Fear is a bird

*****

Lost
is a puzzle
of stars
that breathes
like water
and chews
like stone

*****

It actually looked kind of pretty, the lush foliage, all the deep dark greens reminiscent of the Earth’s former rainforests, the ones’ Janeway had walked through on a holodeck several times in her life. It had been painfully slow on board lately, uninhabited planets one right after another , that this was a welcome change. They had detected life scattered about, a civilization about equal to Earth in the 16th century, definitely not technically advanced to make contact with. They had been observing the wrinkled faced creatures for a few days and the sight of that dense vegetation was calling to Janeway. It’d been so long since she’d walked though a real forest, felt a sun warm on her back. She’d love to sample some of the local flora and fauna, bring it back on board, see if some one could attempt to cultivate it for a possible food source. What was that Ensign’s name who had a magic touch for growing those beautiful orchids? Oh yes Ensign Olam, of course. She decided that she’d go down and take a look around.
After finding an unpopulated section to beam down to, she had an idea. She would ask Seven to join her. Seven needed to be eased into a natural environment so when they returned home (*when* not if) she’d be comfortable. Her recent unwillingness to go to the recreation of Earth and Starfleet Academy that Species 8472 had created had bothered the Captain some. She had concluded that the young woman felt uneasy with going to a place that the crew had so many emotions towards. Seven was often turned off by displays of emotion, Janeway had noticed.
*Well* she thought *maybe if it’s just her and I then it would be easier. She is most comfortable with me after all *
Janeway definitely had a place in her heart for this former drone. She was extremely protective of her, of her developing personality the Captain was no fool though she knew most of the crew viewed her to be distant, offish. . .what had she heard B’Elanna mutter under her breath once? A bitch, she believed. Well Seven and B’Elanna weren’t exactly buddy buddy anyway, never had been and Seven could sense the half Klingon’s animosity towards her. Janeway kept a close eye on the situation, which B’Elanna knew, even if Seven didn’t. Because of this, the half Klingon was careful about her words and Janeway was appreciative of it. She didn’t demand that all of her crew like Seven, she was part Borg after all and no one in the Federation was untouched by that species’ destruction. But what mattered in the long run was Seven’s perception of her own race-that she see them as a kind, accepting, even if that was hardly the kind of feelings Seven projected back.
But Janeway knew despite it all, Seven respected her, and was loyal, if not to Voyager, than to the Captain herself. What a long way Seven had come since they first encountered her. Janeway was redeemed daily for her choice to free the drone.
"Seven, a moment please." she said as she walked across the bridge to her ready room. The tall young blonde followed her, standing rather formally in front of the Captain’s desk.
"Relax, Seven, take a seat." Janeway gestured to the chair in front of the former Drone. "This isn’t a formal meeting, I assure you."
Seven sat down, her eyebrow lifting in bland curiosity. Janeway knew this was as expressive as she got.
"I’m planning on going down to an unpopulated area of the surface of the planet we are orbiting right now. I thought I’d go down tomorrow because the place reminds me so much of Earth’s rainforests, not to mention its been a good long while since I was in a real natural environment. I was wondering if you cared to join me." she smiled at her, seeing the trill of shock pass through for an instant in Seven’s usually unreadable eyes.
"And the purpose of this mission would be. . ." Seven seemed unsure of what exactly Janeway was asking.
"It’s not a mission Seven, just a little look around, a bit of an afternoon walk that’s all. Thought it would be nice on your freeday tomorrow."
"I don’t see the purpose in this trip Captain."
"Seven there is no practical, definable *purpose*, as such. It’s just a little venture, a kind of day-vacation."
"A vacation?" Oh Seven was having none of that. "I do not require a *break* Captain."
"Well, at least come with me and see what a real natural environment looks and feels like. With an old pro at appreciating such things like me with you, you’ll be sure to pick up something." Seven looked at her a moment unsure of this all.
"Will anyone else be joining us on this. . .venture?"
"No, just you and I." Janeway again saw something flash in Seven’s blue eyes and wondered on it’s source. She knew, well she thought that the young woman held her in a certain esteem, she could tell from her action towards her, and she figured some time with the Captain would be a good thing.
"I will go then, for your protection. I was unaware that you planned to go unescorted." Seven rose to her feet to leave, the issue, in her mind, closed.
"Oh well, thank you for the concern. It’s good to know I’ll have a date for the prom now after all." Janeway joked. Seven looked at her confused.
"It’s a joke, Seven. Meet me in Transporter Room Three at 0900 hours tomorrow. Dismissed."

When Janeway arrived at 5 to 0900, Seven was already there, waiting for her.
"Good Morning Seven." she greeted as the younger woman reached over to take the botany cases the Captain was carrying. "Oh thank you."
"I will carry these for you Captain." Seven said stepping up on the Transporter.
"I’m not that old Seven." Janeway smiled at her as she stood next tot he former Borg.
"I didn’t mean to imply that, Captain, I was merely following protocol and-"
"No need, Seven, I was just teasing." Janeway waved away her explanation, then turned to the Transporter chief.. "Whenever you’re ready, Chief Anderson."

Something had gone wrong in the transport, Janeway knew it. There wasn’t any evidence of it- both of them had arrived just fine, but she *knew* something was wrong. She tapped her commbadge.
"Janeway to Voyager." she began.
"It’s just a minor energy flux, Captain." Chief Anderson answered. "It’ll take a few hours to fix though, I’m afraid."
"That’s no problem, Chief. A few undisturbed hours was what I was planning on anyway."
"Contact us when you are ready to leave and we’ll update you on our progress."
"I will thank you." she turned to Seven. "Shall we?"

The trip was quiet, uneventful- and exactly what Kathryn needed. Seven wasn’t an overly chatty person in the least, and besides the rare question or comment, didn’t say much of anything. She dutifully helped the Captain collect flower samples into the biological chambers they had brought, but seemed out of the spirit of the trip. She seemed down right awkward through out, unsure of how to react to these surrounds and to Kathryn’s reaction to them.
"You’re confused, Seven." It was more a statement than a question from Kathryn.
"Captain?"
"You’re unsure about all this, don’t see why this would be appealing." She looked at the younger woman’s face closely. Seven seemed to be deciding on the best response.
"The natural air and sunlight is effective on the human eye and tied to their emotions, that I understand. But, no, Captain, I do not see this place’s appeal."
"It’s having an eye for it really. I suppose many humans are drawn to the sensory stimulation of these kind of environments." She grasped Seven’s arm lightly to stop her. "Just stand back and listen, inhale, feel the air."
Seven looked at her, almost annoyingly perplexed, then down at where Janeway’s hand rested on her arm. Kathryn caught it and smiled slightly, removing her hand and continuing on walking.
"This-this sensory stimulation that humans are so fasinating with confuses me. I am unable to understand it." Seven admitted as she walked along side.
"Well, beyond the stimuli to nerve endings and the scientific/biological part of it, things like touch, smell, taste are very closely linked to a human’s memory, to their emotions. The touch of a mother to a child for instance, a soothing, calming effect. the smell of a particular flower, like this one here. . ." Janeway stopped and opened one of the cases, trying to locate one particularly beautiful flower she had spotted earlier.
"Is there a problem, Captain?" Seven asked upon seeing Janeway searching through unsuccessfully.
"Yes, I think I left that one breed of flower, the deep violet one, back a ways."
"Captain, allow me to return and get it."
"No, Seven, really I’m the one-"
"Please, I insist." Seven took the case from Kathryn, leaving no room for an argument. "I will be back shortly."
Before she could turn to leave, Kathryn reached out and placed a hand on Seven’s face, cupping her cheek lightly. The younger woman didn’t pull away like Kathryn thought she might, rather looked down at her with big, shocked blue eyes.
"Thank you Seven." Kathryn pulled her hand away and watched her turn around and walk away.
"Like a mother to a child." Seven murmured to herself as she walked. Maybe that touch, sensory stimuli idea wasn’t so difficult to understand, Seven thought to herself as she raised her own Borg tubule-covered hand to where Kathryn’s had been. She could feel it tingling, every pore on her body was. She decided it wasn’t a completely unenjoyable experience, after all.

*****

Alone
is a reminder
of how far
acceptance
is from
understanding


*****

About a half hour later, Seven was almost back at where she believed the flower to be. She walked swiftly to her destination, her thoughts no longer on sensory stimuli rather on working out the latest upgrade to the ship’s replicators. A rustle nearby caught her eye. She looked closer into the brush and could see a slightly moving figure.
"Damn." she muttered under her breath. So much for not making contact with the natives.
The figure emerged, standing to its full height of at least 7 and a half feet. These species were highly gigantic, and not all that particularly pleasing to look at from a human standpoint. A gnarled overly wrinkled face regarded her harshly, little beady black eyes glaring out with an unfamiliar expression to Seven from folds of flesh.
"Well look at you." he snarled. "A gae-laheact. All dolled up, skin stretched like an animal."
"I assure you, sir, that I am not what you think I am." Seven regarded him hesitantly, unsure of what to make of his leering expression.
"A perfect being, gift of Veb, sent her to taunt me."
:"Sir-" Seven was cut off a voice came from her commbadge.
"Voyager to Seven of Nine-there’s a life form very near by, please vacate the area immediately."
This disembodied voice horrified the creature and with one fair swoop of his gigantic paw he tore Seven’s commbadge badge off.
"Voice of Veb! The Evil one!" he crushed the small piece of technology in his hand, pouring it out as a thousand bit pieces. "You are her child! I must do as legend says, give into temptation, plant a seed of goodness with in you."
Seven pulled out her phaser and set it on stun, aiming for the creature’s chest. "I wouldn’t recommend it."
She hadn’t, however, expected something of his size to be so agile. Before she realized what was happening, he had swatted the phaser out of her hand. Out of nowhere came the huge claw again and he grabbed Seven by the throat, picking her struggling form up off the ground.
"It will begin now"

*****

Fear
is a bird
that believes itself
into extinction


*****

"Captain Janeway! Voyager to Captain Janeway! Please respond!"
The urgent voice on her commbadge woke Kathryn immediately from her light doze.
"Yes, I’m here, go ahead." All her alerts were up now, she knew something was wrong.
"We’ve lost contact with Seven; her commbadge has been destroyed somehow. Our sensors are detecting a being near her, very near her actually. Our Transporter is still malfunctioning-"
"I’m on my way to find her, tell me where to go, and then you get back to getting the Transporter functioning as soon as possible."

Janeway half walked/half ran to find Seven, her heart thumping rapidly in building fear. She could feel that something was wrong, and with each passing minute, it was getting worse. It took about 25 minutes until she saw forms in the distance.
When she got closer she realized that one of these species was on top of Seven. She couldn’t even see Seven, the thing on top of her so mammoth, obviously attacking her.
"Freeze!" Kathryn pulled out her phaser and pointed it at this thing. A face, hideous in its expression gazed up at her.
"Captain!" She could hear Seven call out in the most fearful tone she’d ever heard from Seven, from anyone. This was all she needed; she pressed the fire button and shot the creature off her. Once she saw he was disabilitated, she ran over to Seven’s side.
Truly nothing in the world could have prepared her for the sight that met her eyes. Something deep within her tore open at it, tears stinging her eyes. Dear God, she thought, not her, not my Seven. . .
The younger woman was stripped of all her clothes her body covered in deep gaping cuts from the creature’s sharp claws. Her eyes were swollen shut and a deep red; she appeared to be totally blinded. Kathryn gingerly approached her, lightly touching Seven’s face. The woman jerked her head away in deep primal fear.
"It’s me Seven, it’s Kathryn." she assured her in a very gentle voice.
"Captain?" Seven flailed her hands out in front of her, searching. Kathryn took hold of them , and kneeled down beside Seven’s broken form. Feeling her close, Seven turned towards her and acting purely on instinct, pulled the younger woman into her arms.
"It’s alright, Seven, he won’t hurt you anymore." Kathryn lightly rocked her, watching Seven’s body curl up to hers. She lightly tapped her commbadge. "Captain to Voyager- we need an immediate transport back on board."
"We’re still working on-"
"No, we need it now, we have a medical emergency here. Beam Seven and I to sick bay immediately."
"No, Captain!" Seven’s voice called out from Kathryn’s embrace. "Not the sickbay, I don’t want anyone to see me, not like this."
She wanted to argue with her, point out that she needed medical attention. But she knew right then that Seven needed to be humored, her mental health being more fragile than her physical.. She pulled the woman closer and shushed her lovingly.
"Alright then, Seven." she rested her cheek against the blond head, feeling Seven’s hand grasping the front of her blood soaked uniform. "Voyager, two to beam directly to my quarters. Have a medical team waiting outside the door immediately."
"Kathryn," it was Chakotay "We’re going to give it a try."
Within a few seconds, her and Seven were in the Captain’s quarters. The lights were dim but she could see that Seven was filthy with grim and blood.
"We need to get you cleaned up first of all, and see where you’re hurt. Can you stand and walk with me to the bed?" Kathryn waited but received no physical or verbal response. "Seven?"
"I can’t. . .I have to go . . . I have to . . ." Seven still clung to Kathyrn, her long thin arms, bruised now, wrapped around her waist, her abused face tucked into her chest.
"Where do you have to go, Seven? Where?" Kathryn spoke very low, soothingly, so not to jar Seven in her still altered state, as she gently stroked Seven’s knotted loose hair.
"I have to. . . Get the flower. . . I have to go. . . go get it . . ." Kathryn could feel the front of her shirt dampen with Seven’s tears. She was relieved to see that she could still cry, despite whatever was done to her eyes.
"It’s alright Seven,. that doesn’t matter now." She tilted the younger woman’s face back gently, lovingly caressing the side of it trying to see the damage. "Computer increase lights."
The moment the room lit up, Seven cried out in agony, covering her face. Kathryn could see briefly that some of Seven’s human eye was still exposed, red and aggravated, while her Borg eye was completely non-responsive.
"Computer, lower lights." Janeway called out, holding Seven closer. "I’m sorry, I didn’t know the light would hurt your eyes so badly."
"I’m. . . I’m . . .it hurts Captain. . . I think . . .it all hurts." Seven mumbled incoherently.
"What hurts, Seven?"
"Me!" Seven cried out in anguish. "I hurt, all of me!"
"Alright, it’s alright, I’ll take care of you now. We need to get you over to the bed so I can clean you up. Can you walk?"
"I have to go Captain. . .I can’t be. . . oh it. . . " Seven clung to Kathryn, reaching out blindly for her face, laying bruised fingers on the Captain’s cheek. Kathryn took the battered hand into hers very tenderly, interlacing their fingers and pressing her lips to Seven’s bloody forehead.
"It’s okay, Seven. Let’s see how strong I am, if I can support you."
With no small amount of struggle, Kathryn got her over to the bed and laid her down. She could see with Seven’s body stretched out in front of her that the younger woman was badly injured. The former Borg wouldn’t allow Kathryn to be distant for very long.; her hands would flail about in search of her comforting form. The Captain took them into her hands and calmed her, sitting at the head of the bed pulling Seven’s head into her lap, wrapping arms about her.
"We’ve got things to do here Seven. Will you let me?" Kathryn spoke very quietly, very intimately.
"Things?" a frail, scared voice asked.
"We need to clean you up, heal these wounds, see what’s wrong with your eyes. Can we do this?"
"I don’t want you to leave me." Seven’s voice was so frightened, so unlike her usual even dead monotone.
"I’ll be right back but I have to go get the medial supplies. They’re just outside the door." Seven’s arms tightened around Janeway.
"No." she said it very very quietly.
"Yes, Seven, please for your own sake. I’m very worried about you, and me staying here without any supplies isn’t going to help any." Kathryn decided to use a soft abet commanding tone, hoping that something deep with Seven, some habit, would force her to respond.
"Promise you’ll be back soon?" Seven gripped Kathryn so tightly.
"I’ll be right back, you just stay here." She eased her body out of Seven’s desperate grasp and went over to the door. Chakotay, along with a medical team, was waiting out in the corridor.
"Captain, what’s happened?" Chakotay asked as soon as he saw her.
"I’m not sure yet. All I know is that Seven was attacked, by one of those. . . monsters down there. I can’t be sure, not yet, but because of the state I found her in, I think that Seven was raped."
"Oh dear Gods." Chakotay lifted a hand to his temples, trying to comprehend this.
"We have to consider this is the first real intimate, sensory-based experience has ever had and it was one of extreme violence. This could set her development back severely." she began taking the med. cases from the team. then addressed them aswell as Chakotay. "Until such time as I declare this goes no further than you assembled here. The last thing Seven needs to be thinking and worrying about is everyone talking about this deeply personal event. Until further notice, Chakotay you have the bridge."
"Yes, ma’am."

Janeway re-entered her quarters, her eyes adjusting to the dim lighting. She went into her dressing room and changed out of her uniform, now soaked with Seven’s blood and tears, and into her grey turtle neck, then replicated a large tub of water. She took some towels out and went back to the bedroom, knowing she’d have no luck getting Seven into he sonic shower in her present state. She nearly dropped the water when she saw Seven.
She was in the corner, nude, grasping Kathryn’s discarded phaser and blindly pointing it about. Blood poured from her wounds and she teetered on unstable legs. Her long tangled blond hair wildly framed her battered face.
"Who’s there? Is it you, you monster?! Don’t you touch me! The Captain will be back soon and she’ll kill you for just looking at me." Seven screeched wildly, her voice struggling between horror and hysterics.
"Seven it’s me. Come on back and lay down so I can get you cleaned up." Kathryn spoke in a very reassuring tone, evenly, so not to startle Seven.
"Captain?" she asked in a fragile, uncertain voice.
"That’s right, Seven, it’s me. Hand me the phaser."
"No!" Seven went up on her guard again. "No, it’s the monster disguising his voice, trying to trick me. Let me- Let me feel your face if you really are the Captain."
She extended a hand out, cautiously, and Janeway led it to her cheek. The floodgates broke and Seven fell sobbing into her arms.
"It’s okay now, Seven, it’s alright. I promise you that he’ll never touch you ever again. You trust me, right?" the tangled blonde head nodded against her shoulder. "Alright then, get back into the bed. I’ll clean you up and you can try to rest some; it’ll do you good."
As she guided Seven back, the younger woman lifted her head some and asked in a quiet voice, more calm now, yet still very frightened. "You won’t leave me will you?"
"No, I’ll stay here with you. Just you and I, okay?" Seven gripped her tighter in response.
She laid down on the bed, now very quiet, very still. Kathryn could tell the adrenaline rush Seven had been on was fading and exhaustion was finally setting in. The Captain went and got the tub and towels, then the med cases and sat them down beside Seven on the bed.
"Let’s clean you off so we can see where you’re hurt." She dipped the towel in the water and gently applied it to Seven’s battered face. The younger woman started at the touch.
"It’s just a wet towel Seven, that’s all. Just me and you, remember?" Kathryn reached out to cup the swollen cheek in her hand. Seven reached up, shaking slightly from strain and covered it with her own.
"Like a mother to a child." she said, weakly.
"That’s right, Seven. Just try to calm yourself, just relax. You’re safe here, safe here with me." She watched as Seven took a deep breath, and then slowly released it.
The towel pressed to Seven’s face again, and this time she didn’t flinch, rather gripped onto Kathryn’s hand.

An hour later, Chakotay received a call from the Captain to come to her quarters immediately.
"On my way." he responded. Everyone on the Bridge looked at him intently as he left. Word had spread that something had happened to Seven on the surface, something bad enough that she was being cared for by the Captain herself in her quarters. But no one knew for sure what had happened, they had nothing but worry.

"Chakotay, thank you for coming so quickly." Kathryn brought him into her quarters, but kept him close to the door.
"How is she?"
"Resting for now. I gave her a sedative to get her mind restful enough to sleep, after I finished mending all her wounds."
"Was she raped?" he asked, apprehensively, just hoping. . .
"Yes, I believe so." Chakotay sighed in deep grief. "I know, Chakotay. I found evidence of it, she was harmed quite badly internally, some of the tears were so deep that they were beyond my ability to fix. They should be fine for a while, until she feels ready to let someone skilled enough look at them."
"Anything else?"
"Yes, her eyes. She seems to have had some kind of toxin poured into them. I can’t be sure where it came from but it was bad enough to nearly blind her human eye and short out her Borg implant one. I took a sample of it." she pressed a vial into his hand. "Take a look for me and see if you can figure out where it came from."
"Are they fine now? I mean were you able to fix them?"
"I cleaned her human one out and have a visor over it now which should heal it up by the time she wakes up. As for her Borg eye, it has, for all intents and purposes, ‘adapted’, true to form and seems to functioning just fine now." she smiled sadly. "I suppose the Borg never disappoints."
"So, everything is under some sense of control now?"
"For now. I mean, I physically healed her, but her emotional stability has been completely shattered. She’s delousional at times, and so deadly silent at others that it almost frightens me. Plus she refuses to go to Sickbay, insisting on only having me with her. She’s terrified I’ll leave her."
"You stay here for as long as you need to then, Kathryn. We can handle the ship for awhile."
"Thank you, Chakotay, it’s much appreciated."
"And as for her attacker, shall we get him, or leave him be-"
"No need, he’s dead."
Chakotay looked at her for a long moment, silent.
"You killed him." it was a statement, not a question.
"He attacked and raped Seven, Chakotay." Kathryn’s voice was becoming angry.
"Kathryn-"
"Dammit, this is my Seven, Chakotay! She didn’t deserve that! For what he did to her I’d kill him again if I had the chance!" Her voice was filled with rage and bitterness and he could see tears sparkling in her eyes now. He reached out and grasped her shoulders for support as she continued in a weary voice, the tears now streaming down her face. "My god, I’ve just spent the last hour cleaning her and seeing these horrible, painful wounds. And she was so scared, so completely destroyed by this. Oh god, it’s my fault, I let her go back for that stupid flower by herself, made her come down there with me in the first place. I put her in harm’s way, Chakotay."
"No you didn’t Kathryn. If you had known you would have kept her here- but that’s just it, you had no way of knowing this was going to happen. This isn’t your fault." he enforced, and she sighed in resignation.
"Dear god, this is horrible. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but especially not her. She doesn’t have the good memories to discern that this was the wrong kind of intimacy. She’ll never be able to trust anyone- how’s she ever going to be able to have any relationships now?"
"She will trust someone- because she trusts you now, and because you respect that trust so much. And I couldn’t think of a better person to take care of her during this, to help her through."
She smiled meekly at him in response.
"I hope you don’t think to lowly of me for killing that-thing."
"If I had been there, I would have done the same thing." he answered solemnly, then turned and left without another word.
Kathryn went back to her bedroom and from the doorway, watched Seven sleep. She was clothed now, in one of Kathryn’s nightgowns which hung loose on her tall thin frame. Her blond hair shone in the dim light about her face, her beautiful face. Kathryn knew, as any fool with eyes in their head would know, that Seven was beautiful. The blond hair, the light blue eyes, the willowy yet voluptuous figure-she looked like the type of girl Kathryn had envied in her youth. Kathryn knew now that she was a beautiful young woman in those days, but back when she was younger her confidence in her appearance had been painfully low. Those kind of girls were the ones she envied, the ones, well, the ones she had adored, worshipped, loved. Now here was Seven, like a back hand of Fate giving her exactly what she had always wanted then. And she found she loved Seven all the more for her fragileness, for her flaws- knowing that even those really beautiful ones had problems.
Loved Seven. . .she thought about what she’d admitted so casually, then pushed it away. She loved Seven as she loved all her crew. . . like. . .like a. . .
"Like a mother to a child." she whispered to herself.
She went over to the bed and sat down beside Seven’s sleeping form. She lightly stroked the blond hair that covered the pillow. Kathryn couldn’t remember ever really seeing Seven’s hair down, and noticed how long it was, thick and slightly wavy. She’d sprayed it with the cleaning spray earlier, so she knew it was clean but she figured now was as good a time as any to ease out the snarls.

*****

Desperation
the honest recognition
of a false truth


*****

As gentle as she’d tried to be, Kathryn still had to jar Seven slightly when brushing out the tangles. The young woman awoke with a start, frightened and disoriented. She threw the visor that blinded her across the room while letting out screams of terror.
"Seven, it’s alright, it’s me!" Kathryn pressed Seven’s arms against her chest with her own hands, pinning her down to calm her flailing. This only served to agitate Seven more and she pushed Kathryn away violently in her fear. She rolled up into the fetal position on the opposite side of the bed, trying to make herself as small as possible.
"Seven. . .it’s me, it’s Kathryn. Here, take my hand." She extended out her hand and waited. She could see Seven wavering, trying to find Kathryn’s familiar face in the dark. Trusting the voice, and the woman who spoke it, she took the offered hand into a tight grasp.
"Captain?"
"Yes, its me Seven."
The blonde hurdled herself into Kathryn’s arms, burying herself into her embrace. Her sobs were almost hysterical in their pitch as Kathryn held her close, rocking her slightly.
"It was real, wasn’t it?" Seven asked, voice broken with hiccups and sobs.
"Oh Seven. . ." Kathryn couldn’t bring herself to answer, to affirm it.
"It was real, wasn’t it!?" Seven demanded. "Why did this happen? How could I let it?"
"Seven, some things are beyond our control --this was one of those things." Kathyrn stroked the tear flushed face as she spoke. Silence was Seven’s answer. For a long moment the only sound was their collective breathing, the only movement Kathryn’s soothing caresses on the younger woman’s back and face.
"That was the intimacy humans yearn for." Seven said in a quiet, flat tone.
"Oh, no, Seven, nothing could be farther from it. That was a perversion of the act. True intimacy for a human is beautiful, pure and loving. It’s gentle, an outward act of one’s deep inward feelings of trust, loyalty and love."
Seven was silent again with he thoughts. Love, trust, loyalty. . .she could hear Kathryn’s heartbeat beneath the ear she had pressed to her chest, was lulled by the even tide of her breathing, in and out, in and out.
The smell that surrounded her was comforting, soothing. It was. . .it was Kathryn’s smell her own unique scent, and it was having this effect on her mental state.
She sat up, pulling away, and raised her hands to her own body, fingering the thin silk nightgown she was wearing. It too had Kathryn’s scent on it, the bed did, the whole room. She felt enveloped in it. Suddenly, she missed the sound of the heartbeat, the lull of the breathing.
"Computer lights." she called out, and illumination flooded the room. Kathryn was still clothed in her grey shirt and black pants, her hair now somewhat disarrayed. Seven sat in front of her, looking her straight in the eye. She was met with an open gaze back, Kathryn’s never flickering. Seven let her eyes travel over the older woman’s body, but always returned to her eyes.
Tentatively, with a great amount of caution, she began to reach out a hand to Kathryn’s face. Still, she didn’t flinch, just sat silently waiting. Seven’s hand moved slowly out to the Captain’s face, gently barely even touching her. An impulse came over Seven, so strong. Intimacy. . . based on love, trust and loyalty. . . .soothing comfort . . .she wanted this with her. . .with. . . .
Her hand jerked away and she went to the opposite corner of the bed, curling up in a ball again. She tried to hide her face form Kathryn, her eyes betraying her as they darted out fleeting glances at the other woman.
"Seven," Kathryn extended her hand out again and waited for her to flinch to pull away.
"Please leave me alone." Seven said in a wretched tone.
"Don’t shut me out, it’ll do more harm than good."
"I have to." was the quiet answer. Kathryn felt her heart twinge at the simple truth spoken.
"Why Seven, why do you have to?" she talked very softly, lovingly, slowly moving closer to the younger woman.
"Because. . .I don’t trust it."
"Trust what dear?"
"This." was her only answer. Her head lifted slightly and her wide, confused blue eyes met Kathryn’s.
"You need your rest now." Kathryn straighten out the blanket, thankfully letting the subject drop. "Why don’t you get back under the covers."
"Captain-"
"Kathryn."
Seven looked at her closely. She realized that the older woman might know what she was experiencing. An unusual reaction happened- she felt her cheeks redden at the thought.
"Kath-Kathryn," she said awkwardly "I do not require rest."
"Maybe not under normal circumstances, but your conscious mind needs the break. Now, " she held her hand out to help her. "Come on."
Seven tentatively took the hand and Kathryn helped her under the blanket. Once she was settled, Kathryn sat beside her and smiled.
"You’re not going to leave me are you? Kathryn?" she asked, unsure.
"Of course not. You rest, I’ll be here the whole time." she leaned forward and lightly kissed Seven’s temple. As she pulled away slightly she could see the younger woman’s big blue eyes shining as they looked up at her. Before she could pull away, Seven reached up and touched her cheek very gently.
"You-" she spoke in a bare whisper "You need rest now too, Kathryn."
Seven moved over slightly, looking up at Kathyrn to see if she’d crawl in beside her. When she did, Seven slowly moved over to lay against her side face tucked into her chest. There again was the heartbeat, the steady rhythm lulling her to sleep.

When Kathyrn awoke, her instinct told her to throw out an arm in search of Seven. When she felt nothing but the mattress, she sat up, looking around the dimly lit room.
Seven stood in the dressing room directly opposite the bed, in front of the mirror. She was looking at herself with an indiscernible expression, turning sideways then frontwards again.
"Seven," Kathryn called out to her. The young woman looked startled, turning towards her.
"I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m sorry." she spoke in her old monotone but it was different now, it was filled with so much more- uncertainty, yet trust. Kathryn doubted that it would ever be the same again.
"What are you doing, dear?" she asked with a slight smile. Seven looked at her, opening her mouth as if to answer, then looking away dissatisfied.
"What, Seven? You can tell me." Kathryn still smiled slightly, trying to encourage her.
"Kathryn, "Seven said softly, struggling for her words. "Do you find me. . .do you think I’m beautiful?"
Kathryn couldn’t disguise her reaction, the shock that Seven would even question this. She patted the bed beside her, telling Seven to come sit.
"Seven, yes, you are beautiful, quite so." Kathryn said when she’d sat down. "Why do you even have to ask?"
"Why am I beautiful?" Seven disregarded Kathryn’s question.
"Why? You mean physically?"
"There are other ways I am. . .I am beautiful?" Seven was truly shocked by this.
"Yes, Seven You’re beautiful in here." Kathryn pressed a hand to the center of Seven’s chest.
"What do you mean?"
"In your heart, in your soul." Kathryn took the younger woman’s hand. "Physically, as a human female, you are gorgeous. You have beautiful eyes, good bone structure, nice lips, generally a good face, a very beautiful face. Add that to your body, height and your hair-well yes Seven you are very beautiful."
"I wish I was like you." Seven responded, quite displeased.
"What?!" Kathryn was completely shocked.
"I think you’re beautiful, and your-" Seven reached out a hand and touched the center of Kathryn’s chest lightly. "in here is so complex, so incredible. You constantly amaze me with your actions. That makes you beautiful, much more than me."
Kathryn felt her eyes mist at the woman’s words, even though Seven hadn’t said it as a compliment, just an honest statement of fact. She took the younger woman’s hand in hers.
"Thank you, Seven."
"Kathryn, I did not mean to upset you. . ."
"No, no Seven, you haven’t upset me. I’m just very touched, that’s all." Kathryn stroked Seven’s cheek. "You’re a very beautiful woman, you have no need to be unsatisfied with you appearance."
"You make me feel beautiful." Seven said softly.
There was alot behind that statement, so much that Kathryn decided not to pursue it. She smiled at Seven, was surprised when she leaned forward and kissed Kathryn’s cheek.
"Go back to sleep, dear." she said in gentle response. "I’m going to go eat something."
Seven nodded and laid back down as Kathryn got up and walked to the doorway. She turned to watch the young woman settle in.
"You make me feel beautiful aswell, Seven." she murmured softly, so much so that Seven barely caught it. "Sleep well."

An hour later, her door chimed, telling her someone was there.
"Open" she said softly and smiled. "B’Elanna, thank you for coming."
"I came as soon as my shift ended." the half Klingon entered the room, letting her eyes adjust to the dimness. "Oh Captain, you look exhausted."
She embraced the older woman- it wasn’t a common action between them, but she had the feeling Kathryn needed the support.
"It’s just Kathryn in here, B’Elanna. I leave the Captain at the door." she released her and smiled weakly.
"How is she?" B’Elanna asked, her face full of concern. "She was raped, wasn’t she?"
"How did you find out?" Kathryn looked worried.
"Relax, Kathryn. No one told me, I just *knew.*" B’Elanna squeezed her hand.
"Then you probably have a good idea why I asked you here." Kathryn sighed. "Now, B’Elanna I know you and Seven never really got along all that well in the past, but I thought I’d ask if you wouldn’t mind speaking to her, because of your. . .experience."
"Kathryn, despite how I felt about Seven, I think I may know what she’s going through now." B’Elanna smiled sadly. "Is she. . .ready to talk to me right now?"
"She’s resting, but she’ll probably be up soon- she isn’t sleeping too soundly these days for obvious reasons." Kathryn paused for a moment. "There’s something else I need your help on, B’Elanna."
"Yes?"
"Seven had some deep internal scarring that I wasn’t able to fix on my own- they were just too deep. Perhaps if she felt comfortable enough, she’d let you take a look at them." Kathryn looked B’Elanna straight in the eye, communicating the seriousness of what she was asking.
"If she allows me, I’ll be willing to see what I can do." B’Elanna placed a hand on Kathryn’s to reassure.
"Kathryn?" It was Seven’s voice, soft and slightly worried. B’Elanna and Kathryn looked over to the doorway of the bedroom where Seven stood self-consciously clinging to the frame. She looked up at B’Elanna with big blue eyes, head downturned, lips set. Seven was unsure why this woman, one who disliked her so much, was here.
"It’s alright, Seven." Kathryn smiled warmly. "I asked B’Elanna to come see you."
"If that’s alright with you, Seven." B’Elanna added, slowly approaching her.
"Why would you want to talk to me?" Seven asked in a guarded tone "I know that you don’t like me."
"Seven, regardless of our. . .former relationship, I know that I can help you now." B’Elanna smiled slightly. "I think I may know what you’re going through."
"How could you possibly know *what I am going through*? " Seven barked out bitterly.
"Because," B’Elanna was unruffled by her response, reaching out gently to take her hand. "When I was 15, the same thing happened to me."
Seven stared at her, agape, shocked that B’Elanna would be so open to her. Her eyebrows came together as she thought about this- that despite going through what had been for Seven a soul shattering experience, B’Elanna still managed to live a full, unaffected life.
"Why don’t I tell you the story, Seven. Would that be alright?" Seven nodded in response, looking to Kathryn as she and B’Elanna turned to the bedroom.
Seven sat on the bed, up against the head with her knees drawn up to her chest. Kathryn sat at the end of the bed, her body turned towards Seven, a hand out for support. The blonde woman’s eyes flickered between Kathryn and B’Elanna, who had sat down beside her.
"The man who did this to me was a friend of the family, trusted by my parents. But one night he decided to take advantage of that trust and of my innocence." she sighed. "I won’t go into details, but as he did it, he kept whispering into my ear, over and over, that it was my fault, that I had brought this onto myself. And I believed him, for years I did, all I would hear was that voice in my ear. But I know now, that it wasn’t my fault. I did *nothing* absolutely nothing to provoke that. He was just trying to shift the blame that belonged to him onto another. Releasing this blame your attacker gives you is so important, to realize that you didn’t ask for this, that there was nothing you could have done to avoid it. And to not continue to be the victim, to go on and live your life to the fullest. Cause if you don’t, then he does win."
B’Elanna paused a moment to get her bearings and watched as Seven looked at Kathryn for support. She smiled slightly to herself.
"There are other things you can do to help the healing, other things that can help you. I was like you in a way when this happened, because I had never been with anyone intimately. And to be honest, I was scared to be for a long time afterwards. But it’s important that you recognize that that act is not what intimacy is supposed to be, that you find a partner who loves and respects you, understands what you’ve gone through." B’Elanna blushed ever so slightly. "Someone like Tom, for example. My time with him teaches me that intimacy can be an incredible thing. I try to concentrate on that instead of what happened to me when I was younger. And I know I’m in the right trusting him, loving him."
Sensing that they needed time alone, and that B’Elanna wasn’t exactly comfortable about talking about her love life in front of her Captain, Kathryn decided to try and attempt an exit.
"Seven, I’m going to go to the bridge and check on things really quickly- that way you and B’Elanna can have a talk in private." Kathryn leaned forward and gently patted Seven’s foot. She could see that the young woman was struggling with letting her go- luckily B’Elanna caught it to.
"It’s alright Seven, I’ll keep you safe. Can you trust me?" Seven looked at the half Klingon closely, assuring herself.
"Yes, I believe I can."
B’Elanna smiled at her, reaching out to squeeze her hand reassuringly. Kathryn was pleased that she had allowed B’Elanna in.
"I’ll be back soon, and if you need to call me, go right ahead." she stood and gave a smile to Seven. She was surprised when a weak smile crawled over Seven’s face in return.

"Captain on the bridge." Chakotay announced as she entered.
"Thank you, Chakotay." Kathryn grinned at his formality "Could I see you a moment in my ready room."
"No problem." Chakotay turned to follow her. Before she could enter tom ran up to them and grasped Kathryn’s arm.
"Is B’Elanna alright in there with Seven? I mean I’m concerned about Seven, too, but did she pick up something on the surface that she might give B’Elanna and make her ill?" she could see he was genuinely concerned.
"She’ll be just fine, Tom, she’s helping Seven out immensely right now. Just give her some time with her." Kathryn patted his hand to reassure him, then turned to go into her ready room where Chakotay was waiting.
"That’s a very successful pair we have there, Chakotay." Kathryn said once they had entered and sat down.
"Oh I could have told you that a long time ago." Chakotay smiled briefly, but it quickly faded. "How is she?"
"Better, somewhat. I asked B’Elanna to come and spend some time with her, and it seems to be going okay. Did you find out what that toxin was?" Chakotay grimaced, and paused before answering.
"Urine." Kathryn looked at him for a long moment.
"He pissed in her eyes?’ she asked in a deadly tone.
"Apparently it’s part of their tradition. . ." he could see Kathryn really didn’t giver a damn, that she’d had enough of this discussion line. "How’s her mental state?"
"I think she’s starting to internally process everything now. She’s very silent, inward, right now, yet very open with her questions to me." Kathryn seemed relieved to not be talking about the alien anymore.
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean? Well I woke up in the middle of the night to her asking me if she was beautiful." A small smile flittered across her lips at the memory.
"Not a difficult question to answer."
"But not a typical Seven question. Chakotay, I’d like to ask a favor of you."
"Name it."
"When she’s ready, I’d like you to come in and see her, just to reassure her that not all males are predatory."
"Are you sure I’d be the best person to do this? Not that I won’t do it, but maybe Harry or Tom. . ."
"No, I thought of you for a specified reason.:" Kathryn stood and started pacing. "Can I present you with a theory, Chakotay?"
"I’m listening."
"I have a feeling, of sorts, that I am like a den mother here, in a way. Maybe I’m falling into the female Captain trap, but I have a real maternal feeling for my crew."
"And I’m the daddy." Chakotay laughed softly, following Kathryn’s thought line.
"It sounds absurd I know, but I think it’s because we’re out here alone, and everyone’s been separated from their loved ones.. . ."
"So we’ve formed our own family." he finished for her.
"So, as the daddy, as you so eloquently put it" Kathryn smiled at him a moment. "I thought you’d be a good person to approach Seven. Plus I think that if Tom or Harry came in she’d be embarrassed later by her reactions to them in her present state. They really all are in the same peer group, you must remember."
"I see your point now." Chakotay agreed. "I’d love to come and visit her then, you just let me know when she’s ready and I’ll be there."
"Thanks" Kathryn sighed.
‘So, Mommy, how are you?" Chakotay joked softly as he stood beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Exhausted." Kathryn admitted. "But hopeful. I thought originally that this would have been a downturn in Seven’s development, but it seems to have brought her out of her shell."
"Thanks to you."
"And to the support around her. It makes me have such faith in this crew as a team then I see them reaching out to her like this and being so supportive in her time of need. Especially B’Elanna."
"Glad you picked us up?" Chakotay joked.
"Glad I picked you all up."

Kathryn returned to her quarters two hours later after a half hour meeting with B’Elanna in the mess hall to talk about what had happened.
"Did she allow you to perform the examination?" Kathryn asked hopefully.
"Yes, with some hesitation, which is to be expected. But I talked her through it, to ease her fears." B’Elanna smiled at Kathryn’s evident concern.
"Thank you so much for being so understanding, B’Elanna. I don’t think I have to tell you how much Seven needs this." Kathryn paused. "So. . .was everything alright then?"
"You did a wonderful job Captain. She was just fine- no permanent scarring. I’m not sure if Seven can have children due to her Borg implants, or even if she wants children for that matter, but her reproductive organs are just fine."
"Seven with kids, hold on while I try to envision that." Kathryn and B’Elanna chuckled softly to themselves. "Well, at least the option is still open to her."
"Yes, she is very lucky, in more ways than just that." B’Elanna laid a hand on Kathryn’s. "Captain. . .Kathryn, I don’t know if you know this, really understand, but the only reason this hasn’t totally destroyed Seven is because of you, because of her trust in you, her. . .well. I think I can honestly say it, her love for you."
"B’Elanna." Kathryn looked at her, face full of disbelief.
"Seriously, I know it may sound a little farfetched and maybe Seven herself doesn’t know it, but I honestly think she loves you. I mean, you are the one that saved her from the Borg, didn’t kill her once she was our captive, respected her free will to make the choice whether to stay here with us. You saved that little girl, Kathryn, you saved Annika Hansen. And you’re her benefactor, her main support. I thought it was a sort of child to mother, captive to saviour sort of love, but I think it’s something much more now"
Kathryn smiled in response, regarding B’Elanna for a moment.
"An interesting theory, my dear. We’ll have to see if it turns out to be true one day."
"Well, you love her too, of course." B’Elanna stated rather matter of factly, sipping her drink. Kathryn looked at her incredulously.
"How did you know?" B’Elanna’s matter-of-fact tone had been knocked by hitting this bulls eye.
"Well, Kathryn. . .You’d have to be blind not to know."
"Love is blind, B’Elanna." she reminded her referring to Seven, then admitted with a smile "Talk about loving the impossible."
"Nothing’s impossible," B’Elanna reassured her. "You taught me that."
"I think. . .I think I felt this way since the start- when she first looked into my eyes. Then when I saw that photo of her as a child- well it took me a while to really realize it, because I never held back with her. But Seven’s not ready, so I’ve kept it internal."
"I don’t think she’s ever been so ready Kathryn. It’s her love for you that she’s cleaving to, that’s keeping her believing in the goodness of humanity."
"But, not now. . ."
"She’ll give you a sign, when she’s ready. But I believe she knows you’re open to it, or at least I hope she knows." she drank the last of her drink and stood to leave. "Go to her now. She only asked for a short while to herself."
Kathryn stood and they embraced warmly. The older woman smiled at her, grasping her hand.
"Thank you again B’Elanna. I’m glad you’re aboard," Kathryn started for the door. "Now go see Tom, he’s worried about you."
And with a wink, she was gone.

*****

Hope
seeing who you really are
at your highest
is who you will become


*****

"Seven?" Kathryn entered her quarters, looking around her. She found Seven at her desk, reading something off Kathryn’s computer console rather intently. She went over to her and stood beside the young woman.
"Earth literature, 1700s to 2000, Seven?" she observed. Seven, who had not really heard Kathryn enter, started abit.
"Kathryn, I’m sorry, I didn’t. . ." she looked up at the older woman, but shied away when their eyes met. "I was just. . .you had mentioned some poets from this time period various times to me and I decided to read up on their works."
"Found anything you like in particular?"
"Blake, Shakespeare. . .and a later poet- e.e. cummings."
"Ah, yes, he’s a favorite of mine." Kathryn began to quote- "somewhere I have never traveled, gladly beyond any experience, your eyes have their silence: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me or which I cannot touch because they are too near."
When she opened her eyes, realizing the truth beyond the quote, she found Seven looking up at her with eyes full of- oh god- full of love. She smiled down at her upturned face, lightly touching her chin.
"How did you know that?" Seven was almost dazed.
"Some poems are ingrained into your soul, Seven." With that Kathryn turned and went to the bedroom, the moment becoming too intense for her.
"I meant how did you know that’s how I feel." Seven said softly to herself. She brought e.e. cummings up again, scanning for the poem Kathryn had quoted from.
Kathryn was in the bedroom rummaging through a drawer, when Seven stood at the door, her face full of actual emotion and quoted in a soft, beautiful voice:
"your slightest look easily will unclose me
though I have closed myself as fingers.
you open always petal by petal, myself, as Spring opens
(Touching skillfully, mysertiously) her first rose."

Kathryn looked up at her standing there, her heart in her eyes, feeling her very being tremble with the immensity of this moment.

"(I do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only that something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses.)"

They stood like this, locked into place by these words, by the emotions.
"Like a mother to a child."
Seven said it so softly that Kathryn barely heard.
Was this the sign? Kathryn wondered. She was so scared at misreading this, at misreading Seven and rushing her into something she wasn’t ready for.
"You need, we need, some rest, Seven." Kathryn said softly. "Come get into bed."
Seven stood there, locked with Kathryn’s eyes for a moment longer, then went over and got into bed. Kathryn went to the dressing room to change.
"Kathryn?" Seven had to know, just to be sure she was safe. "What happened to the-"
"I killed him." Kathryn stood at the room’s door, looking her straight in the eye, then turned away avoiding any further questions.
Seven sat, watching her move about, as this sunk in. Kathryn, whom she’d only known as someone full of mercy, who wouldn’t kill anyone-not even a wayward Borg drone responsible for thousands of assimulations. But she’d killed him- because he had harmed Seven. She’s killed to protect me, Seven thought to herself.
When Kathryn re-emerged, she snuck a look at the younger woman to see herself being regarded silently with big eyes set upon her intently. She couldn’t look at her- so worried that Seven was condemning her for being so cruel and rash. Kathryn herself had been battling with it, but whenever she started all she had to think of was what he had done to Seven and her resolve became rock solid again.
She got into the bed beside her, laying flat on her back, still refusing eye contact. Her eyes had just slowly closed when she felt lips press to hers. She opened her eyes in shock to see Seven’s face bent over hers.
*This* is the sign.
Seven’s face was full of uncertainty and she shyly looked away. But besides all this doubt, Kathryn still felt a hand brush her face, fingertips very light and gentle following her brows, down her nose over her lips, sweeping across her cheekbones. She was pinned to her spot by Seven’s gentle exploration; Kathryn knew she had to give full control to Seven in this situation, that she needed it.
The hand went to her throat and the lips followed. Touched, but never held, her Seven, captive to saviour. . .
 

Some weeks later. . .

When these things happen, when a soul truly loves another soul, time ceases to exist. Hours, days, weeks could have passed, but when Kathryn awoke, she had no idea how long Seven had been with her, how long the young woman had explored every inch of her body and soul. When she finally came to, Seven, still clothed in her nightgown, for Kathryn hadn’t been allowed to return this, all these nights and she had been bound to keeping her hands to herself, was curled up to her body, clinging to her bare skin. Feeling her awaken, Seven looked up into her eyes with such love, and kissed her.
"I want to have one." she said softly.
"One what, love?" Kathryn spoke in a low lover’s tone, daring to raise a hand to the young woman’s face, to caress her cheek, a finger running over her full, swollen lips.
"The peak, what made you so. . .full. Your whole body quivered form it." Seven paused to kiss the questing finger. "I want to have that too."
"It would be my pleasure to give it to you."

*****

Grace
the refinement of a
Soul through time


*****

6 weeks later-
"Are you okay?" Kathryn squeezed Seven’s hand, smiling at her after the turbolift door closed.
"I’m more than okay." Seven answered assuredly.
"I’m very proud of you today, Seven." Kathryn pulled her to her side, kissing her softly.
"I. . .I don’t feel like Seven of Nine anymore, I fell like I’m someone I haven’t been for a long while. I feel like. . ."
"Like Annika?"
Kathryn smiled warmly as Seven nodded, tears shining in her human eye. The doors opened and they were on the bridge. All eyes turned to them and grins followed.
It was Seven’s first day back on duty. Chakotay’s visits had gone extremely well, and all three of them, well four really considering B’Elanna had become very close to them during this time, had agreed that Seven was ready.
B’Elanna had also happily told the crew about the blossoming relationship between Kathryn and Seven. A few had been surprised, pleasantly of course, but many had known it was already there and were waiting for this to happen. One of the many had been Chakotay, who’d been in full support of the relationship.
Seven stepped off the turbo lift and met all the eyes. Kathryn followed her, a hand on Seven’s back for support.
Seeing the welcoming smiles form all the bridge crew, the rather puzzling wink to Kathryn from B’Elanna, the kind face of Chakotay, who’d she’d grown so close to in the past weeks and her love’s supportive presence, Seven did something shocking. She smiled.

*****

Epilogue-

Annika stretched out to her full height in front of Kathryn and B’Elanna, her body tall and proud. She was clothed in a beautiful white cashmere-type dress, long sleeved, knee length, with a pale green and creme tapestry bodice over top. She’d only recently discovered and fallen in love with these late 18th century style bodices; Kathryn loved the way they out lined her trim waist and lifted her breasts up, displayed as such to taunt her, she was sure- not that she needed any more incentive.
Annika’s blond hair lay over her shoulders, free, brushed out by Kathryn that morning during their little morning ritual. Blue eyes shined with love when they looked down at Kathryn. B’Elanna could see this little moment between them telling her she should leave them alone now.
The three of them, along with Tom and Chakotay , had had a lovely lunch in the holodeck in a beautiful program Kathryn had created for Annika. Tom and Chakotay had left earlier for their shifts, but Kathryn had insisted B’Elanna stay so they could talk. But now, she knew these two wanted some time to themselves.
"I better get going." she said, rising to her feet to stand next to Annika.
"Thanks for coming." the blonde embraced B’Elanna warmly.
"Always a pleasure, Annika." she leaned down to kiss Kathryn’s cheek, smiling at her with a wink.
"And the same to you too, B’Elanna." Kathryn said cryptically. B’Elanna laughed.
"Only if he gets off his shift when he’s supposed to."
With a wave, she exited, leaving them alone. Kathryn stretched out, her back against a beautiful old oak tree. Before her was a green meadow, full of flowers of every hue imaginable, a breeze gently caressing them, birds chirping in the trees above them. Annika stood before her, arms out stretched, eyes closed.
"You’re right, I can feel it." she said. " Breathe it in, in my soul."
"Your receptors were just a little blocked before hand, that’s all." Kathryn smiled up at her. Looking down at her love’s eyes, she laid down beside her on the blanket, tucked into Kathryn’s side. Kathryn put an arm around Annika’s shoulder, pulling her close.
"But I still like this better." Annika said. Kathryn smiled, lifting the young woman’s face to kiss her. Annika reached over beside her and plucked a wild flower, picking at its petals as she spoke.
"though I have closed myself as fingers
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens"
"(touching skillfully, mysteriously)" Kathryn interjected, lightly tapping Annika’s nose with a smile.
"as Spring opens her first rose."
"My first rose." Kathryn smiled upon her still, captive to her captive, child to her child.