Your Cheatin’ Heart


Seven of Nine was having a dilemma. She’d recently found out that Captain Janeway was cheating on her with the Irish hologram again, and so she had gone to Lieutenant Torres for advice. B’Ellana had assured her that the best course of action would be to cheat back, and Seven hadn’t argued, but now the ex-drone was beginning to rethink her choice of partners. She sighed. There was nothing she could do to change things now, so she simply laid back and waited for the Commander to finish.

Commander Chakotay climaxed with a loud grunt and slowly rolled off of Seven. She started to get up, but he stopped her by putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her to him. Seven cringed and tried to position herself so as to minimize the amount of body contact. Chakotay took no notice of this and instead smiled smugly at her.

“So, was it good for you too, baby?” he asked with a leer.

Seven frantically searched her internal database of the Doctor’s social lessons for a response that wouldn’t upset him.

“I require a post-coital cigarette. Excuse me,” she replied lamely, squirming away from his grip.

Chakotay frowned. “So you’re telling me that I’m a bad lover, is that it?”

“I did not say that,” Seven replied as she hastily dressed.

“It’s what you meant,” he pouted.

“Excuse me, Commander, but I need to regenerate,” Seven said coolly.

With that, she darted out of his quarters before he could respond.

Seven hadn’t lied to the Commander; she did need a cigarette and an extra-long regeneration cycle. However, those things could wait, because at that moment what she needed the most was a long shower.

A few hours later, she stepped into her alcove, her skin still buzzing from the intensity of the sonic shower. Still feeling rather unclean, Seven started up the regeneration cycle and began to sink into sweet, mind-numbing oblivion.

‘Next time I will wait until Neelix is off-duty,’ was her last thought before she slipped into unconsciousness.

Six weeks passed, and it seemed like everything was back to normal. Janeway and Seven had made up, Michael the Irish hologram had been deleted again, and the whole incident was considered to be over and done with. Unfortunately, this was not the case, as they would all soon find out.

Seven of Nine was just starting her shift in Astrometrics when she received a hail.

“Chakotay to Seven,” came the disembodied voice, sounding oddly strained.

“Seven here,” she replied.

“Report to Sickbay immediately. Chakotay out,” he said.

Seven raised an eyebrow, but decided to follow orders for once.

When she arrived in sickbay, she found Chakotay sitting on a biobed looking pale and confused while the Doctor fussed over him. The two men looked up when she entered, and the Doctor beckoned her over.

“You might want to sit down,” he said as she approached.

“I prefer to stand,” she replied.

“Yes, well…anyway, you’re probably wondering why we asked you to come,” he stalled.

“Yes. Explain,” she replied tersely.

“Of course. Well, Seven, it would seem that Commander Chakotay is…” he paused dramatically, “pregnant. And you’re the –er— father.”

Seven blinked. “Explain,” she repeated weakly.

The Doctor looked helpless. “Er, nanoprobes can do anything?”

Seven glared at the Doctor, but she knew that was the best answer she was likely to get. She glanced over at Chakotay, who had been oddly silent up to this point and seemed to be on the verge of tears.

The Doctor cleared his throat. “There’s more,” he said.

Seven raised an eyebrow.

The Doctor continued, “Since this baby is part borg, the rate of development is much faster than if she were fully human. I anticipate her arrival in about three months.”

“She?” Chakotay spoke for the first time since Seven arrived in Sickbay.

“Yes, Commander, it’s a girl,” the Doctor said, smiling smugly.

Chakotay smiled faintly, but then he seemed to realize something.

“Wait…three months?”

“That’s what I said,” the Doctor replied.

Seven and Chakotay looked at each other, both of them wearing identical expressions of hopeless resignation.

The Doctor sighed. “I’ll just leave you two alone to discuss…things.”

With that, he deactivated himself.

Several hours later, the Alpha shift was over, and Captain Janeway was in her quarters wondering what the hell was keeping Seven. She sighed in frustration. “Computer, locate Seven of Nine.”

“Seven of Nine is in Holodeck One,” the computer intoned.

“The hell?” Janeway muttered as she got up to investigate.

She arrived at the holodeck to find the Sandrine’s program running. She found Seven sitting alone at a table in the back of the bar, glaring into an empty glass as though wondering what it had done with her drink.

‘Oh, shit,’ Janeway internally panicked, ‘All right, damage control.’

“Seven?” she said softly as she approached.

Seven slowly looked up at her, her gaze unfocused and her hair artfully disheveled, but she didn’t say anything.

“Seven? Seven, what’s wrong?” Janeway put her hand on Seven’s shoulder, somehow managing to radiate concern.

Seven hesitated before answering, “I…I have impregnated Commander Chakotay.”

One of Janeway’s eyes twitched. “You did what, now?”

“I have impregnated Commander Chakotay,” Seven repeated.

Janeway started to ask, “How?” but decided that she was probably much happier not knowing. Instead, she asked, “Have you and Chakotay discussed what you’re going to do?”

Seven nodded forlornly. “He is keeping the baby and will have full custody, though I have visitation rights. I must also pay him fifty replicator rations per month in child support.”

Janeway sighed in relief. Fifty replicator rations a month was a small price to pay for not having a kid living with them. She was just about to offer Seven some generic words of comfort when a rather unpleasant thought hit her.

“Seven,” she said, “is there a possibility that you could get me pregnant?”

“I believe so, Kathryn,” Seven replied as she motioned for a holographic waiter to bring her another drink.

“I see,” Janeway said. “Seven, why don’t we pay a little visit to sickbay?”

“For what purpose?”

“Well, judging by the looks of things you’re going to need a hangover remedy,” Janeway replied, her voice full of concern. ‘Well, she will, so it’s not really a lie’ she reasoned quietly.

“Acceptable.”

Seven downed her latest drink in one very efficient gulp and unsteadily got to her feet.

‘Technically, will she be getting spayed or neutered? Hmm…’ Janeway wondered idly as she led her drunken lover out of the bar.

The End.