Both women heard a bell toll somewhere in another part of the great house. It must have been the signal for dinner since Kathryn and Seven heard women’s voices at the far end of the corridor, an excited blend of language where the sounds and cadences rose and fell accordingly. Seven almost tipped the chair over in her quickness to stand and move towards the door. She found that she was suddenly uncomfortable, as though she had overstepped the bounds of decorum between Captain and crewmember and she thought that if she could escape the probing eyes of Kathryn, she might later be able to tolerate being in such close proximity to her. Kathryn followed her but stopped her before she could open the door, placing a gentle hand on her arm.

"Please wait."

"Captain, I believe we are being summoned, probably for a nutritional supplement which I do not require at this time. I would like to explore more of this village and can do so while you are consuming food."

"Seven, what just happened here?" asked Kathryn gently.

"I … I need to be alone for now but I will use that time to take additional tricorder readings and attempt to find out more about this planet and this species." Her voice had suddenly assumed its professional tone despite the fact that she was having difficulty maintaining eye contact with Janeway.

"All right then. But, I want us to talk later. Please don’t stay outdoors too long because I believed Traeber when he referred to the nights becoming very cold around here. I noticed the heavy coats hanging on hooks in the foyer and although these people seem quite capable of enduring such a harsh climate, you and I are not acclimated to it yet," indicated Kathryn.

"I will comply, Captain," replied Seven of Nine.

"Seven, must I order you to call me Kathryn for the remainder of this mission?"

"No." Seven was staring at the rough-hewn planking of the floor.

"Then, please, let’s work together. This could be a wonderful opportunity for both of us," Kathryn said gently.

"I understand…Kathryn."

Kathryn Janeway sat down to a table laden with food which smelled delicious. There was a large soup tureen in the center of the table with several smaller crockery bowls filled with a thick stew that had chunks of meat and vegetables in it. At one end of the table were large round loaves of dark brown bread still warm from the oven. At the other end of the table were several goblets of an amber liquid that Kathryn discovered to her delight contained a mild beer. She would be careful not to overindulge. In front of each place setting was a plate containing several pieces of what appeared to be vegetable and fruit slices. It reminded Kathryn of the church suppers that she attended as a child with her aunt and uncle and she smiled at the memory.

Keth had given a coat to Seven while admonishing her about missing the meal. Seven insisted, however, that she preferred to be outdoors even though the sun was setting. Keth had grumbled about the strangeness of Seven and her lack of appetite and for a moment, Kathryn had felt a surge of protectiveness but tempered it with the protocols that dictated her behavior on away missions involving first contacts. Instead she eagerly joined the women at the table and allowed herself a sense of comfort from sitting with a group of women consuming their food with relish.

"Keth tells us that you are from beyond the Soborians?" inquired a tall thin woman with a hawkish nose. She had the same bony ridge that Kathryn had noticed on Traeber’s forehead.

"Yes, we’re travelling to the large city that lies near the sea. I understand that it is beyond the forested region," responded Kathryn who took a bowl of stew for herself and a hunk of the warm bread. As she spooned some of the stew and bit into the bread, she was pleasantly surprised to discover that the taste exploded in her mouth. It had been a very long time since she had consumed such delicious food and each mouthful was a delightful blend of taste and texture as she savored each morsel.

"Why whatever for?" asked another woman who had dark ringlets of hair adorning her head. She wore large earrings in her ears, which Janeway noticed were shaped similarly to Tuvok’s. It seemed to Kathryn that the women gathered about the evening table had similar facial features; the only exception seemed to be Keth who appeared to be no different from the human crewmembers aboard Voyager.

"Because we love to travel and we have business there," answered Janeway.

Keth interceded at that moment to ask the women seated if any had felt an energy force that may have accounted for Janeway, Seven, and their other companion to lose the use of their transportation. Most of the women shook their heads and kept silent.

The hawk-nosed one answered affirmatively. "I have heard that the Taborians have established a large technological center and that they are mining for a source of energy which will take them to other worlds. They will fail," she said triumphantly.

"Oh, Floria, you are being negative again. If the Taborians wish to leave this world, I say let them go," the dark haired woman said.

"What kind of mining are they doing?" inquired Kathryn.

"They are attempting to mine muoline. Or so I have heard," replied Floria, the hawk-nosed woman.

"I’m afraid I am not familiar with that element. Can you tell me more about it? It may help us with the repair of our transportation vehicle," asked Janeway.

"I have not witnessed their mining operations but I have heard that those who work for long periods of time in the mine do not live for very long. It is as though they contract some kind of ailment, which makes them very weak and unable to function. And then they die." Floria flatly stated.

"What about medical treatment?" Janeway asked.

"The healer guild is perplexed as to why this particular ore is causing such problems for the Taborians. They have no answers either," answered Floria.

It was obvious to Janeway that this woman held the Taborians in great disdain and although she wanted to press further for information, she knew that she needed to tread lightly. Again, it seemed as though Keth had interrupted the conversation to inquire about the meal and received numerous compliments from those that were gathered.

"It is too bad," Keth began "that Seven of Nine could not join us for dinner. She is an interesting woman and I would like to learn more about her. She has an interesting way of speaking, does she not, Kathryn?"

"Yes, Seven tends to be very precise," answered Kathryn.

"Seven of Nine is Kathryn’s travelling companion along with a male who is called Harry Kim. Such interesting names that I have never heard before…they seem to twist my tongue, Kathryn." Keth seemed to add a note of curiosity in her voice.

"It is as Traeber said earlier; our customs and ways are different beyond the Soborians and our names are different too. I would like to know all your names," she indicated to the group of women assembled at the table.

"Forgive me for my lack of manners, Kathryn. Please let us introduce ourselves to our new found guest."

The dark haired one with the ringlets spoke up first. "I am called Norith."

Each woman introduced herself and Janeway was satisfied that she had, at least temporarily, shifted the tone of the conversation away from herself and Seven and back to the mission at hand. She was careful to keep a watchful eye on Keth, who seemed to be studying Kathryn with a heightened degree of interest. It was as though Keth did not quite believe the story that Kathryn had concocted and was watching and listening intently for any mistakes.

I must be careful with this woman, thought Kathryn. She looks at me as though she can see through me.

"Perhaps it is as you say, Kathryn. Do tell us of your town and the events that are happening high in the Soborians. Do they still race the Backku?" Keth probed. To the others she explained, "It has been many seasons since we had visitors who could tell us the wild tales of the Backku. Do share some stories with us."

Others at the table clapped their hands and were excited at the prospect that Kathryn might possibly regale them with stories of an event, which she knew nothing about. Fortunately for Kathryn at that very moment, the front door banged open and Seven of Nine could be heard stomping her feet in the foyer, uttering interesting phrases that alerted everyone that she was not pleased with the change in climate.

"Let me attend to my friend," said Kathryn as she stood and headed for the foyer.

Seven was hanging the coat on a hook when Kathryn approached. There was the slightest dusting of snow on her hair and she brushed at it with her fingers loosening strands that betrayed the neat twist that Seven customarily wore. Kathryn laid a hand on Seven’s wrist and looked in her eyes as though she was searching for something.

"I am fatigued for the moment and wish to rest, Cap...Kathryn. I will retire if you require nothing more from me," Seven simply said.

"Wouldn’t you rather join the rest of the women in the kitchen, Seven? You must be hungry and the stew is delicious," offered Kathryn understanding that Seven was feeling a definite awkwardness between them.

"I would not. Please offer my… my apologies. Goodnight."

Kathryn returned to the kitchen only to discover several pairs of eyes studying her closely. Floria cleared her throat and offered Kathryn another goblet of the beer. Kathryn gratefully accepted it and sat down at the table. There was a moment of awkwardness that Janeway could not avoid and studying the goblet seemed the best thing for the time being.

"Will you tell us about the Backku?" asked Braza, another woman who was sitting across the table from Kathryn.

Braza had the most beautiful emerald green eyes and flaming red hair that Kathryn had ever seen in a woman. And, her smile was captivating. Kathryn found herself forgetting for the moment that she knew nothing of this Backku as she looked at Braza. Kathryn cleared her throat and realized that she would need to invent something plausible.

"I don’t know where to start, really," Kathryn began.

"At the beginning, of course!" exclaimed Norith.

Janeway was definitely uncomfortable. She knew that she needed to offer these women some explanation regarding whatever story the Backku might provide but she was totally at a loss. After what seemed like several minutes, Keth, sensing Kathryn’s discomfort came to her rescue.

"Does the race still boast of having the most difficult obstacle course ever designed by an Iaconian?"

"Ah, yes. The Backku is very treacherous and difficult. The Iaconians must be very proud of their achievement in producing such a difficult race with so many obstacles that tax a competitor." Janeway breathed a sigh as she returned to her meal.

"Excellent. My mother’s mother knew the designer of the course. It was meant to challenge even the most brave of Iaconians because the course challenges not only strength and agility, but stamina and heart," added Braza.

"And it still does even to this day," offered Kathryn knowing that she might be skating on thin ice.

"Has anyone ever lost their life because of the course?" asked Norith.

"I would imagine so. The twists and turns are very abrupt and although I have not been witness to such, I would think that someone has lost their life to the Backku," intoned Janeway. "May I have more of this beverage, Floria, it’s most delicious. What is it made from?"

"Crael? Do you mean to tell me that you don’t have crael up there in the Soborians?" asked Floria incredulously.

"Well, it doesn’t taste like this. What is this made from?" Kathryn repeated her question.

"It’s nothing more than the fermentation of the borka plant with nut flavoring. I thought crael was everywhere."

"Well, this is much better than what I’m used to," admitted Kathryn, which for once was not a falsehood.

It was better than synthehol, the alcohol substitute available on Voyager. Kathryn enjoyed wines very much and an occasional beer when she played pool in the holodeck at Sandrines. Her beverage of choice was a good red wine with a flavorful body and fruity bouquet, preferably a Beaujolais or a Merlot. Although this crael was more like beer, it had a distinctive flavor that reminded her of a wine that she had tasted long ago when she and Mark were first engaged.

That seems like a lifetime ago, she thought as she gazed around the room.

Keth invited the women to join her in another part of the house so that they could enjoy music and partake of some after dinner spirits. Kathryn declined making her excuses that she wished to check on Seven and would probably be turning in for the night. Keth simply looked at her and smiled. Kathryn paused at the doorway to the stairs and turned, commenting to everyone and Keth in particular, that the dinner had been wonderful.

"If you need help with the dishes, please call me and I’ll come and help you," Kathryn offered.

"That won’t be necessary. Go check on Seven and make certain that she’s all right, Kathryn. We awaken around these parts fairly early, just after the sun has risen. Breakfast will be soon after," smiled Keth.

"Goodnight then," said Kathryn as she headed upstairs to the room that she and Seven shared.

Seven was sitting on the bed nearest the window when Kathryn came back to their room. She sat with her knees drawn and her arms wrapped around her legs. She had been thinking about Kathryn, wondering how she could possibly explain to her the thoughts and feelings that seemed to tumble about in her head. She felt that Kathryn was trying to convey something to her and yet she was also hearing conflicting messages. There was a part of Seven that wanted to reach out and wrap her arms around Kathryn and another voice which continued to emphatically repeat that she would be breaking proper protocol were she to act on those desires. She was aware that her stomach felt oddly different, as though there was an ache that had no physiological reason associated with it yet became exacerbated when Kathryn came into the room. She had not eaten since before leaving Voyager and was not necessarily hungry at this time. It was baffling to Seven and she sought to understand what was wrong with her, but the Doctor was unavailable and she would need to wait for his diagnostic capabilities until they returned to the ship.

"Seven, where did you go off to?" asked Janeway.

"I did not travel very far. Instead I concentrated my efforts in that part of the village which seemed to have more buildings and commerce. This race of beings appears to operate on a system of guilds. There is a repair guild that Traeber spoke about, a builder’s guild, a food guild, and more. Each guild appears to be responsible for the maintenance of the village’s well being and livelihood. I took tricorder readings but was unable to find any evidence of the energy wave that impacted Voyager."

"It sounds as though you were able to find out a little something of the society that we have found ourselves in. I have discovered from Floria, one of the women staying here, that in one of the larger cities, there is indeed a mining operation. They are mining for muoline and she claims that it is an energy source that might allow the Taborians to leave this planet. However, there seems to be some risk associated with the mining; people become sick and die. Have you ever heard of this substance?"

"No, Captain … Kathryn, I have not. However, if this substance has sub-atomic particles that facilitate a release of energy, that may be the cause of the energy wave."

"Agreed. I think our next course of action is to head in the direction of this larger city and find out more about this muoline and the Taborians who are mining it. I’ll contact Chakotay and let him know to start scanning for this element."

Although Kathryn was using all of her restraint as Captain not to demand an explanation for Seven’s earlier odd behavior, she couldn’t help but notice that Seven seemed to be wrestling with something. However, at that moment there was the softest of knocks at the door.

"Kathryn? Are you still awake?" whispered someone from the hallway.

Kathryn opened the door to find Keth standing in the hallway.

"Do you need my help with the dishes, Keth?" she asked.

"No, Kathryn. I would like to speak with you, privately, if I may. Would you join me in my library room?"

"Certainly. Give me just a moment. Seven, we can speak later of this when I return."

"Yes, Kathryn."

Kathryn followed Keth down the hallway to another set of stairs leading to a short landing. She walked through a doorway off the landing into a room filled from floor to ceiling with books and what appeared to be manuscripts in bound leather folders. The room had that same spiced odor to it that was pleasant and a small fire burned in the grate lending warmth to the room. Kathryn had not seen so many bound volumes in one area since her father had taken her to the Federation’s central library and it astounded her to see so many books in a room that could not have been much larger than the conference room aboard Voyager. There were a couple of chairs with a table between them and each faced the fire. The room had a quiet feel to it that Janeway could appreciate since she often preferred to curl up with a good book rather than access the computer library.

"Please sit down, Kathryn." Keth gestured to one of the chairs that faced the fireplace. "May I offer you some mocre?"

There were two steaming mugs of a beverage that smelled wonderful and Kathryn thought that she could almost smell the slightest trace of coffee. She blew across the steaming liquid and took a sip, tentative at first, then another. The mocre had a flavor not unlike coffee, but perhaps with more nut flavoring than she was used to.

"Let me begin by saying that I am all too aware that you are not who you claim to be and although I do not know who you are, I cannot turn guests of my house out into the cold of night. You and Seven would surely die from the elements here. But, I want you to understand that I was sorely tempted, and it was only by the grace of Braza that I have not done so."

"Thank you," Janeway said quietly. "How did you know?"

"You obviously know nothing of the Backku and therefore, could not possibly have come from the other side of the Soborian Mountains. There is a strangeness about you and Seven that does not fit with the people here. In fact, I do not believe that you are from this world at all. I would like for you to tell me the truth and if I can, I will assist you in what you are searching for. But, beware, Kathryn, I can tell when someone is telling me falsehoods and I don’t appreciate deception."

Kathryn took a deep breath, looked squarely at Keth, and wondered if this was just another example of her bending the Prime Directive. She knew that these people were not in the same league technologically speaking and yet, there was ample evidence that they were not primitives. She chose her next words very carefully.

"You are correct in your assessment that we are not from this planet. My name is Captain Kathryn Janeway, from the United Federation of Planets and we are a very long way from home. We have been trying to get back to what is known as the Alpha Quadrant when our vessel was impacted by an energy wave that we believe originated from this planet. My crew and I are attempting to discover the source of the wave because it caused major malfunctions all over my ship. We did not know if it was a weapon of some kind or if it was an energy source that we might be able to use productively. Scans of this planet indicated that the people here are ready to enter the realms of space."

Kathryn noted that Keth did not respond immediately. Keth frowned slightly and looked into the fire and then emitted a long sigh. Kathryn placed the mug on the table between them and watched Keth as she was obviously struggling with this new information.

"I see. And your crew sends its highest member to explore our planet?" she inquired.

"I especially enjoy first contact opportunities with alien races. And, I have enjoyed your hospitality and the hospitality of the other guests of your house. But my ship is in trouble and I want to find out the cause. I have crews working every shift doing what they can to repair the damages caused by this energy emission. We believe that it has already caused the destruction of another ship belonging to a race of people known as the Setarians," admitted Kathryn.

This last piece of news seemed to disturb Keth more than the news that Kathryn and her away team were not who they pretended to be. Kathryn wondered about that as she waited patiently for a response from Keth.

"And what will you do with the muoline element if you find it?" asked Keth.

"We will take a sample of it back to Voyager, our ship, for a full analysis. If we discover that it can be useful to our needs in helping us return home more quickly, then we will try to extract some for our use. If we discover that it is dangerous to our systems, we will abandon that plan completely."

"Well, you are correct in your assessment that there are some who wish to venture into space. They have developed the technology to do so and have been experimenting for some time now. But Kathryn, I sense that you and your people are far more advanced than we are. Will you share your technology?"

"I am not allowed to do that. We have what is known as The Prime Directive. It is designed to not allow anyone of my crew to interfere with the natural development of a planet or race. I am bending this Directive by telling you this much."

"I see. Then it would seem that you will require my assistance, after all. You must understand that our world has two separate societies that while they are very different, they are able to coexist on this planet with relative ease. There are the Iaconians whom you have met this evening and there are the Taborians. Each culture has co-existed peacefully until recently. It is unfortunate that the Taborians have chosen to be greedy and ill tempered because of the muoline that was found. They have become very protective of it and although the Taborians are not interested in what this may ultimately cause, they have chosen to use it with little caution. Therefore, tomorrow, either before or after everyone has left for their day’s activities, I will take you to Garonk. There we will barter for a vehicle that you will need to take you the rest of the way to Dolamon. That is the city where the mining is being done, Kathryn. I will go with you…"

"But, I can’t ask you to do that, Keth," interrupted Janeway.

"…And you have not. I will go with you because I know the ways of the city people. Their people and customs are quite different than ours and you and your crew will stand out like boils on a Backku’s backside."

"You mean," laughed Kathryn, "that the Backku is an animal?"

"Of course, which is why I knew that you were not from the Soborian Mountains or anywhere near there. I don’t think the others knew of your deception. Braza did because she was raised in the village of Shimale which is in the heart of the Soborians and that’s where the races are conducted," exclaimed Keth.

"Then you tricked me. You both did!"

"Indeed we did but only after it was obvious that you did not know what you were talking about." Keth laughed.

"Then I would appreciate your assistance, Keth, and thank you again. We must discover what has tampered with our ship’s systems so that we can be on our way. We have been on a long journey and still have a long way to travel before we can be home again," admitted Janeway.

"Then that is settled. Now, then. What of your relationship with Seven?" inquired Keth.

"I beg your pardon?" questioned Kathryn.

"Kathryn, you have been generous with your honesty so let me be generous with mine. It would appear that you have traveled between many of the stars and have met many strange and wonderful people. I don’t think that you are the kind of woman who would be offended or frightened by my gift."

"Your gift?"

"I have the ability to see people in different ways. For example, I can always tell when someone is being deceptive with me. My people call it colares and it is the ability to sense things in others. I can be attuned to another’s state of mind if you will. It is most useful when I am bargaining for something and want to make certain that what I am paying for is worth its price. At times it isn’t much of a gift and more of a heartache because I can feel pain in others."

"We know of races that have something similar only we call it empathy. There is a race of beings known for their empathic abilities and are often used as counselors during negotiations. They are most useful and often times I have wished for one on board my ship," Kathryn related.

"It would seem, then, that we have much in common, an idea which I find most intriguing since you are not even from this part of space, as you say," began Keth. "But again, what of your relationship with Seven. She is your beloved?"

"My what? No, Seven is a member of my crew," stumbled Janeway feeling her cheeks grow very warm.

"But I’ve seen how you both look at each other and it is evident that you both have feelings for each other. I can feel it. I sense in you a loneliness that is almost unbearable and I sense in her a frustration that while I may not know its origin, I know that it is there. Do you not feel it?" asked Keth.

"It is not appropriate for me to engage myself in relationships with members of my crew, Keth. We have a protocol that as Captain, I must follow."

"Then perhaps you are a foolish captain. You need to seek out Seven. You need to listen to your feelings and pay attention to what your soul is trying to tell you. It is all well and good to have your technology that helps you with solving problems, but what good is all your technology when you are so alone? And I sense an ache in you that is borne from being alone," insisted Keth. "Is it because you both are female and that is not allowed in your culture?"

"No, that is not the reason. There are standards I must uphold," Kathryn declared.

"But these standards that you speak of are not healthy for you if it means that you are denying yourself something which is essential to all life," insisted Keth.

"I don’t have the luxury of becoming involved. It is my duty to make certain that my crew gets home and to do that, I cannot allow myself to be anything but alone."

"There is an element of tedium that accompanies your choice and which contributes to your separateness. I do not know your crew but I would think that they would prefer their Captain to be contented as opposed to being so isolated. Perhaps you need to consider that your crew has more compassion then you give them credit," Keth pointed out.

"You do believe in being brutally honest, and while I am grateful for that and for not sharing this in front of Seven, I must abide by the principles that I have chosen. Please, wake me in the morning and let me assist with the food preparation or whatever I can do to help," she said rising to her feet.

Kathryn had assumed the posture of Captain and while her tone of voice revealed as much, inside she felt as though this woman had seen something that even Kathryn was afraid to admit. While it left her feeling uncomfortably vulnerable, there was a tiny voice inside that wanted to be heard, that wanted to ask how she might proceed.

"Kathryn, consider what we have spoken about. You have a long journey ahead of you, as you say, and you must know that sharing it with someone you care about can ease many burdens. And I speak from experience. I gave up what would have been a wonderful opportunity to share my life with someone I really cared for. Instead I chose a different path and unfortunately, I discovered that fact too late and I could not alter my decision. They decided to seek their fortunes elsewhere," Keth shook her head sadly. "Do not follow my mistake."

"I will consider your words, Keth. And again, thank you for your graciousness and hospitality".

"One other question, if you please. How are we able to understand each other so well? Surely our languages are different."

"I have a device that automatically translates universal sounds and frequencies. It uses those concepts as a basis for translation so that we can understand each other." Janeway replied. She was sure that sharing this bit of information would not damage the natural order of this society.

"I see. What a marvelous device. You must have a very interesting life aboard this vessel of yours. It is no wonder that the Taborians wish to leave our home and travel between the stars. They are a treacherous lot, however, and if they do find their way into space, then I will not be sorry to see them go."

"Keth, have the Taborians always lived on this planet?" inquired Kathryn.

"No, the historical guilds of our world recorded that at one time our planet was very simple until the Taborians settled the region where their cities now are. The Taborians came from off-world, let’s see, close to five hundred years ago, and in the beginning they chose to stay in that one area. However, their abilities and their use of resources, which we had never fully utilized, influenced our whole world and our way of life. We have many things now that we never had before because of them. We used to use beasts such as the Backku for transportation and now we have motorized vehicles that can take us further distances in less time. We have ways of communicating over long distances that we never had before. And, our lives are more comfortable thanks to their efforts. We have certain commodities that make our lives easier perhaps, but it seems that we may have progressed too quickly.

I think your Prime Directive must have its usefulness considering the fact that the Taborians may have altered the natural order of this world. Many of us are beginning to wonder at what price these luxuries are costing, however. There seems to be unrest in the cities which is why I want to go with you tomorrow. I would not like to consider what might happen to you and Seven of Nine and Harry Kim were you to be arrested. I have known of people who were and they were not ever heard from again. So you see, Kathryn, you might say that they did not have your Prime Directive when they came here," admitted Keth. "And as I said before, they suddenly became greedy, perhaps because of what the muoline offered them."

"That may be. There must be something that is vitally important to them to go to such lengths to protect this element. Since we are here only to determine if there is a correlation between the muoline and what caused the systems on my ship to malfunction, please be assured that we will not interfere. Thank you for that information, though. It’s been most helpful and I will appreciate your help in the morning, Keth."

"Sleep well, Kathryn."

Kathryn slowly climbed the stairs toward the room that she and Seven were sharing with thoughts buzzing about in her head. She knew that much of what Keth had spoken to her about was true…she did feel so alone and it was tedious to always have to be the one to set the standards of conduct. And, were she to be honest with herself, she knew that she was feeling a growing attraction for Seven, an attraction that excited her and yet, caused her great concern as well. It was a dilemma that faced many a Starfleet Captain.

Ah, Katie, that is why you are the Captain. You knew that when you signed on for command and there is no use whining about your choice at this stage, she berated herself.

She had told her crew that adherence to the protocols set forth by Starfleet was what would pull them through many of the scrapes that they had endured. She remembered the speech she gave to her command staff soon after the incident with the Kazon factions and the Trabe and she still believed it to be true. Starfleet had set forth those protocols to assist any crew in whatever situation they might find themselves and although Voyager’s circumstances were indeed different from any other starship from the Alpha Quadrant, Kathryn continued to have steadfast faith in them. She had to. It was the only way she could see herself getting her crew home and that was the ultimate goal that she had set for herself and for her crew.

Still, the woman in the room on the other side of the door was someone very special. Kathryn had been witness to a developing humanity about Seven that was at once appealing and enlightening for it gave Kathryn the opportunity to examine her own self and how she felt about certain preconceived ideas that she maintained to be true. Kathryn knew that Seven had awakened a longing for intimacy that she believed had been buried so deeply that nothing could ever touch it again. Kathryn realized that when she and Chakotay had been set apart from the crew because of their deadly disease, she had allowed the briefest of temptations to rise to his offer of lowering the barriers between them, but it had been she, Kathryn Janeway, who had kept those barriers raised.

When Kathryn opened the door the first thing she noticed was the subdued lighting. Seven had left one lamp burning near the doorway, which immediately cast the rest of the room into shadow. It appeared that Seven was in bed and already asleep and although this was frustrating to Kathryn, she was willing to forego any conversation with her when she was unsure of what she could say to the woman.

Do I have feelings for Seven and I am simply denying them? Don’t forget, Katie, wasn’t it you who kissed her on New Years Eve? she asked herself.

Then she remembered Keth’s words… ‘But I have seen how you both look at each other and it is obvious that you both have feelings’.

Kathryn lain awake for a long time thinking of everything that Keth had said to her and tried to analyze how she felt about Seven. It was true that this woman stirred something very deep within her. She always looked forward to their sporting matches and when she admitted it to herself, she knew that it was not just because Seven was such a formidable opponent. Kathryn knew that she also looked forward to the sessions that Seven initiated that always seemed to be impromptu. Seven would simply drop by Kathryn’s quarters unannounced with a question that always led to long discussions and debates that forced Kathryn to keep pace with her. Often times Kathryn would become so aggravated with Seven because of her logic and how she perceived Starfleet regulations as being so stiff and unyielding. Kathryn had to smile at that last thought, remembering how unyielding Seven had been at the beginning. She realized that Seven had traveled further in her quest for humanity than anyone else she had ever met.

It was at these times that Kathryn relished their relationship. It was beginning to develop into a friendship based upon a certain level of give and take. Even though there was an element of competition that the games fostered, there was more to their relationship than that. Kathryn knew that she had found someone who could force her to uphold the edicts of Starfleet or begin to look at them in new and refreshing ways. Tuvok was the only other person on board ship that Kathryn felt she could verbally ‘spar’ with and she had to work very hard to muster enough logic in her exchanges with him. Yet, Kathryn knew that there was a difference between how she felt for Seven and how she felt for Tuvok.

It had been Seven in the beginning who had been stubborn about reacquiring her humanity. Now, only a few years later it was she who was demanding that Kathryn advocate her search for humanity and in doing so, ultimately insisting that Kathryn be the role model for her. Realizing this thrilled Kathryn because she knew she had won a major battle in helping Seven disconnect from all that was Borg, save for the implants. When the Doctor had informed Kathryn that all of them could not be removed without costing Seven her life, Kathryn had been aghast. She knew that Seven would always remain part Borg part Human and yet, it was that combination that she found to be so attractive. And Seven was attractive, especially as she laid there peacefully sleeping, one arm bent at an angle above her head, her hair fanning out across the pillow. Seven was more than just attractive; she was desirable. And these were the thoughts that whirled about in Kathryn’s head before sleep was finally able to embrace her.

Seven knew that Kathryn had lain awake for a long time; she was able to discern the differences in Kathryn’s rate of respiration and knew when she had finally succumbed to sleep. She had feared that when Kathryn returned from her conference with Keth that she would be expected to explain her odd behavior before she had retreated outside. She had required some degree of distance from Kathryn and could not explain the oddness of her behavior because she did not understand it herself. Seven was beginning to query how she felt about Kathryn and she realized that her feelings were beginning to change. Kathryn had always been her Captain, her mentor, the center of her search for her own humanity.

But, Kathryn had been physically demonstrative with her regarding her pleasure over the Christmas gift, the kiss on New Year’s eve, and even on this away mission. She remembered the holding of hands beneath the blanket, the way Kathryn held her in her arms as they danced, the feathery touch of Kathryn’s lips against her own and it caused the aching to begin again. Seven was uncertain what all this meant, especially when Kathryn insisted that she had to remain separate from her crew and could not indulge in behavior that was not according to Starfleet protocol. She was caught in a dilemma and found that she could not ask for Kathryn’s assistance with this. The dilemma was Kathryn.

I cannot explain myself to her when I do not know what is wrong with me. I am not functioning as I should be and all of my attempts to tell myself that I am Borg and that this hollow feeling in my abdomen is irrelevant have been wasted. I still feel strange. I know that I feel better now that Kathryn has returned but I am still not functioning correctly. There is this feeling deep within me, it does not hurt but it is a strong aching. I am Borg. These feelings are irrelevant. I have identified this aching as a longing to be in Kathryn’s arms. No! I am Borg. These feelings are irrelevant. I am Borg. These feelings are irrelevant was the mantra that Seven replayed to herself before she finally surrendered to sleep.

* * * * * TO BE CONTINUED * * * * *