Kathryn stared at the young woman, wide-eyed. She had never considered this to be possible. Seven couldn't feel this way, surely? No, of course not. She 's too young, to inexperienced. besides which, this was against protocol. Even if Seven did love her, it would be a violation of orders. She was, after all, still the Captain of this ship, and must behave accordingly. No matter how wrong it felt.

"Seven, I." she began, "I never thought... I, uh... need to think about all this."

"I do not see how this situation requires thought, Captain." Seven replied, "I love you. You claim to love me. The next step should surely be... a relationship."

(I have given her too much to process. She is... startled.)

"Seven, I'm your Captain. That in itself means that we can't be in a relationship in that way. But there are other reasons why this can't happen."

"Are you in love with me?"

Her eyes flew to Seven's, holding her gaze involuntarily. She searched her mind for an answer, finding only the one that she least wanted to give. Tearing her eyes away, she glared sternly at the base of the holographic alcove at her right hand side. Swallowing hard, she realised that her mouth was completely devoid of moisture, although she wished that she could say the same for her eyes. Blinking hard, she managed to regain a sort of half-composure. It would have to do.

"You know I am," she said quietly, "but it's not that simple. Seven. you don't... you can't feel the same way. You don't know how to love."

Seven stiffened, her eyes widening momentarily. She felt an unfamiliar heaviness settle into her body, overtaking her limbs. An unpleasant sinking feeling pushed it's way into her abdomen. Kathryn still didn't. or couldn't, look directly at her.

(I was unaware that words could inflict physical discomfort in this manner. I do not understand her reasoning. this behaviour is illogical. Is it possible that she has... deceived me?)

"I'm sorry, Seven... it's just impossible."

"Insufficient!" she yelled, fists clenching tightly, " Just two hours ago, you told me that I was ready to move on to more complex emotions. You asked for me to love you, and I have complied! Your behaviour is unacceptable!"

"Seven, I... can't do this right now," Kathryn muttered, "I have to go."

She stood up sharply, making towards the doors. Walking fast, and straight, she clenched her teeth together, willing her body to do as she instructed. As the doors opened, letting out a small gasp of air, she faltered slightly. Seven stood watching, hoping she might turn around. Instead she ran a hand through her hair, and passed quickly through.

"Captain!" Seven called, to no avail. The doors closed.

Seven stood still, her hands still clenched into fists at her sides. Her nostrils flared slightly, and her eyes stared widely at the closed doors. Her face wore an expression of perplexion, one which was rapidly becoming discomfort.

(I do not understand. She claims to be in love with me, and does not accept my love in return. She believes I cannot. that I am no better than a drone..?)

Her brows furrowed deeper, and her body fought hard against the choking tightness that rose from her stomach. Her lungs began to constrict, leaving her to breathe only in short, shallow gasps.

(This is unlike anything that I have experienced. To say it is unpleasant would be an understatement.)

She squinted as a hot stinging sensation began at the back of her eyes. Though her fingernails dug hard into the palms of her hands, she felt nothing but the dull thump of her heart, the vibration resonating throughout her entire being. A hollow pit lay where her stomach had previously been, and her lips parted , revealing gritted teeth.

Blinking madly, she felt a trail of moisture streak quickly down her right, then left cheek. They moved past her jaw, meeting at the centre of her throat, then ran down quickly, seeping gently into the collar of her biosuit. Her expression remained a strange mixture of pain and defiance, although now she felt a soft quivering around her lips.

(This feeling will pass. I will wait. It... must pass...)

********************************************************

Kathryn paced up and down the length of her quarters. It was three hours until her next shift at the bridge, and she hadn't slept at all since her last. She thumped the bottom of her fist against anything that happened to come into range as she walked.

(Oh, what a mess! And I've hurt Seven. what a stupid thing to say, 'you can't love' after everything... )

Sitting down at her small dining table, she glanced idly at the time.

(Great. Chakotay's going to be cursing me for turning up to duty in this state. I must look like hell...)

She pinched the bridge of her nose, and squeezed her eyes shut, resting her forehead on the cool surface of the table. She ran her right hand through her hair, clutching her head.

(No. I'm no use to anyone like this. I'll have to try to sleep.)

She stood up slowly, grabbing the table-top for support. Crossing over to her bedroom, thoughts of the evening's events swam around her mind like the contents of a snow-ornament. Everything she had ever wanted had been offered to her on a plate, and she hadn't taken it.

(Does that make me a fool? Is it just that I'm too afraid to allow myself some happiness? No. Seven's innocent. You can't be having thoughts like that about her, when she's hardly even begun to know what emotions are... she's just too young. And you have a responsibility that's too great for you to concentrate on anything else, much less a relationship.)

She threw herself onto the double bed, inhaling the strange odour of the freshly replicated sheets. Closing her eyes, she lay in a state of not-sleep for what felt like about an hour, at which point the computer signalled a presence at the door.

Opening her eyes, she jumped to her feet and strode into the lounge, fixing her bed-hair as she went.

"Come," she croaked.

The doors opened with a gasp, and a dishevelled looking Seven entered. Her posture was slouched, her eyes swollen and red. She lacked her usual defiant expression, instead appearing tired, almost ill, and utterly miserable. Her arms lay limply at her sides, and her face shone through recently shed tears.

(Oh. My. God. She looks how I feel.)

"Seven?!" Kathryn cried in disbelief, "is that really you?"

(This is incredible. She's been crying. Seven. Crying. Over me.)

Seven didn't answer. She looked as though in too much pain to reply. Instead, she stared sullenly at her Captain's feet.

Kathryn's eyebrows arched, and her lips parted in an unmistakable expression of love.

(This is it, Kathryn. It's the real thing. And if you want it, it's going to have to be now... or never.)