New Discoveries

Part 4

Keth led them to a guild house located on the outskirts of Dolamon. The proprietress was a rather large woman with ruddy cheeks and a laugh that made her whole body shake. She was pleasantly surprised to see Keth and welcomed the trio into the house while making a fuss over her. She had to be certain that Keth was being well cared for ‘back in those remote parts’. Keth was genuinely glad to see Doria, the proprietress of this guild house, and introduced Kathryn and Seven as being from Shimale in the Soborian Mountains. Doria seemed to accept this without any indication that anything was amiss. She led them into the kitchen area and Kathryn noted that this house too, boasted of a large kitchen with a table seating twenty-five or more people. There were several appliances for the purpose of food preparation and it was obvious by the way she clucked over her guests, making every attempt to attend to their nutritional needs, that Doria enjoyed this room. She immediately went to the stove to pour four goblets of a steaming liquid and offered the refreshment to her guests. The brew smelled similarly to coffee and Kathryn drank it greedily. Seven left hers untouched.

"Oh it is wonderful to have you back in Dolamon … it has been too many seasons, Keth. What are you trading for these days?" inquired Doria.

"The usual. I’m always looking for interesting cloths I can take back to the weavers’ guild and sell. I found a particularly interesting woolen bolt I’m sure Oran will enjoy. It will make a fine overshirt for this winter," she explained.

"And Kathryn and Seven. You have come a fair distance to our city. Is this your first time to visit Dolamon?" Doria asked.

"Yes, it is," answered Kathryn.

"Well you’re certainly welcome to stay here for as long as you wish," Doria said with a large smile that lit her eyes. "We have many interesting sites to visit and I’m sure you’ll find much that is worthwhile. Or are you here for the work?"

Kathryn and Keth had worked out a suitable explanation for she and Seven to be visiting Dolamon at this time of year. The last of the harvests had ended only days prior and now was the time for most of the guilds to display their wares garnering as much profit as they might before the winter storms set in. Keth believed that Kathryn and Seven’s cover story of being in the city for the Festival of Gatherings was basically a sound one. Kathryn had readily agreed and all three women adhered to that story.

"You will discover that on the street of the bazaars, there are indeed, the best opportunities for good barter. You’re a bit late for the best wares, but, you shall find suitable items, I’m sure," Doria smiled. "And there is so much to do here. Did you bring anything to trade?"

"No," replied Kathryn.

"Ah, more’s the pity then. I do like to see what my guests have to trade before they barter it away. It helps me think I’m getting a good deal," she winked and began to giggle. "Perhaps you and Seven would prefer to freshen up before dinner? Doria and I have much news and tales to swap. I fear it might bore you," Keth told Kathryn.

"That would be wonderful. Thank you," Kathryn replied.

"Shall I show you to your rooms then?" Doria inquired.

"Doria, I want that little room that you always like to put me in down at the end of the hall. Perhaps you could give Seven and Kathryn the room next to mine?" Keth suggested.

"Of course! Dinner will be served just as soon as the women from the mines finish their shift. The last batch just left so our wait shouldn’t be too long." To Seven and Kathryn she added, "I hope you like roast stobbath. It’s one of my favorites and this particular batch I received a while back has been most flavorful."

"I’m sure whatever you serve will be delicious," Kathryn acknowledged.

She showed the three women to their rooms and Kathryn was surprised to see theirs was much the same as the room she and Seven had shared last night at Keth’s. Was that only last night? Kathryn thought. Doria and Keth disappeared behind the door of Keth’s room and sounds of giggling and raucous laughter could be heard coming from their direction.

Seven immediately sat at the table; her knees together and hands folded neatly in her lap. She appeared as uncomfortable as before and Kathryn went over and sat at the table with her. She looked at Seven and that moment wanted to reach up and cup her face in her hands and let her know that everything was going to be fine. Seven returned her gaze and both women sat silently for a few moments before Seven felt the need to break the silence.

"Kathryn, why am I here and not back on board Voyager helping to analyze the muoline?" she asked directly.

"It would seem that Keth extended her hospitality for another evening. Seven, I can’t force you to stay here, but I would like it if you would. Besides, the Captain shouldn’t be left without some security personnel and with your Borg enhancements, I can’t imagine being safer with anyone else."

"I will comply, Kathryn. I just thought I would be of more use to you on board Voyager analyzing the data."

"Besides, if you are having misgivings about Keth, I would prefer that you remain planetside while we continue our investigation. At this point, I don’t know who is friend or foe, except for you."

"Agreed."

"I was hoping that we might have the conversation we manage to keep putting off," Janeway answered, a smile touching the corners of her mouth and eyes.

Dinner was a mixture of delightful conversation with a variety of women who had traveled to Dolamon for an assortment of reasons including trading goods and services, looking for employment, visiting with family members, and even the simple reason of just wanting to get away from their daily lifestyle. All agreed there were opportunities for commercial investments one could not find anywhere else several of the women claimed they wished to be considered for space faring adventures when the time came. Already there had been notices posted advertising a colonization program, according to one of the women.

"I figure that there will be lots of men out there in space and where there are men there is the need for wives, ladies!" the woman exclaimed causing others to giggle.

It seemed to Kathryn that many of these women were hopeful of being considered for the colonization program when the time came. Two or three of the women launched into a fairly unabashed discussion of sexual practices aboard a space travelling vehicle.

Janeway had all she could do to remain silent. She noticed Seven watching her out of the corner of her eye appearing almost amused by the women’s conversation. Kathryn didn’t think that Seven had been exposed to such bawdiness between women while on board Voyager and she wondered what Seven thought of such a straightforward conversation.

Seven was careful not to imbibe any of the crael choosing instead to drink water with her meal. Alcoholic beverages simply didn’t agree with her and she did not want to lose control of herself or her faculties. That had happened once before and she had detested the results. Besides, she was actually enjoying these women and Kathryn certainly seemed amused by much of their conversation. Kathryn had consumed only a couple of the goblets of crael but already her cheeks had heightened color and her eyes seemed to glow when she looked at Seven.

Kathryn had the oddest expression on her face when her eyes met Seven’s creating a warmth that permeated across her chest and abdomen, giving Seven that same strange sensation as before. She would have to seek the Doctor’s attention as soon as she returned to Voyager. She was certain that somehow her nanoprobes were causing a malfunction with her abdominal implants and she would have to have them modified.

The feeling persisted and intensified each time Kathryn looked at her with those steel blue eyes and although it was not painful, it caused Seven some concern. She needed to be able to function if she was to assist her Captain and at this moment, she was having a difficult time maintaining a normal breathing rhythm. She was aware her rate of respiration had increased eighteen percent and that this feeling in her abdomen had not abated. Somehow, she had been damaged and would need attention as soon as she returned to Voyager. For now she would simply have to adapt to these feelings that continued to amplify.

The dinner concluded and several of the women had chosen to depart for the evening in search of entertainment in the downtown area. Doria reminded them of the pending storm later in the evening and not to be caught outdoors. A few of the women giggled, assuring her they had plans otherwise. Others preferred the quietness of the library on the third floor and still others wished to enjoy music and a round or two of a card game. Keth had opted for the library and Kathryn realized she needed to contact her ship. She and Seven excused themselves and climbed the stairs to their room. Once inside, Kathryn asked Seven to listen for anyone who might pass by their door while she contacted the ship.

"Janeway to Voyager."

"Yes, Captain. We have been expecting your hail." It was Tuvok. Janeway almost let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Tuvok. What is happening with the sample that Harry brought aboard?" she inquired.

"Lieutenant Torres claims that although there is nothing in the data base to suggest that we have ever come across this element before, she has inferred that it is similar to Jakmanite."

"Jakmanite! That would explain much."

"Indeed, Captain. As you know the ship’s internal sensors cannot detect Jakmanite and its half-life is only fifteen seconds. It causes nucleosynthesis in silicon, which is similar to what has happened with several of the tests that Lieutenant Torres has conducted. As eacIn each test performed a sub-system malfunctioned. However, all scans indicated that the system was indeed on line and maintaining. Power was rerouted to the secondary systems in order to maintain current operating levels. I believe that you may have found the cause of our predicament; however, we have not discovered a way to counteract the effects of the muoline, Captain," Tuvok emphasized.

"Understood. Keep me informed of their progress. Has the second away team reported in yet?"

"Indeed they have. Mr. Alejandro is here and has been anxiously awaiting your hail."

"Report, Mr. Alejandro."

"Captain, it would seem that Seven’s suspicions about Kyra are confirmed," the ensign began. "According to McNeil and Davis, she met with two men who were members of the security guild based on the insignias seen on their outer wear. Although they were unable to get close enough to hear, Davis is excellent at lip reading. It would seem that Kyra is pretty frustrated at not knowing where you and Seven are at this moment. Apparently she tried to follow you but without success."

"Were they able to discern any of her plans?"

"There was too much interference from people on the street blocking his line of sight for the entire conversation, Captain. He did discover that one of the men was in disagreement about sending out a search party for you. He seemed to think that there would be ample opportunity to apprehend you when you contact Larick in the morning," Alejandro replied.

"And what of your efforts, Ensign?"

"Well, you were right; there are two very distinct and separate factions that are arguing over the muoline and what to do with it. I had the chance to have a drink with a fellow who was pretty outspoken about how wonderful it was going to be for the Taborians to finally leave this planet and go home. There is a huge effort at convincing the Taborians that re-colonization of their home world is what they need to do. What’s odd about this, though, is that he doesn’t know where the home world is. Apparently, no one does for certain. He just knows the historical record keepers continuously talk about the fact they must return home and this muoline is going to be their means.

"According to this fellow, the other faction seems to believe that the muoline may not be the best energy source because people are getting sick. He is aware of an underground movement to halt the production of the ore and I got the distinct impression that he would turn anyone in to the security guild that he suspected of belonging to the underground. He didn’t believe any of the reports that the movement had issued and even offered me a job working in the mine in case I needed it."

"Glad you didn’t take it. I need you right where you are," Janeway replied.

"One other thing he alluded to; he kept referring to what I think is a launch date set for just a few days from now. And, I believe the muoline is what is going to be used for the fuel source."

"Good work. Do you think you can find this same fellow again tomorrow?"

"I think he frequents this particular tavern every day around the same time. So, yes, I think I can find him."

"Keep him talking. See if you can get him to offer any more information about the muoline and the launch date. I don’t want Voyager picked up on any scans that they may have developed."

"Aye aye, Captain."

"Tuvok, tell the doctor I want him working with B’Elanna on the sample we were able to procure. We have to know how to counter the effects of this substance and render it harmless to our systems."

"Am I to understand that you and Seven will not be returning to the ship, Captain?" he asked with no emotion evident in his voice.

Janeway’s cheeks colored nonetheless and Seven noticed that Kathryn did not answer immediately. Kathryn looked at Seven, took a breath and answered.

"We’ll remain on the planet for one more night. Inform Chakotay that he can play Captain for a little while longer."

"Captain?" he asked.

"Just a joke, Tuvok. Chakotay will understand. Seven and I are learning much from these people and in the interests of anthropology and sociology, we need to stay just a little while longer."

"Understood, Captain. Do you require anything?"

"No, I don’t think so. Tell B’Elanna and Harry to keep working on the countermeasures and we’ll keep trying to find any additional information that may help. Janeway out."

Silence suddenly enveloped the room and Kathryn found that she felt flustered. As long as she had been talking with Tuvok about ship’s business, she was in command; she was in control. Now, it was just she and Seven and she suddenly felt unsure of herself. She had discovered during dinner how much she enjoyed watching Seven and knew that Seven had been watching her. She had allowed herself to drink a bit more than she might have but Kathryn figured that it helped her to feel more relaxed. Now, all of that relaxation had dissipated and with it much of her resolve.

Instead, she felt like a schoolgirl on her first date, which was silly because she and Seven were not on a date at all. They were on an away mission and were here to gather information about what had happened to her ship. That same information might be useful in assisting the Taborians to overcome the ill effects from the muoline, she reminded herself. Kathryn knew she had a job to do, but when she looked at Seven and realized that she was delighted they were spending another night away from Voyager and her crew, she felt lightheaded. Kathryn knew deep in her soul that much of what Keth had said to her rang true. Why else would there be that fluttering sensation in her lower abdomen that became such an ache? When she gazed into Seven’s eyes, Kathryn knew if she could allow herself a modicum of freedom, that perhaps, just perhaps, a relationship between them could flourish.

"It would appear that Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim have been successful with the examination of the muoline element," Seven began, tearing Kathryn from her brief reverie. "Do you still wish for me to remain here with you, Captain?"

Here was Kathryn’s chance to let her return to the ship, security protocols be damned. She knew that if Seven departed for Voyager, she would lose an opportunity that might not present itself for a very long time and Kathryn wasn't sure if she wanted to risk that. She knew that there were policies in place regarding fraternization and that other Star Fleet captains had bent the rules. Could she bend them as well? Should she?

"I would like it if you would stay, Seven", she heard herself saying.

"Then I will comply, Kathryn," Seven responded so softly that Kathryn wasn’t sure she had even heard Seven say anything.

The wind began howling outside their windows. It appeared a storm was not only brewing but had found its way into Dolamon and earlier than anticipated. The city would be its home for the next few hours. Ice crystals appeared in the glass panes forming mosaic patterns and Seven found comfort in tracing the patterns with her forefinger. There was order in each pattern and Seven realized that she needed that at this moment. She was aware of the ache that had suddenly returned and she continued to have difficulty regulating her breathing. She needed to be at her best if she was to be her Captain’s security. Seven found herself repeating a silent phrase "feeling are irrelevant".

Kathryn discovered she was shivering despite the warmth in the room. Seven went to retrieve a blanket off the bed, folding it around Kathryn's shoulders. Kathryn glanced at her and smiled, sending a tremor through Seven, making her breath catch.

"I shall return with something hot to drink," Seven announced, turning on her heels and quickly exiting the room.

Kathryn was left with her thoughts. She needed to ferret out the best approach to use with Seven regarding how to initiate a conversation that might open the door to something more than friendship. Kathryn was befuddled. She heard in her mind a dialogue begin but shook her head knowing that it all sounded sophomoric at the very least. She knew they shared similar interests and that Seven viewed her as a student might regard a mentor. Was she being fair by trying to vie for more than that?

Kathryn realized that aside from the age difference between the two women, Seven had a limited range of knowledge regarding human behaviors. Conversely, she had a wealth of knowledge of cultures Kathryn had neither awareness of nor experience with.

She knew that Chakotay and others had developed romantic relationships.

The door opened suddenly and there stood Seven holding two steaming mugs of a beverage that Janeway hoped was coffee or at least a satisfying imitation of it. Seven brought them to the table and sat down opposite Kathryn once again assuming a perfect posture. Kathryn held the warm mug between her hands and looked over the rim at Seven, wishing suddenly that she could cradle her face like she was cradling the mug.

"Kathryn, is it taboo in your culture for women to have relationships with women instead of with men?" Seven abruptly asked, causing Kathryn to almost drop the mug she had been holding so tightly.

Kathryn was at a loss for words momentarily. She had to consider the origin of this question and wondered if Keth and been speaking to Seven about her impressions concerning the two of them. She also wondered if Seven had picked up any signals that Kathryn might have inadvertently sent. She frowned slightly.

"What makes you ask about this?" Kathryn asked carefully.

"When I was speaking with Keth concerning another matter, she asked the same question of me and I could not provide her with an acceptable answer," Seven replied simply.

Kathryn began to explain.

"A long time ago in the history of Earth’s humanity, it was considered to be an aberration for people to become romantically and sexually involved with members of their own sex. There was a tremendous amount of religious dogma that made it difficult for persons wishing same sex relationships to feel comfortable enough to express those feelings. Consequently their lives remained hidden. They were discouraged from leading open lives where they could proclaim that this choice was right for them."

"Why?"

"You would need to understand the evolution of humanity on Earth, Seven. Look in Voyager’s database, which refers to homosexuals and lesbians and how they were persecuted, how they suffered discrimination from a variety of sources. Many were disconnected from family and friends because of how they chose to lead their lives. Some were banished from their community. Many lost their livelihood and their lives. There is evidence that it was illegal to openly profess one’s commitment to their same-sex partner. It was a terrible time in our history."

"You are saying that it is different now?" inquired Seven, her tone one of frankness.

"Yes, it is. We don’t judge people based upon whom they choose to be involved with. Our society has developed an openness, I think, because of all the worlds we’ve had the chance to explore. We have been able to reach beyond our own world and embrace many cultures that have different customs and morays and because of this, humans have had to let go of assumptions that were erroneous," Kathryn explained.

"Explain. What kinds of assumptions?"

"Well, that same sex couples could not adequately raise a family. That it took a person of the opposite sex to satisfy the needs of an individual. That it…."

"Needs? Please specify."

"All kinds, Seven. Humans have a variety of needs that can be fulfilled by someone they care about."

"How does one know when their needs are being fulfilled by someone?" Seven asked looking directly at Janeway.

"I would imagine that it depends upon the person and what they needed."

"Do you have needs that are not being fulfilled?"

Although the question was the logical extension of where this conversation had been heading, Kathryn was still unprepared for it. Her stomach felt as though had it been a warp core, it would have suddenly breached. Her heart pounded; her breathing suddenly became ragged. She had allowed this conversation to progress and she knew that a part of her had known all along where it was leading and still, she didn’t try to stop it. Now, Seven sat with those clear blue eyes staring at her, waiting for an answer, her posture still so perfect. Kathryn found that she was searching for an appropriate answer. She had never known anyone quite like Seven before and although she enjoyed the relationship, there were times such as these, when even Kathryn felt overwhelmed by Seven’s directness.

"I suppose that I do. I would think that everyone does to some extent," Kathryn answered evenly trying to maintain some degree of control.

Kathryn knew that she was trying to divert the conversation away from her and doubted she would succeed. Once Seven began a line of questioning, it was difficult to move her away from her objective. Kathryn was fairly adept in most instances at maneuvering the conversation in the direction she wanted, but it did not appear that tonight would be one of those nights. How could Kathryn have ever thought she was going to be the one to open any avenue of discussion? That thought brought a smile to her face.

"Do I amuse you, Captain?" asked Seven raising an eyebrow.

"I was thinking that I wanted to broach the subject of your dating, but as usual, you seem to anticipate me. And you seem to turn the tables around. How do you do that, Seven?" Kathryn asked with some exasperation.

" I think that you do not wish to acknowledge that you have unfulfilled needs, Kathryn. You would not expect that of any other crewmember, yet you assume that because you are the Captain, you must not allow others to assist you."

"Yes, I do."

"You asked me before if I enjoyed my ‘date’ and I told you that I did not because I was attempting to meet the expectations of others. I am aware that the Doctor, in all of his attempts to offer assistance, failed to provide me with the information that I could ‘date’ women. That option was not given to me and I believe I understand the reasoning."

"Oh? And why is that?" asked Kathryn.

"I do not believe that there are any men on board Voyager with whom I can establish an equal relationship. None can meet my needs," she proclaimed with such finality. "However, it may be possible for me to develop a relationship with a member of Voyager who is my intellectual equal and who can, therefore, meet my needs at other levels. I do not believe that the Doctor wished for me to discover this. In my recollections of other species that the Borg assimilated, some of them involved same sex coupling. Although that behavior was not for the purpose of procreation, it was for the purpose of maintaining a social and emotional relationship endowed with meeting many other needs. My knowledge of many cultures is quite expansive, Kathryn."

"I see that you’ve devoted some time contemplating this, Seven," Janeway remarked with a wry grin.

"Indeed. I have been attempting to learn as much as I could about human relationships. I agreed to the Doctor’s tutoring because you wanted me to learn social customs among humans. When I first came aboard Voyager after you severed my link to the collective, I asked Mr. Kim is he wished to copulate because I knew that he looked at me as an object of his lust. That may have met his need, although it would not have met mine. He declined without necessarily saying much about my offer, something I found amusing in some ways."

"I seem to remember some reference to that," Kathryn said quietly.

"However, now I believe that you may need some of the Doctor’s instructions since you do not allow yourself the same latitude in developing a relationship," Seven asserted.

Kathryn found that Seven’s last assertion left her shifting uncomfortably in her chair. It was one thing to have a philosophical discussion with Seven, quite another to be placed in a position having to defend the protocols of Starfleet and her own opinions on such matters. As long as she had known Seven, she knew that the woman was nothing if not direct with her declarations. She realized that Seven did not always abide by protocols; they meant little to her. She also realized that she would have to be as diplomatic as possible in discussing matters of a more personal nature with Seven.

"Seven, it is not a question of satisfying my physical needs. I am the Captain and I have to set the tone of proper decorum for my crew. My goal is to get this crew home to the Alpha Quadrant and it doesn’t really matter whether or not I have a relationship along the way. Such is my lot for the next however many years it takes," Janeway admitted.

Janeway knew that she was being emphatic and even as the words left her mouth, she knew that they rang false. She knew that she was very tired of being alone and wondered if any members of her senior staff had noticed how desperately lonely she felt at times. She was closer to them than anyone else on board.

"I do not believe you, Kathryn."

"No, I suppose you don’t. It doesn’t really matter if you believe me or not, Seven."

"Yes, it does. I am a member of this collective, this crew, because I choose to be. You took me from the Borg and I fought against you until you demonstrated to me that regaining some of my humanity could be an opportunity. I have learned that being human means that one has certain … feelings … and that those feelings can be expressed."

"I agree, Seven."

"Then why is it that you choose to remain alone on board a ship where you might otherwise find companionship? It is not logical, Kathryn."

"I have already explained that to you. As Captain, I must remain separate from the crew. The command staff is probably the closest thing I have to a family, but even they are only allowed to get so close," Kathryn indicated a distance between her thumb and forefinger. "Tuvok is my oldest friend on board ship and although he knows much about me, there are still things he does not know."

"Then I have lost," Seven said with a shrug of her shoulders looking away.

"What do you mean, Seven?"

"I have lost the only person on board Voyager with whom I wish to have a relationship. You will not avail yourself to building a relationship with me and therefore, I have lost my only opportunity," she replied with such finality and sadness.

Kathryn leaned closer to Seven and took her hands in her own. Despite the difference in their height and mass, Janeway held those hands in an iron grip with a fierce determination to not let go. She knew at that moment that she had entered a crossroads, a nexus of her spirit and that she could pretend no longer. This was her first real step and she was determined to make certain that she got it right. She could not allow Seven to believe that she had lost an opportunity that she was presenting not only to herself but also to Kathryn.

"Yes, we can," Janeway said very quietly as she leaned even closer to her and with unwavering resolve, placed her lips upon Seven's. She delicately kept her lips in contact as though tasting the most delectable treat. Kathryn savored this feeling, the pleasant taste, the touch, and found she yearned for more, inhaling deeply.

 * * * * * TO BE CONTINUED * * * * *