Chapter 15: But that’s barbaric!
“GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE PUNKS!”
The students dashed through the corridors at top speed, but the angry Betazoid followed them in hot pursuit.
“EEEEEK! I’m too young to die!” Doec panicked. “There’s still so much I want to do!”
“Me too!” SuperSanne cried. “If Suder catches us, I’ll never get to watch Deep Space Nine!”
They continued running (and knocking over random redshirts in the process) until they bumped into a very familiar figure, who happened to be on his way for a visit to the Captain.
“Q! Oh boy, am I glad to see you!” Istarwyn tried to hug him.
“Don’t even think about it!” the omnipotent warned and materialized a restraining order out of nowhere. “What are you students doing here? Aren’t you supposed to have exobiology now?”
“We were, until our teacher decided that he wanted to dissect us!” Darkninga exclaimed.
“And just what exactly did you do to him?” Q asked with a frown.
“Nothing!” everyone started laughing sheepishly. “Except for poking fun at his hologram…”
“…Making perverted comments…”
“…Falling asleep during his class…”
“…Screaming in his face…”
“…Wrecking the furniture…”
“…Throwing Doritos at his head…”
“…But other that that, everything was perfectly fine until he suddenly snapped and went Freddy Krueger on us!”
If Star Trek Voyager had been an anime, Q would’ve sweatdropped. Instead, he sighed and glared at them one by one.
“Alright, I’ll help out, but JUST this once and you have to understand that I will have to report this”
“Yes! Yes! Just get us out of here!” they all yelled at him.
“Eh?” Slayer blinked. She looked around and realized that she was no longer running from Suder or talking to Q. Instead, she and the others were standing in front of a desk that looked very familiar.
“Hey, what happened?” Yannik asked slightly dazed.
“I dunno…” Aseawen rubbed her eyes. “I think Q switched scenes or something”
“That would explain the gap in my memory…”
Their conversation was interrupted by the chime of the doors opening. When they saw who had entered, all hell broke loose.
“Oh… my… God….!”
“No way…”
“Are you really…?”
The woman gulped nervously at the students who looked like they were going to pounce at her any second. So fast that they could barely follow, she literally leaped behind her desk, hit a button and erected a forcefield. It was not a minute too soon…
“Wow, Captain Janeway!” KayB squealed. “I can’t believe it’s you! Can I have your auto… OWW!” she tried to glomp the poor woman, but was flung back by the forcefield. Janeway looked relieved, but still nervous.
‘Wow, I’ve never seen her so jumpy on TV before,’ Sikar thought. ‘Then again, I’d also rather go a couple of rounds against Species 8472 than having to be the Captain of a ship filled with rabid fangirls’
Janeway coughed to get everyone’s attention, and sat down on her chair. She folded her hands in that typical Janeway-manner of her and looked at the students.
“It has come to my attention that there have been some serious incidents during Lon Suder’s class. His behaviour was unacceptable and therefore he has been thrown into the brig.”
“Good riddance!” Darkninga huffed. “That moron tried to kill us!”
“However,” the Captain continued with a sharp tone, “Q has told me about your share in the so-called ‘Dorito Disaster’ and you are going to have to take responsibility for your actions. I will …”
“Beam us onto the nearest M-class planet?” Firebirdgirl guessed.
“Revoke your Holodeck and replicator privileges for three weeks”
“No Holodeck for three weeks? I can handle… WHAT? NO REPLICATOR?” she screeched in horror.
“You mean we have to go without food for 21 days? That’s barbaric!” Yannik protested.
“You can eat in the messhall until your punishment is over”
“I’d rather starve than having to touch Neelix’ idea of food again,” Honney shivered. “Can’t you just drop us off at the nearest Borg Cube and put us out of our misery?”
The captain narrowed her eyes and scowled at them. On her face was not just any look, but the famous JanewayTM look. The one that has “get out now or I’ll kick your ass all the way back to Starfleet Headquarters” written all over it.
“You will not have access to the Holodeck or your replicators for three weeks, and that’s final. Dismissed!”
“Damn…”
The students sat together at a table in the messhall. It was only 15.00, but they needed a few hours to build up courage for dinner. Also, since they had the rest of the day off, they figured that they might as well do their homework together.
“So… what is our homework anyway?” Aseawen asked.
“Well, until Tuvok has reviewed our romance fics, we only have our OC-development assignment from Seven to worry about,” Sikar answered. “It says here on my PADD that we have to think of our own Original Character and write a detailed description of their personality, race, job and so on”
“How do you know that? I thought you were in quarantine during that class!”
“The Doctor gave it to me”
“I bet you wouldn’t fall asleep during Seven’s lessons…” she grinned mischievously.
“Ehehe… let’s start on that assignment now!” he quickly changed the subject and reached for his PADD. A few minutes later, all the students were busy trying to think of the best OC ever since the Big Bang. Needless to say, it was easier said than done.
“Let’s see…” SuperSanne mused. “T-pel is going to be a half Vulcan, half Betazoid, half Klingon-human hybrid with the power to see…”
“You can’t have four halves! That would be, like, two persons!” Istarwyn laughed.
“Thy shall not question my creativity!” SuperSanne glared, while clutching the PADD protectively to her chest. “Besides that, T-pel has a very complex background!”
“Hey, what about my character?” Feathergriffin asked. “Maela is a handsome Vidiian scientist who has been training his whole life to master the secret art of…”
“Handsome?” Slayer interrupted. “The Vidiians are just about the ugliest race in the galaxy because of that disease!”
“That’s because he doesn’t have the Phage”
“Why not?”
“Well… just because”
“Because what?”
“… Artistic licence”
“Hello there!” Neelix suddenly chirped, causing them all to almost jump out of their skins. The Talaxian had the rather annoying habit of magically appearing out of nowhere, and so far, no one had been able to find out exactly how he did it.
“You students have really been going at it since you’ve been here, so I brought you some refreshments,” he said while placing a tray on the table. The group eyed the drinks with great suspicion, hoping that the liquid would not jump out of the glasses and merge into a single giant flesh eating blob that would wipe out half the quadrant. Hey, it could happen!
“It’s orange juice,” the Talaxian stated with a flat face.
The students, slightly embarrassed, grabbed their drinks.
“I heard you have to create your own character for Seven’s class,” he started. “If you need some advice, I might have a couple of ideas that work! How about this: a young Talaxian merchant who stumbles upon a starship and…”
“Don’t worry Neelix,” Aseawen cut him off. “I already have the coolest OC in the history of… well… OCness!”
She picked up her PADD and proudly handed it to the alien.
“El-banna Sorret,” he read out loud, “is the most beautiful, intelligent, gifted, charismatic, friendly, and overall talented Klingon-human hybrid in this side of the galaxy, even though she is not nearly as great and superior as my most favourite…”
Neelix raised an eyebrow and handed the device back to Aseawen.
“Aren’t you going to keep reading?” she asked innocently.
“Well… I… oh, would you look at the time? I think I’ll leave you to your work now, goodbye!”
And with that, he hurried back to his galley.
“Wow, what’d you think got into him all of the sudden?” she wondered, but the others wisely pretended not to have heard…