Being Human
"Absolutely not! It's out of the question!"
There was silence for a full half minute.
"Captain?"
"Kathryn?"
Both the doctor and Chakotay stared at Janeway in surprise. Her
outburst would've been uncharacteristic in any case, but it was
especially so considering subject at hand.
"Captain," the doctor began again, his tone placating, "I can assure
you that I've researched this technique for several months now, and
I think it has an excellent chance of succeeding."
"Yes? And what about her safety?" the captain's tone was rapier
sharp. "I'm not going to let you experiment on a crewmember simply
so you can add your name to some medical journal!"
"Hm, I wonder what name that would be?" Chakotay mused, while
Janeway threw him a dark look which said she didn't appreciate his
levity.
Hologram or not, the doctor looked as hurt as his programming would
allow. "I would never put any crewmember's life at unnecessary risk!"
he replied stiffly. "While there are always risks to any medical
procedure, my simulations have shown a 99.48% chance of success....those
are very good odds, Captain."
"Maybe we should ask Seven what she thinks?" Chakotay put in,
ignoring the second angry look from his superior officer. "After
all, it's her body and her life."
All three of them turned to look at the fourth occupant of the room,
who had remained silent all this time. She looked stared back at
them, clearly shaken by the news.
"Become...human? Entirely? Become....like the rest of you?" Her
usual crisply enunciated speech was uncertain.
"It can be done, Seven," the doctor said excitedly. "I believe we
can re-program the nanoprobes to take over the cell functions of
your body to the extent that they can regrow muscle, skin, even
vital organs. Rather than replacing those functions, they will be
making themselves obsolete! It's using Borg technology against
itself....a sort of reverse process, if you will."
"I would like to examine your research, doctor. As you might expect,
there have been attempts to reverse Borg technology before. I know
of only two species in which it has proven successful, and Homo
sapiens was not one of them." Seven was sounding more like her old
self. "Furthermore, I would like some time to weigh benefits of such
a procedure. As you know, the Borg technology is superior in many
ways to the human body."
"Of course, Seven," the doctor replied immediately. "There is no
rush to this at all. I can start the process - for it will be a
process that takes several months - at any time."
Kathryn Janeway, finding her opinions all but ignored, did her best
not to react as explosively as she felt. "It is far from settled,
gentleman," she said at last through a clenched jaw. "There are many
factors to consider before anything is decided. And while I agree
the decision must ultimately be Seven's, as captain of this vessel I
have to consider all the repercussions involved."
She heard both men murmur something in agreement, but then noticed
Seven looking at her rather intently. Her expression was indefinable,
but her eyes were clearly curious about Janeway's response. In light
of the shock of the doctor's announcement, it was suddenly too much.
Janeway gave a curt nod and left Sickbay without another word.
The captain spent most of the rest of the day in her Ready Room,
where she made it clear she was not to be disturbed. Preparing
reports, usually the bane of her existence, was suddenly a very
welcome occupation. At least it kept her from thinking.
~~~~~
As she expected, Seven sought her out at the earliest opportunity,
which was that evening in her quarters. Kathryn considered not
answering her chime, but decided she'd only be putting off the
inevitable. Drawing a deep breath, she bade Seven enter.
"Captain," Seven acknowledged politely, stepping in and standing in
her usual upright stance near the door.
"Seven," Janeway replied, in a half-humorous parody of her guest. "Can
I help you with anything?"
"I would like to discuss the doctor's proposal."
"Which proposal is that?" Janeway asked with a look of polite
inquiry. Fortunately, Seven's Borg training accustomed her to
avoidance behavior, and she answered without exasperation.
"His idea to eliminate my Borg implants and make me fully human."
"Oh yes. And have you come to a decision?"
"I have not."
"No? Then was there something in particular you wanted to talk about?"
Seven tilted her head slightly and for a moment regarded the captain
with the same curious expression she'd worn earlier in sickbay. Then,
"Kathryn? I would like to discuss this not as captain and
astrometrics officer, but as lovers."
Janeway caught her breath, and her voice softened immediately. "You've
never said that before, Seven. But then I guess we haven't been
lovers that long."
"Twenty-one days, eight hours, and thirty-three minutes," Seven
replied.
"Are you sure?" Janeway asked solemnly. "I thought it was closer to
thirty-four minutes."
"It is an approximation," Seven replied. "And do not change the
subject, Kathryn."
Janeway grinned. "Really, if a woman can't tease her lover, who can
she tease?" She patted the sofa next to her. "Sit down, then."
Once seated, Seven proceeded in her usual direct manner. "Kathryn,
you seemed reluctant to allow the procedure. May I ask why?"
Janeway took a deep breath. "I think I made it pretty clear back
then, sweetheart. I didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize
your safety merely to make medical history. The doctor is
considering it from his point of view and is naturally excited at
the prospect, but as captain of the ship I have to look at it from a
wider perspective."
Seven frowned. "You feel he will take unnecessary risks merely to
experiment with a new procedure?"
"No...not necessarily." Janeway hesitated. "I know he wants what's
best for you. He is just looking at it from a purely medical
viewpoint, that's all."
"And you are not convinced this would be 'best for me'?"
"Well, it's really not my place to say, is it? It is your choice,
after all." Janeway's smile was a little distant.
"Of course it is my choice, but it affects you as well, Kathryn."
Seven paused, somewhat at a loss. Negotiating the emotional
minefield that was required in human interaction was a learning
process for her, and falling in love with her captain proved to be a
crash course. Janeway was usually the tutor she relied on in so many
instances, but for some reason things were different this time. Her
lover was different. "Kathryn? Do you not care what I decide?"
"Of course I care, darling," Janeway reached out to squeeze her
thigh reassuringly. "It's just that....well, I don't think I should
unduly influence your decision."
"I would like to hear your opinion," Seven said simply. "I am
capable of making up my mind based on the factors involved. But you
are one of those factors."
Janeway closed her eyes and rubbed her temple. "Sweetheart? Could we
postpone this discussion for another time? My head is killing me,
I'm afraid."
"Would you like a pain reliever, Kathryn?"
"No....I just need some rest, I think."
Seven's brows knitted. It was evident that Janeway desired her
solitude, but the situation was so....unfinished. In any case, it
was clear to Seven that she'd not be staying the night, as she'd
hoped. She sighed. "Very well, Kathryn. Please let me know when we
can discuss this again?"
"I will, my love. Sleep well." They exchanged a long kiss, then
Seven found herself in the corridor, contemplating the long walk to
Cargo Bay 2. But she didn't feel like regenerating yet; she was
still puzzling over Janeway's behavior.
Perhaps she feels I am being too dependent, the former Borg
hypothesized. Perhaps she is afraid that now that we are lovers, I
will rely on her to an unwelcome degree. Seven frowned. The thought
was disturbing to her. The best way to prove the fallacy of this is
to show her I am still capable of independent analysis. The next
time they met, rather than requesting the captain's point of view,
she would present her evidence in a compelling argument. With
determined nod, Seven made a change in course and headed for the
Astrometric's lab. Her heart was lightened; it was gratifying to be
able to solve the riddles of human behavior on her own.
The next day Janeway seemed back to her normal self. Seven waited
until she could have a moment alone with her in her ready room.
"Come in, Seven," the captain greeted her briskly.
"Captain, I have done some preliminary analysis of the Doctor's
findings, and would like to discuss it briefly with you. Is the
present a good time?"
"Yes, I've been thinking about that, Seven. And I would like to
discuss it with you too," Janeway looked up from her computer and
indicated that Seven should have a seat in front of her.
"You have?" Seven was surprised. She lowered herself slowly into the
chair.
"Yes. And I've decided that, should you find the risks to be within
acceptable parameters, you should definitely go ahead with the
procedure."
"I should?"
"It would be a wonderful opportunity for you, don't you think? To
embrace your humanity, to discover all the things you're capable of?
To rediscover all the things the Borg took away from Annika all
those years ago?" She looked around her desk in a distracted fashion.
"Damn, where did I put that PADD with Tuvok's report on it?"
"Captain, I..."
"Of course, there's no rush," Janeway went on. "You should probably
schedule it during a time when you're not working on anything urgent.
Maybe even during a vacation." She looked up suddenly. "Have you
ever scheduled a vacation, Seven?"
"No, Captain. But..."
"I'll have Chakotay schedule it with you. You are an important
member of the team, but there's no reason why you shouldn't take
some well-deserved time off." She smiled in a kindly fashion. "Now -
was there anything else?"
Seven looked at her, slightly bewildered. She was not normally
reduced to monosyllabic responses, but had not been expecting this
sudden about face.
"You have not heard my analysis, Captain. Would you not like to know
my findings thus far?"
"Of course, please go on." Janeway gestured for her to continue.
"Well, I do believe the doctor is correct in his estimation of the
risk. It appears to be very small."
"Good, good."
"But there will probably be an extended adjustment period. As you
know, I have become somewhat reliant on my implants and the
operation of my nanoprobes in my functioning."
"Yes, that's to be expected, Seven. Which is why I advised a
vacation. Was there anything more?"
"I do believe the mental and emotional adjustments will be even
greater than the physical one," Seven continued, ignoring the hint
of dismissal in her lover's tone.
Janeway stood up suddenly and went to refill her coffee mug at the
replicator. "There will probably be all sorts of adjustments," she
agreed over her shoulder. "But I hope you know that all of Voyager
is here to support you, Seven."
Seven looked over at her captain, her lover, who seemed suddenly
even further away from her than the width of the room. "That is
reassuring, Captain. For I will be needing your support."
"You have it always, Seven. You may be surprised at how much
everyone will rally around you, at how anxious they are to welcome
you into the fold, so to speak." Janeway turned around and smiled.
But somehow, the smile was as impenetrable and smooth as glass. "I'm
truly happy for you, Seven."
Seven had been seeking reassurance from Janeway specifically rather
than from the entire Voyager crew, and she was struggling for a way
to express this when Janeway's commbadge chirped and she was
summoned back onto the bridge. Did Seven imagine the glint of relief
in her eye? For the second time in as many days Seven found herself
walking away from a conversation more confused than when she
started.
Her lover would've been proud of the very human thought which was
going round her mind at the moment: What the hell was going on
here???
~~~~~
There is a reason that the Borg are the most feared species of
several quadrants, and it isn't merely their inability to take "no"
for an answer. The hive mind of the Borg has forged a formidable
intellect, and their analytical ability developed to an almost
overwhelming degree. Seven was no longer Borg, but she'd been
trained by the best. It was this ability that she now focused on the
problem of Kathryn Janeway.
At what point had her lover's behavior changed? From the moment of
her uncharacteristic objection to the doctor's proposal. While it
was true that Janeway's protectiveness toward Seven was not out of
character (a tendency which Seven secretly found reassuring, at
times even arousing), it was not like her to reject something
without listening to all the facts. Then there was the way her
opinion had swung from disapproval to advocacy overnight....very
strange. But most puzzling of all was indefinable distance that had
appeared between them, which thwarted Seven's every attempt at
discussion.
Assuming her actions were deliberate, was there a single factor that
could account for all of them? Anxiety, Seven concluded. Kathryn
feels threatened by the procedure.
Perhaps she was afraid of the very small chance that something would
go wrong, that Seven would die. And yet, Seven did not think the
answer was that straightforward. For one thing, Captain Janeway was
a very complex woman, and her motivation was not always the most
obvious one. It was also clear that she was reluctant to even
discuss the problem with her lover.
She will have to adapt, Seven decided, her full lips firming as her
jaw set in determination. Avoidance is not an option in this matter.
Had Janeway seen her lover's face at that moment, she would've been
reminded of just how much Borg was still left in Seven of Nine,
former Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero One.
It was a salutary lesson, Voyager's captain would reflect ruefully
later, of why "resistance is futile" could've been Seven's personal
slogan as well.
The end?