Adaptations: A Sequel to Sustenance

Act III

"That's it then?" Harry Kim asked dismally. "You're sure that someone will have to stay behind in the shuttle?"

He had been sitting patiently, with his fellow senior officers, listening to B'Elanna's and Seven's report. The two women had devised a plan to minimize the drifts, but there was a catch.

According to their analysis and Seven's careful calculations -- which, for safety's sake, had been double-checked by both B'Elanna and a member of her Engineering staff -- the wormhole could be stabilized if they used a modified shuttle at this end to create a graviton stream. The idea, in a sense, was to pull the passageway taut....."to minimize the wiggle room," B'Elanna explained.

Because the drifts were dynamic, however, the trajectory of the stream would have to be recalibrated to match the wormhole's altering vectors. That meant leaving someone behind to man the shuttle and compensate for the drifts as they occurred.

"Can't we just control the shuttle remotely?" Neelix asked.

"I wish we could," B'Elanna replied. "But there's no way we could maintain an open comlink to transmit instructions. And even if we could, the slightest delay in repositioning the stream would probably be enough to throw Voyager off course."

"What about the shuttle's automated systems?" Chakotay asked, thinking out loud as he formulated his suggestion. "Couldn't we preset the navigational systems to key off the sensors? Program the shuttle to alter trajectory to match the drifts?"

"I don't think the shuttle's computer could handle that," Tom offered.

"That's right," B'Elanna replied. "The drifts are affecting both the position and shape of the wormhole. As a result, there's no absolute center for the navigational systems to use as a focal point. For the shuttle's computer to keep up with the drifts, its sensors would have to monitor thousands of intersecting vectors. In other words, it would have to keep remapping the relative center of the wormhole and then compensate, all in a split second. Unfortunately, it's just not sophisticated enough to do that."

"So what you're saying," Harry translated, "is that we need someone on the shuttle who can eyeball the center and keep it in the cross hairs -- so that the graviton stream stays pointed in the right direction."

"Exactly," B'Elanna responded.

"That sounds like a job for a pilot," Tom noted nervously.

"It seems to me that we just need someone who can keep the shuttle aimed at a moving target," Neelix offered. "Anyone with basic piloting skills should be able to do that."

"I agree," B'Elanna confirmed. "As long as it's someone with a good eye, a steady hand, and quick reflexes," she added practically.

"I still don't like this plan," Tom murmured.

"None of us do, Tom," Chakotay agreed.

Everyone grew deadly quiet. Waiting.

Seven felt herself growing more nervous. Kathryn was avoiding her eyes as she slumped slightly in her chair, looking as though she had been only half listening.

After what seemed a long while, Janeway straightened and finally addressed her officers.

"All right then," she said in a low voice. "Let's get a shuttle ready. Neelix, no ceremonial fanfares or lengthy farewells. Just inform the crew. Get everyone ready." She looked at each of them, studiously avoiding Seven's gaze. "You have all been the finest crew any captain could hope for." She took a deep breath. "And I'll miss you very much." Her voice shook a little, but she was spared continuing as protests arose from all around her.

"No way, Captain!" Tom shouted. "This isn't right," B'Elanna protested. "Please, Captain," Harry began. "That would not be prudent," Tuvok offered. "We can't leave you behind, Captain!" Neelix cried. "Perhaps we should consider another alternative," the Doctor suggested nervously.

"Now wait just a goddamn minute!" Heads snapped towards Chakotay. He stared at the captain. "You can't do this!"

"Commander," she warned.

"No, Kathryn. He is right."

Janeway slowly turned towards the deceptively calm voice of Seven of Nine, knowing by the use of her familiar name that she was in for a fight.

Seven took a quick breath. "I cannot allow you to make this sacrifice," she continued quietly.

"You 'cannot allow'?"

"No," Seven answered.

"I think you're forgetting who's captain."

Seven smiled sadly and mused half to herself, "This is the second time today I have been accused of that." Then she looked at Kathryn again and visibly straightened, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin in defiance. "I cannot permit you to stay with the shuttle.....when I am the logical choice to be left behind."

The others remained quiet. No protests, Seven noticed. In her confused mind, it only served to confirm her decision.

The captain's heart began to ache. "Why should you be the one left behind, Seven?" she asked softly. "Why would you think that?"

"I am an artifact of the Delta Quadrant.....and a Borg. On earth, I would be a curiosity. Something to be studied or examined.....and definitely feared.....but never embraced."

"You're wrong," Janeway protested, her eyes shimmering.

"I am not wrong. If you will notice, no one in this room objected when I suggested staying behind."

"I object!" Kathryn replied before anybody else could.

"That does not alter the fact that I am the logical choice."

"But it's my call, Seven, and I am the necessary and final choice," Janeway declared in unmistakably commanding tones.

Seven took a nervous breath. "Then I must accompany you," she rejoined.

"That's out of the question," Janeway countered. "I didn't rescue you from the Borg Collective just to leave you stranded here in the Delta Quadrant."

"If you stay, I stay," Seven insisted, almost childishly.

"No!"

"Yes! I am responsible for you. It is the Chinese way," she asserted, her voice faltering in a half sob.

"What are you talking about?"

"I saved your life, and it is now my duty to protect you, Kathryn. Forever!"

"I think you and I had better have this discussion later," the captain warned.

"There is nothing to discuss!" Seven cried, forgetting herself. "I sustain you, Kathryn. Remember?"

"Seven!" Kathryn warned fearfully.

Seven caught herself and took halting gulps of air, fighting for control.

"Everybody out!" the captain ordered.

Chakotay looked as if he was about to object but thought better of it. Instead, he stood up and silently shuffled out with the rest of the senior officers.

Kathryn wanted to scream.....and cry......and shake her fists at the whole damn universe. And she wanted to shake Seven.....and hold her.....and tell her that everything would be all right.

She rose slowly and walked to the other end of the table, kneeling down next to Seven. Gently cupping the young woman's chin, she urged Seven to look at her. Their sad eyes locked for long moments.

It was Seven who finally broke the silence between them. "Please Kathryn," she implored in a whisper, "do not break your promise to me."

Kathryn studied her. "What promise?" she asked after a moment.

Swallowing back her tears, Seven looked squarely at the captain. "You promised that you would love me until your very last breath, Kathryn," she explained with a steady voice, belied only by the copious tears that were now streaming down her face. "You cannot do that if we are apart. And I cannot permit you to break your promise......I will not allow you to.....die without me," she concluded, her voice finally faltering.

~~~~~~~

The burly First Officer paced animatedly in the captain's Ready Room. "You're going to die out here. You know that, don't you? You and Seven."

Kathryn tried to ignore his aggressiveness. After the fateful staff meeting the previous evening, she had spent the rest of the night planning things out with Seven, and by now she had reached a kind of peace with their decision. It inflected her voice with a lightness that seemed wholly inappropriate to Chakotay.

"I think you're right that we couldn't make it back to the Alpha Quadrant in a shuttle, Chakotay. Seven is in Astrometrics now exploring this region for the nearest uninhabited M-class planet. We'll supply the modified shuttle with everything we need -- food, shelter, replicators, medical supplies. The hardest part will be outfitting it with Seven's alcove, but I have B'Elanna and Harry working on that now. In short, we'll have everything we need."

"Sounds cozy," Chakotay noted sarcastically. "But how's it supposed to look to the crew?"

"I would think that they'd understand I'm doing what is necessary to get them home." Janeway turned to her Vulcan security officer. "Tuvok, help me out, will you?"

"I'm afraid I can't assist you, Captain. Despite his emotional outbursts, Commander Chakotay is correct, both about your decision and about the crew's reactions. They will correctly surmise that you are staying behind with Seven for personal reasons since the decision to deprive Voyager of two capable officers for a mission where one will suffice is unquestionably illogical."

"What are you saying?" Janeway began in a disbelieving voice. "That leaving Seven behind alone would be an acceptable solution?"

"Not acceptable, Captain, but certainly less difficult for Voyager."

"But not less difficult for me," Janeway responded, her voice almost faltering.

"It doesn't have to be Seven!" Chakotay broke in. "Captain, I am volunteering for the mission."

Janeway studied her First Officer, feeling her anger replaced by the friendship between them. "That's not acceptable either, Chakotay.....Nor you either, Tuvok," she added when she heard the Vulcan begin to clear his throat. "This is my responsibility, gentlemen. It was my decision that got us all stuck here in the first place. Seven coming along hasn't changed the fact that I'm the one who has to take this mission. The only personal decision here is my decision to take Seven along. And I agreed to that because, ultimately, I'm the only real family she knows......and because.....because I made her a promise," she added wistfully, half to herself.

She looked up again at her two officers, kindness in her eyes even while the command mask fell back in place. "B'Elanna says the modifications to the shuttle should take only about four days. I want everyone and everything ready as soon as that's completed. Dismissed."

~~~~~~~

Seven of Nine was studying the main screen of the Astrometrics Lab when she heard the swoosh of the door followed by the clip-clap of small, humanoid feet.

"Naomi Wildman," she greeted without turning around.

"How did you know it was me, Seven?" the child asked.

"My enhanced hearing enables me to discern subtle noises, and your weight, height, and gait give you a distinctive footfall that I am able to recognize."

"Of course," the precocious child responded easily.

Seven raised her brow, an amused expression animating her features.

"What can I do for you?" Seven asked.

Naomi bit her lower lip. "I know you're really busy, Seven, but I....I was hoping you could play a game of Kadis Kot with me."

"You are correct, Naomi. I am 'really busy'."

"I know, but couldn't you break away for a little while? It's just that, well, it'll probably be our last time." The little girl's voice choked on "last," and without hesitation or conscious thought, Seven swooped down and pulled the child into a loving embrace, barely in time to catch her as she was seized by wracking sobs.

"Ssshhh, Naomi," Seven soothed. Her own eyes misted over. "'It will be all right'," she recited, feeling unsure herself.

"How can it be all right when you and the captain are leaving Voyager?" the child wailed. "Everybody thinks it's wrong for the captain to leave!"

Seven frowned. "Wrong? It is unfortunate, perhaps even distressing, but it is not 'wrong'. Correctly perceiving a threat to Voyager, the captain is sacrificing herself to ensure the safety of the ship and the crew as you travel through the wormhole."

"I understand that, Seven. But some of the crew say that Voyager still won't be home, and that it's the captain's responsibility to return the ship to the Alpha Quadrant. They say you should have talked her into staying."

"I did try," Seven explained. "At the staff meeting. But the captain had already made her decision."

"You didn't try hard enough," Naomi whimpered. "I don't care if it takes forever to get to earth! I love you, Seven. You and the captain shouldn't be leaving home."

Seven brushed away an errant tear from her own face. "I am sorry, too, Naomi Wildman.....I will miss you." She pulled the child in close for another hug. "You must promise to study diligently, use your time efficiently, and....and always surround yourself with people who love you." Seven pulled away again to look at the child. "And when you think of me, know that I am doing the same."

The child nodded, wisely understanding that Seven had chosen to remain with the person who loved her best. She visibly tried to regain her composure, hiccuping back gulps of air. "I will comply," she vowed bravely.

Seven took a breath. "I believe I will take my lunch break now. If you join me, we can play Kadis Kot as we ingest our meal."

"I'd like that. Thank you, Seven."

~~~~~~~

Later that evening, Seven of Nine heard the doors to Astrometrics open again and admit someone else with a light footfall -- these steps, however, were a bit heavier and surer....and they belonged to a body that was far better known to Seven. Her skin tingled as she felt the warmth of that body press beside her. The next sound she heard was like a low purr.

"It's late, darling," came the throaty call of her lover.

"Kathryn," Seven greeted. "I was just finishing up."

"Have you found a little paradise for us, yet?" the captain asked.

She tried to sound amused, but Seven thought she detected an undercurrent of.....fear? Perhaps her find would help allay the older woman's concerns.

"I have," she said confidently. "An M-class planet, approximately four light years from here. The entire system appears to be uninhabited. I launched a probe -- "

"Without me!" Kathryn quipped in mock indignation. Then she smiled fondly at the young woman.

Seven blinked in mild confusion and then smiled back as she caught the innuendo. "And," she continued, "sensors show the planet to be geologically stable with temperate climates in the equatorial regions and ample plant and animal life."

"Sounds lovely, Seven," Kathryn responded. She had meant to sound sincere, but then couldn't help adding, "All we need is the cozy cottage with a white picket fence."

Seven detected the unmistakable tinge of sarcasm.

"Are you certain this is what you want to do, Kathryn?"

The auburn-haired captain took a breath. "Honestly, Seven, this isn't about want. I just don't see that I have any choice." She looked at the young woman a little sadly. "But you do," she added quietly.

"Thank you, Kathryn."

The captain frowned. "That wasn't the response I was expecting."

Seven knew that and acknowledged the fact with an amused nod before explaining. "Thank you for accepting that it is my choice and for respecting that I choose, as I would always choose, to be with you."

Kathryn smirked but fondly.

"It just doesn't seem right, darling," she continued after a moment. "I wanted so much to return you to the Alpha Quadrant. I had begun thinking that maybe you were the reason we wound up here. That maybe I was meant to get stranded here just so that I could rescue you from the Borg, make things right again by taking you back to earth....back home."

"That is your idea of 'home', Kathryn. I do not share the same sense of loss, particularly because before I met you, that concept was meaningless to me."

"And now?"

"And now, you are my home," Seven explained simply. "I know you are sad and disappointed, Kathryn. I understand that you would feel those things for yourself, but please, do not feel them for me."

Kathryn was a little disbelieving at what she thought she was hearing. "Aren't you sorry that Voyager will go on without us?"

Seven's jaw tightened as she considered the question. "I will miss my friends -- the Doctor and Naomi especially. However, since you were prepared to stay here without me, my choice was simple: to be with you or to be without you. I cannot be without you, Kathryn. Therefore, I do not regret my decision."

Kathryn let the tears spill onto her face as the force of those words hit her. "I couldn't bear it either. The truth is that while I was sitting in that meeting yesterday, knowing what I had to do, the worst part was the thought of being separated from you."

"Never," Seven vowed.

"I just couldn't ask you to come with me. And even now, part of me can't help feeling that I should order you to stay on Voyager......I'm sorry, darling," she cried. "I've failed you....."

Seven pulled Kathryn in and wrapped her arms tightly around her, trying to comfort Kathryn as she continued to sob.

"I'm sorry," Kathryn said again. "I'm sorry for being so weak that I can't bear to be without you."

"You think because you have needs that you are weak," Seven said quietly. "That is the source of all your problems, Captain Janeway. It is why you had such difficulty allowing me to help you when you were starving." She pulled away to look at Kathryn. "But you are wrong. It was your fear -- your sense of humiliation -- that made you initially turn away from me, and it was your great strength and courage that allowed you to accept my help at last. How can you think otherwise?" Seven held her close again. "No, Kathryn, you are not weak. Our love is a source of strength. And to stop relying on each other at this point, to cease drawing on that strength would be like deciding we no longer wanted to use our limbs or to breathe the air around us. Turning away from me now, Kathryn, would be....inefficient."

Kathryn smiled through her tears, her mood growing lighter. "Darling, I've heard poets describe love in countless ways," she said softly, "but never as 'efficient'.....You are unique, my love."

"I am a Borg romantic," Seven quipped.

The captain chuckled, snuggling closer. "I guess that's why resisting your love is futile," she joked back.

"That is a good one, Kathryn," Seven complimented, seeking her lips.

"You think so?" the older woman asked between kisses.

"Yes."

"Good joke?"

"Indeed."

"Funny?"

"Very."

"Mmm?"

"Mm-Hmm."

The last exchange lingered, becoming a languid kiss. And then they held each other as, this time, Seven grew pensive and doubtful.

"Will you be....lonely, Kathryn? Without the crew?"

"I'll have you for company, Seven," she responded, evading the question. "Actually, I suppose it'll be like it was back on the planet....just the two of us."

"Except our circumstances will be much improved," Seven observed more lightly.

"No milk rations?" Kathryn asked in a secretive voice, sounding almost disappointed.

"I did not say that."

The captain favored the young woman with a crooked grin.

"You know," she mused after a moment, "the odds were really against us on that rock. I'm still amazed at how you managed to keep us alive."

"'All in a day's work'," Seven recited a little too casually.

"Was it?"

"I don't understand the question, Kathryn," Seven frowned.

"I mean.....would you have done the same thing for anyone else?" Kathryn continued seriously. "If you had been stranded with, say, Chakotay or Tuvok?"

Seven flinched, her body instantly objecting to the idea, but she judiciously allowed her intellect to consider the question.

"I believe you wish me to say 'yes'," Seven began haltingly, "and I don't want to disappoint you, but....it was personal, Kathryn.....I think I could have expressed the milk for them." She lowered her voice. "But I....I would have found it difficult to allow anyone else to draw the milk from my nipples....as you did."

Kathryn's eyes shimmered. "That was my fault, darling. I don't believe feeding me directly was your original intent, and if I hadn't thrown away all the containers, I wouldn't have had to......violate you like that."

"It was not a violation, Kathryn. Not with you. Never with you," Seven declared, embracing Kathryn fiercely. "With you, it was joy."

She looked into Kathryn's eyes. "With you, it will always be joy."

The sentiments were pleasant but suddenly too intense.

"So if Chakotay had thrown all the cups out?" Kathryn prompted, inviting a little morbid humor.

Seven picked up her cue. "Tuvok would have made a fine First Officer."

A smile crinkled the captain's tear-stained eyes.

"Poor Chakotay," she lamented ironically.