Chapter 2: Obsession Scanner v2.3

“Argh! Not again!”

For the 4563786th time in a row, Aseawen’s computer didn’t respond to any of her commands and her B’Elanna wallpaper started to flicker. She already knew what was going to happen next. Aseawen sighed:

“3, 2, 1…”

As if on cue, the system crashed. Oh well, she would just have to reboot and…uh oh…

“Huh? What are you doing?” Aseawen yelled at her computer

“what the…ACK! YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT! GOD! ALLAH! BOEHDDA! SANTA CLAUS! HELP ME!”

On the verge of tears she stared at her screen which was emitting the blue glow we all know and fear. After countless times of crashing and rebooting, it had finally happened: The Blue Screen Of Death. Aseawen kept staring, while she felt the blood draining from her face. She was going to have to reinstall windows, all of her programs and there was a good chance that all of her files would be gone without a trace.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” she cried at the broken machine. “Come on B’Elanna, don’t leave me! I NEED…you?”

The hysterical teen abruptly stopped when she saw that she actually got an answer on the screen. It was still blue, but almost like in a chat box, white letters appeared and formed a sentence.

you actually call your computer B’Elanna?”

Aseawen blinked a few times, not sure what to do. Was this some kind of virus or spyware?

hello?” she typed back.

oooooooh, this is fun! Let me try: TESTING! TESTING! ONE, TWO…EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!”

Aseawen raised an eyebrow when the virus ‘screamed’ suddenly stopped talking.

sorry about that,” appeared on the screen a few minutes later. “I knew I should have dropped her off at the Academy first. I’m Q by the way”

This is getting weirder by the minute, she thought. But what am I’m going to do? Call the helpdesk? ‘Hi, my computer has been infected with a virus. It calls itself Q and…what? You want to know what type of virus it is? Hold on a minute, I’ll ask’. The only thing she would get was going to be a one-way ticket to nutsville.

who or what are you?” she typed.

Sigh… that’s what you get from spending all of your time behind this primitive excuse for a monitor, it melts your brains”

who or what are you?” she repeated a bit annoyed. First, this virus made her computer crash and now it was mocking her?

I already told you, Q is my name, omnipotence is my game and I’m here to take a look at your fanfiction”

Aseawen rolled her eyes. This virus was very intelligent but the creator was obviously not. Like she would believe that Q from Star Trek Voyager had infected her computer. Uh huh…

Before she could respond, a new window opened.

OBSESSION SCANNER V2.3

“uh oh…” she mumbled.

SCANNING…SCANNING…SCANNING… SCANNING…SCAN COMPLETE

now let’s take a look at the results…hmm…Mary Sue levels: low… impressive!”

Aseawen frowned at the strange compliment.

OOC-ness level: low, disclaimers: only three missing! Very good, unlike some humans I’ve met before”

hmmmpf…”

just ignore her. Now, where were we… ah yes, couples! J/C: 4 files, J/7: 0 files, T/P………”

She looked at the screen, but Q, or whatever it was, had stopped typing and that other person was back.

hello? New Zealand girl? It’s me again”

what happened to Q?”

he fainted”


 

A/N: Yes, a bit short but don’t worry, the next one will be longer and you will get to see Star Trek Academy! By the way, I still need more students. I forgot to put my mail in my profile before, but it’s fixed now. E-mail me, and I will send you an “application form”, lol!
Aseawen: sorry for making you look like a complete moron but I could not resist, please forgive me! (gives Aseawen a box of authentic Dutch chocolate sprinkles as a peace offering)