Technobabble

It's amazing how we take some really rather spectacular technology for granted, thought Kathryn Janeway one morning. And how the sudden lack of that technology can change your life completely.

As it had hers.

As recently as the evening before.

That, and a startlingly bizarre set of coincidences.

The day had started out much like any other in the delta quadrant, well perhaps a little better than most. For once Voyager wasn't in danger of hostile take over, distortions in sub-space were generally leaving them well alone and they hadn't encountered any psychosis-inducing nebulae for well over a standard Terran month.

Even better, supplies were plentiful, dilithium abundant and the crew were acting like a happy and harmonious unit. Possibly this was due to that fact that Voyager was currently in orbit around a charming M Class planet that boasted a warm climate and a delightful variety of flora and fauna.

In an act of compassion that she was occasionally known for, the Captain had granted shore leave for everyone and Voyager was operating on skeleton shifts. B'Elanna Torres was so moved by the gesture that she went so far as to grant the ships resident ex-Borg permission to perform an upgrade of the communications system.

And then left the ship before the bio-waste hit the environmental controls.

Determined to get into the spirit of the thing, Seven of Nine decided to follow star fleet protocols that morning, and sent out a ship-wide memo to the effect that as part of the upgrade process the comm badges would not be functioning normally for a while, and that until further notice the crew should utilise the communications panels that were available on every deck.

Naturally some of the crew forgot from time to time, it was only to be expected.

The good Captain herself had tapped her comm badge and vocalised a request, to be met with utter silence more than once.

But for the most part, the ship and its crew continued to function adequately.

Sixteen hundred hours found Captain Janeway at the end of her shift and in her quarters. Feeling a little at a loose end, she decided to invite Seven of Nine for a game of Velocity.

Her fingers were on her badge and the "Janeway to ..." past her lips before she could stop herself.

It was unfortunate for the Captain that at that very moment two things happened. One - Seven partially reactivated the comm badge routines, and two - the Captain was interrupted by a chirrup from a padd.

Captain Janeway crossed over to her desk, picked up the padd and read the message. It was a report from engineering indicating that the communications system would be fully operational by nineteen hundred hours that evening.

Which meant that Seven wouldn't be available until at least then. The Captain sighed and decided to contact her later. Right now, she would have to find something else to do with all the extra energy she seemed to have at the moment.

Meanwhile, amongst the routines that Seven had reactivated, was the voice recognition software and at that moment the computer was waiting attentively for the Captain to continue her communication. In normal circumstances, communication requests time out after 30 seconds.

Alas for the Captain, that supplemental routine had not yet been initiated, and so the comm link stayed open and the computer waited.

And attempted to translate every sound captured by Janeways comm badge into a crewmembers name.

Although she would never know it, the Captain had had extraordinarily good luck when Voyager first arrived at the caretakers array. Another day later and it was entirely likely that they would not have met Mr Neelix, but rather his distant cousin Phuqminouw.

Events would have turned out quite differently under those circumstances.

Some twenty minutes later and Captain Janeway was reclining on her sofa reading a novel of a type which could best be defined as erotica. Which rather than helping her relax, seemed to actually be adding to her reserves of excess energy.

Although the novel was quite evocative, Janeway found the prose a little on the flowery side for her liking - she generally preferred this sort of material to be a little, well, earthier.

Frustrated in more ways than one, the Captain decided to put "Passionfruit Forest" to one side and conjure up her own fantasy. Before long, she had fantasised a nice little scenario and was well on her way to full arousal. Her hand was also well on its way to the fly of her trousers.

A few minutes elapsed in which Janeway excited herself further with thought and touch. And then, as her fantasy got a little raunchier, she flipped over so that she was kneeling on the sofa, her face pressed into the cushioned arm and her hand busy at work between her legs.

"Mmmmph" she moaned.

"Ohhh, yeah, fuck me now.", a little muffled by her hair and the cushion.

"Ahhh, that's ... heaven"

Finally, the computer had something it could work with and a message was duly despatched.

Since the last of the upgrade processes were on the verge of completing, the final task of activating of the communications relays in the crew cabins was in progress, Voyagers Astrometrics officer was en route to the Captains quarters to present her with the final report, when her comm badge chirped to indicate an incoming message.

"Janeway to s ... heaven."

Seven of Nine wondered if the communications upgrade had been as successful as she had thought, the Captains voice sounded a little distorted. Dutifully she replied.

"Go ahead Captain."

The fact that the cabin relays on the Captains deck had not yet been reactivated mattered naught as far as the computer was concerned. Communication had been established and would not be terminated until either participant requested it.

Seven was two decks away by turbo lift, and in the one stroke of good fortune the Captain had up to this point, was completely alone. Certainly if any other crewmember had been in the vicinity they would have had a completely different reaction than an ex-Borg drone.

As it was, Seven thought Janeway sounded in distress, and she hastened to the Captains cabin with all possible speed. All while the computer efficiently relayed every sound from the Captains quarters.

"Mmmmmmph ... yes ... oh ... so good ... hah ... please ... now ... aaaaah ... ooooh ... I'm gonna ..."

Is was the Captains final misfortune that Seven was outside the Captains door and pressing the request for entry button, when she exclaimed

" ... COME ..."

Whatever Seven had expected to see on entering Janeways quarters, it was certainly not the tableaux before her. It's hard to say who was more startled - Seven for seeing her Captain kneeling on the sofa with her naked bottom in the air and her hand glistening. Or the Captain for having her orgasm interrupted by the very person she had been fantasizing about.

They regained the use of their vocal chords at the same time.

"Seven !, what ..."

"Captain !, I ..."

They tried again and Seven managed to get in first.

"Captain, the communications system is now completely on line."

Janeway noted that Sevens voice had echoed strangely in the room.

"So I see ... Janeway out."

They both fell silent for a moment. Janeway roughly pulled her trouser back up and sat with head in hands. Seven of Nine surreptitiously sniffed the air, and wasn't really surprised when she started to feel distinctly damp beneath her bio-suit. Never one to pass up a decent opportunity, she spoke.

"Captain, perhaps you could assist me. I believe you have just been practising the activity known as masturbation."

She didn't wait for the Captain to respond, but moved to stand directly in front of her.

"I have been wishing to experience sexuality for myself, but so far my experiments have been less than successful. I notice that you achieved orgasm and I wonder if perhaps you could offer me the benefit of your superior knowledge and technique."

Janeways head snapped up, and she stood and looked up into the eyes of her adored Seven of Nine, surprised at the depths of emotion that she saw there.

"Let me get this straight Seven, are you asking me to have sex with you ?"

Pale fingertips brushed softly against the Captains lips.

"I believe I would prefer it if you would make love to me, but I am aware that I would willingly accept whatever you chose to share with me."

"Oh, Seven"

A gentle touching of lips.

"I don't think there's anything or anyone that I've ever wanted more."

And it was then that the Captain discovered how easily she could be undone by a smile.

And shortly after how thoroughly she could be aroused with a kiss.

And later, how completely loved she could be by a former Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero-One.

The End