, or we’ll just have to start
without him…”
“God, Harry. You have no idea.”
ÃÃÃ
For once, the Talaxian connoisseur was on to
something and B’Elanna found herself eyeing that bottled stuff…
“…and I call it…‘The Blood of Kahless’. What do
you think?”
“Well…it’s something. What’s in it, Neelix?”
“Well, it has a zucchini juice base with a touch
of Risan Sunrise, a dab of Romulan ale…”
“None of that Talaxian stuff?”
“Just amber spice.”
“Oh shit! Did you check that stuff for
those fucking photonic fleas this time?”
“Why, of course. Seven was very helpful.”
“Ask a stupid question…”
“She said it tasted…’unique’, whatever that means…”
“Waitaminute! You actually talked her into
tasting this stuff? Well, what…?”
Brooot
. Chakotay to B’Elanna.
“Go ahead.”
I’m finally out of there, but I have the conn for the moment until Tuvok comes back. The Captain’s pacing the Ready Room like some caged animal as we speak.
“Yes, sir. Of course. Harry, Tom and Neelix are
here and everything’s set up. Just waiting on you.”
All right. Tom, I don’t want to hear about any betting pools, do I make myself clear?
“Aye, sir.”
Good. See you soon. Chakotay out.
It was silent for a moment.
Black eyes locked onto blue ones.
A spotted hand raked through a golden Mohawk.
Tawny, slender hands folded carefully.
Harry spoke first, his voice bright. “So, Neelix…wanna
tell us what’s in that bottle of yours?”
“It is ‘The Blood of Kahless’.” Neelix grinned
proudly. “I may have outdone myself this time.”
“How so?” cut in Tom, folding his arms. “The last
concoction you came up with gave everyone the runs.”
“Oh, pish posh.” A golden spotted hand waved.
“Trust me. No one is going to get sick on this stuff. Drunk? Yes!” His voice
slid into a conspiratorial tone “…and a little something…extra.”
“Let me guess,” B’Elanna deadpanned. “It’s also an
aphrodisiac?”
“Well…”
“NEELIX!”
“Well, I thought…that maybe since Seven sort of has a hot date with
the Captain tonight, she could…”
B’Elanna popped out of her chair and pushed shoved
her face in front of a rapidly flustering Talaxian. “Neelix,” she began. “What
the FUCK were you thinking? You do realize what happens when Seven gets drunk,
do you? Romulan ale, for fuck’s sake!”
“It was…it was just a taste, that was all. A
teensy little swallow is all. See?” He chuckled falteringly and made a pinching
gesture. “It’s not even going to make her babble. Just a teeny buzz. Heh.”
The rest of them tensed, dreading the possibility
of a drunk and horny Seven of Nine jumping the captain’s bones…
ÃÃÃ
The Borg Bombshell in question was a little busy
watching Captain Janeway rub her left eyebrow and pace from one end of
the Ready Room to the other. Seven stood still with her hands clasped behind her
back, but her Borg-enhanced vision kept that scurrying little redhead in the
crosshairs. The little taste she had had of Neelix’s latest creation was
affecting her more than she let on. She felt this…need to scoop the
captain in her arms and lavish her with kisses. And she would have were it not
for the fact that Tuvok was standing by the desk, staying out of the way, his
dark face as impassive as ever.
This chaperone thing was getting to be a habit.
In the meantime, it was the coffee talking, now…
“My God. No one from Engineering will look me in
the eye. Not B’Elanna, not Hogan, and…oh GOD! Le Beau’s part Betazoid on top of
that.”
“You failed to mention Ensign Vorick, Captain.”
For some reason, Seven found this terribly amusing, but didn’t let on.
“Psionic implications aside,” Tuvok began, but not
before shooting a warning look at Seven, “This incident is nothing more than the
result of a…what was the phrase you used, Captain?”
Janeway quit her pacing and plopped into the couch.
She craned her neck to stare out the window for a moment. “A Freudian slip,” she
groaned then turned to face the two officers. “I have a headache. Tuvok, make
sure all this chatter is clamped down. I don’t want this to be broadcast on
tomorrow morning’s Briefing with Neelix.”
“Understood, Captain. However, please be advised
that the damage has already been done. I may be forced to…improvise.”
“Whatever it takes.” Janeway waved a weary hand
before placing it back on her forehead as if to will it not to throb like some
goddamn asteroid drill. “Seven, I will see you later. Dismissed.”
Nodding simultaneously, Tuvok and Seven exited the
Ready Room, leaving a very haggard Captain holding her head in her hands.
ÃÃÃ
Chakotay stared pensively at the viewscreen in front of him, watching the stars flicker by as Voyager slid easily in orbit around an uninhabited planet. The spatial anomalies detected the day before were within three light-years from their present position. At first glance, the phenomena appeared to be some type of black hole. Further investigation revealed them to be much more. For starters, this region of space was unoccupied by any people. The anomaly was encased in a spherical subspace layer, nicknamed “The Gap”, measuring a light year in circumference, which had the ability to disrupt mechanical functions. It was invisible enough not to be detected by long-range sensors, yet tangible enough to wreak havoc on any ship that happened on it. The solar system itself consisted of a giant red star and seven planets, all devoid of life. Voyager was currently orbiting the sixth planet from the red sun, a dead, gaseous thing, yet rich in minerals that could power the ship and possibly provide some sort of defense against “The Gap”. Excavation procedures were scheduled for the next day.
Chakotay had a tickling feeling that this
situation seemed a little too convenient, and had said so. When she then
presented him with a detailed plan to carry out the Away Mission, the argument
was over. He’d nodded silently while she’d drunk cup after steaming cup of black
coffee.
Then there was the matter of the mysterious file
that had appeared in the database after the “Gap incident.” Translated from the
original El-Aurian, it appeared to contain information regarding the encased
anomaly.
The husky commander pushed those troublesome
thoughts aside when he looked up to see Seven and Tuvok exit the Ready Room.
Tuvok strode over to the command chair as Chakotay rose. The two men nodded and
exchanged places. The Security Chief settled into the big chair, projecting an
aura of calm. Chakotay followed Seven of Nine into the turbolift.
When the doors shut, he asked: “Is she still
pacing?”
“No,” came the cool reply. “She was seated by the
time Tuvok and I left.” She paused to peer at him. “You are...concerned about
the Captain.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yes. And you?”
“Captain Janeway has been exhibiting signs of
extreme stress for 2.4 hours.”
He groaned inwardly, wondering whether the
constant pressure on his Captain was finally taking its toll. The Captain had
been increasingly taking some risks lately, mostly on the behalf of the young
woman beside him. Janeway continued to refuse to discuss that sensitive subject.
Was Seven aware of all this turmoil? She must be, but had yet to say anything.
Maybe he was reaching after all...
“Commander.”
“Yes, Seven?”
“The turbolift has passed your usual stop.”
“I know.”
“What is your destination, then?”
“To talk to B’Elanna.” Where was she going with
this?
“So you can watch her copulate with Ensign Paris?”
The statement caught him off guard. He was about
to say something when he saw she was grinning broadly. Great. Now she’s on to
dirty jokes. “Nice to see you’re working on that sense of humor, Seven.”
The grin faltered a bit. “You did not find
it...amusing?”
Oh God, is she gonna start bawling, now?
Thankfully, the turbolift opened to his stop. “It was hilarious, Seven. Really.
See you later?” He offered up his biggest smile and as soon as the door closed,
he dashed over to B’Elanna’s quarters and pressed the chime.
ÃÃÃ
Broo-bop!
“Finally,” Harry grumbled as he sat against the
wall next to Neelix. Since Tom and B’Elanna were in the lavatory
doing...something, he called, “Come on in.”
The doors swooshed open and Chakotay walked in.
“Shall we start the show, then?”
Harry slid up along with Neelix. “Yes, sir. TOM!
B’ELANNA! Showtime!” The couple tumbled out of the bathroom, faces flushed and
clothing rumpled.
The five of them gathered around the television
set with the too bottles in hand.
“Okay, everybody.” Harry announced. “Brace
yourselves.” He clicked the remote. “The first file we have here is that of Viet
Nam...”
The picture flickered to
life, revealing a lush Southeast Asian jungle. Pawing through the foliage were
two Voyager
crewmen.
“Of course, the Hirogen took
on the roles of the Viet Cong just so they can use...”
“Ex-CUSE me? Harry?” B’Elanna cut in. “Why
are we watching this? You said that these files have got footage of the Captain
and Seven screwing their frigging brains out. How about cutting the bullshit and
getting on with the action, huh?”
“Okay, okay. Right after...”
“This-”
The scene shifted to a smoky bar where several soldiers were drinking and laughing. All of the faces were familiar. It wasn’t very long before-
“Hey!” yelped Tom. “There’s the Captain!”
“Oh my God.” Chakotay breathed as he took a swig
from the bloodwine. Or was it the Blood of Kahless?
“Look at those arms.” Neelix marveled. “I had no
idea…”
“Oh, yeah. This is what I’m talking about.
Lean body, farm-raised, corn-fed. Oh yeah, baby, Butch Factor 10, for sure, for
real.” B’Elanna piped in as she snatched Neelix’s latest creation from Chakotay.
And when everyone else stopped to look at her, she faltered. “Uh…well, of course.
I mean…um…shutting up, now.”
On screen, a spotlight appeared on a stage, and a moment later, a very svelte and barely dressed Seven of Nine strode onstage and began to dance around a pole on the stage to the tune of Steppenwolf’s “Born to be Wild”.
B’Elanna promptly spewed out purple liquid and
began to choke. Tom patted her absently on the back but never took his eyes off
the screen. Much to the half-Klingon’s annoyance, Tom was getting into this a
little too much. “Pole dance! Pole dance!” he whooped.
The usually cool and reserved Borg spun around and gyrated her hips wildly against the pole, drawing leering looks from the Captain and everyone else. Then the stunning blonde swept off the stage and headed straight for G.I. Janeway.
“Dare I say it?” Tom gasped. “God…God…yes! LAP
DANCE!”
“What’s a lap dance?” Neelix asked. Then he found
out. “Oh my.”
The men were absolutely mesmerized watching Seven
hump Janeway’s leg with frenzied abandon.
B’Elanna was less than impressed, though. “Harry.”
She hissed. “This isn’t sex. It’s dry humping. It doesn’t count. Don’t tell me
you got us all here just to-oh my GOD, she’s eating her out!”
And indeed, the good Captain had hauled Seven up onto the bar and had her auburn head buried between lanky alabaster legs.
“What the-”
“-Fek’lhr…”
Simultaneously, five heads leaned forward, and
then tilted slowly to the right. “Oh…my…God…” groaned Tom. “People, we are GO
for sex! Repeat: we are GO for sex!”
“I told you,” Harry gloated.
“So I was right all this time,” Chakotay muttered
under his breath. “Too bad Kathryn doesn’t remember any of this, otherwise she
wouldn’t be climbing the walls over tonight.”
“Oh yeah,” quipped Harry. “That. Anybody
want a close-up?”
“Does a targ shit in the mountains?”
ÃÃÃ
Captain Janeway strode into the
mess hall, her head still pounding. “Coffee, black.” She barked automatically
and instantly a steaming cup of the stuff was placed in her hand. She took a
long draught, relishing the instant kick and sighed. “God. Thank you, Le Beau.”
Whoa! HELL-o!
She swiveled to find the ensign behind the galley dressed in Neelix’s apron and
chef hat. “Ensign, what the HELL are you doing back there?”
To her credit, Le Beau pulled off the
innocent look beautifully. “Well, Captain, uh, Neelix asked me to cover for him
for a minute, um, something about a personal something or…”
Janeway sighed and slumped against the
counter. Got off early so he can work on that broadcast. Is there ANYbody who
DOESN’T know? She leveled a glare at Le Beau. “You just happened to be there
listening, weren’t you?”
One of the advantages of having a Betazoid grandmother was the ability to sense other’s emotions. Another was being able to keep up a front no matter what. Le Beau shrugged. “Well, Captain, I heard something, but seeing that I was working on the gel-pacs at the time I really wasn’t paying attention and every-”
“Never mind,” Janeway cut her off. “As
you were, ensign.” She plunked down her empty coffee cup and stomped out of the
mess hall.
Le Beau watched her leave. Then she
tapped her combadge. “Le Beau to Neelix.”
Go ahead.
“If I were you, I’d get back here,
ASAP. Captain’s on the warpath.”
Understood. Neelix Out.
Three seconds later, there was the
high-pitched hum of the transporter as Neelix materialized next to Le Beau.
“Any action?” she asked as she handed
back his apron and hat.
“Hoo boy.” The Talaxian chirped.
“Upside down, underwater, everywhere.”
ÃÃÃ
Meanwhile, back at B’Elanna’s quarters, operation
Cover Your Ass was commencing. After nodding to everybody, Chakotay bolted out
of there faster than you could say, “Evasive maneuvers.” Harry had hurriedly
gathered up all those nasty files (in which Janeway and Seven were indeed
screwing their brains out), and also went out the door. Once he was out in the
corridor, however, Tom had caught up with him.
“Make it quick, Tom. We got a big day
ahead of us, and I gotta get some sleep before the gamma shift.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Wasn’t there a
Klingon setting, too?”
“Yes, Tom. But I don’t think you want
to watch that.”
“Oh, come on! I’m all curious, now.
Surely the Captain was giving it to Seven but good there.”
“No.”
“No?” The tow-headed pilot placed
himself in front of Harry, blocking his path. “Harry. It’s me. You can’t tell me
no, can you? Puh-leeeeeeze?”
After staring at his best friend for a
while, Harry relented. “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He handed over
some chips. “Here’s that, and another look at the World War II scenario, along
with the Alexander the Great files.”
Tom began to drool again. “Ancient
Greece? Hareeee…you’ve been holding out on us, huh? I love you, man!” And
planted a big wet one on the Ops Officer’s cheek before skipping back to his
girlfriend’s place.
Harry looked after him, shaking his
head. Then he started humming Smith’s tunes.
ÃÃÃ
“You did WHAT?!?”
Seven didn’t expect this kind of
reaction from the Doctor. In fact, she thought that he would be proud of her. A
look of apprehension crossed her face. “I…do not understand.”
The EMH rolled his eyes. “She doesn’t
understand, she says. Seven,” he said more gently. “I understand that you
possess a great many skills, but what you did was not only inappropriate but
reckless! Are you aware that you could have severely injured the Captain?”
“I would never intentionally harm the
Captain,” Seven protested. “I knew what I was doing.”
“Oh, I’m sure you did. If you ask me,
I’d say you knew a little too well. Why else would the Captain be
parading around the ship with a goofy grin on her face?”
“Then you have heard the rumors as
well.”
“What rumors?” Why was he always the
last to know these things?
“The Engineering crew believes that
the Captain and I were engaging in the act of copulation.”
Okay, something didn’t sound right.
The Doctor furrowed his brow as he processed the thought. “And why would
Engineering and nobody else think that?”
“Apparently, as a result of an open
com-link, our…session was overhead in Main Engineering.” And she proceeded to
recite this morning’s event in the Captain’s Quarters, word for word.
The Doctor blinked. He didn’t know
whether to laugh or scream. He definitely was always the last to know these
things. “Perhaps we should change the name of this ship to the Voyeur,”
he muttered. “But, back to where we were before, I could easily put you on
report for unauthorized use of…”
“You will not.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You have no basis for any report. The
techniques I administered to the Captain are not limited to the medical field.”
She had him there. “Touché. All right.
You’re off the hook as it were. Just be careful, next time, please?”
Her left metallic eyebrow lifted. “You
expect anything less?”
“Ask a stupid question…” The next time
he saw Lieutenant Torres, he was going to ask a few questions… “Now, in regards
to your meeting with the captain tonight, I’d like to suggest a few things…”
ÃÃÃ
Speaking of Lieutenant Torres, she was
a little busy lounging on the couch, rip-roaringly drunk. Tom had insisted on
setting up the playback again and had absolutely refused any help for at least
fifteen minutes, now. “Tom,” she called. “Come here.”
“Just a minute, hon. I just gotta get
this thing together-SHIT! How the hell did Harry do this?”
“If you’d just let me help-”
“I said I could do it.”
“Fine.” Grunting ass. He’ll fold in
four…three…two…one…
“B’Elanna?”
“Yes, hon?”
“Please help me.”
“Sure.” She slid off the couch and set
up the playback in record time. “Here you go.”
“That was it?”
“Uh-huh. No sit back, relax, and enjoy
the show. What is this, anyway?”
“The Klingon scenario.”
“Oh-kaaay. Come here.” And yanked Tom
towards her. Instantly they started cuddling and kissing. “Mmmm. Oooh, baby, is
that a phaser in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
“Hmmm. Um, yeah. Hey! The show’s
starting! And yes, sir, there’s our good captain. I had no idea she was that
handy with a bat’leth.”
They leaned forward, absorbed in this
latest show…and after five minutes of bloodthirsty action, they observed their
Captain getting cozy with someone…
“Hey.” Tom sat up. “Isn’t she a little
short to be Seven?”
B’Elanna craned forward. “I’ll be
damned. Onto another crewman.”
“You know…she looks awfully familiar.
That looks like…it’s got to be…” He stopped short, his blood running cold. “No.
Ohhhh, no. It can’t be. Oh God, I’m gonna be sick.”
“Fek’lhr and fuckery! That’s me!” She
was amazed at exactly how well her body melded with the captain’s “Damn. I had
no idea she was double-jointed. Hey Tom look at this. Tom? Tom?”
Sounds of retching from the bathroom
were her only answer.
Well, Harry did warn you. Fuckhead.
ÃÃÃ
At 1958 hours, Captain Janeway paced
around her quarters. She had divested herself of her tunic and had on her grey
undershirt once more. How the hell did I get myself into this?
Broo-bop!
Well, she’s punctual; I’ll give her
that. “Come in.”
The doors swooshed open, and in walked
Seven of Nine, dressed in her usual blue cat suit and looking sexy as hell. “Um.
Hello, Seven.” That didn’t sound too stupid, did it?
“Captain.” The tall blonde strode in
as if she owned the place.
Why was she feeling nervous all of a
sudden? She’d had Seven over before. Stop it, Katie. Take a deep breath.
“May I offer you something?” Good. That sounded good.
“I do not require any refreshment at this time.
But…thank you. I am ready when you are.”
This was it. “Okay. Why don’t you er…have a seat?
Um, we need to talk.”
“As you wish.” Seven sat down gracefully on the
edge of the couch, hands folded, at perfect attention.
Alarm bells went off in Janeway’s head. She
swallowed hard, then stood straight and faced the ex-Drone sitting before her.
“Seven as you may already know, I accidentally left a com-link open and
uh…um…er…ah…”
“Main Engineering was privy to our…‘conversation’.
I know. Does this mean you wish to cancel our appointment?”
“No! Absolutely not…wait a minute. What makes you
think I would let that…?” Words began to fail her miserably.
“If you are worried about your crew’s perception
of you, then you have nothing to worry about. They believe that you…‘need to get
laid’ as it were.”
Janeway couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
Could it be possible that the crew didn’t give a good Goddamn about whether she…oh
no. Can’t go there. Absolutely not. “Seven…are we talking about the same thing?”
A metallic eyebrow rose. “I was referring to the
speculation that arose when Main Engineering over heard our…”
“Okay, okay.” Janeway pinched the bridge of her
nose briefly before continuing. “What I want to know is, does all this talk
bother you? I mean, this rumor’s been flying around and…” she faltered, not
wanting to go where this was leading.
“Rumors are irrelevant.” Came the short reply.
“Now…do you wish to reciprocate, or not?”
Janeway slumped her shoulders in defeat. There was
no going around this. She had buried her feelings for too long. “All right. Lay
on your stomach.”
With one smooth motion, Seven did exactly that and
lay perfectly still. Janeway was struck by the unconditional trust that this
young woman placed in her. She gazed at the finely sculpted body as she
approached slowly. God. I’m actually going to do this. After one more lingering
look, she lifted her leg and straddled the Borg’s hips, marveling at how
impossibly firm those muscles were. She reached out and placed her hands on
tight neck shoulders and began to knead.
Immediately a soft cry escaped the Borg’s lips.
The feel of the captain’s hands on her neck surprised her. Her enhanced senses
instantly knew the dimensions of this woman’s hands. This woman, who had
snatched her away form the Borg Collective and gave her a new home. This…this
was perfection. The hands had reached her trapezium muscles, thumbs rubbing
against shoulder blades, caressing, kneading.
“You like this don’t you, Seven?” Janeway’s voice
was low and throaty.
“Yessss.” Came the reply.
“Just thought you’d like to know, this is exactly
what I was feeling this morning when you did this to me. Would you like to
remove your ah…component? There’s too much friction.”
Seven abruptly propped herself onto her shoulders,
nearly sending the captain flying. Actually, Janeway had scrambled off and
scooted to one end of the couch to let Seven undress. One touch at a hidden
clasp later, Seven had removed her bio-suit and tossed it aside.
Janeway nearly choked at the sight of the naked
body before her. God. What a body. Okay, Katie, behave yourself. That’s an
order. “Okay.” She said when she got her voice back and crawled back onto
the descending body. Her fingers tingled at the touch of the smooth skin. Noting
the metal bands criss-crossing the form, she touched a metal band. A sharp hiss
let her know what she suspected. I thought I told you to behave. Her
hands wandered down to the waist, drawing more gasps and moans. God, I really
hope no one’s listening this time. Should I? Oh no, I can’t. Hell yes, I can!
Make up your friggin’ mind.
“Captain…”
“Kathryn, call me Kathryn.”
“Kathryn…may I turn over?”
This was it. Her head was screaming No. No.
HELL no! The rest of her body was drowning out the protests.
The decision was simple really. If nobody gave a
damn, then why should she? “Okay…”
To be continued at…