Part 2

"Harry what are we doing? Why are we back here?" They had reached the
doors to her cargo bay. Harry did nothing but smile.

"It's a surprise. Just come inside." Her eyes widened when the doors
slid open to reveal pieces of furniture. "I hope you like them. I
picked out the colors. I know it's a cliché, but I am sort of good at
decorating." He was indicating the stack of folded fabric on one of
the pieces of standard issue Starfleet furniture. Two small chairs,
one couch and a table and chairs to be exact.

"Why is that a cliché?"

"Uh, never mind."

"I don't know what to say. Why did you do this? I don't need any of
this. She was fingering the soft cotton of one piece of deep red
fabric. All the colors were dark and deep. Black, blue, red and
green. "Thank you."

"This will be your place. Your quarters. The only thing I didn't get
you was the bed. I did get you some screens to put around your
chamber and around your whole area, if you want. I am still working
on the lamps so the light doesn't have to be these garish overheads."
He was moving furniture around and standing back to look at the effect
as he spoke. Seven could only stand stare.

"Did the captain tell you to do this? Part of my human
rehabilitation? Everyone longs for possessions?" These unexpected
gifts were making her suspicious.

"It was my idea. Come on and help me."

They spent the better part of an hour rearranging the furniture.
Seven was wondering the whole time why he was doing this. No one came
here. Not to sit and talk. Usually to stand and speak at her. Long
speeches about her behavior did not require a couch. Just the thought
of Katherine coming here and spending time, brought sparks to the
backs of her eyes.

At one point, just as they were beginning, she caught Harry laughing
at something. She looked around to find what it was that was so
amusing.

"What is so funny, Harry?" She didn't notice the casual use of his
first name. Neither did he.

"Nothing. I just didn't think I had an impact on you, that's all."
He was holding up the empty plate and glass that had obviously had
milk in it. "Chicken salad or something else?" His eyes crinkled
with amusement.

"Uh. I don't see why this is funny. Peanut butter and honey. I don't
like meat." She helped him move the couch to a better position.
Harry stood back and considered it.

"Why? It doesn't agree with your outlook on life? Your whole life
was spent exploiting other living beings and now you see no reason
to?" He was still looking at the couch and not at her. Seven looked
at Harry though.

"No. The Borg do what they must to survive and better themselves. I
don't know, meat just makes my stomach turn." Seven liked where the
couch was and she held Harry back from moving it again. The chairs
fell into place easily after that. "Harry, where did you get all of
this? I have rations to pay you back." Seven didn't want to be
beholden to anyone. She could take care of herself. Since being
separated from the Borg, she always had.

"The furniture was excess from the crew. We've lost crew members and
their furniture is just getting dusty. I hope you don't find it
morbid sitting on dead people's things." Harry looked at her, biting
his lip.

"People who are not here do not need the furniture and standard
Starfleet issue is hardly a monument to them. But the fabrics and the
screens? They are not standard issue." Harry ignored the question.
He watched Seven. She was at the moment fingering a particularly soft
piece of deep blue velvet. The color reflected her core mood lately.
This would go near her regeneration chamber. Colors were something
Seven had never paid attention to before. They were extravagant,
useless excesses of other species. It was a surprise that sadness
brought colors to her attention. Harry noticed her preoccupation with
the darker, deeper colors.

"People who are happy, loved, are themselves a color and other colors
support them. People who are lost and lonely try to find themselves
and bury themselves in colors that will not remind them that happiness
exists for others. The darkness creates a cocoon that protects you
from the harshness of reality. Others wrap themselves in dark colors
because their reality is dark and they like it like that. The bright
colors merely hurt their eyes. Which are you?" Harry had sat down on
the couch and Seven had curled into the other end. For now their
foray into interior design was finished.

"I don't know. Colors have always been irrelevant and they still are.
I am unable to explain the effect this color has on me." She paused
and looked down at her hand, marred by Borg implants. "Do you think I
am being foolish, trying to appear less Borg?"

"Is that what you are doing? It isn't that you are tired of
pretending not to care? About anything?" He got up and started to
spread the screens around her chamber. They were both silent for
several minutes as they tried to maneuver them into place so they
wouldn't look imposing and overpowering.

"I am curious to know if these things and activities of others
actually make existing better," she continued on as if no time had
passed. "But I don't care if they don't or if anyone questions me. I
was unhappy before. I can not make it worse. If I must exist alone
then I will." She reached for some fabric and spread it on the couch.

"It looks better if you spread it on half the couch, at an angle, like
this." He proceeded to do that and then stepped back. "There.
Seven, you are not alone. You will never be alone on this starship."

Seven looked at Harry and tried to decide if she should go further.
What would he say? "Harry, I am single. One. Not of nine anymore.
And when Tom started with the captain, I was left here with no
connection to anybody on the crew. They cannot forgive me for being
Borg, no matter how useful my talents are. And I can not forgive them
for being human. No matter how much my human qualities distress me."
Seven turned to study the pattern on a bolt Harry had hung on one of
the screens. She made no sound as he came up behind her and wrapped
his arms around her.

"You are not alone Seven and I forgive you."

"Why are you doing this? I am nothing to you. To anyone but myself."
She turned and looked at him, still within his embrace. She had never
been hugged before. It felt strangely...warm.

"I have my reasons. But I can't explain them." He hoped that he
wasn't going to hurt her. She was an innocent. But Tom was his and
after hearing how much his relationship with the captain bothered
Seven, he was determined to make her forget Tom. He pulled Seven
towards the couch and told the computer to turn the lights off. Only
the light from above Seven's chamber and emergency lights lit the
room. When they were sitting side by side he leaned towards Seven and
kissed her softly. She looked confused but not angry. He deepened
the kiss and opened her mouth with his tongue. She held herself still
and let him kiss her until they were both out of breath.

-What am I doing? What is Harry doing?- The confusion she felt
offset the intense curiosity that burned within her. This was
something new to her and it might help her understand the race she
found herself a part of. Seven ignored the voice telling her she was
betraying the captain.

"Can I undress you Seven? Tell me if I make you uncomfortable."
Seven couldn't see what was in Harry's hooded eyes.

"Yes. If you undress first." Harry nodded and stood up. He took his
uniform off with practiced ease, leaving his underwear on. He pulled
Seven to her feet and started to remove her uniform. He was having
trouble until she showed him the hidden zipper. She had nothing
underneath. Harry stood back and looked at the pale skin and curves
he had uncovered. The Borg implants didn't seem out of place. He
stared for a long moment and Seven was nervous standing naked. She
wasn't sure if she could go through with this. Harry reached out and
ran a hand from her shoulder to her breast and over the silver black
of the implants. He watched Seven react to his touch and was
perplexed when she suddenly smiled painfully and sat down on the
couch.

"What is it? Did I hurt you?" He sat down next to her, afraid to
touch her.

"No. I do not know what happened. Suddenly I felt the urge to...
to... Giggle?" She looked down at the floor.

."Giggle? You're ticklish?" Harry laughed out loud. He reached out
and touched the skin around the implants again. Seven shrieked and
tried to move away from the offensive hand. She was laughing out loud
now as Harry ruthlessly tickled her until she was breathless. Harry
was delighted at the incongruous sight of the seemingly cold Borg
woman laughing. He didn't notice the look in her eyes turn predatory.

"Are you ticklish?" she said, as he leaned back for a second. Harry
realized Seven's intentions only as her hand descended and she tickled
him under the ribs. He squirmed helplessly and tried not to laugh.

"No."

"Liar. Your attempt to deny the obvious is valiant. Unfortunately,
you are already giving in to my will." The look on Seven's face was
one of pure triumph as Harry gave in and laughed as he tried to avoid
her hands. He ended up backed into the corner of the couch, with
Seven kneeling in front of him, in all her naked glory. They both
fell silent as the captain's voice rang out through the cargo bay.

"Captain Janeway to Seven of Nine. Have you made any headway on the
regulator? I thought I would get a progress report, before I go over
to Sandrine's, but you are not in the astro-physics lab." Seven was
relieved when she discovered the voice came from her comm badge and
not from the doorway.

"I am... taking a break. I am meditating on the problem in my
quarters." She looked at Harry and he saw all the pain and guilt and
helpless love in her eyes. Realization dawned on his face as she
leaned her forehead down and rested it on Harry's knee.

"I will have her back at work in a while, Captain. I just thought she
needed some time off." Harry answered into the comm badge he had
found lying on the floor in the heap of their clothing.

"Ensign Kim? What are you doing there?" There was a long pause
before the captain spoke again. "You don't have to answer that. Maybe
we'll see you at Sandrine's later. Take a night off if you want,
Seven. Janeway out." Harry saw the familiar flash of pain in Seven's
eyes as she absorbed who the 'we' was. It was reflected in his own
eyes.

"All this time I thought it was Tom." He settled into the couch and
Seven curled up against his legs.

"You thought what was Tom?" Seven was quiet as she acknowledged what
she had been about to do. She wasn't even remotely attracted to Harry
and yet she had been about to have sex with him. She didn't
understand how she could love the captain as much as she did, but
still do this.

"I thought he was the reason you had run away. But it was the captain,
wasn't it? You love her. Not Tom." Harry was idly tracing a pattern
through Seven's hair as he spoke, lost in thought. Seven looked up
and it was no use hiding anymore. Harry already knew.

"You thought I was in love with Tom?" Seven laughed. It was very
different from the carefree laughing of moments before. "Tom Paris?
Is that why you are here? To pry into me and figure out why I left?
She put you up to this didn't she?" Seven started to get up but Harry
held her down.

"She who? I don't know what you are talking about. I am here to keep
you away from Tom. I'm glad the captain called before we both did
something we would regret." He could see the anger still lingered in
her eyes and he resumed stroking Seven's hair. He laughed after a
moment.

"You think this is funny? Your sense of humor is very strange."
Seven tried to get up again and again Harry prevented her. "Please, I
am cold." She got up and retrieved a deep navy blue robe from the
bathroom. Harry put on his T-shirt. Seven sat next to him again and
he pulled her into a loose embrace across his chest.

"It is funny. I love Tom and I was willing to sleep with you, a woman
no less, to keep you away from him. And you are in love with the
captain and you were going to sleep with me. Probably for human
contact." Seven braced herself on his arms and looked at Harry. She
gave a small smile and chuckled under her breath. "You see, we are
pretty silly."

"I suppose. And it was curiosity that drove this helpless maiden into
your arms." She smiled and settled back onto Harry at his snort of
disbelief.

"Helpless maiden? Please."

"I am an innocent after all."

"When did you develop this sense of humor?"

Seven only smiled. "What is it like to sleep with a man?" The
childlike curiosity in her voice made Harry smile indulgently.

"I am sure you've read all the literature."

"Really."

"It is different for me than it would be for you. But I can tell you
that sleeping with someone you love is incredible. Just listening to
them breath is sometimes enough." He was silent for a while as he
remembered laying in bed at night and watching Tom sleep.

"I have never had sex with anyone, let alone someone I love." She
paused and a small frown formed on her forehead. "And unless I can
forget Katherine and move on, I never will." She looked down and
traced a pattern on his chest. "Do you feel this same pain, being
separated from Tom?"

"He will come back to me. But yes, it does hurt." Harry looked down
at Seven. He didn't want to talk about Tom anymore. "Were you going
to come back? When you were in the forest?"

"No. I don't know. All I know is that I needed to get away from
Katherine. Her presence seemed to breathe pain into my lungs until -
I- couldn't breathe. Watching her with Tom that night at Sandrine's
was too much. I could barely look her in the eyes when she was...
unattached and not feel like she was too far away from me. First of
all I didn't know what I was feeling, I only hated feeling it.
Second, when she found Tom, she moved completely out of reach. She
was all that held me up for a long time and without her I fell a bit.
It took near death, alone on the planet and without her even close to
bring me to my senses." She paused and took a deep breath. "Yes, I
love her, but I will not beg and I will not destroy myself if I can't
have her. She must come to me. And if that never happens I will
survive." The strength and confidence that radiated out of her voice
made Harry proud of her.

"You sound so sure of yourself. Me, I don't know if I could live
without Tom. He is my life. When he and the captain split, and they
will, he will come back to me. Hopefully forever this time. But if
not, he will always come back to me."

"And you are content to let him run around and wait for him?"

"It is what he needs to do and I love him. He will never find better
than what he has with me anywhere else."

"I could not do that."

"You -are- doing that. You are waiting for the captain to get over
Tom and come back you."

"Katherine was never really mine and if she ever came to me I would
never let her go. I couldn't survive being apart from her. It is
hard enough now."

"Maybe. But Tom is a special case. At least he admits that he loves
me."

"It doesn't matter does it? This argument is pointless because we are
both apart from the ones we love and are miserable." Seven lifted her
head from Harry's warm chest and looked at him.

"True. But enough of this soul searching. I have the early shift
tomorrow and you have a regulator to reconfigure." He got up and
pulled Seven with him. "Will you meet with me again? Maybe at
Sandrine's? I like your company."

"Maybe. It -is- a relief to have someone to talk to." She smiled as
Harry sorted out their clothing and started to dress. She wrapped her
arms around herself and for the first time felt like this situation
would work itself out and that maybe feelings weren't as much a burden
as she had thought. Maybe.

"I will see you tomorrow, Seven."

"Yes." She walked him to her door and just as the doors were closing
she reached out and hugged him to her. "Thank you." She pulled away
and smiled, for the first time ever, at a crew member who coughed
discreetly as she came around the corner. One of the Delaney's.
"Goodbye Harry."

"See you." And he turned and walked back to his quarters. Seven
turned to Megan Delaney.

"Yes?"

"I came to see if you needed help with the regulator." She was still
smiling at catching Harry and Seven in the hall.

"I don't think I need any help right now. You may look at it and
offer any suggestions if you want. I will change and be with you in a
minute." Ice queen Seven was back and Seven found it easy to sink
into her. She didn't have to be friendly with everyone, did she?

When she emerged from the bathroom, Megan was looking around Seven's
quarters. "Very nice. Did Harry help you?" Megan smirked with
secret knowledge. Seven guessed it would be mere hours before every
crew member knew of this. Seven didn't see any reason she should
care. She ignored the question and walked out the door.

Once again Seven was the only one left in the lab and the silence was
a comforting blanket that she eagerly wrapped around herself. Every
crew member had a piece of information that they were dying to talk
about but were reluctant to do so in her presence. That didn't stop
the whispered comments and half overheard sentences about Harry Kim
and where he had been last night.

"Really?"

"Her?"

"I thought he didn't... you know..."

"I wonder what he sees?"

"Can she do that?"

And her favorite, barely whispered on a vicious tone:

"Maybe she has parts we don't know about."

All day it had been like that. Seven experienced that closest she'd
ever come to a headache. Mostly from trying to decide if she was
bothered by the gossip and rumors. It was, of course, untrue. He
didn't and she wouldn't. Not with him, he was like a brother she had
never had. Sort of. She still sighed with relief when they left,
though. She finally got some real work done in the ten minutes she
was alone. Her mind went on vacation again when Katherine stepped
into the room.

"Seven, there you are. I wanted to see how it was going. I tried to
catch you yesterday, but you disappeared when I got a chance."
Katherine looked at Seven and subconsciously memorized the radiant
beauty shining from her. The need to reach out to this woman child
was so strong, it made her dizzy. She ruthlessly pushed it down and
denied its very existence, but it didn't stop her from holding her
breath when Seven turned around and pierced her with a cold stare that
at the same time seemed to burn Katherine.

"I have been here. Working. I should have the regulator calibrated
by tomorrow morning, Captain." Seven tried not to let Katherine see
how much her being there bothered Seven. She wasn't ready to have
their relationship return to its normal routine. Katherine asks a
question, Seven answers, Katherine asks some more questions, then says
Seven needs to interrelate with the crew more. She found it hard not
to tell Katherine that the only crew member she wanted around her -
was- Katherine. So very hard not to reach out and touch her face and
cry on her shoulder from the tension of remaining aloof and separate.
But Seven knew Katherine would misinterpret a sign of weakness like
that as some sort of mental illness that some counseling and -sound-
advice would alleviate. Not as a total surrender to Katherine. Not
as a sign of how much Seven loved her and trusted her to help her
through this. Katherine would be comforting, but not in the way Seven
needed. And now that need was different.

Instead of resting her head on Katherine's shoulder, she wanted to
grab her shoulders and kiss her the way Harry had kissed her the night
before. It was a more intense need. A want. A desire. It was all
Seven could do -not- to do it and the effort made her slightly light-
headed. The cold flame in Seven's eyes darkened to a glittering fire.
She didn't notice, but she did feel the need to laugh hysterically at
the position she had been put in by a well meaning kiss between
friends.

The long silence went on until Katherine noticed the glint in Seven's
eyes turn to some thing she took as anger. "I am not rushing you.
The sensors show nothing in this sector, so we have a chance to work
at a human pace for once."

"I would still like to finish soon. This technology will help us. I
have some ideas to build other devices based on it. I was curious as
to why Lt. Torres was not working on this." She wasn't. She wanted
to talk to Katherine. Seven missed her and right now was willing to
take the scraps of Katherine's company that were thrown Seven's way.

"I thought you would enjoy working on this and Lt. Torres is doing a
maintenance run of the engines to make sure they are running in peak
performance when you are ready." Katherine stopped talking and
focussed on Seven more sharply. "You have never referred to yourself
as a part of Voyager." She paused. "I have heard the rumors about
you and Harry Kim." She let it rest at that and waited for Seven's
reply. The confusing rush of jealousy was ignored as she watched the
embarrassment flood Seven's face.

"We are friends. He does not judge me."

"I don't judge you, Seven."

"You don't?"

"No. I wanted to help you."

"Help me what? Be assimilated?

"No. Become part of the crew. Be accepted. Make friends."

"Your definitions are different than mine."

"I hope Harry can help you more than I did."

"I do not require his help." Seven paused and looked at Katherine,
not bothering to hide the emotion in her eyes. Katherine turned to
leave. "Captain, you helped me more than you know." With a last hot
glance at Katherine, Seven turned back to the model. Katherine left
feeling frustrated and confused. She suddenly felt the need to hold
Tom tightly and never let him go. She mistook this for love.

<*>

" Harry, I am too busy to come to Sandrine's tonight." Harry found
Seven engrossed in the regulator. "I have almost configured this to
make it work for Voyager. I want to have something to show the
captain tomorrow."

"Can't Megan work on it? I heard she was helping you." Harry wanted
to go to Sandrine's, but not alone.

"She is here as nothing more than a go-for and a spy." Seven turned
around and continued to set up the computer for another test.

"What are you talking about?"

"She admitted it to me last night after you left."

"What? What did she admit.?" Harry was very interested in what Seven
had to say.

"The captain told Tom where you were last night and when he saw Megan
in Sandrine's, he sent her to spy. I am sure the whole crew knows
about it by now."

"And she told you this?" He smiled suddenly and gave Seven an quick
hug. "This is too good."

Now Seven was confused. "Why?" She turned and studied the happy
expression on his face.

"Tom would not have sent a spy if he was not worried about what we
were doing. It obviously bothered him that we were together and Megan
catching us hugging is even better."

"I won't be your pawn, Harry."

"Surely you can see this will work in your favor, too. If Tom is
bothered by us then he won't let it get too carried away. He will
come back to me sooner to make sure I will still be there. The
captain will be free."

"And she will get hurt. I can't let that happen. As tempting as it
is." She dragged Harry to a nearby table and sat down. Impulsively
she ordered two milks from the replicator and gave him one. He smiled
at the strange choice.

"Seven, we don't have to do anything. And I would still see you even
if it didn't bother Tom. I'm going crazy without him." Harry traced
the lip of his glass with his finger and Seven decided the regulator
could wait. Harry obviously needed a distraction. She got up and
came around the table. impulsively she hugged him, needing human
contact as much as he seemed to. She kissed his cheek and pulled
back.

"All right, let's go to Sandrine's."

"Seven," he answered, smiling. "I didn't know you cared. Where did
this touchy-feely come from?"

"Something new I'm trying. Besides, you are safe and you are so
cute!" An impish light was reflected in her eyes and she winked.

"Have you been taking something?"

"I have been taking too much." Her eyes dimmed as she frowned
slightly. It skittered away and was replaced by a soft smile. "I
want to change and then I'll meet you at Sandrine's in twenty
minutes." Harry nodded and Seven stepped away. He followed her out of
the lab and they went in separate directions to get ready.


<*><*>


Sandrine's was full when Harry entered the bar. He quickly spotted
B'elanna sitting near the pool tables and she gestured for him to join
her. He would have went over to say hello if he hadn't noticed who
was playing pool. Tom and Captain Janeway were playing against Tuvok
and Chakotay. Normally Harry would sit close and watch Tom move. He
moved like a dancer sometimes and Harry didn't get them back to his
quarters soon enough before the lust took over. But Tom was dancing
around the captain tonight. Dancing -for- her. Tom looked up and
noticed Harry watching him. He gave a cruel smile, reached out and
kissed the captain on the neck. It was too much and Harry sought out
Seven's welcome face near the back. She was watching the display as
well.

When he got closer, Harry noticed the glittering look in Seven's eyes.
It was one he knew well. "He's only doing this to get back at me." He
sat down and took in the smoky atmosphere and the flare of fire on
Seven's face.

"Is it working?" She never took her eyes off Tom and Katherine.

"It hurts like hell, but I am indifferent. Let him have his fling."
He signaled a passing waitress and ordered two beers.

"Your strength is amazing. I am finding it quite difficult not to
walk over there and rip that insolent smile off his face."

"Please don't hurt his beautiful face." Harry smiled grimly and drank
half of the drink that had been placed in front of him.

"Surely there is more of him to love."

"Of course. I don't think the captain would take maiming her current
lover as sign of affection, though." He finished his beer and when
Seven shook her head at his silent question, reached for the second.
Harry sat back and took in what Seven was wearing. It was a long
black dress that flared out at the bottom. The top half was a simple
halter design that outlined Seven's form and long sleeved. It made
her intensely beautiful, but slightly unapproachable. "Where did you
get that dress? It looks great."

"It is new. It seemed appropriate. You look nice as well." Harry
was wearing simple back jeans and a dark blue button up shirt.

"Tom gave me this. I wore it to reassure him."

"You didn't wear it to make him mad that you are wearing it for me?"

"Maybe. You are too smart."

"That's a new one." She glanced up and the smile dropped from her
face. Harry turned and saw B'elanna walking toward them. She sat
down opposite them when she reached their table.

"Harry, Seven. What are you up to?" Her curiosity wasn't as nice as
Harry hoped it would be.

"Nothing. What are you doing?" Harry laced a warning in with his
question.

"I finished the engine maintenance and now I'm waiting for Seven to
finish her end. I hate waiting for other people's work." She turned
a venomous look on Seven. It was obvious she was mad that she wasn't
the one working on the regulator. Seven resisted the urge to rub it
in.

"I am almost finished. You could help later and see if you have any
idea's on the parts that are giving me problems." Seven was willing
to take the first step here, if no where else. B'elanna was shocked.

"I guess I could come look over your work." She gave Harry one last
questioning look and got up. "We'll talk later, Harry." She got up
and headed back to the main floor. The pool tables had been deleted
and a few couples, including Tom and Katherine, were dancing.

"She's in top form tonight." Harry finished the beer and sat back in
his chair. "I think she likes you." He gave Seven a teasing smile
and winked at her.

"I don't think so."

"Well, what should we do? Stay and observe? Go and play chess?
Would you like to dance?"

"I don't know how to dance."

"Dancing it is then." He grabbed her hand and pulled her, protesting,
to the floor. He showed her a few simple steps and then let them move
to the music. They were oblivious to the other couples watching them.
The loose waltz was easy and the music was a new delight to Seven.
She didn't notice Tom and Katherine dancing closer until Tom said
something to Harry.

"Enjoying yourselves?" Tom's sarcastic tone sent clear messages to
Harry. Harry smiled.

"Yes."

"I'll bet." Katherine was looking at Tom but she wasn't smiling. He
glanced at her and then at Seven. "Mind if I cut in?" Katherine
expected Tom to dance with Seven but he grabbed Harry and swung away
from them. Seven heard "you're mine," before they were out of
earshot. She smiled at Harry and turned to the captain.

-How brave am I feeling? Hmmm. Very.- "Shall we?" She gestured to
Katherine and gave her a devilish grin. Katherine still hesitated and
was looking after Harry and Tom. "They will be fine."

"You are acting very strange." Katherine said this as she impulsively
took Seven's hand and started to dance.

"I am capable of change." She lost herself in the pleasure of holding
Katherine close to her. She tried not to broadcast how much she
enjoyed it. It was almost painful to breath as Seven fought the urge
to pull Katherine tight against her and kiss her neck.

"This the first time we have been together for longer than a minute
and not been fighting."

"That was not my fault."

"Seven, if you would listen to me more, we would fight less."

"I can think for myself. You do not need to comment on everything I
do."

"You need someone to tell you when you are acting completely out of
hand."

"I don't."

"You do."

"I do not act out. You are not my mother."

"I am -not- your mother. And you don't think running away was acting
out?" Their voices were getting louder and they had stopped dancing.
So had everyone else. Harry disengaged himself from Tom's arms and
walked over to Seven.

"I was running away from you." A single tear escaped her control to
slide down to her chin. Seven let Harry lead her out of Sandrine's.

"What was that?"

"I don't know. I was fine until she brought up my -escapade-." Seven
spat out the word with an almost visible bitterness. "Harry, I love
her so much." She leaned against the corridor wall and looked at
Harry. "I don't want to talk about this. What did you and Tom talk
about?" She smiled through her pain and took Harry's arm. Slowly,
Seven led them back to her quarters.

"He more or less told me to stay away from you. I told him I had a
right to be lonely and in need of comfort, that I was getting tired of
waiting." They had reached the turbo lift. It was a relief to be
alone.

"I thought you weren't going to rush him."

"I can't lie to him. I am getting tired of waiting. But that doesn't
mean I won't wait. I am tired of pretending to stand by."

" I think we both need a vacation. But we'll have to settle for my
quarters. Are you hungry?"

"You know, I am. Chicken salad?" His laughter and her smile erupted
at the same time.

"Absolutely. And chess."

Harry sat down on the couch and set up the chess board. Seven brought
the food and pulled a chair to sit opposite him. Seven called for the
computer to play music and soft piano filled the room. The newly
added wall lamps created a comforting wall against the rest of the
ship. Harry smiled at Seven.

"I have been exploring the data banks," she said at Harry's look of
surprise. "I have become domesticated in six days. I am still not
sure if I like it."

"It's nice. I hope you keep it."

"I feel like a child playing house in a fort."

"You are not a child."

"No." They played three games, two of which Seven won. Harry was
yawning by the time he called 'checkmate' in the last game. He wasn't
sure if she had let him win or not. It didn't matter to either of
them.

"We've had quite the evening. I had better get some sleep or I am
going to be useless for my next shift."

"I am going to change and continue working on the regulator."

"Don't over work yourself."

"I know my limitations."

"The indomitable Seven has limitations?" He laughed.

"I do not like being teased, Ensign Kim." She smiled to take the
sting out her voice.

"Goodnight Seven."

"Goodnight Harry."


<*>


When Seven got to the lab she was relieved to find it empty and she
lost herself in the regulator, abandoning the rest of her mind to
think about Sandrine's. More importantly, holding Katherine. For the
moment, that was all she wanted. Just to lie and hold Katherine close
and listen to her speak. About anything. The whirlwind of Seven's
emotions had not slowed when she returned to Voyager. They had
sharpened.

For so long she had been indifferent, indifferent to Katherine's exact
effect on her and to her own effect on the rest of the crew. She saw
no reason to waste energy turning their minds and she still didn't.
But Seven now saw how far that indifference had pushed Katherine away
from her.

Seven couldn't seem to break through the wall she had built around
herself to reach for really wanted, no matter how much that wall
sheltered her from the crews hatred and distrust. Seven knew the
captain protected her as well, but Katherine was only a sentry posted
outside the main wall. She longed to let her in so they could stop
playing war games, but she also knew that Katherine deliberately kept
herself separate from Seven. She wondered if Katherine was afraid of
what might happen if she got too close. There no way for her to
reassure Katherine that Seven would never hurt her.

-I won't let you burn in the heat of my love.-

<*>

Seven was concentrating on the regulator when B'elanna walked into the
astro-physics lab and walked over to the console to check her
calculations.

"So what's the problem?" Seven's back stiffened at B'elanna's
question.

"I can not bypass the security program encrypted on it. It will drain
all our power and short out every system if we use it the way it is
now."

B'elanna immediately forgot her prepared barbs and faced the problem
presented to her. "Have you tried just deleting it?"

"Of course. The program is written around the main systems and there
is no way to delete it without erasing something else."

They tried so many different approaches over the next two hours, Seven
was sure she would be able to build it from nothing, she knew it so
well. When they finally discovered the way around the security
encryption, it was so simple, they both laughed.

"I can't believe it. All this time all we needed to do was to de-
activate this sensor." Belanna laughed again. "You must have been
preoccupied to have missed that one." She looked at Seven and, as
expected, the Borg ignored the sharp comment. "I talked to Harry
before I came here. He says you are just friends."

Seven continued as if B'elanna hadn't spoke. "We should integrate
this into Voyager's systems now and see if it makes a noticeable
difference."

"Yes. Tomorrow, though, I'm beat." Belanna didn't even pause. "So,
are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Are you just friends with Harry?"

"Of course. What else would we be? He loves Tom." Seven put the
regulator away into the cabinet where she had been keeping it.

"Does that bother you?"

"No." She closed the glass doors and stood up. "I could never satisfy
him. I don't delude myself by thinking I ever could. I merely enjoy
his company and I don't see why this should concern you."

"Because Harry is one of my best friends. I don't want him hurt."

"He hurts now." Seven turned away from B'elanna and walked towards
the door. "I must rest. I will see you in the morning and we will
attempt a trial with the regulator." Seven left the lab, B'elanna
watching her back as she left.


<*><*>


Katherine left Sandrine's not long after Seven. She left Tom behind
and walked out She told herself she was going after Seven, but she
was relieved when she couldn't find her. When had things gone so
wrong? Katherine hadn't expected Seven to be grateful for her
meddling, but she hadn't expected Seven to hate her. When had Seven's
frustrated anger reached its limit? When had Katherine pushed her
there? Katherine's feelings for Seven went deeper than she had
guessed. It hurt to think that she had caused Seven so much pain.
What had she done?

Katherine didn't want to go back to her quarters, strewn as they were
with Tom's belongings. She needed to be completely by herself, so she
went to forward aft. It was deserted. It was the very tip of
Voyager's hull. Here, you could sit and if you closed your eyes right
it felt like you were flying through the stars alone. Katherine
needed the empty bliss that the black between the stars provided. Her
mind was too full. The same questions circled around and the answers
to them were elusive. She didn't know what she had been striving for
with Seven, but it wasn't this. This empty hurt that had no name and
didn't bother to say where it came from. The mistakes Katherine had
made suddenly loomed in front of her, taunting her, and she couldn't
figure out how she allowed them to happen.

She lost track of time as the last months played through her head and
she tormented herself about the way she had handled Seven. It was a
rare moment for Katherine to brood about her actions. She didn't have
time or energy to regret her mistakes. There was always a new problem
on the horizon and she always did what she felt was best at the time.
There was no going back. Ever. She got up and stretched. She didn't
know where she would go, but she wasn't going to stay here and sink
into herself, she was still too agitated.

It didn't occur to Katherine to go to her own quarters. She went
instinctively where she always went when she needed to vent. When she
reached Seven's bay, she just went in. Katherine had never announced
herself before and she didn't see why she needed to now. She stopped
when she saw what Seven had done to her quarters in the past few days.
The rich, dark colors, intricate designs and low lights made it seem
as if you had entered a deep warm pool and could rest for a while in
the quiet solitude. A stray remark of Harry's ran through her mind
and it made sense that he would have helped her.

Katherine looked around and saw that Seven wasn't there. She sat down
on the Starfleet couch that was covered in a warm blue fabric and
decided to wait. She took in the finished chess game and empty dishes
and tried not to let their meaning disturb her. Leaning back, she
didn't notice as stress caught up with her and she drifted off.

Seven entered her quarters and immediately reached for the stays of
her uniform. Once they had been loosened, she let out a sigh and
started toward the bathroom. She stopped she heard a small sound from
her couch. Seven's face registered surprise when she realized who was
asleep on her couch, wrapped in a warm blanket.

She walked over and knelt down in front of the sleeping form of the
captain. Seven's eyes were pricking as she studied the peaceful beauty
that shone from Katherine's face. She wanted to reach and touch her,
but didn't want to risk waking her. It was enough to be this close
and be free to let her love flow from her eyes to enclose the captain.
She rapidly blinked back tears as she thought of how rare this moment
was and would be.

-I love you so much and you will never know.- Seven spoke silently to
Katherine from the quiet recess of her mind. -I won't bring you down
to share this hell of self restraint. I want to touch you so badly
right now its killing me slowly not to.- Seven didn't notice that
Katherine's eyes had opened. She was looking at Katherine's hand
curled around the dark blue softness of the blanket and thinking how
beautiful and capable it was. Seven was reaching out to touch the
hand when Katherine made a sound that brought Seven's eyes flying to
the face before her. Their gazes locked for a short moment before
Seven looked away and shuttered the raw need and pain in hers.

"What are you doing here, Katherine?" Seven stood up and sat in the
other chair.

"I came to see you, to make sure you were all right. I must have been
more tired than I thought.." Katherine sat up but retained the sleepy
huskiness in her voice. It was doing strange things to Seven's
systems.

"You have not been sleeping much at night lately, probably." She let
the insolent remark drop into the quiet of the room and mask her hurt.
"I am fine. It has been a strange time for me lately and my emotions
are a little too close to the surface."

"I would like to talk about that if you need to." Katherine could see
she wasn't going to get any answers to her questions tonight. Seven
was too controlled and too on edge.

"I don't need to." The anticipated reply nevertheless caused a stab
of unexplained pain to Katherine's heart. She stood up and stretched.

"I wanted to make sure you were settling back in after your adventure
and I can see you are. I like what you've done." She paused. "Well,
I can see you were getting ready for sleep, so I'll go now."
Katherine moved toward the door and indicated the open uniform Seven
had forgotten about. Seven studied her reaction, but she could read
nothing. "Please, Seven, come to me for anything." With that
Katherine turned and left, leaving Seven to stare at the closed bay
doors.

Perplexed, Seven finished taking her uniform off. The robe slid easily
over her shoulder's and she turned to clean up the dishes and chess
game from the table. She played the last ten minutes over through her
mind.

Something was going on with Katherine, but Seven was at a loss to
identify it. What had happened to bring Katherine to her doors? She
wasn't going to attribute it to her outburst in Sandrine's; surely
that couldn't have disturbed her enough to drive her from Tom's arms.
It was too much to hope for and Seven wasn't in the habit of letting
her hopes get too high. It only gave you a farther drop when you were
roughly pushed off the precipice. -I can't think about this now.-
Seven slipped into her chamber and turned of the lights before
drifting into the void of her dreams.


<*><*>


"Captain." Harry paused as he waited for Captain Janeway to answer
him. She didn't seem to hear him and he tried again. "Captain?"

Katherine shook herself and looked up from the view screen. Now was
not the time to analyze her encounter with Seven the night before.
"Yes?"

"I'm sorry, you seemed to be off in a distant galaxy." Harry smiled
at the weak joke.

"Was there something important?" Katherine was getting annoyed and
everyone on the bridge knew it. Harry slipped back to ensign mode.

"The sensors have found a planet where we might do some scavenging for
food and resources." He showed her and Chakotay the planet on the
console.

"Is it inhabited?" Chakotay's voice was thoughtful as he studied the
report on the planet.

<*>

"A class M, lush vegetation and only inhabited on one continent, the
largest, by a primitive species." Neelix answered Captain Janeway's
question quickly. "The uninhabited continental islands are used
primarily by neighboring planets as retreats. Completely without
technology."

"A campground planet?" Katherine sounded amused. The other senior
staff in the ready room smiled. The next shift had come to take over
bridge duties and Katherine had immediately called an impromptu staff
meeting. The planet in question was only two and half hours away, so
preparations would have to made quickly.

"Captain?" Neelix was slightly confused at her question.

"Nothing."

"This planet is used for training mainly."

"What about the inhabitants? Do they police who is allowed access to
the planet?" This could be a good opportunity for shore leave for the
crew. She didn't count the recent planetary manhunt for Seven as a
break.

"They are completely isolated on their continent. Very primitive. Uh,
I think you could compare them to... Uh... Neanderthals? Early man,
if my studies are right?" He continued at Katherine's nod. "The
nearby planets have a loose treaty that prohibits anyone from
interfering with them. A long term scientific study of evolution,
sort of. I'm sure if you notified the nearest planet of our intentions
they would be more than willing to let you visit the planet."

"That sounds good. Thank you, Neelix." She turned and looked at the
rest of her bridge staff. "How does a few days of r'n'r and food
gathering sound.?"

'That sounds great." Chakotay was obviously looking forward to
communicating with real, not Holodec, nature for a few days. He was
about to say something else when Seven and B'elanna came over the
comm.

"Captain, we are about ready to test the regulator. I think we should
be on guard just in case this thing shorts out and we are left with
emergency power only."

"Agreed. Whenever you are ready." Everyone was holding there breath.

"Here we go."

"We are ready, Captain." Seven's voice sounded and Katherine once
again ignored her reaction to the low tones. It was more difficult
this morning though, after spending a night awake and thinking about
her. Tom had spent the night somewhere else so there was no
distraction for her mind and imagination. The images it produced were
disturbing; she was having a hard time keeping them out of her mind
and not letting them effect her concentration. Katherine's reverie
was interrupted by a shout of triumph from B'elanna.

"It worked, Captain." Belanna's voice was loud in triumph, the
exileration evident in her excited tones. "Not a single system is out
and there is no power drain. In fact, energy output is already down
four percent and rising."

"That's great. It seems we now have a reason to go on a holiday and
celebrate. Well done."

"What? A holiday?"

"I'll send someone to explain. I think Ensign Kim would like to see
the regulator anyway." Katherine smiled at Harry and dismissed him.
He got up and was out of the room before she could say anything.
"Well. Lets get moving. I will contact the authorities. Chakotay,
will you organize a shift schedule? I'll tell you when I have
permission. Then you can notify the rest of the crew." She looked
around for any more questions. Everyone looked anxious and excited
about the possible break from Voyager. "Dismissed. Lt. Paris, can I
speak to you?" The remaining senior staff hid smiles as they left,
missing the grim looks passing between the two as Tom and Katherine
silently acknowledged what was about to happen. "Where were you last
night?"


<*><*>


"Great work, Seven. You too. B'elanna." Harry was all smiles.

"You're glowing this morning, Harry. Something good must have
happened." B'elanna was studying a screen as she watched the
regulator completely integrate itself into Voyager's systems. "I'm
sure with a little work I could make this thing work better."

"Something did happen. But it can wait. I came to see if you two
would like to go for lunch. You deserve a break and we can talk about
the possible upcoming camping trip." Harry quickly explained about
the planet and its function.

"You two go; I want to work on the regulator." She was already
ignoring them as she talked to her engine room computer like an old
friend. Harry and Seven smiled at her and then slipped out. Seven
observed Harry as he practically skipped the short distance to the
turbo lift.

"She is right. You are glowing. What is going on?"

"Nothing. I talked to Tom last night. Really talked. He says he
loves me."

"What about the captain?" -What about Katherine?-

"I don't know, but she's a big girl."

"How can you be so flippant? He's going to hurt her."

"Seven, calm down. Did you really think this relationship was going
to work? That he was right for her? I'm sorry Seven, but I am
getting tired of playing the martyr." Harry wasn't smiling anymore.

"I know. But Katherine-" Seven's voice was quiet; she was almost
speaking to herself. "Harry, I can't bear the thought of her hurting."

"I know. We don't know what's going to happen yet. She may welcome
the break. Surely you don't think she was fooling herself enough to
think this could last?"

"She's not stupid." They had reached Harry's quarters and he walked
in. Seven stopped when she saw who was sitting on the couch.

Tom was perched on the end, his head in his hands and his face pale.
Harry immediately sat down and put an arm around him.

"What happened, Tom?" He was gently rocking Tom and stroking his
head. Seven, who felt like an intruder, nevertheless had to know what
had happened between Tom and Katherine.

"I told her. She seemed okay, she just needed some time. I think she
knows it was right." The words came out in a rush.

"Was it hard?" Harry leaned back and they rested against the back of
the couch. Both Harry and Tom had forgotten about Seven standing in
the corner of the room, watching.

"I don't know why its affecting me so much. Katherine's great and we
had fun," He paused and looked at Harry. "But I don't love her. And
I'm tired of running." Harry's eyes clouded and he softly kissed Tom.
Seven slipped out before intruder turned to voyeur.

<*>

Seven walked in a daze to her quarters. -She's free.- Seven smiled
ruefully at herself as she quickly changed into her robe. She curled
into the couch and picked up a pad of the regulator specs. The
figures flashed before her eyes unseen. -She was free before. You
did nothing. You won't do anything now.- The voice in her head
sounded confident. -She has made her feelings clear. Why throw
yourself against the wall? You'll only end bruised and bleeding
again.- She sighed and put the pad down. She turned the lights low
before sliding further into the couch and staring at the open ceiling
far above her.

Seven indulged herself in fantasies. Katherine came to cry on -her-
shoulder and Seven was able to reach past her wall and comfort her.

Katherine, in her misery, realized it was Seven she loved and no one
else would fill the void within her. She came to Seven's quarters and
Seven was waiting for her.

The scenarios got steadily more involved, but each one ended with
Seven just holding Katherine. Seven just wanted Katherine to come to
her and allow her to draw the woman she loved close and create a haven
within her arms. Seven's arms ached with need and she wrapped her
arms around her own torso in a vain attempt at substitution. She
wondered what Katherine was doing, and if she was okay. -What would
happen if I jut went over there and asked her? I know what. She
would resent my gesture and we would get into an argument.- She was
tired of fighting Katherine and herself and the rest of the crew. Her
thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bay doors sliding open.

"Seven?" Harry's voice called out in the darkness.

"Yes?" She stood up and turned the lights up. Tom was standing behind
Harry, looking uncomfortable. And happy.

"Did you want to go to lunch? I honestly didn't forget about you."
Harry came over and sat beside her on the couch. Seven gestured for
Tom to sit on one of the chairs.

"I don't know, Harry. I was working on something." The feeble lie
sounded worse out loud. Harry looked at the discarded pad and smiled.

"Sure you were. Come on, B'elanna even said she'd meet us."

Seven wasn't sure she could be around Tom, but she said yes and
changed back to her uniform. They left and Harry took her hand and
Tom's and pulled them close.

"My two best friends. Now don't fight over me and we'll be fine!"

"I am truly honored. Do you think he should be sent to sick bay, Lt.
Paris? He is behaving very strangely." She looked at Tom over
Harry's head. She was finding it hard to treat him like the enemy when
Harry seemed so happy. One of them at least should be able to find
happiness. She felt better when Tom smiled slowly at her and hugged
Harry to him.

"Seven, we can share but I get him nights and mornings. And-"

"I hardly call that sharing." Seven interrupted Tom. "You let me
beat him in chess a few nights a week and he is free to visit when
ever he wants." Harry was forgotten as Seven and Tom negotiated
custody of the man who was laughing as they entered the mess hall.

"Alone?"

"You, of course, are welcome to chaperone."

"Deal. How does that sound to you, my love?" Tom heaped something
bright green on his plate and moved further down the line. He watched
as Harry picked out some foods Seven might eat and put it on her
plate.

"That sounds fine to me." He turned to Seven. "Is that good. I hope
you like it." Seven looked skeptical and grimly ordered her
supplement drink, just in case. They walked to a nearby table and sat
down. Tom and Harry on one side and Seven and the chair next to her
for B'elanna. Seven watched as the two across from her fed each other
off their plates. Tom was blissfully unaware that his behavior with
the captain had bothered Seven. He treated her as if he had not
played with -her- Katherine and then discarded her. Harry smiled at
her and she managed to smile back, but Tom was perplexed at the cool
stare that was directed towards him. Before he could comment though,
B'elanna sat down.

"Thanks for saving me a seat. Even if this food doesn't look like it
was worth coming here." She smiled and spooned a green mouthful into
her mouth, swallowed and then looked at Harry and Tom. "So you guys -
are- back together. That must be what Chakotay was muttering about."

"What do you mean?" Harry put his fork down and glanced at Tom before
looking back at B'elanna.

"Well, I saw him in the turbo lift and he was muttering about the
captain having a bad day and him having to do extra work. He said
something happened and she locked herself in her quarters and told him
to contact the planet reps about the shore leave." B'elanna stopped
talking when Seven suddenly stood up and started to walk out.

Harry quickly left the table and grabbed her arm before she could
leave the mess hall. "Seven, I'm sure she's okay. Let her work it out
herself." Neither noticed that people were turning to stare, not the
least of which were Tom and B'elanna.

"I want to go to her," Seven whispered furiously. "I need to make
sure she's okay. I need to Harry. She would do the same for me. She
has." Harry had not let go of her arm, but had walked her to the
turbo lift. "Please let me go."

"I hope you are not making a mistake."

"So do I, but I can't stay away."

"I understand." He smiled at her as the lift doors closed.

Part 3