No title 03
I love her. I’ve always loved her. But I knew she
would never answer my feelings, so I found myself someone who would. I really
thought I could be happy with Chakotay. I really did. But she was always there
in the back of my mind. Every time he kissed me I thought about her. Every
time we made love I thought about her. I ended it when the situation became
unbearable. I thought I was going to stop loving her if there was somebody in
my life. I was wrong. I love her even more now, than the day we parted ways. I
followed Chakotay and she went home, to Arizona. I didn’t hear anything from
her when I was still with Chakotay. I didn’t try to make contact either. I
wanted to get her out of my system. When it became clear that that wasn’t
going to happen, I found a place of my own. After a couple of weeks I mustered
up the courage to contact her.
‘Hello Seven, it’s nice to see you again.’
‘It’s nice to see you too Captain.’
‘Kathryn. I’m not your Captain anymore.’
‘So how have you been? How’s Chakotay?’
‘Chakotay and I have ended our relationship. I have moved out and found a place of my own.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that. Are you okay?’
‘I am fine.’
‘I realised I was not in love with him.’
There was a long pause while Katrhyn was digesting that information.
‘How did he take it?’
‘He asked me to stay. I refused. I have not heard from him since.’
‘How are you coping on earth?’
‘I am adapting.’
‘I’m sure you are!’
‘How have you been Kathryn?’
‘I’ve been enjoying some time off. I’m staying with my mother. My sister, Phoebe, visits regularly. She wants to know everything that happened to us in the delta-quadrant. Some of the crew of Voyager have come ‘round to visit. In my spare time I read everything I can get my hands on. I’ll be glad to get back to work.’
‘Are you not enjoying your time off?’
‘I am. But I like to feel useful.’
‘So do I.’
‘What have you been doing?’
‘I’m currently working at Starfleet headquarters as a civilian. I’m putting all the information I have gathered as a Borg in files. I am also enrolled in the Academy.’
‘I’m glad to hear that. Maybe one day we will work together again then.’
‘I would like that.’
Another silence ensued.
‘So was this just a social call or did you wish to discuss something with me?’
‘I was curious to know how you were doing.’
‘Well, I’m glad you called.’
‘So am I.’
‘Don’t be a stranger in the future.’
‘How can I be a stranger to you Kathryn?’
‘It’s an expression. It means: Next time don’t take so long to make contact.’
‘I’ll see you then Seven.’
Seven had made a habit out of contacting Kathryn once a week after the first time. They would talk about what was going on in their lives. Although Kathryn was now Admiral Janeway, she didn’t let Seven call her Admiral. ‘It’s Kathryn to you Seven.’
Kathryn had broken their routine. It was the first time she contacted Seven herself.
‘Hello Kathryn. Is everything all right?’
‘Yes, I just have some news I wanted to share with you. Starfleet finally realised they couldn’t keep me tucked away in Arizona, so they offered me a teaching position at the Academy. It’s not exactly what I had hoped for, but it’s something!’
‘Thanks. This also means I’ll be moving. We’ll be able to meet up and talk instead of calling.’
‘That is good news.’
‘That it is. I’ll let you know when I’ll arrive.’
‘I’ll see you then.’
Kathryn was moving here and wanted to see her. Seven felt a nervous flutter in her stomach.
Kathryn pulled her into a hug.
‘It’s so nice to see you in the flesh.’
Seven answered the hug.
‘It is nice to see you to Kathryn.’
‘Let’s grab a coffee, or tea, and go sit in the park.’
‘Admiral Janeway, what can I get for you today?’
‘A coffee and a tea.’
Silently they waited for their order to be served. Some of the students nodded respectfully at Kathryn, who politely smiled back.
‘So, have you made a lot of friends here yet?’
‘I do not need to attend most of the courses. Most pupils in the practical courses I do have to follow do not like me.’
‘I’ll take that as a no then. And at Starfleet headquarters?’
‘I do not have contact with a lot of people.’
‘What do you do in your spare time then?’
‘I work, regenerate and call you.’
‘Oh. Have you had any contact with the crew of voyager?’
‘I visit the doctor and Naomi on a regular basis. I speak with Tuvok every once in a while.’
Their order arrived and they made their way outside.
‘I gather you haven’t met anybody else then.’
‘I have met a number of people.’
‘No, Seven I mean someone special. Someone you would want a relationship with.’
‘Not on earth no. Have you?’
Kathryn looked at her surprised. Then she started to laugh.
‘Not in Arizona, no.’
Seven felt relieved. At least she wouldn’t have to see Kathryn with somebody else.
‘So are you going to be in one of my classes?’
‘I believe not.’
‘That’s a relief.’
Seven was surprised and a little hurt.
‘You would not want to teach me?’
‘No, I wouldn’t. I know you to well!’
‘Besides, this time around I want us to be friends, not teacher and student.’
‘Let’s go sit over there. This used to be my favourite place when I was still at the Academy.’
‘The view is lovely.’
Seven wasn’t really paying attention to the view tough.
‘Yes it is.’
Kathryn’s favourite spot quickly became Seven’s favourite too. Every once in a while they would bump into each other there. They would talk about their day or they would just sit next to each other in silence. Seven really enjoyed these shared moments with Kathryn. They made her feel loved and special.
‘Seven, I thought I might find you here.’
Kathryn sat down next to her.
‘How was class?’
‘The usual. But thanks for asking Seven.’
‘You look pleased.’
‘I am. I have some news. I’m planning a voyager-reunion party. I’m going to invite the crew and their families. I‘ve already talked to my mother and Phoebe and they’ll come. They look forward to meeting the crew, especially you. You’ll come, won’t you?’
Seven didn’t really like parties, but if Kathryn wanted her there she would go.
‘Great! Now all I have to do is send invitations to the rest of the crew. I’m looking forward to seeing them all again!’
‘So am I.’
‘Will you help me with the preparations?’
‘Of course I will.’
Kathryn had helped her select a dress to wear tonight. It wouldn’t have been Seven’s choice but she would wear whatever Kathryn selected for her. Kathryn had said she looked beautiful in the dress, that was reason enough for Seven to wear it.
‘Seven, you look great, as ever.’
‘As do you B’Ellana. Is Tom not with you this evening?’
‘He’s off with Harry. Probably getting into trouble.’
Seven faintly smiled.
‘How is Miral?’
‘She’s doing great. Though she is quite a handful.’
‘I can imagine!’
B’Ellana smirked at the comment.
‘It’s good to see you two getting along.’
‘Ah, Kathryn, it’s nice to see you.’
Kathryn pulled B’Ellana in a hug. Seven felt a tinge of jealousy.
‘It’s nice to see you too. It’s been too long.’
‘Yes, it is.’
Kathryn winked at Seven. Seven smiled back.
The night was coming to an end and Seven had successfully avoided talking to Chakotay. She spent most of the evening in the company of Tuvok, the doctor, Naomi and Kathryn. Seven tried to stay as close as possible to Kathryn, who didn’t seem to mind. Whenever Kathryn was escorted away to dance or talk, she would always go back to where Seven was standing. Seven followed Kathryn with her eyes the whole time. Always smiling at her when Kathryn looked in her direction.
‘You look great.’
‘You look good as well.’
‘How have you been doing?’
‘Not bad. I miss you though.’
Seven looked away awkwardly.
‘I guess that means you haven’t changed your mind jet.’
‘I have not.’
‘Oh, ok. I guess that’s it then.’
‘All the best to you Seven.’
‘All the best to you Chakotay.’
He simply nodded and walked off.
‘Are you all right? I saw you talking to Chakotay.’
‘I am fine Kathryn.’
‘Did you have a nice time?’
‘Yes I did. Did you?’
‘Oh yes. It was nice to see so many familiar faces again.’
‘It was. I also enjoyed getting to know your mother and sister.’
‘Ah. I hope they didn’t embarrass me.’
‘On the contrary. They spoke very highly of you.’
‘They spoke very highly of you too Seven. Phoebe asked me to ask you if she could paint you one time.’
‘That will not be a problem.’
‘Great, I’ll tell her. She has a lot of talent you know.’
‘I have seen a great deal of her work. She has indeed talent.’
‘I didn’t know you were that interested in art.’
‘She is your sister.’
Kathryn looked perplexed for a moment, but decided not to go into it.
After the last guests had left Seven offered to escort Kathryn home.
‘I don’t need an escort, but you can walk me home if you want to.’
‘I had a good time this evening.’
‘I’m really glad to hear that Seven. I know you don’t really like parties.’
They walked in silence to Kathryn’s house.
‘Do you want to come in for a cup of tea?’
‘You should get some sleep.’
‘After all the excitement I’ve had tonight, I need to unwind a little first.’
‘I will join you for some tea then.’
Seven followed Kathryn inside. She took a seat on the couch while Kathryn replicated two cups of tea.
‘You do not like tea.’
‘Ah, but I know you won’t let me drink coffee this time of night and I have already had too much synthenol tonight.’
‘You are correct.’
‘So what did you and Chakotay talk about?’
‘He wanted to know if I had changed my mind about breaking up with him.’
‘What did you tell him?’
‘That I hadn’t.’
‘Why did you break up with him?’
‘I have already told you. I was not in love with him.’
‘I know you’ve told me before, but I get the feeling you’re holding something back. He didn’t do anything to you did he?’
‘No he did not.’
‘So what are you holding back?’
‘I broke up with him because I am in love with somebody else.’
‘Oh. I thought you hadn’t met anyone special on earth?’
‘I have not.’
Kathryn looked confused.
‘It was someone on voyager.’
‘It is not important. I can not have a relationship with this person.’
‘Is he married?’
‘In a relationship?’
‘Then what is the problem?’
‘This person does not feel the same way about me.’
‘Have you told him?’
‘Then how can you know?’
“Who wouldn’t want to be with you? There isn’t a single young man on voyager that wouldn’t want to be with you.”
Seven didn’t say anything.
‘I should go. You need to rest.’
‘No Seven, you are not running away from this conversation. I want you to be happy. As long as you don’t know how he feels about you, you’ll never be truly happy.’
‘It’s a woman.’
‘What is a woman?’
‘I’m in love with a woman.’
‘Ah. That makes it a little more complicated. But she could return your feelings. Lesbianism is quite common you know.’
‘So who is it?’
‘It’s better I do not tell.’
‘Come on Seven. Don’t make me guess.’
‘It is you.’
Shock registered on Kathryn’s face.
‘I... I had no idea. I... don’t really know what to say.’
‘You do not have to say anything. As I said, I know you do not return my feelings. Goodbye Kathryn.’
Seven stood up and walked out the door.
It had been two weeks since the party. Seven was sitting in the park of the campus.
Kathryn sat down beside her.
‘Please don’t run away. We have to talk about this.’
Seven just nodded.
‘You took me by surprise. I had no idea you felt that way about me.’
Seven nodded again.
Kathryn opened her mouth but didn’t say anything. They just sat next to each other in silence. Suddenly Seven felt Kathryn’s hand on her own. Their fingers intertwined. Seven didn’t really know what that gesture meant but didn’t want to spoil the moment by asking.
‘I can’t promise you anything Seven. I haven’t been with anybody in a long time. I’ve never been with a woman before. All I know is that I can’t imagine my life without you. These last two weeks without you have made that perfectly clear. So if you want to give it a go, I’m all yours.’
Seven didn’t know what to say. She felt a huge smile appear on her face.
‘I want you.’
Kathryn smiled radiantly at her.
‘You ask me out on a date and I accept.’
‘Kathryn will you go out to dinner with me tonight?’
Today was their one-year anniversary. Seven couldn’t imagine her life without Kathryn. They had a strong relationship, built on trust and love. She felt at home when she was with Kathryn.
‘I have something special to give to you.’
‘So do I. But you can go first.’
Kathryn opened the gift.
‘It is a promise ring.’
‘It’s beautiful. Thank you.’
Kathryn threw her arms around Sevens neck and kissed her deeply.
‘Mine isn’t quite as special.’
‘Whatever you give me will be special because you gave it to me.’
‘You’re such a sweet talker.’
Seven tentatively opened the present.
‘It is a key.’
Kathryn laughed at the expression on Seven’s face.
‘It’s a symbolic key. It has two meanings. First of all I’m giving you the key to my heart. I have never loved someone the way I love you and I never will. Secondly I am giving you the key to my house. I would like for you to move in with me.’
Seven kissed Kathryn passionately and carried her to the bedroom.
‘Whatever is mine is yours.’