Chapter 7: Talaxian cuisine
“R-really, she’s not here!”
“Don’t play games with me Vorik!” Aseawen threatened, as she stalked closer to the Vulcan.
“B’Elanna is in Cargobay Two, helping Seven repair her alcove,” he stammered. “She should be back any…”
“That’s okay” she said, “I’ll just wait…ooooh! Is that the warpcore?”
“Well…”
“SPIFFY! How does it work? Can you show me how to turn it on? Huh? Canya? Canya? Canya?”
Vorik just blinked at the hyperactive authoress, who was now bouncing through engineering.
“What does this button do? And this one? And this one over here?”
“Aseawen,” a male voice suddenly said. “Stop what you are doing”
“TUVOK?”
“That is correct”
“What are you doing here?”
“As chief of security, it is my duty to keep…”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” she interrupted him. “Have you seen B‘Elanna?”
“Lieutenant Torres has no time for obsessed fans”
“HEY! I’m not obsess…DON’T YOU ROLL YOUR EYES ON ME VORIK!”
Tuvok sighed
“Aseawen, please release ensign Vorik and step away from that console”
Just as Aseawen was about to say something that would make this fic’s rating go trough the roof, a certain chief engineer walked in.
“I can’t believe Captain Janeway is letting those (something Klingon the translator is unable to process) students just walk around the…”
She stopped her ranting when she saw what was going on.
“Tuvok, what are… hey! Who are you?”
“…”
“What are you doing in MY engineering?”
“…”
B’Elanna frowned at the student, who was just blinking and opening and closing her mouth like a fish.
“Lieutenant,” Tuvok said in a low voice “don’t make any sudden moves”
“IEEEEEEEEHIEEEIIEIEIEEIIEEEEEEEEEEHIEEEE!” Aseawen snapped out of her trance “OMG! OMG! OMG! B’ELANNA! ICANTBELIEVEITSREALLYYOUOMGWILLYOUPLEASESIGNMYB’ELANNAPOSTERORMYB’ELANNATSHIRTORJUSTMYFOREHEADILLBEREALLYCAREFULLWHENIWASHMY…”
“Tuvok!” the startled half-Klingon shouted, “get this…this PETAQ off my back!”
“Does that mean that you’re not going to sign my…HEY! LEMMEGO! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!”
“There are times…” B’Elanna sighed as she leaned against a wall, “I wish the Vidiians had already found us”
Meanwhile in SuperSanne’s and Istarwyn’s room…
“Lasagne…lasagne…LASAGNE!” SuperSanne shouted at the Evil Replicator of Doom. It had been almost 40 minutes now and they hadn’t even been able to even replicate a glass of water.
“Maybe we should read the manual again…” Istarwyn tried
“If this thing isn’t going to work in the next five minutes, I’m going to EAT the manual!” SuperSanne growled.
“Let me try… coffee, black!”
(crickets chirping in the background)
“I don’t get it! I did it exactly like Captain Janeway on TV! It has to be…”
“Attention all students!” an eerily happy Talaxian voice suddenly boomed over the comm. “As some of you might have already noticed, the replicators are off-line. Do not worry, they will be working again by tomorrow morning”
SuperSanne and Istarwyn both felt the blood draining from their face. They did not liked where this was going…
“As your chief morale officer, I thought it might be a good idea to get to know each other a little better and that’s why I have prepared a special banquet! You will be transported to the messhall at 1800, be sure to bring your appetite!”
A series of gulps and groans could be heard all over the ship, because even the ‘just moderate’ fans knew what Neelix meant by a ‘special banquet’.
“It’s official:” SuperSanne sighed. “we’re going to die…”
Aseawen grinned as she was escorted back to her quarters by Tuvok and a few redshirts. After giving him her most innocent smile, promising to neeeeeeeeeveeeer do it again, he reluctantly decided not to throw her in the brig. However, she would not give up so easily. Oh no, far from it! If Voyagers ‘head chief of grumpiness’ thought that he could keep her from getting that autograph, he was wrong. Very wrong…
“MHUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
“Ms Aseawen, are you alright?” Tuvok asked
“Uhm…yeah, (cough) sorry about that”
30 minutes later…
Darkninga was barely able to hold her lunch, when she saw the big bowl of Alfarian hairpasta standing on the buffet table. The others weren’t fairing much better, gulping at the sight of Leola root stew, Jelly a la Neelix, and a gigantic plate full of sticky, blue…erm… well, they weren’t sure what it was.
“Well?” Neelix asked Yannik, who looked a bit greenish, “Aren’t you going to eat something?”
“Thank you, but…I’m not hungry…”
“Aw, nonsense!” He chirped. “Here, try this!”
He gave her a bowl filled with a thick, brown, muddy substance.
“It’s Plomeek soup, a traditional Vulcan recipe”
“Hey that looks good!” SuperSanne smiled, “I think we’ll have that as well, right guys?”
The others just blinked at her, when she took a few extra bowls, and picked out an empty table.
“Yuk! I’m not touching this stuff, it looks like sewer water!” Darkninga protested
“Look guys,” SuperSanne said, “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving and I think this is the safest thing to eat”
“Why?”
“Because its Vulcan. They’re vegetarians, so we don’t have to be afraid that ‘something’ in our soup isn’t dead yet and attacks us. Besides that, Vulcans are the most boring race in the universe, so I don’t think the vegetables or spices will pose much of a health threat either”
“There is just one thing bothering me,” Darkninga said.
“What?”
“Isn’t Plomeek soup supposed to be clear and watery?”
They all stared at their ‘soup’. No one said a word, afraid that if they made a sound, the others would assume that the person in question was offering herself as a guinea pig.
“Doec?” SuperSanne suddenly spoke.
“Yeah?”
“I think you should try it first”
“Huh?”
“Well, you’re the oldest, so you will have to sacrifice yourself for the group”
“Hey, wait a minute! It was your idea to get this stuff!”
“Your point?”
Doec was about to tell SuperSanne what she could do with her Plomeek soup, until honney862002 suddenly closed her eyes shut, took her bowl with both hands and gulped the horrible concoction down before the two squabbling authoresses could even blink.
“Dude, I can’t believe you did that!” KayB gasped in awe.
“Neither can I,” she murmured, “but…it’s good!”
“It is?”
“Yeah...” she said yawning, “you should try it, it tastes like…a little bit of everything”
KayB took a closer look at her roommate.
“Are you okay?”
Honney862002 yawned again and fell asleep with her head in KayB’s soup.
“So…” Aseawen said after a long and painful silence. “Anyone up for some Leola root stew?”