“You made it just in time, how was your trip?”

“Fine, thank you mom…” Doec mumbled, while her left eyebrow twitched.

“Now you just follow no-name ensign nr. 162, he will take you to your table”

Out of nowhere (they always seem to do that for some reason), ensign nr. 162 appeared. He was not handsome, but not ugly either. Just average, as most no-name ensigns tend to be. After what seemed like an hour, they finally got to their table. A few people were sitting at it already, and appeared to be arguing about something.

“Nuh-uh!” a girl with short, blondish-red hair shouted. “Chakotay and Janeway totally have the hots for each other and you know it!”

“Forget it!” another girl with brown hair just past her shoulders fumed “haven’t you ever seen ‘the Q and the Grey’? The sexual tension between Q and the Captain could almost be cut with a knife back then! No way ‘Chuckles’ is going to stand a chance against that simply gorgeous omnipotent!”

“ACK! You take that back right now!”

“MAKE ME!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!”

Everyone looked at the two girls that were now on the floor, pulling at each others hair and arguing about the Captains love life.

“Oh, don’t mind them” one of the other girls at the table said. “They’ve been at it since we got here”

“Yannik’s right,” a second girl nodded. “just ignore them”

“Hey KayB!” the blond girl yelled “who’s side are you (pant) on! Get over here!”

“ha, give it up honney862002! (pant) Calling for help isn’t going to (pant, pant) do you any good! Just admit that (pant) Q and Kathy are made for each other!”

“Uhg (pant)…NEVER!”

“honney862002! Istarwyn!” a male voice suddenly spoke “break it up, or you’re spending your first night on Voyager in the brig”

The two students froze, forgetting all about their fight-to-the-death-or-until-someone-gets-bored, when they saw who was standing behind them.

“Did he hear us?” Istarwyn whispered

“God, I hope not” honney862002 whispered back

“Hear what?” Chakotay asked

“NOTHING!” they both shrieked

“Well, keep it down, the Captain’s about to make an announcement” he said, as he walked away and disappeared behind the bar.

“I haven’t seen you guys here before, I’m Yannik”, the oldest girl said, “and this is KayB”

They all exchanged names and shook hands.

“You all got picked up my Q?” Aseawen asked

“Most of us are, except for honney862002 and KayB, they got picked up by Q2”

“Lucky basta-”

Darkninga’s grumbling was cut short by Captain Janeway, who was standing on some sort of podium behind a level 10 forcefield.

“Now why do I get the feeling she doesn’t trust us?” Istarwyn joked

“Welcome to Voyager!” the Captain said, while trying not to look too nervous in front of the hundreds of obsessed students.

“OMGYOURETHECOOLESTIWUVYOU!” a girl sitting at the bar suddenly shouted, but was dragged away by security before she had a chance to jump her.

“Right…” Janeway coughed. “Before you will be presented with your duty roster, I would like to lay out a few ground rules”

She held out a data pad and started reading out loud.

“Rule no. 1: unless the Doctor decides otherwise, you will have to attain all classes

Rule no. 2: all critical areas are off limits unless you are accompanied by one of the senior staff.

Rule no. 3: stalking me, or members of my crew is not allowed

Rule no. 4: students will have a limited supply of replicator rations and one hour of holodeck time a week. There will be a schedule, but you are allowed to swap turns with a fellow student if you both desire to do so”

Rule no. 5: in case of an emergency, you will return to your quarters and await further instructions.”

At this point, the entire messhall was buzzing.

“Uhm… Captain?” someone asked. “What kind of emergencies are we talking about here?”

“I’ll answer that one!”

Everyone gasped when Q suddenly appeared on the stage and froze the Captain, Chakotay and the other members of the crew in time. Literally! They were all covered in a thin layer of ice, unable to move.

“You see class, the Delta Quadrant is a very dangerous place. Any time now, a Vidiian ship might pop up, or the Borg decide they want to add a few new members to their collective! And of course, there’s the Kazon, Hirogen hunters and maybe even a couple of…

“Dude, that makes no sense at ALL!” SuperSanne objected. “You got everything mixed up!”

Q grinned in a way that made her blood run cold.

“You are absolutely right!”

“Huh?”

“This is a academy! You’re not just here to beg your teachers for autographs but you will be hitting the boo…I mean, datapads, (he coughed) and there will be tests you have to take”

“Huh?”

“Don’t you get it?”

“Not really”

“The reason why I ‘mixed everything up’ is to make sure you don’t know what is going to happen!” he said in a cheery voice, like he was telling them they had just won the lottery. “And you know what the best part is?”

“Do we want to know?”

“The crew thinks that this is all normal and they won’t believe you no matter what you say! Any questions?”

“Uhm…Q?” a boy in the back raised his hand

“Yes?”