Elixir

“I’m going down there.”  Janeway felt herself being pulled back by her arm and swiveled her head back, her eyes pinning Chakotay’s down fiercely.  “You may be my First Officer, you may be my friend and you may offer me advice, but that doesn’t mean I have to follow it.”  She shrugged out of the grip harshly and jumped onto the transporter pad.  “Energize,” she barked.

Uncertain as the Ensign behind the controls was, Janeway found herself, along with Tuvok and the Doctor, in the middle of a forest.  When she picked her foot up to walk, she realized they were ankle deep in swampy water.

“Tuvok?” she asked quietly.  He merely pointed to a ridge to her right.  “All right.  Let’s go.”

When they reached the ridge, they entered the cave immediately, phasers at the ready.  Lights running down the length of the cave entrance offered guidance, easing them around protrusions in the floor.  Janeway held up her hand as they neared a sharp bend.

Crouching, she listened carefully to the cries of suffering.  Her resolve shattered instantly.  Tears threatened but she bit them back and wiped a stray drop away.  Supported by the wall, she inhaled deeply and pushed herself up.  This wasn’t the time or the place to lose it.  Again, she held her hand up, three fingers stretched out.  One by one, she let them drop and they entered the cavern together when the third one fell.

Angered beyond reproach, Janeway shot first and decided to ask questions later, if at all.  She was going to retrieve who she came for and leave.   There were only six to disarm, and she did that quickly allowing Tuvok and the Doctor to rush past her.  She wasn’t prepared for what she saw.  Janeway stood for a few moments as the abducted crewmember was released.

Finally, she stepped over the six stunned bodies and was immediately taken up.  Despite her frail and deteriorated appearance, Seven picked her up off her feet and hugged her tight.  The Doctor was behind her with a grim look on his face.  She nodded to Tuvok who contacted the ship for transport and instantly they were in Sick Bay bathed in soft light.

Seven let go of her with resistance, but kept Janeway’s hand as the Doctor pushed them both toward a bio bed.  She kept her eyes locked on Janeway who continued to look at the Doctor as he scanned the tricorder over Seven’s torn body.

From the corner of her eyes, Janeway glanced over Seven carefully.  Her eyes were a dull shade of blue surrounded by puffy redness.  There were numerous tears in her pale skin, though they were clean.  Fortunately, her implants looked in tact.  “What?” she asked, realizing the Doctor was speaking to her.

“She’s been poisoned.”  He closed the tricorder and laid it down before reaching for a hypospray.  “No doubt Seven’s been experiencing hallucinations, delirium…”

“Why the hell would they poison her and do,” she couldn’t find a word, “that to her but clean the wounds up?”

“I don’t know,” his voice was discernibly uncertain.  “Her implants are functioning normally and her wounds are clean.  A couple of doses of this,” he waggled the hypospray, “and some regeneration and she should be fine.”

“Mentally?”  Janeway looked to Seven again who hadn’t taken her eyes off her the entire time, or her hand.

He sighed.  “We won’t know until the effects of the poison wear off.  She’s too far gone right now to say anything coherent.”

Janeway sighed and held her other hand out for Seven to take.  “Come with me?”  Seven took her outstretched hand and uneasily slid off the bed.  She lost her balance but steadied herself through Janeway’s support.

“Reprogram her alcove for twenty four hours.”

Nodding, she and Seven slipped out into the corridor.  Crewmembers passed offering looks of sympathy and nods of acknowledgement as they weaved their way to the cargo bay.  The slight movement of the turbo lift unsettled Seven enough for her to wrap an arm around Janeway’s torso.  Undecidedly uncomfortable with the quiet closeness, Janeway was eager to get into the bay and put Seven to ‘bed.’

Seven moved to program the alcove herself, the effects of the serum working all ready, but Janeway held her back.  “No.  I’ll do it.”  Seven nodded and reluctantly released her grip.  When Seven removed herself, she shivered.  She tapped the controls as Seven eased back into the alcove, pausing before starting the cycle.  “I…  It’s good to have you back, Seven.”

Silence echoed from wall to wall shortly.  “Thank you, Captain.”

“You’re welcome.”  A small smile etched its way onto her lips.  “Good night.”  Finally, she pressed the control and sent Seven into sleep.  She lingered in the cargo bay for a while before returning to her own quarters where she found sleep as elusive as Seven had been.

Lounging in a hot bath, tainted with salts, Kathryn finally broke down over the events of the past two weeks.

--

Her sigh lingered in the living area in her quarters.  The compact hard backed book lay closed in her lap; its pages marked with elephant ears.  She yawned, stretched then walked to the replicator.  Although the novel was gripping, it failed to capture her completely.  Not much did lately.

Already dressed for sleep, she slipped under the covers.  After three positions, resting on her right side eased her into sleep.  Drifting, Kathryn heard the usually quiet chime indicating a visitor.  Now, it seemed overly loud.

“Computer, who’s at the door?”

“Seven of Nine.”

She sighed out of frustration.  Before she could allow Seven entry the chime sounded again.  “Come.”  Through starlit darkness, she watched Seven enter and look around.  “I’m in here, Seven.”

Seven’s head turned slightly toward the bedroom.  “You were asleep.  I’m sorry.”

Janeway had been wondering when Seven would come knocking.  Pained, she pushed lightly with her right arm, propping herself halfway up.  “It’s all right.  I was reading.  I just hopped in, actually.”

“Oh,” Seven mumbled.

“Did you need to talk?”  Silent, Seven entered the chamber.  She stood quietly a length from the bed.  “Seven, are you all right?”  Considering her recent ordeal, Kathryn knew Seven was far from fine.

After crash landing on a planet with Seven, Harry and Neelix, the ex-Borg was taken captive, tortured then treated by her captors.  Harry, Neelix and she were fortunate enough to get a transport back to Voyager.  Almost two weeks passed before they could detect Seven and recover her.  Despite small slices and scratches scattered across every inch of her skin, her mentality took a hard blow and Seven had yet to talk to anyone about the experience.

“Yes and no,” she said softly.  Janeway listened.  “I,” Seven hesitated and lowered her head.  “May I sleep with you?”

“You want to what?”  Janeway’s eyes were wide.  “Seven, I- I’m your captain, I can’t.”

Moments fled before Seven whispered, “I’m alone.  The cargo bay is insufficient to make me feel the way I want to feel.”

Janeway swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke hoarsely.  “And what is it you want to feel?”

“Safe.  I don’t want to be alone.  Of everyone on Voyager, I feel most safe in your presence.”

The Doctor was right.  Seven had changed and in a big, big way.  Janeway was relieved, however, that Seven only wanted to sleep with her, not sleep with her.  “First, go over to the replicator and find yourself something a little more comfortable than that, all right?”  Through the dark, she saw Seven’s demeanor lighten.

“You’ll allow me to stay?”

Seven sounded so timid, afraid.  “Yes.”  Janeway’s answer was careful.  She wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing.

When Seven moved toward the replicator, she lay flat again and shifted to the far side of the bed.  Returning, Seven stood at the edge of the bed.  Janeway patted the empty side.  “Come on.  I don’t bite.”

“Contrary to popular belief,” Seven quipped.

Janeway laughed.  She pulled the blankets up over herself and half tucked Seven in.

“Thank you, Captain.”

Janeway laughed quietly.  “Seven, if we’re sharing this bed, you’d better start calling me Kathryn.”

“Thank you, Kathryn,” Seven corrected.  She shifted onto her right side and curled into herself.

Kathryn felt Seven shudder after settling.  The way Seven rested, as close as she was, Kathryn felt the heat radiating from Seven’s body.

“Kathryn,” she whispered, her voice giving way to her tears.  “Hold me.”  After a moment, she added, “Please?”

Hesitant yet unable to resist, Kathryn reached out and pulled Seven closer, allowing her head to rest neatly in the crook of her shoulder.

That did it.  Wrapped in the warmth of blankets and arms, a floodgate opened inside Seven.

Kathryn held on, offering solace, as Seven wept.  She could only make out a word here and there.  One phrase that sounded like ‘I cried for you’ as Seven’s body continued to convulse in her arms.  She worked her fingers gently through the thin blonde strands of hair to calm her down.  Finally, when Seven started to quiet, shivers ran through her lengthy body and cries turned into sniffles.  “Can you tell me what happened?”  From Seven’s verbal tid bits and disheartened actions over the last few days, she knew the experience had been awful, but she wanted, and needed, to know the details, which was another thing that bothered her.  Seven had an eidetic memory.

Several minutes after intermittent sniffling, Kathryn still raked her fingers soothingly through the blonde’s hair.  She felt awkward in the eye of the storm.  “I went to find you and the away team after the crash.  It was an arrow.  Apparently, it was poisoned,” Seven managed a small laugh followed by a sniffle.  “Delirium is undesirable.  They treated my wounds and once my fever broke, they asked questions and,” she hesitated.  Seven closed her eyes and took a sharp breath.  “You saw.”  Janeway nodded against her and knew she needn’t describe anything further.  “Do you remember the vinculum?”

“Yes.”  The word squeaked from her lips.

“Despite treating the wounds, the delirium continued.  I experienced multiple feelings rather than personalities.  Unfortunately, I remember each feeling unlike not recalling your Ferengi and Krenim friends.”

Kathryn laughed through her nose at Seven’s humor.  “This witty side of you is definitely a good effect, though, Seven.”

“Perhaps.”

She tensed when Seven hugged her and pulled her body closer.  “What feeling’s did you go through down there?”

“You want me to list them all?  Do you know how long that will take?”  Receiving no answer, she sighed.  “I hated that you removed me from the Collective.  You put me in the way of everything that’s happened here on Voyager.  I was glad I wasn’t a drone.  It was a blur.  All the emotions swirled together as one in me.  Since returning, I’ve tried to sort everything and figure out what I feel about who now.”

Confused, Kathryn asked quietly, “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.  I wish I knew.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For what happened; that you’re confused.  I know what it’s like to be confused and it’s not fun.  You don’t have to tell me all this.”

“I want to.”

“Oh,” Kathryn inserted quietly.

“I feel I need to.”

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“I know, but that isn’t what this is about.”

“Then what is it about, Seven?  You’re in my bed.”

“I just want to feel safe and not alone.  And I do because I’m with you.”

“As flattered as I am, I can’t just let you sleep with me every night.  I’d like you to feel safe all the time, but I just can’t do it like this.”

“I know.  I knew that when I debated coming here and I knew asking tonight.  I just want one night to reassure myself.”

“Are you that afraid?”

“Yes.”

Kathryn kept quiet for a moment working the information through her brain.

“If you want me to leave, I will.”  Seven started to unfold herself from Kathryn’s grip.

“No.”  She panicked and held onto Seven.  “No.  I want you to stay.”  Seven didn’t move either way.  “Despite myself, I like having someone to hold onto; someone to need me,” she mumbled.  “But,” her voice was strong again, “I need to get some sleep.”

“Good night.”

“Good night, Seven.”  Seven resettled in her embrace comfortably, leaving her at a loss and full of tension.  Honesty aside, she still felt awkward holding Seven, especially in her bed.  Perhaps, if the circumstances were different, and she’d been stranded on the planet with Seven and Seven needed her support down there, then maybe she’d feel a little different.

Morning came and proved her feeling’s wrong.  Kathryn forgot what it was like to wake up in a bed full of tenderness.  She now remembered how it felt to have the security of arms wrapped around her and woke with a smile touching her lips.  Considering they were Seven’s arms and Seven’s warmth hardly made a difference.  She liked it despite her better judgment and didn’t want to move and lose the contact.

Seven rested her chin lightly on Kathryn’s neck.  “Did you sleep well?”  She felt her captain tense and gasp.  “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Tilting her head toward Seven, Kathryn caught her breath.  “I- it’s been a while since I’ve been in this position.  I guess I was taking advantage.  I’m sorry.”  Shaking, she tried to leave the bed, but Seven pulled her back.  “Seven, we have to go.”  She struggled a little longer.

“Why?”  Feeling panic in Kathryn’s body, she let go.  “If we were enjoying it, what harm is there?”

Standing, she turned and looked down at Seven laying on her side in the bed.  Her bed.  “Last night- If, and I mean if, we were together romantically, then, yes, we could lie there and enjoy one another like that, but Seven,” she sighed raising a hand to her forehead and suddenly, she was enlightened.

Moments passed and scattered memories of the past four years came flooding back.  Looking at Seven, she knew now what she truly meant then in the brig on the Dauntless.  Empty but meaningful threats of assimilation floated by along with the memories of the encounter with the infected Borg vinculum then offering Seven the choice to stay with Voyager or go with the Think Tank.  The recollections stung her eyes but she smiled faintly calling to mind Seven’s interest in human mating habits and her own missing pip, the conversation they had.  Tears threatened again remembering beaming aboard the Delta Flyer to put a stop to a series of conspiracies and self-preservational suicide.  Quickly, she flashed through those of the Tsunkatse matches and Unimatrix Zero, even Axum.  Meanwhile, Seven stared at her from the bed and she remembered the promise to take her to Indiana.

The images went quickly through her brain, flashing in new light.  “Damn,” she whispered.  Her hand dropped to her mouth, covering it.  “Seven…” it had been too obvious for her to see.  Janeway rubbed her face then and repeated her self quietly, “You haven't failed.  You've exceeded my expectations.  You've become an individual… an extraordinary individual.  If I'm having trouble accepting your condition…  it's only because I don't want to lose a friend.”

 

Seven cocked her head.  “What?”

 

“Seven…”

 

“Kathryn?”

 

“Would you join me for dinner tonight?”