My Choice

Several weeks had gone by since the disastrous dating incident in the Captain’s quarters and still the four women were not speaking to each other. Rumors passed through the crew like water through a sieve. Many thought the Captain was secretly having an affair with each of the three woman and they had each found out about the others. Others surmised that the Captain was helping Seven practice her dating, only this time with B’Elanna and Ensign Kinsey. Of course, Tom Paris was spreading his own brand of gossip about wild orgies and sexual practices that would make even a Klingon blush. No one would ever believe it was an innocent attempt at match-making gone awry.

Thanksgiving had passed without celebration for the first time in six years on Voyager. Captain Janeway canceled all plans for future parties and had just this morning almost tossed Neelix from her Ready Room at the mention of the traditional Christmas Eve dinner that was only ten days away.

“I forbid it,” she screamed as Neelix tried to remind her that it was one of the few things the crew had to look forward to with yet another holiday away from home approaching. But try as he may, he could not convince the Captain to change her mind.

After Neelix sulked out of the Ready Room, the door chimed and Chakotay entered without waiting to be invited. He sat down across from the Captain and prepared to do battle with his friend and his superior.

“Do you really think we can go on like this?” he said, noticing that she had not even shown him the courtesy of turning her chair to face him. She sat staring through the portal at the passing stars.

“What are you whining about now?” she asked sarcastically.

“Don’t do this. You know what I mean.” Chakotay pleaded.

She turned to look at him then. The tone in his voice seemed to cut through all the haze. “I can’t give you what you want, Chakotay. It’s just not in me.”

He stood and came around the desk to kneel and grasp her hands in his. “Dammit, Kathryn. I need you, the crew needs you. You can’t keep this ship flying on autopilot. We can’t function without a Captain.”

She withdrew her hands from his grasp and pushed away from him. As she rose, she turned away from him, hiding the tears that began to well upon her lids. “I just can’t, Chakotay, I’m sorry.”

He thought about turning her around, forcing her to deal with the pain she was going through, but he just didn’t have the heart to inflict that upon her. He silently arose and backtracked the way he entered.

Once out on the bridge he avoided the hopeful eyes that yearned to see their Captain walk through that door. Chakotay wasn't imagining the sighs he heard went he exited the Ready Room alone. Everyone missed the Captain's presence. Even Ensign Paris was overheard commenting that the ship "just didn't fly right" without her in the Captain's chair.

The other departments weren't faring much better. In Engineering, B'Elanna was a bear. Constantly on a rampage and she reamed everyone over the tiniest miscalculations. Tuvok was at his wits end with his new security officer, Ensign Kinsey. She insisted on taking dangerous risks on away missions had to be reassigned to a different team as not to further endanger the lives of her squad. And Astrometics was quiet as a tomb. Seven of Nine spent endless hours there alone, calculating and recalculating any equation that she could find in the data banks. Often she pulled double shifts and would then return to her alcove to regenerate for eight hours. Once the cycle was complete, she would return to Astrometrics.

Chakotay sighed and gazed at the First Officer's chair next to him. He couldn't remember the last time he had occupied it. This was beginning to remind him of their passage through the void when the Captain chose to isolate herself for most of the journey. Only this time he had four unhappy crew members and the rest of the crew was feeling the strain in many more ways. He just hoped he could do something to help.

'Well, I'm just going to try Plan B,' he thought to himself. He punched a few keys on the console next to him and ordered Paris, Neelix, Tuvok, and Harry Kim to meet him in the conference room after their shifts ended.

**************

Five hours later the all-male meeting ended and Chakotay felt relieved. Instead of accepting the difficult situation that his Captain and crew members had put him in, he was trying to help....right a wrong even though he really had no idea what had gone wrong. He had heard the gossip, but chose to ignore it and not speculate until one of the parties involved decided to fill him in. So far, that had not happened. He felt especially disappointed that his old friend B'Elanna, with whom he fought many a battle in the Maquis days, had not sought him out to confide in. But hopefully soon this would all be put to an end. With the help of his co-conspirators, he had devised a "fool-proof" plan that at it's conclusion would result in the four women being friends again and dispelling all tension aboard the ship. At least that's how it was supposed to work. And for everyone's sanity, he prayed it would.

Tom caught Chakotay's arm as they were shuffling out the door. "Do you think this will work?" Tom asked seriously.

"It has to," Chakotay grimaced. "And if not, we may have to face a very grim holiday. But let's not think that way. If you follow the plan precisely, then it will work."

Tom grinned at his devilish role in all this. "You can count on me."

**************

Captain Janeway sighed as the time reached 1500 hours and her shift ended. For once she did not make excuses to continue working through the Beta shift, only to sleep and do it all again the next day. Most of the time she didn't even know what day it was....what did it matter anyway. Everyone hated her, Seven, Alex, B'Elanna, and even her crew was uncomfortable in her presence. It was easier to seclude herself in her Ready Room during the shift and then slink out the "back door" and return to her quarters where she would mope until the next morning. She wasn't sleeping and the Doctor refused to give her anything to help the insomnia stating she should work out her feelings and come to peace with the others. She hated when he got so philosophical. But tonight was different. She was going to replicate dinner, enjoy a good book and hot bubble bath. That should relax her enough to sleep.

Janeway exited the Ready Room through her private door into the hall and quickly ducked into the turbolift. She hadn't been going through the formality of giving the bridge over to the officer in charge of the Beta Shift, Chakotay was handling that. Chakotay.....he was certainly trying his best to convince her how "needed" she was. And yet he managed to make most of the daily decisions himself and kept the ship on course with ease. She wasn't needed.....she was just a figurehead. Maybe she should seriously think about giving command over to Chakotay on a permanent basis. Her heart just wasn't in it anymore.

Once in her quarters she stripped off her uniform and haphazardly shoved it into the recycler. She swore when she realized her pips were still on the uniform and she would have to replicate more of later. That was the second time this week she had done that. She turned and padded naked into her bathroom where she turned the faucet to hot and poured in a heaping amount of bubble bath. Strolling back into her bedroom she retrieved the book of poetry that she had been trying for a month to get through. Back in the bathroom she turned the water current to a small stream and sunk slowly into the bubbles, careful not to splash the book with any stray droplets.

 

As she began to read, steam slowly rose from the surface and drifted towards the ceiling, making the room appear hazy and dimly lit. The 19th century author, Emily Dickinson, was normally one of her favorites, but the only thing that was flashing through Kathryn's mind was the rumored affair that Emily had with her sister-in-law. Kathryn had come to terms with her sexual identity in the last few weeks of isolation and now she was very curious about the history of "her kind." She had done a lot of reading about lesbian relationships throughout history and had been surprised at the secrecy and embarrassment that most of the woman were put through just to maintain so-called "normal lives." She was aghast when she read about women who were fired in the 20th century for "outing" themselves at the workplace. She had learned to be thankful she had been born in such an understanding age.

 

Kathryn didn't remember when her thoughts strayed from the poems in the book to history of lesbianism and finally to the image that had been occupying her every waking(and dreaming)moment--the beautiful, blue-eyed Borg, Seven of Nine. The book slipped from her fingers as she began to slide her hands up and down her slippery flesh. Her right hand began it's faithful journey down her front sliding between thighs that opened easily. Even under the water, she could feel her slippery wetness and knew it just wasn't the water that was making her fingers easily slide up and down her slit......faster and faster. Images of Seven's face, eyes, hands, and body raced through her mind as she wondered how that biometric suit of hers really came off. Water sloshed over the tub rim as her hand quicken and slowed it's pace only to quicken again. So close.....so close.....'Ahhh, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.' Kathryn moaned as she reached her peak. Quickly she scrubbed herself clean and rinsed off as the water had become chilly during her fantasies.

She stepped out of the tub as the water slowly disappeared down the drain. Kathryn gabbed a large towel and was just wrapping herself in it when she heard the familiar buzz of the transporter beam and sparkles began to dance before her face. She watched in the mirror, intrigued, as she disappeared and rematerialized in the holodeck with the blank grid surface surrounding her.

"What the hell?" she cried and grasped the towel tighter. "I'm going to kill whoever did this!" She slapped her chest to activate her COMM badge and cursed as she remembered it was lying next to the tub. "Hey!" she screamed. "What's going on?"

She was rushing across the holodeck towards the entrance when she heard the buzz of the transporter behind her. Three shapes were materializing and she soon saw them form into B'Elanna, Seven, and Ensign Alex Kinsey. They looked equally as surprised and agitated as they appeared in the holodeck.

"Is this some kind of joke?" B'Elanna barked as she appraised Kathryn's scantily clad body. She frowned as she realized they were not alone. "Oh, great, the gang's all here." She tried the holodeck entrance to no avail and then she shouted. "Computer end program." Nothing. She tapped her COMM badge and ordered, "Torres to bridge."

No response.

"Torres to bridge," she tried again. "Torres to sickbay, Torres to engineering, Torres to anyone."

Again no response.

Seven and Alex were also trying their COMM badges with no response. Seven brushed past the Captain with barely an acknowledgment and began to work furiously at the control panel. "This is impossible, my Borg override codes have been altered. I am unable to unseal the doors nor restore our communication link to the bridge."

"Do you think we've been attacked?" Alex asked with concern.

"Just my luck if we are and I'm trapped in here!" barked B'Elanna.

Captain Janeway fixed her gaze on B'Elanna and glared. "That's enough speculation, let's try..."

She was interrupted by a voice that took them all by surprise, although it shouldn't have. "Ladies, please do not worry. You have not been attacked, nor is your ship in danger." The familiar voice of Q toned. "I have been observing your activities for the last month and I thought I could be of some assistance."

"We do not need any of your assistance, Q. Just please unlock the doors and let us return to our quarters. That is if we are still aboard Voyager." Captain Janeway questioned.

"Indeed you are still on your precious ship. Inside that chamber of yours that your crew loves to play out fantasies. It must be a welcome escape from your ordinarily dull lives." Q snorted.

B'Elanna spoke up. "Show yourself you wimp. Materialize in mortal form and I'll tear you to pieces." She was silenced by the stern look that once again came from her commanding officer.

"Just relax ladies. I will let you out when you are all friends again and have learned to play nice."

That seemed to end the communication from Q as they received no more responses to their questions or comments.

Alex walked over and sat down by the wall on the far side of the holodeck grid. She gazed imploringly at B'Elanna who was too transfixed by the image of Kathryn wrapped in a towel to notice her.

Seven was still working at the panel when a message blazed across the wall.

"Stop attempting to escape. Start working on the problem at hand or you will never leave. I can promise you that."

Seven backed away from the panel and paced nervously around the room, looking like a caged lion. Finally the Captain drew tired of watching her and demanded that she sit down. Seven sniffed and took a very unladylike, but stiff sitting pose across the holodeck. B'Elanna took a seat a fair distance away from everyone, leaving the Captain standing in the middle in her provocative garb.

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Each woman wanted to speak, but no one was brave enough to go first. B'Elanna was surprisingly forthcoming as she said, "How did all this happen? I guess I don't understand exactly why we are all mad at each other."

The Captain spoke up quickly. "I'm afraid that this is partly my fault. I betrayed a friend and I stuck my nose where it didn't belong." She gazed at Alex.

B'Elanna shrugged. "Care to fill us in?" Indicating Seven and herself. "I feel like we came in at the end of something."

The Captain started to speak, but Alex cut her off. "I should have said this along time ago, Lt. I wanted to date you, but I didn't want to break protocol by asking you out. After all you were my commanding officer. I confided my secret to the Captain and she was just trying to help. I think she had planned to leave us alone that night to get better aquatinted, but things didn't work out that way.

"And I was apparently leading you on." the Captain continued. "I enjoy spending time with you B'Elanna, but I was trying to strengthen our friendship, nothing more. I hope you can understand, B'Elanna."

"I should have figured that one out myself instead of jumping to conclusions. So where did Seven come in to all of this?" B'Elanna questioned.

This time it was the Captain who interrupted. "I started this whole thing by wanting to date again. I know I shouldn't have begun to search because I can't become involved with a crew member, anyway. But I was feeling lonely and restless and I wanted to sort out some feelings that were confusing me. She glanced at Seven who seemed to be lost in thought.

"That's where I came in." Alex explained. "I thought Seven and the Captain were a good match, but I totally screwed up the invitation. I wanted to surprise the Captain, so I didn't tell her and then Seven thought I was asking her out. Things just got out of hand from there."

"So let me get things straight, so to speak." said B'Elanna. "Alex is attracted to me, I'm attracted to the Captain, the Captain.....so, are you attracted to Seven?" she gazed at her former interest with mild curiosity. "Do you like Seven, Captain?"

The blush in the Captain's cheeks was fire-engine red. She was so stunned by the question and the thoughts of Seven's possible negative reaction that she could not speak.

B'Elanna turned to Seven. "Seven, you are being awfully quiet. Are you ignoring us or just formulating an escape plan?"

"My Borg matrix gives me the ability to process multiple thought processes at once. I heard your conversation as well as devised several possible means of escape." Seven said in her usual monotone.

"So Seven,why are you so against dating? Or is it just women that you are so against?" B'Elanna queried.

"As you may know, The Doctor was giving me 'social lessons.' And he insisted that I choose a male member of the crew to 'date.' It was a very uncomfortable evening resulting in Lt. Chapman's injury. I have decided to forgo the dating process as a means of socialization. It is a waste of time." Seven conceded.

B'Elanna scoffed at the statement. "It's only a waste of time when you date 'men.' Seven, you are forgetting the other half of the ship's population, women."

Seven gazed perplexed. "I can date women? I wasn't given that option."

"Then why did you react so strongly when Alex supposedly asked you out?" B'Elanna inquired.

"I did not want to break the rules. The Doctor's data only contained male-female relationships and I thought that was proper protocol."

Laughing B'Elanna said. "There is no protocol in dating, Seven. You should do whatever you feel comfortable with. Are you attracted to women?"

Seven gazed at the three women in the room, her eyes lingering just a moment longer on the Captain. "I believe I am more attracted to women, but you have stated that is breaking protocol to ask out a superior officer."

B'Elanna frowned. "A superior officer..." Her gaze swept the room and settle on the Captain, who was again blushing to her roots and trying valently to keep her towel from slipping. "Seven, you aren't a member of Starfleet, so the rules don't apply in this case. Am I correct, Captain?"

Captain Janeway avoided Seven's questioning look and stared down at her bare toes. "I suppose that is correct."

"Then I can date anyone on the ship?" Seven beamed.

"Looks that way." B'Elanna mused.

Seven seemed to mull that answer over as Janeway tried hurriedly to change the subject. "I think the crew has had about enough of our conflict. Can we all agree to be friends and start acting civilized again?"

Alex, who had been extremely quiet, cleared her throat as she approached the Captain. "I apologize for over-reacting. I should have seen that you only were trying to help. I'm sorry for threatening to punch you. It was uncalled for."

The Captain patted her shoulder. "It's OK, Ensign. I know you wouldn't have really hit me."

"You threatened to knock-out the Captain?" B'Elanna began to look at Alex in a new light. "You're my kind of woman."

Alex's blush rivaled the Captain's earlier coloring. "Oh." was all Alex could mutter.

The Captain addressed her refound friends. Let's put this all behind us and celebrate. I think Neelix would be more than happy to restart plans for our Christmas Eve celebration. What do you guys think?

Suddenly they heard a whooshing noise and the doors to the holodeck opened. A voice boomed "You have said the magic words, please proceed back to your quarters."

The four women stood there momentarily stunned. Q could sometimes be a strange creature, but who were they to argue when freedom was mere steps away.

"Thanks, Q." Alex called out upon leaving the holodeck and she saw three stunned faces turn towards her. "Well, he helped us make-up. I think he deserves some credit." she explained.

The three others just shook their heads and parted ways as they headed back to their own quarters. The Captain demanded an immediate site-to-site transport so none of the crew would see her wondering the corridors in only a towel. She had just finished dressing in pajamas and a robe when her door chimed.

'This better be important,' she thought to herself, 'I'm ready for bed.'

"Come." she shouted.

Seven of Nine appeared cautiously in the doorway, stopping just inside. She maintained her normal standing position, feet apart with hands behind her back. The Captain was very surprised to see her so soon.

"Yes, Seven. How can I help you?"

Seven produced a bouquet of pink roses from behind her back with a flourish. Handing them to a stunned Janeway, she remarked. "I wanted to ask if you had a date to the Christmas Eve dinner?"

Janeway smirked. "Seven, I haven't had time to inform the crew that the party is back on, let alone get a "date."

"Good." replied Seven. "Then I shall attend with you." she paused, gathering courage. "If that is acceptable."

"Very acceptable." agreed the Captain. "The flowers are beautiful. Thanks you." She turned to replicate a vase for them.

"I will contact you later to make the necessary meeting arrangements for the dinner. Good night." And with that she was out the door before the Captain had a chance to respond or turn around.

the end