Never Lose Affection

A year can change a person a great deal. Especially when one was still learning what is it to be a person. Seven of Nine was no different. She had underwent a large number of changes in the past eleven months-many steps to being more human. Her language skills, while still carrying the same near-monotone, had developed largely. The crew had helped her with increasing her vocabulary. Seven was everyday becoming more skilled when it  came to emotions.  

"Did you find them?" She was also developing the human ability to be disorganized. "No, Seven, I haven't seen them."  Seven emerged from the bathroom, carefully toweling off the left side of her face. She patted the metal over her left eye dry, and dropped the towel on the floor. Janeway was brushing out her hair, uniform jacket strewn over the back of the chair. "Where would they be?" Seven wondered, looking around. "Wherever you left them," Janeway quipped. Seven smirked at her. "Very helpful," she said. Her grey robe billowed as she hunkered to the floor and looked under the bed. "Not there." "You're getting to be worse than me," Janeway set the brush down and got to her feet. "I'll try to not take that as an insult," Seven sighed. Janeway grinned, and pulled on her uniform top. Seven looked at Janeway's feet. "You are certain you're not wearing my shoes?" "My heels are an inch shorter," Janeway laughed. "And anyhow, you have four pairs of black heels. What's so special about these?" "That is a good point," Seven said, perplexed. "But I still would like to know where they are." "I'm sure you'll find them." Janeway checked herself in the mirror again. Seven looked hurt. "You're not going to help me find them?" "I've already looked for them. And I have to be on the Bridge in ten minutes." "Alright," Seven shrugged, and gave Janeway a quick kiss before retreating back into the bathroom to continue her shoe search. "Don't be late for duty, Seven," Janeway called from the doorway. "You too, Kathryn," Seven's voice floated back.  

"More empty space," Janeway sighed as she looked at the readings from the Astrometrics Lab. "That's what the stars say," Chakotay sighed. Janeway huffed a laugh. "Next report," she said, setting down the padd and taking another from the Commander. "Engineering report," Chakotay leaned back in the chair. "Same old, same old?" Janeway asked. "That about sums it up," Chakotay said. "I'll read it later then," Janeway decided, and picked up her coffee mug. "Anything else of importance?" "Nothing really," he looked through a few other padds. "Is Lt. Jenkins' baby over that whooping cough yet?" Janeway wondered. "Yes, the Doctor finally got them to stop," Chakotay nodded. "That's good," she said, drinking from the mug. She looked out of the corner of her eye, and laughed. "What?" "Nothing," Janeway stuttered. "If that's all, you're dismissed." "Aye, Captain," Chakotay grinned, collecting the padds and exiting the room. Once he was gone, Janeway went over to the couch, bent down, and picked up Seven's shoes from under the furniture.  

"Seven? Are you home?" Janeway called idly as she entered their quarters. Janeway's actually, but for the past few months Seven had slowly claimed them as her own too. "In here," Seven called. Janeway found her at Janeway's desk. "I found your shoes," Janeway greeted her. "Where?" "In my ready room," Janeway said, setting the shoes in the closet. "What are you reading?" "An Engineering report," Seven replied. "It seems to me that nothing is happening on Voyager." Janeway grinned, "And you'd rather there be a crisis?" Seven's brow raised. "I did not mean that," she said, "but, for example, I believe that Lt. Torres is becoming bored with Engineering reports." "What do you mean?" Seven picked up the padd and read off of it. "'While I wrote these pages, or rather, the bulk of them, I lived alone in my quarters on a starship 56 thousand light years from home, with only my husband and child for company.'" Janeway smirked, "At least she's gotten better at quoting." "Better?" "Better than Tom, at least," Janeway laughed as she unzipped her jacket and tossed in to the dirty clothes pile. "'I am reporting as I float along listlessly on this endless sea of passion.'" "I see," Seven said, putting the padd down. "And you're right, things are getting a little dull," Janeway sat down on the bed in the other room and pulled her boots off, "It almost seems that a baby has to be born on this ship for something interesting to happen." "How so?" "Well, when Lt. Jenkins had her baby, we lost transporters and an away team got stuck on that rain-planet. And when Lt. Torres had her baby, power conduits blew on decks 5 through 7." "I remember that," Seven with a smile. "And when Ensign Ramirez-" Seven stifled a groan, "Please do not remind me what happen when she gave birth." Janeway laughed. "Fine, I won't. But do you see my point?" Janeway stalked barefoot back into the other room. "Yes, I do." Janeway stared thoughtfully at Seven for a moment. "Seven?" "Yes?" She smiled up at Janeway. "Did you ever think about having children?" Seven blinked in confusion. "What do you mean, Kathryn?" "Well... I know how little girls always played house where I came from. Pretended they had families. Did you?" Her gazed focused squarely on Seven. "I cannot remember," Seven said apologetically. "Is it important that I remember?" "Not necessarily," Janeway shrugged lightly, "It might just be that you never did that as a child." "Perhaps." Janeway sunk into the couch across from the desk. "Kathryn, I am curious as to your reasoning for that question." "I was just wondering, that's all," Janeway said softly. Seven looked curiously at Janeway from her seat behind the desk. "Did you ever wish to have a child?" Janeway looked up, her eyes wide. She flushed. "I...Seven..." Janeway looked back down at her hands. "As a matter of fact, yes. But my position here on Voyager hasn't really allowed it." "It hasn't?" Seven echoed softly. "No," Janeway said. She looked up at Seven. "But whenever a child is born on Voyager, I feel that urge again... but I have to ignore it." "Why?" "I just... do, Seven." Seven rose out of her seat, and rounded the desk. "But why? I fail to see any reason for you not to be able to have a child." "Seven, you don't just 'have a child'," Janeway sighed. "In order for a women to get pregnant she must... must..." "Have a male partner?" Janeway looked up. "Yes, that's it." Seven sat next to Janeway. "And... because you do not have a male partner, you cannot have a child?" "I suppose that's one way of putting it." Seven studied her speculatively for several minutes. "Actually, Kathryn, I believe you are incorrect." Janeway blinked. "How so?" "All that is required to produce a child is a sperm, an egg and a womb for the fertilized egg to grow in. Possibly not even the womb is needed." Seven stared at Janeway, fixated on this new possibility. "If you have the egg, and the womb... all that you need is the sperm." Janeway swallowed at Seven's bluntness. "And did you have anyone in mind?" "Commander Chakotay would be the obvious choice." Janeway swayed in surprise, her face paling. "What would make you say that?" "You and he are friends, and previously had a relationship." "True... but..." Janeway blinked. "When was the decision made that I was going to have a child." "I am not certain," Seven admitted. "But I see no reason not to." Janeway paused. The crew as a whole had a hard enough time originally accepting she and Seven's relationship. How would they react to this? She rubbed her nose. "Having a child is a big decision, Seven," Janeway stalled. "I'd need time to think about it. You should think about it too." Seven nodded. "I will, if you will," she said, her brow raising. Janeway forced a smile. "Well then... lets sleep on it, shall we?" "'Sleep on it'?" "Wait until morning to make this decision," Janeway substituted. "That will be suitable." Seven's hand gently touched Janeway's cheek. "You can have all the time you need, Kathryn."  

"I'll be in Holodeck Two if you need me for any reason," Lt. Moretta stood up from the couch. "I'm a big boy, I promise I'll be good," Chakotay laughed and kissed her. "Have fun Alex." Moretta returned the kiss. "I will." She departed from their shared quarters, and Chakotay went over to the replicator and got himself a glass of water. Only a few minutes had passed before the door chimed. "Come in," Chakotay called, setting the water down and rising from his seat on the couch. The doors to he and Moretta's quarters parted, to reveal Janeway standing there with her hands clasped primly behind her back. "Kathryn," Chakotay greeted her with a slight tone of surprise. "What brings you around here?" "My quarters are only next door, Chakotay," Janeway smiled. Chakotay returned the look and flushed. "True. But... its been awhile." "I know." Janeway looked around idly. Buying time. "So... I assume you had a reason for stopping by." Janeway looked sharply at Chakotay. Her chest rose and fell slowly, her fingers threading and un-threading themselves in her lap. She did everything that she could in order to avoid his gaze. Finally though, after what seemed to Chakotay like a period of deep thought Janeway turned to look at him again. She clasped his hand, the way she once had. When they had still been together. "Chakotay, I need to ask something of you." Janeway's tone was so somber-so serious, that he swallowed apprehensively and turned widened eyes on her. "What is it?" he asked softly. "I've been thinking," Janeway spoke slowly, her back stiffly straight. "Seven and I were speaking a few nights ago. And a subject came up that I've been pondering for some time now." Her blue eyes raised to meet his, and she drew a shaking breath. "Seven and I... we want to have a child." At first, it didn't fully register to him. But a dull nagging, paranoid feeling was scrambling in the back of his mind. He blinked at her. "Kathryn?" And then, like a blow to the head, he realized what she was implying. It took all his will-power to remain seated. "You.. want me to be the father?" After another moment of quiet, Janeway nodded. "Yes, Chakotay. That's what I've come to ask you." Chakotay rubbed the side of his face. "Uh.. Well, I'd have to think about it, Kathryn." "I understand," Janeway replied. She released his hand, having not realized that she had nearly cut the circulation off to his fingers. She flushed. "When..." "In a day or so. I might need to talk to Alex about this," Chakotay stuttered quietly. "I understand," Janeway faintly doubled. "Um... well, I'll be going then.." Chakotay looked as if he wanted to speak, but just nodded. "I'll speak with you later."  

"She wants you to what?!" Alex shrieked. "Alex! Calm down!" Chakotay was defending himself. "That bitch!!" Alex raged. "I don't care if she is the captain! Who the hell is she to interfere with our relationship?! Who the hell is she to be asking you that?!" "Alex, will you please calm down!" Chakotay grabbed Lt. Moretta by the wrists. She wriggled briefly in his grasp, but then stopped. She breathed heavily, her shock of red hair flowing angrily around her. "You don't mean to tell me that you're actually thinking about agreeing to this!" Alex hissed. "I'm not sure yet," Chakotay said. "Oh.. This is just wonderful," she huffed. "I mean, she dumped you a year ago for that Borg slut, and now she wants you to fuck her so she can have a kid! Could you please explain why you would ever agree to that? Are you out of your goddamned mind?!" Alex continued yelling. "I mean geez, how can you think that is right on her part in the least?" "I'll admit it's an unusual request," Chakotay said, his voice high and strained, "but she didn't ask it like that." "And how did she ask then?" "As a friend." "Oh, su-" Chakotay cut her retort off with a quick kiss, and released her. "Alex, you're just going to have to accept that this is my decision!" "And what about us?" "I don't see how this should affect our relationship." "Well, it does!" "How?" "How am I supposed to be able to live with this? Every time I look at that kid, its going to remind me..." "Of what?" Chakotay frowned softly. "Of her. Janeway. That you used to love her. And that you probably still do." Chakotay paused. "I suppose you're right. But I love you too, Alex. And this wouldn't change that fact." "You'd probably want to be its father-figure though," Alex said softly, looking away. "Only if I'm asked to be. There's no real way of knowing how this might turn out." Alex studied Chakotay's face quietly for several minutes. She sighed deeply. "I suppose this means you're going to say yes," Alex said, the fight gone from her voice. Chakotay took her hands gently. "I believe it does." Alex looked up at him. "Just promise me that this won't tear us apart?" Chakotay's eyes burned and he pulled Alex into a hug. "I promise," he breathed softly into her hair.  

Janeway emerged from her bedroom, still wearing her uniform from her duty shift earlier. "So, are you ready?" Her eyes darted up to his. "Are you?" "Yes, I think so," Janeway smiled. "Where's Seven?" Chakotay glanced around again. "She's already in Sickbay." "In... Sickbay?" "Yes," Janeway took Chakotay by the elbow and lead him to the door. "We found a more simple way of doing this." "Doing... this. You mean getting you pregnant?" "You make it sound so crude, Chakotay," Janeway laughed slightly. Chakotay's brows rose fractionally. "I do?" Janeway laughed again, "Yes." "So.." They exited Janeway and Seven's quarters and started for Sickbay. "..what is this 'simpler way' of... impregnating you?" Janeway broke into a reluctant grin. "Instead of what you were thinking, I'm going to be artificially inseminated." "Oh." "It's much less complicated this way, I believe," Janeway continued. "Well... yes, I suppose it would be." "This doesn't bother you, does it?" "Less than it would have otherwise," Chakotay quipped. Janeway patted his arm. "Thank you," she whispered to him. They entered Sickbay a few minutes later. Seven was sitting on a biobed, and looked up at their entrance. "Captain, Commander." The Doctor greeted them. "Captain, would you like to change into a Sickbay robe?" "Is it necessary?" Janeway asked. The Doctor looked thoughtful. "Only if you feel that it is." "I don't," Janeway replied sternly. The Doctor nodded. "As you wish. Please-" "Doctor, if I may interrupt..." "Go ahead, Seven." Seven came up to Janeway, and clasped her hands. "Kathryn, I have giving this matter some thought." Janeway paled slightly. "And?" "I wish to have a part of this," Seven spoke with a soft determination. "You will be part of this," Janeway countered. "No." One of Seven's hands let go, and rest on Janeway's belly. The older woman looked down, and then realized what Seven meant. Seven repeated her previous statement. "I wish to have a part of this." In the background Chakotay shifted nervously from foot to foot, but it went unnoticed. Janeway turned to the Doctor. "Doctor, is it possible for.." her voice trailed off as she found herself unsure as how to word it. He nodded. "I believe I may have a solution. Much like in a normal fertilization when the joining of a certain sperm with the egg is purely chance, I can introduce the commander's semen with a mixture of both of your eggs." Seven looked back at Janeway. "Is that acceptable?" "Yes," Janeway nodded with conviction. "Than if you all will please ly down, we'll be able to begin."  

"Well?" Janeway's voice rang out with a slight quavering. The Doctor looked up from the lab station. Seven and Chakotay had since departed for their duty shifts, but the Doctor had required the Captain to remain in Sickbay. "I believe that we've had success," the Doctor said with a smile. "It might be too soon to tell, but I believe that there are five fertilized eggs in the culture." "It's been... what, eight hours? You can't tell?" "I can tell, Captain. But I am not sure whether or not your womb will take any other them yet." The Doctor's gaze returned to the work in front of him. "How much longer?" Janeway asked. "Not much," the Doctor assured her. "In fact, if you would like, I can insert three of the eggs now, and keep the others in stasis. Then we can wait to see if any of those three are taken." "Sounds like a plan to me," Janeway said, laying back on the biobed. The Doctor concluded his work, and picked up a small vial of orange-y fluid. The contents of the vial were transferred into what looked to Janeway like a modified hypospray. There was something different about it that she couldn't quite place. "Now, this will not hurt very much," the Doctor assured her. "In fact it is doubtful that you feel anything. Shall we commence?" Janeway nodded, and couldn't help but close her eyes. The Doctor pulled back the bottom of Janeway's undershirt. She had long ago removed the jacket top, but still refused to change into a robe. Janeway swallowed. Her heart was fluttering anxiously in her chest, and she felt that she might faint. The Doctor seemed to notice this. "Captain, please relax." Janeway did not respond, but made a conscious effort to do what he had requested. The hypospray was pressed against her abdomen, and there was a thick wet hiss as he activated it. Now Janeway realized what was so different. A tiny needle extended beyond the hypo's normal reach, and sunk inside of her. Janeway held her breath. And then, with a soft 'clink' the Doctor pulled the hypospray away, and returned to the lab station. "Is that all to it?" Janeway's voice was exceedingly soft. The Doctor turned back to her. "You were expecting something worse?" he nearly smirked. With a sigh Janeway sat up and tugged her shirt down. "Now what?" she continued her questioning. "We have to wait," the Doctor said. Janeway sighed. "I want you to stay off duty for the next 24 hours." Janeway didn't even bother sighing. "Alright." "If you wish, you may return to your quarters now," the Doctor said. "Yes, I think I'll do that," Janeway nodded. She retrieved her jacket from the floor, and made a retreat from Sickbay.  

Something caused Seven to stir from her sleep. Her eye adjusted to the dim starlight, and she looked around for a cause of her disturbance. Seven's eyes finally fell upon a figure in the doorway. "Kathryn?" Seven's voice was thick with sleep. From the doorway, Janeway sighed. Her arms dropped their hold of the frame, and she entered the room quietly. Seven pushed herself up into a sitting position. "Are you alright?" "Yes," Janeway smiled softly. "I was just watching you sleep." "Why?" Janeway shrugged lightly. "Just was." Seven patted the empty space on the bed next to her. "Come to bed," Seven bade her. Janeway did not take long to comply, only pausing to extricate herself from her pants. She slipped under the covers and escaped the chill of the air. Seven waited before raising any questions to Janeway. She didn't have to. "It went well," Janeway whispered, rolling slightly to face Seven. "Did it hurt?" she wondered. Janeway gently shook her head no. "Not at all. I barely felt anything, to tell the truth." "You sound sad," Seven observed. "What do you mean?" "Almost as if you wanted their to be some amount of pain connected to this..." "No, Seven. I'm just tired." "You did not sleep while you waited?" her voice was tinged with concern. "I was almost too nervous to lay down, let alone sleep," Janeway explained.  

"What about now?" "I suppose I've calmed down some," she whispered. Seven's absently reached for her, and Janeway let out a hiss between clenched teeth. "What?" "You're hands are cold," Janeway laughed gingerly. Seven smiled, but didn't bother moving. They went through that every night. Someone's hands were always too cold. Janeway sighed, and her eyes closed partially. "Are you tired?" Seven wondered in a hushed voice. Her eyes still half-shut, Janeway smiled. "I suppose you could say that." "Then I will let you sleep," Seven said, and pressed a kiss on Janeway's forehead. "Good night, Kathryn." Janeway kissed Seven gently, and then her lids shut completely. A few moments later her breathing had evened out. Seven watched Janeway quietly for several minutes before letting her own eyes close, and drifting into another night of dreamless ex-Borg sleep. There are places I'll remember All my life though some have changed Some forever not for better Some have gone and some remain All these places have their moments With lovers and friends I still can recall Some are dead and some are living In my life I've loved them all  

But of all these friends and lovers There is no one compares with you And these memories lose their meaning When I think of love as something new Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before I know I'll often stop and think about them In my life I love you more  

Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before I know I'll often stop and think about them In my life I love you more In my life I love you more  

"I mean, sometimes I just want to smack him." "Why would you want to smack Harry?" Chakotay grinned as he and Alex made there way down the hall. "He's turning into Tom Paris," Alex groaned, running a hand through her hair. "We need to find another planet full of alien women for him to drool after." Chakotay laughed as they stepped onto the holodeck. "Deck two." "We were in the Astrometrics Lab-" "We?" "Me, and Ensign Redricks, and Harry. He was staring at her ass all afternoon! It was horrible." "Sounds to me like an personal problem," Chakotay chuckled. The doors to the turbolift opened, and they stepped out into the hall. "Well.. I think that he needs to get-" Chakotay quite paying attention to Alex, and caught the person who nearly collided with them. "Seven, what's the rush?" Seven was out of breathe, her blue eyes wide. "You have you excuse me, Commander. I'm need in Sickbay." "In Sickbay?" Chakotay's brow arched in curiosity. Seven's eyes darted to look at Alex quickly. "The Captain requested my attendance," Seven said lowly. "Oh, I see," Chakotay nodded. He released his grip on Seven. She returned the nod, and started off again. "What was that about?" Alex wondered, watching Seven making her way hastily to the near turbolift. "She's seeing the Captain in Sickbay." "In Sickbay?" Alex echoed Chakotay's earlier tone. "Oh! You mean about..." Chakotay nodded, "Yes." He smiled timidly. After a moment, Alex returned the smile. "You can go, if you want to." "Do you mean it?" Chakotay looked at her. Alex nodded. He took her hand. "Come with me." "Alright," she agreed after a moments thought, and they reversed their course to go to Sickbay.  

"Now hold still Captain, this will only take a moment," the Doctor ordered. "I am holding still," Janeway sighed as the Doctor held the tricorder levelly over her. The doors opened to admit Chakotay and Lt. Moretta. She hung back closer to the door, but Chakotay came up within feet of Seven. The ex-borg was clasping Janeway's left hand in her own, a quiet expression on her face. "Ah, so you've decided to join the party as well," the Doctor dead-panned. Chakotay smiled, glancing back at Alex, who had a apprehensive smile on her face. "Yes, I suppose so." The tricorder in the Doctor's hands let off a few squeaks and chirps, and with a nod he walked over to the lab station. He said nothing for nearly three minutes. "Well?" Janeway's voice cracked the silence. The Doctor turned, his face carefully set. And then, he spoke. "Congratulations Captain, Seven. One of the eggs has been successfully taken by your womb." He broke into a smile. "Captain, you're pregnant." There was a moment of stunned silence, and then Janeway let out a joyful laugh. Seven pulled her into a hug, and Chakotay found himself being pulled into an embrace by Alex. "Captain, Congratulations," Alex smiled. "Thank you, Alex." Janeway looked at Chakotay. "Thank you, Chakotay." Her thanks meant so much more than the words could say alone... Chakotay nodded, and glanced at Alex. "We'll just be going now, Captain." Janeway smiled at there retreating forms, before her attention was drawn back to the Doctor and Seven. "Captain, would you like to know who's egg it was?" Janeway glanced at Seven, and then shook her head. "No, we'd rather to trust in nature." The Doctor smiled. "Of course." He strode away to put up some equipment, and Janeway felt an arm around her waist. "I love you," Seven whispered. Janeway patted Seven's hand, a delicate smile gracing her face. She ghosted a kiss on Seven's cheek. "I love you too." Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before I know I'll often stop and think about them In my life I love you more In my life I love you more  

Fin